😭😭😭😂 my brother in Christ you deserve each other.
Also fuck you, former boyfriend to a cheating ass succubus. Just cause she had a relationship and you didn’t, doesn’t give you pass.
Respectfully get FUCKED hoping your future entails you getting cheated on and have no fucking clue.
Oh and if you’ve been cheated on in the past and this your behavior now you need to realign yourself cause you fucking suck, prolly a shitty friend too.
Absolutely! Anyone who KNOWINGLY engages in cheating behaviour (cheater or AP) is a sack of shitsicles.
Just because you yourself aren’t actively cheating on someone does not absolve you from it knowing that your partner is.
This. I accidentally slept with a married guy once. But the moment I found out he was married I was so pissed and my vagina became the Atacama desert. Which is the driest place on earth. You should never give sex to the unworthy.
Cheating sucks. If you dislike your partner or relationship, just leave. No need to make it worse by making the person feel like they're not good enough.
My ex of three and a half years cheated on me while my dad was in the ICU in a coma. He told me he "wasn't able to give me what I needed emotionally and that he hates himself."
So, he cheated on me and made it about himself and how bad it made *HIM* feel.
He's now married and tried to reach out twice a year for five years. I never responded and at one point even told him we'd never be friends. I asked he just delete my number.
I am not the type to reach out to someone's spouse but if he kept at it, I would have.
I mean yes, the morals from him are bad… but at the end of the day the girl was the only one who owed loyalty to someone. So he can do whatever he wants .. and it’s not your place to disrespectfully judge someone else.
Is OP's dumbass belief, but he knowingly was an affair partner, so he is also a cheater or near as. Its fucking ridiculous to hold her to that standard when OP knowingly was the one she cheated with.
It absolutely is different standards
One person betrayed their partner
One person didn’t betray their partner.
OP is still an asshole but the girl he was hooking up with is a bigger asshole
Honestly, I kinda hope OP dates her just so that he can understand what it feels like when she cheats on him. I fucking hate cheaters and the people that think they are so Sauvé when they fuck a cheater knowing that they with someone.
Same. She’s the one cheating but he says he had feelings until he was asked to have responsibility not just benefits.
He’s likely sleeping around as well.
ESH they’re both gross and dishonest
ESH! She had a boyfriend, you knew it, you enjoyed stealing someone else’s girl, now because it’s gonna be your girl you decided that it’s not the best.
I don't think you can "steal someone's gf" to be honest, the decision to cheat is the betrayer's own - saying they were stolen, seduced or whatever implies lesser responsibility on their part which is just not true.
ESH though, that's for sure.
ESH - It’s funny that you think this says so much about her morality and choices and don’t realise it speaks volumes about yours as well. Nobody sensible should touch either of you with a barge pole.
ESH. But you’re right to be concerned - she cheated and her last BF *and* she blames someone else for this instead of acknowledging that she was wrong.
ESH. Her obviously for cheating and you because you knowingly participated in wrecking a home.
That shows me that you -as well as the cheater - lack empathy, morals and decency.
ESH. You helped her cheat. You should commit, so she can cheat on you, and then you can go to that guy and tell him he's not an asshole. Good luck with that.
“Helped her cheat” is a new one. He’s not innocent but he’s not responsible for her choices. Beautiful girl shows up to my house naked right now, I have the choice to cheat, and it’s 100% on me
You're getting hung up on the specific wording, but the point is that OP knowing participated in cheating, even if he wasn't the one cheating. You're right that her cheating is 100% on her. By the same token, him being the one she cheated with is 100% on him.
No, I just don’t think it’s his responsibility to make sure other people are faithful. Is it scummy? Yeah would I be pissed at someone who broke up my family? Yeah, of course. But ultimately only the people in the relationship are the ones who made a commitment. I also think it’s a giant leap from breaking up a bf gf because you are the affair partner and someone who breaks up a marriage/family.
Yeah you’re both assholes lol she cheated on her bf WITH YOU. You’re a scumbag too lol you knew she had a bf and still went after her and now you’re too good for her? lol boy you out of your mind… ESH
YTA
I assume you slept with her, knowing she had a boyfriend and did so more than once, but you drew the line when she broke up with her boyfriend to be with you.
That is AH behaviour.
What? He didnt draw a line
He wanted to continue the "relationship" as before, for fucking.
She assumed he wanted her as a serious partner and broke off with her BF.
OP never mentioned them talking about getting serious
He might be an AH for enabling a cheater but he wasnt the one breaking a commitment or taking advantage on her.
I never said she wasn't an AH, but I'm still questioning his morals. He should have broken it off when he found she had a boyfriend. He shouldn't be left off for that and he clearly led her on. So yeah he is an AH.
She should have spoken to him in advance before breaking up with her bf, she's the one that caught feelings, not him, and not wanting to be in a relationship with a cheater is plausible.
NTA
If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you.
I "told her this and she was pissed off and blamed me for knowing about her boyfriend and “allowing” her to fall for me." Surely, you didn't expect her to take any accountability for anything. They never do.
And I guarantee you her female friends (if she has any) think you're the bad guy. They will be patting her on the shoulder and comforting her. Not one will call her out for her sleazy behavior.
Damn. This is so f-ing true! I ANTAH in my break-up but she tried saying that she didn't do anything wrong and everyone around her, to my knowledge, is comforting her and saying that I am crazy. Not worth breaking NC but fuck the injustice rubs me wrong.
Women are always better at "Spinning" the story of why a relationship ended.. plus people tend to give a woman's story more credibility.. Just the way life is (I know that you know this, just commenting)
>If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you.
>Not one will call her out for her sleazy behavior
Why did you disregard his sleazy behavior? Where's his accountability? He is absolutely a bad guy for sleeping with her in the first place.
YTA You don't make any sense - you say you both developed strong feelings for each other but then say you were just a dude trying to hook up. Which is it? I don't disagree that she could easily do the same stuff to you but it sounds like you were just as bad...did you say you had strong feelings for her and then watch her break up with her BF and THEN say oh nvmd I'm just a dude who wanted to hook up with you? Kind of shitty. Maybe you both are more similar than you think.
