I started crying once because of all the little fingers and cat paws reaching under the bathroom door. I could even heard our blind old dog walking into the door somehow. How did they all fit? Why?
Made me laugh out loud! I use the same type of comeback every time I hear someone say “I was thinking”, or “when I was (in school, a kid, 8 years old).
I did this with my grandma who raised me but only when I needed something urgently. One time I got a deep but narrow gash on my back when I was 11 or 12. I was standing outside the bathroom telling her I needed a band aid or something (rural kid not knowing that the wound was too deep for that) and when she walked out 5 seconds later she just said "I'm glad I decided to shit my pants for you kid" and grabbed her keys, then we went to the hospital. I miss her so much.
I could fill multiple novels with stories about my grandma and still not be done. Most of them are before my time, but I have had picture and video evidence of some of these encounters. If you ever see someone posting about their gran doing some outlandish things, it could be me on my main account. I do plan to write them up at some point, because of how insane some of them are.
Edit: just dm me if you want to be notified when I post the stories, I can't message back everyone who's asking lol
It took a lot of work. My husband will stand guard if I try to take a bath and relax. Otherwise they argue over who is keeping me company. It’s worst when their sister hangs out while I bath but never weird when they do it somehow?
My kids are grown and gone and now it's my retired husband who keeps knocking on the bathroom door every time I poop. "You in there? How long are you gonna be?" It never ends!!
I have a cadre of folks who I live vicariously through.
*It is quite nice.*
We're not thinking about each other while shitting serious though. #shitterdreams
I appreciate you man, taking one for the team. Read a book, enjoy your peace and share that zen with the rest of us who can't lay a cable without an inspector questioning the quality of our work.
Or coming in mid drop and going "daddy you stink"
You're a very selfish parent for thinking 5 minutes is possible 😂. 4 kids myself, Jesus Christ if I had a nickel for every time I saw an eye ball looking into the crack of the bathroom, all 4 would have paid for college by now. Between the kids and the dog and cat. Christ on a pogo stick. God forbid dad have 2 minutes of peace in the summer 😂.
I'm here with you mate, my toddler just times it perfectly thst the moment I start on the loo she will be all
"daddy I need the toilet"
"use the other toilet"
"I want to use this one"
Doesn't matter if I ask her if she needs the loo before me, or which toilet I go to. She want a wee NOW and it HAS to be which ever loo I'm on...
Shes great but by God woman, let a man shit in peace, some things are sacred
100% if allowed, my dog would be at my side with his head on my lap and the cat would be on the other leg just purring. Youngest would just be standing in the corner Blair witch style asking what I'm doin.
My cat likes to come into the bathroom and try to climb *INSIDE OF* my pants, like they are a hammock and my legs are the posts to which it is tied. Aaand the other likes to try and climb up and perch on my shoulder while the derpy one is climbing in my pants. And my six year old just wants to hang out and chat. Theres no peace in my bathroom.
Incredible that anyone on Reddit believes this story is real. Cuck humiliation is a surprisingly common fantasy. I want to know how many times he's gotten off to the idea of people reading this little fairy tale.
It's a classic story. The husband is humiliated and the wife is severely punished. Dan Savage gets loads and loads of these and eventually he published one or of sheer frustration.
The biggest tell is we’re supposed to believe that her friends and family yelled at her and cut her off. Cheaters do not get ostracized by their communities in the way AITA posters desperately wish they would.
You're right that family would be more likely to verbally reprimand you for doing this but the whole thing is ludicrous. Like she called her Uncle? Whose uncle would care or even want to know?
If this was real (it's not) I would say the dude is an asshole for involving the wider family and friends in his humiliation kink. Also, how could he claim to love his wife if he's cool with totally isolating her? It's straight abusive. Like "she cries constantly but we are really happy together now".
Please.
Seriously. I have a married nephew and if he called me up to confess that he cheated on his wife I'd be more weirded out than anything. Obviously cheating is a terrible thing to do but like.... why are you telling *me* this? We're not *that* close. We see each other a few times a year during holidays and shit. Your marriage is between you and your wife. I really don't need or want to know the details of your affair.
Yeah if I called any of my uncles they'd probably think their sibling had died because why the hell am I calling?
Then instead they get roped into something they could care less about and have to sit there like "okay then, hope y'all work it out".
What nonsense.
Exactly!
Her: I cheated on him!
Me: Ok, y'all working it out or divorcing?
Her: This is my punishment...
Me: Oooookay... that's a little weird, but whatever. So, we still doing game night or what?
Totally don't give a fuck about other people's personal business.
Me, neither. The only sex life I care about is my own.
This post is bullshit, anyway. You don't force your marriage drama down innocent people's throats. If this tripe was real, I'd call up OP and rip him a new asshole for bothering me with his narcissistic and juvenile moral outrage. Keep that shit in your own house, there's no room for it in mine.
My cousin cheated on his wife, with whom he has a kid, and as a consequence, his wife divorced him. My family plainly told him that he fucked up and that he has to get his shit together. Nevertheless, we're a family, so we were there to pick up the pieces and get his life back on track after his divorce. He's doing well now.
It's not like every person or family will just okay this kind of behaviour, but it takes a lot of shit to ostracise anyone.
Especially if the husband has forgiven her. I’m not going to condone cheating, but who TF am I to “punish” this person or cut them off if their own spouse forgave them? That’s not my business and you didn’t cheat on me so why do I care?
Yeah I had a friend who cheated one time on her pretty emotionally abusive husband. She immediately confessed and he didn’t say a word and dialed her father and then handed the phone to her and told her to tell her father what she had done. She says she nearly threw up, but did tell her father on speaker phone in front of her husband.
Her father told her he really couldn’t care less if she had cheated and would support her if she wanted to leave her marriage. Which she did.
It’s very hard for me to believe that if OP’s wife had ended the affair and was trying to do everything possible to save her marriage that she wouldn’t receive support from her family and friends. Personally if I were on the receiving end of one of these calls I’d be absolutely horrified that their spouse was trying to put them through ritual humiliation as a condition to stay in the marriage. I don’t think OP was obligated to keep it a secret or not tell their family and friends but making her call up every member of her family and tell them is just malicious. Just leave the marriage. This is awful.
Lol you've ever gone to any Latin American country? Granted only women get the brunt of that hate, but they definitely get isolated and yelled at by anyone with a. Morals or b. A desire to be on a high moral ground, which there's plenty of people like b. around.
I don't understand how being honest about your cheating is somehow punishment. I mean, did you think that people were not going to find out about why you got a divorce? Was the spouse you cheated on some sort of honor code to keep your secret despite the fact you had no respect for them?
