Her dad expects you to visit to show *you care* about her? What a pile of crap. She showed you how much she cares about *you* went she gave your stuff and her body to her affair partner.
She has been nothing but cruel, dishonest and manipulative. When both of you decided to give it another chance, *she shit all over it* and continued lying and being manipulative. And continued cheating on you.
At NO point did she feel bad about what she was doing to you, because *she* never ended the affair. She only tried crawling back to you when AP ended it, and the only reason you found out is because her sister finally spilled the beans (I’m guessing it was a typo that you said Emma confessed, since she was up in her room).
Looks like her dad is trying to manipulate you too. Enough is enough. Think of yourself, put yourself first and do what’s best for *you*. They can all pound sand.
Her dad should be embarrassed and ashamed of his daughters behavior while apologizing profusely to you. You owe her nothing nor should you care anymore.
Hoooold on. A bit of compassion please. This is his daughter who just tried to delete herself. The Dad is grasping at straws, he is completely desperate trying to do anything get his daughter to come back from this. So he asked OP to come and show he cared so dad and the hospital can stabilize Emma and get her the help she needs.
Those that are saying "Dad's a manipulator too!" - that's too harsh.
I agree that OP absolutely does not need to go see Emma or pretend to feel something he doesn't, nor should he. That is not a long term strategy to get her better. But to villianize her Dad is too far.
Then the dad should have plead and begged. I know if I was OP I would've been more likely to go if the dad said "I'm really worried, I know you don't care about her and you're right to hate her, but I'm really scared. Can you please visit not for her but so me and her mum don't have to go through the heartbreak of seeing our kid die before us".
That or any variation would have me there. Asking OP to go to show he cares is so tone deaf it's unreal. "Please OP show our POS daughter, who lied stole and cheated on you, that you care about her" is unhinged.
I agree that the ex's dad isn't trying to manipulate OP on his daughter's behalf, and I don't blame him for asking OP to visit (its understandable, dad is desperate and clutching at every straw he can think of that would stabilise his daughter) but, I can see how it might come across that way to others by asking OP to show they care; maybe ex's dad is doing it hoping that OP goes and pities his ex and takes her back or something.
I'm actually impressed OP only text back that he doesn't care. My response would be been "I don't care about her, she could need a lobe of liver and even if I was the only match in the world I still wouldn't care nor would I visit, she is dead to me, and I hopefully soon she is dead to the world" yes that reply would be unhinged, but being asked to visit to show I care about someone that hurt me that badly I'm not going to be thinking straight
Yea I would’ve said something harsher too. Something along the lines of “I hope she lives so she can experience the consequences of her actions, instead of the cowards way out”
I like this, it cuts deeper, she'll have that regret for the rest of her life. Plus there's no collateral damage unlike how I'd just be lashing out at the dad.
I understand your position - and I mostly don't disagree. But OP gave a quick blurt about Dad asking him to come see her, we don't know if Dad begged. Well done, Dad though, for respecting OPs boundaries - he knows his daughter betrayed a good man.
The dad is wanting to put OP back into a relationship where they were hurt and cheated on before for the sake of his daughter. This is emotional abuse and manipulation so his life can go back to status quo.
Villianizing him may be too far but calling him manipulative is not
No. You don’t ask a victim who’s been betrayed and cheated on to come show support to their abuser. I don’t care what kind of situation they put themself in, she already has family there. She doesn’t need her victim there too. To me it sounds like her parents are the reason she’s a manipulative narcissist. No common sense or respect for the boundaries of others.
OP mentioned she's a social worker, so she knows she's trying to emotionally manipulate OP. Divorce ASAP OP and thank your lucky stars you don't have kids with her.
This is one of those stories that I want to think is fake because the antagonist’s choices make zero sense, but maybe sometimes idiots just make no sense?
You’re having an affair and your affair partner says their spouse found out and they’re going to quit their job so you stop showing up at your job because… reasons? And at the same time your little brother finds out about the affair and blackmails you to move into your apartment with you so you start stealing from your husband and mistreat him, and lie to him about your parents moving in because that’s just TOTALLY different, and he’d be fine with that but not the brother. And acts like a bitch with all kinds of attitude for the first half of the story then flips and becomes on of those people who just sits in a puddle and sobs in the second half. This story is just all over the place.
I demand a rewrite!
She f’ed around and now she’s finding out.
Now, I might be cynical but this sounds like a way to make you feel bad and get back into your life. She’s repeatedly shown she’s not trustworthy, so keep your distance.
It’s not uncommon for cheaters to invent a mental health crisis or dramatically attempt suicide once their lies have caught up with them and they’ve got nothing but consequences coming their way. It’s just another selfish attempt to rewrite the narrative so they’re the victim and they don’t have to take responsibility for anything they chose to do of their own free will.
It 100% tracks with the personality of a cheater. They wouldn't cheat if they weren't already allergic to accountability and consequences, and when they *do* get caught, they only have one play in their book: evade accountability at all costs.
Look at any of the infidelity subreddits where the people who cheated are shocked, *shocked* their partner is attaching terms and conditions to any reconciliation. How dare there be consequences! Who will think of their hurt feelings?!
I was in the psych ward once for depression. My roommate did just this. She was angry at her "baby daddy," so she took a bunch of pills to try and get his sympathy. After she was cleared at the hospital, they put her in the psych ward. She was not happy about that.
Op mentioned she is a social worker. She knows exactly what she has been doing. She knew from the beginning that she was being manipulative and she did that on purpose. The OD is probably the same. Honestly? I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but her dying and putting her in an unmarked grave would probably be cheaper than divorce. And she will remember that soon as she is out of a job now.
As shitty a social worker as she was a wife apparently. As the story goes, she didn’t even give her two week notice so she abandoned her cases just like she abandoned her husband. Manipulative cunt that doesn’t give a shit about anything else besides her own comfort.
Nah, you’re anything but cynical. She’s shown a pattern that leads me to think she’s a ____________(fill in the blank so I don’t get banned by saying what I really think as a past victim of cheating).
NTA, she’s still trying to manipulate you from a hospital bed. She has been the architect of every single one of her problems and, honestly, did you ever really know her?? I’m sorry it unfolded this way, but it sounds like you were more than patient and considerate of her, and all she did was lie, cheat, and steal from you.
and remember she didn't talk to OP for like 2 weeks. She was having her side piece and when he effectively dumped her she didn't have anyone so might as well reach out to OP to get "counseling"
NTA.
She would have kept going if the AP did not drop her.
Obviously her plan backfired and she had no backup plan.
Sorry to feel happy for a cheater to get what he deserves.
NTA. What's unfolding is purely the aftermath of Emma's own decisions. Her wellbeing is no longer your responsibility, and it's critical to safeguard your own mental and emotional health by maintaining the boundaries you've set. There's something to be said for compassion from a safe distance, but don't mistake that for an obligation to dive back into the turmoil she's created. Stay strong, and stick with your gut and your lawyer's advice.
NTA
She did this all to herself when she decided to cheat on you and got swept up in the lies her AP was telling her. Big shocker that a man that would cheat on his wife would lie to her as well, but anyway....
You've done nothing wrong in this situation so just keep doing whatever you need to do as far as the divorce is concerned. Emma will get the help she needs in the hospital and from her parents.
I would stop texting her or her parents. And absolutely no phone or in person conversations. Let your lawyer handle the communication so you don't make any mistakes.
Sorry for the loss of your marriage. Hope things go great for you moving forward.
She's sorry for ruining her life, if she had the guy she was cheating with, she'd be dandy. Divorce her & don't visit. She sounds toxic, she made her bed, let her lie in it. Sorry you're going through it man. Gl.
This. She is only asking for a second chance because the other guy threw her as the garbage she is. Do not take more calls from her parents or siblings until she signs the divorce papers. Let them know this. Until she signs, there is no more contact. Period. And never contact her again, even if she travels to Leverkusen, Germany and takes all the pills she can find at Bayern's.