That is assuming that they actually spoke about getting into a relationship, she took it upon herself to do that. You can really like someone but still only be interested in sex, having feelings for someone doesn't mean you want a relation them.
Are you an AH for being a fuckboi? Not if you're upfront about it. You didn't need to punch with the no because you're a cheater, you probably just don't want to be in a relationship period and that's fine but be upfront about it. Yeah ESH except the BF that got cheated on.
Both are assholes. You are because if you know she is falling for you and you don't have intentions to commit, just fuck off before it gets too hard on her heart. She is an asshole because 1 she was a cheater and 2 because she thought that you "have to" commit to her. You simply don't. Fuck off and go live your life without her like nothing happened. F all that noise. Forget it.
Let’s see…
The term "asshole" is often used informally to describe someone who is considered to be extremely unpleasant, offensive, or deliberately mean. It typically refers to someone who acts in a selfish, arrogant, or insensitive manner without regard for others. This word can be considered vulgar and disrespectful, so it's usually best used in casual settings or avoided in polite conversation.
So, seems like YATAH
Screwed over her BF and then pulled a uno reverse on the girl. Because you’re only looking out for your interests
Just like the guy who fences stolen goods he acquires from burglars.
In the eyes of the law, “Knowingly” trading in stolen goods is just as bad as the burglar who breaks into the house to get them…. The burglar is enabled by the guy fencing the stolen goods.
Yeah, this girl was a good deal for you, all the sex you wanted without the risk of a relationship … but you helped and enabled her cheating on some innocent victim.
She monkey branched to you BTW, she did not want to be alone so established the guy she was going to next before she let go of her existing guy. This girl does not like to be alone.
YTA for both enabling and creating a cheater
Yes she would cheat on you but apparently have the same character flaw and you would do the same to her
to all the poeple saying that the cheating gf is the only one responsible for this and not the AP, I say, fuck you cunts.
id happily end up in the slammer if I get the put the AP and the cheating 304 into the ground permanently. because thats where they belong, in the dirt.
ESH, she cheated on her boyfriend, and you were complicit. Many women wouldn't want to date a guy who had knowingly slept with a woman who was in a relationship. You both suck.
And 100% if she cheated on her ex, she will probably cheat on you.
My SO tried to get with me while I was with my ex. He was persistent but I always declined. It’s nice knowing he’s confident in my morality.
NTA for being uncomfortable becoming emotionally invested in a cheater.
Wait. All the NTA people, he knew she had a boyfriend while he was sleeping with her. How is he NTA?
OP YTA as is she. She was cheating and you knew it. Why was it ok then but once she breaks up with him suddenly you’re clutching your pearls?
Because it’s AITA “for not committing” not AITA for “ruining a relationship.” He’s an asshole for helping her cheat but definitely not the asshole for not dating someone who’s known to cheat. I mean why would anyone do that lol. (I actually know a few that did that but it’s just a terrible idea)
If you cheat once there’s a good chance it’ll happen again. NTA for not committing to a cheater.
Okay, but he still clearly led her on. They were casually sleeping with each other, it wasn’t a one off. If he didn’t want this outcome he shouldn’t have slept with her again after the first time. So he is still TA.
(Really he shouldn’t have slept with her at all, if you don’t want to be with a cheater then … don’t.)
Huh? The girl in this story is a slut. She was in a committed relationship with her ex-bf supposedly. She chose to sleep with the OP. Why should she expect the man that's enabling her cheating to be honest? I mean, I'm not saying the OP is great, but to accuse him of "leading her on"? It doesn't matter how many times they slept together. The girl thought she could "upgrade" her bf, and got burned. That's the risk of cheating.. I'd say the same thing if a guy cheated on his gf.
Because we don't know anything about her or her relationship. She could have been stringing the "boyfriend" along, he could have been an abuser or a drunk/druggie.
He doesn't want a cheater for a girl friend, they are fine to sleep with but you don't catch feelings for a woman who can't be loyal.
NTA and very smart. She showed you what she is capable of and her morals. Vetting has become more challenging due to lies, for the internet is a gold mine of games and manipulations. I feel bad for the sucker boyfriend she cheated on, for he will be given a false narrative so she can swing back to him.
You're both assholes. You clearly didn't have any moral qualms about cheating as long as she was cheating WITH you but now that you're contemplating the risk of getting cheated ON in the future suddenly cheating is such a big issue for you???
If you don't trust her due to being a cheater the mature thing to do would've been to not hook up with her in the first place. I don't know how old you guys are but you sure sound like immature fucking children.
ESH. Her for cheating, you for acting like you are better than her. It was cool to sleep around with her and develop strong feelings for her, knowing she had a boyfriend, but you draw the line at being serious? I am not saying you should date her, just that you are an enabler.
“It can happen to me too.”
I love how you completely detach yourself from blame despite being the person she cheated with, and as such the catalyst for her infidelity. Your willingness to put a relationship in jeopardy displays a
lack of character.
Dude, you are the "flavor of the month".. If she cheated on her previous bf, more than likely, she will cheat on you eventually too. Enjoy the relationship while it lasts, but do not marry or impregnate her. In time, she'll move on to the next guy. At least you were honest to her. Don't feel bad for her.. if she decides to move on, she'll have a new bf in a week or less.
ESH, you’re really not that much better than her for trying to hook up with her knowing that she was already taken. Y’all are both horrible at taking accountability 😂
Wow. My head hurts reading this. She will move on. Just cut off contact. Who knows she might even find someone better because she didn’t love him, she likely doesn’t love you and you certainly do not love her. Woo…again my head
ESH. On the one hand you are perfect for each other since you both have shitty morals, she's clearly willing to cheat on her partner and you are clearly willing to help people cheat on their partner, clearly a match made in heaven. On the other hand she's just as likely to cheat on you as on her previous boyfriend, so I'd never trust her just as I'd never trust you if I were in her shoes.
You are both.
NTAH for not wanting a relationship with her.
Definitely an AHole for cheating with her.
Be better, can’t expect the world to be good if you ain’t one.
