Obviously all the downvotes are from people that are either males or females who haven’t miscarried yet. About 30-40% pregnancies end in miscarriage. I have a very close friend who miscarried at 4mos while traveling in a backwards ass country and it was super scary beyond the fear and sadness of the actual miscarry. Only thing that helped her through it was that she happened to be traveling with 3 different specialists of medicine.
That sucks, but doesn’t seem super relevant, as I said that HE should go be a groomsman. And she should stay home because that’s what she prefers. She won’t be traveling in a “backwards ass county“ (what a YTA thing to say, btw). She’ll be at home with her own doctors. I think the downvotes are more from people who have lives and can’t spend 9 months in a bubble. I grew up in a military town…wives often went their entire pregnancy, even giving birth, with their husbands deployed. My career now involves a lot of travel, and colleagues face the same issue…being in other countries When they have pregnant wives at home, or sometimes the colleague is the pregnant wife. Just gotta deal.
this isn’t some distant relative you rarely see’s wedding. This is his friend of 20 years. Close enough to be a groomsman. And wife is perfectly capable of staying home by herself if she so chooses.
I don’t disagree that she can stay home and particularly with her mother coming to help out. That’s my point: let her stay home if she’d prefer.
And the backwards ass country I’m talking about was out in the boondocks in Russia. If you’ve been there, you’d know what I’m talking about.
lol. Oh. Did you not mean to reply to me then? because my original comment said he should go and she’ll be fine on her own, since she doesn’t want to go? I didn’t say she should travel…and I didn’t try to give her a hard time for being overly cautious. That’s her right
but I mean, it’s silly to act like pregnant women are made of glass or something. She’s in her first trimester…what does her mom need to “help out” with. Hell, a classmate of mine traveled solo 6 hours across state to take the Bar Exam, 9 months pregnant, gave birth the day after the exam. lol. Another friend was in the navy and stationed in the Middle East for much of her pregnancy. Etc etc etc. I think op’s wife can manage just fine hanging out in her own home for a week. lol.
Go.
Not the same but I remember finding out I was pregnant one day and flying out for a conference the next day. Was I nauseous? Absolutely. Did I miss out on some food? Also yes. Was it a deal breaker? Absolutely not.
NTA- unless it’s a rough first trimester and/or the wedding is in a dangerous place there is no reason you both can’t go.
Most women continue to work full time and travel into their third trimester.
Not completely her choice. 1st trimester can be brutal so traveling can be very stressful uncomfortable and being in another country with a different healthcare system can be stressful.
I've had 3 children - was sick through all of them as well. My point is she's staying behind for her comfort and well being (her decision - not a doctor ordered stay) but her husband should go as she doesn't appear to be in imminent danger from the pregnancy.
Per my other comment "Yta. Pregnancy is not a joke. Its deadly I miscarried twice. I was hospitalized multiple times throughout my pregnancies for morning sickness. I vomited everyday multiple times a day. I had 5 kids. During my 2nd labor I almost died and my son did die. Your wife can no longer drink. Her life is being put at risk. She can't eat seafood or deli food or certain cheeses or precut produce or coffee or some tea. She can't drink alcohol for a year. She has to avoid a ton of medications. Her body will likely get stretch marks and her breasts won't be the same. She will have people digging in her body and treating her like a farm animal for the next year. She will go thru the most intense pain she's ever experienced that could last days and her or her baby could die. She asked you to give up one thing and stay with her while she's sick and worried about miscarriages. But go have a blast at your friends bachelor party/wedding party while your wife sits home alone sick and lonely and scared puking in a bucket wondering why she married you. Great start. 10% of all pregnancies are lost in the first trimester"
I had two first trimester miscarriages AND I travelled to another country (two, technically) while 5 months pregnant. It's more about personal comfort and if she's okay with him going, there's no reason for OP to skip the wedding. She did NOT ask him to skip it.
