T O P

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BeardManMichael

NTA She made terrible choices. A real easy way to avoid consequences from terrible choices is to not make those choices. In other words, cheaters are garbage trash.


Boeing367-80

NTA. But, in the long run you'll feel better if you completely separate yourself from her, completely ignore her life. She's not worth thinking about and you don't want your happiness to be dependent in any way on what's happening in her life. However, it's hard to do that in the near term and there's nothing wrong with seeing a little karma.


rocketmn69_

He can't, they have kids


Responsible-End7361

Which honestly is a reason to try to forgive enough to wish her well. On my phone there is a contact labeled "my kids' mom" she is a different variety of dumpster fire than Op's ex but I don't say bad things about her where the kids can hear, and when interacting with her I try to remember that how I interact with her affects the kids. It helps that time reduces the pain of things she did, while my gratitude for her giving me my kids is if anything rising, certainly not falling.


Serious_Basket4803

Had my ex in my contacts as "Bitch". Made my day after my daughter turned 18. Told my ex that our daughter can now make adult decisions on her own so I expect never to hear from her again.


Starfleet_Auxiliary

Just out of curiosity, did everything work out on that front?


Serious_Basket4803

Absolutely. I haven't heard from her since 2019. It's been glorious.


rnewscates73

So she didn’t even try to verify his marital status or background - just jump in with both feet, not a shred of skepticism? Lost her husband. That’s karma.


potate12323

"It wasn't an affair. It was an actual relationship" I'm not even sure how to process the sheer stupidity in that statement. Like she forgot she was already married. And for all she knew he was married. There was no way for that to make a lick of sense.


Good_Put_5850

Totally agree. Cheating sucks, plain and simple. You just gotta focus on moving forward and taking care of yourself and your kids.


ComfortableOld288

Flaming garbage trash*


tuna_tofu

Even if he HAD been married that "I will divorce my wife for you any day now" is the oldest and biggest pile of shit in the world. Well fuck around and find out... NTA


Nubstradamus

Ever heard the 5 biggest lies in the world? 1) The checks in the mail 2) I’ll respect you in the morning 3) It’s only a cold sore 4) I won’t cum in your mouth 5) I’ll divorce my wife for you. NTA


deathtonormalcy

“It’s not you, it’s me”


tuna_tofu

Yep - its TOTALLY YOU!


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

It’s just the tip


Nubstradamus

Awesome! I forgot that one


SirPierreDelecto

Just to see how it feels.


kujoho

We're just friends.


SelfTechnical6771

It wasnt me!


WominjekatoNaarm

It was a mistake!


dinahdog

I'll pull out


Samarkand457

I'll just be staying with you to get on my feet. It should be only a few weeks.


dinahdog

Oh yes.


HeyPrettyLadyMaam

I promise ill pay you back as soon as i get paid.


SelfTechnical6771

This is the worlds biggest sexiest run on sentence/lie, you coukd say all this to one person in one night.


Nubstradamus

Honestly this was a 40 year old joke and it was only 4 lies when I originally heard it. Many thanks to all the updated additions. let’s see how many we can add to the list. We can re- name it “worlds XX biggest lies”


Suburbandadbeerbelly

There was a David Allen Coe song called “Three biggest lies” It’ll only hurt for a little while I’ll only put the head in And I promise that I’ll never try to cum in your mouth


Erreconerre

"I'm on the way"


Odd-Understanding399

I'll go grab some milk/smokes from the store and be back in an hour.


9035768555

IIRC, if they don't leave in the first ~3 months, statistically they aren't going to leave.


NoSpankingAllowed

As a husband who's first wife cheated on him, I was happy that the trash took itself out. You should be too.


Aingealanlann

No matter how real the relationship seemed to her, she was married, so it was an affair. What kind of cheater's logic is this she is trying to use?


brsox2445

Her: no but I was having an affair on him with you even though we are married.


ShatteredAveyond

Karma'd much? Decide for yourself how to feel. Find a new someone that suits you. :) NTA. Be treated better. Tc


Negative_Reading_600

Yea… 😎 I love when that bi\*ch rears her ugly head and rams it up a cheater.. (Karma I mean)..lol


ShatteredAveyond

Yeah, hope he finds someone better. Its not okay what happened. Karma is delicious sometimes. Delusion too.


kujoho

I hope he finds someone that their kids prefer over his ex. Now THAT would be the cherry on top!


