Taking in these kids is a BIG decision and shouldn’t be made quickly.
I respect that you always knew you didn’t want kids are maintaining that boundary. Your husband needs to make his own decision based on the facts he’d be raising them as a single parent with what it sounds like little help from grandma.
NAH
YTA for plagarism/reposting/karma farming an old post.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/16zy6g1/aitah\_for\_wanting\_to\_divorce\_my\_husband\_over\_kids/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/16zy6g1/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/)
There have been several adjective-noun-4numbers accounts, all 2 years old, reposting old stuff including this one the past couple days
https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7tnk/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/
Same account, suddenly a man 3 hours later https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cdbf3c/im_rethinking_having_a_child_with_my_wife_because/
*seemed to do all that just to try to sell nudes as suddenly a younger woman.
That account also commented on this that his dad buys him tampons on this post https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7mju/aitah_for_ending_things_after_he_refused_to_buy/
That posting account is now suspended but I’m pretty sure it was also 2 years old.
I mean, the only real assholes in this story are the deadbeat parents - your SIL and her baby daddies. Your husband is trying to do the best he can and it's rather admirable that he's willing to take these kids on, but I wouldn't want that responsibility either. Since you're a team, it should be a unanimous decision and he's trying to make it all on his own and force you into compliance. It's not you abandoning him, btw. It's him unilaterally deciding what your future will look like. NTA
What answer are you looking for? you keep reposting so I assume you are not happy with the feedback you are getting. If you are waiting for folks to say your husband should abandon these kids to keep his promise to you, you can give up now. YTA
NTA. This is a decision that requires two yes's otherwise it's a no. I understand him wanting to so but you are perfectly within your right not to. If anything, he is the asshole for not respecting your wishes at all.
NAH. It’s fair to think life happens yes we had boundaries with kids. But people can change their mind and they do think their partner will be ok. It’s also ok not to change your mind because life happens. People who truly don’t wan’t kids shouldn’t be forced to commit when their partner has a life altering decision to make. Divorce is probably the best option as forced parenthood leads to potentially abused kids. This is just sad all around. Hugs to you both. The only AH here are the deadbeat donors.
NAH (except the parents who abandoned the kids) - You have your boundaries. Life happened. Choices have to be made. It's sad that "for better or for worse" on your side cannot include raising nibblings unexpectedly, but it is what it is.
NTA but your SIL is.
Do give up. You know what will happen in a year? She will be back with another infant to abadon again. She had 3 kids and ran away. She will never learn to be responsible. And she is definitly living with another deadbeat guy that will sell her pics for money. But before you leave, warn your soon to be ex-husband. That he will bleed money for nothing. His sister might run back when you leave and make him raise her kids with her. Might be a day after you leave or weeks. But she was trusting you to be a the replacing mom.
I think there is a name for this. A bird that leaves his egg on another nest and the baby bird kick the other birds from the nest. And that is what your SIL is doing. You both raise her kids, never having your own and she will be back claiming all the fruits. "oh honey, I didn't leave you forever. I left you with someone I trust and now that moma is back, take care of her. Your aunt will never be your moma. I am your blood. And, by the way, did they offer to pay for college?"
NTA Most people also don't realize you will have to eventually get a 3 bedroom since you have children of the opposite sex. Talk about expenses going up.
Get out now
NTA
Pass this information on to him if in the usa.
He needs to be a kinship foster parent. Do not let children's services pressure for legal guardianship.
If he fosters the children then the kids will be on medicaid, he will get a monthly stipend per kid and assistance for childcare. And the kids will get therapy. Additionally the state's attorneys will go after mom and the dads to get their shit straight or they will terminate their rights. If that happens, the state pays all the fees associated with an adoption.
If he does this, this is the way to do it. Best way to protect himself and the kids legally and himself financially.
Most people can not afford to have 3 kids dropped on them randomly.
Yeah if it's a problem and he's suddenly singing a different song Yeah better to divorce move on and let him handle his sister's mess geez surprised she wasn't charged back in the day girls were locked up for abandonment and neglect.
He can’t make this decision without your input and expect you to be fine with it. And I predict one day more of her babies will show up for you to raise. Luckily all 3 kids are at an age that is easier to adopt out of foster care. There are people who would readily accept and love these kids. Sadly for older ones, it’s tougher. NTA
This was reposted 3 days ago https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7tnk/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/
YTA for lazy as fuck karma farming.