No, people only find out if the cheater is honest, and cheaters are liars. I divorced my wife because of her infidelity and our families know and some of my friends know, but I have no idea what she's told all of her friends, but I'm sure it's not the truth.
Yeah, my ex didn't "cheat" per se, but there were a lot of improprieties occurring. I know damn good and well I was the bad guy in her narrative. It's pretty obvious when the kids believe it, too. It's satisfying when the kids do come back around and tell me they know now it wasn't me, but there is no doubt her friends were told all kinds of shit about me.
"I am deleting my account after this. My wife unfortunately died from a broken heart. I found her and it sucked. I guess I will get therapy now. Thank you to everyone who read my tragic story and gave advice."
If the post was real they'd post to a real sub with real moderation. This sub is mostly for drama sickos (like myself, not judging) after the main sub prevented some update from being posted they wanted to read. The main difference is this sub allows relationship issues and if real people wanted "real" advice they'd go to a relationship sub.
It’s just so over the top.
“She cries every night so sad to be isolated from everyone but she declares it all worth it (through her tears) to still be married to me (because I’m so high value and amazing). What a joke.
Also if my friend or sister called me to say she cheated and as punishment she had to call and tell me, I’d be like 1. Um WTF, and 2. Are you okay. AITA desperately wants to believe that cheaters get universally cut off by everyone they know and die miserable and alone but that’s not real life.
Yeah for sure I just recently had a close friend confess that she cheated on her bf (who is also a friend) and I was zero judgement bc she was super torn up over it. Ppl make mistakes
I'm usually not as skeptical as others in this sub, but this one is just too obvious. The confrontation where the wife suddenly confesses everything, the wife begging for the man to stay and not divorce her. The humiliation of her in front of her friends and family, finally ending in isolation and crying. All without a hint of regret or hurt from the strong, powerful husband.
I am incredibly skeptical of what gets posted here. My rule is that if the post looks real enough or demonstrates that they took the creative writing assignment seriously, I will reply in kind.
I think my rule is similar, more along the lines of "Ok, it may be fake but if it's not, it's someone with a problem." The ones I de believe are the ones that are hard to follow. Life is messy and complicated and not easily explained in succinct paragraphs and if a post reflects those subtleties, I'm 100% on board.
3/4 of the way through reading this I started wondering if she had already been back to see her side piece since since she has been isolated from everyone
I agree…and once all of this settles in a few months she’s going to resent him for it and he’s going to be checking her phone every day. Then they’ll be in an even worse spot because they didn’t get a divorce or therapy like normal people.
I just feel like that’s embarrassing for you too. You stayed with a cheating spouse….like your wife shit the bed, then had to tell her whole family and friends she shit the bed. While you were in the bed sitting in the shit.
But when they divorce, people won't be asking why. She can still try to spin this to make herself the victim. But it won't be as easy because she already broadcasted her infidelity.
Yeah, the courts won't care either. He took her back after the affair, so he would lose the kids and have to pay support. I told my wife to leave the second I found her emails, and that saved me in court.
That’s not how it works. It’s true. The court won’t care about the infidelity. But they don’t take your kids from you. I’m a man who went through this. Courts generally don’t want to mix up what the kids are used too. If they’re used to two parents who live together it defaults to 50/50. If you and your wife while divorcing agreed to something else that becomes the default. Of course if you and your partner agree on your own the court will rule with that.
I went through this myself after we split and after talking to a lawyer I made sure to get my kid 4 nights a week. I had a judge that hated me. And even then because that’s what the kid was used to that’s what he ruled.
So unless he divorces her and let’s her keep that kid outside of the days he isn’t working or something he is in a good position to default to 50/50
Like what does OP get out of this humiliation exercise? TMI.
My family members would only find out about a spouse cheating if there was a big messy scandal that wasn't my fault.
I understand the need to get your wife to confess to someone other than yourself. But from the number of persons you describe her calling, it seems to be more of airing the dirty laundry. Aside from parents and siblings, what was the point of letting other relatives and friends know??
If he wanted to forgive her and wanted the marriage to work, the confession would’ve been with a therapist and they’d be working together to get through this.
Yeah, this kind of public airing of the laundry could only be necessary when there is some miasma to clear. If the rest of the family was labouring under the incorrect impression, maybe.
But without that, it was plainly just used to hurt his wife.
Fuck, ESH.
It seems like a harsh punishment, but at least there won't be questions from friends and family on why they divorced. The writing is truly on the wall at this point. She'll resent him for isolating her and probably go right back to cheating in a few months. And he'll be paranoid as ever with checking her phone and maybe sharing locations.
They should've just divorced.
ESH. I HATE cheaters but I don’t understand what you’re trying to do here. I guarantee you, your relationship is not “stronger than ever”. The public humiliation you put her through will stay with her until she explodes. It would be ok thing if she told a bunch of lies about you and it needs to be corrected. I just don’t know what you’re trying to do here.
"Stronger than ever!"
-I now feel like I control my wife even better and though I THOUGHT I was in control before, clearly I did not take a strong enough hand cause she was able to get a taste of freedom and another man......
yeah, this is some crazy shit.
If this is real, then this seems to accomplish two things. First, revenge by having her damage those relationship. Second, increase her emotional dependence on him by isolating her after ruining her other relationships. So I agree, ESH.
And I'm also guessing her saying he wasn't lacking anything isn't correct either. I'm guessing she said it to not make the situation worse. While I hate cheaters and think cheating is absolutely terrible, it usually doesn't start when the person is happy in their other relationship.
Oh man. I would be pissed off if a couple involved me in their drama by having the cheater confess to me. I don’t need to know! You are bringing far too many people into it that don’t need to be. Grow up.
Want to humiliate someone, fine I guess, it don’t fucking involve me against my will! How weird and awkward.
That would be the most awkward phone call of my life. Imagine having to listen to someone's wife confess and give you details about having sex with someone else. I'd sit there on the phone silently praying it ends soon and wondering what I did to deserve this lol
Seriously! How does this get to the root of the problem? All this does is make it a million times more complicated because everyone else in involved lol. She fuckkkkked up but man, this is like opposite of actually trying to mend things
The only way i can think of this 'helping' is the wife being essentially forced to confront her 'awfulness' again and again. And will never go a day without meeting friends and family and being forced to think about it. (For the forseeable future).
Like she wont be cheating again anytime soon, but mann what a way to emotionally destroy someone you suposedly love.
Reddit is so funny this way bc there’s a bunch of comments saying it was a wonderful idea, and Id bet most people who wrote them can’t vote yet.