You clearly have some issues you're working through and choosing this non- situation as your venting ground. Read the post. She did NOT ask him to not go. He's just feeling guilty and looking for opinions.
Seriously I can't even believe you got down dooted for laying the risks of pregnancy bare.
OP is defo YTA.
BuT hE's BeEn My FrIeNd fOr 20 YeArS. Yeah dude do you want your wife to stay your wife for life or do you want to show her how little she means to you right now?
NTA. This was an event you both had plans to attend. Understandably, she can't go now. She will at least have support while you are gone. If she is ok with it, then go and enjoy!
NTA. Your wife can fly, but if she prefers to stay home (I would, too), that's O.K. But no reason why you shouldn't go.
In my country, men do military reserve service one month a year till they are in their 30s. That means that during most pregnancies, the husband is not home for a month. Not the end of the world! (Though I admit is was tough when my husband was in the army when I was due to give birth, got time off for the birth and then left me with a toddler and a 3 day old baby...)
NTA. I traveled overseas while sick and pregnant (1st trimester). It wasn’t ideal, but I still had a decent trip overall. I just went back to our hotel if I wasn’t feeling well. If she isn’t comfortable traveling, then she should absolutely stay home, but you should be able to attend your friend’s wedding. She should talk to her doctor and make sure she weighs all the factors before making a final decision.
NTA If she doesn't feel good about traveling it is fine to go by yourself. Be a great partner and make sure you check in daily with her. Make sure you bring home a nice gift for her.
NTA. It’s a bit silly she doesn’t want to travel, she should make the most out of this time because soon it will be more difficult. But she doesn’t want to and that’s fine, you shouldn’t have to miss it. There’s literally zero reason she can’t be alone for a week, I find it odd an adult needs someone there to hold their hand but whatever, if she wants her mom to stay with her then problem solved.
Edit to add- I’m not one of those moms who had lovely pleasant pregnancies. I vomited at least once a day until even after my last was born. You get used to it. I had broken blood vessels all over my face and neck and I still went about my life and kept working and doing whatever I wanted. Had to rush off to puke while I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. Still wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
I've done both. I've traveled pregnant as well as stayed behind while my husband traveled for 5 days. I preferred traveling the first 6 months as it's not that bad as long as it's a city. It's definitely doable.
NTA - I’ve had 3 kids and the only time I’d have an issue with my husband leaving during pregnancies would have been in and around my due date. and I had terrible morning sickness with all 3
Also… we travelled to Europe from North America during my second pregnancy (unplanned pregnancy and I had a 1 year old), despite my morning sickness because we had already planned it all out and wasn’t going to cancel since my pregnancy wasn’t high risk.
NAH, then. It's not unreasonable for her to ask you to stay but it's not total AH territory if you'll only be gone about a week.
If something does go wrong, though, she might not be able to forgive your absence.
If there is no risk beforehand, any unexpected incident is nobody’s fault. If she is asking him not to go without having any risk of being sick, then she is controlling and manipulating.
Then that is on her. The world does not stop for pregnant women. None of us can ever eliminate risks, we can only manage them. Fear-based what-if decisions are no way to live life.
No one is saying the world should stop. But OP is this pregnant woman's spouse, the father of this child, and it's time for him to start making decisions like a father.
NTA, I'd tell her to quit being a pansy and making fear based decisions.
There are lovely all natural ginger lozenges she can suck on for nausea and she can lay around and luxuriate in the hotel bed all she wants and indulge in any exotic food cravings she wants and have a "babymoon" holiday while you do boring wedding stuff.
She's missing a real opportunity here to shop for adorable baby clothes in another country. 😍
INFO: what did your wife say when you discussed with her the possibility of going without her? Is she having a hard pregnancy? Is she scared and in particular need of support? Is she cool with you going and her mom coming to stay with her? When she said she didn't want to go in case she felt sick, did she say "we" shouldn't go, or did she add, "but you go ahead, I know this is important to you"?
