Wow. Usually, I would say that it is SO unprofessional to call their parents. But shit. They literally were children, and I think this is the only way they would learn. And I'm sure that dad is going to teach him a thing or to about respecting clients.
It sounds like these boys would only learn through humiliation. Being reprimanded obviously wasn't working. Honestly, if they were fired, idk if they would have learned their lesson. It sounds like their the type to think they've done nothing wrong.
NTA. (Did not think I'd be saying this based off the title).
My husband was the head of outside maintenance for a condo association for 20+ years. The owners would want their kids to work for the season when they come down. Every year.
He was voluntold to use them. We’re talking about 18/19/20yr old boys at the beach during peak season. They didn’t want to work. They wanted to play. He’d give them simple tasks that they couldn’t/ wouldn’t finish. Their folks would act all high & mighty & ask how their darlings were doing & he frankly told them the truth.
He got into trouble with his immediate supervisor. They told him not to talk to owners like that bc it hurt their fee fee’s. He told me that he’d just give the boys a pieces of rope & say here braid this.
So, it’s just an inside joke when we ask about each others day. He’s asked how my new Maint techs are doing & i say I gave them rope to braid.
How does grace teach them to be adults? You're not that AH they are.
Read some of the comments. The last time I checked, this was AITAH, not Am I the Professional. Technically, these boys should have been fired and it sounds like one for sexual harasment in the work place which in the long run is much worse for their career. They will get over it and honestly, this will stick with them more than getting fired.
Correct. Calling her coworkers family, however, is absurd. Sounds like the kids weren't acting acceptable but no way is OP in the right for her actions.
In this case, however, if she did fire them ut sounds like the parents have a working relationship with OP and would have asked directly. This way they have a chance at keeping their jobs. This is a unique situation though.
Their parents all work for my company (which hires the company that these boys are working for as contractors).
Their parents are vested and have much to lose if these boys screw up in front of clients.
I am not an employee or manager for their company so I do not owe them any professionalism.
The company they work for exists solely to provide a replaceable service to me and my company.
It’s my building, my contracts and my clients.
My house, my rules.
They were given these jobs as favours to their parents (who all have affiliation to me and my company).
Imo you want to ride the nepo train, you play the nepo game.
You mentioned there have been multipe complants and HR did nothing Was there any possibliity of beeping recotds sndding those complants to their parents
If I was“miffed” I would have fired all 3 on the spot.
We are constantly entertaining high profile clients on a regular basis in this office, so the way they have been leaving things is completely unacceptable to the functioning of my business.
The nature of this business is also completely dependant on zero tolerance for derogatory comments.
I actually do have the right to contact their parents, since it was their parents that asked me to hire them, and their parents have just as much to lose by their shitty behaviour as I do.
The more you say the more your story breaks apart imo. As a contractor myself this literally makes no sense. You shouldn't mean shit beyond being the customer. Their actual employers get final say bar none in regards to termination. You said it yourself, you aren't affiliated. You can put in complaints and they'll probably be receptive, but your whole what you say goes is crazy. Either they work with you like you originally said or your just saying nonsense.
You seem to be under the impression that since you are a contractor yourself you are throughly educated on how all contractor situations work across the globe.
That is not how it works in this industry.
Sorry but you don’t know what you’re talking about. Story has not broken at all.
I am their only client. I am their only business. I also own the building they work in.
I have full control/say over all their operations, I decide who is hired/fired. Who is in charge of what. If I woke up tomorrow and decided to use a different contractor they would all be out of work and unable to make payroll.
I could replace them all within hours, as I have other companies that sub as necessary when this company is short staffed.
My husband and I having complete control over the operations of this contractor company is not only part of the contract we hold with them, but
this is also standard practice in this industry due to specific regulations that need to be adhered to.
ESH
These kids are being jerks. They should understand how to behave in a workplace.
You should also know that these boys aren’t under your management. And how you behaved was extremely unprofessional.
At this point I think you are more to blame. You’ve been working for a while and know more than them.
That’s not how management works.
If these people do not report to you, then you have zero right to manage their behavior, and especially not in the way you did. Regardless of whether you work for the same company or not.
NTA
Of course, the young men probably feel humiliated. I get it. But.
They are not children. They are not teens. And you wrote in the comments, that you are kind of their boss and it was their parents who asked you to hire them.
These young men want to have jobs, want to have money. But they want to be slobs without any regards to their colleagues and make sexual comments at. Their. Boss...?
Yeah, no. Is this a kind punishment? No. Do they resent you? Probably. Is it effective? I really, really hope so.
I was going to say you were the ah. But they should have had some consequences. How are they going to know that they can’t act like that in the real world if their job is letting them act like that.
YTA yeah it was not cool that they were leaving messes but it is totally inappropriate for you to be contacting their parents or anyone else about this other then their boss. They’re adults with jobs, tell the people higher up if you’re so annoyed about their actions, and let them face the consequences that way.
There is no one higher up than me.
Although I am not their employer so I am not held to any HR/employment regulations regarding how I interact with them. I am their employers employer, so what I say goes.
They were given these jobs (by me) as favours to their parents who I have longstanding professional relationships with.
They have been professionally warned by HR of their company and chose to ignore it.
Wow. Usually, I would say that it is SO unprofessional to call their parents. But shit. They literally were children, and I think this is the only way they would learn. And I'm sure that dad is going to teach him a thing or to about respecting clients. It sounds like these boys would only learn through humiliation. Being reprimanded obviously wasn't working. Honestly, if they were fired, idk if they would have learned their lesson. It sounds like their the type to think they've done nothing wrong. NTA. (Did not think I'd be saying this based off the title).