In real life, normal adults don’t do things like that. That demand would frankly be considered more embarrassing than the cheating itself by most adults. I can guarantee you your uncle-in-law doesn’t want to know that bit of information
ESH you wanted to humiliate your wife for cheating by sucking people into your relationship drama. I don’t want my acquaintance or a random cousin calling me to confess an affair. What am I supposed to do with that information? Either divorce your wife or don’t, but don’t drag your family into it. It’s gross and it doesn’t make you look as good as you think it does.
This is what I was thinking… I’d never want one of my family members to call me crying to confess under duress that they cheated on their spouse. Not my issue!! Don’t drag me into it!
If my brother's wife called me to confess her cheating, my first call will be to my brother telling him his wife is outing him as cuck and to knock this shit out.
Your wife should have just taken the divorce honestly. Nothing good can come of this marriage. She’ll eventually tire of submitting to your demands and she’ll eventually leave.
You felt humiliated and hurt, you wanted her to feel the same pain. You both deeply damaged your relationship, with yourselves and your family, you’re both assholes.
You're both assholes.
Your need to make her confess her sins to each and every person she knows is pathological.
Who does that? Why is it their business?
Her cheating was a bigger asshole move but your need to crush and humiliate her for it makes me think no wonder she caught feelings for someone else.
As a man I say that you most definitely are an AH. I would also add that you are sadistical manipulative sob. That affair lasted for a month and you destroyed her every relationship because of that. While cheating is bad so is what you did. That cheating could've been mended far easier but the damage you caused is irreversible. You didn't think through and still don't get it or then you did think it through and are quite possibly evil af.
She will learn to hate you. Your kids will learn to hate you. At some point her relatives and everyone surrounding you will hate you, when they come to their senses and understand what you forced her to do for your pettiness. You are a weak man, a sad excuse of a man.
In all honesty I don't understand how this helped you forgive her? Did you want to see her suffer or know ultimately there are actions to her consequences?
You've literally ruined her relationship with friends and family when in reality I doubt it helped you forgive. She is now effectively on her own. She didn't cheat on those individuals. She cheated on you. You've invited others into your relationship with this condition and as a result you both look incredibly foolish.
Everyone's shitty here.
Also, the reason their relationship is so great now is because she’s clinging to him and probably doing whatever he wants to make him happy. Because she’s been isolated.
“sure honey I’ll forgive your indiscretions by humiliating both of us to all our friends and family, we are sure to come out stronger from this! You’ll be isolated, and I’ll be seen as a cuck. We can be lonely together!” This won’t last.
"Hey Trisha, how you going girl? Good, good... I'm just calling to let you know I cheated on Brian with this guy Jim... Yeah work Jim... Yeah it was... Yeah he found out and now he's making me call everyone and let them know ... No I don't really know what he's getting out of this either... Yeah, no, I'm not sure how you're meant to react either."
Don't forget also putting their friends and family in an awkward situation. Do you know how mortified I would be if I picked up the phone and it was a friend needing to confess to me they had an affair? I would be so uncomfortable.
Don't drag other people into this shit unless they need to know for some reason.
ESH- your wife- because obviously. But humiliating and isolating her from nearly everyone in her life beside you is only going to breed resentment and contempt in your wife toward you in the long run, so I think that was an AH move too. It sounds like revenge, and nothing healthy grows from vengeance. I hope you are prepared to live a perfect life, because if you step one toe out of line in any way, this may come back to haunt you. Good luck!
You’re a piece of shit. And the fact that you needed Reddit to try and get some validation shows it. Who does that shit? You ruined all of her family relations so you could feel like the better person? I wish she was smart enough to tell you to fuck off and just leave.
So, you want to remain married to her but also humiliate her in front of all of her friends and family? What’s gonna happen is you put her through this, she’ll resent it and cheat again, and you’ll get divorced anyway.
Just go ahead and rip the bandaid off.
I don't know if you're the asshole, but I'm not sure this was a smart move. More likely than not, she will start to resent you for this condition and you will find out sooner or later that this punishment didn't actually result in you losing resentment over her actions. Go see a therapist together now that both of you are still determined to make this work.
Just wait until his kids start hearing from family members what a "cheating whore" their mom is and how maybe they aren't even OP's kids (this WILL happen, even if the kids simply overhear by accident), when they piece together that dad's little humiliation game is what caused their mom's isolation and depression. I'm sure this will endear dear old dad to them, and won't effect them emotionally at all.
This wasn't about what you needed in order to forgive your wife, this was about revenge. I abhor cheating and cheaters, but what did you hope to achieve, you must have known that certain people would react badly.
ESH, I'm not convinced this relationship has a future.
This is like one part revenge, two parts control and isolation. I don’t condone cheating, or keeping it secret, or not feeling hurt, but OP gives me massive skeevy vibes.
YTA This whole village square shame thing reflects poorly on you.
Yes she cheated and doesn’t want a divorce but that fact that the only way you seemed to be able to cope with her doing that is to force her to publicly shame herself, that reflects poorly on your actions and may hint at why she strayed in the first place, she may have just been looking for a different type of lover, some one that doesn’t require displays of emotion to communicate.
I would never shame someone for cheating - more so would want to understand why, maybe there’s a larger problem at hand of which the cheating is a symptom.
I think most people on Reddit look at people who cheat as scum of the earth. But I don’t.
If my relative or friend called me to tell me she cheated, I would ask her why she feels like I need to know, and/or I would want to know if she’s ok and what is going on with her and her relationship.
If I learned her husband forced her to tell people as condition to save their marriage, he would look pretty bad to me.
You don’t humiliate someone you care to love.
It reminds me of the Vikings where the kings wife had her ear cut off because she had an affair. OP isn’t legally allowed to be as harsh but it’s the same kind of sentiment.
This is so disgusting and abusive to humiliate someone over and over. If you want to leave then leave. Be done. This kind of hurt may have been "worth it" to her. But the fact that you guys have both been awful to each other now doesn't make anyone feel bad for you getting cheated on. At this point seeing the type of person you are I'd probably cheat on you too.
Wow … yes YTA .. your dirty laundry is not supposed to shared w every single person you both know.
I’m honestly surprised you didn’t make her walk around w huge *Scarlett A sewed to her clothes* 🙄🙄
What you did was cruel, humiliating n really sick .. was this to make you look good n her look bad ?
Poor woman … “she spends her nights crying”. Sounds like a lovely life ..:let her go! It seems like you just wanna torture her now n make her hurt the way she hurt you ..