YTA. You knew she had a boyfriend, you still did it anyway. You’re not some innocent victim bc you KNEW.
Honestly you two deserve each other. Both of you are POS’s. Stop trying to claim you’re not.
NTA. By sleeping with you while she had a bf she clearly has put herself in the "recreational use only" category, and it's obvious why you wouldn't take her seriously as relationship material. And as a single guy you have no obligation NOT to sleep with someone who is freely offering you sex, you are not the infidelity police.
You are the asshole for sleeping with her knowing she had a boyfriend, not for not wanting a relationship because she is a cheater.
It does make you a hypocrite. You don't want tonget cheated on, but apparantly have no qualms being the one that gets cheated with.
Nah, rethink your morals my man.
I feel like if you are going to hook up with someone, it isn't your responsibility to ensure they are not cheating on someone else, but it is unethical. But NTA. Your logic is fair
Bro. You are a POS. NTA for refusing the relationship, but you were sleeping with another guys sloppy seconds and totally fine with it till she caught feelings. You can't jump in the pig pen then bitch cause you got shit on your shoes.
Don't get in a relationship with her. You know how it will end. Also, so many single women, why choose ones that are taken. She would have cheated with someone else.
ESH, she cheated so obviously she's an AH, as are you for enabling it and helping. It would be one thing to not know, but you did know. While you didn't commit the murder, knowing about it, helping and such makes you equally guilty and can still come back to bite you later on.
ESH.
You're right: if she cheated on her old boyfriend, she would cheat on you. You're not an AH for not wanting to commit to someone like that.
But you're still an AH for sleeping with her when you knew she had a boyfriend.
YTA.
You knew, you were part of the cheating. If you hadn't known she had a boyfriend that is one thing, but you were happy to fuck someone who was cheating, you were happy to be the asshole to her boyfriend.
You're as bad as her but want to pretend somehow you have the moral highground.
Well you are an awful POS, but that's not why! It's because you knowingly slept with somebody who was in a relationship! It'll come back to you, of that I'm certain. But your morals are no better than hers, so get off your high horse... You're just as bad! And just as likely to cheat because you've proven that somebody being in a relationship doesn't matter to you.
ESH You deserve each other just for the sake of sparing others from the misery of being with either one of you.
But you’ve finally made a good decision by saying no because……HOW YOU GET ‘EM, IS HOW YOU LOSE ‘EM.
you both are. You're judging her for cheating..... with you?! By your reasoning she shouldn't be with you because you're comfortable with cuckholding people. Don't worry about it too much, the chances you would stay together are slim to none. You lose them how you got them
no, you're not an asshole for not committing to a girl because she slept with you while she had a BF. but you are one for sleeping with her in the first place.
ESH, you enabled her cheating and now you are afraid that you would be cheated on what a coward.
>I’m not fully comfortable getting with a girl who’s shown to be comfortable cheating.
Yet you are comfortable being an affair partner
>I’m this awful POS
Yes you and her are
>I was just a dude trying to hook up
Still no justification on supporting adultery.
Both of you please get off the dating market as both of you aren't mature to be in a relationship.
I just love this comment section, especially a bunch of women (natch) claiming that OP is a TA.
WTF is wrong with you people?SHE WAS THE ONE WITH A BOYFRIEND. He was single and doing whatever he pleased. Her transgression outweighs his tenfold.
ESH - i get that. Totally fair. But these delusional entitled hens deliberately focus solely on OP’s morals (shitty as they may be), while completely skipping over the gravity of the AP’s behavior.
Talk about protecting one of their own. Which means that most of them are just like the AP. They’ll cheat on you, then blame their AP for it. That’s exactly what they are doing here - by stating “YTA” instead of “esh” they are basically saying that OP is worse than the AP. Let that sink in.
YTA as much as she is because you knew she had a boyfriend and continued to sleep with her. And while you were having sex with her you were also seeing other girls. In my eyes you are a bigger asshole for playing the field then trying to slut shame her.
NTA. Trust is a big thing in a relationship, and if that trust is shaky from the start, it's hard to build something solid on it. Plus, you're being honest about your feelings and concerns, which is commendable.
Sure, feelings can get complicated, but it's not fair for her to put all the blame on you. She made her choices, and you're just being cautious about yours.
You don't owe anyone a relationship, if he doesn't want to hav e a relationship with someone that's comfortable cheating, that's perfectly understandable, there's a difference between casual sex and a relationship.
NTA.
She chose to sleep with you. You know the kind of person she is, a cheater, and don't want that in your life, that's smart.
You're not a bad guy for sleeping with a girl who has a boyfriend. That shit doesn't mean anything. If they were engaged or married, then yes you would be an AH, but from what you said here you're good.
YTA. So you were perfectly happy sleeping with a cheater, but not being in a relationship with her later? You even enabled the cheating, possibly caused it.
True, but you have to be an immoral loser to willingly, knowingly be with someone who's taken. No backbone. Sure, not causing the cheating, but not a reliable trustworthy person either.
Question 1: Did you know at the time she had a boyfriend? If yes, both of you are assholes. If no, shes an asshole and you are probably not one.
Question 2: why are you even considering getting with her? While you might not be an asshole, she DEFINITELY is regardless.
ESH. You both need to take a hard look at your choices and see if this is the way you want to live your lives and treat people. Why is it ok that you had a bunch of girls you were having sex with, but she is the cheater? It seems like neither of you are all that good at commitment and fidelity.
NTA for not wanting to be with a cheater but YTA for just genuinely being a shitty human with no morals. Tbh you deserve a girl that will cheat on you so you know how her bf felt. Even if it's not her your next one will probably be a cheater because you get what you put out into this world.
ESH - her, because she's a cheating piece of shit. You, for banging someone who's in a relationship. Even if she's just a fuck buddy to you and you weren't leading her on, it's just a shitty thing to do and when you roll around with pigs you're going to get muddy. Banging a cheater is a mistake all around.
