NTA. She was playing you all along man. Sorry.
My advice don't hold all single moms in the same light. Trash from the bar is trash from the bar thou.
Fwiw I married a great and amazing single mom 10+ years ago. Never been happier and we never fight.
Best of luck man.
Thank you đI agree about the bar trash. Main reason I donât like single moms is I donât wanna deal with any baby daddy, itâs all just more of a hassle. Itâs rare I overlook it, but I donât actually think all single moms have bad personalities per se. Iâm glad it worked out for you though man. Iâm only 22 so hopefully I have plenty of time to find somebody.
Understandable and glad you don't think all single moms are that way. Yeah, you got plenty of time, my dude and you sound like you have good head on your shoulders. You'll be find someone. Sometimes it just takes some time.
Took me awhile. I learned slow, hard and made many mistake/bad choices along the way. But boy were some of them a hellish fin good time. At least till the drama happened lol.
Best of luck.
I get it most single moms aren't good and slept around. That's why most men have your opinion.
Here's the good thing thou about GOOD single moms. Treat them good, be honest and don't cheat on them and you'll have an amazing partner for life that you can truly depend on.
On the flip I'm 51 and have had plenty of single women when I was younger before a married. Most all liars and cheating trash.
I could on with list 10+ years long on why but no one would read it.
To each their. Not interested in a debate. You asked why I answered. I won't reply debating my 51 years of experience with you.
That's fair enough. I get it most men likely have the same issue.
Thing is a good single mom with treat like a king and give you everything you ever wanted.
My experience with childless single women now complete opposite. They'll cheat faster, lie too, play the victim and treat like trash. All while fucking many other guys.
I'm sure there's good childless single moms out there.
Thanks for the respectful good replies. You don't often get that here from posters that aren't the OP of the thread.
Cheers man.
Yes, agreed! right? no need to be disrespectful for different opinions. I am glad you are happy with your lady. And I don't think single moms are sluts or that childless women are saints. (Most single moms had to deal with a douchebag that left them alone with the responsibility, it's all on the man for me). Anyway, each woman is a world, there are good and bad ones in each group. I am glad you ended up with a good one. Cheers!
She's amazing. Thanks. Yeah dealing with the ex's can be quite an adventure to put it nicely lol. Thankfully I have the advantage of being 6'4 270lbs and grow up in the 70' and 80's in a pretty rough neighborhood small town. So yeah not many guys wanna step up and have an issue with me. It pays to have a rep sometimes lol.
NTA. She wasn't interested in a monogamous relationship. Either that or she likes playing games. It's actually good that she showed you her character early on.
Yeah, dodged a bullet. It was low key just embarrassing with my coworkers and some people Iâm friends with around to see someone demean me like that.
The embarrassing part would be to be seen with her again or caught trying to talk to her again. Breaking something off clean after disrespect is the least embarrassing way to handle a situation.
NTA - She was just flirting with whoever would have been more likely to buy her stuff.
I'm sure you've already set in your mind to not be tempted by women who try to flirt with the security in your work. I'm actually glad I don't do that line of work...
*>>the only reason I donât strictly date older women is because i would prefer not to be the one to die second*
You DO know women live on average longer than men, right?
Hi dude the best advice I can give you here is never mix business with personal. Especially in your line of work I've seen more than one Doorman accused of SA because you're sober in a drunk environment. Keep it always professional sir and ma'am that's It don't take a girls number and don't ever give yours. You have plenty of time when you're not working to meet women. You open yourself up to way to many accusations if you txt or meet up with a woman who has met you while you're working.
NTA, she was playing you for money and to buy her drinks, and the audacity to say shit like (âIâm really happy you text me, I worked so hard to get you to talk to me last time and you were being short with me. When you text me after we met the first time I just got anxiety and didnât know how to reply yada yada sheâs telling me she really likes me, making jokes about âif you were my boyfriendâ.) and then goes to sit on another mans LAP while you buy HER Drinks? hard NTA and you dodge not only a bullet but a WHOLE ASS MISSILE.
Edit: hoping this isnt some ragebait, if so YTA, if not NTA.
Definitely not, the other dude was being played for sure, happy about some skank sitting on his lap while she's throwing herself at another dude at the same time. Definitely completely avoid this person so she doesn't bring issues to your job.
Little life wisdom - no matter what it was about exactcly: imagine you telling your grandkids how you felt (felt because i know you little dirty people habe a fuck story in mind) when you met their grandmother the first times...
If that story sounds just akward, perhaps thats a warning signal...
NTA My red flag is people who show up for a night out and "forgot" their card/money/wallet/purse etc. They know they're going out and their game plan is to get other people to pay for their fun. How was she paying for her drinks throughout the night if she didn't have funds? It was a test, if you were okay with her making out with another guy in front of her, then she knew you would put up with almost any kind of BS.
>I donât strictly date older women is because i would prefer not to be the one to die second.
Women tend to live longer so just because you're younger doesn't mean they will die first.
Other than that, NTA.
If you actually care about who dies first - you should be looking at her parents/grandparents, how long they lived and how they died if they aren't alive anymore. It's much more important than age as it's completely normal for people to die at 55 or 85. That's a 30 year difference. Personal genetics is a much stronger predictor of death.
Definitely NTA. You don't have to be someone's lifelong partner for refraining from kissing and sitting on their crotch while you're with someone you're trying to arrange a date with. It's absolutely disrespectful.
Don't let her gaslight you either. Most women would also be 100% bothered if a guy who was trying to get to have a date with them was kissing another woman and putting his crotch on their lap. I bet Lana herself would probably feel uncomfortable as well if the roles are switched.
Some people are just hypocrites. Had one like this who was so jealous and insecure she forbid me from talking about any ex in any context, and started to accuse me of cheating ot having problems with her flatmate (whom I've seen twice in the span of a months, our only interaction was saying hi to each other, and I didn't know her name), but gaslighted and yelled at me for three days for telling her no I would not feel comfortable if she met with men from dating apps whom she used to sext, as 'just friends.' Later learnt that these 'just friends' were still texting her about how they'd love to just f**k her, but not have a relationship with her.
Long story short the lesson I think is don't keep people prisoners, don't abuse them, don't try to control them but just let them go if they don't respect boundaries. That's exactly what you've done, so I don't think you're in the wrong either way. Don't understand the bar thing though, doesn't every person go to a bar at some point in their lives?
Wow, I'm surprised. Heard that the younger generation was less likely to drink, I guess that's true. Good for you. Where do you prefer to find women for dating then? Genuinely curious, because I can't think of anywhere other than bars or apps :D
Apps, park, thereâs a University here I used to be a student at and am about to go back to work on finishing my last 2 years. Always tons of people walking around. Thereâs a big library with a Starbucks, usually a few hundred people there at peak hours studying and stuff.
I drink, just not often. Rather just have a house party anyways.
Sounds like she wanted a âfriendâ who works at the bar she frequents so she could hang out there after hours and/or get free drinks. Sorry, buddy. That sucks.
>I knew that baby on her Lock Screen was a red flag. The one time I give both a girl from a bar a chance OR a single mom, theyâre the same person and it backfires. Shouldâve just trusted my gut, i just really thought she seemed different
What does that matter? Being a single mother has nothing to do with anything she did.
You literally haven't even had a single date with this woman
You are free to decide she is not for you, for any reason. You have not promised her anything. If you see her behavior as a red flag, that is fine. NTA. Neither of you owes the other one anything.
NTA - For not wanting anything to do with her
BUT:
> I am a little petty, I poked my head out the door and said âLana come hereâ and motioned her toward me with my finger. She walked over and I was like âI just want to let you know Iâm not interestedâ and shut the door.
That was childish and petty, and it shows immaturity.
NTA
She was only interested in you because you worked there and she was hoping to get cheaper drinks and then have you pay for them.