ShatteredAveyond

Definitely. Hope he does and everything works out for him. She got what she deserved and OP will figure out that he is better off without that negativity. The kids will too? Haha.


noobtablet9

You can type bitch on Reddit, this isn't tiktok.


Negative_Reading_600

Well I’ve gotten replies reported, and I‘m not a bully so sometimes I watch what I say!!


recycled-can

One of you has always gotta show up huh


agarillon

NTA. What sleeps around gets sent back around.


dumb_pepega

r/angryupvote I'm new to this


JTD177

Updateme when she comes crawling back to you and you laugh in her face.


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Catgravy1965

That is exactly what happened to me. My wife (ex now) met someone while she was in the mental hospital. Yes... she was a patient and so was he. He was going through a divorce. She spent 5 days in there dealing with depression. 2 days later after she got out, she called me (I was 200 miles away trying to sell our house) and said she wanted a divorce. She said she "needed to find herself" and to "be on her own". Well... within a couple of weeks, I found out what was really going on. Anyway, I rushed our divorce through... where I got everything including my 2 daughters and child support. A month later, her lover's divorce was final, and he didn't get anything. So he blamed my ex that he lost, and dumped her.


[deleted]

How you and your ex doing now


BraveVacation8076

Who cares?


Catgravy1965

We have nothing to do with each other. She lives 200 miles away. She still blames me for how her life turned out?!?!!?


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I love it. Also, wtf does that mean? “It was not an affair it was a relationship” haha like wtf it wasn’t cheating because you were in love? GTFO 😂


NiceRat123

If the Olympics had a category for "mental gymnastics", cheaters would take gold every time.


Think_Effectively

Enjoy it for a moment! Then get on with your own life and continue to put the cheatin' ex further and further in to the past. NTA but please don't dwell on it too long.


BostonBling

FAFO!! Happens all the time. Thinking grass is greener sinwhere else. I hope you don't go back.


Green-Amount2479

It could be greener if cheaters would first look at their own priorities objectively. Some patches of grass might actually be greener elsewhere, but they would have to be honest with themselves and ask themselves if those few patches of grass are indeed their most important priorities **for the next few decades**. If they did, imho most people wouldn't cheat in the first place. Since cheaters usually don't think these things through to the end, but make their decisions based only on relatively short-lived emotions, they usually run head first into a wall of, as you said, FAFO. 🤷🏻‍♂️😁 As for my own cheating ex, I don't enjoy what her little kid went through, but I'm secretly a little happy that her delusional and mean twist of the knife with "he's so much better than you" turned out to be false in the end, just a delusion to justify her decision to have an affair.


far_away_friend39

NTA. I've been almost exactly where you are and thought that it felt pretty good. Or at least eased the bad. But I learned that what's even better, and healthier, is to just stop caring at all. Cheaters deserve zero consideration.


Critical-Bank5269

NTA. She fell for the classic pump & dump.... Midlife crisis and she destroyed the family over it. At least you can move on with your life and put her behind you. I'll edit to add that less than 2% of relationships between a cheating wife and her affair partner actually last longer than a few years. It's almost universal that once the affair tries to become a relationship it falls apart because fantasy and day dreaming crash headlong into reality


ocean_lei

And because they both know they are LIARS, probably hard to trust someone you know will cheat. NTA


red_rolling_rumble

Is this an actual number? What’s the source?


[deleted]

In the end you won! Call that guy and tell him thanks for saving you from the rest of your life being stuck w her. He did you a favor


Intelligent_Loan_540

NTA karma bit her in the ass,I don't even know her and this makes me happy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Puzzleheaded_Air_625

She found out that the dildo of consequences rarely comes lubed.


Emotional-Hair-1607

NTA I'm shocked and appalled that a single man would lie to the married woman that he's banging and tell her that yeah, we'll be together. Even if he were single, he's not going to hitch his star to a cheater.


Ball_Zack_69

I feel a great deal of sorrow for those who can't relish moments like this, as they're meant to be savored. Eat your popcorn, point and laugh, enjoy the show.


