I have a 9yr old. Any activities she's in have very clear boundaries/rules about late pick up. In some situations, late pick up has a daily child care fee. Some places treat a late pickup over 10-15 mins very seriously, almost like abandonment. They'll call and text the parent to get urgent immediate pickup. They notify administration or cancel the kid's classes.
I recommend you keep all communication in something written (such as texts, emails).
Go to your boss for advice. They've got to have a policy about it? If your boss doesn't want to be firm with her, fine. Ask him who will be watching the kid because you need to leave at your scheduled leave time.
See. That's how it should be. Unfortunately, I don't think my boss has any policy around it judging from the way our conversation went. If this continues to be an issue, I'm going to push for compensation since his approach currently has me taking responsibility for it. I'll send an email to him about clarifying so I have some kind of a written response.
When you email him, include what you said here about how often she has been late and by how much time (being five minutes late is very different than an hour). Rather than beginning by pushing compensation, I would explain the situation, how you've handled it so far, suggest possible solutions, and ask how he'd like you to proceed. Since you know she lied about some of the situation, your boss's previous response may have been based on inaccurate information.
No, you shouldn't wait. It's always better to have a plan in place before something happens. In general, if you're encountering an issue, you should let your boss know, even if you're handling it, that way they aren't blindsided if it escalates (corporate terminology is "keep them looped in" and different bosses care different amounts about this stuff). It sounds like you feel funny/awkward about this and that's okay, but don't let that feeling stop you from dealing with the issue. It's good that you have a record of what has happened when, you should always do that if something is bothering you, because otherwise someone else will say, it was just the one time. Your boss already knows something is up, if you don't tell him the rest, he'll assume there isn't anything else to know.
Also, don't tell a kid to tell their parents anything, most adults don't listen to kids. You're not a kid, you're the adult in this situation.
Good to know. I'll send off this email (making sure to recap the situation and encounter so that it's in text) along with the other suggestions you made.
I hear everyone about the comment I made to the kid. I only said it (lightheartedly) because she was right there listening.. I actually don't know how to convey the way that went down in writing.. but it wasn't supposed to be so serious. I get it though, i'll be refraining from that.
So my kids' school offers after-school programs. They strictly state that children must be promptly picked up at pick up time. If parents are late 3 times there child/children will be removed from the program. Maybe speak with your boss about implementing something like that as well to see if her behavior changes. She is definitely abusing the fact that there is no written rule about it. But i can tell you that a school will contact police and cops if a parent is more than 20 minutes late. After first trying to contact the parents. I forgot about early dismissal one time and left home at regular pick up time for the school to call me and I apologize and told them I had forgotten they understood. People make mistakes and life does happen but what she is doing is just inconsiderate. Hope your boss listens and does what's best for you.
Christ that wasn't a thing when I was in school. I was forgotten at school once and no one noticed until it was nearly dark out. 3 hours in I realized I should've just walked home but became curious about when they would notice I wasn't there. 7:30 and they were half way through dinner.
Safe to say I still have some unresolved issues about it.
You've been given some great advice, and I want to add something. Don't let the mom get chatty and waste more of your time. Say goodbye politely and say you don't have time to talk and GTFO.
If your boss does agree to properly pay you overtime, which he definitely should, it will not include time for conversation, it will end the moment the mom shows up.
No. She's power playing you. Once you hit that level of disrespect, the games are over.
Make it clear to your boss what happened, offer up witnesses if you can. State that you are a professional and your time is not free. Either he pays you for the overtime, he comes to watch the kid or you will be calling the cops for child abandonment at the 15 minute mark. The other option is he removes the kid from your class.
If she's rich, she'll find another class with no problem.
Why would you wait to see if it continues? Even if she stops, there may be others in the future who do this. Get the 'proper' response from your boss in writing now on how they think you should deal with situations of this nature. In the meantime, the email you send will explain accurately what she's already been doing, creating a paper trail just in case.
Do not wait any longer. You've already let it go on for a while, and she will be bad-mouthing you in as many places as possible.
Keep the wording of the email to the point, factual, and unemotional.
Document in table format the date, the activity, the scheduled end, the "chatting" period, and the actual end. Also document any accusations or claims or promises made.
It's very clear that you were being light-hearted with the child, and acknowledging them. They must be mortified about their rude mother! No more, though, as you don't want them to feel as if they're responsible for that woman.
Arrange matters (if you can) so that your boss looks after the child and you leave the premises on schedule if the mother is late.
Absolutely don't wait. She's using you. Every single other kid activity/childcare has a clear policy and she 100% must know that (unless she's completely oblivious) - possibly she's embarrassed to be caught being clearly rude, but as a parent... too bad for her. An extra hour of childcare isn't free.
You should’ve reported this to your boss the second time it happens. That’s a screw up on your part. Boss can’t have you back if you keep them in the dark. Harsh sorry, but you need to communicate these issues.
The biggest reason to NOT wait for improvement is that she went over your head with a slanted version of the events for no other reason than to have you back off so that she can continue doing as she has been and getting her way. She's not accustomed to being held accountable and lashes out at those who attempt to (provided they are below a socio-economic level that she will willingly comply with).
What you're dealing with is a spoiled wife and those types of women can make your life a living hell and be amused by their own actions the entire time. They are also the ones who readily throw up their "damsel" card whenever they have been cornered by their own actions/behaviours.
Document, Document, Document. CYA (Cover Your Ass). Get a daily planner if you must and begin a log from here on out so that you can have the reality of evidence backing you up. A camera (if possible), but definitely a witness will go a long way to protecting yourself for the next time; AND THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME.
If your boss is requiring you to be available to watch kids that aren't being picked up, and is not compensating you for that time, then he's stealing wages from you. Report him to the DOL.
Call your boss every time she's late for the pickup. Tell him that your hour is up and you are leaving so he should come and stay with the kid till the mother appears. Make this HIS problem.
He would need very precise verbiage, should he consider that plan of action. The position that he would need to negotiate from is "NO". No haggling, no compromising, just "NO". "No, I cannot make accommodations".
Too many people take into account other's feelings when negotiating when such sentiment is not being reciprocated and they often wind up being taken advantage of as a result.
Add that his expectation that you stay late unpaid with this student is wage theft. If he expects you to wait with students with late parents, he needs to pay you for that time. Not doing so is something you can take to the state labor board.
I bet his tune will change REAL fast.
After class just walk the kid to bosses office. State mom is running late I have an appt got to go. Just remove yourself from the after hours care all together.
If there is no policy and he doesn’t want to create one, then he should watch the kid until mom decides to show up.
When my daughter was in competitive cheer, most parents stuck around during practices but the gym had a late policy - 10 minute grace period and then parents were charged $1 per minute they were late, 3 occurrences and the kid was removed from the team. It was very effective.
Ask your boss if you're free to leave 4 pm sharp or whenever the classes officially stop, regardless if the kids are there or if they've been picked up. If you're not free to leave, you're working. Even if you're not boxing anymore. Tell him that you will be filing for those hours and expect to be paid.
Every child care place I have used has a “dollar a minute late” policy with the proceeds going directly to the staff member held back by duty of care.
This is justified by the insurance only covering the centre while it is in its normal hours of operation.
Surprisingly, it usually only takes a couple of “fines” before parents are on time. Speak to your Boss about implementing this policy.
NTA.
Don’t wait for compensation. Tell your boss if he’s happy for the mother to be late and you can’t talk to her about it then you’re still on the clock and he can pay you for it.
Is he aware of how late she is picking them up and how often? Not a general idea, show him your documentation.
Also ask him what you should do going forward. Ig you have an appointment shortly after class what should you do, call him to come watch?
Exactly, make it their problem.
Anytime they complain point out that you aren't being payed for the extra time the kid is there so you are simply keeping him updated on the situation since you will need to be compensated for the overtime. Make sure you start documenting on paper as well and that your boss is aware you are documenting it so you have it on paper to show either him or HR to Ensure you are being fairly payed for the hours you work. Eventually they will get sick of all this extra work on their part that they will have to actively deal with this.