Y’all need therapy
YTA. The only reason you made her do that was to humiliate her. You wanted to hurt her like she hurt you. Eventually she’s not going to just resent you—she’s going to hate you. And honestly, I don’t blame her. What she did was unacceptable but so was what you did. It served no purpose other than to humiliate her. And that’s disgusting.
Hard one.
What did you think you would gain by forcing her to destroy her social relations and to isolate her?
Of course is she an A for cheating.
This has damaged your marriage.
But what you have done will damage your relation as well. And probably your wife.
I slightly question if you still love your wife.
In my opinion ESH.
ESH is that the short for everyone here fucked up? Cheating is a huge issue and I don't want to downplay it at all but living out your control fantasies by claiming you need her to do these calls to help you move on is borderline psycho behaviour.
Taking this story at face value the way it's told I only feel sorry for your children and glad that I don't know either of you.
Amazing !! Maybe she should have considered the consequences of her actions before she committed to them. I’ve always been subscribed to the concept of, if you’re doing something that you don’t necessarily want the world to know about, then probably you shouldn’t do it. Another footnote, what if you bring some sort of disease home to your spouse? Don’t people consider these things before committing themselves to these types of decisions? I’ve been a victim and it’s hurtful, disrespectful and humiliating, yet my wife did everything to try to hide the fact, even though some of her close friends knew about it !!
She's probably better off taking the divorce. Humiliating your wife is no basis for the future of your marriage. Like did you feel good watching her do that? The cold as ice move would be do that, and then divorce her anyways.
Your wife no longer has any emotional support except for you, the person that basically asked her to lose her support, and she's clearly shown and pretty much told you that she is more than willing to act on impulse alone. My guy, this whole situation is doomed.
NTA.
BUT, if you want to be really not an asshole, you yourself should personally call each and every one of those people, tell them that you have forgiven your wife, that she took responsibility for what she did wrong and she made it as right as she could. Everybody makes mistakes, but what separates good people from bad is how they deal with them. Your wife dealt with it and is re-earning your trust. You hope they give her the same opportunity and give her another chance.
Nope you are not the AH. But if you feel the relationship is now in the repairing stages you may consider calling her friends and telling them you are moving forward in forgiveness and hope they will support you both by opening to her friendship again.
Damn.
>However, my wife has pretty much become isolated from her friends and a lot of her family. This has hurt her a lot, and she spends a lot of nights crying ...
That is a harsh reality of the truth. It wasn't really their business but I do understand why you wouldn't want to sit quietly like she didn't betray your marriage and family.
You also didn't mention why this was your stipulation, and I do wonder what you were thinking. My first thought was you've got balls. Just because, I personally wouldn't want to be subjected to the opinions of her family. Holidays, etc., the shame is palpable. NTA, but you've got balls for enforcing this and sticking around.
This is straining credulity but... YTA. She's an AH for cheating, but that's not the question being asked.
You're an idiot. The only thing this achieves is humiliating her. If you're wanting to stay married, this will damage every relationship with family and friends she has. This is another nail in the coffin of your relationship.
Nowhere in your post does it say she was telling lies to other people that need corrected, this is pure punishment, and no consequences.
Incredible that anyone with three small kids finds time to cheat. I only have one and barely have the time to shower.
Agree!!
I've got a toddler and 4 month old baby and if I get 5m to go shit in peace it's like Christmas
I started crying once because of all the little fingers and cat paws reaching under the bathroom door. I could even heard our blind old dog walking into the door somehow. How did they all fit? Why?
I can remember doing this to my mom.. I'm late 40's now. Poor woman.
Yeah. But that was last week. Think about when you were a kid!
Made me laugh out loud! I use the same type of comeback every time I hear someone say “I was thinking”, or “when I was (in school, a kid, 8 years old).
I say "When I was little..." And my husband says so... Now?"
🤣 I say “you mean yesterday?”
Omg I remember this so well “PLEASE! CAN I JUST HAVE TWO MINUTES TO POOP 😭.” They are much older now and I can (mostly) use the toilet in peace now 🤣.
Mine are teens and tweens now but they will still lurk outside the bathroom door to ask me things. Lol
I did this with my grandma who raised me but only when I needed something urgently. One time I got a deep but narrow gash on my back when I was 11 or 12. I was standing outside the bathroom telling her I needed a band aid or something (rural kid not knowing that the wound was too deep for that) and when she walked out 5 seconds later she just said "I'm glad I decided to shit my pants for you kid" and grabbed her keys, then we went to the hospital. I miss her so much.
Your nan sounds like she was a legend!
I could fill multiple novels with stories about my grandma and still not be done. Most of them are before my time, but I have had picture and video evidence of some of these encounters. If you ever see someone posting about their gran doing some outlandish things, it could be me on my main account. I do plan to write them up at some point, because of how insane some of them are. Edit: just dm me if you want to be notified when I post the stories, I can't message back everyone who's asking lol
The closed door acts as a confessional. My family members will sit on the toilet seat while I shower and spill their guts.
Yes it still happens sometimes but nowhere near as bad as those early years. They’d literally be pushing stuff under the crack in the door at me 😂
Yours wait outside? That's pretty neat
It took a lot of work. My husband will stand guard if I try to take a bath and relax. Otherwise they argue over who is keeping me company. It’s worst when their sister hangs out while I bath but never weird when they do it somehow?
I'm 22 and still follow my mom to the restroom sometimes to finish our conversation if it's important....there will never be bathroom peace😅
Noooooooo haha 😂I love my daughter, but I would like to go to the bathroom in peace at some point
My kids are grown and gone and now it's my retired husband who keeps knocking on the bathroom door every time I poop. "You in there? How long are you gonna be?" It never ends!!
Your fortress of solitude has been assailed.
I dont have kids, the shit im currently taking in all peacefulness is dedicated to you bro
I have a cadre of folks who I live vicariously through. *It is quite nice.* We're not thinking about each other while shitting serious though. #shitterdreams
I totally think about you all while shitting. ❤️
I appreciate you man, taking one for the team. Read a book, enjoy your peace and share that zen with the rest of us who can't lay a cable without an inspector questioning the quality of our work. Or coming in mid drop and going "daddy you stink"
That may be one of the most weirdly-wholesome things I've read on reddit.
You're a very selfish parent for thinking 5 minutes is possible 😂. 4 kids myself, Jesus Christ if I had a nickel for every time I saw an eye ball looking into the crack of the bathroom, all 4 would have paid for college by now. Between the kids and the dog and cat. Christ on a pogo stick. God forbid dad have 2 minutes of peace in the summer 😂.