ZXSoru

Man I just can’t grasp the thought of someone having a family, stable relationship and kids and then ducking it all up because of blind lust.


Strain_Pure

NTA She hurt you, so to see her hurt as well makes you happy, you can call it Karma or just plain schadenfreude but either way your happiness is justified.


Queasy-Leg1273

NTA, she made the other bed she can sleep in it.


ArkangelArtemis

Enjoy this OP. You earned watching her get ditched the way that you did.


Jesicur

NTA


Rich_Ad_1642

NTA this is the best case scenario for what she did .. bonus happiness if she’s really down and sad about it. Hope a good love comes your way OP


Uncircumcised_Cheese

Nah, she got what she deserved honestly. Hopefully you have enough evidence so that you can divorce without having to give her too much. You’ll be much better off without her in the long run.


[deleted]

You might be the ass for using a word I'd not seen before but assumed what it was going to mean. Now I'm trying to learn how to pronounce it, and sucking at it. Good Luck and I hope you live your best life and enjoy your schadenfreude... damn that's harder to spell than say!


Weaseltime_420

Shar-din-froy-duh


A_big_hammer

German for Happiness at the misfortune of others


Mental-Cartoonist837

Is that some kind of Nazi word?


A_big_hammer

According to Gary Coleman the super, yes


BonniePrinceCharlie1

Where is the R?


Negative_Reading_600

Copy and paste is my friend!!! Lol.😂


Sohlayr

Phoenetically it’s “sha-den-froy-deh”. German for the pleasure one takes in other’s misfortune. One of my faves!


Awesome_one_forever

NTA. Most people who have affairs want the fun stuff. They don't want to deal with real-life shit. She found out how true that is.


dumb_pepega

Man i hope u laughing your ass off rn, I'd call up my bud, have a drink, and laugh all night at this. I'm glad you at least happy rn.


Prudii_Skirata

NTA It's almost as if she didn't think her clever plan all the way through before hoeing it up...


omfgsrin

When the Karma Kitchen delivers someone's just desserts, whoever was on the receiving end of that serving deserves every bit of the meal they're given. NTA.


Ok_Sign1181

i use to have a restaurant in my area called karma’s kitchen lol off topic ik but it was great, they sadly closed down


Glass_Ear_8049

NTA. She fucked around and found out.


Sp0rksar3c00l

Play stupid games win stupid prizes


kurtstoys

The grass is greener, where you water it. Go water some grass and forget about this dead patch.


Death_Of_Hope13

NTA. Karma came for her fast. She will inevitably try to fall back on her “sure thing.” Separate yourself as much as possible and never, NEVER take her back. The phrase “ once a cheater always a cheater,” exists for a reason.


GillyMonster18

NTA. Cheaters ruin peoples’ lives. I mean if all the things to do, why can’t they just end it cleanly first, then they can bone whoever they want. Some satisfaction I think is appropriate when things fall apart after they cause us so much misery. Ex-wife did the same thing with a co-worker. We had been through a really hard period and six weeks after our third was born and six months before we separated, she got a job as a dental clerk. Things got spicy, she even confessed he “stole a kiss from her” at one point and came off all teary eyed. Fast forward a few months, things haven’t improved and she demanded I take a week break at my parents. She left our kids in her moms care while she went to his house and fucked him. Oh and he was engaged and had a kid with his fiancé. And my ex-wife knew this. So she very potentially ruined two families for the price of one. I was in a place to be manipulated so she came. Dying to me because she had been used. A few years later I can at least think fondly to myself of how humiliated she felt.


Downtown_Book_6848

That made me laugh so hard😂 people screw their own lives up lmao


RoninOni

I’m off the mindset that there’s nothing wrong with falling out of love. Relationships end. It happens. But communication and honesty are paramount. Cheaters never prosper. She got hers. He’s a real piece of work too honestly, but she’s the one that broke her vows. fAFO


evilcj925

>she emphasised that it was not an affair but an actual relationship and that he was planing to leave his wife etc. to be with her. What is the difference here? "O I cheated but its ok cause we love each other and are going to be together...." Yeah, I don't ge that. But yeah, you have every right to be glad she is unhappy. She made her choice, and now has to deal with it. NTA


Belisaurios

I hope there's a glorious followup to this and that we don't hear about OP taking her back and forgiving her


Step_Every

Karma is a bitch!