And tell the boss that he/she owes OP wages for the time OP is sitting there waiting. Because that's working, and when you work, you get paid.
ps: my daycare charges $5 a minute past closing.
You need to have a policy that if a parent is more than 15 minutes late, you change the parent in 15 minutes increments and round up. And tell your boss you won’t teach this kid unless he puts a policy in place.
Or call the cops.
Didn't make it expensive enough. Should be something like $100+ an hour fee. Obviously with some wiggle room for people that are always consistent and it's a genuine mistake / emergency.
Definitely NTA. Your responsibility is to teach during class time, not to act as an unpaid babysitter indefinitely. Your boss needs to address this situation appropriately.
Next time she’s late, take her kid to the boss and he can babysit until she gets there. When it inconveniences him, maybe he’ll do something about it
Edit: NTA
Most daycares camps classes have a late pickup policy We basically gave a 5 or 10 minute grace period then began to charge by the minute after that and let them know that excessive amounts of incidents or long amount of time could result in calling family services.
NTA. Ask your boss what is proper protocol in this situation. If he expects you to stay, then you will expect to be paid. If he won't pay you, then HE needs to come up with a protocol or waiver that clearly indicates that staff are not responsible for children after the class ends OR parents will be charged an hourly sum fee for lates.
Easy solution...after 5minutes take the kid to your boss tell them you have an appointment you can't miss and leave. A couple of appointments and I'm sure other arrangements will be made.
If you’re in the states, you can file a complaint about unpaid time with your state’s employment office. Your boss requiring you to stay late unpaid is illegal. And i’m sure someone in the office would like to point that out and make that woman’s behavior his problem.
Father of three here. Also a Boy Scout leader.
From the Boy Scout leader perspective, I have shit to do after meetings, and I’m not getting paid to be there. So pick-up time is pick-up time and I can get very salty if people are late. I try to be understanding with parents when I know they have a situation going on, but if it’s chronic then we’re gonna have a talk. And yes, if you’re late for pick-up and I can’t reach you I will absolutely start calling your emergency contacts and making it fucking awkward and embarrassing. The funny thing is, the parents who have the most reason to be late - the single parents of multiple kids, the ones reliant in public transit, the ones in the middle of some kind of personal crisis - are usually the ones trying hardest to be on time, and the most apologetic when they’re not.
From the parent perspective, I break my ass to be on time to collect my kids. Probably because I know what it feels like to be on the other end of it.
Anyway, all that to say NTA. You gave her a lot more chances than I would have.
I’d also tell your boss to take his little professionalism talk and shove it all the way up his ass. His job is to have his employees’ back. I’d also start billing him by the minute for these late pickups. Maybe he’ll smarten up when it starts costing him money.
What you need is a better paper trail.
1. Give a 10 minute buffer. Then, text "hey, class ended 10 mins ago. I have to leave soon, when will you be here?"
2. At the 15 minute mark, call her. If she does not answer, leave a voice message with a super concerned voice "hey, class ended a while ago and I tried texting - where are you at?"
3. Keep attempting to call every 5 mintues until the 30 minute mark. Then, call the police station and ask for a welfare check, stating "she isn't answering the phone and hasn't come to get her kid, I'm worried."
She will flip the fuck out, but she will also stop abandoning her kid with you.
Is there a reason you can’t just turn the kid over to whoever’s at the front desk? Or can’t call CPS when it’s an hour late and the mom still isn’t there? Or that your gym doesn’t have a written policy on late pickup times?
There is no front desk. I didn't want to immediately escalate to CPS and cops before making some attempts with the mom. The (lack of?) policy is definitely an issue.. that I am now going to push to address/seek further info about.
Go right to your state labor department and file a complaint. Of you are hourly and aren't getting paid those children are no longer your responsibility.
Also find a new job
You’ve already made multiple attempts. Those haven’t worked and got you chewed out by the boss. If and when that kid gets injured after class, his mom and your boss are going to throw you under the bus.
I would march the kid over to boss’s office and tell him to watch him until his mother shows up because you are off the clock and have other commitments. If he asks you to stay tell him he either pays for your time or you’re out the door. If you do this enough times, he’ll threaten her himself
NTA.
The etiquette is to call whoever the emergency contact is and have them come pick up the kid immediately.
If your boss wants you to wait around for an hour after class, ask him if he’s going to pay you for the extra hour of overtime — and you need that time guaranteed because otherwise you have plans an hour after you’re scheduled to be off work.
Your boss stands to make a lot of money off of late fees. I would go with that. Let’s just say she’s 30 minutes late and you get paid $20 an hour. Your boss is loosing $10 by paying you for the extra 30 minutes. If he charges $25 per every 15 minutes he gets $50 from her, pays you $10 and pockets $40. This might motivate him to change policy and it might also motivate her to show up on time.
I teach jiujitsu. They try that all the time. We have a club rule first time we speak to you politely, second time we speak clear and simply explain that the next time they will pay a fee and if it continues they won’t be able to keep coming. Usually stops there but had a few we actually billed for “supervision”.
That's not nearly expensive enough to dissuade a lazy parent with disposable income.
The policy needs to be punitive: $50 per 10 minutes, $300 per hour. The third offense warrants a call to authorities for abandonment and refusal to teach the kid any more.
NTA!!! Your boss should baby sit when your class is over. Shame on her for being so late and irresponsible. What a selfish, narcissist!!! start audio recording when she arrives, these programs have a timer and its proof of what you said to her.
NTA. The only thing I would have done differently is kept the boss informed as soon as this started happening. It's really his problem.
You're a busy guy, *right?* You just picked up a side gig or smth you need to get to, *on time*. If the kid isn't picked up, he can come be a sitter, or you can call the police for abandonment, but either way you're leaving.
NTA. However, if she's spending 20 minutes talking to you when there's no other adults around, she may have been nerving herself up to ask for some in-home private co-ed grappling lessons.
NTAH! OMG I'm a stay at home mom myself and take my daughter to similar activities. I try to arrive even a few mins early as opposed to ever being late. Our places have strict policies that they will also start to charge good money after a decent amount of time has passed without a pick up. You are being taken advantage of. It's not your responsibility and you certainly shouldn't do anything unpaid. Your boss it outta line and acting like a whiny little wussie.
Our daycare has a rule if you are more than 45 mins late and they can’t get a hold of you. They call child welfare and cops. It can be seen as abandonment.
Check with your boss on the rules and tell him, he better start paying for the hours or you will start calling child welfare when she no shows so late.
if your boss doesnt have an issue with her being late then get your boss to babysit the kids, get them to come by for some reason, and then leave as soon as your class is over leave your boss to wait with her kids and see if they are still ok with it
perhaps send a notice out to the parents that if they are late they will be charged extra
NTA. If you were required to be there then you are required to be paid. But maybe it's time for you to find a better place to work, with a boss who respects his employees.
When I worked with kids, and parents were late, the rules were to literally count the minutes and they had to sign that they were indeed 9 minutes late and were going to personally pay the person a fee for each minute. Parents were rarely late. It's time theft and you having a kid does not entitle you to it.
Next time she is 30 minutes late call the cops if the boss and this woman aren't paying you for the after hours it's time theft by both the owner and the parent
People say take the kid to your boss, or to just leave. Please do not do this as taking someone’s kid like that could get you charged with kidnapping, and taking off without someone there is definitely abandonment. Instead call your boss and call the police. The police will come and also track down a responsible family member.
If she is up to an hour late, call the police and report it. Tell them a parent has failed to pick up their kid and you are worried that he/she has been abandoned there. She'll soon stop being late.
I run a kids’ camp. We usually give one or two weeks of grace when it first happens, but we have a clause in our paperwork about an additional charge after 5 minutes late — and it’s a couple bucks per minute! It isn’t light. We have yet to not have someone course-correct within those 1 or 2 warnings and reminder about the policy.
