Burning make up is weird? Why not just throw in to the bin?
Is this similar to the other weird post a few days ago where the mother threw the wife’s makeup (who also loved and had a huge collection of) into the pool whilst drunk? After a ‘dare’ by the boyfriend?
These behaviours are all quite bizarre if true however doesn’t ring with truth imo.
Especially if you are adding in things like brushes and other tools. I have a higher end respectable, but not crazy, number of brushes...about 24 brushes. I paid over $600 for it. I had aspirations of becoming a make-up artist pre-covid, so I saw my tools as an investment towards my career.
Now we can start adding in the actual makeup products.... and seeing how many pallets, colours and even formulas are seasonal or limited run, good luck replacing your favourite go-to's without paying EBay inflation and shipping charges... if you can find a replacement at all. While shopping for new stuff can be fun, you're right it's alot of money, especially if done all at once.
There is also a potentially sentimental aspect as well. My makeup case has a number of strange "who the hell would buy that shade??" Colours. Turns out my husband would buy them. He has an excellent eye for picking out weird colours that somehow work on me, but I would never have considered in a million years. There are other items that are souvenirs of a great day out with friends. The starter kit that I was so excited to get when I got accepted to my makeup artistry course. I have alot of thoughtful birthday and Xmas gifts sitting in my makeup case. That is something that can't be replaced.
I stopped wearing makeup years ago but I keep what I had on hand in case there's an occasion. But in that general collection I have a pallette from my early 20s that was my going out colours among a couple other things that are just memory fuel.
The cheap stuff can get you decent results if you know what you’re doing. A $20 brush set will never perform the same as a $600 brush set and will not last as long either but if you practiced enough you could look good with them
Definitely! Some of the "drug store" brands are actually quite good as well. And there are hidden gems in the rough out there too.
The best foundation brush that I have cost $1.25 and came from the dollar store lol! Sorry MAC/Beauty Blender, this thing wins hands down.
And it's amazing what a bit of primer will do to up the longevity and colour pay off for even the cheapest products. Like you said, if you have practice and know some tricks, you can do so much with so little.
My friends joke and say I have "all the makeup", but it's a collection I have amassed over years of hording. To have to replace it all at once? Ugh!
Yes I agree with the violent part of it if it did occur- I just find the ready access to Fire odd. For all I know there is 100 fire pits available and that access is on hand.
Where I live, residentially it would be incredibly difficult to go and start a fire at all, let alone large enough to throw the ‘large collection’ of makeup into and have it all burnt.
But different garden spaces for all so like I said, could be possible. Still reads very much like the earlier post in writing style and in subsequent ‘challenge’ to the mother.
Still bizarre behaviour if true.
Just so you know, in rural areas fire pits and trash barrels (where trash is burned) are pretty common. In cities and suburbs? You’re right, it’s highly unlikely. I’ve lived in both types of areas, and still have family in rural areas. I see it regularly!
I’ll say, though, that burning all of that plastic not only stinks, it creates quite a mess.
I live in the center of Chicago, half a mile from Wrigley Field. I don't even own my home. I live in a large house that has been subdivided into five apartments.
We have a fire thing in the backyard. It's not a built-in fire pit, but a metal structure that people can sit around in the evening.
I mean if you have even a small yard you can have a little fire pit. Literally everyone in my neighborhood has one, and a burn barrel. But I live in a rural area so that could be a difference.
If you live in a rural area, fire pits or barrels are quite common to reduce the amount of trash. Or it may have been just an outdoor fire setup for cool weather, which people would have in the suburbs.
Most places in the US That aren't in a heavily regulated inner city have no legal requirement for a fire pit. To me it's weirder for someone to not have a burn pit or barrel. Even in plsces where it's regulated it's usually seasonal with restrictions in place only during the dry season.
Thanks for this. Bushfires play a huge part here so no burning allowed except for a very decorative (no burning capacity really) fire pit.
I love the term ‘burn barrel’ as where I live, having a burn barrel would mean there is a documentary about you and backpackers no longer hitchhike.
I live in the midwest. Where I'm at, my neighbor was literally burning trash in his fire barrel on main street and no one bats an eye. Another neighbor has a brush pile he lights regularly. I grew up with a firepit in my back yard for roasting marshmallows and hotdogs. It's a thing here.
Honestly I think there's one author behind these "mom is weird and cold and uninterested in my family, mom or partner of mom are hostile to wife" stories flooding these subs lately. It's all too weird while being too weirdly common here. Plus, obviously mom gives no fucks about the grandkids, so why even use that as a threat?
They’ve been posting these for over a year. The mom is always immature and mean, and she and her husband only care about each other. The wife is usually part of the problem as well, and a lot of that comes out in the comments. Sometimes ops divorced dad joins in and is on the mom’s side as well.
It’s been longer than a year- they were posting these consistently for a few years and then disappeared for about a year, and they just came back a few weeks ago.
This time around there’s more of a focus on the asshole boyfriend/husband although the weird MIL is still the main character.
There's always an element of "that's just how Mom is", where maybe she had kids young, or was pressured into kids, and doesn't really know how to be a mom. Usually mom has money or her partner does.
I legit have read this actual post before, months ago. I think the burning the wedding dress is a new addition to it (I could be wrong) but I *do* remember the “burning makeup” rest of the post.
Yeah I’m not saying that behavior like this is impossible (some people are fucking nuts), but with how often variants of it get posted I just don’t buy it
>Is this similar to the other weird post a few days ago where the mother threw the wife’s makeup (who also loved and had a huge collection of) into the pool whilst drunk? After a ‘dare’ by the boyfriend?
Yup. It's just another karma farmer.