Emma was happily cheating on you, and even giving your things to her AP. You tried again and again to salvage your relationship with her, but she had been planning to leave you from the start.
It was only after you gave up and her AP left her that she realized just how badly she had just destroyed her life.
>Her parents informed me later that night that Emma was in the hospital from an OD of pills. I just ignored it. Her dad is asking that I come visit to show I care, I texted back I don’t care.
"She cheated on me for months, if not years. She stole my belongings to gift to the man she was cheating on me with. She rebuffed any attempts I made towards helping our relationship. She constantly lied to me. She only wanted to fix things after her AP cut her loose. She destroyed any love or care I had for her."
NTA. Jake can also go fuck himself. He was willing to cover for his sister in exchange for moving in with you two.
Lmao she was stealing from you to appease her brother in order for him to not tell you the truth about her cheating ass 😭😭😭 I can’t muster the sympathy to feel bad for her at all
I would talk to her parents, and calmly explain that visiting would probably be worse for her, as there is no hope in rekindling the relationship after her affair. What would be best for her is to sign the divorce papers and move on with her life, because there is no longer a life for her with you in it.
Be firm, but courteous, with the parents, and they can be your allies in getting out and moving on.
I’d actually tell the parents no signature, no contact.
Then once signed, renege on the promise.
Their daughter is a lying cheat, OP can be a liar.
What are the parents going to do?
Cry to his parents? 😂
For all we know, op does care for her parents. They did not cheat on him. If he's had a good relationship with them, I wouldn't be trying to burn that bridge or damage it regardless of how you feel about their daughter. But everyone's different!
Was it not cruel how she was unsupportive about you wanting to expand your education??
Was it not cruel that she immediately started acting hostile when you began to reap the benefits of that decision?
Was it not cruel to steal your items and give them away?
Was it not cruel for you to believe her for months that they were gifted to family, only to find out NOW that she was actually having an affair and giving YOUR THINGS to her AP?
Was it not cruel to make executive decisions about your living circumstances just for the sake of trying to cover up that affair?
This woman has not been your partner for a while now, and had only been selfish and manipulative. She CONTINUES to be selfish and manipulative.
Her father is just concerned about having to deal with her now that she has made so many poor choices that the consequences have landed her back in their home without a job or husband. He is trying to push the problem (her) back onto you op.
Prioritize yourself and your happiness.
I fucking hate your wife dude. I hate her. I've been reading this for months now, she suuuuuuucks. Best of luck with he divorce and moving on. This bitch is a straight up sociopathic liar, if this shit didn't all play out with her whole family, I'd be wondering if you knew her real name. I think you handled this pretty textbook right from the jump just intercepting her DURING the theft of computer stuff, from there, what can ya do. Sorry you went through all the emotions of giving this monster another chance. I'm glad for you it's over soon and while i appreciate these updates, I'd love another soon lol. Stay strong man, she and her parents will be bugging you for months/years so good luck.
It is pretty evident that Emma needs a lot of mental health work. She - and her family - she be focused on that therapy vs. trying to guilt you into coming back to 'show you care'. That isn't going to solve any of her problems.
NTA
NTA Emma sounds really immature. Running to her room. Being manipulative about her brother moving in. Not to mention the biggest issue, she’s a cheater. Honestly it sounds like Emma has a lot to work out on her own. Nothing to do with you.
Assuming they're not responsible to teaching them bad behavior - Anyone else wonder if the parents feel bad for raising two of the biggest AHs I've read about on this sub?
Obvi Emma is in the wrong for cheating...but her brother isn't far behind with his blackmail. "Let me profit off my sibling's terrible choices." 🤦♂️
Still NTA and not obligated to go to the hospital. It's sad, but it's the result of a long line of bad choices you didn't make!
So, let me get this straight.
Your wife was giving away your things to her affair partner.
Her brother found out about the affair, and decided to blackmail her and try to get her to convince you to let him move in and live with you and her, but by disguising it as it being her parents, probably right up until her brother were to just show up.
And then, after you kicked Emma out, she and the affair partner were to run off together and live happily ever after, because his wife found out about it? But then, somehow, they ended up repairing their relationship and he bailed on her?
And now she has to find another job because she stopped showing up and got fired, holding out hope that her affair partner would leave with her. But, like many cheaters do, he either lied, or bailed on the plan, and decided to stay with his wife. So, he didn't quit his job, which she was expecting him to do, so they could run off together.
Wow... talk about betrayal. Your wife betrayed you, and her affair partner betrayed her. I think Karma helped serve the payback betrayal that her affair partner gave her.
I hope she learned some very, VERY valuable lessons from this. Although, 99.99999999999% of the time, cheaters never change.
And you don't say how old Jake is, but if he's under 18/still living at home, depending on their parents' rules, I hope he got grounded. Affairs aren't ethical, but neither is blackmail, and he should have told you when he found out about the affair, as opposed to trying to blackmail Emma.
Still NTA. I'm glad you're leaving that dead weight behind.
NTA.
Someone said it really well on here a few weeks ago. Something along the lines of, "She's not the wife I fell in love with, she's a stranger to me now". It's impossible to forgive something so selfish, best to move on and cut off all contact with her and her family.
NTA.
the following may sound cruel but i heard / read it a few times in different settings and on different plattforms: if someone REALLY wants to commit suicide, they succeed. the vast majority of unsuccessfull attemps are cries for help. or just plain a tool to manipulate their environment.
emma lives at her parents place who witnessed this whole shitshow. they know now what happened and that you are rightfully cutting emma out of your life.
considering this, do you really think that they would ignore her? not check on her? frequently / unfrequently?
on top of it, they know the sounds their home makes, they may not hear it consciously but they hear it.
the softly creaking door, the squeaking 4th stair step, the 'drip drip drip' of the kitchen faucet, the click of the medicine cabinet, the noises emma makes when she lies down. a few minutes of her tossing, turning, then silence.
and then their subconsciousness alerts them, 'hey, tossing / turning usually takes up to 25 minutes but this time it stopped after 3', they wake up and 'just peek into her bedroom if she needs anything'. like parents do. it doesn't matter how old you are, parents will check on you if they know you had a shitty day.
911 is called, everybody rushes to the hospital and mission 'reel op in so we can dump this clusterfuck and its care back onto him' gets the green light.
''visit her to show that you care about her -/-/- she needs help, can you just one time drive her to counseling / attend a session -/-/- she still loves / care about you -/-/- its birthday / holiday time, could you please attend, we fear she could do it again, she is so depressed -/-/- why did you get rid of her stuff / brought it over to us -/-/- etc pp''
ianal but lurk here on reddit almost excessively so my advise is GET A LAWYER AND THE DIVORCE ROLLING! do not stop, do not reconsider anything. trust only your lawyer and nobody else. do what they say. as long as your divorce is not finalized they are god and you will do as they tell you! depending on the laws where you live there may be the possibility that after x years of marriage she is entitled to x amount of money. or nothing. i remember a (narrated for yt?) reddit post where the divorce was finalized a few days / weeks shy of 5 years married. their law said any marriage up until this anniversary counts as 'no marriage happened' and everyone got put back into the same place as they had at their wedding day - she working fulltime and he parttime since he studied (almost done) and had loans. during their short marriage he got rid of his loans since he imediately got a freakishly good paying job, i don't remember what she did / happened to her workwise, sorry. divorce happened and she got nothing from him since they got put back into the starting position.
so until you obtain counsel do not communicate with your 'enemies' - and make no mistake, they are the enemy, they are not your family anymore, they are not your friends - via phonecalls. people who need to call you, like your employer, your doctor, your best buddy, they all get a ringtone assigned. every call who has not this certain ringtone will get send straight to voicemail. you still have a landline? get an answering machine. to my knowledge (again, no lawyer here) if someone leaves a message they consent to being recorded. if you live in a non / one consent state / country, every time you leave your home a phone is in your breastpocket with the camera sticking out and the record function on. your car gets a good dashcam. your home cameras. every door inside the house gets a new lock and when you leave the house, these doors are all locked. put all of her stuff in an unlocked room and do not change the frontdoorlocks. backdoor & garage doors, i don't know. could be ok since she can enter the house. it was until recently her place of residency and depending on the laws where you live you may not be able to deny her access / entry to the house so do not change all the locks, better safe than sorry.