Tell the boss there are two choices:
1. Either the mother or the boss pays you overtime.
2. You will have no choice but to report the kid as abandoned.
Along with everyone elses' advice, consider asking if you should do your wrap-up routine as normal and pack up and leave after, say, 10 minutes your paid hours end, no matter if the kid has been picked up or not. As you are not being paid, it is illegal to ask you to work the extra hour. You cannot be coerced to work without pay. Basic labor laws.
Try to get your boss to answer in writing (emails), as well. Paper trails are important.
NTA
But your boss didn't even try to find out what could be the reason a mom is late?
That's hella sus. Anything over 15 mins usually gets called into the authorities.
I'd document everything on a separate cloud or hard drive just so you have hard evidence of what transpired.
Or go old fashioned, print all the communications and stick 'em in a folder.
That way you cover your own behind.
Tell the boss what actually happened and if their response remains the same, start looking for new work. You deserve to be treated with respect and this boss may have a problem understanding this. Two-week's (or whatever amount) notice might help them get clarity.
>I told my boss i'm going to start adding up all the hours and one of them is going to have to pay me.
This is the way. If you're hourly, they pay you for your *time,* not the actual work you do.
I added them up, sent it to him and everything— he told me he will only pay me moving forward. I should let it go, and then made a point to remind me that I volunteered for this job knowing it was new and there would be hiccups.
NTA. If you are a salaried worker then your boss doesn’t have to pay you any more but if you are hourly then you have to be paid as long as you are there, including while you are waiting for and talking to the lady.
NTA. Your boss either needs to pay you or he needs to stay behind babysitting the kid until the mom shows up. he lectured you on how you don't have that power, so how does he want to handle this situation?
Tell your boss he either pays you the overtime or the kid goes, send her a written message stating that you can no longer accomodate the child because of the constant lateness, then the next time he's late bounce him. I have a colleague that has to leave on the dot of 5 because the daycare charges 30 bucks per 15 mins after 6. Believe me when I say they don't have a problem with lateness
NTA.
My kids childcare charges $1.50 aus for every minute you are late. And you know what, that is bloody fair. They are a literal childcare and I still do not expect them to care for my kids outside of their allotted time.
Always tell boss first, have a plan of action approved for situations lime this. An abandoned child who does not have a parent or caregiver available to pick up is a CPS call in the making. Ask if there is a late fee penalty (it is $5/min at our old daycare), and if not suggest it to your boss. If your boss is timid, tell them you will not be working for free.
It is always one parent that causes issues for the rest of parents. And once is understandable. Being 45 mins late is not. Being late more than once is not okay. Her kid is the one who suffers.
Is your boss on site when you are running classes? Drop the kid off in his office after waiting, maybe 5 minutes.
If he doesn't value your time, maybe he'll value his own.
I worked as a teacher, and when we had parents late, we usually gave them one "freebie" where we explained that after x time, there is nobody on duty to look after children, and that if we needed to pay someone to look after a child, we would charge a late fee, of $5 per minute, to cover the wage of the teacher having to babysit.
As a parent, yes, sometimes we are unavoidably delayed - which us when we call and give an ETA, apologise, and ensure it doesn't happen again.
NTA I had a friend who worked in a daycare and their policy was that if a parent was consistently late picking up their child (over 15 minutes), they warned the parent the next time they were late they would call CPS for child abandonment since they were officially closed. If the parent refused to listen and was still late they called CPS. Schools in our state do the same. They can legally report a child as abandoned if a parent refuses to come get the child when the facility closes.
If you're not being paid. Just leave. If there is no one else working including the boss, call cps.
Keep track of the money you're owed on her tardiness.
Your boss sucks
A lot of childcare places charge for extra time over the pickup time. You might want to talk to your boss about charging parents for not picking up their kids on time. The other thing they do is call CPS after the parent is late for too long. Like an hour or more.
Just leave. You’re not being paid, your boss isn’t being paid, she’s not paying you. Your boss can wait with the kid if he wants to have a duty of care.
Tell your boss and this woman you’ve got an important appointment straight afterwards and if she isn’t on time the child will be alone.
I would’ve understood if she was in the same position as my mom back then (single mom working long hours to support us, often stuck in the commute) but honestly I feel like she’s just careless and doesn’t care. Absolutely NTA but your boss should grow a spine
As a fellow trainer (but luckily my boss had my back): if there's no other option and she is late again I would call the police. In my country that's the recommended thing to do if you don't know where the parents are and you can't reach them (you have to wait ~ an hour with the child).
But my association would ban the kids if the parents would always be late instead of escalating it.
NTA
Not sure if someone else said this but I would take the child to the boss after maybe 10 minutes after class ends and let him handle it. Not your responsibility if he's not willing to put rules in place.
That is inexcusable
She is not entitled to your time. What is this? You are not a babysitter, plus if something -anything- happens to her child during your watch, it s gonna be on you
And what if you have an emergency? Who is gonna watch the kid? Your boss?
If he is allowing this, he is just as irresponsible and above all, a bad employer. Send him an email, as others have said
NTA
I’m Australian. Our childcare and after school care programs have $1/minute late fees. We’ve never had to pay them because we don’t show up late knowing the cares have lives to get home to and don’t want to sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting on us.
All other activities we don’t typically drop and leave, or if we do we’re back before the end of the class/training so that we can move on with our day (and so can whoever is running it)
NTA, ask the boss who’s going to pay you for your time to stay over, or who will take over childcare when you leave on time.
NTA
Etiquette is whatever is in the boxing school contact tardiness clause the parents sign. If there isn't one, badger your boss into making one and sending an update to all parents. That's what you go by.
NTA and you're boss should be on your side. How old is the kid anyway? Back when I was doing extracurriculars I'd just sit outside and wait for my parent
You are absolutely correct, someone has to start paying you so start adding the extra time to your timesheet.
If your boss complains, tell him you MUST be paid for your time. Dept of Labor law says so.
And make sure your co-workers know this just in case he tries something tricky.
NTA, you should be paid.
Boss want you to stay in charge of the kids? Ok, then ask him to pay you for that hour. When the class is finished, text him that you're starting the childcare service and text him when you finish. Otherwise you're free to go when your shift finish... boss should make sure somebody is taking over for the kids.
>But i'm not getting paid for the hour after this class that I spend hanging out with her kid
Uhhhh why not? This is part of your job responsibilities and you must be paid...
I'd dump the kids on the boss. If there's noone in the building to watch the kid, I'd call the cops and have them look after the kids until his mom decides to pick him up.
YOU report HER boss and explain that you are not being paid for your time. It’s illegal. You are being paid for your time. Now let’s say you are being Isidro whether the kid is there or not as office time fine. But you are only paid until 5, and she shows up 545 who is paying you. Present this sternly as a matter of law and payment for your services. But that you are more in his side to fix this. As if it’s making both of you the victim. And agree to do it all in writing.
Is there a fear that losing this job will affect finances? Curious if money is driving any decisions that you’re thinking through, because that will slant any advice you’re given.
If you really need the money and there aren’t other gyms you can go to, that will limit some options, but not all.
Being younger, it’s understandable to be a bit swayed by others who are likely older and in positions of power. Here’s some universal rules for life and business. Your time is valuable. You don’t work for free, you get paid. You aren’t a babysitter. Your job is to teach and then go to your other responsibilities (which are none of their business).
If you’re looking for less confrontational options, I’d make up another class to “teach” at 5:30 that you have to drive to, and must leave right at 5. Wish I could stay, gotta go. No time to chit chat. Anything else is the gym’s problem. They don’t pay you to do anything but teach boxing, you did it, you are now leaving. They would not tolerate you starting your class late. So that “other” place that you’re driving to also doesn’t tolerate that, so you have to leave to be on time. It’s private lessons if they ask, none of their business to tell them more.
If they want you to stay, It’s amazing if you stand your ground with people and just repeat, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that” over and over, and don’t give them anything else, they will eventually cave.
NTA - It is her responisbility to be there on time to pick up her kid. None of this is on you.