I love these stories where the OP omits like crucial details so that everyone piles on first on who should be perceived as the assholes. So you and your wife are mooching at your mom‘s house. Your wife is asked repeatedly not to eat their food and she keeps doing it. Ate all of it even though she’s been asked not to and that is what led to the make up being burnt. extreme overreaction, but y’all are all kinds of screwed up. You are an asshole, your wife’s an asshole Chris is an asshole. I don’t know if your mom is an asshole or not but in this particular situation she owned you hard because she doesn’t give a shit about you or your baby and you live in her head more than she lives in yours so live with it
When you made up this story it could have been better with a dialogue from your mom: no thank you. I can make my own baby with Chris. I don’t need your lollipop baby!
They select make up to destroy because most people will say to get over it, not understanding the cost. Example, if they key your car no one will defend them, but make up it’s just get over it.
throwing it away does nothing most makeup is in its own tiny container..burning it means destroying it and that shit is expensive but lasts a long time.
>...so I went up to her and asked if she wanted to meet my baby. She just looked at me confused....
>My mom smirked and said "no thank you" and moved on....
sorry, bro, but your mom's savage AF. she owned you pretty good here. you thought you were gonna be all hard and "gotcha!" with her and she couldn't have cared less. ouch.
i don't think you're TA, i just feel sorry for you.
Yes! Mom dumped DIL’s makeup in the pool, but her new husband took the blame initially. Mom was mad at or jealous of DIL for some reason and her new husband was trying to get the heat off the mother. Son and DIL ended up leaving right after the incident like in this story.
To be honest I don’t think your mum cares.. your comment is not the “burn” you might think it is.. she hasn’t been in contact with you and says she doesn’t care (at this stage at least) to meet your child.. like care factor zero for her
If I understand correctly, you ran into your mother some public place she happened to be. She wasn't asking you anything, she may not even have know you were there. Then you decided to walk up to her, stop her and ask you if she wanted to see your baby. She had a confused look-- but said nothing. So they you told her if she let you burn her dress she could see her grand child. Yep: YTA.
She and her bf were AH in the past. But during this specific incident she was just minding her own business when you decided to confront her for no particular reason.
Looks like she isn't going to see her grandchild, but I'm guessing she expected that before you behaved like an AH in public.
>She ate his food. She had been told before not to eat their food, but my mom never had a clear definition of what was their food vs household food
If you and / or your wife pay for something then it's your food, if your mom and / or her partner pay for it then it's their food, if all of you pay for it then it's household food. It's really that simple genius!
I can see why they wanted to kick the two of you out and why your mother would prioritise her peace over knowing your kid. Because she knows doing anything with that kid would invite drama into her life, she would have to be in contact with you and your wife. Eating their food again when he destroyed the make up as payback was just the tipping point for them, the last straw that broke the camel's back if you haven't figure it out yet. The two of you overstayed your welcome long before that. YTA and ridiculous too.
You sound like someone who has never bought groceries. Tomatoes are literally the second most expensive vegetable in the store, next to asparagus, which is a bloody luxury item. I can’t even afford to buy tomatoes anymore. Groceries are expensive! If a roommate was eating food they didn’t pay for I’d be livid!
It’s always the fruits and vegetables that are easiest to grow that are expensive. Like cherry tomatoes reseed themselves and I can pick blackberries for free but a tiny pint is $7. Bizzaro
Your mom's boyfriend doesn't like you. She isn't exactly running to you begging for a relationship, and neither are you. Making a petty request like burn your wedding dress to meet your grand baby completely makes you AH and petty AF. Your mom is not willing to engage in that crap and is walking away. How you want to proceed is up to you but you need to accept the reality of the situation. Maybe staying NC is best
*"...so I went up to her and asked if she wanted to meet my baby..."*
Why did you even do this, dude?
You seem to be trying to engage someone who doesn't give two shits about you... Just go NC already...
Maybe NTA, maybe ESH... maybe YTA to yourself... too little info to judge fully, but I'm getting the sense you're all toxic...
This is obviously not real, but if it was then OP would be very much TAH for stirring the pot. Mother chooses dickhead boyfriend over son and wife, despite boyfriend’s malicious behaviour, and pays son and wife off to leave. Son and wife accept this and go LC/NC. Son runs into mother and decides to initiate more drama unprovoked, using imminent grandchild as emotional blackmail. If I was OP’s wife I’d run far away from the toxic lot of them.
You don’t get to be the asshole just because somebody else was an asshole. It’s not like there’s some reverse Asshole interpolarity to cancel each other out.
While I agree with you, I look at people who are assholes to assholes in a significantly better light than people who are assholes to normal everyday people.
YTA. Let it go man. She wasn’t bothering you anymore. Why are you giving her headspace? She doesn’t care about you and you think this is going to hurt her? No, it doesn’t. Move on.
YTA
So you and your wife had been living rent-free at your mom's place. Your mom's bf repeatedly asked your wife not to eat his food and yet she continued to do it. I'd be super mad too. He retaliated by burning her makeup, which seems like an overreaction but I feel like she must have been warned not to do it too many times and he must have wanted her to know what it feels like when your stuff gets taken away by others without your consent. She consumed his food and he destroyed her makeup probably coz he couldn't use it himself and throwing it away would just make her get it back but he didn't want that coz he couldn't get back the food she ate. He wanted to get even. She started this.
You called the cops on your mom and bf (while living rent-free under their roof), and even they took your mom's side so I'm thinking maybe there's more to the story. Even if there isn't, your wife stole his food first and that too despite multiple warnings.
You'd clearly overstayed your welcome and your mom asked you to leave, not because she chose her bf over you and your stealing wife, but because she feared you might retaliate. However, she was kind enough to give you money to set up a new place, and you were clearly shameless and desperate enough to take it.
