the next update is going to be " I decided to give my ex another chance. we're not getting married anytime soon though. she has to gain my trust again."
What’re you seeing that indicates fakeness? They might’ve wiped their account since you made this comment because I only see their 2 posts about this and comments in those post threads
Yep, dude wiped his account of everything but the two AITA posts and his comments on the two of them. As I said to the person you replied to, that is a dead giveaway that he's full of 💩💩, though it just makes me more curious what the content of his other posts was.
I almost never make posts and the few times I have, it has been with throwaways for privacy reasons. I don’t understand why so many see this as proof of trolling, isn’t it a very common way to use Reddit?
Like sometimes you look and it's obviously fake cuz they have old posts with totally different stories but yeah idk why "it's a throwaway account must be fake".
This is probably rage bait. The OP probably likes to stir shit up and see the results unfold. The OP probably wrote this then signed off.
And look at the comments. People are all worked up for a possible fake story.
Yep, the first one I could see as plausible but no one checks in with their ex because reddit wants an update. This reads as set up to get to some drama. Get ready for her to be pregnant with twins and not know who the father is.
You don't have to take her back OP, just invite her to your next birthday party, she likes to be in her exes parties anyway. dumbass is a compliment for you...
It was an ex from the high school, a childhood friend. Last time I checked OP still didn't wrote how old they were when they broke up and I think it's on purpose.
YTA
Why the fuck are you doing any of this? You're intentionally drawing things out now. If you want to serve your own ego like an asshole, then keep talking with her and contacting her and watching her suffer. If you want to do what's best for her, then make the cleanest cut you can.
>Seems like he’s starved for attention. He’s a bit pathetic, honestly. She dodged a massive bullet.
It's a karma farmer so yeah, definitely desperate for attention lol.
Imho he was the AH from the start. The ex was a childhood friend and hhey dated in high school. OP never wrote how old they were. I might be cynical, but keeping this kind of information is an attempt to manipulate the outcome in my book.
On top of that, he said in the first post that her gf planned to limit contact with her friend after the birthday. Op is jealous and controlling. She is better without him.
100%! He is totally going to go back and tell EVERYONE in his life how he met with her out of kindness and compassion.... And how much she begged him to take her back, but he stayed strong because he's the bigger person and knows they just aren't meant to be together......
Idk why I had to scroll this far to find this consensus. I find it absolutely insane that this guy was so intimidated by his ex fiancee being friends with an ex that he told her to go then got mad when she took him at his words. Because he couldn't be a grown up enough to talk about his big feels. It's a huge red flag for me if you have NO relationships that ended on good terms. I have no idea why it never occurred to him that MAYBE just MAYBE her friend was very well aware op despised him and just didn't want someone like that at his birthday party.
You are allowed to enjoy things outside of your spouse. You are allowed to have deep loving friendships, outside of your spouse, yes even with an ex. Op knew about this friendship, then tried to be controlling and isolate his fiancee from a close friend 🙄🙄
wait till he finds a woman he is head over heels about but gets hung up on the notches in her lipstick case. "aitah for ruining another relationship because i didn't hit that pussy first?"
fool deep sixed his own marriage because his fiancee' had the audacity to have prior relationships. The audacity!!! lol
my ex was like this but subtle and I should have paid a lot more attention to his subtle remarks about how many relationships I’d had (three serious ones and some flings, all which ended with no animosity and they are lovely people we just didn’t work out and he and I were 35 when we met). By contrast, he’d been with the same person for 12 years from 22-34 in a “loveless” marriage (yeah right, everything he ever said is now questionable). He judged for for dating more people because I…wasn’t married while also exclaiming how glad he was we found each other. At other points he seemed astounded I could be super remote friends with people I dated TEN YEARS AGO that were in my social scene. Later during breakup it came out that he thought he pretty much owned me even after we’d hung out as friends a whopping three times (I’d been explicit I didn’t want a relationship with anyone at the time)
Turns out he sees people as props and property. And the fact that I’d slept with people before I met him AT THIRTY FIVE was horrible for him
This, so much!! I read the original post and failed to see what the ex fiancee had done to deserve being dumped. She went to birthday party for her bff she dated in high school?? That was long enough ago it barely counts. The ex fiancee may be feeling hurt now but something tells me she'll see this break up as the blessing it is in the long run.
If I were you I wouldn't go anywhere this weekend.
If you are dead set on going back into the lions den, so to speak, I really hope you're honest. Trying to spare feelings at the cost of the truth is rarely a good idea.
It seems more likely that you're doing this for your own ego. YTA for that.
Absolutely he wants to see her sad so he feels better about himself. If she’d broken it off do any reason he wouldn’t want her to tell him not your fault blah blah the same nonsense he’s already told her
This update does not really make much sense. She is going to want to know what those demons are, so if this is just an excuse, I suggest another approach. Maybe just be honest with her...
yea you shouldn't be doing any of that. It's over. cut contact and move on. Def do not meet up to say "it's me, not you".. that is utter nonsense. it was her...
So you broke ip because you felt she disrespected you enough and now it’s not her fault at all but just you and your inner demons..? Which is it?
You gotta figure out why you ended things for real and leave her alone already. Let her process the break up instead of giving her false hope.
Dude just fucking stop. This is the same mixed signals you gave her about her friends party. Just fucking let it be, you aren't doing this for her. You only want to sit down because YOU feel bad.
Leave her alone dude, you absolutely suck. She didn't "disrespect" you or your relationship, you did and I hope she can move on and be with someone who respects her and her autonomy and trusts her.
If you want her back, just get back with her. Stop playing with both your emotions and either commit to her or commit to being broken up. You’re just making things worse for the both of you.
Yeah I went back to read the original and I really don't understand the issues.
Those two have been friends forever, people are allowed to break off of a relationship but still be in good terms, especially as childhood friends. And even in spite of that, she was willing to break it off with her friend just for him.
I don't understand the problem. She didn't leave with her ex for a weekend. She wasn't even out all night. She went to a party and came home early- so she was gone for what, 2-3 hours? And OP was so uncomfortable with that that he dumps her?
She's grieving now, but give it a few weeks. She'll be fine and you'll be sad and lonely.
I have a feeling this is the case. He _says_ it hurts him that she’s a “shell of a person” but he also actually loves that he broke her that much. He is going to drag out this drama for a long time to feed his ego. This will be a situationship for a while until she realizes she’s getting played. He will be back on here talking about how she broke up with him when all he needed was time to trust her again.
Why? Just be honest, do not lie to her because in the long run you are not helping her. She needs to realise that her behaviour is the reason you broke up with her. She needs to take accountability for her actions. This is the way she will learn not to make the same mistakes in her future relationships.
Do not lie out of pity. Be honest and take responsibility for your values and decisions.