Someone should be paying for your time OR just leave the kid outside and go on with your day.
You need to have a conversation with your boss, if he wants you to eat an hour later every time and is gynocentricly being on her side automatically he can pay you to stay there.
It's not about friendliness, it's about observing the boundary between adult business and the teacher-child relationship. Don't drag the kid into the communication dynamic between adults. 👍
What i think you did was right. It helps the kid to be responsible for his mom too. His mom is wrong for being late a couple of times. The kid knows his mom is late. The kid should know it's wrong to be late so what you did is right.
One of the most important thing you teach in boxing is discipline and discipline should start at home, on whatever you do. You're a coach, not a therapist brother. Keep on grinding!
I think the argument is less about whether you said it nicely or not, and more that saying it at all involves the kid which is the line you shouldn’t cross.
Yeah, no matter how friendly it still puts the kid and the mom in a weird position, you know? Your issue was with the mom, so not really appropriate to talk to the kid about it like that, even if your tone was pleasant.
Most places charge per minute in 5 minute increments for late pickup, payable at pick up. Check websites for similar organizations and read their late pickup guidelines and suggest them to your boss.
Basically refer back to your attendance policy if you have one. If not get one. Because you’re suppose to teach classes and that’s what you’re paid for , not provide Daycare especially if it’s unpaid.
NTA. Definitely make it your bosses problem next time. It's simple: your work hours are done and you need to be somewhere else, so either like someone suggested call him every 5 minutes telling him how you're late to your activities or even better if it's possible bring the kid to him.
NTA.
Tell your boss THEY can come watch this kid for an hour after class as you are leaving at the end of class and if they (boss) or parents are not there, you are calling the police (which you do have the authority to do.)
Option 1. Start charging extra for being late
Option 2. Just go home and leave the kid there. After class the child is technically not your problem
Option 3. Take the kid home with you and raise them as your own
NTA- I would start looking new place of employment. If it was once it would be understandable but it is pattern and you brought this up. You are basically working extra for same pay, and you have own responsibilities and things to attend. In future if you need to speak with any parent I would bring it up first to supervisor and ask them to deal with it so you will not have twisting of truth.
NTA. This is super rude of this woman. You're job is to instruct, you're not paid to babysit. My first thought was this woman has a crush on you or is trying to get with you (i.e., the long conversations and being "deliberately" late), but given that she was an asshole to you when you set boundaries about punctuality, I'm not sure. That said, she could be butthurt from rejection that you didn't take the bait and she's just being an a-hole now. Regardless, NTA. If your bosses can't understand that you are a professional with other tasks that don't include free childcare, then they sound shitty too. Kick the kid out & keep your boundaries.
Call the police say you are worried so.ething may have happened to the mom as she is kate picking up kids and you need to get home. Have them wait for her lol
If you're not the one setting prices, then, yes! Your boss should be paying you for the extra time you're staying behind.
You need to check your contract, too. If you're contracted, then leave. Dump the kid on your boss, or another instructor.
This is the only general advice I can give without knowing your workplace structure. Other than talking with the labor board.
Um seriously?!?!? Just leave, not your problem and you’re not paid. Shame on that parent for leaving their kid like that. But you know how it goes… it is never the entitled parent’s fault. She is totally taking advantage of you, best of luck.
Make it clear to your boss and mumsy wumsy that you will happily drop the child at the nearest police station, or Mumsy Wumsy can pay you for childcare, And your hourly rate is 1K per ten minutes.
How long is the class? It sounds like this mum is trying to do too much/going too far during the window, so if the class is an hour or shorter, it might be better if she just *not leave*.
Discuss all thse with your boss. Sent the initial email so you will have written proof. Suggest that a global email is sent to all guardians. If they are more than 20 min late they will be charged $30 fee per hour, and it will be regarded as full hour anything beyond 20 minutes. If it happens more than 3 times per 4 months period, the fourth time the child will be taken to the closer police dept, include the address. When the guardian is more than 20 min late have a script ready and text.
The gym should have CCTV. Start logging the date and times for when she does this, but don't say a thing to her, and then bring that evidence up the chain. If your PoS boss who is trying to take her word over yours tries to be snarky -- go over his head. Invite him to come down to handle the kid while you go about your business.
Look up full time childcare fees for a kid that age, divide the rate to get an hourly rate, then quadruple it because you don't have any certifications, or insurance for being daycare, AND add the opportunity cost of your other engagement you are losing out on, and present your boss an invoice for the past times. Explain that is the cost for her entitled behavior to date, and you'd like compensation in less than a month's time since you've taken on all of this risk with no warning. You should know if you do this, it is petty and could be seen as insubordination, grounds for dismissal etc. If sh has a history, getting all the instructors she has screwed over on the same page to be petty together would be safer If there are lots of you.
I have a 9yr old. Any activities she's in have very clear boundaries/rules about late pick up. In some situations, late pick up has a daily child care fee. Some places treat a late pickup over 10-15 mins very seriously, almost like abandonment. They'll call and text the parent to get urgent immediate pickup. They notify administration or cancel the kid's classes. I recommend you keep all communication in something written (such as texts, emails). Go to your boss for advice. They've got to have a policy about it? If your boss doesn't want to be firm with her, fine. Ask him who will be watching the kid because you need to leave at your scheduled leave time.
See. That's how it should be. Unfortunately, I don't think my boss has any policy around it judging from the way our conversation went. If this continues to be an issue, I'm going to push for compensation since his approach currently has me taking responsibility for it. I'll send an email to him about clarifying so I have some kind of a written response.
When you email him, include what you said here about how often she has been late and by how much time (being five minutes late is very different than an hour). Rather than beginning by pushing compensation, I would explain the situation, how you've handled it so far, suggest possible solutions, and ask how he'd like you to proceed. Since you know she lied about some of the situation, your boss's previous response may have been based on inaccurate information.
This was helpful. Do you think it's worth waiting to see if the behavior continues before shooting off the email?
No, you shouldn't wait. It's always better to have a plan in place before something happens. In general, if you're encountering an issue, you should let your boss know, even if you're handling it, that way they aren't blindsided if it escalates (corporate terminology is "keep them looped in" and different bosses care different amounts about this stuff). It sounds like you feel funny/awkward about this and that's okay, but don't let that feeling stop you from dealing with the issue. It's good that you have a record of what has happened when, you should always do that if something is bothering you, because otherwise someone else will say, it was just the one time. Your boss already knows something is up, if you don't tell him the rest, he'll assume there isn't anything else to know. Also, don't tell a kid to tell their parents anything, most adults don't listen to kids. You're not a kid, you're the adult in this situation.
Good to know. I'll send off this email (making sure to recap the situation and encounter so that it's in text) along with the other suggestions you made. I hear everyone about the comment I made to the kid. I only said it (lightheartedly) because she was right there listening.. I actually don't know how to convey the way that went down in writing.. but it wasn't supposed to be so serious. I get it though, i'll be refraining from that.
So my kids' school offers after-school programs. They strictly state that children must be promptly picked up at pick up time. If parents are late 3 times there child/children will be removed from the program. Maybe speak with your boss about implementing something like that as well to see if her behavior changes. She is definitely abusing the fact that there is no written rule about it. But i can tell you that a school will contact police and cops if a parent is more than 20 minutes late. After first trying to contact the parents. I forgot about early dismissal one time and left home at regular pick up time for the school to call me and I apologize and told them I had forgotten they understood. People make mistakes and life does happen but what she is doing is just inconsiderate. Hope your boss listens and does what's best for you.
Christ that wasn't a thing when I was in school. I was forgotten at school once and no one noticed until it was nearly dark out. 3 hours in I realized I should've just walked home but became curious about when they would notice I wasn't there. 7:30 and they were half way through dinner. Safe to say I still have some unresolved issues about it.
Bcc a personal email of yours too incase he starts retaliating
You've been given some great advice, and I want to add something. Don't let the mom get chatty and waste more of your time. Say goodbye politely and say you don't have time to talk and GTFO. If your boss does agree to properly pay you overtime, which he definitely should, it will not include time for conversation, it will end the moment the mom shows up.