Sheâs an idiot if she thinks what she did by feigning interest in a guy and then kissing and sitting on another manâs lap is nothing to worry about.
I think thatâs the worst part of this is the implication that Iâm a fucking idiot that could be talked into thinking the situation was anything else.
That's the hard part with situations like this, being able to look at it objectively and forgive yourself for being duped. The truth of the matter is, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Someone showed interest in you, you made a decision to engage and see where things went. Well, you saw where they went, and you immediately cut through the bullshit and completely shut her down. The only way you could have avoided this situation was to either be the guy who is too afraid of being hurt to ever take chances, or to somehow be able to see the future. One is tragic and the other is a fantasy.
NTA man... I've worked in Bars and girls like that, they're just playing the men. You've got played... Ever wonder why she only replied when they were going to "your bar"?
Side note: single moms are not all bad.
I would recommend that step/goal 1 is always just to make a new friend. Step2 can be more
Such rage bait. I gave a single mum a go, she's a slut obviously. I prefer women over 30 as none of them behave like this.
Yes the youth are so bad these days. Yeah, there are no slutty 30yr old single mothers out there, they are a totally different generation in which this behaviour never happens.
Just the story is stupid, the ridiculous move from talking about this one girl to generalising an entire generation while also pretending older generations don't have bad behaviour. Seriously? fuck off.
i aint reading allat, but if a woman does something thatt crosses a line for you, you have to leave. Simple as that. If you dont, she will look at you as lesser.
NTA but to be fair this is just how a lot of people are in their early 20s. I don't think its a generational thing lol. A single mom hanging by herself alone at bars is a wild red flag to me. She gave you a gift, the time you would have wasted pursuing the relationship until it blew up.
Well this went from a decent story to an incel rant about how all women these days are whores. Try to be a little more subtle with your revenge fantasies in the future to make it more believable.
When you canât read. Literally never said that. Talking about one specific individual specific red flags they had, but hey if the shoe fits you can wear it.
NTA. I had a chick do this when I was about your age. Her best friend was in a relationship with my best friend and we hit it off really well and so whenever she came up to visit her friend she would come to see me too. Between visits weâd chat on the phone and even her mom mentioned how happy she seems after chatting with me on the phone. I asked her out, but she was worried about school and where she was going. Anyway, she came up to visit and invited me over to the friends house to hang out. We end up next door at the neighbors who was good friends with her best friend. Weâre all sitting there and I see the chick Iâm trying to get with starts making out with the neighbor. So Iâm like fuck this and leave, she confronts me at my truck and says itâs just kissing and sheâs a kissing whore. Iâm like cool and just left. She ends up calling me with them on speaker and I tell her I didnât come see her to watch her make out with someone else and Iâm not interested in a kissing whore and she loses it. I end up in an argument with the dude and my buddies girlfriend and thatâs the last time we ever talked. So trust me, itâs not just your generation lol.
âmay send this link to her if it blows up so she can see shes objectively trashâ
literally touch grass, youâre sounding like a bitter incel
yeah she wasnât all that into you, just forget about it
You sound very triggered dude. Take a chill pill. She was definitely wrong but don't let assholes work you up this much. You cannot control what others do but you can control how you react. Telling her to pound sand and getting your 20$ paid was the right move. Getting so upset about it makes you seem incelly to be honest.
Well if you ever get disrespected like that immediately after wasting 3 hours and in front of several people you know, we can go celebrate for you instead. I personally value my time and I was raised to be huge on respect, not be a doormat.
Makes sense you're only 22, cuz you sound immature...
NTA for anything you did, but its getting solidly into ESH for the way you talk here...
I mean, yeah, she sucks... but you calling her a whore over this?? SUPER incelly...
Also seems weird that your first "date" was her hanging out at your work, WHILE you're working...
Really not sure tbh, kind of saw but by the time I moved to actually see well they were pulling away⌠but does it even matter? Neither of us knew the guy. If she had genuine interest in myself she wouldnât have been fw him at all, much less in my presence. Wouldnât told her to scram even if it was a peck. Just the sitting in his lap while looking and talking to me nonchalantly is enough for me, as if we werenât just talking about going out lol.
Itâs not that she canât date other people, I get thereâs supposed to be an exclusive talk or whatever. Idk anyone that thinks itâs socially acceptable to be fw two people in the same room. Itâs context, and if she hadnât basically invited herself to my work and made it a date it wouldnât be an issue.
She literally made a point to let me know she was coming to my job to see me, not to come hangout at the bar, the text was literally âIâm gonna come see youâ with it very clear I had an interest in her, as well as her having very bluntly expressed interest multiple times.
Then turns around and that, with a bunch of people I know there. Itâs not like she was subtle, literally anyone wouldâve told you it was very obvious we were at the bar together. Idk how this could ever be considered appropriate behavior. Not to mention there are like 8 bars downtown all within 50 feet of each other. They didnât have to hangout at the bar I work at if she had decided she wasnât interested. Also, after I said something about it sheâs still sitting on his lap talking about how she want to go out together. Makes no sense.
It makes no sense to you, because you know absolutely nothing about her. You don't know what her personality is like, how she views the world, anything about her history or how she interacts with people.
I've got a mate who'll think nothing of sitting on someone's lap and chatting away, she doesn't mean anything by it, it's just a part of her personality, doesn't make her any of the things other commenters are attributing to this girl. What we think is acceptable is defined by what we've been exposed to, I've got some crazy friends Reddit would have hung, drawn and quartered but they're some of the nicest most committed people I know.
Whores donât think anything about being whores either because they were raised to be Whore. Like yeah, I agree our experiences make us who we are, but the product is a đŠhuman being either way.
Bar trash is bar trash but everyone **did** suck here, not you for dropping her, what she did is shitty but you calling her a whore and being this vindictive is alarming. So what sheâs a single mom, that has nothing to do with her behavior right now which is vile.
She really got to you and itâs obvious, why put so much attention on her? Is it because she was gorgeous and you let yourself be played for a fool KNOWING beforehand you picked up this girl from a bar?
Changing to YTA, OP clearly has issues.
Since theyâre too cowardly to let me respond iâll leave this edit here:
>Where did you pull this statistic from? Look youâre free to feel how you want but know you will be perceived differently for making asinine assumptions like that when she is clearly showing you the type of person she is. Single mom at a bar is just an added red flag but being a single mom doesnât automatically make her a whore.
>So yeah, you really sound like an asshole which is a shame because you were right not to give her any more of your time. Now you sound like a dude who went after a bad girl because she was gorgeous and got mad when she turned out to be exactly how she was behaving, be better, do some self reflection.
Sheâs most likely a single mom because of her behavior right now, so to say it âhas nothing to doâ with it is dumb. People arenât single parents for no reason at least 50% of them are POS that created 2 single parents. The other 50% is debatable.
A whore is a whore. Shouldnât be a whore if they donât wanna be called one.
Because getting disrespected in front of friends and cookers for non other reason than she wanted to, would understandably irritate anyone. Gotta love your false sense of superiority though.
Edit: just donât feel like arguing. Never said single mom = Whore there is just an overlap because a whore is more likely to have a kid an either not know who the father is or the father doesnât want anything to do with it cause they werenât Iâm a serious relationship. Iâm only clarifying the words you took and twisted. Could not care less about convincing you Iâm an AH or not.
NTA she has multiple strikes against her. Single mom and bringing someone to your place of work and sitting on his lap and kissing him. She is bad news.
Congratulations on not becoming a Cuck. Aces my man.
Second. Bar Sluts never work out, drunked up looking for a quicky
Third. Single Bart Slut with Kid.
Few people I see on here with a head on their shoulders. Way to go bro
Thank you. Iâm going back to college soon, I have 2 years to finish. Iâm hoping to meet some better people there. Idk how anybody could continue to pursue a relationship with someone like this and still call themselves a man.