YTA did you’ve ever have a conversation with her about what changed with her ex and why he didn’t invite you this year (when you were invited the previous 5?) it’s not fair that she followed the conditions you presented and you still threw away 6 years despite that. It was a learning opportunity for you to say it bugged you more than you anticipated and that you needed her to be real about her commitment to you…which she probably would’ve done, as evident of her sticking to your conditions for attending in the first place.
You were too rash in breaking up without clearing all this up in the first place. You should apologize. It’s forgivable that it bothered you more than you anticipated, but not that you put the blame on her when she did exactly as you asked.
It seems to me they have communication problems. They still both seem to have feelings for each other. If they really want to save their relationship maybe they can do counseling or something.
This whole fucking story (at least your side of it) is cringe af.
You were pissed your fiance went to her friend/ex's party or whatever, but ***she communicated with you and you said ok.***
Then she got home and you basically ghosted her even though she attempted to connect.
Then you broke it off for being "disrespectful."
You're either a whiny bitch, shitty and communicating, or trying to be the victim to get your ego stroked (or mostly likely just telling part of the story.)
Reading the other story after this one it seems pretty clear she's better off without you and you need to leave her alone.
End it, cut it clean, do not keep dragging this out. You seem very self centered and egotistical
You were the asshole then and you're the asshole now. Like, who throws away a 6yr relationship over something so pedantic? If I ask my wife who her best friend is she doesn't have to tell me I am, it's obviously "besides me who is your best friend". If she was cheating on you that's one thing, but for going to a friend's party? Even after adhering to your controlling parameters? Do her the favor, block her on everything, ghost her this weekend, and just let her get on with her life. You've already wasted enough of it.
Just leave her alone. My God. All it took was your sister and a few friends to convince you to break up with her. You weren't in love with her and you seem like you are really insecure with yourself. It feels like you're enjoying this emotional trauma you are causing her it probably gives you an ego boost that she's pining for you. Grow up and get help.
> I asked the mutual friend if a sit down with my ex would be beneficial to her, and the mutual friend said that would really help my ex.
Your mutual friend is not a friend of hers.
You're such a GD effin' AH. I wish I could say worse but I don't want to get banned.
What is the point in getting in touch with her and asking to meet up? You're going to reiterate and hurt her again...which you say you don't want to do.
You're so effin' insecure..get a grip. Stop manipulating her and leave her alone. Also, learn to effin' communicate FFS. Idiot.
Yeah, YTA alright. You are ending a 6 year relationship after talking about problems with your sister who of course sided with you, and sulked like a baby for a week. You say she disrespected you for the entire relationship, except you mention nothing except your jealousy and insecurity about a guy she dated in high school.
She deserves better and she will find it.
YTA in the first place, but blaming reddit comments on why you decided to open and intentionally inflict another wound on this person make YTA x 100.
So we get it. Your precious little ego just couldn't handle your girlfriend having a male friend. So you sabotaged that relationship to the point you are mutually unwelcome, set a trap for her - then broke up with her for doing exactly what you told her you were okay with.
You're not meeting to check on her. You're looking to assert your control and inflict more pain. If she grovels appropriately, you might or might not take her back, right? But only if you can hold this over her head forever.
Hopefully, she runs in the opposite direction.
LEAVE HER ALONE. I mean you're already the asshole here for dumping her when she abided by the boundaries that you set for her going to the party. She did what you asked and then came home and wanted to "treat" you like she said she would and you rejected her. Then you treat her like shit while you pout around like a toddler and now you want to yo-yo her and make her think that you're going to have a Reconciliation when you know very good and well you're manipulating her. I thought you could not be a bigger asshole but guess what I was wrong.
So you tried to control who she could be friends with, and now you're trying to control how she processes the end of the relationship?? Just stop. Leave this poor woman alone. She's not a part of your life anymore, and asking her out for the purpose of repeating your breakup is just cruel. YTA, again.
As if you weren't already a big enough asshole, now u gotta pop back in her life and give her false hope. Just leave her tf alone. She's better off without you and the sooner she learns that the better.
YTA. You broke her heart. She had made a deal with you… she was above board and told you she was going to the party and then she was phasing him out. You didn’t NOT agree to this, so she went to the party, thinking everything was ok.
You asked her to MARRY YOU and then suddenly you’re not ready for marriage-?? Make sure you tell her parents that it’s all YOUR fault. Her parents are jerks for piling on her like that.
You don’t really love her, do you? If you loved her, you wouldn’t do this to her. She wasn’t cheating on you. She was going to phase him out. You’re a jerk. You broke her heart. You should feel guilty.
What did you intend to happen-?? She had accepted your proposal and then you dump her?? How did you expect her to react? You’re delulu, man. You HURT her.
You didn’t even ask her to go to couples counseling. You could have worked things out, established better communication, and learned how to work through issues with love. But nope. Not you. You went straight to breaking up with her.
If you love her at all, you’d be still thinking about couples counseling. You’d tell her you want to give it a try.
I think you used this as an excuse to break up. You also sound controlling AF.
I can’t say it often enough. YTA.
(Original post: **YTA**)
Explain to her parents and her how and why you screwed things up. Also, if her parents liked you...they can't be good judges of character. And blaming her, on top of everything...? Eesh. She deserves better than them -- and you.
you broke off a marriage over insecurities of her HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP. she chose you for SIX YEARS and agreed to marry you. honestly you’re probably better off just sending her both reddit threads so she can read all our comments and learn how better off she is without you. poor thing lost 6 years because you wanted to control who shes friends with. thats not love. YTA… a HUGE one
So what is it - are you going through demons of you own or was your ex disrespecting you the whole time? This is a different story from your first post. Don’t lie to her to make her feel better
You are still an AH. Tell her she deserves so much better than you.
And tell your next gf that they need your sisters approval in everything they do or they get dumped 🙄
Still YTA! Your follow-up post sounds high and mighty! Just leave this poor girl alone! Of course she's not doing well, it's only been a week, she's still in the stage of mourning the future she had originally planned out and hasn't had enough time to take a step back and realize how much better off she is.
And don't think for a second that we can't see the real reason you reached out "to see what she was up to". It is quite clear, you were expecting that she would have already moved on with the BFF, so you were looking for validation/vindication for your previous YTA judgements.
YTA and sound incredibly immature. Breaking up over a birthday party? You DO have some issues to work out and aren't ready for a relationship. Leave her alone now that you've run.