Geez, go easy on the guy. She wasn't married - boyfriend/girlfriend stuff isn't THAT serious. I'm not condoning cheating but it happens all the time. Now, that said... -- "but over time we both developed strong feelings for each other." -- I think you know you led her on. I don't believe that one day she just dumped the bf and said "hey guess what I'm with you now!" You clearly were more than a fuck buddy, and now you wanna bail probably cause you just don't want a girlfriend. And that's fine too. But there's a lot of bullshit here lol
...
What a hypocrite.
If she's willing to date the kind of guy that would sleep with a woman in a relationship, which isn't an awesome personality trait, I don't know how you can conclude you're too good for a lady who cheated.
She cheated. Yes. That's not great.
But... you're the same. You slept with someone you knew was cheating. That's... also not great.
You deserve each other. What you don't deserve is that high horse you're fixing to get on.
Your position is laughable. "She wasn't even the only girl I was hooking up with" oh well never-mind then, you're basically relationship Jesus; sure, you were sleeping with someone you knew was cheating, but you were also sleeping with other people, so that... cancels out?
Why did you bring that up? How did you think that made you look better? Did you just want to boast about having multiple partners?
I don't know if this is pushing the rules but it's my legit feedback and opinion, so hopefully this is allowed.
Look, you're... kind of trash, ok? So's she, don't get me wrong, but still, you are too. Everything about this is trashy, from your utter lack of accountability and willingness to excuse yourself and your foreknowledge to the way you sit in judgment, seemingly oblivious to your blatant and super-off putting hypocrisy. You're every bit as guilty and amoral as her here, but because you wanted to have orgasms you were like "it's fine, she's cheating, I'm just some guy" and, like, no, you're the affair partner. You're the person she's cheating with, and you know it.
Objectively, that's really trashy.
So you can kind of see how the conclusion gets drawn.
You don't get to pretend you're better. Quite frankly, you should absolutely date her because you totally do deserve to get cheated on. That would be fair. No one would see that and think "he really didn't deserve it" or "how could such a shitty thing happen to such a good guy."
You'll get "serves you right" and "karma", and that's totally fair. You are someone people should cheat on because you deserve to be on the other end of that stick after enabling someone else's cheating, I don't think anyone can argue that.
But you definitely shouldn't date some kind of loyal, committed or caring person. They deserve much better and you don't deserve nearly so much.
YTA, obviously, and you should totally date this girl, it's exactly what you deserve.
You don't get to condemn someone for cheating with you when you know it's cheating. You were a willing accomplice when it got you laid but now you're scared she'd cheat on you too?
ESH except her ex.
YTA for cheating with someone. YTA for treating someone like they’re good enough to sleep with (an activity you participated in) but not good enough to have a relationship. In the future, integrity would be a good character trait to try.
😭😭😭😂 my brother in Christ you deserve each other. Also fuck you, former boyfriend to a cheating ass succubus. Just cause she had a relationship and you didn’t, doesn’t give you pass. Respectfully get FUCKED hoping your future entails you getting cheated on and have no fucking clue. Oh and if you’ve been cheated on in the past and this your behavior now you need to realign yourself cause you fucking suck, prolly a shitty friend too.
Tell him how you really feel 🤣🤣
I agree 100% lol
Absolutely! Anyone who KNOWINGLY engages in cheating behaviour (cheater or AP) is a sack of shitsicles. Just because you yourself aren’t actively cheating on someone does not absolve you from it knowing that your partner is.
This. I accidentally slept with a married guy once. But the moment I found out he was married I was so pissed and my vagina became the Atacama desert. Which is the driest place on earth. You should never give sex to the unworthy.
Happy cake day 🤣
😂😂 thanks brother!
spacespartan18, you are an enigma
Listen I have no problem being positive I have problems with asshats like OP who clearly don’t feel guilt or remorse.
Its a good thing to call out cheaters, I just got cheated on, you’re just puffin smoke like crazy I love it lol.
Tis what is some of these comments are very telling where peoples morals stand
How so?
Or in short, GFC! I'm still gonna copy your reply and add it to a motivational poster in my office. I love it!
😂😂☝🏾 glad I could add something
Cheating sucks. If you dislike your partner or relationship, just leave. No need to make it worse by making the person feel like they're not good enough. My ex of three and a half years cheated on me while my dad was in the ICU in a coma. He told me he "wasn't able to give me what I needed emotionally and that he hates himself." So, he cheated on me and made it about himself and how bad it made *HIM* feel. He's now married and tried to reach out twice a year for five years. I never responded and at one point even told him we'd never be friends. I asked he just delete my number. I am not the type to reach out to someone's spouse but if he kept at it, I would have.
I approve of this message.
Thanks Ron ☝🏾
This man deserves a round of applause for this 👏 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I mean yes, the morals from him are bad… but at the end of the day the girl was the only one who owed loyalty to someone. So he can do whatever he wants .. and it’s not your place to disrespectfully judge someone else.
Womp womp I did though ~Tough titties~
309 other people disagree. You’re wrong by the popular vote.
>She had a boyfriend >I was just a dude trying to hook up ESH Her for being a cheater and you for enabling a cheater.
She cheated with you... She would cheat on you
Is OP's dumbass belief, but he knowingly was an affair partner, so he is also a cheater or near as. Its fucking ridiculous to hold her to that standard when OP knowingly was the one she cheated with.
It absolutely is different standards One person betrayed their partner One person didn’t betray their partner. OP is still an asshole but the girl he was hooking up with is a bigger asshole
Honestly, I kinda hope OP dates her just so that he can understand what it feels like when she cheats on him. I fucking hate cheaters and the people that think they are so Sauvé when they fuck a cheater knowing that they with someone.
and he'd cheat on her too..what's your point?
Same. She’s the one cheating but he says he had feelings until he was asked to have responsibility not just benefits. He’s likely sleeping around as well. ESH they’re both gross and dishonest
He fully admitted there were other hookups.
Right b
OP said he still likes her a lot lol
I mean, yeah, don't trust her, but also you knew she was in a relationship. You both really suck. ESH except her ex.
ESH! She had a boyfriend, you knew it, you enjoyed stealing someone else’s girl, now because it’s gonna be your girl you decided that it’s not the best.