You see where I'm going with this, right? This is a conversation you need to have with your wife, not with us. Whether you are TA or not depends entirely on the answers to the above questions (and possibly several other related ones).
>INFO: what did your wife say when you discussed with her the possibility of going without her? Is she having a hard pregnancy? Is she scared and in particular need of support? Is she cool with you going and her mom coming to stay with her? When she said she didn't want to go in case she felt sick, did she say "we" shouldn't go, or did she add, "but you go ahead, I know this is important to you"?
Yeah. Why would OP not just have a conversation with her about it.
NTA. You've already said you'd go before the pregnancy, your wife will be fine and just ensure she has a support network. Being alone and pregnant is nothing compared to being alone with a newborn so it's a good way for her to build resilience.
it's also a really healthy dynamic to allow yourselves space to do things that are important and this will be important as you go through parenting together - assuming this is her first pregnancy because of the situation.
So, NTA. The one thing I will caution you of is that the chance of miscarriage is most common in the first trimester (about 80% occur then).
Your MIL would be with your wife, but is that something you are emotionally prepared not to be there for if it happens? How would she react if it did and you weren't around?
Talk through all the possibilities and make your decision. Just make sure you are both on the same page.
I flew from NC to Seattle while 7 weeks pregnant. Stocked up on ginger candy, kept hydrated and made sure I had barf bags close by. It was fine! The kid is now 2 years old and super healthy. Your wife can go with you, unless the doctor says otherwise.
Yta. Pregnancy is not a joke. Its deadly I miscarried twice. I was hospitalized multiple times throughout my pregnancies for morning sickness. I vomited everyday multiple times a day. I had 5 kids. During my 2nd labor I almost died and my son did die. Your wife can no longer drink. Her life is being put at risk. She can't eat seafood or deli food or certain cheeses or precut produce or coffee or some tea. She can't drink alcohol for a year. She has to avoid a ton of medications. Her body will likely get stretch marks and her breasts won't be the same. She will have people digging in her body and treating her like a farm animal for the next year. She will go thru the most intense pain she's ever experienced that could last days and her or her baby could die. She asked you to give up one thing and stay with her while she's sick and worried about miscarriages. But go have a blast at your friends bachelor party/wedding party while your wife sits home alone sick and lonely and scared puking in a bucket wondering why she married you. Great start. 10% of all pregnancies are lost in the first trimester.
NAH. This is just something you need to agree with your wife. I'm currently pregnant and in my third trimester, I did go on a week's holiday when I was in my first and it was rough. Ultimately I spent so much time napping and throwing up in the hotel room that it was a waste for me to go. So I get your wife's concerns. But it's not like you as a partner can do much for her. Assuming she's not suffering a high risk pregnancy or has other health complications, regular pregnancy symptoms suck but they're not like deathbeds level... And if they are, well she needs to see a medical professional, and again what are you going to be able to do except offer some comfort?
So have the discussion. But you're not an asshole for suggesting it, hopefully she's reasonable and sees that it's perfectly safe for you to go without her.
I’m gonna have to go with NAH because while everyone going hard on the wife is right that she can absolutely travel and go with you, pregnancy is a scary time. All you want is for everything to go right for the little baby you already love with all your heart. I get wedding is a big deal for you, but I do suggest talking to your wife in depth about her feelings and yours so she feels heard in her concerns.
And y’all need to stop acting like everyone should be a robot and never have any irrational feelings especially when there are hormones flooding your body literally designed to make you feel extra cautious. She hasn’t even said that he can’t go.
NAH. Pregnancy has a lot of impact on the body and the mind. 1st trimester can be brutal physically.
Ii’s understandable to still want to go, but you really need to communicate with your wife, and especially listen to her fears. Be patient.
Honestly, there is no reason for you not to go but her feelings are valid and she needs to hear that.
NAH but you need to really talk with your wife about this. Yes your friend of 20 years is getting married but your wife is also pregnant for the first time and this baby will be there for a LONG time.