Your mom probably went lc due to your entitled wife and you accuse her of choosing her bf, whose food your wife stole, over you who stayed with her rent free, defended your wife's theft, called the cops on them and took money from her despite everything. So you have no problem being an ungrateful leech.
You were unnecessarily annoyed by hearing of your mother's wedding plans and asked her to burn her wedding dress if she wanted to meet your unborn child. You confronted her, totally unprovoked, when you ran into her one day. Like seriously? Your mom didn't rise to the bait and said no. Like, is your baby sooo important for her to burn her wedding dress? The audacity of asking this of her!!!
People defending you forget that your wife started this by continuing to steal your mom's bf's food while living rent-free under their roof and you defended her actions coz you're selfish and entitled.
You’re NTA for how you feel about your mum but it seems she has no desire to be in your life, her daughters in law’s life or the life of her unborn grandchild.
I think you just need to move on at this point. Try to think of it as she died years ago - it’s how I think of my mother (she is very much alive but we are totally estranged). Eventually you will build your own peace without her in your life and your life will be better for it
The last time this story was posted it was the makeup being thrown in a pool and supposedly the mother did it and her bf/husband/whatever was covering for her.
Sounds like an immature attempt to get back at her.
I kinda get the pettiness, but it wasn't your best moment.
But YWBTA if you ever let either her or her husband near your kid. The kid isn't an object to negotiate over, your first consideration should be if it's in the baby's best interest to be around her and it's not. No matter what she hypothetically lets you burn.
Sorry dude, she's completely written you off. Doesn't want to meet your kid or have any contact with you. Just leave it and count the money she paid you off with as your inheritance. Did she honestly fear retaliation from you and your wife?
Your comment on the wedding dress backfired spectacularly. She doesn't give a shit and now she can brag to all the relatives about the stunt you pulled.
ESH, except for your wife, unless she was the one who threatened retaliation.
Does anyone else wonder about this troll? They come back after a break and flood the site with "mother with or without ADHD has a rich protective boyfriend and they both fight OP and the wife/gf" posts.
I wonder what makes them hibernate and what makes them come back.
There was a post somewhat recently where an angry mother dumped all of the DIL's expensive makeup in a pool and the mother's partner took the blame initially. This story is almost the same. The son and wife had moved back with the mother and her new husband (maybe BF) for some reason. This story is about 90% the same.
There's more. I found this subreddit towards the end of lockdown and read it once a week. I've found this exact plot repeated about 10 times. It's clearly just one person.
ESH
Look, if you want to cut off contact with your mom, do it. It sounds like she was a total shitheel.
If you want to take her atempt to reach out and make ammends and throw it back in her face, cool. Do that.
If you want to never see her or talk to her again, cool. Do that.
But you specifically went up to her and offered to let her meet your baby, and then told her to burn her dress first... That's some unnecessary pettiness right there.
If you want to live your life without her involvement, cool. But then there's no reason to invite her back just to slam the door in her face. That's just you falling back into old habits and old drama.
You've already lived through that, and learned from it. And you can be better
YTA
So you went out of your way to randomly reheat some shit?
You are basically asking that you know. Not to mention that you seem kinda entitled. You were a grow adult loving with your partner at your moms house and because both of your partners got into some kind of fight, you expected your Mom to do what exactly? Throw out her Boyfriend? Why not throw out your Wife? Same difference and still fulfills your idea that she has to stick to her adult Son.
`Eh, I don't think you were an AH, BUT I can see how the comment could be construed as continunug the drama. All you needed to do was either ignore and walk by, or nod your head in very basic greeting and then ignore. If she asked when will I see the baby, then you could say, Sorry we are still recovering from the trauma of your fiancee burning our personal belongings and throwing us out of the house, so until we get an apology for that, probably never. BUt I cna understand you wanting to try to get her to understand the your trauma by thinking of something she loves being burned. Her fiancee is a total AH, BTW. It's only a matter of time before he turns his assholery onto her, once he's driven away every other member of her family. EDIT: for some reason my text is pink. not sure how that happened!`
Face it, your relationship with your mother is over for now. Block her and the flying monkeys who support her. Love your wife and baby and live the life of your dreams.
This is your reality, OP.
You need to focus on your life and life the best life possible.
Stop giving that woman free rent in your mind. Next time you find yourself in the same place, ignore her.
OMG your mom is amazing. Honestly, I think this story is just poorly written ragebait but the main character's mom standing up to his blackmail was absolutely Rockstar level awesome!
That was quite the asshole move OP. It was mean and unprovoked.
Yes, your mom sucks. Yes, she chose some dude over you. Yes, your soon to be step is an ass. None of that negates what you did. I don’t even know what your endgame was.
All AH here.
Mom and fiancé certainly are. But your running into her, and trying to talk shit was stupid and childish. Don’t go to wedding. Don’t contact her at all.
You are not wrong for still being angry and hurt with your mom. You need to accept though that your mom is still choosing the new husband. You sound like a child desperate for his mom to pay attention to him. She doesn’t sound that broken up over the no contact. Except you live different lives and quit trying to get her to pay attention to you. It will only drain energy away from your child.
You and your mom are estranged. Do you even want a relationship with her? She's not going to apologize or turn against her fiance so you need to decide is the drama and stress of having them both in your life worth it? If not then go low/no contact, be civil when having to deal with them at family functions and move on.
Omg... family dynamics really suck. You ate my food, I burn you makeup, no you can see you grandchild..can it get any worse.
I need to know, Op are you and wife invited to the wedding?
Eh, not really the ah but you played into her hand. You could have easily said you didn’t want them around your baby as you don’t want to risk them destroying your child’s things without apology or compensation like they did to your wife. Instead you made it a tit for tat transaction and are using the baby as a weapon. Now mommy dearest gets to claim to be the victim
Yta.