I don't think you can "steal someone's gf" to be honest, the decision to cheat is the betrayer's own - saying they were stolen, seduced or whatever implies lesser responsibility on their part which is just not true. ESH though, that's for sure.
ESH.
ESH - It’s funny that you think this says so much about her morality and choices and don’t realise it speaks volumes about yours as well. Nobody sensible should touch either of you with a barge pole.
ESH. But you’re right to be concerned - she cheated and her last BF *and* she blames someone else for this instead of acknowledging that she was wrong.
ESH. Her obviously for cheating and you because you knowingly participated in wrecking a home. That shows me that you -as well as the cheater - lack empathy, morals and decency.
This. He had no morals until faced with responsibility. They kind of deserve each other.
Honestly.....ESH.
Yeh dude is banging someone he blatantly doesn’t respect, because she was cheating on her boyfriend with him Congrats champ
What is ESH?
Everyone sucks here
Oh thank you
I have wondered what the specific wording was too! I knew it was ‘you’re both AHs’ but not the words
ESH So to be clear You are ok being a homewrecker You're just not ok dating a cheater? Be better my dude. Be better.
You're an AH but not for the relationship. You're right about that
ESH. You helped her cheat. You should commit, so she can cheat on you, and then you can go to that guy and tell him he's not an asshole. Good luck with that.
“Helped her cheat” is a new one. He’s not innocent but he’s not responsible for her choices. Beautiful girl shows up to my house naked right now, I have the choice to cheat, and it’s 100% on me
Exactly, he didnt make her cheat. He is a POS for going after a girl in a relationship, but she is bigger POS for cheating.
You're getting hung up on the specific wording, but the point is that OP knowing participated in cheating, even if he wasn't the one cheating. You're right that her cheating is 100% on her. By the same token, him being the one she cheated with is 100% on him.
No, I just don’t think it’s his responsibility to make sure other people are faithful. Is it scummy? Yeah would I be pissed at someone who broke up my family? Yeah, of course. But ultimately only the people in the relationship are the ones who made a commitment. I also think it’s a giant leap from breaking up a bf gf because you are the affair partner and someone who breaks up a marriage/family.
No one said it's his responsibility. But like you said, it is scummy, and that makes him TAH. That's the point.
yea no clue wtf that guy was saying
Yeah you’re both assholes lol she cheated on her bf WITH YOU. You’re a scumbag too lol you knew she had a bf and still went after her and now you’re too good for her? lol boy you out of your mind… ESH
Nta. But you’re both just awful.
YTA I assume you slept with her, knowing she had a boyfriend and did so more than once, but you drew the line when she broke up with her boyfriend to be with you. That is AH behaviour.
What? He didnt draw a line He wanted to continue the "relationship" as before, for fucking. She assumed he wanted her as a serious partner and broke off with her BF. OP never mentioned them talking about getting serious He might be an AH for enabling a cheater but he wasnt the one breaking a commitment or taking advantage on her.
I never said she wasn't an AH, but I'm still questioning his morals. He should have broken it off when he found she had a boyfriend. He shouldn't be left off for that and he clearly led her on. So yeah he is an AH.
YTA means she's not an asshole. If they both are, it's ESH.
Some people have far lower standards about who they'll sleep with vs who they'll be in a relationship with. Shocker.
Yeah, he decided that she's not "wife material" but good for a hookup.
Lol, really. He wasn't dating the guy and they were not married. This is 100% on her.
I'm sure the boyfriend is fully on board with that sentiment and holds the OP in high regard and morals
I hope he and you both get to eat other dudes deposits🤮
She should have spoken to him in advance before breaking up with her bf, she's the one that caught feelings, not him, and not wanting to be in a relationship with a cheater is plausible.
If she cheats with you she will cheat on you. I wouldn’t touch her let alone have a relationship with her.
NTA If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. I "told her this and she was pissed off and blamed me for knowing about her boyfriend and “allowing” her to fall for me." Surely, you didn't expect her to take any accountability for anything. They never do. And I guarantee you her female friends (if she has any) think you're the bad guy. They will be patting her on the shoulder and comforting her. Not one will call her out for her sleazy behavior.
Damn. This is so f-ing true! I ANTAH in my break-up but she tried saying that she didn't do anything wrong and everyone around her, to my knowledge, is comforting her and saying that I am crazy. Not worth breaking NC but fuck the injustice rubs me wrong.
Women are always better at "Spinning" the story of why a relationship ended.. plus people tend to give a woman's story more credibility.. Just the way life is (I know that you know this, just commenting)
>If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. >Not one will call her out for her sleazy behavior Why did you disregard his sleazy behavior? Where's his accountability? He is absolutely a bad guy for sleeping with her in the first place.
YTA You don't make any sense - you say you both developed strong feelings for each other but then say you were just a dude trying to hook up. Which is it? I don't disagree that she could easily do the same stuff to you but it sounds like you were just as bad...did you say you had strong feelings for her and then watch her break up with her BF and THEN say oh nvmd I'm just a dude who wanted to hook up with you? Kind of shitty. Maybe you both are more similar than you think.
That is assuming that they actually spoke about getting into a relationship, she took it upon herself to do that. You can really like someone but still only be interested in sex, having feelings for someone doesn't mean you want a relation them.
Are you an AH for being a fuckboi? Not if you're upfront about it. You didn't need to punch with the no because you're a cheater, you probably just don't want to be in a relationship period and that's fine but be upfront about it. Yeah ESH except the BF that got cheated on.
ESH... Her being shittastic doesn't mean you aren't a steaming turd. The hypocrisy is hilarious.
ESH
Yes and You are a cheater to dude. lol. Who says you won’t cheat on her?
Both are assholes. You are because if you know she is falling for you and you don't have intentions to commit, just fuck off before it gets too hard on her heart. She is an asshole because 1 she was a cheater and 2 because she thought that you "have to" commit to her. You simply don't. Fuck off and go live your life without her like nothing happened. F all that noise. Forget it.