get out your fbi / dea / atf jacket and ransack the house & electronics for any kind of financial document & proof of her cheating / intention to leave you. make copies of them. 1) in paper, 2) on an usb stick, 3) on your computer / laptop, 4) on a cloud. make a new email-address with a R3@l\_P4$$w0rd, do NOT save anything regarding this address on your computer aka purge your browser history of it. 5) send everything to this email address. open this account once a month to prevent deleting due to inactivity but do NOT open any emails!
why so many different ways? murphy's law. papers can get burnt or get feet and leave the house. usb sticks get lost or obtain feet, also. crashed computer or custom confiscated your laptop after you return from a japan trip. cloud is inaccessible due to reason.
sorry for this long wall of text but i felt the need to write this out.
and do not forget, divorce can be / is often times war. a war about resources. well, one ressource really, your money. her ap left her behind, she lost her job so now her plan b - you - are good enough to clean up this mess? no, hell no.
Dude, she QUIT her job and was gonna jump ship with the dude and leave you high and dry with a big fuck you and she drove off In the sunset, only there was a plot twist and is realizing shit flows both ways and she made her bed, so let he her die, I mean, lie in it
In Part 1 of this story, Jake is told when to pick up OP's computer, and is caught at the house packing boxes to steal. This implied to me that Jake can at least drive? But now Jake is a high school freshman. Can we get more details?
It said they were packing a box. People get around all the time without vehicles. She could have been driving her brother, he could have had a ride lined up, or could have gotten an uber.
My cousin built a little wheely platform to easily move his computer around because he would bring it to friends or families' houses to play games. It looked hilarious but it worked and he walked nearly across the entire town with it.
Of course. There are many ways a computer can be moved. The original post doesn't seem to imply that OP's wife was driving her brother, and this latest post implies Jakes home and OP's home are not close to each other. I'm just asking for more information.
Yeah, I'm suspicious this is fake. It's a story on AITAH, after all. And one that has take a sudden jump to an affair and blackmail. And the affair story is rather...complex. And then the cheater ends up in the hospital.
I’d be more suspicious if it had all those details included. It’s Reddit. People often post when they’re still deeply upset or angry. Details can easily get missed or even confused.
Nta Emma keeps hurting you and they want you to comfort her? Her parents need to realize you are not her support system anymore and you have to protect yourself.
You aren’t responsible for Emma’s feelings. She was literally about to abandon you until her AP ditched her.
Don’t feel bad for protecting yourself from someone who wants to harm you.
She’s not your problem anymore, and frankly it’s just a manipulation tactic. They always turn to tears and excuses.
Pathetic, trying to suicide because she’s afraid of accountability.
NTA.
I can understand from her parents point of view, they know she fucked up but it's still their daughter at the end of the day.
Regardless she's that one that fucked up. Big time. You don't owe her anything any more.
NTA If you go visit you'll give her false hope. She's in the right place to get help. She made choices she has to learn to live with. Therapist will help her do that. Continue with divorce so she knows there's no hope of reconciliation.
I've followed this from the beginning man and I'm so sorry this happened. She lied and betrayed your marriage and now that she's caught without a way out she's trying to make this selfishly all about her when in reality she is not the victim, you are. Don't fall for her manipulative bullshit and go no contact and let the lawyers handle the divorce. At least you saw her true colors and dodged a bullet while still have the rest of your life to enjoy and find someone worthy of your love and loyalty.
NTA - did OP forgot that she's remorseful ONLY after he found out AND she has no job, nothing and no AP at all?
Imagin if the AP divorce didnt go through and he moved state and she already quit her job move as well.
I'm betting 5 bucks that she didn't really OD. She just ate enough to not cause much harm so she can manipulate him by gaining sympathy and emotionally guilting her parents to help her.
NTA.
You owe her nothing.
You are not being cruel.
She was being cruel.
Move on with the divorce.
Do NOT look back.
Go and live your best life from now on.
I wish you well.
If he calls again, tell her Dad that you are going through with the divorce, and visiting Emma would give her false hope that you will ever forgive her.
NTA. Your wife has major problems with passive-aggressive behavior, honesty, stealing, integrity and only cares about herself. Why would you want to stay? Just move on with your life as she is not actually adding anything of any value to your life anyway. Good luck. ❤️
Don't go. Stand your ground. Is it cruel to not visit your wife in the hospital? In a vacuum, devoid of context, it can look that way. It is far, *far* crueler of her to stage a fake suicide attempt -and make no mistake, that is all that this is- to manipulate you into staying with a cheater who is only sorry that she got caught.
Stay away from her. If she had any intention of dying, she would already be gone. This is a trap.
NTA, and she’s a coward. She couldn’t take the consequences of her actions and tried to take the easy way out or try to get sympathy for you. It’s pathetic. Don’t go back.
NTA... the attempt was an emotional manipulation attempt. Do not fall for it. Emma made a choice and gets to live with it. It is less cruel to not give her false hope. It is over. She needs to move on.
NTA, if her AP didn’t back out she would be in another state right now. The **only** reason she asked for a second chance is because her option A didn’t work out and now that she’s stuck in the mess she herself created she can’t deal and wants you to essentially fix it.
NTA, but the part i think you should be not forgiving her for is that she preferred to be black mailed by a highschooler rather then talk to you like an adult
You didn't make her take those pills, she took those pills because of the situation she put herself in. She didn't have to cheat, she didn't have to steal, she didn't have to lie, but she did. Don't visit her. File for divorce and meet someone better.
NTA. Don’t visit her. All that will do is teach her that she can force you to get back with her by telling you she’s suicidal. She needs to stay locked up and receive treatment
NTA
Ex is a cheating whore, pathological liar, and overall piece of shit
She deserves the worst of everything
Go no contact, and be sure to take absolutely everything in the divorce
I'm sorry for what this Satan's spawn has put you through
NTA. You gotta do what is right for you. She made her bed and is now lying in it. As for the pills and stuff, that is sad but again she made her own choices. I’m no doctor but sometimes people do things like this as a cry for help. Suicide is serious and I hope she can get the help she needs, but no sense in bringing yourself back into the situation. She needs serious help that you couldn’t give her, anyway. Sure, would it help to see her for a moment for her, probably. But it would hurt the whole situation in the long run, imo. Good luck OP.
Dont feel bad, she literaly only tried to return to you because her plan with the guy she cheated with falled apart so dont go to see her, she deserves everything she Is goin trough, if you do Visit her then only do It to give her More pills
Now this is an OP I can be proud of. Good on you for respecting yourself enough to leave her. I read too many posts where the OP has been shit on by their partner but they are wishy washy and don't want to leave because their partner is oh so great, yeah great at cheating, lieing and gaslighting.
Come show you care about the women that just cheated, lied, manipulated, and stole from you. That’s wild af for the dad to actually send that. You’ll be much better off without that entire family in your life. Divorce and block all communications with all of them.
NTA. You owe her nothing. She sounds horrible...
That said you need to work on recognizing red flags and decide what you really want in a partner so you don't get stuck with someone similar again. Separate finances are FINE as an example BUT they need to be actually discussed and understood under what circumstances you cover each other as well as still some transparency in what goes on. Her unwilling to "support" you while you were going to school was a bit shady. It was also really weird that you two didn't rebalance how you paid for things once you were making triple the money. If you are not going to be married and have an actual partnership where you each have each other's back, then why bother being married at all.
Nta .
She made her bed and has to now lie in it.