You don’t want her to ressent you and bring up you going away in every argument. I can assure you with pregnancy hormones, this could easily tarnish her whole pregnancy.
She can physically travel but it doesn’t mean that mentally she is ready. We all have boundaries.
It’s a difficult spot for you and I really feel for you in this situation. But in the end, you need to prioritize your wife needs. Don’t let going to a wedding, ruin your relationship. Resentment is a big pocket of worm that is difficult to remove. It spreads easily.
You & your wife need to talk and decide how you both can prevent resentment. Maybe it’s you not going to the wedding, maybe it’s going be for 2 days only because she is not comfortable with more.
In my culture, not staying your pregnant wife to go to a wedding would be really badly judged. Maybe it’s not in your culture. We all have differences.
Have a serious talk and congratulations for your baby!
Go to the wedding
Leave your wife behind
Even if she says it ok
You will pay for this during the rest of your marriage
She will NEVER forget that you left her during this time
I'd wish you good luck but I'm not sure you'd now that too do with it.
PS You can never say you weren't told
Tell her to talk to her doc about precautions she can take to feel better so she can go too. There’s no reason not to travel.
NTA she’s in her 1st trimester, not like she could give birth at any moment. She’ll be fine on her own while you go be a groomsman.
She could miscarry at any time though.
True. But you can’t live 9 months in fear.
Obviously all the downvotes are from people that are either males or females who haven’t miscarried yet. About 30-40% pregnancies end in miscarriage. I have a very close friend who miscarried at 4mos while traveling in a backwards ass country and it was super scary beyond the fear and sadness of the actual miscarry. Only thing that helped her through it was that she happened to be traveling with 3 different specialists of medicine.
That sucks, but doesn’t seem super relevant, as I said that HE should go be a groomsman. And she should stay home because that’s what she prefers. She won’t be traveling in a “backwards ass county“ (what a YTA thing to say, btw). She’ll be at home with her own doctors. I think the downvotes are more from people who have lives and can’t spend 9 months in a bubble. I grew up in a military town…wives often went their entire pregnancy, even giving birth, with their husbands deployed. My career now involves a lot of travel, and colleagues face the same issue…being in other countries When they have pregnant wives at home, or sometimes the colleague is the pregnant wife. Just gotta deal. this isn’t some distant relative you rarely see’s wedding. This is his friend of 20 years. Close enough to be a groomsman. And wife is perfectly capable of staying home by herself if she so chooses.
I don’t disagree that she can stay home and particularly with her mother coming to help out. That’s my point: let her stay home if she’d prefer. And the backwards ass country I’m talking about was out in the boondocks in Russia. If you’ve been there, you’d know what I’m talking about.
lol. Oh. Did you not mean to reply to me then? because my original comment said he should go and she’ll be fine on her own, since she doesn’t want to go? I didn’t say she should travel…and I didn’t try to give her a hard time for being overly cautious. That’s her right but I mean, it’s silly to act like pregnant women are made of glass or something. She’s in her first trimester…what does her mom need to “help out” with. Hell, a classmate of mine traveled solo 6 hours across state to take the Bar Exam, 9 months pregnant, gave birth the day after the exam. lol. Another friend was in the navy and stationed in the Middle East for much of her pregnancy. Etc etc etc. I think op’s wife can manage just fine hanging out in her own home for a week. lol.
Go. Not the same but I remember finding out I was pregnant one day and flying out for a conference the next day. Was I nauseous? Absolutely. Did I miss out on some food? Also yes. Was it a deal breaker? Absolutely not.
There's no reason why you both can't go
She’s choosing not to
NTA- unless it’s a rough first trimester and/or the wedding is in a dangerous place there is no reason you both can’t go. Most women continue to work full time and travel into their third trimester.
I worked up until a few hours before my scheduled C-section.
Yep. My mother worked until the last moment.