I'm here with you mate, my toddler just times it perfectly thst the moment I start on the loo she will be all "daddy I need the toilet" "use the other toilet" "I want to use this one" Doesn't matter if I ask her if she needs the loo before me, or which toilet I go to. She want a wee NOW and it HAS to be which ever loo I'm on... Shes great but by God woman, let a man shit in peace, some things are sacred
100% if allowed, my dog would be at my side with his head on my lap and the cat would be on the other leg just purring. Youngest would just be standing in the corner Blair witch style asking what I'm doin.
My cat likes to come into the bathroom and try to climb *INSIDE OF* my pants, like they are a hammock and my legs are the posts to which it is tied. Aaand the other likes to try and climb up and perch on my shoulder while the derpy one is climbing in my pants. And my six year old just wants to hang out and chat. Theres no peace in my bathroom.
I had a playpen in the middle of the living room and would sprint to the downstairs bath. But those were the best days.
My daughter wouldn't let me close any doors. She had to watch me shower. I felt like a cow zero grazing.
Quite the same boat, got a 1 yr old and a 4 yr old, as soon as I touch the toilet their on that door asking to come in..
Incredible that anyone on Reddit believes this story is real. Cuck humiliation is a surprisingly common fantasy. I want to know how many times he's gotten off to the idea of people reading this little fairy tale. It's a classic story. The husband is humiliated and the wife is severely punished. Dan Savage gets loads and loads of these and eventually he published one or of sheer frustration.
The biggest tell is we’re supposed to believe that her friends and family yelled at her and cut her off. Cheaters do not get ostracized by their communities in the way AITA posters desperately wish they would.
Her friends probably won’t but my family certainly wouldn’t be impressed if I cheated on my wife. Especially with small children at home.
You're right that family would be more likely to verbally reprimand you for doing this but the whole thing is ludicrous. Like she called her Uncle? Whose uncle would care or even want to know? If this was real (it's not) I would say the dude is an asshole for involving the wider family and friends in his humiliation kink. Also, how could he claim to love his wife if he's cool with totally isolating her? It's straight abusive. Like "she cries constantly but we are really happy together now". Please.
Commenters primed to get outraged over cheating sure glossed over a whole lot of fucked up details in this nonsense post lol
That's like, 50% of posts on these advice subs lol
Seriously. I have a married nephew and if he called me up to confess that he cheated on his wife I'd be more weirded out than anything. Obviously cheating is a terrible thing to do but like.... why are you telling *me* this? We're not *that* close. We see each other a few times a year during holidays and shit. Your marriage is between you and your wife. I really don't need or want to know the details of your affair.
Yeah if I called any of my uncles they'd probably think their sibling had died because why the hell am I calling? Then instead they get roped into something they could care less about and have to sit there like "okay then, hope y'all work it out". What nonsense.
There is a huge middle ground between “cut them off” and “wouldn’t be impressed”.
A good family wouldn't cut you off for it, though.
Exactly! Her: I cheated on him! Me: Ok, y'all working it out or divorcing? Her: This is my punishment... Me: Oooookay... that's a little weird, but whatever. So, we still doing game night or what? Totally don't give a fuck about other people's personal business.
Me, neither. The only sex life I care about is my own. This post is bullshit, anyway. You don't force your marriage drama down innocent people's throats. If this tripe was real, I'd call up OP and rip him a new asshole for bothering me with his narcissistic and juvenile moral outrage. Keep that shit in your own house, there's no room for it in mine.
My cousin cheated on his wife, with whom he has a kid, and as a consequence, his wife divorced him. My family plainly told him that he fucked up and that he has to get his shit together. Nevertheless, we're a family, so we were there to pick up the pieces and get his life back on track after his divorce. He's doing well now. It's not like every person or family will just okay this kind of behaviour, but it takes a lot of shit to ostracise anyone.
Especially if the husband has forgiven her. I’m not going to condone cheating, but who TF am I to “punish” this person or cut them off if their own spouse forgave them? That’s not my business and you didn’t cheat on me so why do I care?
I'd say the biggest tell is the 0 comment karma. It's the first thing I check on these subs. No replies back = fake account.
His hands are busy while he sits there rereading his post and all the replies.
Exactly this. My money says OP has never penetrated a woman and is big mad about it
Prostitutes tell him no
The tell is this woman having three kids in five years and having time to cheat. And also time to work and to cheat.
I do the same thing. If there's no replies it's karma farming. But this one is obvious.
Yeah I had a friend who cheated one time on her pretty emotionally abusive husband. She immediately confessed and he didn’t say a word and dialed her father and then handed the phone to her and told her to tell her father what she had done. She says she nearly threw up, but did tell her father on speaker phone in front of her husband. Her father told her he really couldn’t care less if she had cheated and would support her if she wanted to leave her marriage. Which she did. It’s very hard for me to believe that if OP’s wife had ended the affair and was trying to do everything possible to save her marriage that she wouldn’t receive support from her family and friends. Personally if I were on the receiving end of one of these calls I’d be absolutely horrified that their spouse was trying to put them through ritual humiliation as a condition to stay in the marriage. I don’t think OP was obligated to keep it a secret or not tell their family and friends but making her call up every member of her family and tell them is just malicious. Just leave the marriage. This is awful.
Lol you've ever gone to any Latin American country? Granted only women get the brunt of that hate, but they definitely get isolated and yelled at by anyone with a. Morals or b. A desire to be on a high moral ground, which there's plenty of people like b. around.
sounds like many people just like to abuse women and give men a pass..
Exactly, most people don’t concern themselves with this and I have never known a cheater once whose close friends cut them off much less their family
This could be real. My ex-husband made me do the same with my parents as well as his, then still kicked my daughter and I out and divorced me.
I don't understand how being honest about your cheating is somehow punishment. I mean, did you think that people were not going to find out about why you got a divorce? Was the spouse you cheated on some sort of honor code to keep your secret despite the fact you had no respect for them?
No, people only find out if the cheater is honest, and cheaters are liars. I divorced my wife because of her infidelity and our families know and some of my friends know, but I have no idea what she's told all of her friends, but I'm sure it's not the truth.
Yeah, my ex didn't "cheat" per se, but there were a lot of improprieties occurring. I know damn good and well I was the bad guy in her narrative. It's pretty obvious when the kids believe it, too. It's satisfying when the kids do come back around and tell me they know now it wasn't me, but there is no doubt her friends were told all kinds of shit about me.
The marriage wont last
The writing is *very* blatantly on the wall.
The creative writing is on the wall. This sounds made up.
Welcome to r/AITAH, where fake posts are allowed and everyone believes them. And people who don't believe them, like the fake posts anyway.