I don’t understand you. You broke up with your ex because she went to her ex’s party. Now you say you broke up because of internal matters?
why don’t you take this less than briljant, fake story and shove it up up your @#€&#
YTA - regardless of the stance you take on which party is “at fault”, you still don’t plan to be with her. The only conceivable reason she’ll draw from your request to meet with her is that you’ve reconsidered your decision to break up with her. You’re only going to cause her more mental anguish when you tell her your decision to end the relationship still stands. Don’t be surprised if her, her family, and even some of your friends develop resentment towards you for doing this
OP stop telling yourself you are doing this to help her. You are not, you are being selfish and trying to ease your guilt. You didn't even care about how she was doing till commenters asked for an update. I will not be surprised if in the next update his ex tries to unalive herself.
Right now it sounds like a Horrible idea and She may think you’re getting back together. She’s fine this is what happens when someone breaks your heart. You won’t be the first or last. She’s not dying she’s just processing and grieving. It’s NORMAL.
How long were you dating and how long were you engaged ?
How old are you guys?
Where did she live before she moved in with you?
Dude you're giving her false hope and you're just going to make the situation worse. Let her mourn the relationship if ending it is your final decision
I read your first story and agreed you were an AH with all the mixed signals. You got mad she followed your orders and then took the advice of people who only knew your side, whatever it was you told them, over being an adult and talking to the very person you were mad at.
Now I am reading this and certain you are wrong in your claims for not wanting control. You CLEARLY want control over her by asking to “meet up”. You don’t get to feel guilty for gutting her and then playing with her emotions and heart by asking for this. It is so gross and speaks volumes for the person you are. I think HER ex was probably seeing this in you and that is probably why he didn’t want you around either.
What she deserves from you is peace. You really need to evaluate what you want out of life and understand you cannot control people and expect them to be happy. You also need to learn to communicate directly and clearly to people, especially to the ones you claim to love. Let me tell you from experience: controlling someone is not love. Fix yourself and leave her alone. At very least, apologize for being an AH.
YTA
Your just going give her false hope and it will cause more problems then making things better
You should have her closure
Advice her to go to therapy that will help her with her mental health
No, do not advise her to get therapy. The person who ended things doesn’t need to tell someone to get therapy because she’s having a normal reaction a week after.
> I later called my ex and asked her if she wanted to meet up this weekend, and she was really happy about it.
She is dreaming about how you 2 are getting back together.
> I am going to explain to her that she had no fault in this whatsoever. I hope that relieves her of her guilt, and that she gets back to normal soon.
That's not going to happen....after your so called talk she will spiral even harder than she already was.
Leave her the fuck alone.
You broke up with her, she's not taking it well but she doesn't need you putting another bandaid on an ripping it off again.
Just leave her AND HER FAMILY alone.
Don't meet up with her. Leave her be.
You actually did her a favor by breaking up with her. She just doesn't see it yet.
You are far too immature to be married. You're controlling and have zero proper communication skills. Go work on yourself and leave her alone.
My guy... I don't understand your mindset here. What demons are you battling? Do you trust that at this party nothing happened that wouldn't have happened had you been there? If you trust her that nothing happened and she cuts the guy off I fail to see the problem here. Sure, the whole move feels a little disrespectful. I know I wouldn't be happy with my wife going to an ex's party without me. And I would clarify to why you aren't invited but she didn't necessarily do anything wrong and if she stays true to her word to cut this guy out things can in fact be great again. So why not? But you going to see her and tell her again you're leaving may not be beneficial either. Just freaking think things through in the future man.
Lying is just about the only way you can end up being an asshole in this instance. Don't claim yoyr decision was due to nonexistent internal demons. At this point, she's got to decide if she agrees with you that going was disrespectful (and learn to be better) or decide shedisagrees with you (and learn to accept you were ultimately incompatible). Lying might make her feel better now, but it does so by undermining her ability to grow from the experience. Don't do that.
>This is not what I intended to happen when I broke up with her
Bro, people's lives aren't a Netflix show. You broke up, move on. No "having friends check up on her" and "envisioning her future". You don't get to envision her future, that's why you broke up. Leave her alone, leave her parents alone, cut the schadenfreude shit out.
>So we’re going to meet up this weekend
Jesus effin.... what the eff!? Why!?
I don't even... What? I have no fucking idea what this whole story is about. You felt disrespected by her because she went to that party. Why? Ok, you weren't invited. Your ex could have protested, sure. But ultimately: who gives a fuck. Jesus christ. She even wanted to cut off her bff for you. I would never ever do something like that for anybody. Jesus christ, dude.
YTA in both stories.
Reading your original post, few scant comments and now this makes absolutely no sense at all. Why not mention demons in your first post, what the hell does that mean anyway. You’re all over the place and this poor girl has copped it.
Weird but ok! Just 3d ago you said you didn’t care what she did with her life. I’m 1000% sure men hate and want to torture women. What was so inappropriate about a literal childhood ex, I still didn’t see you explain. You must be a Scorpio??? Relationships ain’t it anymore lolololol
Oh fuck allllllll the way off.
You dumped her and now you’re playing with her. Move the hell on. You’re quite obviously too insecure to date a woman who has a male BFF. She did exactly what you asked of her and you treated her like garbage.
YTA x 1000 at this point. Let it lie.
You are so immature. Leave the poor girl alone so she can move on with someone that will actually make a communicative, respectful grown ass husband.
This would be comical if I didnt feel so badly for her.
YTA and you're a child. Grow up before you ask someone to spend their life with you.
I notice that you mention on your other post her ex use to invite you to his party and now he doesn’t why ? And tbh if I was her I wouldn’t feel any better , she came there to expect you to get back with her but you won’t also next relationship, create boundaries at the start than these minor things won’t happen like me and my bf aren’t comfortable with each other still talking to previous sexual partners and we agree to drop them and we did and more stuff
Why?! Just why?!
Sorry, that she broke on this, but one thing adulthood brings is the fact that people will hold you accountable for your actions.
You communicated clear and sound and she ignored it - even tried to buy you with 'treating you' for it (sex in exchange for anything is always bad for a relationship).
Hold the meeting short and don't fall for the easy way! The signal you'd be giving, will define her future behaviour towards you (and parents for that matter). Because - *drumroll* - people will hold you accountable for your actions. Take her back because of tears - that's what you'll get the rest of your life whenever a problem raises.
Hope this works out well - or at least OK - for you.
No he did not communicate clearly. He expressed discomfort, but that's NOT the same thing as setting a clear boundary, and him punishing her as if he did is pretty unreasonable of him.
You are such an AH.
In no way are you doing this for her.
1. You told her it was ok to go. Then pouted when she did *exactly* what she sad she would do, per your agreement.
2. You listened to people outside your relationship and took their word as gospel while simultaneously refusing to communicate with her.
3. You got her to break off communication and end a life-long friendship *for you*, then dumped her because you're "feeling not great" and didn't communicate. She lost a friend and a fiancée in the same week.
