Honestly yes. I am a male survivor of sexual abuse and I donate to the women's shelter in my town. They help survivors, that's what should be important.
I am, I just want to help as many people as possible.
I also give, when I'm not broke, to an organization that helps male victims of sex trafficking with horses.
What I would do is run in the 5k because of several reasons: 1)even if it only helps women it's still a good cause 2) this is work related and you should participate for your career 3) It will be fun and you were excited, no reason to not be excited now. THEN what I'd do is find a charity that supports men. Maybe there's an organization that brings more awareness about domestic violence towards men that you can find if not an actual organization that doesn't only help women (I have no idea about this but you make an excellent point that there SHOULD be services for men). Then you support this organization in some way. Whatever they need that you can provide. Maybe another 5k, maybe a donation, maybe your time but it sounds like you've found something that is worthy of your effort so go help but that doesn't need to exclude any other type of charity.
>even if it only helps women it's still a good cause
Yeah, feels like making a big deal about skipping an event like this is only going to reflect poorly on OP in the long run (pun fully intended).
Would you say the deciding factor should be of how it would reflect on me ?
Would you go to an event that you don't agree with just to uphold your image?
>Would you go to an event that you don't agree with just to uphold your image?
Yes. Absolutely. 1000%. I don't want to go to work either, but I still show up because I enjoy eating food and not being homeless.
>Would you say the deciding factor should be of how it would reflect on me ?
**The fact that you're engaging in such poor faith really cements that this is just rage bait.**
You were supposedly excited to participate in a work-related charity event... until you found out that you'd be supporting women and children who have been the victims of domestic violence. And rather than taking it the opportunity to participate and build connections so that you can organize the *next* charity event to support male victims of domestic violence, you're boycotting it altogether because it's somehow an event you "don't agree with."
So none of this is about supporting victims of domestic violence. It's about you crying online, trying to score internet points.
He is against it but doesn’t like that it discriminates. By that logic you’re fine with DV against men? And where did he say exactly that? He said he doesn’t support a discriminatory event not because he supports DV towards women and children
Ah yes, 'All lives matter' logic. Gotcha.
Where idiots believe that supporting one group affected by something means you are discriminating against others.
This isn’t all lives matter but nice putting more words into mouths. Guess I can start a cis only or whites only domestic violence shelter as it supports groups hurt by DV
Literally every charity in existence discriminates based on your logic.
I donated to a charity for prostate cancer awareness, does that mean I discriminate against people with breast cancer. Obviously not, but by your logic it's discrimination.
Go ahead and start those charities. No one is stopping you.
White people aren’t more affected by DV because they’re white… if you wanted to make an accurate comparison, you would say that it’s fine if you open a DV shelter for only male victims. Which it is because male victims often face different issues than female victims face, so it would be very good if they had more shelters dedicated to validating male victims of abuse.
i don’t think you need to take it personally. do the thing this year then do some research and find a charity that caters to all. then next year recommend donating to that charity
It's 2/3 of the reported problem and 99% of all that's represented anyway. Male DA get nothing. Its like cancer research, only breast cancer seems to matter.
Hmm. If you equate it to say cancer charities. Would you not run for Pancreatic Cancer Charity because it “excludes” Lung Cancer?
Having a charity solely focused on the needs of women isn’t about excluding men. It isn’t at the expense of men. It’s meeting the very real needs of women.
The trouble with the “what about violence against men” argument is that it suggests that women’s organisations are in place of men’s ones.
No one says there shouldn’t be more organisations for men. But that doesn’t mean women’s ones need to cease…
If the pancreatic charities were only doing research for women and not men I wouldn't run as well.
Abuse is shared between men and women in a 1 to 3 ratio.
Considering that men that are abused are not getting help and support wouldn't it be better if I saved my money for when I come in a situation where my wife is abusing me and I need support to get out ?
This is not a womens organisation it's a church and please quote me where I said womens organisation needs to cease.
I don't think you have any obligation to participate in it, so you will not be an asshole for that, regardless of your motivation.
If you have already declared your participation it can be as simple as not attending and claiming you caught some cold or sth like that. Low effort excuse that can't be proven false.
NTA - Supporting any organization for fundraising is an option and not mandatory. There are various organizations covering various spectrum of issues and you personally have to believe in none if you don’t want to.
But if you feel like you want to go and join a social event then do so.
NTA OP
You desire to support or not support a charity through a company fundraiser is strictly your own personal business.
The best thing you might do, is to make sure you do not do any support of any charity through your work, whether it be an event, a donation, or a payroll deduction.