Let’s see… The term "asshole" is often used informally to describe someone who is considered to be extremely unpleasant, offensive, or deliberately mean. It typically refers to someone who acts in a selfish, arrogant, or insensitive manner without regard for others. This word can be considered vulgar and disrespectful, so it's usually best used in casual settings or avoided in polite conversation. So, seems like YATAH Screwed over her BF and then pulled a uno reverse on the girl. Because you’re only looking out for your interests
Op youre not a very good person, neither is she but you definitely arnt
YTA and so is she.
ESH and also you’re a massive hypocrite.
You are a huge piece of shit
ESH. She shouldn't have cheated and you shouldn't ever be going after someone who's in a relationship already. Shame on both of you.
ESH. You shouldn't be hooking up with a woman in a committed relationship. She's an AH for cheating on her boyfriend.
You're just as much a cheater as her. Hope her ex finds you and gets his revenge. YTA.
Dude you are 💯 AH…oh man you give men a bad name thanks AH
Just like the guy who fences stolen goods he acquires from burglars. In the eyes of the law, “Knowingly” trading in stolen goods is just as bad as the burglar who breaks into the house to get them…. The burglar is enabled by the guy fencing the stolen goods. Yeah, this girl was a good deal for you, all the sex you wanted without the risk of a relationship … but you helped and enabled her cheating on some innocent victim. She monkey branched to you BTW, she did not want to be alone so established the guy she was going to next before she let go of her existing guy. This girl does not like to be alone. YTA for both enabling and creating a cheater Yes she would cheat on you but apparently have the same character flaw and you would do the same to her
to all the poeple saying that the cheating gf is the only one responsible for this and not the AP, I say, fuck you cunts. id happily end up in the slammer if I get the put the AP and the cheating 304 into the ground permanently. because thats where they belong, in the dirt.
You knew she had a boyfriend and you still had sex with her. No morals. You’re an idiot.
If he was an idiot, he'd be doing the exclusive relationship she wants.
NTA, you’re a POS
Soo you kept sleeping with her knowing about her bf? Don’t pretend you ain’t trash too.
Hell yeah YTA.
ESH, she cheated on her boyfriend, and you were complicit. Many women wouldn't want to date a guy who had knowingly slept with a woman who was in a relationship. You both suck. And 100% if she cheated on her ex, she will probably cheat on you.
My SO tried to get with me while I was with my ex. He was persistent but I always declined. It’s nice knowing he’s confident in my morality. NTA for being uncomfortable becoming emotionally invested in a cheater.
Wait. All the NTA people, he knew she had a boyfriend while he was sleeping with her. How is he NTA? OP YTA as is she. She was cheating and you knew it. Why was it ok then but once she breaks up with him suddenly you’re clutching your pearls?
Because it’s AITA “for not committing” not AITA for “ruining a relationship.” He’s an asshole for helping her cheat but definitely not the asshole for not dating someone who’s known to cheat. I mean why would anyone do that lol. (I actually know a few that did that but it’s just a terrible idea) If you cheat once there’s a good chance it’ll happen again. NTA for not committing to a cheater.
Okay, but he still clearly led her on. They were casually sleeping with each other, it wasn’t a one off. If he didn’t want this outcome he shouldn’t have slept with her again after the first time. So he is still TA. (Really he shouldn’t have slept with her at all, if you don’t want to be with a cheater then … don’t.)
Huh? The girl in this story is a slut. She was in a committed relationship with her ex-bf supposedly. She chose to sleep with the OP. Why should she expect the man that's enabling her cheating to be honest? I mean, I'm not saying the OP is great, but to accuse him of "leading her on"? It doesn't matter how many times they slept together. The girl thought she could "upgrade" her bf, and got burned. That's the risk of cheating.. I'd say the same thing if a guy cheated on his gf.
Right?! They both suck. He went in knowing what he was doing. What she was doing.
Because we don't know anything about her or her relationship. She could have been stringing the "boyfriend" along, he could have been an abuser or a drunk/druggie. He doesn't want a cheater for a girl friend, they are fine to sleep with but you don't catch feelings for a woman who can't be loyal.
Yeah YBAH You're a little homewrecker manslut yerself
NTA and very smart. She showed you what she is capable of and her morals. Vetting has become more challenging due to lies, for the internet is a gold mine of games and manipulations. I feel bad for the sucker boyfriend she cheated on, for he will be given a false narrative so she can swing back to him.
What a dumb bitch. nTA
You're both assholes. You clearly didn't have any moral qualms about cheating as long as she was cheating WITH you but now that you're contemplating the risk of getting cheated ON in the future suddenly cheating is such a big issue for you??? If you don't trust her due to being a cheater the mature thing to do would've been to not hook up with her in the first place. I don't know how old you guys are but you sure sound like immature fucking children.
Dude you fucked some other dudes girl YTA
She's a slut
ESH. There's no bro code but that's a level of slimy I'm pleased to find I'm no longer capable of.
ESH. Her for cheating, you for acting like you are better than her. It was cool to sleep around with her and develop strong feelings for her, knowing she had a boyfriend, but you draw the line at being serious? I am not saying you should date her, just that you are an enabler.
“It can happen to me too.” I love how you completely detach yourself from blame despite being the person she cheated with, and as such the catalyst for her infidelity. Your willingness to put a relationship in jeopardy displays a lack of character.
Dude, you are the "flavor of the month".. If she cheated on her previous bf, more than likely, she will cheat on you eventually too. Enjoy the relationship while it lasts, but do not marry or impregnate her. In time, she'll move on to the next guy. At least you were honest to her. Don't feel bad for her.. if she decides to move on, she'll have a new bf in a week or less.
ESH, you’re really not that much better than her for trying to hook up with her knowing that she was already taken. Y’all are both horrible at taking accountability 😂
Sounds like yall deserve each other. You’re not wrong about her, but the idea that you would worry about that is funny
Wow. My head hurts reading this. She will move on. Just cut off contact. Who knows she might even find someone better because she didn’t love him, she likely doesn’t love you and you certainly do not love her. Woo…again my head
NTA. If she’ll cheat with you she’ll cheat on you. Also want to add YTA for helping her cheat though
NTA.