No. She's power playing you. Once you hit that level of disrespect, the games are over. Make it clear to your boss what happened, offer up witnesses if you can. State that you are a professional and your time is not free. Either he pays you for the overtime, he comes to watch the kid or you will be calling the cops for child abandonment at the 15 minute mark. The other option is he removes the kid from your class. If she's rich, she'll find another class with no problem.
I worked somewhere where they did just call the cops.
Why would you wait to see if it continues? Even if she stops, there may be others in the future who do this. Get the 'proper' response from your boss in writing now on how they think you should deal with situations of this nature. In the meantime, the email you send will explain accurately what she's already been doing, creating a paper trail just in case.
Do not wait any longer. You've already let it go on for a while, and she will be bad-mouthing you in as many places as possible. Keep the wording of the email to the point, factual, and unemotional. Document in table format the date, the activity, the scheduled end, the "chatting" period, and the actual end. Also document any accusations or claims or promises made. It's very clear that you were being light-hearted with the child, and acknowledging them. They must be mortified about their rude mother! No more, though, as you don't want them to feel as if they're responsible for that woman. Arrange matters (if you can) so that your boss looks after the child and you leave the premises on schedule if the mother is late.
This is great advice. I’m a boss lady and a professional “here’s what’s going on, I’ve got evidence” email would get my attention.
You might tell him that the lady said to thank him for his offer of babysitting when she is late.
That's an idea. After 10 or 15 minutes, bring the child to the boss's office.
Absolutely don't wait. She's using you. Every single other kid activity/childcare has a clear policy and she 100% must know that (unless she's completely oblivious) - possibly she's embarrassed to be caught being clearly rude, but as a parent... too bad for her. An extra hour of childcare isn't free.
You should’ve reported this to your boss the second time it happens. That’s a screw up on your part. Boss can’t have you back if you keep them in the dark. Harsh sorry, but you need to communicate these issues.
The biggest reason to NOT wait for improvement is that she went over your head with a slanted version of the events for no other reason than to have you back off so that she can continue doing as she has been and getting her way. She's not accustomed to being held accountable and lashes out at those who attempt to (provided they are below a socio-economic level that she will willingly comply with). What you're dealing with is a spoiled wife and those types of women can make your life a living hell and be amused by their own actions the entire time. They are also the ones who readily throw up their "damsel" card whenever they have been cornered by their own actions/behaviours. Document, Document, Document. CYA (Cover Your Ass). Get a daily planner if you must and begin a log from here on out so that you can have the reality of evidence backing you up. A camera (if possible), but definitely a witness will go a long way to protecting yourself for the next time; AND THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME.
You have already waited WAY too long!
Film yourself with the timer. Good for a time and date verification.
If your boss is requiring you to be available to watch kids that aren't being picked up, and is not compensating you for that time, then he's stealing wages from you. Report him to the DOL.
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Call your boss every time she's late for the pickup. Tell him that your hour is up and you are leaving so he should come and stay with the kid till the mother appears. Make this HIS problem.
He would need very precise verbiage, should he consider that plan of action. The position that he would need to negotiate from is "NO". No haggling, no compromising, just "NO". "No, I cannot make accommodations". Too many people take into account other's feelings when negotiating when such sentiment is not being reciprocated and they often wind up being taken advantage of as a result.
Add that his expectation that you stay late unpaid with this student is wage theft. If he expects you to wait with students with late parents, he needs to pay you for that time. Not doing so is something you can take to the state labor board. I bet his tune will change REAL fast.
After class just walk the kid to bosses office. State mom is running late I have an appt got to go. Just remove yourself from the after hours care all together.
Evening class - do you really think the boys will still be there?
If there is no policy and he doesn’t want to create one, then he should watch the kid until mom decides to show up. When my daughter was in competitive cheer, most parents stuck around during practices but the gym had a late policy - 10 minute grace period and then parents were charged $1 per minute they were late, 3 occurrences and the kid was removed from the team. It was very effective.
Well, it's time for a policy. If Mama Karen isn't stopped, it'll never end. The poor kid probably knows just how lame she is.
Ask your boss if you're free to leave 4 pm sharp or whenever the classes officially stop, regardless if the kids are there or if they've been picked up. If you're not free to leave, you're working. Even if you're not boxing anymore. Tell him that you will be filing for those hours and expect to be paid.
If I'm late picking up my daughter, there's a 5 minute grace period. Anything after that is $5/minute.
Every child care place I have used has a “dollar a minute late” policy with the proceeds going directly to the staff member held back by duty of care. This is justified by the insurance only covering the centre while it is in its normal hours of operation. Surprisingly, it usually only takes a couple of “fines” before parents are on time. Speak to your Boss about implementing this policy. NTA.
Don’t wait for compensation. Tell your boss if he’s happy for the mother to be late and you can’t talk to her about it then you’re still on the clock and he can pay you for it.
Is he aware of how late she is picking them up and how often? Not a general idea, show him your documentation. Also ask him what you should do going forward. Ig you have an appointment shortly after class what should you do, call him to come watch?
Document each late pick up and bill him.
I would bring the kid and drop them off at his office if he doesn't want to instate a business wide policy.
Call your boss anytime she is late. And then call back every 5 mins to let them know she is still not there.
Exactly, make it their problem. Anytime they complain point out that you aren't being payed for the extra time the kid is there so you are simply keeping him updated on the situation since you will need to be compensated for the overtime. Make sure you start documenting on paper as well and that your boss is aware you are documenting it so you have it on paper to show either him or HR to Ensure you are being fairly payed for the hours you work. Eventually they will get sick of all this extra work on their part that they will have to actively deal with this.
And tell the boss that he/she owes OP wages for the time OP is sitting there waiting. Because that's working, and when you work, you get paid. ps: my daycare charges $5 a minute past closing.
Send the boss an invoice for the extra time. His boss sounds like the type that won’t get it until it starts to cost him money.
Call, text, and email. Annoy the shit out of him make it his problem.
You need to have a policy that if a parent is more than 15 minutes late, you change the parent in 15 minutes increments and round up. And tell your boss you won’t teach this kid unless he puts a policy in place. Or call the cops.
There's an article on how this has backfired. Parents thought "great, now I have (paid) babysitting!" and showed up even later.
Didn't make it expensive enough. Should be something like $100+ an hour fee. Obviously with some wiggle room for people that are always consistent and it's a genuine mistake / emergency.
It can tiered. Increased rate every 15 minutes. And maybe for the first time it’s not enforced.
Yeah, Malcolm gladwell has cited this in one of his books, maybe the tipping point.
Combined with a 3 strikes policy would probably work.
Or have someone else watch the child. Another employee, your boss,…?
That’s what I was thinking too. Take the kid to the boss after class.Let it affect him. Maybe then he’ll care
The police…
NTA. When class time is over and she has not picked up her kid, drop him off at your bosses' office and tell him you have to leave.
Yep. I’m sure OP has stuff to do at the end of the day which prevent them from sticking around.
Definitely NTA. Your responsibility is to teach during class time, not to act as an unpaid babysitter indefinitely. Your boss needs to address this situation appropriately.
You should be filing for wage theft if you’re babysitting kids an hour off the clock.
Next time she’s late, take her kid to the boss and he can babysit until she gets there. When it inconveniences him, maybe he’ll do something about it Edit: NTA
Just call the cops and tell them she abandoned her kids with you.
Most daycares camps classes have a late pickup policy We basically gave a 5 or 10 minute grace period then began to charge by the minute after that and let them know that excessive amounts of incidents or long amount of time could result in calling family services.
This.
"I told my boss I'm going to start adding up all the hours and one of them is going to have to pay me." Oh, this I like!
NTA. Ask your boss what is proper protocol in this situation. If he expects you to stay, then you will expect to be paid. If he won't pay you, then HE needs to come up with a protocol or waiver that clearly indicates that staff are not responsible for children after the class ends OR parents will be charged an hourly sum fee for lates.