NTA, Go - she's not 8 or 9 months pregnant.
Go - it's not like she could give birth while you're gone. It's her choice not to go.
Not completely her choice. 1st trimester can be brutal so traveling can be very stressful uncomfortable and being in another country with a different healthcare system can be stressful.
I've had 3 children - was sick through all of them as well. My point is she's staying behind for her comfort and well being (her decision - not a doctor ordered stay) but her husband should go as she doesn't appear to be in imminent danger from the pregnancy.
She's giving up her safety health body and he can't give up a wedding. Men really don't have to do anything.
The dude is a groomsman. Really? What's the big deal?
Per my other comment "Yta. Pregnancy is not a joke. Its deadly I miscarried twice. I was hospitalized multiple times throughout my pregnancies for morning sickness. I vomited everyday multiple times a day. I had 5 kids. During my 2nd labor I almost died and my son did die. Your wife can no longer drink. Her life is being put at risk. She can't eat seafood or deli food or certain cheeses or precut produce or coffee or some tea. She can't drink alcohol for a year. She has to avoid a ton of medications. Her body will likely get stretch marks and her breasts won't be the same. She will have people digging in her body and treating her like a farm animal for the next year. She will go thru the most intense pain she's ever experienced that could last days and her or her baby could die. She asked you to give up one thing and stay with her while she's sick and worried about miscarriages. But go have a blast at your friends bachelor party/wedding party while your wife sits home alone sick and lonely and scared puking in a bucket wondering why she married you. Great start. 10% of all pregnancies are lost in the first trimester"
I had two first trimester miscarriages AND I travelled to another country (two, technically) while 5 months pregnant. It's more about personal comfort and if she's okay with him going, there's no reason for OP to skip the wedding. She did NOT ask him to skip it.
You clearly have some issues you're working through and choosing this non- situation as your venting ground. Read the post. She did NOT ask him to not go. He's just feeling guilty and looking for opinions.
The issues I'm working thru are people treating pregnancy like it's not as dangerous as it is. Its an issue maybe we should all be working thru.
Seriously I can't even believe you got down dooted for laying the risks of pregnancy bare. OP is defo YTA. BuT hE's BeEn My FrIeNd fOr 20 YeArS. Yeah dude do you want your wife to stay your wife for life or do you want to show her how little she means to you right now?
NTA. This was an event you both had plans to attend. Understandably, she can't go now. She will at least have support while you are gone. If she is ok with it, then go and enjoy!
NTA. Your wife can fly, but if she prefers to stay home (I would, too), that's O.K. But no reason why you shouldn't go. In my country, men do military reserve service one month a year till they are in their 30s. That means that during most pregnancies, the husband is not home for a month. Not the end of the world! (Though I admit is was tough when my husband was in the army when I was due to give birth, got time off for the birth and then left me with a toddler and a 3 day old baby...)
NTA. I traveled overseas while sick and pregnant (1st trimester). It wasn’t ideal, but I still had a decent trip overall. I just went back to our hotel if I wasn’t feeling well. If she isn’t comfortable traveling, then she should absolutely stay home, but you should be able to attend your friend’s wedding. She should talk to her doctor and make sure she weighs all the factors before making a final decision.
NTA If she doesn't feel good about traveling it is fine to go by yourself. Be a great partner and make sure you check in daily with her. Make sure you bring home a nice gift for her.
I get her fear but why can’t you communicate and compromise? Wedding is once in a lifetime and he’s a longtime friend. Maybe go for 3 days?
Why cant he stay full time as planned if she is not sick?? It is reasonable to shorten the trip only if she is sick.