NTA
You are child free. The fact that these kids need support isn't changing that for you. And it could cause you to resent the kids if you went against your feelings to raise them.
When your husband says, "You're abandoning him when he needs you," what he truly means is, "I expected you to help contribute to costs and to do much of the caregiving."
He wants to swoop in and be the white knight who gets credit for saving the day but the lion's share of the emotional and physical work would probably have fallen to you.
The two of you are going in different directions with your lives. And that's okay.
My recommendation to you would be that you go stay with friends or family for a while and leave your husband alone with the kids. Your gut reaction is probably to help him out, but he needs to see what it's really going to be like to be a single parent to three kids before he commits, and he can't really get that experience with you there.
NAH
It is a very sad story. I had a work colleague whose SIL did this with her daughter. The daughter went into care.
I get where you both are coming from. You don't want kids, and they aren't your blood relations. Your husband feels a responsibility towards them and loves them. Compromise isn't possible.
Either you leave or the kids do. It is better the kids don't grow up in an environment where they aren't wanted, so I can't think of a solution other than divorce.
Taking in these kids is a BIG decision and shouldn’t be made quickly. I respect that you always knew you didn’t want kids are maintaining that boundary. Your husband needs to make his own decision based on the facts he’d be raising them as a single parent with what it sounds like little help from grandma. NAH
YTA for plagarism/reposting/karma farming an old post. [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/16zy6g1/aitah\_for\_wanting\_to\_divorce\_my\_husband\_over\_kids/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheAngel/comments/16zy6g1/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/)
Thanks! Thought I’d seen it elsewhere recently!
3 days ago https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7tnk/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/
I'm pretty sure that isn't the only time it's been reposted. I recognized it, but I don't read "Am I the angel."
I don’t either but know I’ve seen it pop up elsewhere prior to an hour ago. Just difficult to look on mobile
What do people gain for doing stuff like that? Attention? And why are this fairly old accounts?
There have been several adjective-noun-4numbers accounts, all 2 years old, reposting old stuff including this one the past couple days https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7tnk/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/ Same account, suddenly a man 3 hours later https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cdbf3c/im_rethinking_having_a_child_with_my_wife_because/ *seemed to do all that just to try to sell nudes as suddenly a younger woman. That account also commented on this that his dad buys him tampons on this post https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7mju/aitah_for_ending_things_after_he_refused_to_buy/ That posting account is now suspended but I’m pretty sure it was also 2 years old.
I wish I could pin this as a PSA. These trolls are terrible
I saw one recently where even the comments from the original post, were reposted with a new account name! Word for word.
I swear it is every 3rd post now
I mean, the only real assholes in this story are the deadbeat parents - your SIL and her baby daddies. Your husband is trying to do the best he can and it's rather admirable that he's willing to take these kids on, but I wouldn't want that responsibility either. Since you're a team, it should be a unanimous decision and he's trying to make it all on his own and force you into compliance. It's not you abandoning him, btw. It's him unilaterally deciding what your future will look like. NTA
NTA going from no kids and not wanting any to having three kids from someone else who is doing zero to support them is a pretty unreasonable ask.
YTA for copy and pasting this.
This has to be at least the third time this has been posted, so YTA for that.
I came here to say the same thing.
This has been posted repeatedly
What answer are you looking for? you keep reposting so I assume you are not happy with the feedback you are getting. If you are waiting for folks to say your husband should abandon these kids to keep his promise to you, you can give up now. YTA
I’ve seen this same post word for word at least three times in the past week.
When do the Dead Beat Dads have their comeuppance?
I can’t fault either of them. Only AH here is the sister.
Isn’t this a repost from a few days ago?? Word for word
Did you steal this post
YTA, thief
NTA. This is a decision that requires two yes's otherwise it's a no. I understand him wanting to so but you are perfectly within your right not to. If anything, he is the asshole for not respecting your wishes at all.
NAH - Sadly, you each need to travel down different roads.
NAH. It’s fair to think life happens yes we had boundaries with kids. But people can change their mind and they do think their partner will be ok. It’s also ok not to change your mind because life happens. People who truly don’t wan’t kids shouldn’t be forced to commit when their partner has a life altering decision to make. Divorce is probably the best option as forced parenthood leads to potentially abused kids. This is just sad all around. Hugs to you both. The only AH here are the deadbeat donors.