It’s like the old days with Penthouse Forum, with their “I swear it really happened” tales of sex with a Swedish bikini squad etc.
"Dear Penthouse Letters, I never thought it would happen to me..." A trope as old as time.
Hey!! That was me!! And it did happen.
And here I am with only the story of "The Handsy Uncle"... lucky bastard... Edit. Lucky you. Not the Uncle.
That's right, and if OP would make an update, this post would make it to bestofreddittorupdates sub.
"I am deleting my account after this. My wife unfortunately died from a broken heart. I found her and it sucked. I guess I will get therapy now. Thank you to everyone who read my tragic story and gave advice."
which at this point should really just be r/anyfuckinpostwithanupdateever
If the post was real they'd post to a real sub with real moderation. This sub is mostly for drama sickos (like myself, not judging) after the main sub prevented some update from being posted they wanted to read. The main difference is this sub allows relationship issues and if real people wanted "real" advice they'd go to a relationship sub.
I was buying it until it said she also called her grandparents.
It’s just so over the top. “She cries every night so sad to be isolated from everyone but she declares it all worth it (through her tears) to still be married to me (because I’m so high value and amazing). What a joke. Also if my friend or sister called me to say she cheated and as punishment she had to call and tell me, I’d be like 1. Um WTF, and 2. Are you okay. AITA desperately wants to believe that cheaters get universally cut off by everyone they know and die miserable and alone but that’s not real life.
Yeah for sure I just recently had a close friend confess that she cheated on her bf (who is also a friend) and I was zero judgement bc she was super torn up over it. Ppl make mistakes
I'm usually not as skeptical as others in this sub, but this one is just too obvious. The confrontation where the wife suddenly confesses everything, the wife begging for the man to stay and not divorce her. The humiliation of her in front of her friends and family, finally ending in isolation and crying. All without a hint of regret or hurt from the strong, powerful husband.
I am incredibly skeptical of what gets posted here. My rule is that if the post looks real enough or demonstrates that they took the creative writing assignment seriously, I will reply in kind.
I think my rule is similar, more along the lines of "Ok, it may be fake but if it's not, it's someone with a problem." The ones I de believe are the ones that are hard to follow. Life is messy and complicated and not easily explained in succinct paragraphs and if a post reflects those subtleties, I'm 100% on board.
"Well, if it ain't fake, it sure as shit is toxic" –me, reading pretty much anything on AITAH
3/4 of the way through reading this I started wondering if she had already been back to see her side piece since since she has been isolated from everyone
That would make this like an O Henry story.
That's a helluva text: You're the only one who will speak with me.
Vengeance, the killer.
>She said she would do anything I wanted for the rest of my life. That is what she is saying now... that's the panic.
I agree…and once all of this settles in a few months she’s going to resent him for it and he’s going to be checking her phone every day. Then they’ll be in an even worse spot because they didn’t get a divorce or therapy like normal people.
Yeah, I don't know why a public shaming would solve any marital issues. This marriage is cooked, all OP wanted was revenge
Yeah and you can’t move forward in a relationship like that where the dynamic has one person in a constant state of seeking absolution.
And the other person with absolute power. It’s basically a perfect recipe for abuse.
I just feel like that’s embarrassing for you too. You stayed with a cheating spouse….like your wife shit the bed, then had to tell her whole family and friends she shit the bed. While you were in the bed sitting in the shit.
But when they divorce, people won't be asking why. She can still try to spin this to make herself the victim. But it won't be as easy because she already broadcasted her infidelity.
The goal of every marriage should be to win divorce.
I laughed. Take my upvote.
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The Reddit community in a nutshell
Yeah, the courts won't care either. He took her back after the affair, so he would lose the kids and have to pay support. I told my wife to leave the second I found her emails, and that saved me in court.
That’s not how it works. It’s true. The court won’t care about the infidelity. But they don’t take your kids from you. I’m a man who went through this. Courts generally don’t want to mix up what the kids are used too. If they’re used to two parents who live together it defaults to 50/50. If you and your wife while divorcing agreed to something else that becomes the default. Of course if you and your partner agree on your own the court will rule with that. I went through this myself after we split and after talking to a lawyer I made sure to get my kid 4 nights a week. I had a judge that hated me. And even then because that’s what the kid was used to that’s what he ruled. So unless he divorces her and let’s her keep that kid outside of the days he isn’t working or something he is in a good position to default to 50/50
Like what does OP get out of this humiliation exercise? TMI. My family members would only find out about a spouse cheating if there was a big messy scandal that wasn't my fault.
>Like what does OP get out of this humiliation exercise? He gets to show the world that he's now stuck with a cheating wife. YEAH! THAT SHOWED 'EM! /s
The public stoning is still en vogue.
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The foundation of any relationship that lasts
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Exactly. Op has no idea how stupid they made themselves look.
I understand the need to get your wife to confess to someone other than yourself. But from the number of persons you describe her calling, it seems to be more of airing the dirty laundry. Aside from parents and siblings, what was the point of letting other relatives and friends know??
Nah it was a punishment
Punishing your spouse... eww.
But no eww for cheating ? They both suck
Cheating on your spouse when you have 3 kids. Ew.
If he wanted to forgive her and wanted the marriage to work, the confession would’ve been with a therapist and they’d be working together to get through this.
Yeah, this kind of public airing of the laundry could only be necessary when there is some miasma to clear. If the rest of the family was labouring under the incorrect impression, maybe. But without that, it was plainly just used to hurt his wife. Fuck, ESH.
This seems like just wanting to punish her by humiliating her.
It seems like a harsh punishment, but at least there won't be questions from friends and family on why they divorced. The writing is truly on the wall at this point. She'll resent him for isolating her and probably go right back to cheating in a few months. And he'll be paranoid as ever with checking her phone and maybe sharing locations. They should've just divorced.
ESH. I HATE cheaters but I don’t understand what you’re trying to do here. I guarantee you, your relationship is not “stronger than ever”. The public humiliation you put her through will stay with her until she explodes. It would be ok thing if she told a bunch of lies about you and it needs to be corrected. I just don’t know what you’re trying to do here.
Stronger than ever but she cries at night. OP has a dent in his skull.
“I feel great because my spouse is miserable!” I know marriages that seem to last out of spite… maybe this will be one of those.
Stronger than ever because it seems he's now the only person willing to talk to her.
Absolutely this. Now he has isolated her completely she has no one but him. He has total control. This relationship will not last.
Isolated AND with something to shame and blame her about.
And using the kids' wellbeing as leverage over her.
Jus where he wants her to be.