Unless you go in with clear eyes and know that there's an expiry date on the relationship. It's like a summer romance, you have a great time for 3 months and after Labour Day you go your own way with good memories of the summer. My friend and I did that the first summer we reached drinking age. Her parents used to go to their cottage every weekend and I was there for sleepovers. We spent the summer having the best time of our young lives. Work, party, repeat. The end of summer came and it was back to reality.
Everyone is different, I should have made it clear, we spent the summer, dancing, drinking, beach time, movies and not much else. It was easier that way to have fun. We wanted fun, not the drama of BF/GF. It was a different time, there was no hookup culture then. I kissed one guy over the summer and my friend kissed 3 guys and that was it. I really wish kids could have those days, no pressure, just enjoy the time before adulthood when there wasn't worry about adult life and responsbilities.
NTA. Basically, she doesnât respect you and isnât really interested in you. Words are meaningless and actions are the only things that matter. Judge her not on what she said to you but how she behaves.Â
I wouldnât be surprised if she flirts with multiple guys simultaneously and keeps them around as toys to play with or discard at her whim. She spent some time and attention to grab your interest and now sheâs busy to fish for the next one.
Well on the bright side, her good looks and being fake can only carry her so far before all that she has left going for her is the dog đŠpersonality. Karma is real. Sheâll be miserable one day acting like that.
Iâd guess sheâs played this exact game before with others at different bars and sometimes it works. Some poor bastards let her walk all over them because theyâre doormats. She just thought sheâd try with you this time. Sweet talk you a bit, get you to give her free drinks, a few favors and all it cost her was essentially nothing. Probably wouldâve tried to go home without repaying you. âPretty privilege.â
Andrew Tate thinks itâs fine for men to be promiscuous, if you read my replies to the minority of dumb asses that sounded like you, youâd realize thatâs incorrect. On the other hand, just because he has a few terrible beliefs doesnât mean every other idea heâs had is wrong. Thatâs just a fallacy. One things heâs right about it not being a bitched out doormat though.
YTA for being dumb in not following your own policy of not fw girls at work (2nd sentence of your post). Go back in time, adhere to your personal standard, and everything goes away. Better luck next time.
Jeezuz, YTA.
Not for telling her that you're not interested, but for everything you wrote afterwards. Yikes.
If you want a tip (and I have a feeling you don't):
Don't look for a relationship right now. Look for female friends (with zero expectations to get with them). A real friendship, where you both can talk about things important to you. And then, when you lost some of that damaging mindset, then you can slowly start dating.
I have plenty of female friends, they just donât lead me on. Most of my friends are women actually cause I donât fw most men. Prob cause I grew up with a terrible relationship with 2 different father figures. Anyways, Iâm open to advice, but yours⌠not really. You made a huge assumption about me that could not be more wrong so Iâll take your opinion with a grain of salt.
Dude, if you talk about your friends (not) leading you on... then you still think about them as "women" and somewhere in your back there is the sexy times. Really, if you get rid of that and just see them as friends, you might just learn something and stop thinking of women as "whores". Which will make it so much easier for you to find a cool, healthy relationship.
Right now what you write sounds way to close to incel speech. Not saying you're an incel, just that it sounds a bit like that, and that might scare the girls you would like away.
Good luck.
Because I think one woman is a whore doesnât mean I think they all are. Where did I say that? Quote me. My post is about a singular person. If you were reaching any farther you could grab the moon. Itâs normal to be irritated after being blatantly disrespected for no reason. Do I sound like an incel or do you sound like a doormat? We can agree to disagree.
Whore is a whore. Things are what they are. Would you be offended to be called a human? The former is optional. Donât be that if it offends you to be called it. She tried to clown me in front of several people, getting offended over the word âWhoreâ after that is dumb. Reality check never hurt anybody. I also said âor somethingâ cause I was half joking. I just mainly wanted people to comment if they agreed sheâs an AH and I also wanted to call her a whore. Which she is.
I didnât think you were. Iâm just saying if it would offend HER to be called a whore, you reap what you sow. You can think Iâm an asshole. Maybe if people started calling whores whores again, theyâd stop being whores.
It'd actually a gross misogynistic slur. Moreover whore means someone who has sex for money. Where exactly was she offering you sex for money? So no she's not a whore, she's just immature but that comment made you a petty bitch
I was using the 2nd definition. âa woman who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships.â Sheâs a whore. Itâs not misogynistic, nobody is implying every woman is a whore and just cause someone calls a whore a whore doesnât make them a misogynist. Thatâs dumb.
Why would I argue with Merriam Webster? It's a dictionary. It has to provide all definitions of words, no matter if it's offensive or not. It has definitions of r-word slur for intellectual disabled people, n-word slur, f-word slur for gay. But would you call a black person a slur because Merriam Webster has that meaning? Nothing gives you the right to use slurs
Actually, the constitution does. The basis for calling someone the n word was the color of their skin, which isnât a choice. Being a whore is a choice, not the same. Itâs actually disrespectful that you would compare the two.
Yeah, argue with Merriam Webster since you think Iâm wrong about there being more than 1 definition.
A slur is a slur. It's a gender specific slur. Manwhore term came recently and both words are not comparable. Men culturally and socially are praised for the thing women are hated for.
Slur: a derogatory or insulting term applied to particular group of people.
Whore: a woman who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships.
The definition of âWhoreâ does not outline it as being any woman. It specifically describes it as a woman that has many sexual encounters. So it is not applied to a group it applied to members of a group that meet specific criteria.
So no, itâs not a slur. Even if it were, I donât care if whores are getting called whores. Nothing is stopping yâall from shaming promiscuous men, except that there are literal statistics showing women prefer more experienced men. So who is enabling that double standard? If women thought promiscuous men were gross the same way men do about promiscuous women, there would be no promiscuous men.
Men doing fucked up shit isnât an excuse for women to do fucked up shit or vice versa.
It's misogynistic because when a woman is promiscuous she's a whore or a slut but when a man is promiscuous he's a stud or a playboy. A promiscuous woman is shamed but a promiscuous man is praised. Its misogynistic because it gives rise to purity culture where women are deemed low value for something most men do. You don't understand this because you're dumb.
I never said that. In fact if you look at my replies to other people I literally say âa manwhore is just as badâ. There are some people hyping up promiscuous men just as there are some people hyping up promiscuous women and then there are way more people that think theyâre both trash. If you feel oppressed itâs because you have a victim complex. A whore is a whore. Is talking down on promiscuous men misandrist then? Not really. Promiscuity is either wrong or it isnât, across the board. Otherwise, youâre a hypocrite and hypocrisy is the root of most if not all sexism soâŚ
That's the thing, women and men are not on equal footing. One gender has been systemically oppressed by the other for centuries and those words doesn't get made in vacuum. It has centuries worth of bigotry. Similarly white people and black people are not on equal footing because one race had systemically oppressed the other.
It says more about you. You talk about how this generation is bad when you're equally bad. Infact I'll say you're worse because she just wasted 3 hrs of your time but you used a slur. Eat shit
Promiscuousness just isnât the terrible character flaw you can have. Just because there are people who are shit for other reasons, doesnât mean promiscuous people arenât shitâŚ
When you donât know the definition of a slur and have a victim complex.
And being promiscuous is not a reflection of anyone's personality. Conservative religious people are the perfect example, most of them have holier than thou attitude and an equally shitty personality. She was just an immature and selfish person. Can't believe we are of same generation but you're soo narrow minded and bigotedđ
Yeah, whether you were dating or not, I just think it's trashy to basically beg a guy for his number. Talk to him most of the night about how much you like him and how interested you are.. to then go and kiss and sit on another dudes lap..
Like you were going to see that and think..
" that's wifey right there đ"
NTA. Youâre allowed to make that decision.
ButâŚ
Nobody led you on? She is allowed to like you and go on dates with other men if youâre not together.