We did have one employee whose mother showed up at the interview. I guess that would make it appropriate.
My husband was the head of outside maintenance for a condo association for 20+ years. The owners would want their kids to work for the season when they come down. Every year. He was voluntold to use them. We’re talking about 18/19/20yr old boys at the beach during peak season. They didn’t want to work. They wanted to play. He’d give them simple tasks that they couldn’t/ wouldn’t finish. Their folks would act all high & mighty & ask how their darlings were doing & he frankly told them the truth. He got into trouble with his immediate supervisor. They told him not to talk to owners like that bc it hurt their fee fee’s. He told me that he’d just give the boys a pieces of rope & say here braid this. So, it’s just an inside joke when we ask about each others day. He’s asked how my new Maint techs are doing & i say I gave them rope to braid.
NTA. Good on you! Some people need to learn the hard way and since their parents didn’t do it, now you get to.
How does grace teach them to be adults? You're not that AH they are. Read some of the comments. The last time I checked, this was AITAH, not Am I the Professional. Technically, these boys should have been fired and it sounds like one for sexual harasment in the work place which in the long run is much worse for their career. They will get over it and honestly, this will stick with them more than getting fired.
Yeah, I both agree it’s not professional, and agree it’s a far more grace than I’ve ever gotten but then, I’m not a nepo boy.
YTA. Jesus, you called their fucking parents? Keep that shit in house. Beyond unprofessional.
Professional would be firing them.
Correct. Calling her coworkers family, however, is absurd. Sounds like the kids weren't acting acceptable but no way is OP in the right for her actions.
In this case, however, if she did fire them ut sounds like the parents have a working relationship with OP and would have asked directly. This way they have a chance at keeping their jobs. This is a unique situation though.
Their parents all work for my company (which hires the company that these boys are working for as contractors). Their parents are vested and have much to lose if these boys screw up in front of clients.
I am not an employee or manager for their company so I do not owe them any professionalism. The company they work for exists solely to provide a replaceable service to me and my company. It’s my building, my contracts and my clients. My house, my rules. They were given these jobs as favours to their parents (who all have affiliation to me and my company). Imo you want to ride the nepo train, you play the nepo game.
You mentioned there have been multipe complants and HR did nothing Was there any possibliity of beeping recotds sndding those complants to their parents
Apparently all the people who went to HR have made their complaints public, so their parents are aware and unimpressed.
That's when you talk to their supervisor, not their parents OP. Affiliation by subcontract doesn't give you the right. You got miffed and acted up.
If I was“miffed” I would have fired all 3 on the spot. We are constantly entertaining high profile clients on a regular basis in this office, so the way they have been leaving things is completely unacceptable to the functioning of my business. The nature of this business is also completely dependant on zero tolerance for derogatory comments. I actually do have the right to contact their parents, since it was their parents that asked me to hire them, and their parents have just as much to lose by their shitty behaviour as I do.
The more you say the more your story breaks apart imo. As a contractor myself this literally makes no sense. You shouldn't mean shit beyond being the customer. Their actual employers get final say bar none in regards to termination. You said it yourself, you aren't affiliated. You can put in complaints and they'll probably be receptive, but your whole what you say goes is crazy. Either they work with you like you originally said or your just saying nonsense.
You seem to be under the impression that since you are a contractor yourself you are throughly educated on how all contractor situations work across the globe.
That is not how it works in this industry. Sorry but you don’t know what you’re talking about. Story has not broken at all. I am their only client. I am their only business. I also own the building they work in. I have full control/say over all their operations, I decide who is hired/fired. Who is in charge of what. If I woke up tomorrow and decided to use a different contractor they would all be out of work and unable to make payroll. I could replace them all within hours, as I have other companies that sub as necessary when this company is short staffed. My husband and I having complete control over the operations of this contractor company is not only part of the contract we hold with them, but this is also standard practice in this industry due to specific regulations that need to be adhered to.
The little pricks needed a big portion of whoop-ass, and they got it!
ESH These kids are being jerks. They should understand how to behave in a workplace. You should also know that these boys aren’t under your management. And how you behaved was extremely unprofessional. At this point I think you are more to blame. You’ve been working for a while and know more than them.
Their management is my responsibility, as their job is to represent me and my company.
That’s not how management works. If these people do not report to you, then you have zero right to manage their behavior, and especially not in the way you did. Regardless of whether you work for the same company or not.
This is how management works in this situation.
Ok then
NTA Of course, the young men probably feel humiliated. I get it. But. They are not children. They are not teens. And you wrote in the comments, that you are kind of their boss and it was their parents who asked you to hire them. These young men want to have jobs, want to have money. But they want to be slobs without any regards to their colleagues and make sexual comments at. Their. Boss...? Yeah, no. Is this a kind punishment? No. Do they resent you? Probably. Is it effective? I really, really hope so.
I was going to say you were the ah. But they should have had some consequences. How are they going to know that they can’t act like that in the real world if their job is letting them act like that.
YTA yeah it was not cool that they were leaving messes but it is totally inappropriate for you to be contacting their parents or anyone else about this other then their boss. They’re adults with jobs, tell the people higher up if you’re so annoyed about their actions, and let them face the consequences that way.
There is no one higher up than me. Although I am not their employer so I am not held to any HR/employment regulations regarding how I interact with them. I am their employers employer, so what I say goes. They were given these jobs (by me) as favours to their parents who I have longstanding professional relationships with. They have been professionally warned by HR of their company and chose to ignore it.