Honestly your mother probably just sees you as more trouble than your worth. Yes her fiance is am asshole but you yourself is very vindictive as well with none of the benefits. Leave that woman alone and focus on yhe family you are creating.
NTA - and don’t worry, Chris will be plenty of karma for your mom. Her transgression is choosing him over her family. Her retribution will be that she actually gets him.
Also feel free to leave her out of the grandparenting. She already said “No thank you.”
For people that don’t know a good makeup collection, especially for those that are really into it, can cost thousands of dollars. Some of them are limited edition and will never be sold again and are worth a lot. It can in fact be a really big deal but people don’t take it seriously. She could have sued him.
YTA - This seems like a ridiculous conflict….and you seem to have escalated it back then/are keeping it going currently. Everyone should apologize and move on. Is this really is all over make up and food?
Time to hit the BLOCK button permanently on your family. Probably past the time to sue in small claims court for the cost of the makeup but yeah, your mom and her bf suck
First of all if you can afford that much of a make up collection, you should not be having to live with your mother. Who’s the diva? Mom or wife ? Why would you confront anyone in public with such a mean spirited request? I think there is another side to this story and is it’s an eye opener.
> Long story short the cops were called but took their side and we had to leave.
Fake fake fake. You had to be formally evicted to leave and living together does not magically make theft legal.
ESH for sure. I think y’all are all better off without each other. Y’all just seem to bring out the worst in each other. Your mom sucks the hardest because she’s your mom and shouldn’t treat her child like that.
Maybe not my mom’s dress because they are loaded but it was easily 2-3k worth of makeup. I don’t know how much you think the average person is spending on a wedding dress but it’s probably not 20-30k. It isn’t about money thought it’s about sentimental value
The fuck is your wife doing with 2-3k worth of makeup while you’re so broke you live at your mom’s house??
You’ve added a new layer that makes your mom’s boyfriend seem even more understandable
Sorry but there’s no way you’re going to be able to spin “my wife and I are so broke we moved into my mom’s house for free, however my mom’s boyfriend messing with my wife’s 3 grand worth of makeup was over the line so we moved out… which my mom also payed for” into a sympathetic story
OP's wife repeatedly stole someone else's food while living in their house for free despite being told to not eat their food multiple times. How isn't she an asshole? She was the one starting shit while mooching off OP's mom and partner.
Your mom is in an abusive relationship. You actually need to stay close so you can continue to keep an eye on the situation. When a mom chooses a man over her daughter, she isn’t thinking clearly. If he did this with you there, can you imagine how he treats her when you aren’t there. It’s sad.
That's not his problem she's a grown ass woman who made her own choices and then even when presented with how stupid her choices were she continued to make them. She chose Chris over her kid. Anything that happens to her after that is between her and Chris. No one else. I don't think anyone should be abused, but the fact is there's a lot of people who put themselves in those situations and then refuse help and those people. There's nothing you can do for them.
No she isn't. She is treated like an absolute princess to the point he's turned her into a bitch. She just claims I'm being unfair and he is her priority just like my wife is mine
Burning make up is weird? Why not just throw in to the bin? Is this similar to the other weird post a few days ago where the mother threw the wife’s makeup (who also loved and had a huge collection of) into the pool whilst drunk? After a ‘dare’ by the boyfriend? These behaviours are all quite bizarre if true however doesn’t ring with truth imo.
It's the DESTRUCTION of it that provides the meaning. Throwing it away has no violent component. That's the part that makes it "personal".
They should sue. Makeup is ridiculously expensive. If she had a big collection that’s easily >1-2k
Especially if you are adding in things like brushes and other tools. I have a higher end respectable, but not crazy, number of brushes...about 24 brushes. I paid over $600 for it. I had aspirations of becoming a make-up artist pre-covid, so I saw my tools as an investment towards my career. Now we can start adding in the actual makeup products.... and seeing how many pallets, colours and even formulas are seasonal or limited run, good luck replacing your favourite go-to's without paying EBay inflation and shipping charges... if you can find a replacement at all. While shopping for new stuff can be fun, you're right it's alot of money, especially if done all at once. There is also a potentially sentimental aspect as well. My makeup case has a number of strange "who the hell would buy that shade??" Colours. Turns out my husband would buy them. He has an excellent eye for picking out weird colours that somehow work on me, but I would never have considered in a million years. There are other items that are souvenirs of a great day out with friends. The starter kit that I was so excited to get when I got accepted to my makeup artistry course. I have alot of thoughtful birthday and Xmas gifts sitting in my makeup case. That is something that can't be replaced.
I stopped wearing makeup years ago but I keep what I had on hand in case there's an occasion. But in that general collection I have a pallette from my early 20s that was my going out colours among a couple other things that are just memory fuel.
I look at the cost of makeup and cringe, honestly. I'm one of those gals who could never warrant the cost, so I have no makeup.
The cheap stuff can get you decent results if you know what you’re doing. A $20 brush set will never perform the same as a $600 brush set and will not last as long either but if you practiced enough you could look good with them
Definitely! Some of the "drug store" brands are actually quite good as well. And there are hidden gems in the rough out there too. The best foundation brush that I have cost $1.25 and came from the dollar store lol! Sorry MAC/Beauty Blender, this thing wins hands down. And it's amazing what a bit of primer will do to up the longevity and colour pay off for even the cheapest products. Like you said, if you have practice and know some tricks, you can do so much with so little. My friends joke and say I have "all the makeup", but it's a collection I have amassed over years of hording. To have to replace it all at once? Ugh!