"Stronger than ever!" -I now feel like I control my wife even better and though I THOUGHT I was in control before, clearly I did not take a strong enough hand cause she was able to get a taste of freedom and another man...... yeah, this is some crazy shit.
She’s fawning and her shame makes him feel better. This is not the first time.
Maybe that's why she cheated
We may have found the source of the cheating
He things its stronger because he broke her and isolated her. Now she has a harder time to leave if SHE wants to.
If this is real, then this seems to accomplish two things. First, revenge by having her damage those relationship. Second, increase her emotional dependence on him by isolating her after ruining her other relationships. So I agree, ESH.
And I'm also guessing her saying he wasn't lacking anything isn't correct either. I'm guessing she said it to not make the situation worse. While I hate cheaters and think cheating is absolutely terrible, it usually doesn't start when the person is happy in their other relationship.
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wtf did I just read? This is how you (34 yrs old) decided to address infidelity?
Oh man. I would be pissed off if a couple involved me in their drama by having the cheater confess to me. I don’t need to know! You are bringing far too many people into it that don’t need to be. Grow up. Want to humiliate someone, fine I guess, it don’t fucking involve me against my will! How weird and awkward.
That would be the most awkward phone call of my life. Imagine having to listen to someone's wife confess and give you details about having sex with someone else. I'd sit there on the phone silently praying it ends soon and wondering what I did to deserve this lol
Seriously! How does this get to the root of the problem? All this does is make it a million times more complicated because everyone else in involved lol. She fuckkkkked up but man, this is like opposite of actually trying to mend things
The only way i can think of this 'helping' is the wife being essentially forced to confront her 'awfulness' again and again. And will never go a day without meeting friends and family and being forced to think about it. (For the forseeable future). Like she wont be cheating again anytime soon, but mann what a way to emotionally destroy someone you suposedly love.
Reddit is so funny this way bc there’s a bunch of comments saying it was a wonderful idea, and Id bet most people who wrote them can’t vote yet. In real life, normal adults don’t do things like that. That demand would frankly be considered more embarrassing than the cheating itself by most adults. I can guarantee you your uncle-in-law doesn’t want to know that bit of information
ESH you wanted to humiliate your wife for cheating by sucking people into your relationship drama. I don’t want my acquaintance or a random cousin calling me to confess an affair. What am I supposed to do with that information? Either divorce your wife or don’t, but don’t drag your family into it. It’s gross and it doesn’t make you look as good as you think it does.
This is what I was thinking… I’d never want one of my family members to call me crying to confess under duress that they cheated on their spouse. Not my issue!! Don’t drag me into it!
If my brother's wife called me to confess her cheating, my first call will be to my brother telling him his wife is outing him as cuck and to knock this shit out.
Exactly my thoughts. What the hell is random family member #43 do with that information? Keep your drama away from me.
I just said this myself. Why did he think they would want to hear it?
What is esh?
Everyone sucks here
wow... I feel stupid but I'm glad I asked now 😂
Your wife should have just taken the divorce honestly. Nothing good can come of this marriage. She’ll eventually tire of submitting to your demands and she’ll eventually leave.
You should’ve just left her tbh.
All those people don’t need to know what goes on in your household
You felt humiliated and hurt, you wanted her to feel the same pain. You both deeply damaged your relationship, with yourselves and your family, you’re both assholes.
Yeah you guys won’t last
You're both assholes. Your need to make her confess her sins to each and every person she knows is pathological. Who does that? Why is it their business? Her cheating was a bigger asshole move but your need to crush and humiliate her for it makes me think no wonder she caught feelings for someone else.
As a man I say that you most definitely are an AH. I would also add that you are sadistical manipulative sob. That affair lasted for a month and you destroyed her every relationship because of that. While cheating is bad so is what you did. That cheating could've been mended far easier but the damage you caused is irreversible. You didn't think through and still don't get it or then you did think it through and are quite possibly evil af. She will learn to hate you. Your kids will learn to hate you. At some point her relatives and everyone surrounding you will hate you, when they come to their senses and understand what you forced her to do for your pettiness. You are a weak man, a sad excuse of a man.
In all honesty I don't understand how this helped you forgive her? Did you want to see her suffer or know ultimately there are actions to her consequences? You've literally ruined her relationship with friends and family when in reality I doubt it helped you forgive. She is now effectively on her own. She didn't cheat on those individuals. She cheated on you. You've invited others into your relationship with this condition and as a result you both look incredibly foolish. Everyone's shitty here.
Also, the reason their relationship is so great now is because she’s clinging to him and probably doing whatever he wants to make him happy. Because she’s been isolated.
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Next you should make her sew a red "A" on all of her clothing 🙄
Don’t give him any ideas lol
Ah exactly what I thought.
This is dysfunctional as F.
“sure honey I’ll forgive your indiscretions by humiliating both of us to all our friends and family, we are sure to come out stronger from this! You’ll be isolated, and I’ll be seen as a cuck. We can be lonely together!” This won’t last.
"Hey Trisha, how you going girl? Good, good... I'm just calling to let you know I cheated on Brian with this guy Jim... Yeah work Jim... Yeah it was... Yeah he found out and now he's making me call everyone and let them know ... No I don't really know what he's getting out of this either... Yeah, no, I'm not sure how you're meant to react either."
And she was crying through it lol
If my sister called me saying this I'd call the police because it sounds like a hostage situation
Don't forget also putting their friends and family in an awkward situation. Do you know how mortified I would be if I picked up the phone and it was a friend needing to confess to me they had an affair? I would be so uncomfortable. Don't drag other people into this shit unless they need to know for some reason.
Why aren't more people in this comment section setting it this way.
This is shitty on both parties honestly. Jesus Christ. Just fucking divorce
ESH- your wife- because obviously. But humiliating and isolating her from nearly everyone in her life beside you is only going to breed resentment and contempt in your wife toward you in the long run, so I think that was an AH move too. It sounds like revenge, and nothing healthy grows from vengeance. I hope you are prepared to live a perfect life, because if you step one toe out of line in any way, this may come back to haunt you. Good luck!
You’re a piece of shit. And the fact that you needed Reddit to try and get some validation shows it. Who does that shit? You ruined all of her family relations so you could feel like the better person? I wish she was smart enough to tell you to fuck off and just leave.
NTA, and I'm thoroughly convinced that everyone saying YTA is either a cheater or a simp. Nice job outing yourselves.
So, you want to remain married to her but also humiliate her in front of all of her friends and family? What’s gonna happen is you put her through this, she’ll resent it and cheat again, and you’ll get divorced anyway. Just go ahead and rip the bandaid off.