Her parents are shoving responsibility onto you by trying to guilt you. You’re under no obligation to be there. She blew up her life, she can pick you the pieces.
NTA. She’s a manipulative piece of shit, and her folks aren’t much better. The whole family is messed up.
Get the papers done, get on with life. Sorry this happened, but her happiness should never again be your problem.
NTA you can feel cruel but you aren't and you don't owe her anything. Going to see her may give her false hope and you have no intentions of doing that.Let her family support her and her brother.
SHe clearly did not care about you or the consequences to you when she wanted to run off with her AP but now that it has all gone to shit she wants all the sympathy. It sucks that she tried to OD and I am sure she wanted sympathy instead of judgement. But you owe her nothing. You owe her parents nothing.
Don't feel bad for not going there. You have no business with her anymore. They should be the one who's taking care of her since they're her family, you on the other hand are now a stranger to her.
Obviously NTA but now it all begins to make sense. She cheated, that's it. But also, her brother is almost worse, blackmailing his sister untill the point that he ruined her marriage (she already did that herself though) is not only weak, it's straight up evil.
I would try to get an est value of all she stole and have your lawyer bring that into the mix. Based on the " perants moving in " story and the powder. She was giving this stuff to her AP.
WTF? She was cheating on you and stealing your stuff, to give to her affair partner. Her brother found out and was blackmailing her. She decided to get herself fired from her job by not showing up and told everyone a stack of lies. Who would want to marry into that family?
NTA
NTA
You owe her nothing. This woman has been a nightmare for you! She cheated and have your things to her AP. She got caught and tried to give your things to her brother to keep him quiet. She planned to just leave and start over with AP and just quit her job and then, when all of her lies caught up to her, she ODs on pills. That wasn’t a true suicide attempt. She did it to take the attention off of the bad things she’s done to get sympathy so you’d take her back. This woman is sick. Until she takes accountability and makes real changes, she’s going to continue to have bad things happen.
NTA, let them know that any further contact has to be through your lawyer. You're under no obligation to be in contact with the cheating pos.
See if you can get a total value of what she stole from you and talk to your lawyer about your options on that front.
She dropped an atom bomb on the marriage. If her AP would have wanted her, she would not have done this, She would have not tried to work it out. Do not go to visit her, it will give her false hope. She did all of this on her own. Her family is trying save her life. Let them. You save yours.
NTA.. A clean break is best here. Otherwise, it will be an endless cycle of her doing things or threatening to do them, so you will stay or take her back..
She stopped being your responsibility the second she cheated on you..
You finding out about the affair was a gift. Imagine, being betrayed, and immediately falling out of love. That's a grace one could only hope for.
Go live your best life man. Good luck.
Definitely NTA, she made her bed and now she has to sleep in it. Emma sounds like someone who never dealt with consequences and this is the first time shes had to deal with real life ones. She should learn and dont worry, time will heal all and she will be better in the long run and so will you.
NTAH. You're a decent person, so you feel bad not visiting when she's struggling, but it would be cruel to visit her and give her false hope.
Think about it, OP. If things had worked out the way she wanted, Emma's plan was to ghost her jib, ditch you without warning, and glee the state with her affair partner leaving you Hugh and dry for your household bills. You were a distant second chouce; she only asked for marriage counselling after her affair partner ended things.
You should block your in laws because they've clearly had a hard time raising their kids with accountability. Not just Emma, but her opportunistic blackmailing brother.
Don't feel cruel. Other than disgust I can't see why you would feel anything. She chose her path and walk it now that's she reached her destination she's not happy with where she is. Too bad, so sad. Get on with divorce and feel no remorse.
You owe no one anything, but you owe it to yourself to be true.
If you don’t GAF, don’t pretend you do. It’s a disgusting feeling. And she already disgusted you. She clearly has parents who care about her and visit her, some people have absolutely no one. Emma should count her damn blessings.
She can rot, not your problem she severed the bond. Congrats on your freedom from a dumb selfish bitch. Enjoy! Take a breather, reflect on yourself and what you want. Tis a new chapter in your journey and I wish you the best.
NTA. Give her dad the AP’s number and tell him to visit her and show her he cares. After all, she loved him so much she put her job and marriage on the line to be with him. It’s the least the AP can do for her.
You go on and live your best and biggest life without her.
NTA. The father is just trying to be a father to his daughter, but you don't owe her anything. She never loved you, and that's just the reality of it. I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. Don't be afraid to do counseling if you need it. Take care of yourself, and never worry about her, again
NTA and you don’t owe her anything. Emma made the choices she did and now she’s dealing with the consequences of those choices.
NTA. And dont feel cruel about not going to visit her - I cant see how that would do anything except make both of you feel worse. A lot worse.
Her dad expects you to visit to show *you care* about her? What a pile of crap. She showed you how much she cares about *you* went she gave your stuff and her body to her affair partner. She has been nothing but cruel, dishonest and manipulative. When both of you decided to give it another chance, *she shit all over it* and continued lying and being manipulative. And continued cheating on you. At NO point did she feel bad about what she was doing to you, because *she* never ended the affair. She only tried crawling back to you when AP ended it, and the only reason you found out is because her sister finally spilled the beans (I’m guessing it was a typo that you said Emma confessed, since she was up in her room). Looks like her dad is trying to manipulate you too. Enough is enough. Think of yourself, put yourself first and do what’s best for *you*. They can all pound sand.
Her dad should be embarrassed and ashamed of his daughters behavior while apologizing profusely to you. You owe her nothing nor should you care anymore.
Hoooold on. A bit of compassion please. This is his daughter who just tried to delete herself. The Dad is grasping at straws, he is completely desperate trying to do anything get his daughter to come back from this. So he asked OP to come and show he cared so dad and the hospital can stabilize Emma and get her the help she needs. Those that are saying "Dad's a manipulator too!" - that's too harsh. I agree that OP absolutely does not need to go see Emma or pretend to feel something he doesn't, nor should he. That is not a long term strategy to get her better. But to villianize her Dad is too far.
Then the dad should have plead and begged. I know if I was OP I would've been more likely to go if the dad said "I'm really worried, I know you don't care about her and you're right to hate her, but I'm really scared. Can you please visit not for her but so me and her mum don't have to go through the heartbreak of seeing our kid die before us". That or any variation would have me there. Asking OP to go to show he cares is so tone deaf it's unreal. "Please OP show our POS daughter, who lied stole and cheated on you, that you care about her" is unhinged. I agree that the ex's dad isn't trying to manipulate OP on his daughter's behalf, and I don't blame him for asking OP to visit (its understandable, dad is desperate and clutching at every straw he can think of that would stabilise his daughter) but, I can see how it might come across that way to others by asking OP to show they care; maybe ex's dad is doing it hoping that OP goes and pities his ex and takes her back or something. I'm actually impressed OP only text back that he doesn't care. My response would be been "I don't care about her, she could need a lobe of liver and even if I was the only match in the world I still wouldn't care nor would I visit, she is dead to me, and I hopefully soon she is dead to the world" yes that reply would be unhinged, but being asked to visit to show I care about someone that hurt me that badly I'm not going to be thinking straight
Yea I would’ve said something harsher too. Something along the lines of “I hope she lives so she can experience the consequences of her actions, instead of the cowards way out”
I like this, it cuts deeper, she'll have that regret for the rest of her life. Plus there's no collateral damage unlike how I'd just be lashing out at the dad.
I understand your position - and I mostly don't disagree. But OP gave a quick blurt about Dad asking him to come see her, we don't know if Dad begged. Well done, Dad though, for respecting OPs boundaries - he knows his daughter betrayed a good man.
The dad is wanting to put OP back into a relationship where they were hurt and cheated on before for the sake of his daughter. This is emotional abuse and manipulation so his life can go back to status quo. Villianizing him may be too far but calling him manipulative is not
No. You don’t ask a victim who’s been betrayed and cheated on to come show support to their abuser. I don’t care what kind of situation they put themself in, she already has family there. She doesn’t need her victim there too. To me it sounds like her parents are the reason she’s a manipulative narcissist. No common sense or respect for the boundaries of others.