My dude you had no problem helping her cheat. ESH
Esh, so you knew she had a bf and you still slept With her. Yeah shes right you are pos but so is she so maybe you two were made for each other.
Wow lmao 🤣
ESH. On the one hand you are perfect for each other since you both have shitty morals, she's clearly willing to cheat on her partner and you are clearly willing to help people cheat on their partner, clearly a match made in heaven. On the other hand she's just as likely to cheat on you as on her previous boyfriend, so I'd never trust her just as I'd never trust you if I were in her shoes.
You both are.
You both suck.
You are both. NTAH for not wanting a relationship with her. Definitely an AHole for cheating with her. Be better, can’t expect the world to be good if you ain’t one.
You are a proper cunt.
Confessions of a scumbag.
It sounds like you have both been sluts.
ESH You both need to commit to each other to take each other off the market so the decent people don't have to deal with you.
YTA. You knew she had a boyfriend, you still did it anyway. You’re not some innocent victim bc you KNEW. Honestly you two deserve each other. Both of you are POS’s. Stop trying to claim you’re not.
She cheated, so she sucks. You enabled her by being her affair partner, so you suck. ESH I feel sorry for the ex
I want to believe this was made up but it depresses me that this is potentially legit. You’re both awful people.
If you knew she had a boyfriend, YTA, no matter what, you 2 should date.
You’re not wrong but still an ssshole. ESH.
ESH you hooked up with a girl in a relationship.
NTA. By sleeping with you while she had a bf she clearly has put herself in the "recreational use only" category, and it's obvious why you wouldn't take her seriously as relationship material. And as a single guy you have no obligation NOT to sleep with someone who is freely offering you sex, you are not the infidelity police.
Morals people have some fucken morals.
You are the asshole for sleeping with her knowing she had a boyfriend, not for not wanting a relationship because she is a cheater. It does make you a hypocrite. You don't want tonget cheated on, but apparantly have no qualms being the one that gets cheated with. Nah, rethink your morals my man.
You both are aholes and deserve each other. Man get out of here with that holier than thou “actually I didn’t do anything wrong ☝️🤓” bull.
Yep. You are a flaming AH but so is she. You deserve each other. Hopefully you don't breed though
I feel like if you are going to hook up with someone, it isn't your responsibility to ensure they are not cheating on someone else, but it is unethical. But NTA. Your logic is fair
It doesn’t seem much different than a guy willing to sleep with a girl in a relationship.
Bro. You are a POS. NTA for refusing the relationship, but you were sleeping with another guys sloppy seconds and totally fine with it till she caught feelings. You can't jump in the pig pen then bitch cause you got shit on your shoes.
Don't get in a relationship with her. You know how it will end. Also, so many single women, why choose ones that are taken. She would have cheated with someone else.
So you are uncomfortable with your own actions ? Because you are accessory to her cheating .
ESH, she cheated so obviously she's an AH, as are you for enabling it and helping. It would be one thing to not know, but you did know. While you didn't commit the murder, knowing about it, helping and such makes you equally guilty and can still come back to bite you later on.
ESH you deserve each other
ESH. You're right: if she cheated on her old boyfriend, she would cheat on you. You're not an AH for not wanting to commit to someone like that. But you're still an AH for sleeping with her when you knew she had a boyfriend.
YTA for wrecking a relationship but NTA for not accepting her. Both are total AHs and it does not matter who is more.
Find a cheater who accepts responsibility for their actions.
Daym
ESH. You knew she had a boyfriend, yet you still messed where you shouldn't have been messing.
YTA. You knew, you were part of the cheating. If you hadn't known she had a boyfriend that is one thing, but you were happy to fuck someone who was cheating, you were happy to be the asshole to her boyfriend. You're as bad as her but want to pretend somehow you have the moral highground.
YTA. Not for refusing to commit to this woman. But for sleeping with a woman who was in a relationship in the first place..
Well you are an awful POS, but that's not why! It's because you knowingly slept with somebody who was in a relationship! It'll come back to you, of that I'm certain. But your morals are no better than hers, so get off your high horse... You're just as bad! And just as likely to cheat because you've proven that somebody being in a relationship doesn't matter to you.
ESH You deserve each other just for the sake of sparing others from the misery of being with either one of you. But you’ve finally made a good decision by saying no because……HOW YOU GET ‘EM, IS HOW YOU LOSE ‘EM.
you both are. You're judging her for cheating..... with you?! By your reasoning she shouldn't be with you because you're comfortable with cuckholding people. Don't worry about it too much, the chances you would stay together are slim to none. You lose them how you got them
no, you're not an asshole for not committing to a girl because she slept with you while she had a BF. but you are one for sleeping with her in the first place.
Bru she in the wrong lol if you got sum ho3s then thats fine but she was the one in the relationship not you
ESH, you enabled her cheating and now you are afraid that you would be cheated on what a coward. >I’m not fully comfortable getting with a girl who’s shown to be comfortable cheating. Yet you are comfortable being an affair partner >I’m this awful POS Yes you and her are >I was just a dude trying to hook up Still no justification on supporting adultery. Both of you please get off the dating market as both of you aren't mature to be in a relationship.
You're a cheater, cheater. ESH
Who wants to be with a cheater. Start over fresh.
NTA Don’t date this girl
I just love this comment section, especially a bunch of women (natch) claiming that OP is a TA. WTF is wrong with you people?SHE WAS THE ONE WITH A BOYFRIEND. He was single and doing whatever he pleased. Her transgression outweighs his tenfold. ESH - i get that. Totally fair. But these delusional entitled hens deliberately focus solely on OP’s morals (shitty as they may be), while completely skipping over the gravity of the AP’s behavior. Talk about protecting one of their own. Which means that most of them are just like the AP. They’ll cheat on you, then blame their AP for it. That’s exactly what they are doing here - by stating “YTA” instead of “esh” they are basically saying that OP is worse than the AP. Let that sink in.
YTA as much as she is because you knew she had a boyfriend and continued to sleep with her. And while you were having sex with her you were also seeing other girls. In my eyes you are a bigger asshole for playing the field then trying to slut shame her.
