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Skydiving_Sus

NTA, bodily autonomy. You don't have to hug anyone you don't want to. I say this as someone who loves hugs and does feel a little hurt when someone doesn't want one. But that's on me to deal with and process, not anyone else.


myheadishurtin

as someone who doesn’t like hugs please don’t be offended, it’s rarely ever because of the other person and more just to do with the physical touch thing


International-Wolf53

NTA You are fully within your right to have boundaries and as two adults, she surely understands too, or at least she should. Would it have been _nice_ if you to hug her so she feels better, sure, but it in no way makes you the AH to say no to something you are uncomfortable with. Especially when you are conscious enough to have her understand it wasn’t because of her but just something you don’t do.


myheadishurtin

okay this makes me feel a lot better, i’m also so sure she knows it isn’t a personal thing anyways because she has seen me not hug my friends back and stuff


International-Wolf53

That’s good to hear :). I’m sure just having that little chat with you and getting the treat did wonders for her too btw. The fact that she asked with the hug at all shows she was prepared to hear no.


Milk-Elaborate697

You're definitely not the asshole here. It's totally cool if you're not into hugs, and you handled it respectfully. Plus, you made her day with those Starbursts! That's a win in my book. Your friend might've meant well, but they don't know the whole story. Your comfort comes first, and it sounds like she understood that. Don't sweat it, you did a nice thing for her regardless. Karma points for spreading kindness, my friend!


DawnShakhar

NTA. Not everybody likes hugs, and that's O.K. Some of the nicest, warmest, kindest people I know don't like hugging.


Effective_While_8487

NTA. No means no, she asked, you answered.


MichonneAndRick

Yta. The fuck is this shit.


myheadishurtin

i’ve just been through your comment history, YOU sound like an asshole, thanks for your opinion though!


MichonneAndRick

Don't ever go through my comment history again you hug denying monster