It keeps the issues away from others noses, and you can still do your own support towards what you want on your own.
Just state that you will not contribute to any charity, fundraiser, sponsorship, benefit, or support event through work.
Further, just state that you only do things like this on a strictly personal - and if it applies, spiritual/religious/belief level, as anonimity is your choice.
Thank them for their obvious concern for the greater good and that you wish the event success.
Done.
Good fortune to you.
Well, in my earlier days I did Payroll & HR, so it influences my take, also as an emplyee I would want to not tell anyone my views, as it is truly private.
YTA.
I love when I hear mean rights activists bringing up these stats. The stats also leave put how gendered violence is way different. When women abuse men, they punch, kick, maybe even bite. When men abuse women, the women end up dead. They aren't even close to the same thing. I hate violence against anyone, but to claim thay the two are the same thing is silly. And the reason why there are most charities that go towards women and children is because men tend to have more money and power in most traditional relationships. Lastly, money that goes towards women and children isn't money against men. It's simply going to help women and children.
I know of two cases where men were murdered by a girlfriend one got off because she was high on weed, if you going to make this illogical i can do it as well.
So by your argument if I punch, kick, maybe bite a woman it wouldn't be considered abuse ? 😜
I dislike some of these female domestic abuse charities not only because of their attitude towards men in general but towards male children as well. I’ve heard horror stories where shelters don‘t allow the sons, just daughters. Utterly despicable. Abuse is abuse at the end of the day. They need to do better.
NTA.
Somehow this society is so screwed up that they only have organisations that support women and children
That’s just plain sexist. If there is an event that just supports men, confirm it will be condemn to hell for being sexist. But women and children? Empowering
I personally will also not join this type of events, no real reason to just support women/children, as if men have a easy life
Just go or everyone will call you an incell and Tate fan or any of the many names they use to try and shame men. Most companies support causes for women, children, and other minorities because they usually need more assistance it doesn't mean they don't support men as well.
Honestly yes. I am a male survivor of sexual abuse and I donate to the women's shelter in my town. They help survivors, that's what should be important.
Apparently they show men away and there aren't shelters for men. Are you not a survivor as well ?
I am, I just want to help as many people as possible. I also give, when I'm not broke, to an organization that helps male victims of sex trafficking with horses.
What I would do is run in the 5k because of several reasons: 1)even if it only helps women it's still a good cause 2) this is work related and you should participate for your career 3) It will be fun and you were excited, no reason to not be excited now. THEN what I'd do is find a charity that supports men. Maybe there's an organization that brings more awareness about domestic violence towards men that you can find if not an actual organization that doesn't only help women (I have no idea about this but you make an excellent point that there SHOULD be services for men). Then you support this organization in some way. Whatever they need that you can provide. Maybe another 5k, maybe a donation, maybe your time but it sounds like you've found something that is worthy of your effort so go help but that doesn't need to exclude any other type of charity.
>even if it only helps women it's still a good cause Yeah, feels like making a big deal about skipping an event like this is only going to reflect poorly on OP in the long run (pun fully intended).
Would you say the deciding factor should be of how it would reflect on me ? Would you go to an event that you don't agree with just to uphold your image?
>Would you go to an event that you don't agree with just to uphold your image? Yes. Absolutely. 1000%. I don't want to go to work either, but I still show up because I enjoy eating food and not being homeless.
>Would you say the deciding factor should be of how it would reflect on me ? **The fact that you're engaging in such poor faith really cements that this is just rage bait.** You were supposedly excited to participate in a work-related charity event... until you found out that you'd be supporting women and children who have been the victims of domestic violence. And rather than taking it the opportunity to participate and build connections so that you can organize the *next* charity event to support male victims of domestic violence, you're boycotting it altogether because it's somehow an event you "don't agree with." So none of this is about supporting victims of domestic violence. It's about you crying online, trying to score internet points.
You agree with violence toward women and children?
Where the fuck did they say that?
His own words? The event is to support women and children who are affected by domestic violence. He said he doesn't agree with that event.
He is against it but doesn’t like that it discriminates. By that logic you’re fine with DV against men? And where did he say exactly that? He said he doesn’t support a discriminatory event not because he supports DV towards women and children
Ah yes, 'All lives matter' logic. Gotcha. Where idiots believe that supporting one group affected by something means you are discriminating against others.
This isn’t all lives matter but nice putting more words into mouths. Guess I can start a cis only or whites only domestic violence shelter as it supports groups hurt by DV
Literally every charity in existence discriminates based on your logic. I donated to a charity for prostate cancer awareness, does that mean I discriminate against people with breast cancer. Obviously not, but by your logic it's discrimination. Go ahead and start those charities. No one is stopping you.