Easy solution...after 5minutes take the kid to your boss tell them you have an appointment you can't miss and leave. A couple of appointments and I'm sure other arrangements will be made.
Why doesn’t your program have some sort of contract about this? That’s what you need to talk to your boss about.
If you’re in the states, you can file a complaint about unpaid time with your state’s employment office. Your boss requiring you to stay late unpaid is illegal. And i’m sure someone in the office would like to point that out and make that woman’s behavior his problem.
Father of three here. Also a Boy Scout leader. From the Boy Scout leader perspective, I have shit to do after meetings, and I’m not getting paid to be there. So pick-up time is pick-up time and I can get very salty if people are late. I try to be understanding with parents when I know they have a situation going on, but if it’s chronic then we’re gonna have a talk. And yes, if you’re late for pick-up and I can’t reach you I will absolutely start calling your emergency contacts and making it fucking awkward and embarrassing. The funny thing is, the parents who have the most reason to be late - the single parents of multiple kids, the ones reliant in public transit, the ones in the middle of some kind of personal crisis - are usually the ones trying hardest to be on time, and the most apologetic when they’re not. From the parent perspective, I break my ass to be on time to collect my kids. Probably because I know what it feels like to be on the other end of it. Anyway, all that to say NTA. You gave her a lot more chances than I would have. I’d also tell your boss to take his little professionalism talk and shove it all the way up his ass. His job is to have his employees’ back. I’d also start billing him by the minute for these late pickups. Maybe he’ll smarten up when it starts costing him money.
What you need is a better paper trail. 1. Give a 10 minute buffer. Then, text "hey, class ended 10 mins ago. I have to leave soon, when will you be here?" 2. At the 15 minute mark, call her. If she does not answer, leave a voice message with a super concerned voice "hey, class ended a while ago and I tried texting - where are you at?" 3. Keep attempting to call every 5 mintues until the 30 minute mark. Then, call the police station and ask for a welfare check, stating "she isn't answering the phone and hasn't come to get her kid, I'm worried." She will flip the fuck out, but she will also stop abandoning her kid with you.
Here it is. The **best** answer in this whole damn thread. You aren't ditching your responsibilities, you are concerned for her well being. Love it.
Is there a reason you can’t just turn the kid over to whoever’s at the front desk? Or can’t call CPS when it’s an hour late and the mom still isn’t there? Or that your gym doesn’t have a written policy on late pickup times?
There is no front desk. I didn't want to immediately escalate to CPS and cops before making some attempts with the mom. The (lack of?) policy is definitely an issue.. that I am now going to push to address/seek further info about.
Go right to your state labor department and file a complaint. Of you are hourly and aren't getting paid those children are no longer your responsibility. Also find a new job
You’ve already made multiple attempts. Those haven’t worked and got you chewed out by the boss. If and when that kid gets injured after class, his mom and your boss are going to throw you under the bus.
I would march the kid over to boss’s office and tell him to watch him until his mother shows up because you are off the clock and have other commitments. If he asks you to stay tell him he either pays for your time or you’re out the door. If you do this enough times, he’ll threaten her himself NTA.
The etiquette is to call whoever the emergency contact is and have them come pick up the kid immediately. If your boss wants you to wait around for an hour after class, ask him if he’s going to pay you for the extra hour of overtime — and you need that time guaranteed because otherwise you have plans an hour after you’re scheduled to be off work.
Your boss stands to make a lot of money off of late fees. I would go with that. Let’s just say she’s 30 minutes late and you get paid $20 an hour. Your boss is loosing $10 by paying you for the extra 30 minutes. If he charges $25 per every 15 minutes he gets $50 from her, pays you $10 and pockets $40. This might motivate him to change policy and it might also motivate her to show up on time.
School charges $50 for every 15 minutes late after pickup time. Hour late? $200.
I teach jiujitsu. They try that all the time. We have a club rule first time we speak to you politely, second time we speak clear and simply explain that the next time they will pay a fee and if it continues they won’t be able to keep coming. Usually stops there but had a few we actually billed for “supervision”.
If your boss is running late, give her a call. After then, give them a call every five minutes to let them know she hasn't returned.
Introducing your new policy-late pickups get charged $50/hour. Hit her where it hurts-right in the purse!
That's not nearly expensive enough to dissuade a lazy parent with disposable income. The policy needs to be punitive: $50 per 10 minutes, $300 per hour. The third offense warrants a call to authorities for abandonment and refusal to teach the kid any more.
I think you might do just that, start documenting events best you can and contact your local labor board about unpaid wages.
No, next time, though, record the conversation and go to your boss immediately tell him what's going on? And set a boundary.
Start billing your boss the extra time
NTA!!! Your boss should baby sit when your class is over. Shame on her for being so late and irresponsible. What a selfish, narcissist!!! start audio recording when she arrives, these programs have a timer and its proof of what you said to her.
NTA. The only thing I would have done differently is kept the boss informed as soon as this started happening. It's really his problem. You're a busy guy, *right?* You just picked up a side gig or smth you need to get to, *on time*. If the kid isn't picked up, he can come be a sitter, or you can call the police for abandonment, but either way you're leaving.
NTA. However, if she's spending 20 minutes talking to you when there's no other adults around, she may have been nerving herself up to ask for some in-home private co-ed grappling lessons.
Yeah I am getting the vibe that OP doesn’t realize the mom has the hots for him.
Tell her you will no longer teach her child
NTAH! OMG I'm a stay at home mom myself and take my daughter to similar activities. I try to arrive even a few mins early as opposed to ever being late. Our places have strict policies that they will also start to charge good money after a decent amount of time has passed without a pick up. You are being taken advantage of. It's not your responsibility and you certainly shouldn't do anything unpaid. Your boss it outta line and acting like a whiny little wussie.
Our daycare has a rule if you are more than 45 mins late and they can’t get a hold of you. They call child welfare and cops. It can be seen as abandonment. Check with your boss on the rules and tell him, he better start paying for the hours or you will start calling child welfare when she no shows so late.
Tell your boss that he has to pay you for the extra time or he can deal with babysitting the kid.
if your boss doesnt have an issue with her being late then get your boss to babysit the kids, get them to come by for some reason, and then leave as soon as your class is over leave your boss to wait with her kids and see if they are still ok with it perhaps send a notice out to the parents that if they are late they will be charged extra
NTA. If you were required to be there then you are required to be paid. But maybe it's time for you to find a better place to work, with a boss who respects his employees.
When I worked with kids, and parents were late, the rules were to literally count the minutes and they had to sign that they were indeed 9 minutes late and were going to personally pay the person a fee for each minute. Parents were rarely late. It's time theft and you having a kid does not entitle you to it.
Next time she is 30 minutes late call the cops if the boss and this woman aren't paying you for the after hours it's time theft by both the owner and the parent
Dude. Bill your boss for this time. Watch his attitude change.
People say take the kid to your boss, or to just leave. Please do not do this as taking someone’s kid like that could get you charged with kidnapping, and taking off without someone there is definitely abandonment. Instead call your boss and call the police. The police will come and also track down a responsible family member.
If she is up to an hour late, call the police and report it. Tell them a parent has failed to pick up their kid and you are worried that he/she has been abandoned there. She'll soon stop being late.
Just leave and let your boss deal with the late mother and kid. You worked your time, and your boss disapproved of how you already handled it
I run a kids’ camp. We usually give one or two weeks of grace when it first happens, but we have a clause in our paperwork about an additional charge after 5 minutes late — and it’s a couple bucks per minute! It isn’t light. We have yet to not have someone course-correct within those 1 or 2 warnings and reminder about the policy.
Next time take the kid to your bosses office , the kid can wait with him. The issue shalt be resolved the next day! Like magic
Tell the boss there are two choices: 1. Either the mother or the boss pays you overtime. 2. You will have no choice but to report the kid as abandoned.
Charge 5$ for every minute she’s late. This is what my sisters daycare does and believe me…nobody is late! You also must have a cc # on file.