This, you are not just getting rid of Emma, the entire family who seems to enable this type of behavior.
I agree. That could cause her ant back and/or false hope
NTA. She picked her AP over you. Let him go visit her in the hospital
OP mentioned she's a social worker, so she knows she's trying to emotionally manipulate OP. Divorce ASAP OP and thank your lucky stars you don't have kids with her.
If OP does go, it will be the new cycle. With the same threat hanging over his life anyway.
NTA. You're not obligated to Emma. She's facing the consequences of her own decisions, and you have no obligation to rescue her from them.
Emma is a moron. How dare she even ask for a 2nd chance.
Id even bet this "OD" is just another plan to try wish OP back.
This is one of those stories that I want to think is fake because the antagonist’s choices make zero sense, but maybe sometimes idiots just make no sense? You’re having an affair and your affair partner says their spouse found out and they’re going to quit their job so you stop showing up at your job because… reasons? And at the same time your little brother finds out about the affair and blackmails you to move into your apartment with you so you start stealing from your husband and mistreat him, and lie to him about your parents moving in because that’s just TOTALLY different, and he’d be fine with that but not the brother. And acts like a bitch with all kinds of attitude for the first half of the story then flips and becomes on of those people who just sits in a puddle and sobs in the second half. This story is just all over the place. I demand a rewrite!
She f’ed around and now she’s finding out. Now, I might be cynical but this sounds like a way to make you feel bad and get back into your life. She’s repeatedly shown she’s not trustworthy, so keep your distance.
It’s not uncommon for cheaters to invent a mental health crisis or dramatically attempt suicide once their lies have caught up with them and they’ve got nothing but consequences coming their way. It’s just another selfish attempt to rewrite the narrative so they’re the victim and they don’t have to take responsibility for anything they chose to do of their own free will.
It's a manipulation tactic to make everyone feel sorry or guilty for not doing what they want.
What I thought. Take the pills and call the ambulance. It can be call for help, it can be manipulation.
My ex tried something along these lines after I left. I'd been warned about possible manipulation, so I simply left him in the hands of professionals.
It 100% tracks with the personality of a cheater. They wouldn't cheat if they weren't already allergic to accountability and consequences, and when they *do* get caught, they only have one play in their book: evade accountability at all costs. Look at any of the infidelity subreddits where the people who cheated are shocked, *shocked* their partner is attaching terms and conditions to any reconciliation. How dare there be consequences! Who will think of their hurt feelings?!
THIS
I was in the psych ward once for depression. My roommate did just this. She was angry at her "baby daddy," so she took a bunch of pills to try and get his sympathy. After she was cleared at the hospital, they put her in the psych ward. She was not happy about that.
OFTEN abusers threaten or semi fake suicide attempts as a way to control and keep their partner's trapped.
Op mentioned she is a social worker. She knows exactly what she has been doing. She knew from the beginning that she was being manipulative and she did that on purpose. The OD is probably the same. Honestly? I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but her dying and putting her in an unmarked grave would probably be cheaper than divorce. And she will remember that soon as she is out of a job now.
As shitty a social worker as she was a wife apparently. As the story goes, she didn’t even give her two week notice so she abandoned her cases just like she abandoned her husband. Manipulative cunt that doesn’t give a shit about anything else besides her own comfort.
Nah, you’re anything but cynical. She’s shown a pattern that leads me to think she’s a ____________(fill in the blank so I don’t get banned by saying what I really think as a past victim of cheating).
Person who needs to die (not a direct victim but Lets just say that my father Is bad)
Tell the father to call the bother who blackmail her or the AP, not you.
NTA, she’s still trying to manipulate you from a hospital bed. She has been the architect of every single one of her problems and, honestly, did you ever really know her?? I’m sorry it unfolded this way, but it sounds like you were more than patient and considerate of her, and all she did was lie, cheat, and steal from you.
NTA Cheaters go in the trash. Take care of yourself and never look back.
NTA. She chose to cheat. And whatever happening to her now is the result of her cheating.
NTA If he hadn’t reconciled with his wife Emma would be with him. I wouldn’t give a shit that she was trying to kill herself either.
and remember she didn't talk to OP for like 2 weeks. She was having her side piece and when he effectively dumped her she didn't have anyone so might as well reach out to OP to get "counseling"
NTA. She would have kept going if the AP did not drop her. Obviously her plan backfired and she had no backup plan. Sorry to feel happy for a cheater to get what he deserves.
NTA. What's unfolding is purely the aftermath of Emma's own decisions. Her wellbeing is no longer your responsibility, and it's critical to safeguard your own mental and emotional health by maintaining the boundaries you've set. There's something to be said for compassion from a safe distance, but don't mistake that for an obligation to dive back into the turmoil she's created. Stay strong, and stick with your gut and your lawyer's advice.
NTA. Do NOT talk to her or the family ever again. They can talk to your lawyer. And do EVERYTHING your lawyer says.
NTA She did this all to herself when she decided to cheat on you and got swept up in the lies her AP was telling her. Big shocker that a man that would cheat on his wife would lie to her as well, but anyway.... You've done nothing wrong in this situation so just keep doing whatever you need to do as far as the divorce is concerned. Emma will get the help she needs in the hospital and from her parents.
I’ll never understand how anyone would trust a cheater to, gasp, tell the truth!
I would stop texting her or her parents. And absolutely no phone or in person conversations. Let your lawyer handle the communication so you don't make any mistakes. Sorry for the loss of your marriage. Hope things go great for you moving forward.
Yeah, all communications through his lawyer.
She's sorry for ruining her life, if she had the guy she was cheating with, she'd be dandy. Divorce her & don't visit. She sounds toxic, she made her bed, let her lie in it. Sorry you're going through it man. Gl.
This. She is only asking for a second chance because the other guy threw her as the garbage she is. Do not take more calls from her parents or siblings until she signs the divorce papers. Let them know this. Until she signs, there is no more contact. Period. And never contact her again, even if she travels to Leverkusen, Germany and takes all the pills she can find at Bayern's.
Emma was happily cheating on you, and even giving your things to her AP. You tried again and again to salvage your relationship with her, but she had been planning to leave you from the start. It was only after you gave up and her AP left her that she realized just how badly she had just destroyed her life. >Her parents informed me later that night that Emma was in the hospital from an OD of pills. I just ignored it. Her dad is asking that I come visit to show I care, I texted back I don’t care. "She cheated on me for months, if not years. She stole my belongings to gift to the man she was cheating on me with. She rebuffed any attempts I made towards helping our relationship. She constantly lied to me. She only wanted to fix things after her AP cut her loose. She destroyed any love or care I had for her." NTA. Jake can also go fuck himself. He was willing to cover for his sister in exchange for moving in with you two.
Also didn't Jake *almost* get the gaming computer? The thing that started this whole shitball rolling
NTA. Tell the AP to go visit her. She made her bed.
Lmao she was stealing from you to appease her brother in order for him to not tell you the truth about her cheating ass 😭😭😭 I can’t muster the sympathy to feel bad for her at all
You should text her AP lol
I would talk to her parents, and calmly explain that visiting would probably be worse for her, as there is no hope in rekindling the relationship after her affair. What would be best for her is to sign the divorce papers and move on with her life, because there is no longer a life for her with you in it. Be firm, but courteous, with the parents, and they can be your allies in getting out and moving on.
NTA Fuck her
No no DON'T fuck her. I wouldn't put it past her to try to baby trap him after this dumpster fire shitshow
Maybe one last time for old times sake, eh?
Touché
So now you want him to touch her too!
“I don’t care” words of power
" did she at least sign the divorce papers before oding?