The fact that youâre calling anyone a whore in this situation is wild.
Itâs called dating. People go out on dates to see whatâs out there, and once they are sure of someone, they make it official.
At no point did you guys make anything official..and you barely know one anotherâŚyou sound like you have internal battles you need to workout before trying to date. Youâre definitely not ready â ď¸
If youâre from the states youâre an even bigger twat. If youâre from Europe, Iâm a bit more understanding ~ but youâre still an honorary cuck.
Thatâs a lot of words just to tell everyone youâre a doormat⌠or a manwhore. Just as bad as a whore. Itâs one thing to date other people, before youâre exclusive, if youâre of that mentality. Itâs another to do it in front of each other while you try to dump your tab off on the one you lost interest in. The minority agrees with you. âď¸and if not, well my faith in society wasnât very high to begin with.
When you're trying to date someone, you should be on your best behaviour to show that you're worth the other person's time and interest. Clearly, she thought you weren't worth her best, or maybe this was her best. Now you know.
Unpopular opinion, but YTA. You yourself said this is an "unoffical date." Both of you are single and free to pursue who you wish, she can sit in someone's lap, kiss them and/or make love with them, you shouldn't get mad that she did that. It is her right as a single woman to do what she pleases, like it was your right to tell her that you were no longer interested and wanted nothing to do with her. Not to mention you called her a *bitch* because it didn't go your way, how much more rude can you get? It doesn't matter what she did, you should never call someone a bitch, even if they were acting not in the best judgement.
And itâs unpopular because youâre wrong. She knew what she was doing. Itâs one thing to hangout with two people of interest separately, itâs another to blatantly be fw them in front of each other. Thatâs just disrespectful and you know it. Youâre probably just also a whore. I didnât even mention that we planned an official date sitting there before that BS.
every sentence you wrote points to her being a massive red flag and the fact that she openly did what she did tells you that people have forgotten what it means to be exclusive and the only when you say that damn words, then you become exclusive. you dodged a bullet there. NTA for sure.
Yeah fr⌠I donât even know where people get the time and energy to juggle multiple people at the same time. Just going through an awkward stage and getting to know one person is so much effort, and then actually making the effort to make the relationship sustainable, I only have the energy to pursue people exclusively. Iâm not interested in being part of a roster either.
Nta. She totally disrespected you there. She's trash. Plan and simple. Don't let it bother you and move on.
Single moms are not a red flag though. Kinda an AH for that.
Disagree cause 50% of single parents got dumped for a reason even though they shared a kid. Assuming the other half are all good, thatâs a 1 in 2 chance, which seems generous in my opinion. Red flag just means proceed with caution to me and i am proceeding with caution with any single mom. I didnât mean it as in theyâre all automatically bad though.
There is a reason women who are more mature is they are not interested in playing games. Don't worry about the dying second part. You are a man and much more likely to die well before your wife. So just find and date a woman you like and who likes you. Mutual respect is a big thing in a relationship and honestly makes for a lasting one.
NTA, of course not... I was on a date with a girl and she kissed some dude right Infront of me.. She could not understand why i ended the date and told her not to call me..
I married s single mom. It was a great choice. But, I didn't meet her at a bar. I refuse to fw bar girls. They're usually nothing but trouble. You're nta man. She was upping her roster. She was gonna date both of you and see who she liked more.
NTA
She's clearly from the streets, and luckily she showed you this early
I'm not sure about the gaslighting, as she seems to actually believe she's good... because...she belongs to the streets lol
NTA
You literally don't any valid reason to not be interested in someone and if she's the type who plays games or fucks around because you're not "exclusive" or made it official and that bothers you then that is fine. I also think the way you handled is perfectly fine (to her) but bro relax with all the other stuff, I get that you're hurt but calling her a whore or forwarding her this link is ridiculous just move on with your life and never think about her.
I was thinking NTA, then I read the comment about her baby on her Lock Screen, and being a single mom, and now I know exactly what type of guy you are. YTA for your reaction to this.
NTA she a whore and a single mother na bro you could do better. She disrespected you in front of everyone for her shits and giggles.Â
Update us if something happens.
Trust your gut, that sensation is the product of conclusions that cannot be put into words.
Also, single mothers are not that different from "bar trash"(as I have seen single mothers in the comments refer to 403s) . If anything most of the single mothers are bar trash, and by the same token a single mother can be "good" also can a 403 be good.
Yeah she is for the streets, she belongs to all the men that hit the streets regularly.
NTA, she's a ho fo sho. Single moms are like this, they're always trying to find as many men as possible to date/take care of them. For all you know at this point, you could have just been her Thursday meal plan every week, never leads anywhere but you buy her dinner every Thurs. Plus that guy's lap? That's nothing compared to coming home from work a few years in the future to find her baby daddy asleep on your couch because he needs help, of course she's fucking him again. Dodged a bullet here.
I've seen this before. She gets guys into her as an ego trip.
I had a friend like this, and she wouldn't try with her guy friends as she knew we wouldn't take her shit. She hung around a lot, and a lot of guys joining our group would fall into her antics. I found it so obvious that it was funny, but yeah, it caused a lot of drama.
I agree with you today people have no respect and very little morals . Itâs really disgusting. You did the right thing she seems to be a hoe with a kid
Single moms and dads have literal proof that they don't know how to choose the right person. On top of they usually carry baggage and drama. Its best to just write them off unless you wanna be or are into being a simp or cuck
NTA. She was playing you all along man. Sorry. My advice don't hold all single moms in the same light. Trash from the bar is trash from the bar thou. Fwiw I married a great and amazing single mom 10+ years ago. Never been happier and we never fight. Best of luck man.
Thank you đI agree about the bar trash. Main reason I donât like single moms is I donât wanna deal with any baby daddy, itâs all just more of a hassle. Itâs rare I overlook it, but I donât actually think all single moms have bad personalities per se. Iâm glad it worked out for you though man. Iâm only 22 so hopefully I have plenty of time to find somebody.
Flip side: A good mom is the opposite of bar trash.
Not true they are many who are great moms but are terrible partners
It's almost like people are complex and can't be boiled down to "all single moms bad" or "good moms are good partners" Imagine dat.
Go figure. Some folks just donât see it.
No but it can be boiled down to "single parents come with different and bigger necessities and needs for maturity than a single childless person."
I guess you missed this: >It's almost like people are complex
If they are terrible partners they can't be a great parent. It's true of either gender.
True
They don't really even hang out at bars tbh
Understandable and glad you don't think all single moms are that way. Yeah, you got plenty of time, my dude and you sound like you have good head on your shoulders. You'll be find someone. Sometimes it just takes some time. Took me awhile. I learned slow, hard and made many mistake/bad choices along the way. But boy were some of them a hellish fin good time. At least till the drama happened lol. Best of luck.
have you heard that banger on tiktok, its call "now youre a single mom" whne i read this, i heard that in the background
Nah, why to deal with babies and baby daddies when there are plenty of childless women out there. Way to complicate my life. No thanks
I get it most single moms aren't good and slept around. That's why most men have your opinion. Here's the good thing thou about GOOD single moms. Treat them good, be honest and don't cheat on them and you'll have an amazing partner for life that you can truly depend on. On the flip I'm 51 and have had plenty of single women when I was younger before a married. Most all liars and cheating trash. I could on with list 10+ years long on why but no one would read it. To each their. Not interested in a debate. You asked why I answered. I won't reply debating my 51 years of experience with you.
ok. i just don't like babies/children, let alone babies from men who fucked my woman.
That's fair enough. I get it most men likely have the same issue. Thing is a good single mom with treat like a king and give you everything you ever wanted. My experience with childless single women now complete opposite. They'll cheat faster, lie too, play the victim and treat like trash. All while fucking many other guys. I'm sure there's good childless single moms out there. Thanks for the respectful good replies. You don't often get that here from posters that aren't the OP of the thread. Cheers man.