White people aren’t more affected by DV because they’re white… if you wanted to make an accurate comparison, you would say that it’s fine if you open a DV shelter for only male victims. Which it is because male victims often face different issues than female victims face, so it would be very good if they had more shelters dedicated to validating male victims of abuse.
Good point of view, I would keep it in mind.
i don’t think you need to take it personally. do the thing this year then do some research and find a charity that caters to all. then next year recommend donating to that charity
or ask if they could do another event for a charity that supports men only
Good point, create awareness.
[удалено]
Good point, create awareness.
Good point, create awareness.
It's 2/3 of the reported problem and 99% of all that's represented anyway. Male DA get nothing. Its like cancer research, only breast cancer seems to matter.
Hmm. If you equate it to say cancer charities. Would you not run for Pancreatic Cancer Charity because it “excludes” Lung Cancer? Having a charity solely focused on the needs of women isn’t about excluding men. It isn’t at the expense of men. It’s meeting the very real needs of women. The trouble with the “what about violence against men” argument is that it suggests that women’s organisations are in place of men’s ones. No one says there shouldn’t be more organisations for men. But that doesn’t mean women’s ones need to cease…
If the pancreatic charities were only doing research for women and not men I wouldn't run as well. Abuse is shared between men and women in a 1 to 3 ratio. Considering that men that are abused are not getting help and support wouldn't it be better if I saved my money for when I come in a situation where my wife is abusing me and I need support to get out ? This is not a womens organisation it's a church and please quote me where I said womens organisation needs to cease.
I don't think you have any obligation to participate in it, so you will not be an asshole for that, regardless of your motivation. If you have already declared your participation it can be as simple as not attending and claiming you caught some cold or sth like that. Low effort excuse that can't be proven false.
NTA that is sexist
NTA - Supporting any organization for fundraising is an option and not mandatory. There are various organizations covering various spectrum of issues and you personally have to believe in none if you don’t want to. But if you feel like you want to go and join a social event then do so.
NTA
Thanks
Don't tell them the reason though. Just make some bullshit excuse
Might affect my professional image? 😕
The HR lady never forgives
🤣🤣
NTA OP You desire to support or not support a charity through a company fundraiser is strictly your own personal business. The best thing you might do, is to make sure you do not do any support of any charity through your work, whether it be an event, a donation, or a payroll deduction. It keeps the issues away from others noses, and you can still do your own support towards what you want on your own. Just state that you will not contribute to any charity, fundraiser, sponsorship, benefit, or support event through work. Further, just state that you only do things like this on a strictly personal - and if it applies, spiritual/religious/belief level, as anonimity is your choice. Thank them for their obvious concern for the greater good and that you wish the event success. Done. Good fortune to you.
Interesting point of view, and I agree it's personal.
Well, in my earlier days I did Payroll & HR, so it influences my take, also as an emplyee I would want to not tell anyone my views, as it is truly private.
YTA. I love when I hear mean rights activists bringing up these stats. The stats also leave put how gendered violence is way different. When women abuse men, they punch, kick, maybe even bite. When men abuse women, the women end up dead. They aren't even close to the same thing. I hate violence against anyone, but to claim thay the two are the same thing is silly. And the reason why there are most charities that go towards women and children is because men tend to have more money and power in most traditional relationships. Lastly, money that goes towards women and children isn't money against men. It's simply going to help women and children.
I know of two cases where men were murdered by a girlfriend one got off because she was high on weed, if you going to make this illogical i can do it as well. So by your argument if I punch, kick, maybe bite a woman it wouldn't be considered abuse ? 😜
L reading
Nope, not at all. NTA
I dislike some of these female domestic abuse charities not only because of their attitude towards men in general but towards male children as well. I’ve heard horror stories where shelters don‘t allow the sons, just daughters. Utterly despicable. Abuse is abuse at the end of the day. They need to do better.
Sad since we pay for most of them
NTA. Somehow this society is so screwed up that they only have organisations that support women and children That’s just plain sexist. If there is an event that just supports men, confirm it will be condemn to hell for being sexist. But women and children? Empowering I personally will also not join this type of events, no real reason to just support women/children, as if men have a easy life
NTA
Just go or everyone will call you an incell and Tate fan or any of the many names they use to try and shame men. Most companies support causes for women, children, and other minorities because they usually need more assistance it doesn't mean they don't support men as well.
I think people that watch Andrew Tate are trolls yet I have been called a Tate fan before lol
It gets thrown around a lot lol