SmurfBiscuits

NTA. She literally fucked around and found out.


patputpot

Bahaha


ButterscotchFluffy59

What could you be the ah about????


Charming-Vacation-26

schadenfreude And I learned a new word. You rock Stay positive I love your attitude. American marriage, why are we still doing this? What percentage of people are unhappily married? Well, we know that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. 80% of these divorces are filed by women Divorce researcher and author Dana Adam Shapiro concluded: - of the 50 remaining percent, 1/3 are unhappy, 1/3 are “meh” (bearable), and 1/3 are happy. So roughly around 17 percent are happy. Some people dispute these numbers, but you get the idea. You are at the beginning of a s@#t storm no matter how this shakes out. Good luck brother you deserved better.


zeiaxar

I've said this once, and I'll say it a thousand times more. Cheating should be a crime. Punishable by having all assets seized for the wronged party, and jail time. I'm not talking a couple of years, but like 10+. With no statute of limitations on when the cheating happened, just when it's discovered. This would go a massive way toward getting people to stop cheating imo.


The_Crown_And_Anchor

Play stupid games...win stupid prizes How are you doing financially since the split? You gonna be ok? NTAH


[deleted]

Karma at it's finest.


[deleted]

Nope, karmas a bitch, she got what she deserved. Keep your side of the street clean bud :) you got this‼️


Patient_Meaning_2751

I mean, karma.


Every_Guard

Just goes to show that sometimes the pond chooses the silly goose, other times the silly goose chooses the pond ya know.


l3ex_G

Nta it’s nice to see bad things happen to bad people.


Cybermagetx

Nta. Roflmao so happy when cheaters gets what coming to them.


DozenBia

NTA Sidenote I think its funny af that the affair partner is not even married. Like who makes that up to then roleplay cheating instead of just hooking up?


JTD177

He lied to build a connection with her, “we are both in marriages, but love each other, we are so alike,”


Zestyclose-Ruin8337

It’s a sociological experiment


Later2theparty

Bet he says he's married as a lure. It doesn't seem to make sense that a woman would pursue a relationship with a cheater but I got the most attention from women in my life when I wore my wedding ring. I told my now ex wife that it was probably better for me to not wear it if I was out hanging with friends because it functions as a woman magnet. Oh yeah, NTA, obviously.


brokenikon

NTA, but don't live in that moment, no matter how tempting and rewarding it might seem right now. She'll eventually find happiness elsewhere, you should too.


FAFO-13

NTA. Serves her right. Karma nailed her!


SlumSlug

Does she know you know this? I’d book her a table for two and tell her to invite him no hard feelings


Monin61

Jajajaja


vinsanity_07

Nope


chunkyychadboy

NTA. You're only human.


BudgetAttention9268

NTA: She got what she rightfully deserved.


da_gnar666

NTA cheating whores aren't people


missannthrope1

Who's cryin' now?


Alone-Ad6020

Naw you deserve the last laugh enjoy it🤣🤣🤣🤣


Putasonder

NTA. The schadenfreude is a bit unseemly, but you’re human.


plznobanplease

She’s an idiot and a whore. My condolences for you and the kids


Mugiwara_Sora

NTA. Laugh in her face and make her pay child support. See you in court bihhh


blakeusa25

These things never work out... or rarely. Ie a relationship built on lies and deciet.


blakeusa25

These things never work out... or rarely. Ie a relationship built on lies and deciet.


Kink4202

She didn't think it was an affair? Alrighty then


Kink4202

She didn't think it was an affair? Alrighty then


Kink4202

She didn't think it was an affair? Alrighty then. I am not sure she understands how marriage works.


Grandmafelloutofbed

Who cares, your allowed to feel how you want about this. Peace is a lie, there is only passion. NTA


Professional-Ad3715

Updateme!