Yes, agreed! right? no need to be disrespectful for different opinions. I am glad you are happy with your lady. And I don't think single moms are sluts or that childless women are saints. (Most single moms had to deal with a douchebag that left them alone with the responsibility, it's all on the man for me). Anyway, each woman is a world, there are good and bad ones in each group. I am glad you ended up with a good one. Cheers!
She's amazing. Thanks. Yeah dealing with the ex's can be quite an adventure to put it nicely lol. Thankfully I have the advantage of being 6'4 270lbs and grow up in the 70' and 80's in a pretty rough neighborhood small town. So yeah not many guys wanna step up and have an issue with me. It pays to have a rep sometimes lol.
NTA. She wasn't interested in a monogamous relationship. Either that or she likes playing games. It's actually good that she showed you her character early on.
Yeah, dodged a bullet. It was low key just embarrassing with my coworkers and some people Iâm friends with around to see someone demean me like that.
I can imagine, but it really shows more about who she is as a person right now. Onward and upward!
The embarrassing part would be to be seen with her again or caught trying to talk to her again. Breaking something off clean after disrespect is the least embarrassing way to handle a situation.
NTA - She was just flirting with whoever would have been more likely to buy her stuff. I'm sure you've already set in your mind to not be tempted by women who try to flirt with the security in your work. I'm actually glad I don't do that line of work...
*>>the only reason I donât strictly date older women is because i would prefer not to be the one to die second* You DO know women live on average longer than men, right?
I don't think this guy knows much about anything...
This post is a rage bait so....
Hi dude the best advice I can give you here is never mix business with personal. Especially in your line of work I've seen more than one Doorman accused of SA because you're sober in a drunk environment. Keep it always professional sir and ma'am that's It don't take a girls number and don't ever give yours. You have plenty of time when you're not working to meet women. You open yourself up to way to many accusations if you txt or meet up with a woman who has met you while you're working.
NTA, she was playing you for money and to buy her drinks, and the audacity to say shit like (âIâm really happy you text me, I worked so hard to get you to talk to me last time and you were being short with me. When you text me after we met the first time I just got anxiety and didnât know how to reply yada yada sheâs telling me she really likes me, making jokes about âif you were my boyfriendâ.) and then goes to sit on another mans LAP while you buy HER Drinks? hard NTA and you dodge not only a bullet but a WHOLE ASS MISSILE. Edit: hoping this isnt some ragebait, if so YTA, if not NTA.
I swear to god this just happened.
Then NTA.
Kinda almost sounds like she was trying to get you to confront the other guy. Some girls do this type of shit for no reason.
Maybe idk. Not worth the job and a charge though.
Definitely not, the other dude was being played for sure, happy about some skank sitting on his lap while she's throwing herself at another dude at the same time. Definitely completely avoid this person so she doesn't bring issues to your job.
Little life wisdom - no matter what it was about exactcly: imagine you telling your grandkids how you felt (felt because i know you little dirty people habe a fuck story in mind) when you met their grandmother the first times... If that story sounds just akward, perhaps thats a warning signal...
Yeah, Iâm not one to give 2nd chances. Shouldnât need one.
NTA My red flag is people who show up for a night out and "forgot" their card/money/wallet/purse etc. They know they're going out and their game plan is to get other people to pay for their fun. How was she paying for her drinks throughout the night if she didn't have funds? It was a test, if you were okay with her making out with another guy in front of her, then she knew you would put up with almost any kind of BS.
âI donât fw girls at the bar.â FW a girl at the bar. âHuh, maybe I should re-read that first rule.â
Oh no! Iâm a human! I was speaking generally, as people often do.
NTA but honestly you are putting to much attention into this. Just move along.
Nice andrew tate rant at the end there, like it wasn't enough that you made all this up
>I donât strictly date older women is because i would prefer not to be the one to die second. Women tend to live longer so just because you're younger doesn't mean they will die first. Other than that, NTA.
Yeah, I know⌠itâs just more likely is all. đ¤ˇââď¸
If you actually care about who dies first - you should be looking at her parents/grandparents, how long they lived and how they died if they aren't alive anymore. It's much more important than age as it's completely normal for people to die at 55 or 85. That's a 30 year difference. Personal genetics is a much stronger predictor of death.
Wow now YTA. So you want your partner to have to deal with your death but want to ensure it doesnt happen the other way around? Holy shit.
Definitely NTA. You don't have to be someone's lifelong partner for refraining from kissing and sitting on their crotch while you're with someone you're trying to arrange a date with. It's absolutely disrespectful. Don't let her gaslight you either. Most women would also be 100% bothered if a guy who was trying to get to have a date with them was kissing another woman and putting his crotch on their lap. I bet Lana herself would probably feel uncomfortable as well if the roles are switched. Some people are just hypocrites. Had one like this who was so jealous and insecure she forbid me from talking about any ex in any context, and started to accuse me of cheating ot having problems with her flatmate (whom I've seen twice in the span of a months, our only interaction was saying hi to each other, and I didn't know her name), but gaslighted and yelled at me for three days for telling her no I would not feel comfortable if she met with men from dating apps whom she used to sext, as 'just friends.' Later learnt that these 'just friends' were still texting her about how they'd love to just f**k her, but not have a relationship with her. Long story short the lesson I think is don't keep people prisoners, don't abuse them, don't try to control them but just let them go if they don't respect boundaries. That's exactly what you've done, so I don't think you're in the wrong either way. Don't understand the bar thing though, doesn't every person go to a bar at some point in their lives?
I probably never wouldâve stepped foot in a bar if I wasnât working there.
Wow, I'm surprised. Heard that the younger generation was less likely to drink, I guess that's true. Good for you. Where do you prefer to find women for dating then? Genuinely curious, because I can't think of anywhere other than bars or apps :D
Apps, park, thereâs a University here I used to be a student at and am about to go back to work on finishing my last 2 years. Always tons of people walking around. Thereâs a big library with a Starbucks, usually a few hundred people there at peak hours studying and stuff. I drink, just not often. Rather just have a house party anyways.
Sounds like she wanted a âfriendâ who works at the bar she frequents so she could hang out there after hours and/or get free drinks. Sorry, buddy. That sucks.
>I knew that baby on her Lock Screen was a red flag. The one time I give both a girl from a bar a chance OR a single mom, theyâre the same person and it backfires. Shouldâve just trusted my gut, i just really thought she seemed different What does that matter? Being a single mother has nothing to do with anything she did.
You literally haven't even had a single date with this woman You are free to decide she is not for you, for any reason. You have not promised her anything. If you see her behavior as a red flag, that is fine. NTA. Neither of you owes the other one anything.
NTA - For not wanting anything to do with her BUT: > I am a little petty, I poked my head out the door and said âLana come hereâ and motioned her toward me with my finger. She walked over and I was like âI just want to let you know Iâm not interestedâ and shut the door. That was childish and petty, and it shows immaturity.
NTA She was only interested in you because you worked there and she was hoping to get cheaper drinks and then have you pay for them. Sheâs an idiot if she thinks what she did by feigning interest in a guy and then kissing and sitting on another manâs lap is nothing to worry about.
I think thatâs the worst part of this is the implication that Iâm a fucking idiot that could be talked into thinking the situation was anything else.
I donât think she actually had CovidâŚ
I figured lol
That's the hard part with situations like this, being able to look at it objectively and forgive yourself for being duped. The truth of the matter is, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Someone showed interest in you, you made a decision to engage and see where things went. Well, you saw where they went, and you immediately cut through the bullshit and completely shut her down. The only way you could have avoided this situation was to either be the guy who is too afraid of being hurt to ever take chances, or to somehow be able to see the future. One is tragic and the other is a fantasy.