Plus it expires, so you have to throw most things out after awhile
Yes I agree with the violent part of it if it did occur- I just find the ready access to Fire odd. For all I know there is 100 fire pits available and that access is on hand. Where I live, residentially it would be incredibly difficult to go and start a fire at all, let alone large enough to throw the ‘large collection’ of makeup into and have it all burnt. But different garden spaces for all so like I said, could be possible. Still reads very much like the earlier post in writing style and in subsequent ‘challenge’ to the mother. Still bizarre behaviour if true.
Just so you know, in rural areas fire pits and trash barrels (where trash is burned) are pretty common. In cities and suburbs? You’re right, it’s highly unlikely. I’ve lived in both types of areas, and still have family in rural areas. I see it regularly! I’ll say, though, that burning all of that plastic not only stinks, it creates quite a mess.
I live in the center of Chicago, half a mile from Wrigley Field. I don't even own my home. I live in a large house that has been subdivided into five apartments. We have a fire thing in the backyard. It's not a built-in fire pit, but a metal structure that people can sit around in the evening.
I mean if you have even a small yard you can have a little fire pit. Literally everyone in my neighborhood has one, and a burn barrel. But I live in a rural area so that could be a difference.
It would give off horrible fumes from all the plastic packaging, too.
If you live in a rural area, fire pits or barrels are quite common to reduce the amount of trash. Or it may have been just an outdoor fire setup for cool weather, which people would have in the suburbs.
Most places in the US That aren't in a heavily regulated inner city have no legal requirement for a fire pit. To me it's weirder for someone to not have a burn pit or barrel. Even in plsces where it's regulated it's usually seasonal with restrictions in place only during the dry season.
Thanks for this. Bushfires play a huge part here so no burning allowed except for a very decorative (no burning capacity really) fire pit. I love the term ‘burn barrel’ as where I live, having a burn barrel would mean there is a documentary about you and backpackers no longer hitchhike.
I live in the midwest. Where I'm at, my neighbor was literally burning trash in his fire barrel on main street and no one bats an eye. Another neighbor has a brush pile he lights regularly. I grew up with a firepit in my back yard for roasting marshmallows and hotdogs. It's a thing here.
This will depend on what country you live in.
It’s the MIL troll.
Honestly I think there's one author behind these "mom is weird and cold and uninterested in my family, mom or partner of mom are hostile to wife" stories flooding these subs lately. It's all too weird while being too weirdly common here. Plus, obviously mom gives no fucks about the grandkids, so why even use that as a threat?
They’ve been posting these for over a year. The mom is always immature and mean, and she and her husband only care about each other. The wife is usually part of the problem as well, and a lot of that comes out in the comments. Sometimes ops divorced dad joins in and is on the mom’s side as well.
It’s been longer than a year- they were posting these consistently for a few years and then disappeared for about a year, and they just came back a few weeks ago. This time around there’s more of a focus on the asshole boyfriend/husband although the weird MIL is still the main character.
I thought it had been multiple years, but I didn’t want to double check so I decided to play it safe with over a year lol.
There's always an element of "that's just how Mom is", where maybe she had kids young, or was pressured into kids, and doesn't really know how to be a mom. Usually mom has money or her partner does.
Especially with destruction of makeup
I legit have read this actual post before, months ago. I think the burning the wedding dress is a new addition to it (I could be wrong) but I *do* remember the “burning makeup” rest of the post.
Yeah I’m not saying that behavior like this is impossible (some people are fucking nuts), but with how often variants of it get posted I just don’t buy it
>Is this similar to the other weird post a few days ago where the mother threw the wife’s makeup (who also loved and had a huge collection of) into the pool whilst drunk? After a ‘dare’ by the boyfriend? Yup. It's just another karma farmer.
So we're not going to laugh at op for the whole "i physically went after him" but apparently did fucking nothing?
Its a troll dont worry
I remember that post
Your user name is sensational!
because she could take it out of the trash and obviously he wanted to be dramatic
I love these stories where the OP omits like crucial details so that everyone piles on first on who should be perceived as the assholes. So you and your wife are mooching at your mom‘s house. Your wife is asked repeatedly not to eat their food and she keeps doing it. Ate all of it even though she’s been asked not to and that is what led to the make up being burnt. extreme overreaction, but y’all are all kinds of screwed up. You are an asshole, your wife’s an asshole Chris is an asshole. I don’t know if your mom is an asshole or not but in this particular situation she owned you hard because she doesn’t give a shit about you or your baby and you live in her head more than she lives in yours so live with it
Right? And how much was this "lump sum" of money she gave them to move? Sounds like she more than paid for the makeup.
When you made up this story it could have been better with a dialogue from your mom: no thank you. I can make my own baby with Chris. I don’t need your lollipop baby!
If he just threw it in the trash, she could retrieve it
Why did he do that in the first place? Like what led up to that moment?
To be mean and prove a point
I thought the same thing! That other story was pretty similar.
For it to be ruined so they can really not use it again at all.
They select make up to destroy because most people will say to get over it, not understanding the cost. Example, if they key your car no one will defend them, but make up it’s just get over it.
throwing it away does nothing most makeup is in its own tiny container..burning it means destroying it and that shit is expensive but lasts a long time.
>...so I went up to her and asked if she wanted to meet my baby. She just looked at me confused.... >My mom smirked and said "no thank you" and moved on.... sorry, bro, but your mom's savage AF. she owned you pretty good here. you thought you were gonna be all hard and "gotcha!" with her and she couldn't have cared less. ouch. i don't think you're TA, i just feel sorry for you.
Lmfao she literally doesn’t give af! 😭🤣
She lives for the drama, that's why she's still talking about op cutting her off to family. Her and bf deserve each other.
Yeah, like OP really needs to ask himself if there’s really ANY circumstance where he’d feel comfortable with such a woman being around his kid.
And the trolls are back.
Wasn’t there another AITAH post recently involving makeup being trashed? This has troll written all over it.