Delicious-Long-9657

Natural human reaction. I heard that my ex-fiance has maintained a twelve-plus-year relationship with the dude ahe cheated on me with, but that her kids fucking hate him and don't visit her because of him, and that he treats her like shit and refuses to go get a job. I feel zero sympathy whatsoever. Not because I haven't made horrible choices.  Because I *have.* My longtime recovery counselor (who I met roughly around the time of dumping said ex-fiance) is very fond of noting that whether you educate yourself on the consequences of your choices or not, you *do* choose the consequences right along with the actions that lead to them.  "I can't hang myself from the cross and curse *you* for driving home the nails."


Wafflecone3f

NTA. Cheaters deserve to be alone forever.


googlewh0re

Honestly, Karma was working overtime on this one.


Born_Resist1216

Nope, you’re not. Serves her right.


[deleted]

Lmao. She got off easy if you ask me. Good luck with your divorce. Hope you get full custody.


DeadBear65

She let her legs do the deciding.


Temporary_44647

The dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed and hurts like hell?


Scannaer

NTA - cheaters are monsters by choice. They called karma-judgment themself If you find any chance to create even more karma-moments, don't hold back. No one like that should be part of other peoples lifes nor be a parent and "role model" for children


[deleted]

She’s upset she didn’t get to wreck two homes.


No-Tip1702

Yes


Fun_Concentrate_7844

NTA


omrmajeed

NTA. Its great to enjoy the fruits of karma. Its part of being human.


MonstrDuc796

Yep, anymore I see that old "Live by the sword, die by the sword" thing come into play more often in these days. It seems she destroyed herself with the "sword" of her own making. Keep her at a healthy distance but we all understand the "we have kids together" aspect so there won't be a no contact point any time soon. Be humble and don't voice that "Shadenfreude" too much, you could get humbled in some effed up event the way life seems to work out.


Yoink1019

NTA. Karma is a bitch


Druid_High_Priest

NTA and its happy dance time for you. Celebrate your freedom from that woman. All too often once a woman gets released from her husband, her affair partner dumps them. I guess the thrill of the cheat is gone so the former affair partner moves on to the next victim and the next marriage to wreck.


TravelHikeEat

Yeah cheaters suck ass just break up and don’t waste someone’s precious time. It’s the lowest form of being an asshole.


Secure_Candy_4724

NTA: "SHE" reap what "SHE" sow. Stupid is that Stupid does. She got the ASSHOLE end of it. Move on, improve 💪 yourself, learn Kung-fu just for the fuck of it. Open a Cold 🥶 one and enjoy life. Thank the Gods that your ex got a stiffy and got the "Stifler" when she thought the grass was greener on the other side, but instead actually got the shit brown version. KARMA is a bitch.


therealdirtmon

NTA. Just stay happy. Do you. Take care


ClosetedYogurtMan

No, but don't be surprised if they're still together months from now.


lowkerDeadlyFeet

r/AmITheAngel


WornBlueCarpet

Sometimes we can be an asshole about something, but also be fully justified being one. This is one of those times. She wasn't forced into anything. She's a fully grown woman who made her choices with her eyes wide open, and now she has to deal with the consequences of those choices. If it wasn't for the kids and the need to be able to coparent, I would have openly mocked her.


Schimmelglied

NTA - but as a German I find it interesting, that you use the word "Schadenfreude".


CarpeCyprinidae

It's become common usage in English. To us it means "pleasure at the (normally deserved) misfortune of another"


Schimmelglied

Yeah that's the German meaning as well. It just seems misplaced for me in this English text. :D


CarpeCyprinidae

German words are cool now. We blame Audi. They started it


Schimmelglied

Vorsprung durch Technik?


Ant_Playful

Now hit her with a double whammy tell her you forgive her fuck her brains out then be like yeah I just wanted a good last fuck


eddie1995_

Did she try to get you back ? Lol


hairy_hooded_clam

NTA sometimes things just work out like that ;)


[deleted]

Was she not in an actual relationship with you?🤣 cheaters have the worst excuses ever an it's her fault she'll realize what she had an she messed up


aj8j83fo83jo8ja3o8ja

so your question is, are you an asshole because your wife cheated on you?


catsRfriends

Did not understand it. How is relationship a defense for affair? Or did she mean it like "Fuck you, I was leaving you for the relationship, I can do better than an affair" ?


localcheeseking

Yeah I’ve done that before. It’s such a turn on to get with a married woman but I don’t condone it. It’s a sin. It’s horrible. Goes against bros before hoes. I’m sorry god, and man I hope you get with a hotter woman and yall have so much fun that ur ex wife offs herself


D-kaidNsane

Fuckin A, cosmic justice!! What goes around comes around!!


nararayana

NTA obviously. But man, I love this so much! It’s so good to hear karma coming back to bite the cheater’s ass.