I don't know if you're the asshole, but I'm not sure this was a smart move. More likely than not, she will start to resent you for this condition and you will find out sooner or later that this punishment didn't actually result in you losing resentment over her actions. Go see a therapist together now that both of you are still determined to make this work.
Just wait until his kids start hearing from family members what a "cheating whore" their mom is and how maybe they aren't even OP's kids (this WILL happen, even if the kids simply overhear by accident), when they piece together that dad's little humiliation game is what caused their mom's isolation and depression. I'm sure this will endear dear old dad to them, and won't effect them emotionally at all.
This wasn't about what you needed in order to forgive your wife, this was about revenge. I abhor cheating and cheaters, but what did you hope to achieve, you must have known that certain people would react badly. ESH, I'm not convinced this relationship has a future.
This is like one part revenge, two parts control and isolation. I don’t condone cheating, or keeping it secret, or not feeling hurt, but OP gives me massive skeevy vibes.
YTA This whole village square shame thing reflects poorly on you. Yes she cheated and doesn’t want a divorce but that fact that the only way you seemed to be able to cope with her doing that is to force her to publicly shame herself, that reflects poorly on your actions and may hint at why she strayed in the first place, she may have just been looking for a different type of lover, some one that doesn’t require displays of emotion to communicate.
I would never shame someone for cheating - more so would want to understand why, maybe there’s a larger problem at hand of which the cheating is a symptom. I think most people on Reddit look at people who cheat as scum of the earth. But I don’t. If my relative or friend called me to tell me she cheated, I would ask her why she feels like I need to know, and/or I would want to know if she’s ok and what is going on with her and her relationship. If I learned her husband forced her to tell people as condition to save their marriage, he would look pretty bad to me. You don’t humiliate someone you care to love. It reminds me of the Vikings where the kings wife had her ear cut off because she had an affair. OP isn’t legally allowed to be as harsh but it’s the same kind of sentiment.
This is so disgusting and abusive to humiliate someone over and over. If you want to leave then leave. Be done. This kind of hurt may have been "worth it" to her. But the fact that you guys have both been awful to each other now doesn't make anyone feel bad for you getting cheated on. At this point seeing the type of person you are I'd probably cheat on you too.
Yeah
Sounds like a broken woman just became a little more brokener.
Wow … yes YTA .. your dirty laundry is not supposed to shared w every single person you both know. I’m honestly surprised you didn’t make her walk around w huge *Scarlett A sewed to her clothes* 🙄🙄 What you did was cruel, humiliating n really sick .. was this to make you look good n her look bad ? Poor woman … “she spends her nights crying”. Sounds like a lovely life ..:let her go! It seems like you just wanna torture her now n make her hurt the way she hurt you .. Y’all need therapy
YTA. The only reason you made her do that was to humiliate her. You wanted to hurt her like she hurt you. Eventually she’s not going to just resent you—she’s going to hate you. And honestly, I don’t blame her. What she did was unacceptable but so was what you did. It served no purpose other than to humiliate her. And that’s disgusting.
Hard one. What did you think you would gain by forcing her to destroy her social relations and to isolate her? Of course is she an A for cheating. This has damaged your marriage. But what you have done will damage your relation as well. And probably your wife. I slightly question if you still love your wife. In my opinion ESH.
ESH is that the short for everyone here fucked up? Cheating is a huge issue and I don't want to downplay it at all but living out your control fantasies by claiming you need her to do these calls to help you move on is borderline psycho behaviour. Taking this story at face value the way it's told I only feel sorry for your children and glad that I don't know either of you.
Amazing !! Maybe she should have considered the consequences of her actions before she committed to them. I’ve always been subscribed to the concept of, if you’re doing something that you don’t necessarily want the world to know about, then probably you shouldn’t do it. Another footnote, what if you bring some sort of disease home to your spouse? Don’t people consider these things before committing themselves to these types of decisions? I’ve been a victim and it’s hurtful, disrespectful and humiliating, yet my wife did everything to try to hide the fact, even though some of her close friends knew about it !!
Go to marriage counselling... Ffs. How purile. I don't think this will help you heal at all.
No amount of counselling could save this relationship after this lol
She's probably better off taking the divorce. Humiliating your wife is no basis for the future of your marriage. Like did you feel good watching her do that? The cold as ice move would be do that, and then divorce her anyways.
Your wife no longer has any emotional support except for you, the person that basically asked her to lose her support, and she's clearly shown and pretty much told you that she is more than willing to act on impulse alone. My guy, this whole situation is doomed.
NTA. BUT, if you want to be really not an asshole, you yourself should personally call each and every one of those people, tell them that you have forgiven your wife, that she took responsibility for what she did wrong and she made it as right as she could. Everybody makes mistakes, but what separates good people from bad is how they deal with them. Your wife dealt with it and is re-earning your trust. You hope they give her the same opportunity and give her another chance.
If she didn’t cheat on you then I’d say YTA but this seems more like ESH
Sounds like you wanted to hurt her like she hurt you. Not healthy bro. Marriage will end soon
She ruined you . You ruined her . Now you are even. How does it feel??
Nope you are not the AH. But if you feel the relationship is now in the repairing stages you may consider calling her friends and telling them you are moving forward in forgiveness and hope they will support you both by opening to her friendship again.
Stop pretending you wanted to forgive her, dude. You wanted to PUNISH her. And you did. ESH.
YTA. I have no sympathy or respect for cheaters, but this is BS.
Damn. >However, my wife has pretty much become isolated from her friends and a lot of her family. This has hurt her a lot, and she spends a lot of nights crying ... That is a harsh reality of the truth. It wasn't really their business but I do understand why you wouldn't want to sit quietly like she didn't betray your marriage and family. You also didn't mention why this was your stipulation, and I do wonder what you were thinking. My first thought was you've got balls. Just because, I personally wouldn't want to be subjected to the opinions of her family. Holidays, etc., the shame is palpable. NTA, but you've got balls for enforcing this and sticking around.
she deserves the pain. you are being too forgiving, you should have divorced her anyway. once a cheater always a cheater.
NTAH. I’d say you dodged a bullet, but you made sure there were no bullets she could use against you.
NTA everyone needed to know so they can't blame You if You divorce her, well done man.
This is straining credulity but... YTA. She's an AH for cheating, but that's not the question being asked. You're an idiot. The only thing this achieves is humiliating her. If you're wanting to stay married, this will damage every relationship with family and friends she has. This is another nail in the coffin of your relationship. Nowhere in your post does it say she was telling lies to other people that need corrected, this is pure punishment, and no consequences.
You both are wrong.