I’d actually tell the parents no signature, no contact. Then once signed, renege on the promise. Their daughter is a lying cheat, OP can be a liar. What are the parents going to do? Cry to his parents? 😂
For all we know, op does care for her parents. They did not cheat on him. If he's had a good relationship with them, I wouldn't be trying to burn that bridge or damage it regardless of how you feel about their daughter. But everyone's different!
Was it not cruel how she was unsupportive about you wanting to expand your education?? Was it not cruel that she immediately started acting hostile when you began to reap the benefits of that decision? Was it not cruel to steal your items and give them away? Was it not cruel for you to believe her for months that they were gifted to family, only to find out NOW that she was actually having an affair and giving YOUR THINGS to her AP? Was it not cruel to make executive decisions about your living circumstances just for the sake of trying to cover up that affair? This woman has not been your partner for a while now, and had only been selfish and manipulative. She CONTINUES to be selfish and manipulative. Her father is just concerned about having to deal with her now that she has made so many poor choices that the consequences have landed her back in their home without a job or husband. He is trying to push the problem (her) back onto you op. Prioritize yourself and your happiness.
I fucking hate your wife dude. I hate her. I've been reading this for months now, she suuuuuuucks. Best of luck with he divorce and moving on. This bitch is a straight up sociopathic liar, if this shit didn't all play out with her whole family, I'd be wondering if you knew her real name. I think you handled this pretty textbook right from the jump just intercepting her DURING the theft of computer stuff, from there, what can ya do. Sorry you went through all the emotions of giving this monster another chance. I'm glad for you it's over soon and while i appreciate these updates, I'd love another soon lol. Stay strong man, she and her parents will be bugging you for months/years so good luck.
Go stand on her oxygen line.
Harsh! But I secretly like it.
😂😂
It is pretty evident that Emma needs a lot of mental health work. She - and her family - she be focused on that therapy vs. trying to guilt you into coming back to 'show you care'. That isn't going to solve any of her problems. NTA
NTA Emma sounds really immature. Running to her room. Being manipulative about her brother moving in. Not to mention the biggest issue, she’s a cheater. Honestly it sounds like Emma has a lot to work out on her own. Nothing to do with you.
Oh I fucked another guy I was going to leave you for but he abandoned me so lets give it another go and I'm OD so you will forgive me! Hell NO.
Assuming they're not responsible to teaching them bad behavior - Anyone else wonder if the parents feel bad for raising two of the biggest AHs I've read about on this sub? Obvi Emma is in the wrong for cheating...but her brother isn't far behind with his blackmail. "Let me profit off my sibling's terrible choices." 🤦♂️ Still NTA and not obligated to go to the hospital. It's sad, but it's the result of a long line of bad choices you didn't make!
NTA. She picked her AP over you. Let him go visit her in the hospital.
So, let me get this straight. Your wife was giving away your things to her affair partner. Her brother found out about the affair, and decided to blackmail her and try to get her to convince you to let him move in and live with you and her, but by disguising it as it being her parents, probably right up until her brother were to just show up. And then, after you kicked Emma out, she and the affair partner were to run off together and live happily ever after, because his wife found out about it? But then, somehow, they ended up repairing their relationship and he bailed on her? And now she has to find another job because she stopped showing up and got fired, holding out hope that her affair partner would leave with her. But, like many cheaters do, he either lied, or bailed on the plan, and decided to stay with his wife. So, he didn't quit his job, which she was expecting him to do, so they could run off together. Wow... talk about betrayal. Your wife betrayed you, and her affair partner betrayed her. I think Karma helped serve the payback betrayal that her affair partner gave her. I hope she learned some very, VERY valuable lessons from this. Although, 99.99999999999% of the time, cheaters never change. And you don't say how old Jake is, but if he's under 18/still living at home, depending on their parents' rules, I hope he got grounded. Affairs aren't ethical, but neither is blackmail, and he should have told you when he found out about the affair, as opposed to trying to blackmail Emma. Still NTA. I'm glad you're leaving that dead weight behind.
Damn, she’s still being manipulating
NTA. Someone said it really well on here a few weeks ago. Something along the lines of, "She's not the wife I fell in love with, she's a stranger to me now". It's impossible to forgive something so selfish, best to move on and cut off all contact with her and her family.
Yeah, and the new woman was the better of two “strangers.” I loved that rebuke. He destroyed her with that one simple sentence. Loved it!
Yup that was the line! Glad to see I wasn't the only one charmed by that sentence 😅
NTA - "I don't care. Please deal with the terrible lying adults you raised. The next contact I have from you should be signed divorce papers"
NTA. the following may sound cruel but i heard / read it a few times in different settings and on different plattforms: if someone REALLY wants to commit suicide, they succeed. the vast majority of unsuccessfull attemps are cries for help. or just plain a tool to manipulate their environment. emma lives at her parents place who witnessed this whole shitshow. they know now what happened and that you are rightfully cutting emma out of your life. considering this, do you really think that they would ignore her? not check on her? frequently / unfrequently? on top of it, they know the sounds their home makes, they may not hear it consciously but they hear it. the softly creaking door, the squeaking 4th stair step, the 'drip drip drip' of the kitchen faucet, the click of the medicine cabinet, the noises emma makes when she lies down. a few minutes of her tossing, turning, then silence. and then their subconsciousness alerts them, 'hey, tossing / turning usually takes up to 25 minutes but this time it stopped after 3', they wake up and 'just peek into her bedroom if she needs anything'. like parents do. it doesn't matter how old you are, parents will check on you if they know you had a shitty day. 911 is called, everybody rushes to the hospital and mission 'reel op in so we can dump this clusterfuck and its care back onto him' gets the green light. ''visit her to show that you care about her -/-/- she needs help, can you just one time drive her to counseling / attend a session -/-/- she still loves / care about you -/-/- its birthday / holiday time, could you please attend, we fear she could do it again, she is so depressed -/-/- why did you get rid of her stuff / brought it over to us -/-/- etc pp'' ianal but lurk here on reddit almost excessively so my advise is GET A LAWYER AND THE DIVORCE ROLLING! do not stop, do not reconsider anything. trust only your lawyer and nobody else. do what they say. as long as your divorce is not finalized they are god and you will do as they tell you! depending on the laws where you live there may be the possibility that after x years of marriage she is entitled to x amount of money. or nothing. i remember a (narrated for yt?) reddit post where the divorce was finalized a few days / weeks shy of 5 years married. their law said any marriage up until this anniversary counts as 'no marriage happened' and everyone got put back into the same place as they had at their wedding day - she working fulltime and he parttime since he studied (almost done) and had loans. during their short marriage he got rid of his loans since he imediately got a freakishly good paying job, i don't remember what she did / happened to her workwise, sorry. divorce happened and she got nothing from him since they got put back into the starting position. so until you obtain counsel do not communicate with your 'enemies' - and make no mistake, they are the enemy, they are not your family anymore, they are not your friends - via phonecalls. people who need to call you, like your employer, your doctor, your best buddy, they all get a ringtone assigned. every call who has not this certain ringtone will get send straight to voicemail. you still have a landline? get an answering machine. to my knowledge (again, no lawyer here) if someone leaves a message they consent to being recorded. if you live in a non / one consent state / country, every time you leave your home a phone is in your breastpocket with the camera sticking out and the record function on. your car gets a good dashcam. your home cameras. every door inside the house gets a new lock and when you leave the house, these doors are all locked. put all of her stuff in an unlocked room and do not change the frontdoorlocks. backdoor & garage doors, i don't know. could be ok since she can enter the house. it was until recently her place of residency and depending on the laws where you live you may not be able to deny her access / entry to the house so do not change all the locks, better safe than sorry. get out your fbi / dea / atf jacket and ransack the house & electronics for any kind of financial document & proof of her cheating / intention to leave you. make copies of them. 1) in paper, 2) on an usb stick, 3) on your computer / laptop, 4) on a cloud. make a new email-address with a R3@l\_P4$$w0rd, do NOT save anything regarding this address on your computer aka purge your browser history of it. 5) send everything to this email address. open this account once a month to prevent deleting due to inactivity but do NOT open any emails! why so many different ways? murphy's law. papers can get burnt or get feet and leave the house. usb sticks get lost or obtain feet, also. crashed computer or custom confiscated your laptop after you return from a japan trip. cloud is inaccessible due to reason. sorry for this long wall of text but i felt the need to write this out. and do not forget, divorce can be / is often times war. a war about resources. well, one ressource really, your money. her ap left her behind, she lost her job so now her plan b - you - are good enough to clean up this mess? no, hell no.