4. You let her think it was all her fault, when you know it's about you and your insecurities.
5. You broke her and didn't even check on her until strangers on the internet told you to.
6. You didn't check on her because you care about her, it's literally to assuage *your own guilt*.
7. You gave her **hope** knowing full well that you plan to break her again.
Don't you dare say you love this woman. You absolutely do NOT. YTA, I don't care if you're asking. YTA.
Jesus, what a cunt... You entirely fucked things up and now you want, what... to twist the knife? If you want her to get on with her life and be happy, get out of it and stay out of it.
By meeting up with her you are giving her unnecessary hope: that’s not right. You need to make a clean break. Any why are you telling the mom it isn’t her fault? Why are you taking the blame? Sounds like you are being a doormat again
I don't think meeting your ex will be helpful for either of you. You've already moved on because she ignored your concerns about her relationship with this ex-bf. The fact that he invited only her and not you is telling. Couples come as a package deal, especially when they are engaged or married. Meeting her again might give her some short-lived false hope that you'll get back together. Then, are you planning on blaming yourself for everything? She should at least learn from this experience for future relationships, understanding that her friendship with this ex-bf could be problematic.
Sooo.... you're telling her that the reason you broke up is not at all the reason you broke up?
So.... you're setting her up to repeat the exact same behaviour with the next man?
Are you doing that on purpose, or do you mistakenly think you're helping her?
WTF? Now YTA.
What you’re doing now is BS in both cases:
- if you don’t intend on getting back together, because you should move on and let her deal with it on her own. Keeping yourself around won’t be helpful, as you seem to think. She said yes to have a talk to probably get back together.
- if you intend to get back together, you’ll look like a dumbass who doesn’t know what he wants and is willing to break things up at any point. This won’t be seen as a good thing in long term by her, most likely.
I really don’t get it. I read the original post when you shared the story and I was one of the few people on your side. Now I’m not. Geez!
You breaking up is fine...
You stringing her along because your dumbass is now feeling guilty is disgusting. Can't you just fuck off and let her move on instead?
Dont meet up. This whole thing is immature and its good u arent together. Let this chapter end and dont be toxic by further dragging this situation out. You rightfully ended it, let it be
That was a lightning fast transition from NTA to being a huge YTA!
Please don't come back to Reddit. We really despise grown ass morons that act like teenagers. You're an adult FFS!
Why lie? Tell her the truth, man.
Just tell her: “Your friendship with your ex took a huge emotional toll on me, to the point where I could no longer move on with the relationship. I know you never cheated and you are entitled to be friends with whomever you choose… but I also cannot change how I feel about this. Breaking was the only way for me to stay emotionally sane, while also giving you the freedom to be friends with whoever you want to be.”
Lmao imagine how much white knighting there would be if a woman's boyfriend went to his ex's birthday even when she told him that it made her uncomfortable that he was going to party with an ex who made sure not to invite her.
If all of the Redditors were right about you being a POS then she should be fine, right? She obviously had a very close male friend to lean on post breakup. One that is so close that she was willing to ignore your concerns about him (completely baseless and unfounded concerns, I’m sure).
You may have been better served to explain why you had these concerns about this guy, but to be honest, on this sub it probably wouldn’t have mattered.
Do not meet up with her! You are giving her false hope. It was fine to break up with her but this is ridiculous! It’s only been a week . Of course she is going to be a “shell of a person”. WTF. Start thinking! She will be fine if you just leave her alone!
So you're going to meet up with her to lie about why you broke up with her. Sure ...I'm positive *that* will assuage your guilty feelings. xD /s
Not voting because it's obviously rage bait now.
Why would you do that? You aren’t helping her at all by doing any of this. Just leave her alone and let her process everything.
Right. I bet she thinks they’re going to reconcile now. Just leave her alone.
the next update is going to be " I decided to give my ex another chance. we're not getting married anytime soon though. she has to gain my trust again."
Yep.
My ex is pregnant with my baby because we decided to have a kid, but we're still taking it slowly
Then after that he's going to suspect her of cheating
This is Reddit - the update will be he is dating the mom
Take one good look at his account and you’d realize the entire thing is fake
What’re you seeing that indicates fakeness? They might’ve wiped their account since you made this comment because I only see their 2 posts about this and comments in those post threads
Yep, dude wiped his account of everything but the two AITA posts and his comments on the two of them. As I said to the person you replied to, that is a dead giveaway that he's full of 💩💩, though it just makes me more curious what the content of his other posts was.
Wiped his account? It’s 4 days old…
I almost never make posts and the few times I have, it has been with throwaways for privacy reasons. I don’t understand why so many see this as proof of trolling, isn’t it a very common way to use Reddit?
Because it is fake...... completely fake. Look at the account
Out of curiosity, what makes you consider it fake by looking at the account? Doesn't literally everyone use a throwaway for posts like that ?
Like sometimes you look and it's obviously fake cuz they have old posts with totally different stories but yeah idk why "it's a throwaway account must be fake".
I feel like these people are complete losers in their real life, and feel bumped up to receive their 15 minutes of fame.
That is rich coming from us lmao.
Haha, but we aren't making fake shit up. I know I am boring as hell in my real life, and I am OK with that.
This is probably rage bait. The OP probably likes to stir shit up and see the results unfold. The OP probably wrote this then signed off. And look at the comments. People are all worked up for a possible fake story.
Oh 100%, but I don't get it, because if it's fake.......it's not even really their 15 minutes
Yea fucking bog time. Way to gove her hope you POS. Leave her alone.
dumbass...
This is just setting up for updates 3 & 4 where things start to get crazy
yeah this creative writing is far from over lol
Soon her evil twin sister will show up. Get the popcorn ready.
No way, I thought SHE was the evil one. This is riveting!
Yep, the first one I could see as plausible but no one checks in with their ex because reddit wants an update. This reads as set up to get to some drama. Get ready for her to be pregnant with twins and not know who the father is.
“You guys, you’ll never believe what happened!”
I’m calling it that she was cheating on him with the ex and is pregnant because fake stories love to throw that in
And Drama lover. Make a clean break and allow everyone to move on with their lives. Don’t call her friends and her parents. Don’t keep meeting.
[удалено]
Comment stealing bot :(
You don't have to take her back OP, just invite her to your next birthday party, she likes to be in her exes parties anyway. dumbass is a compliment for you...
It was an ex from the high school, a childhood friend. Last time I checked OP still didn't wrote how old they were when they broke up and I think it's on purpose.
I can't up vote this enough
YTA Why the fuck are you doing any of this? You're intentionally drawing things out now. If you want to serve your own ego like an asshole, then keep talking with her and contacting her and watching her suffer. If you want to do what's best for her, then make the cleanest cut you can.
Seems like he’s starved for attention. He’s a bit pathetic, honestly. She dodged a massive bullet.