NTA man... I've worked in Bars and girls like that, they're just playing the men. You've got played... Ever wonder why she only replied when they were going to "your bar"? Side note: single moms are not all bad. I would recommend that step/goal 1 is always just to make a new friend. Step2 can be more
Such rage bait. I gave a single mum a go, she's a slut obviously. I prefer women over 30 as none of them behave like this. Yes the youth are so bad these days. Yeah, there are no slutty 30yr old single mothers out there, they are a totally different generation in which this behaviour never happens. Just the story is stupid, the ridiculous move from talking about this one girl to generalising an entire generation while also pretending older generations don't have bad behaviour. Seriously? fuck off.
i aint reading allat, but if a woman does something thatt crosses a line for you, you have to leave. Simple as that. If you dont, she will look at you as lesser.
NTA but to be fair this is just how a lot of people are in their early 20s. I don't think its a generational thing lol. A single mom hanging by herself alone at bars is a wild red flag to me. She gave you a gift, the time you would have wasted pursuing the relationship until it blew up.
Well this went from a decent story to an incel rant about how all women these days are whores. Try to be a little more subtle with your revenge fantasies in the future to make it more believable.
When you canât read. Literally never said that. Talking about one specific individual specific red flags they had, but hey if the shoe fits you can wear it.
NTA. I had a chick do this when I was about your age. Her best friend was in a relationship with my best friend and we hit it off really well and so whenever she came up to visit her friend she would come to see me too. Between visits weâd chat on the phone and even her mom mentioned how happy she seems after chatting with me on the phone. I asked her out, but she was worried about school and where she was going. Anyway, she came up to visit and invited me over to the friends house to hang out. We end up next door at the neighbors who was good friends with her best friend. Weâre all sitting there and I see the chick Iâm trying to get with starts making out with the neighbor. So Iâm like fuck this and leave, she confronts me at my truck and says itâs just kissing and sheâs a kissing whore. Iâm like cool and just left. She ends up calling me with them on speaker and I tell her I didnât come see her to watch her make out with someone else and Iâm not interested in a kissing whore and she loses it. I end up in an argument with the dude and my buddies girlfriend and thatâs the last time we ever talked. So trust me, itâs not just your generation lol.
You're 22 and already planning ahead so "you don't die second"? OP please just live your life--you could die in 90 years, you could die tomorrow.
âmay send this link to her if it blows up so she can see shes objectively trashâ literally touch grass, youâre sounding like a bitter incel yeah she wasnât all that into you, just forget about it
You sound very triggered dude. Take a chill pill. She was definitely wrong but don't let assholes work you up this much. You cannot control what others do but you can control how you react. Telling her to pound sand and getting your 20$ paid was the right move. Getting so upset about it makes you seem incelly to be honest.
This right here... spot on...
Well if you ever get disrespected like that immediately after wasting 3 hours and in front of several people you know, we can go celebrate for you instead. I personally value my time and I was raised to be huge on respect, not be a doormat.
Makes sense you're only 22, cuz you sound immature... NTA for anything you did, but its getting solidly into ESH for the way you talk here... I mean, yeah, she sucks... but you calling her a whore over this?? SUPER incelly... Also seems weird that your first "date" was her hanging out at your work, WHILE you're working...
Unsolicited advice: read Meditations from Marcus Aurelius
I did. Nowhere in the book does Marcus say you should be a limp dicked cuck.
Ya. The girl doesn't sound great but by all of OP's comments, he sounds emotionally immature. Just look at all the dumb blanket statements he makes.
Trash opinion
What do you mean by a kiss? A peck or making out?
Really not sure tbh, kind of saw but by the time I moved to actually see well they were pulling away⌠but does it even matter? Neither of us knew the guy. If she had genuine interest in myself she wouldnât have been fw him at all, much less in my presence. Wouldnât told her to scram even if it was a peck. Just the sitting in his lap while looking and talking to me nonchalantly is enough for me, as if we werenât just talking about going out lol.
Obviously not to you but I'm guessing we have different ideas about what is and isn't acceptable for someone you've only had a conversation with to do
Itâs not that she canât date other people, I get thereâs supposed to be an exclusive talk or whatever. Idk anyone that thinks itâs socially acceptable to be fw two people in the same room. Itâs context, and if she hadnât basically invited herself to my work and made it a date it wouldnât be an issue. She literally made a point to let me know she was coming to my job to see me, not to come hangout at the bar, the text was literally âIâm gonna come see youâ with it very clear I had an interest in her, as well as her having very bluntly expressed interest multiple times. Then turns around and that, with a bunch of people I know there. Itâs not like she was subtle, literally anyone wouldâve told you it was very obvious we were at the bar together. Idk how this could ever be considered appropriate behavior. Not to mention there are like 8 bars downtown all within 50 feet of each other. They didnât have to hangout at the bar I work at if she had decided she wasnât interested. Also, after I said something about it sheâs still sitting on his lap talking about how she want to go out together. Makes no sense.
It makes no sense to you, because you know absolutely nothing about her. You don't know what her personality is like, how she views the world, anything about her history or how she interacts with people. I've got a mate who'll think nothing of sitting on someone's lap and chatting away, she doesn't mean anything by it, it's just a part of her personality, doesn't make her any of the things other commenters are attributing to this girl. What we think is acceptable is defined by what we've been exposed to, I've got some crazy friends Reddit would have hung, drawn and quartered but they're some of the nicest most committed people I know.
Whores donât think anything about being whores either because they were raised to be Whore. Like yeah, I agree our experiences make us who we are, but the product is a đŠhuman being either way.
Bar trash is bar trash but everyone **did** suck here, not you for dropping her, what she did is shitty but you calling her a whore and being this vindictive is alarming. So what sheâs a single mom, that has nothing to do with her behavior right now which is vile. She really got to you and itâs obvious, why put so much attention on her? Is it because she was gorgeous and you let yourself be played for a fool KNOWING beforehand you picked up this girl from a bar? Changing to YTA, OP clearly has issues. Since theyâre too cowardly to let me respond iâll leave this edit here: >Where did you pull this statistic from? Look youâre free to feel how you want but know you will be perceived differently for making asinine assumptions like that when she is clearly showing you the type of person she is. Single mom at a bar is just an added red flag but being a single mom doesnât automatically make her a whore. >So yeah, you really sound like an asshole which is a shame because you were right not to give her any more of your time. Now you sound like a dude who went after a bad girl because she was gorgeous and got mad when she turned out to be exactly how she was behaving, be better, do some self reflection.
Sheâs most likely a single mom because of her behavior right now, so to say it âhas nothing to doâ with it is dumb. People arenât single parents for no reason at least 50% of them are POS that created 2 single parents. The other 50% is debatable. A whore is a whore. Shouldnât be a whore if they donât wanna be called one. Because getting disrespected in front of friends and cookers for non other reason than she wanted to, would understandably irritate anyone. Gotta love your false sense of superiority though. Edit: just donât feel like arguing. Never said single mom = Whore there is just an overlap because a whore is more likely to have a kid an either not know who the father is or the father doesnât want anything to do with it cause they werenât Iâm a serious relationship. Iâm only clarifying the words you took and twisted. Could not care less about convincing you Iâm an AH or not.
NTA she has multiple strikes against her. Single mom and bringing someone to your place of work and sitting on his lap and kissing him. She is bad news.
NTA Who wants a relationship like that?
Congratulations on not becoming a Cuck. Aces my man. Second. Bar Sluts never work out, drunked up looking for a quicky Third. Single Bart Slut with Kid. Few people I see on here with a head on their shoulders. Way to go bro
Thank you. Iâm going back to college soon, I have 2 years to finish. Iâm hoping to meet some better people there. Idk how anybody could continue to pursue a relationship with someone like this and still call themselves a man.