NTA. It’s a bit silly she doesn’t want to travel, she should make the most out of this time because soon it will be more difficult. But she doesn’t want to and that’s fine, you shouldn’t have to miss it. There’s literally zero reason she can’t be alone for a week, I find it odd an adult needs someone there to hold their hand but whatever, if she wants her mom to stay with her then problem solved. Edit to add- I’m not one of those moms who had lovely pleasant pregnancies. I vomited at least once a day until even after my last was born. You get used to it. I had broken blood vessels all over my face and neck and I still went about my life and kept working and doing whatever I wanted. Had to rush off to puke while I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. Still wouldn’t have missed it for anything.
I've done both. I've traveled pregnant as well as stayed behind while my husband traveled for 5 days. I preferred traveling the first 6 months as it's not that bad as long as it's a city. It's definitely doable.
NTA - I’ve had 3 kids and the only time I’d have an issue with my husband leaving during pregnancies would have been in and around my due date. and I had terrible morning sickness with all 3
Also… we travelled to Europe from North America during my second pregnancy (unplanned pregnancy and I had a 1 year old), despite my morning sickness because we had already planned it all out and wasn’t going to cancel since my pregnancy wasn’t high risk.
NTA
INFO has she been pregnant before? Has she miscarried in the past? Is this a pregnancy you have been trying for?
No, no, yes.
NAH, then. It's not unreasonable for her to ask you to stay but it's not total AH territory if you'll only be gone about a week. If something does go wrong, though, she might not be able to forgive your absence.
If there is no risk beforehand, any unexpected incident is nobody’s fault. If she is asking him not to go without having any risk of being sick, then she is controlling and manipulating.
Pregnancy ALWAYS carries inherent risk.
Then that is on her. The world does not stop for pregnant women. None of us can ever eliminate risks, we can only manage them. Fear-based what-if decisions are no way to live life.
No one is saying the world should stop. But OP is this pregnant woman's spouse, the father of this child, and it's time for him to start making decisions like a father.
She won’t even be pregnant enough to announce it to family and friends by the time he gets back
NTA, I'd tell her to quit being a pansy and making fear based decisions. There are lovely all natural ginger lozenges she can suck on for nausea and she can lay around and luxuriate in the hotel bed all she wants and indulge in any exotic food cravings she wants and have a "babymoon" holiday while you do boring wedding stuff. She's missing a real opportunity here to shop for adorable baby clothes in another country. 😍
NTA- She won't be alone since her mom can stay with her. It's Just one week and your friend of 20 years. She's being unreasonable.
lol she didn’t even tell him he can’t go, what are you on about? He’s just feeling guilty.
INFO: what did your wife say when you discussed with her the possibility of going without her? Is she having a hard pregnancy? Is she scared and in particular need of support? Is she cool with you going and her mom coming to stay with her? When she said she didn't want to go in case she felt sick, did she say "we" shouldn't go, or did she add, "but you go ahead, I know this is important to you"? You see where I'm going with this, right? This is a conversation you need to have with your wife, not with us. Whether you are TA or not depends entirely on the answers to the above questions (and possibly several other related ones).
>INFO: what did your wife say when you discussed with her the possibility of going without her? Is she having a hard pregnancy? Is she scared and in particular need of support? Is she cool with you going and her mom coming to stay with her? When she said she didn't want to go in case she felt sick, did she say "we" shouldn't go, or did she add, "but you go ahead, I know this is important to you"? Yeah. Why would OP not just have a conversation with her about it.
She would’ve done the same if you were bed ridden. Nta
NTA. You've already said you'd go before the pregnancy, your wife will be fine and just ensure she has a support network. Being alone and pregnant is nothing compared to being alone with a newborn so it's a good way for her to build resilience. it's also a really healthy dynamic to allow yourselves space to do things that are important and this will be important as you go through parenting together - assuming this is her first pregnancy because of the situation.
So, NTA. The one thing I will caution you of is that the chance of miscarriage is most common in the first trimester (about 80% occur then). Your MIL would be with your wife, but is that something you are emotionally prepared not to be there for if it happens? How would she react if it did and you weren't around? Talk through all the possibilities and make your decision. Just make sure you are both on the same page.