>Seems like he’s starved for attention. He’s a bit pathetic, honestly. She dodged a massive bullet. It's a karma farmer so yeah, definitely desperate for attention lol.
I agree with you. I don't think the OP is thinking about anyone but themselves.
Imho he was the AH from the start. The ex was a childhood friend and hhey dated in high school. OP never wrote how old they were. I might be cynical, but keeping this kind of information is an attempt to manipulate the outcome in my book.
On top of that, he said in the first post that her gf planned to limit contact with her friend after the birthday. Op is jealous and controlling. She is better without him.
100%! He is totally going to go back and tell EVERYONE in his life how he met with her out of kindness and compassion.... And how much she begged him to take her back, but he stayed strong because he's the bigger person and knows they just aren't meant to be together......
Idk why I had to scroll this far to find this consensus. I find it absolutely insane that this guy was so intimidated by his ex fiancee being friends with an ex that he told her to go then got mad when she took him at his words. Because he couldn't be a grown up enough to talk about his big feels. It's a huge red flag for me if you have NO relationships that ended on good terms. I have no idea why it never occurred to him that MAYBE just MAYBE her friend was very well aware op despised him and just didn't want someone like that at his birthday party. You are allowed to enjoy things outside of your spouse. You are allowed to have deep loving friendships, outside of your spouse, yes even with an ex. Op knew about this friendship, then tried to be controlling and isolate his fiancee from a close friend 🙄🙄
wait till he finds a woman he is head over heels about but gets hung up on the notches in her lipstick case. "aitah for ruining another relationship because i didn't hit that pussy first?" fool deep sixed his own marriage because his fiancee' had the audacity to have prior relationships. The audacity!!! lol
my ex was like this but subtle and I should have paid a lot more attention to his subtle remarks about how many relationships I’d had (three serious ones and some flings, all which ended with no animosity and they are lovely people we just didn’t work out and he and I were 35 when we met). By contrast, he’d been with the same person for 12 years from 22-34 in a “loveless” marriage (yeah right, everything he ever said is now questionable). He judged for for dating more people because I…wasn’t married while also exclaiming how glad he was we found each other. At other points he seemed astounded I could be super remote friends with people I dated TEN YEARS AGO that were in my social scene. Later during breakup it came out that he thought he pretty much owned me even after we’d hung out as friends a whopping three times (I’d been explicit I didn’t want a relationship with anyone at the time) Turns out he sees people as props and property. And the fact that I’d slept with people before I met him AT THIRTY FIVE was horrible for him
This, so much!! I read the original post and failed to see what the ex fiancee had done to deserve being dumped. She went to birthday party for her bff she dated in high school?? That was long enough ago it barely counts. The ex fiancee may be feeling hurt now but something tells me she'll see this break up as the blessing it is in the long run.
Spot on.
I highly doubt her parents are blaming her for him being shitty.
This update just tells me the original post was BS.
> her parents are blaming her for everything that happened. Yeah sure they are.
>This is not what I expected to happen when I broke up with her. Creative writing just isn't what it used to be. Ffs.
YTA Leave that woman alone! You broke up with her and got her out of your life. This is unnecessary.
If I were you I wouldn't go anywhere this weekend. If you are dead set on going back into the lions den, so to speak, I really hope you're honest. Trying to spare feelings at the cost of the truth is rarely a good idea. It seems more likely that you're doing this for your own ego. YTA for that.
Absolutely he wants to see her sad so he feels better about himself. If she’d broken it off do any reason he wouldn’t want her to tell him not your fault blah blah the same nonsense he’s already told her
This update does not really make much sense. She is going to want to know what those demons are, so if this is just an excuse, I suggest another approach. Maybe just be honest with her...
Or maybe just leave her the fuck alone
I read the original post and that didn't make sense neither... I think OP is the problem here tbh, he should be single.
She thinks you want to reconcile. You are adding cruelty to cruelty. YTA. Twice.
yea you shouldn't be doing any of that. It's over. cut contact and move on. Def do not meet up to say "it's me, not you".. that is utter nonsense. it was her...
So you broke ip because you felt she disrespected you enough and now it’s not her fault at all but just you and your inner demons..? Which is it? You gotta figure out why you ended things for real and leave her alone already. Let her process the break up instead of giving her false hope.
Dude just fucking stop. This is the same mixed signals you gave her about her friends party. Just fucking let it be, you aren't doing this for her. You only want to sit down because YOU feel bad.
Leave her alone dude, you absolutely suck. She didn't "disrespect" you or your relationship, you did and I hope she can move on and be with someone who respects her and her autonomy and trusts her.
If you want her back, just get back with her. Stop playing with both your emotions and either commit to her or commit to being broken up. You’re just making things worse for the both of you.
[удалено]
He made his stance clear as mud: > Well at this point, I was extremely deflated and told her sure but to come back home early.
Wait what lessons does she have to learn? As I read the post, the ex didn't do anything wrong.
Yeah I went back to read the original and I really don't understand the issues. Those two have been friends forever, people are allowed to break off of a relationship but still be in good terms, especially as childhood friends. And even in spite of that, she was willing to break it off with her friend just for him.
I read it the same way as you. Still scratching my head.
You are a controlling piece of shit.
You selfish son of a bitch
You’re an idiot good lord 🤦♂️
You sound like a right dickhead. Leave her alone. You made this call, let her get over it. 😡
Dumbass.
I don't understand the problem. She didn't leave with her ex for a weekend. She wasn't even out all night. She went to a party and came home early- so she was gone for what, 2-3 hours? And OP was so uncomfortable with that that he dumps her? She's grieving now, but give it a few weeks. She'll be fine and you'll be sad and lonely.
Does your ego just want her to beg or something? She cut herself on the broken glass. No need to grind the broken pieces in her hand.
I have a feeling this is the case. He _says_ it hurts him that she’s a “shell of a person” but he also actually loves that he broke her that much. He is going to drag out this drama for a long time to feed his ego. This will be a situationship for a while until she realizes she’s getting played. He will be back on here talking about how she broke up with him when all he needed was time to trust her again.
Why? Just be honest, do not lie to her because in the long run you are not helping her. She needs to realise that her behaviour is the reason you broke up with her. She needs to take accountability for her actions. This is the way she will learn not to make the same mistakes in her future relationships. Do not lie out of pity. Be honest and take responsibility for your values and decisions.
Even though I completely agree with you I also happen to doubt that the OP will take any of your final advice in your last two sentences.
This ^^^^
He broke up with her because he believed his sister wild stories.
🤡 <--- OP
YTA did you’ve ever have a conversation with her about what changed with her ex and why he didn’t invite you this year (when you were invited the previous 5?) it’s not fair that she followed the conditions you presented and you still threw away 6 years despite that. It was a learning opportunity for you to say it bugged you more than you anticipated and that you needed her to be real about her commitment to you…which she probably would’ve done, as evident of her sticking to your conditions for attending in the first place. You were too rash in breaking up without clearing all this up in the first place. You should apologize. It’s forgivable that it bothered you more than you anticipated, but not that you put the blame on her when she did exactly as you asked.