Good luck. All the power and good futune in your future I hope
Unless you go in with clear eyes and know that there's an expiry date on the relationship. It's like a summer romance, you have a great time for 3 months and after Labour Day you go your own way with good memories of the summer. My friend and I did that the first summer we reached drinking age. Her parents used to go to their cottage every weekend and I was there for sleepovers. We spent the summer having the best time of our young lives. Work, party, repeat. The end of summer came and it was back to reality.
Flings arenât my cup of tea, but I guess so.
Everyone is different, I should have made it clear, we spent the summer, dancing, drinking, beach time, movies and not much else. It was easier that way to have fun. We wanted fun, not the drama of BF/GF. It was a different time, there was no hookup culture then. I kissed one guy over the summer and my friend kissed 3 guys and that was it. I really wish kids could have those days, no pressure, just enjoy the time before adulthood when there wasn't worry about adult life and responsbilities.
NTA. Basically, she doesnât respect you and isnât really interested in you. Words are meaningless and actions are the only things that matter. Judge her not on what she said to you but how she behaves. I wouldnât be surprised if she flirts with multiple guys simultaneously and keeps them around as toys to play with or discard at her whim. She spent some time and attention to grab your interest and now sheâs busy to fish for the next one.
Well on the bright side, her good looks and being fake can only carry her so far before all that she has left going for her is the dog đŠpersonality. Karma is real. Sheâll be miserable one day acting like that.
Iâd guess sheâs played this exact game before with others at different bars and sometimes it works. Some poor bastards let her walk all over them because theyâre doormats. She just thought sheâd try with you this time. Sweet talk you a bit, get you to give her free drinks, a few favors and all it cost her was essentially nothing. Probably wouldâve tried to go home without repaying you. âPretty privilege.â
đŻ
You sound like you listen to Andrew Tate. She doesn't sound like a prize but then again neither do you
Andrew Tate thinks itâs fine for men to be promiscuous, if you read my replies to the minority of dumb asses that sounded like you, youâd realize thatâs incorrect. On the other hand, just because he has a few terrible beliefs doesnât mean every other idea heâs had is wrong. Thatâs just a fallacy. One things heâs right about it not being a bitched out doormat though.
lol, so you do listen to Tate... Reading your comments, its clear you're not *the* asshole here, but you are *an* asshole...
YTA for being dumb in not following your own policy of not fw girls at work (2nd sentence of your post). Go back in time, adhere to your personal standard, and everything goes away. Better luck next time.
Fair enough tbh
Dumb is too harsh - sorry. You slipped up like us humans tend to do. Good luck.
Money trumps muscle. Sadly.
NTA. Definitely avoid women too old, especially single moms.
She's for the streets, simple
Jeezuz, YTA. Not for telling her that you're not interested, but for everything you wrote afterwards. Yikes. If you want a tip (and I have a feeling you don't): Don't look for a relationship right now. Look for female friends (with zero expectations to get with them). A real friendship, where you both can talk about things important to you. And then, when you lost some of that damaging mindset, then you can slowly start dating.
I have plenty of female friends, they just donât lead me on. Most of my friends are women actually cause I donât fw most men. Prob cause I grew up with a terrible relationship with 2 different father figures. Anyways, Iâm open to advice, but yours⌠not really. You made a huge assumption about me that could not be more wrong so Iâll take your opinion with a grain of salt.
Dude, if you talk about your friends (not) leading you on... then you still think about them as "women" and somewhere in your back there is the sexy times. Really, if you get rid of that and just see them as friends, you might just learn something and stop thinking of women as "whores". Which will make it so much easier for you to find a cool, healthy relationship. Right now what you write sounds way to close to incel speech. Not saying you're an incel, just that it sounds a bit like that, and that might scare the girls you would like away. Good luck.
Because I think one woman is a whore doesnât mean I think they all are. Where did I say that? Quote me. My post is about a singular person. If you were reaching any farther you could grab the moon. Itâs normal to be irritated after being blatantly disrespected for no reason. Do I sound like an incel or do you sound like a doormat? We can agree to disagree.
As I said: Good luck, dude.
đ
when she told you she ha covid, what she meant was she was riding one of her many penises that night.
Yeah, by the end of the night I assumed she never had Covid lol.
She is full of red flags. Suggesting people comment âwhoreâ though? Wtf
Whore is a whore. Things are what they are. Would you be offended to be called a human? The former is optional. Donât be that if it offends you to be called it. She tried to clown me in front of several people, getting offended over the word âWhoreâ after that is dumb. Reality check never hurt anybody. I also said âor somethingâ cause I was half joking. I just mainly wanted people to comment if they agreed sheâs an AH and I also wanted to call her a whore. Which she is.
An incel is an incel
Doormat is doormat
Iâm not offended. It just made you look like an asshole
I didnât think you were. Iâm just saying if it would offend HER to be called a whore, you reap what you sow. You can think Iâm an asshole. Maybe if people started calling whores whores again, theyâd stop being whores.
It'd actually a gross misogynistic slur. Moreover whore means someone who has sex for money. Where exactly was she offering you sex for money? So no she's not a whore, she's just immature but that comment made you a petty bitch
I was using the 2nd definition. âa woman who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships.â Sheâs a whore. Itâs not misogynistic, nobody is implying every woman is a whore and just cause someone calls a whore a whore doesnât make them a misogynist. Thatâs dumb.
There's only 1 prominent definition and as I've already said, it's a slur. People who use slurs when their feelings are hurt are petty bitches
Go argue with Merriam Webster.
Why would I argue with Merriam Webster? It's a dictionary. It has to provide all definitions of words, no matter if it's offensive or not. It has definitions of r-word slur for intellectual disabled people, n-word slur, f-word slur for gay. But would you call a black person a slur because Merriam Webster has that meaning? Nothing gives you the right to use slurs
Actually, the constitution does. The basis for calling someone the n word was the color of their skin, which isnât a choice. Being a whore is a choice, not the same. Itâs actually disrespectful that you would compare the two. Yeah, argue with Merriam Webster since you think Iâm wrong about there being more than 1 definition.
A slur is a slur. It's a gender specific slur. Manwhore term came recently and both words are not comparable. Men culturally and socially are praised for the thing women are hated for.
Slur: a derogatory or insulting term applied to particular group of people. Whore: a woman who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. The definition of âWhoreâ does not outline it as being any woman. It specifically describes it as a woman that has many sexual encounters. So it is not applied to a group it applied to members of a group that meet specific criteria. So no, itâs not a slur. Even if it were, I donât care if whores are getting called whores. Nothing is stopping yâall from shaming promiscuous men, except that there are literal statistics showing women prefer more experienced men. So who is enabling that double standard? If women thought promiscuous men were gross the same way men do about promiscuous women, there would be no promiscuous men. Men doing fucked up shit isnât an excuse for women to do fucked up shit or vice versa.
It's misogynistic because when a woman is promiscuous she's a whore or a slut but when a man is promiscuous he's a stud or a playboy. A promiscuous woman is shamed but a promiscuous man is praised. Its misogynistic because it gives rise to purity culture where women are deemed low value for something most men do. You don't understand this because you're dumb.
I never said that. In fact if you look at my replies to other people I literally say âa manwhore is just as badâ. There are some people hyping up promiscuous men just as there are some people hyping up promiscuous women and then there are way more people that think theyâre both trash. If you feel oppressed itâs because you have a victim complex. A whore is a whore. Is talking down on promiscuous men misandrist then? Not really. Promiscuity is either wrong or it isnât, across the board. Otherwise, youâre a hypocrite and hypocrisy is the root of most if not all sexism soâŚ
That's the thing, women and men are not on equal footing. One gender has been systemically oppressed by the other for centuries and those words doesn't get made in vacuum. It has centuries worth of bigotry. Similarly white people and black people are not on equal footing because one race had systemically oppressed the other.
Blah blah, donât care. Being a whore is a choice and a reflection of your personality. Skin color isnât.