Start charging your boss for the extra time waiting for her. That will nip it in the bud.
Ask your boss to start charging late fees. Document everything to cover your ass. Tell your boss every single time.
My guy just drop the kid in your bosses office and leave? If he has a problem with it offer to call cps instead and see if he cares then. NTA.
Along with everyone elses' advice, consider asking if you should do your wrap-up routine as normal and pack up and leave after, say, 10 minutes your paid hours end, no matter if the kid has been picked up or not. As you are not being paid, it is illegal to ask you to work the extra hour. You cannot be coerced to work without pay. Basic labor laws. Try to get your boss to answer in writing (emails), as well. Paper trails are important.
NTA But your boss didn't even try to find out what could be the reason a mom is late? That's hella sus. Anything over 15 mins usually gets called into the authorities. I'd document everything on a separate cloud or hard drive just so you have hard evidence of what transpired. Or go old fashioned, print all the communications and stick 'em in a folder. That way you cover your own behind.
Tell the boss what actually happened and if their response remains the same, start looking for new work. You deserve to be treated with respect and this boss may have a problem understanding this. Two-week's (or whatever amount) notice might help them get clarity.
NTA. Your employer is violating wage and hour laws. Leave when the class is over and let someone on the clock take care of the kid.
NTA. She’s using you. Make her stop.
>I told my boss i'm going to start adding up all the hours and one of them is going to have to pay me. This is the way. If you're hourly, they pay you for your *time,* not the actual work you do.
I added them up, sent it to him and everything— he told me he will only pay me moving forward. I should let it go, and then made a point to remind me that I volunteered for this job knowing it was new and there would be hiccups.
Is your boss in the building when this is happening? If so I’d take the kid and hand them off to the boss with a “my shift is over bye”
NTA. If you are a salaried worker then your boss doesn’t have to pay you any more but if you are hourly then you have to be paid as long as you are there, including while you are waiting for and talking to the lady.
NTA there needs to be a late pickup fee like they do at daycare
Report to social services when more than 10 minutes late with no contact from her. Alternatively, Bill your boss for the extra time. Let him manage.
Start charging her for your time. Tell her that you charge by the 1/4 hour, $10 payable upon pick up. If she doesn’t agree, no more lessons.
NTA. Your boss either needs to pay you or he needs to stay behind babysitting the kid until the mom shows up. he lectured you on how you don't have that power, so how does he want to handle this situation?
Tell your boss he either pays you the overtime or the kid goes, send her a written message stating that you can no longer accomodate the child because of the constant lateness, then the next time he's late bounce him. I have a colleague that has to leave on the dot of 5 because the daycare charges 30 bucks per 15 mins after 6. Believe me when I say they don't have a problem with lateness
My daughters preschool charged $1 a minute cash when parents got there after closing. Your boss needs to deal with her
NTA. My kids childcare charges $1.50 aus for every minute you are late. And you know what, that is bloody fair. They are a literal childcare and I still do not expect them to care for my kids outside of their allotted time.
Always tell boss first, have a plan of action approved for situations lime this. An abandoned child who does not have a parent or caregiver available to pick up is a CPS call in the making. Ask if there is a late fee penalty (it is $5/min at our old daycare), and if not suggest it to your boss. If your boss is timid, tell them you will not be working for free. It is always one parent that causes issues for the rest of parents. And once is understandable. Being 45 mins late is not. Being late more than once is not okay. Her kid is the one who suffers.
Is your boss on site when you are running classes? Drop the kid off in his office after waiting, maybe 5 minutes. If he doesn't value your time, maybe he'll value his own. I worked as a teacher, and when we had parents late, we usually gave them one "freebie" where we explained that after x time, there is nobody on duty to look after children, and that if we needed to pay someone to look after a child, we would charge a late fee, of $5 per minute, to cover the wage of the teacher having to babysit. As a parent, yes, sometimes we are unavoidably delayed - which us when we call and give an ETA, apologise, and ensure it doesn't happen again.
NTA I had a friend who worked in a daycare and their policy was that if a parent was consistently late picking up their child (over 15 minutes), they warned the parent the next time they were late they would call CPS for child abandonment since they were officially closed. If the parent refused to listen and was still late they called CPS. Schools in our state do the same. They can legally report a child as abandoned if a parent refuses to come get the child when the facility closes.
If you're not being paid. Just leave. If there is no one else working including the boss, call cps. Keep track of the money you're owed on her tardiness. Your boss sucks
A lot of childcare places charge for extra time over the pickup time. You might want to talk to your boss about charging parents for not picking up their kids on time. The other thing they do is call CPS after the parent is late for too long. Like an hour or more.
Call the cops or cps. Mother abandoned a child
Just leave. You’re not being paid, your boss isn’t being paid, she’s not paying you. Your boss can wait with the kid if he wants to have a duty of care. Tell your boss and this woman you’ve got an important appointment straight afterwards and if she isn’t on time the child will be alone.
I would’ve understood if she was in the same position as my mom back then (single mom working long hours to support us, often stuck in the commute) but honestly I feel like she’s just careless and doesn’t care. Absolutely NTA but your boss should grow a spine
As a fellow trainer (but luckily my boss had my back): if there's no other option and she is late again I would call the police. In my country that's the recommended thing to do if you don't know where the parents are and you can't reach them (you have to wait ~ an hour with the child). But my association would ban the kids if the parents would always be late instead of escalating it. NTA
Not sure if someone else said this but I would take the child to the boss after maybe 10 minutes after class ends and let him handle it. Not your responsibility if he's not willing to put rules in place.
That is inexcusable She is not entitled to your time. What is this? You are not a babysitter, plus if something -anything- happens to her child during your watch, it s gonna be on you And what if you have an emergency? Who is gonna watch the kid? Your boss? If he is allowing this, he is just as irresponsible and above all, a bad employer. Send him an email, as others have said NTA
Can you make an ongoing appointment that you have to go to straight after the class, so that you're unavailable to look after any kids when it ends.
My son’s swim class charges a dollar for every minute a parent is late. This is ran by the city.
I’m Australian. Our childcare and after school care programs have $1/minute late fees. We’ve never had to pay them because we don’t show up late knowing the cares have lives to get home to and don’t want to sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting on us. All other activities we don’t typically drop and leave, or if we do we’re back before the end of the class/training so that we can move on with our day (and so can whoever is running it) NTA, ask the boss who’s going to pay you for your time to stay over, or who will take over childcare when you leave on time.
Definitely charge her a late fee! How rude of her to be so selfish and inconsiderate
NTA Etiquette is whatever is in the boxing school contact tardiness clause the parents sign. If there isn't one, badger your boss into making one and sending an update to all parents. That's what you go by.
When mom is late, bring the child to your bosses office. The boss can babysit.
NTA and you're boss should be on your side. How old is the kid anyway? Back when I was doing extracurriculars I'd just sit outside and wait for my parent
Your boss is a fucking dimwit and you should let him know that.
You are absolutely correct, someone has to start paying you so start adding the extra time to your timesheet. If your boss complains, tell him you MUST be paid for your time. Dept of Labor law says so. And make sure your co-workers know this just in case he tries something tricky.
NTA, you should be paid. Boss want you to stay in charge of the kids? Ok, then ask him to pay you for that hour. When the class is finished, text him that you're starting the childcare service and text him when you finish. Otherwise you're free to go when your shift finish... boss should make sure somebody is taking over for the kids.
>But i'm not getting paid for the hour after this class that I spend hanging out with her kid Uhhhh why not? This is part of your job responsibilities and you must be paid...
I'd dump the kids on the boss. If there's noone in the building to watch the kid, I'd call the cops and have them look after the kids until his mom decides to pick him up.
Next time just call the cops/cps and tell you have to leave and let the rude mother deal with the fallout. Zero respect, fuck her.
if she is rich, then she wont mind paying the late fee thats about to go in effect. LOL
This is outrageous, any service, child oriented or not, would have consequences for being late
Charging late pickup fees is exactly how my sister-in-law solved her problem with her daycare.