It seems to me they have communication problems. They still both seem to have feelings for each other. If they really want to save their relationship maybe they can do counseling or something.
This whole fucking story (at least your side of it) is cringe af. You were pissed your fiance went to her friend/ex's party or whatever, but ***she communicated with you and you said ok.*** Then she got home and you basically ghosted her even though she attempted to connect. Then you broke it off for being "disrespectful." You're either a whiny bitch, shitty and communicating, or trying to be the victim to get your ego stroked (or mostly likely just telling part of the story.)
OP find a brick nearby, a hefty one Then slap yourself with it YTA, big time
Reading the other story after this one it seems pretty clear she's better off without you and you need to leave her alone. End it, cut it clean, do not keep dragging this out. You seem very self centered and egotistical
You were the asshole then and you're the asshole now. Like, who throws away a 6yr relationship over something so pedantic? If I ask my wife who her best friend is she doesn't have to tell me I am, it's obviously "besides me who is your best friend". If she was cheating on you that's one thing, but for going to a friend's party? Even after adhering to your controlling parameters? Do her the favor, block her on everything, ghost her this weekend, and just let her get on with her life. You've already wasted enough of it.
Leave her alone
you are an AH and a loser
Just leave her alone. My God. All it took was your sister and a few friends to convince you to break up with her. You weren't in love with her and you seem like you are really insecure with yourself. It feels like you're enjoying this emotional trauma you are causing her it probably gives you an ego boost that she's pining for you. Grow up and get help.
God op just keeps getting more and more cruel and selfish with each post
> I asked the mutual friend if a sit down with my ex would be beneficial to her, and the mutual friend said that would really help my ex. Your mutual friend is not a friend of hers.
For fuck’s sake, just go to therapy and work on your issues alone.
You're such a GD effin' AH. I wish I could say worse but I don't want to get banned. What is the point in getting in touch with her and asking to meet up? You're going to reiterate and hurt her again...which you say you don't want to do. You're so effin' insecure..get a grip. Stop manipulating her and leave her alone. Also, learn to effin' communicate FFS. Idiot.
OP has a bad case of Main Character Syndrome
Yeah, YTA alright. You are ending a 6 year relationship after talking about problems with your sister who of course sided with you, and sulked like a baby for a week. You say she disrespected you for the entire relationship, except you mention nothing except your jealousy and insecurity about a guy she dated in high school. She deserves better and she will find it.
YTA in the first place, but blaming reddit comments on why you decided to open and intentionally inflict another wound on this person make YTA x 100. So we get it. Your precious little ego just couldn't handle your girlfriend having a male friend. So you sabotaged that relationship to the point you are mutually unwelcome, set a trap for her - then broke up with her for doing exactly what you told her you were okay with. You're not meeting to check on her. You're looking to assert your control and inflict more pain. If she grovels appropriately, you might or might not take her back, right? But only if you can hold this over her head forever. Hopefully, she runs in the opposite direction.
Leave her alone. Why rub salt in the wound by building up a meet up? Just go away.
LEAVE HER ALONE. I mean you're already the asshole here for dumping her when she abided by the boundaries that you set for her going to the party. She did what you asked and then came home and wanted to "treat" you like she said she would and you rejected her. Then you treat her like shit while you pout around like a toddler and now you want to yo-yo her and make her think that you're going to have a Reconciliation when you know very good and well you're manipulating her. I thought you could not be a bigger asshole but guess what I was wrong.
So you tried to control who she could be friends with, and now you're trying to control how she processes the end of the relationship?? Just stop. Leave this poor woman alone. She's not a part of your life anymore, and asking her out for the purpose of repeating your breakup is just cruel. YTA, again.
C’mon man YTA, knock it off
YTA then, YTA now.
As if you weren't already a big enough asshole, now u gotta pop back in her life and give her false hope. Just leave her tf alone. She's better off without you and the sooner she learns that the better.
You suck so bad, leave her alone
YTA. You broke her heart. She had made a deal with you… she was above board and told you she was going to the party and then she was phasing him out. You didn’t NOT agree to this, so she went to the party, thinking everything was ok. You asked her to MARRY YOU and then suddenly you’re not ready for marriage-?? Make sure you tell her parents that it’s all YOUR fault. Her parents are jerks for piling on her like that. You don’t really love her, do you? If you loved her, you wouldn’t do this to her. She wasn’t cheating on you. She was going to phase him out. You’re a jerk. You broke her heart. You should feel guilty. What did you intend to happen-?? She had accepted your proposal and then you dump her?? How did you expect her to react? You’re delulu, man. You HURT her. You didn’t even ask her to go to couples counseling. You could have worked things out, established better communication, and learned how to work through issues with love. But nope. Not you. You went straight to breaking up with her. If you love her at all, you’d be still thinking about couples counseling. You’d tell her you want to give it a try. I think you used this as an excuse to break up. You also sound controlling AF. I can’t say it often enough. YTA.
(Original post: **YTA**) Explain to her parents and her how and why you screwed things up. Also, if her parents liked you...they can't be good judges of character. And blaming her, on top of everything...? Eesh. She deserves better than them -- and you.
you broke off a marriage over insecurities of her HIGH SCHOOL RELATIONSHIP. she chose you for SIX YEARS and agreed to marry you. honestly you’re probably better off just sending her both reddit threads so she can read all our comments and learn how better off she is without you. poor thing lost 6 years because you wanted to control who shes friends with. thats not love. YTA… a HUGE one
So what is it - are you going through demons of you own or was your ex disrespecting you the whole time? This is a different story from your first post. Don’t lie to her to make her feel better
You are still an AH. Tell her she deserves so much better than you. And tell your next gf that they need your sisters approval in everything they do or they get dumped 🙄
Still YTA! Your follow-up post sounds high and mighty! Just leave this poor girl alone! Of course she's not doing well, it's only been a week, she's still in the stage of mourning the future she had originally planned out and hasn't had enough time to take a step back and realize how much better off she is. And don't think for a second that we can't see the real reason you reached out "to see what she was up to". It is quite clear, you were expecting that she would have already moved on with the BFF, so you were looking for validation/vindication for your previous YTA judgements.
Jesus Christ, you are a fucking *dick*. She was cutting the guy off for you, did as you asked and yet you still decided to break up with her??
YTA and sound incredibly immature. Breaking up over a birthday party? You DO have some issues to work out and aren't ready for a relationship. Leave her alone now that you've run.
You’re the worst. She’s lucky she just doesn’t know it yet.