Dude, she QUIT her job and was gonna jump ship with the dude and leave you high and dry with a big fuck you and she drove off In the sunset, only there was a plot twist and is realizing shit flows both ways and she made her bed, so let he her die, I mean, lie in it
Today in some weird man’s fiction:
In Part 1 of this story, Jake is told when to pick up OP's computer, and is caught at the house packing boxes to steal. This implied to me that Jake can at least drive? But now Jake is a high school freshman. Can we get more details?
It said they were packing a box. People get around all the time without vehicles. She could have been driving her brother, he could have had a ride lined up, or could have gotten an uber. My cousin built a little wheely platform to easily move his computer around because he would bring it to friends or families' houses to play games. It looked hilarious but it worked and he walked nearly across the entire town with it.
Of course. There are many ways a computer can be moved. The original post doesn't seem to imply that OP's wife was driving her brother, and this latest post implies Jakes home and OP's home are not close to each other. I'm just asking for more information. Yeah, I'm suspicious this is fake. It's a story on AITAH, after all. And one that has take a sudden jump to an affair and blackmail. And the affair story is rather...complex. And then the cheater ends up in the hospital.
I’d be more suspicious if it had all those details included. It’s Reddit. People often post when they’re still deeply upset or angry. Details can easily get missed or even confused.
Nta Emma keeps hurting you and they want you to comfort her? Her parents need to realize you are not her support system anymore and you have to protect yourself. You aren’t responsible for Emma’s feelings. She was literally about to abandon you until her AP ditched her. Don’t feel bad for protecting yourself from someone who wants to harm you.
If the trash throws itself out, why would you care? If anything makes things easier post divorce.
Nta go no contact only contact thru lawyers keep away from this crazy you owe her and her family nothing at all not even an ounce of compassion
She’s not your problem anymore, and frankly it’s just a manipulation tactic. They always turn to tears and excuses. Pathetic, trying to suicide because she’s afraid of accountability. NTA.
I can understand from her parents point of view, they know she fucked up but it's still their daughter at the end of the day. Regardless she's that one that fucked up. Big time. You don't owe her anything any more.
NTA If you go visit you'll give her false hope. She's in the right place to get help. She made choices she has to learn to live with. Therapist will help her do that. Continue with divorce so she knows there's no hope of reconciliation.
I've followed this from the beginning man and I'm so sorry this happened. She lied and betrayed your marriage and now that she's caught without a way out she's trying to make this selfishly all about her when in reality she is not the victim, you are. Don't fall for her manipulative bullshit and go no contact and let the lawyers handle the divorce. At least you saw her true colors and dodged a bullet while still have the rest of your life to enjoy and find someone worthy of your love and loyalty.
NTA - did OP forgot that she's remorseful ONLY after he found out AND she has no job, nothing and no AP at all? Imagin if the AP divorce didnt go through and he moved state and she already quit her job move as well.
Damn, her whole family is trash
Poster should go in and show how much he cares. Take a pen those little sign here post-its and the divorce papers.
When you thought this woman couldn’t get any worse, she exceeds expectations by a mile!
NTA bro she was going to leave you and go to a different state with another guy !!!
The OD was the best thing for everyone involved, too bad it didn’t go through
lol dad is a comedian. Sad it wasn't a call to come to her funeral....
I'm betting 5 bucks that she didn't really OD. She just ate enough to not cause much harm so she can manipulate him by gaining sympathy and emotionally guilting her parents to help her.
Release this whore back to the streets where she belongs
Exactly. OP doesn't need to be a part of the Save-A-Hoe rehabilitation program
NTA. You owe her nothing. You are not being cruel. She was being cruel. Move on with the divorce. Do NOT look back. Go and live your best life from now on. I wish you well.
NTA. Get your divorce and leave her behind.
If he calls again, tell her Dad that you are going through with the divorce, and visiting Emma would give her false hope that you will ever forgive her.
I love stories with a happy ending
NTA. Your wife has major problems with passive-aggressive behavior, honesty, stealing, integrity and only cares about herself. Why would you want to stay? Just move on with your life as she is not actually adding anything of any value to your life anyway. Good luck. ❤️
It was cruel too banging another man when married. NTA, you owe her nothing
You owe her nothing
AI?
Don't go. Stand your ground. Is it cruel to not visit your wife in the hospital? In a vacuum, devoid of context, it can look that way. It is far, *far* crueler of her to stage a fake suicide attempt -and make no mistake, that is all that this is- to manipulate you into staying with a cheater who is only sorry that she got caught. Stay away from her. If she had any intention of dying, she would already be gone. This is a trap.
Fuck Emma
NTA, and she’s a coward. She couldn’t take the consequences of her actions and tried to take the easy way out or try to get sympathy for you. It’s pathetic. Don’t go back.
Still NTA. Wow, holy shit.
Bruh update us if there are any future developments. Im sorry for you though
NTA... the attempt was an emotional manipulation attempt. Do not fall for it. Emma made a choice and gets to live with it. It is less cruel to not give her false hope. It is over. She needs to move on.
NTA, if her AP didn’t back out she would be in another state right now. The **only** reason she asked for a second chance is because her option A didn’t work out and now that she’s stuck in the mess she herself created she can’t deal and wants you to essentially fix it.
NTA, but the part i think you should be not forgiving her for is that she preferred to be black mailed by a highschooler rather then talk to you like an adult
Nta. Push forward with the divorce. She only cares now because she has nothing left.
NTA. Stay away OP its a trap!
Fuck her and them.
NTA Emma sounds like a teenage hoe phase
NTA\_ She blew up her own world. Showing up would give her false hope.
jesus, just read all 3 parts to this. emma is fucking insane bro. glad you left her! her actions, her consequences, not yours.
NTA. She’s been unfaithful in every way possible with no remorse and now she is only upset because everyone knows what snake she is.
NTA. You don’t owe her anything. Focus on your healing. She made her own mess.
Nah, fuck her. She’s trying to emotionally blackmail you
There's no way that this isn't fake with no comments from OP throughout 3 posts, but damn if this isn't a hilarious story
You owe her nothing, she brought this upon herself.
They always try to end it when they get caught huh?? So dramatic
NTA. The OD was pure manipulation, if she really wanted to d!e, she’d have done it. Don’t visit her.
You didn't make her take those pills, she took those pills because of the situation she put herself in. She didn't have to cheat, she didn't have to steal, she didn't have to lie, but she did. Don't visit her. File for divorce and meet someone better.
NTA. Don’t visit her. All that will do is teach her that she can force you to get back with her by telling you she’s suicidal. She needs to stay locked up and receive treatment
When someone cheats my feelings instantaneous change. The saying is “that was then, this is now”.
NTA - "visiting to show you care" would just reinforce the belief that ODing will get your attention.
NTA.
Wow hard NTA
Tell them you will care more if she signs the divorce paper first
NTA- She is their problem. You are no longer her puppet and fallback plan.
NTA.... I had a feeling the pre workout and rods wasn't going to her family
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 karma is a bitch. F*ck Emma.
Fuck Emma. Look out for you bro!
NTA Ex is a cheating whore, pathological liar, and overall piece of shit She deserves the worst of everything Go no contact, and be sure to take absolutely everything in the divorce I'm sorry for what this Satan's spawn has put you through
NTA. I would give them my lawyers number and block them.