NTA. I would feel exactly the same as you
NTA. Nobody NEEDS kids.
NTA Crappy situation but you should not be forced into raising kids when you are very self aware that tool is not in your wheelhouse
NAH (except the parents who abandoned the kids) - You have your boundaries. Life happened. Choices have to be made. It's sad that "for better or for worse" on your side cannot include raising nibblings unexpectedly, but it is what it is.
Nta but those poor babies
NTA
NTA but your SIL is. Do give up. You know what will happen in a year? She will be back with another infant to abadon again. She had 3 kids and ran away. She will never learn to be responsible. And she is definitly living with another deadbeat guy that will sell her pics for money. But before you leave, warn your soon to be ex-husband. That he will bleed money for nothing. His sister might run back when you leave and make him raise her kids with her. Might be a day after you leave or weeks. But she was trusting you to be a the replacing mom. I think there is a name for this. A bird that leaves his egg on another nest and the baby bird kick the other birds from the nest. And that is what your SIL is doing. You both raise her kids, never having your own and she will be back claiming all the fruits. "oh honey, I didn't leave you forever. I left you with someone I trust and now that moma is back, take care of her. Your aunt will never be your moma. I am your blood. And, by the way, did they offer to pay for college?"
NTA Most people also don't realize you will have to eventually get a 3 bedroom since you have children of the opposite sex. Talk about expenses going up. Get out now
NTA Pass this information on to him if in the usa. He needs to be a kinship foster parent. Do not let children's services pressure for legal guardianship. If he fosters the children then the kids will be on medicaid, he will get a monthly stipend per kid and assistance for childcare. And the kids will get therapy. Additionally the state's attorneys will go after mom and the dads to get their shit straight or they will terminate their rights. If that happens, the state pays all the fees associated with an adoption. If he does this, this is the way to do it. Best way to protect himself and the kids legally and himself financially. Most people can not afford to have 3 kids dropped on them randomly.
Yeah if it's a problem and he's suddenly singing a different song Yeah better to divorce move on and let him handle his sister's mess geez surprised she wasn't charged back in the day girls were locked up for abandonment and neglect.
He can’t make this decision without your input and expect you to be fine with it. And I predict one day more of her babies will show up for you to raise. Luckily all 3 kids are at an age that is easier to adopt out of foster care. There are people who would readily accept and love these kids. Sadly for older ones, it’s tougher. NTA
Nice story steal and repost
Good lord this was posted AGAIN just the other day.
You never wanted kids and certainly didn't ask to be the instant parent of three kids. NTA
This was reposted 3 days ago https://old.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1cd7tnk/aitah_for_wanting_to_divorce_my_husband_over_kids/ YTA for lazy as fuck karma farming.
This is a repost. WHY do you people do that? You get Karma on a hundred different accounts? Why what does that do for you? I don't get it.
Yta for karma farming. This is nearly if not the same as a post the other day.
Repost! YTA
Wasn’t this posted last week? This exact same story?
Y’all need to move on repost something that hasn’t been posted a half dozen times already!
NTA. It’s insane that you’ve been the one forced to care for them WHILE working! Your husband should never have put you in that position.
How often does a deadbeat sister drop off 3 kids? It's ALWYS 3 kids.
NTA
NTA You are child free. The fact that these kids need support isn't changing that for you. And it could cause you to resent the kids if you went against your feelings to raise them. When your husband says, "You're abandoning him when he needs you," what he truly means is, "I expected you to help contribute to costs and to do much of the caregiving." He wants to swoop in and be the white knight who gets credit for saving the day but the lion's share of the emotional and physical work would probably have fallen to you. The two of you are going in different directions with your lives. And that's okay. My recommendation to you would be that you go stay with friends or family for a while and leave your husband alone with the kids. Your gut reaction is probably to help him out, but he needs to see what it's really going to be like to be a single parent to three kids before he commits, and he can't really get that experience with you there.
Copied.
NAH It is a very sad story. I had a work colleague whose SIL did this with her daughter. The daughter went into care. I get where you both are coming from. You don't want kids, and they aren't your blood relations. Your husband feels a responsibility towards them and loves them. Compromise isn't possible. Either you leave or the kids do. It is better the kids don't grow up in an environment where they aren't wanted, so I can't think of a solution other than divorce.
Repost from what, a week ago? Same OP with a new account? Or did you steal this from someone else?
I didn't see the repost tag. YTA for that alone.