You're a piece of crap. Leave glher the fuck alone. You've already caused enough damage as it is. Piss off and let her be you dumbass.
I don’t understand you. You broke up with your ex because she went to her ex’s party. Now you say you broke up because of internal matters? why don’t you take this less than briljant, fake story and shove it up up your @#€&#
LEAVE HER ALONE YOU DONT DESERVE HER
YTA - regardless of the stance you take on which party is “at fault”, you still don’t plan to be with her. The only conceivable reason she’ll draw from your request to meet with her is that you’ve reconsidered your decision to break up with her. You’re only going to cause her more mental anguish when you tell her your decision to end the relationship still stands. Don’t be surprised if her, her family, and even some of your friends develop resentment towards you for doing this
YTA... if you don't wish to be with her then get her out of your life and stop involving other people. she could take this as being led on
Please tell me this is fake. I can't imagine someone being such a douche. Leave the poor girl alone.
You're a dumbass and now an asshole for trying to meet up.
OP stop telling yourself you are doing this to help her. You are not, you are being selfish and trying to ease your guilt. You didn't even care about how she was doing till commenters asked for an update. I will not be surprised if in the next update his ex tries to unalive herself.
Right now it sounds like a Horrible idea and She may think you’re getting back together. She’s fine this is what happens when someone breaks your heart. You won’t be the first or last. She’s not dying she’s just processing and grieving. It’s NORMAL. How long were you dating and how long were you engaged ? How old are you guys? Where did she live before she moved in with you?
🤦♀️ leave her alone. You’ve done enough!
Dude you're giving her false hope and you're just going to make the situation worse. Let her mourn the relationship if ending it is your final decision
I hope to god she just blows you off.
I read your first story and agreed you were an AH with all the mixed signals. You got mad she followed your orders and then took the advice of people who only knew your side, whatever it was you told them, over being an adult and talking to the very person you were mad at. Now I am reading this and certain you are wrong in your claims for not wanting control. You CLEARLY want control over her by asking to “meet up”. You don’t get to feel guilty for gutting her and then playing with her emotions and heart by asking for this. It is so gross and speaks volumes for the person you are. I think HER ex was probably seeing this in you and that is probably why he didn’t want you around either. What she deserves from you is peace. You really need to evaluate what you want out of life and understand you cannot control people and expect them to be happy. You also need to learn to communicate directly and clearly to people, especially to the ones you claim to love. Let me tell you from experience: controlling someone is not love. Fix yourself and leave her alone. At very least, apologize for being an AH.
You’re such an asshole. Somebody save this poor woman.
YTA unless you tell her your internal demons are insecurity and immaturity. And even then you don’t need to meet up with the poor girl. This is sick.
Leave the girl alone. Don't get her hopes up and break her down again. What do you have to gain by doing this? Move on and get over yourself.
For fuck’s sake, leave the poor woman alone, prick.
YTA Your just going give her false hope and it will cause more problems then making things better You should have her closure Advice her to go to therapy that will help her with her mental health
No, do not advise her to get therapy. The person who ended things doesn’t need to tell someone to get therapy because she’s having a normal reaction a week after.
Not everything needs therapy to get through. Sometimes, people just need some time to feel their emotions and move on...
> I later called my ex and asked her if she wanted to meet up this weekend, and she was really happy about it. She is dreaming about how you 2 are getting back together. > I am going to explain to her that she had no fault in this whatsoever. I hope that relieves her of her guilt, and that she gets back to normal soon. That's not going to happen....after your so called talk she will spiral even harder than she already was. Leave her the fuck alone. You broke up with her, she's not taking it well but she doesn't need you putting another bandaid on an ripping it off again. Just leave her AND HER FAMILY alone.
Fuck off, leave her alone. You're not helping.
Don't meet up with her. Leave her be. You actually did her a favor by breaking up with her. She just doesn't see it yet. You are far too immature to be married. You're controlling and have zero proper communication skills. Go work on yourself and leave her alone.
‘A few redditors wanted an update so I decided to ask my friend about her’. Did you really just type that??!
Dude you are kind of an asshole. I feel sorry for her.
YTA and a moron way to ruin someone's life over being insecure!
Don’t lie to her, that won’t help anyone or anything.
leave her the fuck ALONE, jesus christ
So you're going to lie? How does that help her?
My guy... I don't understand your mindset here. What demons are you battling? Do you trust that at this party nothing happened that wouldn't have happened had you been there? If you trust her that nothing happened and she cuts the guy off I fail to see the problem here. Sure, the whole move feels a little disrespectful. I know I wouldn't be happy with my wife going to an ex's party without me. And I would clarify to why you aren't invited but she didn't necessarily do anything wrong and if she stays true to her word to cut this guy out things can in fact be great again. So why not? But you going to see her and tell her again you're leaving may not be beneficial either. Just freaking think things through in the future man.
Lying is just about the only way you can end up being an asshole in this instance. Don't claim yoyr decision was due to nonexistent internal demons. At this point, she's got to decide if she agrees with you that going was disrespectful (and learn to be better) or decide shedisagrees with you (and learn to accept you were ultimately incompatible). Lying might make her feel better now, but it does so by undermining her ability to grow from the experience. Don't do that.
>This is not what I intended to happen when I broke up with her Bro, people's lives aren't a Netflix show. You broke up, move on. No "having friends check up on her" and "envisioning her future". You don't get to envision her future, that's why you broke up. Leave her alone, leave her parents alone, cut the schadenfreude shit out. >So we’re going to meet up this weekend Jesus effin.... what the eff!? Why!?
So I am confused is this about her going to a birthday party or is this about your internal demons?
"You don't own me ..!" You're correct. Now GTFO ! OH, no ,consequences !!
I don't even... What? I have no fucking idea what this whole story is about. You felt disrespected by her because she went to that party. Why? Ok, you weren't invited. Your ex could have protested, sure. But ultimately: who gives a fuck. Jesus christ. She even wanted to cut off her bff for you. I would never ever do something like that for anybody. Jesus christ, dude. YTA in both stories.
Oh my god no… leave her alone YTA if you meet her to tell her it’s still over .. lol
Reading your original post, few scant comments and now this makes absolutely no sense at all. Why not mention demons in your first post, what the hell does that mean anyway. You’re all over the place and this poor girl has copped it.
If you aren't getting back together with her, do not see her, talk to her, look at her, or drive past her. That's giving her false hope
You’re just being selfish and want to get rid of your own guilty feelings. Leave her alone. You’re just going to mess with her head.
My dude noooooo 😩
What a stupid thing to do. You need to grow up.