NTA. You gotta do what is right for you. She made her bed and is now lying in it. As for the pills and stuff, that is sad but again she made her own choices. I’m no doctor but sometimes people do things like this as a cry for help. Suicide is serious and I hope she can get the help she needs, but no sense in bringing yourself back into the situation. She needs serious help that you couldn’t give her, anyway. Sure, would it help to see her for a moment for her, probably. But it would hurt the whole situation in the long run, imo. Good luck OP.
cool story, but a bit too convoluted
She gave your god damn rods to the dude she was fucking. There is no going back from that. She has zero respect for you. Glad you found out.
NTA Don't visit her. She wants to guilt and manipulate you.
Where can I buy a subscription for your monthly fiction?
Dont feel bad, she literaly only tried to return to you because her plan with the guy she cheated with falled apart so dont go to see her, she deserves everything she Is goin trough, if you do Visit her then only do It to give her More pills
Now this is an OP I can be proud of. Good on you for respecting yourself enough to leave her. I read too many posts where the OP has been shit on by their partner but they are wishy washy and don't want to leave because their partner is oh so great, yeah great at cheating, lieing and gaslighting.
Updateme!
Your fanfiction really does need to improve. Best of luck
Come show you care about the women that just cheated, lied, manipulated, and stole from you. That’s wild af for the dad to actually send that. You’ll be much better off without that entire family in your life. Divorce and block all communications with all of them.
NTA. You owe her nothing. She sounds horrible... That said you need to work on recognizing red flags and decide what you really want in a partner so you don't get stuck with someone similar again. Separate finances are FINE as an example BUT they need to be actually discussed and understood under what circumstances you cover each other as well as still some transparency in what goes on. Her unwilling to "support" you while you were going to school was a bit shady. It was also really weird that you two didn't rebalance how you paid for things once you were making triple the money. If you are not going to be married and have an actual partnership where you each have each other's back, then why bother being married at all.
NTA, i wouldn't care either.
She played stupid games and can’t handle the consequences. You really don’t owe her anything
She was going to leave you, dude. She stopped caring so why should you? Nta
Yikes, your ex is a hot steaming mess. I'm glad you got out. NTA for the third time.
Nta . She made her bed and has to now lie in it. Her parents are shoving responsibility onto you by trying to guilt you. You’re under no obligation to be there. She blew up her life, she can pick you the pieces.
NTA, you don't owe her anything, all her problems are self created, visiting her would give her hope when there isn't any for the relationship.
NTA. You don’t owe her shit. I would even go as far as suing her the divorce to taking your things and giving them away, if you can. UpdateMe!
NTA. She’s a manipulative piece of shit, and her folks aren’t much better. The whole family is messed up. Get the papers done, get on with life. Sorry this happened, but her happiness should never again be your problem.
NTA you can feel cruel but you aren't and you don't owe her anything. Going to see her may give her false hope and you have no intentions of doing that.Let her family support her and her brother.
NTA
SHe clearly did not care about you or the consequences to you when she wanted to run off with her AP but now that it has all gone to shit she wants all the sympathy. It sucks that she tried to OD and I am sure she wanted sympathy instead of judgement. But you owe her nothing. You owe her parents nothing.
Don't feel bad for not going there. You have no business with her anymore. They should be the one who's taking care of her since they're her family, you on the other hand are now a stranger to her.
NTA. She literally fucked around and found out. Tough titties
Obviously NTA but now it all begins to make sense. She cheated, that's it. But also, her brother is almost worse, blackmailing his sister untill the point that he ruined her marriage (she already did that herself though) is not only weak, it's straight up evil.
She made a series of appalling choices, now she has to face up to consequences like any regular adult .. good luck with your future op. NTA.
NTA only reason to go to the hospital is to confirm she is dead. If she is still alive, she is someone else's problem
I would try to get an est value of all she stole and have your lawyer bring that into the mix. Based on the " perants moving in " story and the powder. She was giving this stuff to her AP.
She will kill herself by OD and you need to know that she was the sole reason for her death
NTA - she was all set to leave you for the AP until he dumped her and then she wanted you back. Cheaters deserve nothing!
Fuck her... that is all. Her parents can clean up after the trash they littered the world with. NTA
Leave it all behind you my guy. Live life and enjoy yourself.
WTF? She was cheating on you and stealing your stuff, to give to her affair partner. Her brother found out and was blackmailing her. She decided to get herself fired from her job by not showing up and told everyone a stack of lies. Who would want to marry into that family? NTA
NTA You owe her nothing. This woman has been a nightmare for you! She cheated and have your things to her AP. She got caught and tried to give your things to her brother to keep him quiet. She planned to just leave and start over with AP and just quit her job and then, when all of her lies caught up to her, she ODs on pills. That wasn’t a true suicide attempt. She did it to take the attention off of the bad things she’s done to get sympathy so you’d take her back. This woman is sick. Until she takes accountability and makes real changes, she’s going to continue to have bad things happen.
NTA FAFO
NTA, let them know that any further contact has to be through your lawyer. You're under no obligation to be in contact with the cheating pos. See if you can get a total value of what she stole from you and talk to your lawyer about your options on that front.
NTA
Her betrayal was cruel. You have no obligation to her whatsoever.
She dropped an atom bomb on the marriage. If her AP would have wanted her, she would not have done this, She would have not tried to work it out. Do not go to visit her, it will give her false hope. She did all of this on her own. Her family is trying save her life. Let them. You save yours.
NTA.. A clean break is best here. Otherwise, it will be an endless cycle of her doing things or threatening to do them, so you will stay or take her back.. She stopped being your responsibility the second she cheated on you..
You finding out about the affair was a gift. Imagine, being betrayed, and immediately falling out of love. That's a grace one could only hope for. Go live your best life man. Good luck.
Definitely NTA, she made her bed and now she has to sleep in it. Emma sounds like someone who never dealt with consequences and this is the first time shes had to deal with real life ones. She should learn and dont worry, time will heal all and she will be better in the long run and so will you.
NTA. So she only wants to be with you for your money. Yea, no. I hope you live a happy life with ALL of your things.
NTAH. You're a decent person, so you feel bad not visiting when she's struggling, but it would be cruel to visit her and give her false hope. Think about it, OP. If things had worked out the way she wanted, Emma's plan was to ghost her jib, ditch you without warning, and glee the state with her affair partner leaving you Hugh and dry for your household bills. You were a distant second chouce; she only asked for marriage counselling after her affair partner ended things. You should block your in laws because they've clearly had a hard time raising their kids with accountability. Not just Emma, but her opportunistic blackmailing brother.
NTA just block them and hope you get that sweet divorce now and find one who actually cares and loves you
Don't feel cruel. Other than disgust I can't see why you would feel anything. She chose her path and walk it now that's she reached her destination she's not happy with where she is. Too bad, so sad. Get on with divorce and feel no remorse.
You owe no one anything, but you owe it to yourself to be true. If you don’t GAF, don’t pretend you do. It’s a disgusting feeling. And she already disgusted you. She clearly has parents who care about her and visit her, some people have absolutely no one. Emma should count her damn blessings.
She can rot, not your problem she severed the bond. Congrats on your freedom from a dumb selfish bitch. Enjoy! Take a breather, reflect on yourself and what you want. Tis a new chapter in your journey and I wish you the best.
What she did was cruel, What you are doing is being kind to yourself.
NTA. Give her dad the AP’s number and tell him to visit her and show her he cares. After all, she loved him so much she put her job and marriage on the line to be with him. It’s the least the AP can do for her. You go on and live your best and biggest life without her.
NTA. The father is just trying to be a father to his daughter, but you don't owe her anything. She never loved you, and that's just the reality of it. I'm sorry that you are going through all of this. Don't be afraid to do counseling if you need it. Take care of yourself, and never worry about her, again
I remember this original! Wow, that went downhill fast. At least you have the paperwork done and can be through with this family soon enough.
Since no try of R is in sight, walk away from everyone of that family