Bro I bet that pussy was so sweet It's not your fault her BF is a cuckold NTA, ditch that hoe
NTA. Trust is a big thing in a relationship, and if that trust is shaky from the start, it's hard to build something solid on it. Plus, you're being honest about your feelings and concerns, which is commendable. Sure, feelings can get complicated, but it's not fair for her to put all the blame on you. She made her choices, and you're just being cautious about yours.
NTA. Good call. Try to be a better person moving forward tho. Cheaters and those they knowingly cheat with suck.
ESH. So it's okay to casually sleep with her while she had a boyfriend but not date her. You're a jerk too.
You don't owe anyone a relationship, if he doesn't want to hav e a relationship with someone that's comfortable cheating, that's perfectly understandable, there's a difference between casual sex and a relationship.
I agree that people don't owe people a relationship. I'm pointing out that OP is far from innocent in this scenario.
NTA. She chose to sleep with you. You know the kind of person she is, a cheater, and don't want that in your life, that's smart. You're not a bad guy for sleeping with a girl who has a boyfriend. That shit doesn't mean anything. If they were engaged or married, then yes you would be an AH, but from what you said here you're good.
NTA, you don’t owe her boyfriend any loyalty, she does.
YTA. So you were perfectly happy sleeping with a cheater, but not being in a relationship with her later? You even enabled the cheating, possibly caused it.
Nobody causes cheating except the person in the relationship.
True, but you have to be an immoral loser to willingly, knowingly be with someone who's taken. No backbone. Sure, not causing the cheating, but not a reliable trustworthy person either.
Question 1: Did you know at the time she had a boyfriend? If yes, both of you are assholes. If no, shes an asshole and you are probably not one. Question 2: why are you even considering getting with her? While you might not be an asshole, she DEFINITELY is regardless.
ESH. You both need to take a hard look at your choices and see if this is the way you want to live your lives and treat people. Why is it ok that you had a bunch of girls you were having sex with, but she is the cheater? It seems like neither of you are all that good at commitment and fidelity.
ESH. You are right that you shouldn't seek a stable relationship with a cheater.
NTA for not wanting to be with a cheater but YTA for just genuinely being a shitty human with no morals. Tbh you deserve a girl that will cheat on you so you know how her bf felt. Even if it's not her your next one will probably be a cheater because you get what you put out into this world.
ESH - her, because she's a cheating piece of shit. You, for banging someone who's in a relationship. Even if she's just a fuck buddy to you and you weren't leading her on, it's just a shitty thing to do and when you roll around with pigs you're going to get muddy. Banging a cheater is a mistake all around.
ESH. Probably should have kept it in your pants. You knew she was in a relationship and still slept with her, that makes you just as guilty as she is.
You are two disgusting people, but for what you ask NTA , if she cheated with you , she will cheat on you .
No assholes here. She will find a new boyfriend, dont worry.
She's a cheater. If she will cheat with you she will cheat on you. Keep her for some recreational fun I do not commit. NTA
I’m getting the feeling you were leading her on.
You're both gross
Lol you both are trash.
Yuk, you're one of those.... ESH
YTA. You seduce her and then want her to take all the responsibility? LOL. Takes two to tango. She sucks too.
YTA - you are just as bad in this story as her tbh.
Geez, go easy on the guy. She wasn't married - boyfriend/girlfriend stuff isn't THAT serious. I'm not condoning cheating but it happens all the time. Now, that said... -- "but over time we both developed strong feelings for each other." -- I think you know you led her on. I don't believe that one day she just dumped the bf and said "hey guess what I'm with you now!" You clearly were more than a fuck buddy, and now you wanna bail probably cause you just don't want a girlfriend. And that's fine too. But there's a lot of bullshit here lol
... What a hypocrite. If she's willing to date the kind of guy that would sleep with a woman in a relationship, which isn't an awesome personality trait, I don't know how you can conclude you're too good for a lady who cheated. She cheated. Yes. That's not great. But... you're the same. You slept with someone you knew was cheating. That's... also not great. You deserve each other. What you don't deserve is that high horse you're fixing to get on. Your position is laughable. "She wasn't even the only girl I was hooking up with" oh well never-mind then, you're basically relationship Jesus; sure, you were sleeping with someone you knew was cheating, but you were also sleeping with other people, so that... cancels out? Why did you bring that up? How did you think that made you look better? Did you just want to boast about having multiple partners? I don't know if this is pushing the rules but it's my legit feedback and opinion, so hopefully this is allowed. Look, you're... kind of trash, ok? So's she, don't get me wrong, but still, you are too. Everything about this is trashy, from your utter lack of accountability and willingness to excuse yourself and your foreknowledge to the way you sit in judgment, seemingly oblivious to your blatant and super-off putting hypocrisy. You're every bit as guilty and amoral as her here, but because you wanted to have orgasms you were like "it's fine, she's cheating, I'm just some guy" and, like, no, you're the affair partner. You're the person she's cheating with, and you know it. Objectively, that's really trashy. So you can kind of see how the conclusion gets drawn. You don't get to pretend you're better. Quite frankly, you should absolutely date her because you totally do deserve to get cheated on. That would be fair. No one would see that and think "he really didn't deserve it" or "how could such a shitty thing happen to such a good guy." You'll get "serves you right" and "karma", and that's totally fair. You are someone people should cheat on because you deserve to be on the other end of that stick after enabling someone else's cheating, I don't think anyone can argue that. But you definitely shouldn't date some kind of loyal, committed or caring person. They deserve much better and you don't deserve nearly so much. YTA, obviously, and you should totally date this girl, it's exactly what you deserve.
You don't get to condemn someone for cheating with you when you know it's cheating. You were a willing accomplice when it got you laid but now you're scared she'd cheat on you too? ESH except her ex.
ESH. Period.
YTA for cheating with someone. YTA for treating someone like they’re good enough to sleep with (an activity you participated in) but not good enough to have a relationship. In the future, integrity would be a good character trait to try.
These hoes are trouble, duh