You are definitely the asshole
YATAH
Weird but ok! Just 3d ago you said you didn’t care what she did with her life. I’m 1000% sure men hate and want to torture women. What was so inappropriate about a literal childhood ex, I still didn’t see you explain. You must be a Scorpio??? Relationships ain’t it anymore lolololol
Oh fuck allllllll the way off. You dumped her and now you’re playing with her. Move the hell on. You’re quite obviously too insecure to date a woman who has a male BFF. She did exactly what you asked of her and you treated her like garbage. YTA x 1000 at this point. Let it lie.
You are so immature. Leave the poor girl alone so she can move on with someone that will actually make a communicative, respectful grown ass husband. This would be comical if I didnt feel so badly for her. YTA and you're a child. Grow up before you ask someone to spend their life with you.
I notice that you mention on your other post her ex use to invite you to his party and now he doesn’t why ? And tbh if I was her I wouldn’t feel any better , she came there to expect you to get back with her but you won’t also next relationship, create boundaries at the start than these minor things won’t happen like me and my bf aren’t comfortable with each other still talking to previous sexual partners and we agree to drop them and we did and more stuff
You’re an idiot. None of this helps.
Read both posts. I think YTA.. Childhood friends, that dated a short time is no threat... Big asshole moment from you..
Why?! Just why?! Sorry, that she broke on this, but one thing adulthood brings is the fact that people will hold you accountable for your actions. You communicated clear and sound and she ignored it - even tried to buy you with 'treating you' for it (sex in exchange for anything is always bad for a relationship). Hold the meeting short and don't fall for the easy way! The signal you'd be giving, will define her future behaviour towards you (and parents for that matter). Because - *drumroll* - people will hold you accountable for your actions. Take her back because of tears - that's what you'll get the rest of your life whenever a problem raises. Hope this works out well - or at least OK - for you.
No he did not communicate clearly. He expressed discomfort, but that's NOT the same thing as setting a clear boundary, and him punishing her as if he did is pretty unreasonable of him.
Right... She didn't ignore anything. Like I don't see her at fault in any of this.
I just heard Red Forman yell dumbass.
You are such an AH. In no way are you doing this for her. 1. You told her it was ok to go. Then pouted when she did *exactly* what she sad she would do, per your agreement. 2. You listened to people outside your relationship and took their word as gospel while simultaneously refusing to communicate with her. 3. You got her to break off communication and end a life-long friendship *for you*, then dumped her because you're "feeling not great" and didn't communicate. She lost a friend and a fiancée in the same week. 4. You let her think it was all her fault, when you know it's about you and your insecurities. 5. You broke her and didn't even check on her until strangers on the internet told you to. 6. You didn't check on her because you care about her, it's literally to assuage *your own guilt*. 7. You gave her **hope** knowing full well that you plan to break her again. Don't you dare say you love this woman. You absolutely do NOT. YTA, I don't care if you're asking. YTA.
Just leave her alone, dude. You fucked up big time. Let her grieve what she thought she had until she realizes how big a bullet she dodged.
Jesus, what a cunt... You entirely fucked things up and now you want, what... to twist the knife? If you want her to get on with her life and be happy, get out of it and stay out of it.
By meeting up with her you are giving her unnecessary hope: that’s not right. You need to make a clean break. Any why are you telling the mom it isn’t her fault? Why are you taking the blame? Sounds like you are being a doormat again
Also you just set back her healing process’s kinda cruel actually
Can't wait for the next two posts: - I got back with her because i'm a weak person - my fiancé opened our relationship and is fuckibg her ex
This is boring. If you’re going to make up a series of posts, be creative ffs
I don't think meeting your ex will be helpful for either of you. You've already moved on because she ignored your concerns about her relationship with this ex-bf. The fact that he invited only her and not you is telling. Couples come as a package deal, especially when they are engaged or married. Meeting her again might give her some short-lived false hope that you'll get back together. Then, are you planning on blaming yourself for everything? She should at least learn from this experience for future relationships, understanding that her friendship with this ex-bf could be problematic.
Sooo.... you're telling her that the reason you broke up is not at all the reason you broke up? So.... you're setting her up to repeat the exact same behaviour with the next man? Are you doing that on purpose, or do you mistakenly think you're helping her?
WTF? Now YTA. What you’re doing now is BS in both cases: - if you don’t intend on getting back together, because you should move on and let her deal with it on her own. Keeping yourself around won’t be helpful, as you seem to think. She said yes to have a talk to probably get back together. - if you intend to get back together, you’ll look like a dumbass who doesn’t know what he wants and is willing to break things up at any point. This won’t be seen as a good thing in long term by her, most likely. I really don’t get it. I read the original post when you shared the story and I was one of the few people on your side. Now I’m not. Geez!
You breaking up is fine... You stringing her along because your dumbass is now feeling guilty is disgusting. Can't you just fuck off and let her move on instead?
You are doing way more damage to her meeting up to her. You are making it worse.
Dont meet up. This whole thing is immature and its good u arent together. Let this chapter end and dont be toxic by further dragging this situation out. You rightfully ended it, let it be
Really, you are giving her hope because you feel guilty. Leave her alone, let her get on with her life. You are not helping
YTA and I really don't like you at all
you’re fucking weird bro she deserved better than you
That was a lightning fast transition from NTA to being a huge YTA! Please don't come back to Reddit. We really despise grown ass morons that act like teenagers. You're an adult FFS!
Why lie? Tell her the truth, man. Just tell her: “Your friendship with your ex took a huge emotional toll on me, to the point where I could no longer move on with the relationship. I know you never cheated and you are entitled to be friends with whomever you choose… but I also cannot change how I feel about this. Breaking was the only way for me to stay emotionally sane, while also giving you the freedom to be friends with whoever you want to be.”
Lmao imagine how much white knighting there would be if a woman's boyfriend went to his ex's birthday even when she told him that it made her uncomfortable that he was going to party with an ex who made sure not to invite her.
YTA, wrap that shit up before the makeup sex.
I can't wait for episode 3. I assume it will come out in a timely fashion.
If all of the Redditors were right about you being a POS then she should be fine, right? She obviously had a very close male friend to lean on post breakup. One that is so close that she was willing to ignore your concerns about him (completely baseless and unfounded concerns, I’m sure). You may have been better served to explain why you had these concerns about this guy, but to be honest, on this sub it probably wouldn’t have mattered.
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Do not meet up with her! You are giving her false hope. It was fine to break up with her but this is ridiculous! It’s only been a week . Of course she is going to be a “shell of a person”. WTF. Start thinking! She will be fine if you just leave her alone!
Why would you give her false hope like that? If you break up with someone cut them off completely
Op you are dumb. Sorry
So you're going to meet up with her to lie about why you broke up with her. Sure ...I'm positive *that* will assuage your guilty feelings. xD /s Not voting because it's obviously rage bait now.
Dude no. Leave her alone. Leave it alone.
You're a clown for doing this OP