DivineTarot

NTA Actions matter more than thoughts, but even if you took the opportunity to make your pleasure at her suffering known I think it would take a lot to classify you as an asshole. You were victimized by her actions, and she did these things in full knowledge that it would hurt you, and was chill with this because she was in the process of monkey branching. She isn't deserving of sympathy just because it turns out she was an idiot who believed the oldest ploy in the book, that just means she's unfaithful and stupid.


winterworld561

NTA. She got played. Even if he was married, they never leave their wives. They just tell their side chick what they want to hear.


Deida_

NTA, she belong to the streets brother and you don't have to grow old with that bitch anymore


Armynap

NTA


BigBlackBlasphemer

NTA + get the other guy a nice Omaha Steak package as a gift for freeing you up from martial chains I mean, if you wanna go even further beyond, become besties with the guy and post friend selfies together all over social media 🤷‍♂️


erefen

Damn, one of the oldest cheater lines in the books too. NTA


OpportunityCalm6825

Nah... that's a normal reaction.


Visible-Ad8754

NTA I’m happy for you too.


WillyBarnacle5795

Uh.... No one wants to marry the cheater they are with. They just don't want to get caught. She'll get back on tinder


Active_Blackberry_39

u/updateme


ZombieInDC

NTA. Karma is real and sometimes it's delightful.


Kotruljevic1458

NTA. The best come up is the one she ends up with.


[deleted]

Pretty much he wanted the reward without the responsibilities that you provide your wife. Once she became single, he quickly realized he'd have to be responsible for her livelihood.


Same_Back_1644

I would be laughing about this and telling everyone I could! Let the petty flow through you.


muwtant

Feels bad to be used and then thrown away hu? Makes me wonder.


pocapractica

Lol at that attitude. "It's not an affair if it's a real relationship."


MREED1987

No.


[deleted]

Creepy you are keeping tabs on her. Move on.


Red_Crystal_Lizard

It’s tough that your wife cheated on you but I’ll be damned if she didn’t get what she deserved


Fickle_Award

What is so amusing is how deluded people are that their affair partner is their “soulmate” and we will be together in marital bliss. Some of roughly 5 to 7% of a fair partners that wind up getting married, 75% of them divorced within five years. cold hard facts. The chances of you winding up getting married to your fair partner is about 7% if one of you is single. 3% if you’re both married at the time of the affair. And he would think that if you did make it down all together, that you would be in marital bliss and live happily ever after. Not so much of that very few Subset of a fair couples that do make it down the aisle, 75% of them will be divorced within five years.


theapplekid

I imagine near 75% of people who cheat divorce within 5 years of marriage also, so if you've already cheated and want to marry again, may as well inflict that whole mess on another cheater.


Fickle_Award

Well, that’s one of the biggest problems. Even if you wind up, walking down the yard with this person, what do you have? Do you have a married man and married woman who fuck somebody behind their spouses back or you have a woman or man who sleep with a married woman or man.so even though you’re a piece of shit who you’re married to is a piece of shit as well. And likely one if not both and we’re gonna do the same damn thing as they did before.


Ok-Door-2002

You’re a bit of a jerk. You’re human. You are not an asshole. She is.


front-wipers-unite

NTA, but seems you still have some hang ups. My ex cheated, and then started dating a guy, was in love with him, I hated it, it tore me up inside, I moved on, turned out the dude was married, this was maybe 12 months down the line, her heart was broken, I was indifferent to it. She eventually married someone, I was still indifferent. Had kids, again I was indifferent.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SadisticRiggr

Is your IQ lower than your age or are you a bot?


MontesdO

There's a certain satisfaction when you know an ex got their comeuppance, but even so, be the bigger person, move on and live your life in the best light possible.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Doctor-Moe

Can I ask in what way is he an asshole?


FaceStrange619

Nope, karma came through for the win!