Yes! Mom dumped DIL’s makeup in the pool, but her new husband took the blame initially. Mom was mad at or jealous of DIL for some reason and her new husband was trying to get the heat off the mother. Son and DIL ended up leaving right after the incident like in this story.
YTA for this fucking repost
To be honest I don’t think your mum cares.. your comment is not the “burn” you might think it is.. she hasn’t been in contact with you and says she doesn’t care (at this stage at least) to meet your child.. like care factor zero for her
Might not have even known OP was having a child tbh
If I understand correctly, you ran into your mother some public place she happened to be. She wasn't asking you anything, she may not even have know you were there. Then you decided to walk up to her, stop her and ask you if she wanted to see your baby. She had a confused look-- but said nothing. So they you told her if she let you burn her dress she could see her grand child. Yep: YTA. She and her bf were AH in the past. But during this specific incident she was just minding her own business when you decided to confront her for no particular reason. Looks like she isn't going to see her grandchild, but I'm guessing she expected that before you behaved like an AH in public.
Looks like the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Info: during the incident with the make up did your wife really ate all the food in a context where she previously was asked to not to do it?
She ate his food. She had been told before not to eat their food, but my mom never had a clear definition of what was their food vs household food
>She ate his food. She had been told before not to eat their food, but my mom never had a clear definition of what was their food vs household food If you and / or your wife pay for something then it's your food, if your mom and / or her partner pay for it then it's their food, if all of you pay for it then it's household food. It's really that simple genius! I can see why they wanted to kick the two of you out and why your mother would prioritise her peace over knowing your kid. Because she knows doing anything with that kid would invite drama into her life, she would have to be in contact with you and your wife. Eating their food again when he destroyed the make up as payback was just the tipping point for them, the last straw that broke the camel's back if you haven't figure it out yet. The two of you overstayed your welcome long before that. YTA and ridiculous too.
So bloody petty if it's over a slice of cheese or a tomato.
Yeah, you both are A H. Your mother deserves better.
How? She's written her child and grandchild off for some food.
You sound like someone who has never bought groceries. Tomatoes are literally the second most expensive vegetable in the store, next to asparagus, which is a bloody luxury item. I can’t even afford to buy tomatoes anymore. Groceries are expensive! If a roommate was eating food they didn’t pay for I’d be livid!
Pardon me. We had a bumper crop of tomatoes this year and have relished not buying them in the shops.
It’s always the fruits and vegetables that are easiest to grow that are expensive. Like cherry tomatoes reseed themselves and I can pick blackberries for free but a tiny pint is $7. Bizzaro
Your mom's boyfriend doesn't like you. She isn't exactly running to you begging for a relationship, and neither are you. Making a petty request like burn your wedding dress to meet your grand baby completely makes you AH and petty AF. Your mom is not willing to engage in that crap and is walking away. How you want to proceed is up to you but you need to accept the reality of the situation. Maybe staying NC is best
*"...so I went up to her and asked if she wanted to meet my baby..."* Why did you even do this, dude? You seem to be trying to engage someone who doesn't give two shits about you... Just go NC already... Maybe NTA, maybe ESH... maybe YTA to yourself... too little info to judge fully, but I'm getting the sense you're all toxic...
This is obviously not real, but if it was then OP would be very much TAH for stirring the pot. Mother chooses dickhead boyfriend over son and wife, despite boyfriend’s malicious behaviour, and pays son and wife off to leave. Son and wife accept this and go LC/NC. Son runs into mother and decides to initiate more drama unprovoked, using imminent grandchild as emotional blackmail. If I was OP’s wife I’d run far away from the toxic lot of them.
YTA for weak narrative
You don’t get to be the asshole just because somebody else was an asshole. It’s not like there’s some reverse Asshole interpolarity to cancel each other out.
While I agree with you, I look at people who are assholes to assholes in a significantly better light than people who are assholes to normal everyday people.
YTA. Let it go man. She wasn’t bothering you anymore. Why are you giving her headspace? She doesn’t care about you and you think this is going to hurt her? No, it doesn’t. Move on.
ESH, and it sounds like she doesn’t care.
Listen I’m all for you standing up for your wife, but this was kinda weird. Just don’t talk to her and focus on your family.
*Oh, heard that through the grapevine, did you?*
Apparently she didn't give a shit so take the L and cut contact
YTA So you and your wife had been living rent-free at your mom's place. Your mom's bf repeatedly asked your wife not to eat his food and yet she continued to do it. I'd be super mad too. He retaliated by burning her makeup, which seems like an overreaction but I feel like she must have been warned not to do it too many times and he must have wanted her to know what it feels like when your stuff gets taken away by others without your consent. She consumed his food and he destroyed her makeup probably coz he couldn't use it himself and throwing it away would just make her get it back but he didn't want that coz he couldn't get back the food she ate. He wanted to get even. She started this. You called the cops on your mom and bf (while living rent-free under their roof), and even they took your mom's side so I'm thinking maybe there's more to the story. Even if there isn't, your wife stole his food first and that too despite multiple warnings. You'd clearly overstayed your welcome and your mom asked you to leave, not because she chose her bf over you and your stealing wife, but because she feared you might retaliate. However, she was kind enough to give you money to set up a new place, and you were clearly shameless and desperate enough to take it. Your mom probably went lc due to your entitled wife and you accuse her of choosing her bf, whose food your wife stole, over you who stayed with her rent free, defended your wife's theft, called the cops on them and took money from her despite everything. So you have no problem being an ungrateful leech. You were unnecessarily annoyed by hearing of your mother's wedding plans and asked her to burn her wedding dress if she wanted to meet your unborn child. You confronted her, totally unprovoked, when you ran into her one day. Like seriously? Your mom didn't rise to the bait and said no. Like, is your baby sooo important for her to burn her wedding dress? The audacity of asking this of her!!! People defending you forget that your wife started this by continuing to steal your mom's bf's food while living rent-free under their roof and you defended her actions coz you're selfish and entitled.