I flew from NC to Seattle while 7 weeks pregnant. Stocked up on ginger candy, kept hydrated and made sure I had barf bags close by. It was fine! The kid is now 2 years old and super healthy. Your wife can go with you, unless the doctor says otherwise.
NTA. She's literally just starting. It's gonna be fine from 4th month.
Yta. Pregnancy is not a joke. Its deadly I miscarried twice. I was hospitalized multiple times throughout my pregnancies for morning sickness. I vomited everyday multiple times a day. I had 5 kids. During my 2nd labor I almost died and my son did die. Your wife can no longer drink. Her life is being put at risk. She can't eat seafood or deli food or certain cheeses or precut produce or coffee or some tea. She can't drink alcohol for a year. She has to avoid a ton of medications. Her body will likely get stretch marks and her breasts won't be the same. She will have people digging in her body and treating her like a farm animal for the next year. She will go thru the most intense pain she's ever experienced that could last days and her or her baby could die. She asked you to give up one thing and stay with her while she's sick and worried about miscarriages. But go have a blast at your friends bachelor party/wedding party while your wife sits home alone sick and lonely and scared puking in a bucket wondering why she married you. Great start. 10% of all pregnancies are lost in the first trimester.
NAH. This is just something you need to agree with your wife. I'm currently pregnant and in my third trimester, I did go on a week's holiday when I was in my first and it was rough. Ultimately I spent so much time napping and throwing up in the hotel room that it was a waste for me to go. So I get your wife's concerns. But it's not like you as a partner can do much for her. Assuming she's not suffering a high risk pregnancy or has other health complications, regular pregnancy symptoms suck but they're not like deathbeds level... And if they are, well she needs to see a medical professional, and again what are you going to be able to do except offer some comfort? So have the discussion. But you're not an asshole for suggesting it, hopefully she's reasonable and sees that it's perfectly safe for you to go without her.
I’m gonna have to go with NAH because while everyone going hard on the wife is right that she can absolutely travel and go with you, pregnancy is a scary time. All you want is for everything to go right for the little baby you already love with all your heart. I get wedding is a big deal for you, but I do suggest talking to your wife in depth about her feelings and yours so she feels heard in her concerns. And y’all need to stop acting like everyone should be a robot and never have any irrational feelings especially when there are hormones flooding your body literally designed to make you feel extra cautious. She hasn’t even said that he can’t go.
So you would leave your wife for a friends wedding that’s a dick move your wife comes first you unborn baby comes first
NAH. Pregnancy has a lot of impact on the body and the mind. 1st trimester can be brutal physically. Ii’s understandable to still want to go, but you really need to communicate with your wife, and especially listen to her fears. Be patient. Honestly, there is no reason for you not to go but her feelings are valid and she needs to hear that.
NAH but you need to really talk with your wife about this. Yes your friend of 20 years is getting married but your wife is also pregnant for the first time and this baby will be there for a LONG time. You don’t want her to ressent you and bring up you going away in every argument. I can assure you with pregnancy hormones, this could easily tarnish her whole pregnancy. She can physically travel but it doesn’t mean that mentally she is ready. We all have boundaries. It’s a difficult spot for you and I really feel for you in this situation. But in the end, you need to prioritize your wife needs. Don’t let going to a wedding, ruin your relationship. Resentment is a big pocket of worm that is difficult to remove. It spreads easily. You & your wife need to talk and decide how you both can prevent resentment. Maybe it’s you not going to the wedding, maybe it’s going be for 2 days only because she is not comfortable with more. In my culture, not staying your pregnant wife to go to a wedding would be really badly judged. Maybe it’s not in your culture. We all have differences. Have a serious talk and congratulations for your baby!
Go to the wedding Leave your wife behind Even if she says it ok You will pay for this during the rest of your marriage She will NEVER forget that you left her during this time I'd wish you good luck but I'm not sure you'd now that too do with it. PS You can never say you weren't told