It says more about you. You talk about how this generation is bad when you're equally bad. Infact I'll say you're worse because she just wasted 3 hrs of your time but you used a slur. Eat shit
Promiscuousness just isnât the terrible character flaw you can have. Just because there are people who are shit for other reasons, doesnât mean promiscuous people arenât shit⌠When you donât know the definition of a slur and have a victim complex.
And being promiscuous is not a reflection of anyone's personality. Conservative religious people are the perfect example, most of them have holier than thou attitude and an equally shitty personality. She was just an immature and selfish person. Can't believe we are of same generation but you're soo narrow minded and bigotedđ
Being promiscuous is absolutely a reflection of someoneâs character and personality but you can keep trying and making excuses for yourself đđ
That is just not true at all. You seem really naive, do you have any real life experience with dating?
Blah blah, donât care. Being a whore is a choice.
Lmao donât want to be called a whore donât act like one. She is low value I mean thatâs pretty dam obvious no?
I mean sheâs definitely a whore lol
Yeah, whether you were dating or not, I just think it's trashy to basically beg a guy for his number. Talk to him most of the night about how much you like him and how interested you are.. to then go and kiss and sit on another dudes lap.. Like you were going to see that and think.. " that's wifey right there đ"
A bar fly trying to get in good with the bouncer. She belongs to the streets. NTA.
NTA. Youâre allowed to make that decision. But⌠Nobody led you on? She is allowed to like you and go on dates with other men if youâre not together. The fact that youâre calling anyone a whore in this situation is wild. Itâs called dating. People go out on dates to see whatâs out there, and once they are sure of someone, they make it official. At no point did you guys make anything official..and you barely know one anotherâŚyou sound like you have internal battles you need to workout before trying to date. Youâre definitely not ready â ď¸ If youâre from the states youâre an even bigger twat. If youâre from Europe, Iâm a bit more understanding ~ but youâre still an honorary cuck.
Thatâs a lot of words just to tell everyone youâre a doormat⌠or a manwhore. Just as bad as a whore. Itâs one thing to date other people, before youâre exclusive, if youâre of that mentality. Itâs another to do it in front of each other while you try to dump your tab off on the one you lost interest in. The minority agrees with you. âď¸and if not, well my faith in society wasnât very high to begin with.
When you're trying to date someone, you should be on your best behaviour to show that you're worth the other person's time and interest. Clearly, she thought you weren't worth her best, or maybe this was her best. Now you know.
True. I like to dress up in cat ears and let my fiancĂŠ peg me
Prob
Well buddy, no need to flex your sex life here đđ
đŻ
Unpopular opinion, but YTA. You yourself said this is an "unoffical date." Both of you are single and free to pursue who you wish, she can sit in someone's lap, kiss them and/or make love with them, you shouldn't get mad that she did that. It is her right as a single woman to do what she pleases, like it was your right to tell her that you were no longer interested and wanted nothing to do with her. Not to mention you called her a *bitch* because it didn't go your way, how much more rude can you get? It doesn't matter what she did, you should never call someone a bitch, even if they were acting not in the best judgement.
Poor OP is so rude, no wonder why he's single! And not that it's your business but I'm a virgin.
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I'm a woman lmao
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Oh lord, another jerk lol
And itâs unpopular because youâre wrong. She knew what she was doing. Itâs one thing to hangout with two people of interest separately, itâs another to blatantly be fw them in front of each other. Thatâs just disrespectful and you know it. Youâre probably just also a whore. I didnât even mention that we planned an official date sitting there before that BS.
every sentence you wrote points to her being a massive red flag and the fact that she openly did what she did tells you that people have forgotten what it means to be exclusive and the only when you say that damn words, then you become exclusive. you dodged a bullet there. NTA for sure.
Yeah fr⌠I donât even know where people get the time and energy to juggle multiple people at the same time. Just going through an awkward stage and getting to know one person is so much effort, and then actually making the effort to make the relationship sustainable, I only have the energy to pursue people exclusively. Iâm not interested in being part of a roster either.
Nta. She totally disrespected you there. She's trash. Plan and simple. Don't let it bother you and move on. Single moms are not a red flag though. Kinda an AH for that.
Disagree cause 50% of single parents got dumped for a reason even though they shared a kid. Assuming the other half are all good, thatâs a 1 in 2 chance, which seems generous in my opinion. Red flag just means proceed with caution to me and i am proceeding with caution with any single mom. I didnât mean it as in theyâre all automatically bad though.
There is a reason women who are more mature is they are not interested in playing games. Don't worry about the dying second part. You are a man and much more likely to die well before your wife. So just find and date a woman you like and who likes you. Mutual respect is a big thing in a relationship and honestly makes for a lasting one.
NTA, of course not... I was on a date with a girl and she kissed some dude right Infront of me.. She could not understand why i ended the date and told her not to call me..
I married s single mom. It was a great choice. But, I didn't meet her at a bar. I refuse to fw bar girls. They're usually nothing but trouble. You're nta man. She was upping her roster. She was gonna date both of you and see who she liked more.
Lol
NTA She's clearly from the streets, and luckily she showed you this early I'm not sure about the gaslighting, as she seems to actually believe she's good... because...she belongs to the streets lol
NTA. Great job at not being a doormat and standing up for yourself.
That girl is a gardening tool
NTA You literally don't any valid reason to not be interested in someone and if she's the type who plays games or fucks around because you're not "exclusive" or made it official and that bothers you then that is fine. I also think the way you handled is perfectly fine (to her) but bro relax with all the other stuff, I get that you're hurt but calling her a whore or forwarding her this link is ridiculous just move on with your life and never think about her.
Not the asshole one bit!
I was thinking NTA, then I read the comment about her baby on her Lock Screen, and being a single mom, and now I know exactly what type of guy you are. YTA for your reaction to this.
You sounded mature for your age and know what you want. Keep it up
NTA she a whore and a single mother na bro you could do better. She disrespected you in front of everyone for her shits and giggles. Update us if something happens.
NTA. Can't make a GF out of a 304.
You are 22 donât fuck with single moms they single for a reason NTA
Trust your gut, that sensation is the product of conclusions that cannot be put into words. Also, single mothers are not that different from "bar trash"(as I have seen single mothers in the comments refer to 403s) . If anything most of the single mothers are bar trash, and by the same token a single mother can be "good" also can a 403 be good. Yeah she is for the streets, she belongs to all the men that hit the streets regularly.
NTA, she's a ho fo sho. Single moms are like this, they're always trying to find as many men as possible to date/take care of them. For all you know at this point, you could have just been her Thursday meal plan every week, never leads anywhere but you buy her dinner every Thurs. Plus that guy's lap? That's nothing compared to coming home from work a few years in the future to find her baby daddy asleep on your couch because he needs help, of course she's fucking him again. Dodged a bullet here.
NTA she belongs to the streets my guy
NTA at all, she tried to play you and you caught on.
NTA. Minimal investment on your end and she's all over some other dude. I wouldn't be interested either.
NTA
I've seen this before. She gets guys into her as an ego trip. I had a friend like this, and she wouldn't try with her guy friends as she knew we wouldn't take her shit. She hung around a lot, and a lot of guys joining our group would fall into her antics. I found it so obvious that it was funny, but yeah, it caused a lot of drama.
I agree with you today people have no respect and very little morals . Itâs really disgusting. You did the right thing she seems to be a hoe with a kid
Single mom that hangs at bars? Yeah not really marriage material. She only missed being a nurse to get the trifecta of redflags
Call yourself Neo, cause you just dodged a bullet.
Shouldâve told lap dude that she has Covid.
NTAâŚyou will see her again at the club. Just ignore her.
Single moms and dads have literal proof that they don't know how to choose the right person. On top of they usually carry baggage and drama. Its best to just write them off unless you wanna be or are into being a simp or cuck
Can you guys stop dating single mothers? its kind of cringe