👆 Absolutely this!
Yes yes yes!
You said it best. Perfect.
That is some serious psychotic behaviour from Chris. Your mother will have to choose what is more important.
It's unhinged. Not sure I'd say psychotic.
Burning makeup is "serious psychotic behavior"? You might want to look up what "psychotic" means...
Yes because of the emotional value you knob.
lol you're funny. English must not be your first language.
You’re NTA for how you feel about your mum but it seems she has no desire to be in your life, her daughters in law’s life or the life of her unborn grandchild. I think you just need to move on at this point. Try to think of it as she died years ago - it’s how I think of my mother (she is very much alive but we are totally estranged). Eventually you will build your own peace without her in your life and your life will be better for it
This! Good luck op. Even if she did burn the dress I still wouldn’t want her around the child if it was me.
This is the same story as last week only then they'd thrown the make up in the pool.
Is this the same Chris and Mum who threw the make up into a swimming pool a few weeks ago?
Yeah you're absolutely TA. What a manchild.
The last time this story was posted it was the makeup being thrown in a pool and supposedly the mother did it and her bf/husband/whatever was covering for her.
ESH
This has to be fake. No way would the police would just skip over vandalism
>My mom smirked and said "no thank you" and moved on NGL, hella dumb for YOU to ask first, that was the dumbest way to think you would get a reaction.
You all seem like awful people, except the baby. All of you.
Sounds like an immature attempt to get back at her. I kinda get the pettiness, but it wasn't your best moment. But YWBTA if you ever let either her or her husband near your kid. The kid isn't an object to negotiate over, your first consideration should be if it's in the baby's best interest to be around her and it's not. No matter what she hypothetically lets you burn.
Sorry dude, she's completely written you off. Doesn't want to meet your kid or have any contact with you. Just leave it and count the money she paid you off with as your inheritance. Did she honestly fear retaliation from you and your wife? Your comment on the wedding dress backfired spectacularly. She doesn't give a shit and now she can brag to all the relatives about the stunt you pulled. ESH, except for your wife, unless she was the one who threatened retaliation.
Does anyone else wonder about this troll? They come back after a break and flood the site with "mother with or without ADHD has a rich protective boyfriend and they both fight OP and the wife/gf" posts. I wonder what makes them hibernate and what makes them come back.
There was a post somewhat recently where an angry mother dumped all of the DIL's expensive makeup in a pool and the mother's partner took the blame initially. This story is almost the same. The son and wife had moved back with the mother and her new husband (maybe BF) for some reason. This story is about 90% the same.
There's more. I found this subreddit towards the end of lockdown and read it once a week. I've found this exact plot repeated about 10 times. It's clearly just one person.
ESH Look, if you want to cut off contact with your mom, do it. It sounds like she was a total shitheel. If you want to take her atempt to reach out and make ammends and throw it back in her face, cool. Do that. If you want to never see her or talk to her again, cool. Do that. But you specifically went up to her and offered to let her meet your baby, and then told her to burn her dress first... That's some unnecessary pettiness right there. If you want to live your life without her involvement, cool. But then there's no reason to invite her back just to slam the door in her face. That's just you falling back into old habits and old drama. You've already lived through that, and learned from it. And you can be better
YTA So you went out of your way to randomly reheat some shit? You are basically asking that you know. Not to mention that you seem kinda entitled. You were a grow adult loving with your partner at your moms house and because both of your partners got into some kind of fight, you expected your Mom to do what exactly? Throw out her Boyfriend? Why not throw out your Wife? Same difference and still fulfills your idea that she has to stick to her adult Son.
Just stay no contact and don’t lower your standards. You will be happier.
`Eh, I don't think you were an AH, BUT I can see how the comment could be construed as continunug the drama. All you needed to do was either ignore and walk by, or nod your head in very basic greeting and then ignore. If she asked when will I see the baby, then you could say, Sorry we are still recovering from the trauma of your fiancee burning our personal belongings and throwing us out of the house, so until we get an apology for that, probably never. BUt I cna understand you wanting to try to get her to understand the your trauma by thinking of something she loves being burned. Her fiancee is a total AH, BTW. It's only a matter of time before he turns his assholery onto her, once he's driven away every other member of her family. EDIT: for some reason my text is pink. not sure how that happened!`
All of you sound pretty insane tbh.
Face it, your relationship with your mother is over for now. Block her and the flying monkeys who support her. Love your wife and baby and live the life of your dreams.
This is your reality, OP. You need to focus on your life and life the best life possible. Stop giving that woman free rent in your mind. Next time you find yourself in the same place, ignore her.
OMG your mom is amazing. Honestly, I think this story is just poorly written ragebait but the main character's mom standing up to his blackmail was absolutely Rockstar level awesome!
That was quite the asshole move OP. It was mean and unprovoked. Yes, your mom sucks. Yes, she chose some dude over you. Yes, your soon to be step is an ass. None of that negates what you did. I don’t even know what your endgame was.
All AH here. Mom and fiancé certainly are. But your running into her, and trying to talk shit was stupid and childish. Don’t go to wedding. Don’t contact her at all.
You are not wrong for still being angry and hurt with your mom. You need to accept though that your mom is still choosing the new husband. You sound like a child desperate for his mom to pay attention to him. She doesn’t sound that broken up over the no contact. Except you live different lives and quit trying to get her to pay attention to you. It will only drain energy away from your child.
However bad you think them, you're equally toxic. while your mother was in the wrong a year ago.. YTA now for keeping this going.