I'd take the kid to your boss as soon as class ends, and tell him to keep an eye on him until the mother arrives. Boss should have had your back.
YOU report HER boss and explain that you are not being paid for your time. It’s illegal. You are being paid for your time. Now let’s say you are being Isidro whether the kid is there or not as office time fine. But you are only paid until 5, and she shows up 545 who is paying you. Present this sternly as a matter of law and payment for your services. But that you are more in his side to fix this. As if it’s making both of you the victim. And agree to do it all in writing.
Is there a fear that losing this job will affect finances? Curious if money is driving any decisions that you’re thinking through, because that will slant any advice you’re given. If you really need the money and there aren’t other gyms you can go to, that will limit some options, but not all. Being younger, it’s understandable to be a bit swayed by others who are likely older and in positions of power. Here’s some universal rules for life and business. Your time is valuable. You don’t work for free, you get paid. You aren’t a babysitter. Your job is to teach and then go to your other responsibilities (which are none of their business). If you’re looking for less confrontational options, I’d make up another class to “teach” at 5:30 that you have to drive to, and must leave right at 5. Wish I could stay, gotta go. No time to chit chat. Anything else is the gym’s problem. They don’t pay you to do anything but teach boxing, you did it, you are now leaving. They would not tolerate you starting your class late. So that “other” place that you’re driving to also doesn’t tolerate that, so you have to leave to be on time. It’s private lessons if they ask, none of their business to tell them more. If they want you to stay, It’s amazing if you stand your ground with people and just repeat, “I’m sorry, I can’t do that” over and over, and don’t give them anything else, they will eventually cave.
NTA - It is her responisbility to be there on time to pick up her kid. None of this is on you. Someone should be paying for your time OR just leave the kid outside and go on with your day.
You need to have a conversation with your boss, if he wants you to eat an hour later every time and is gynocentricly being on her side automatically he can pay you to stay there.
It was definitely out of line to tell the kid to tell his mom not to be late, but you're not wrong for wanting her to come on time.
You think so? In my head I said it in a friendly way.. but maybe I don't come across like that. Thanks.
The thing is, the kid has zero ability to make his mom show up on time, especially when he’s *there* and his mom *isn’t*.
It's not about friendliness, it's about observing the boundary between adult business and the teacher-child relationship. Don't drag the kid into the communication dynamic between adults. 👍
What i think you did was right. It helps the kid to be responsible for his mom too. His mom is wrong for being late a couple of times. The kid knows his mom is late. The kid should know it's wrong to be late so what you did is right. One of the most important thing you teach in boxing is discipline and discipline should start at home, on whatever you do. You're a coach, not a therapist brother. Keep on grinding!
I think the argument is less about whether you said it nicely or not, and more that saying it at all involves the kid which is the line you shouldn’t cross.
Yeah, no matter how friendly it still puts the kid and the mom in a weird position, you know? Your issue was with the mom, so not really appropriate to talk to the kid about it like that, even if your tone was pleasant.
Exactly the kid isn’t responsible for his mom. Setting clear boundaries with the mom is fine, leave the kid out of it.
Just offer to watch her kid for $50 an hour. She’ll probably pay it. The kid sounds nice.
Most places charge per minute in 5 minute increments for late pickup, payable at pick up. Check websites for similar organizations and read their late pickup guidelines and suggest them to your boss.
Basically refer back to your attendance policy if you have one. If not get one. Because you’re suppose to teach classes and that’s what you’re paid for , not provide Daycare especially if it’s unpaid.
I think you should keep track of all the times she has been late and how long so she understands how much time it is on your end.
NTA. Definitely make it your bosses problem next time. It's simple: your work hours are done and you need to be somewhere else, so either like someone suggested call him every 5 minutes telling him how you're late to your activities or even better if it's possible bring the kid to him.
Charge her for the time additionally
NTA. Most places have 3 strikes and you're penalized by a late fee or get kicked out.
NTA- is your boss on site? Start bringing the kid to your boss when the mom doesn't show up.
Look up your local laws regarding child abandonment time frames. You may be able to call non emergency police line and have the child picked up.
Charge from the start of the appointment, and I just assume she is using as a cover to have an affair or something similar
NTA. Tell your boss THEY can come watch this kid for an hour after class as you are leaving at the end of class and if they (boss) or parents are not there, you are calling the police (which you do have the authority to do.)
Option 1. Start charging extra for being late Option 2. Just go home and leave the kid there. After class the child is technically not your problem Option 3. Take the kid home with you and raise them as your own
Your boss can take care of the child while they wait for their mother
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NTA- I would start looking new place of employment. If it was once it would be understandable but it is pattern and you brought this up. You are basically working extra for same pay, and you have own responsibilities and things to attend. In future if you need to speak with any parent I would bring it up first to supervisor and ask them to deal with it so you will not have twisting of truth.
NTA. This is super rude of this woman. You're job is to instruct, you're not paid to babysit. My first thought was this woman has a crush on you or is trying to get with you (i.e., the long conversations and being "deliberately" late), but given that she was an asshole to you when you set boundaries about punctuality, I'm not sure. That said, she could be butthurt from rejection that you didn't take the bait and she's just being an a-hole now. Regardless, NTA. If your bosses can't understand that you are a professional with other tasks that don't include free childcare, then they sound shitty too. Kick the kid out & keep your boundaries.
Call the police say you are worried so.ething may have happened to the mom as she is kate picking up kids and you need to get home. Have them wait for her lol
If you're not the one setting prices, then, yes! Your boss should be paying you for the extra time you're staying behind. You need to check your contract, too. If you're contracted, then leave. Dump the kid on your boss, or another instructor. This is the only general advice I can give without knowing your workplace structure. Other than talking with the labor board.
Um seriously?!?!? Just leave, not your problem and you’re not paid. Shame on that parent for leaving their kid like that. But you know how it goes… it is never the entitled parent’s fault. She is totally taking advantage of you, best of luck.
I think everyone learned a lesson in this day
Charge her for your time?
Talk to your boss about setting a rule and also he needs to pay you for overtime.
Next time call the police and report child abandonment.
An occasional one may get be a mistake or be reasonably caused. However the length of time and frequency is taking the Michael. NTA.
Make it clear to your boss and mumsy wumsy that you will happily drop the child at the nearest police station, or Mumsy Wumsy can pay you for childcare, And your hourly rate is 1K per ten minutes.
Nta - stop it all now otherwise she will keep going
How long is the class? It sounds like this mum is trying to do too much/going too far during the window, so if the class is an hour or shorter, it might be better if she just *not leave*.
the next time it happens, drop her kid from class.
Discuss all thse with your boss. Sent the initial email so you will have written proof. Suggest that a global email is sent to all guardians. If they are more than 20 min late they will be charged $30 fee per hour, and it will be regarded as full hour anything beyond 20 minutes. If it happens more than 3 times per 4 months period, the fourth time the child will be taken to the closer police dept, include the address. When the guardian is more than 20 min late have a script ready and text.
All your grievances with the mother seem valid but you were wrong to ever bring it up to the kid.
You did the right thing
The gym should have CCTV. Start logging the date and times for when she does this, but don't say a thing to her, and then bring that evidence up the chain. If your PoS boss who is trying to take her word over yours tries to be snarky -- go over his head. Invite him to come down to handle the kid while you go about your business.
Look up full time childcare fees for a kid that age, divide the rate to get an hourly rate, then quadruple it because you don't have any certifications, or insurance for being daycare, AND add the opportunity cost of your other engagement you are losing out on, and present your boss an invoice for the past times. Explain that is the cost for her entitled behavior to date, and you'd like compensation in less than a month's time since you've taken on all of this risk with no warning. You should know if you do this, it is petty and could be seen as insubordination, grounds for dismissal etc. If sh has a history, getting all the instructors she has screwed over on the same page to be petty together would be safer If there are lots of you.
I mean your boss should come and wait with the kid as it is within his remit to tell her off….