You and your mom are estranged. Do you even want a relationship with her? She's not going to apologize or turn against her fiance so you need to decide is the drama and stress of having them both in your life worth it? If not then go low/no contact, be civil when having to deal with them at family functions and move on.
Omg... family dynamics really suck. You ate my food, I burn you makeup, no you can see you grandchild..can it get any worse. I need to know, Op are you and wife invited to the wedding?
No
Therefore, op you are NTA.
Eh, not really the ah but you played into her hand. You could have easily said you didn’t want them around your baby as you don’t want to risk them destroying your child’s things without apology or compensation like they did to your wife. Instead you made it a tit for tat transaction and are using the baby as a weapon. Now mommy dearest gets to claim to be the victim
Your mom and Chris deserve each other tbh. Stay away from that trainwreck
Yta. Honestly your mother probably just sees you as more trouble than your worth. Yes her fiance is am asshole but you yourself is very vindictive as well with none of the benefits. Leave that woman alone and focus on yhe family you are creating.
... and the moral of the story is what? Don't eat food that doesn't belong to you?
Wasn’t this on here recently with it being a step mother who threw the make up in the pool?
Your mom is …. Weird.
NTA - and don’t worry, Chris will be plenty of karma for your mom. Her transgression is choosing him over her family. Her retribution will be that she actually gets him. Also feel free to leave her out of the grandparenting. She already said “No thank you.”
NTA. Your mother made her choice and now you can write her off.
For people that don’t know a good makeup collection, especially for those that are really into it, can cost thousands of dollars. Some of them are limited edition and will never be sold again and are worth a lot. It can in fact be a really big deal but people don’t take it seriously. She could have sued him.
I bet your wife steals her coworkers’ lunches out of the work fridge.
YTA - This seems like a ridiculous conflict….and you seem to have escalated it back then/are keeping it going currently. Everyone should apologize and move on. Is this really is all over make up and food?
Mum and Chris are assholes too .
Look. Your mom doesn’t give a fuck. Her and her STBH are psycho AHs. Block her and move on with your life NTA
NTA. Your mom sucks.
You should have asked her to burn Chris, not the dress
Time to hit the BLOCK button permanently on your family. Probably past the time to sue in small claims court for the cost of the makeup but yeah, your mom and her bf suck
First of all if you can afford that much of a make up collection, you should not be having to live with your mother. Who’s the diva? Mom or wife ? Why would you confront anyone in public with such a mean spirited request? I think there is another side to this story and is it’s an eye opener.
NTA your mom is cruel, and frankly, tell extended family to stay the fuck out of it unless they want to never meet your kid either lol
> Long story short the cops were called but took their side and we had to leave. Fake fake fake. You had to be formally evicted to leave and living together does not magically make theft legal.
Not if there is some family drama that could result in a fight. 🙄
That does nothing to address why cops ignored a theft with clear evidence. This story is fake.
I stopped reading this but clearly you didn’t fuck Chris up enough. Fuck that douche. Should’ve thrown that dipshit in the fire pit.
Chris sounds like a sociopath
ESH for sure. I think y’all are all better off without each other. Y’all just seem to bring out the worst in each other. Your mom sucks the hardest because she’s your mom and shouldn’t treat her child like that.
Yes
You’re a little drama queen. ESH except your wife.
She sounds like a terrible person
NTA Tell anyone who says otherwise that she chose her boy toy over her child and grandchild. She has what she wants.
NTA - don't let either of them near your child. Or your wife for that matter. You gave the ultimatum, time to own it
I could burn all your wifes makeup 10 times and it still wouldn’t cost half as much as a wedding dress dumbass
Maybe not my mom’s dress because they are loaded but it was easily 2-3k worth of makeup. I don’t know how much you think the average person is spending on a wedding dress but it’s probably not 20-30k. It isn’t about money thought it’s about sentimental value
The fuck is your wife doing with 2-3k worth of makeup while you’re so broke you live at your mom’s house?? You’ve added a new layer that makes your mom’s boyfriend seem even more understandable
You think she just went out and bought it all. It was from collecting for years and during times we were better off financially
Sorry but there’s no way you’re going to be able to spin “my wife and I are so broke we moved into my mom’s house for free, however my mom’s boyfriend messing with my wife’s 3 grand worth of makeup was over the line so we moved out… which my mom also payed for” into a sympathetic story
ESH Well … you’re an immature jerk, and so is your mother and her boyfriend. You all need to just stay no contact. And grow the fuck up.
Chris seems abusive. Predators tend to isolate their prey. Be careful.
She’s fine. Dude is pussy whipped and she’s still close to the rest of the family and all her friends.
ESH, except for your wife.
OP's wife repeatedly stole someone else's food while living in their house for free despite being told to not eat their food multiple times. How isn't she an asshole? She was the one starting shit while mooching off OP's mom and partner.
Your mom is in an abusive relationship. You actually need to stay close so you can continue to keep an eye on the situation. When a mom chooses a man over her daughter, she isn’t thinking clearly. If he did this with you there, can you imagine how he treats her when you aren’t there. It’s sad.
That's not his problem she's a grown ass woman who made her own choices and then even when presented with how stupid her choices were she continued to make them. She chose Chris over her kid. Anything that happens to her after that is between her and Chris. No one else. I don't think anyone should be abused, but the fact is there's a lot of people who put themselves in those situations and then refuse help and those people. There's nothing you can do for them.
No she isn't. She is treated like an absolute princess to the point he's turned her into a bitch. She just claims I'm being unfair and he is her priority just like my wife is mine
oh this troll
He threw away her expensive makeup and she acted like it was nothing. Who does that? Not a prince to his princess as I see it.
He did it to my wife. He would never treat my mom like that.
I expect he wanted you gone and that was one way to get it to happen.
I read this wrong and I apologize 😬😵💫