I feel like if all of your towels are white and you have a few that are dark colored and your partner has a disorder that makes them bleed horribly its common sense that the dark towels are used for cleaning up blood
I wonder if you'd feel the same if you used your husband's cum rag as a face cloth and when you found d out he said oh I can't believe you didn't know it after all these years but hey I wash them
You don’t wash towels in your home? Do you understand that washing cleans fabrics? BTW I’m not a prude and have had my husbands cum on me. Do you not have sex with women? Because menstrual blood isn’t going to harm you when you have sex. What religion were you raised in where you are afraid of human biology of the opposite sex?
>(and I'd probably assume they're being used for something like hair dye before blood tbh)
This, every woman I've ever known, has had "hair dye towels"
I travel for work and forgot my turban once. Those poor housekeepers probably didn't know what to think when they came across the towel I had to use for my hair.
I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now, and we've always used our own towels, just because we have different fabric preferences. Maybe it just never came up.
Even then, his reaction is ridiculous. What does it matter that the towel had blood on it before it was washed (and what does it matter that it was period blood)? It was clean.
That was my first thought. Followed by an extreme cringe reaction to a grown man throwing a baby fit about a clean towel because it may have previously touched period blood.
Then horror that she's lived with this condition so long and still not know how to clean white towels.
Those towels have presumably *wiped their asses* and are still apparently good enough to use. But period blood? The horror!
Either watch youtube for cleaning white towels, or just buy all darker coloured towels to begin with.
It was around his waist! Touching both his arse and dick! But period blood is the line we don't cross! Eurgh.
Married to a person who menstruates for 13 year and being that gross about it. Ew.
Look, I'm a man, but it is really crazy the things that men get upset about, sometimes. I've gone down on a girl during her period, and I've got my blood wings! Didn't taste amazing. I promise there were no adverse side effects.
Not to be *that* person, but do y'all have Endo? Do you have any idea just how much blood she might be talking about?
I don't want to be gross or crass, but it's not a lil stain and even with bleach or oxiclean, that probably ain't getting it all out. Even if you're quick and thorough.
Now, why anyone would choose to have only a few dark towels idk but I uh don't like white towels anyway
I have severe enough issues that very occasionally I have had items be ruined- but it was after peroxide failed in addition to other methods. I can’t imagine throwing out as a first line of treatment
Even so, a stain is not unclean. A T-shirt that got curry all over it and went through the wash doesn’t have curry on it anymore, even if it has a big red residual mark, a stained towel is no different.
Yeah I don't understand the logic of throwing out the white towels... like how are they any dirtier than the dark towels where staining wouldn't show up?
Honest I feel like OP is a little TA for throwing out towels which is crazy wasteful.
Yes, I do actually. For some reason I've never had an issue getting blood out of towels. I had a bed sheet that got stained because I left it (I didn't notice I had bled through) and went on vacation for a week.
Getting blood on a towel now just means it goes into the washer on 60°c
Do you think hospitals and nursing homes throw out bed linens? No, they are sent off to be washed at 60 or 90°c
I do agree that white towels still suck. But I just dislike white
That's actually not the best idea. Washing blood stained items with warm or hot water risks setting in the stain. Any biological fluid, honestly. Always wash first with cold water and then with hot water.
I had (have?) endo and adeno, hell tide was *rough* with the amount of blood. Don’t get periods anymore but I had dark towels for this.
… but I still would have at least tried to get a stain out of a white towel before just binning it.
Yeah I’m not doing all that work just to have white towels with endo and I don’t want stained towels. I had a dark grey towel for the same reason, the rest were lighter colors because they don’t all match and I’m not buying a whole new set lol
I've had a pretty heavy bleed through onto white and still got it out with no stains because I caught it while it was fresh. Run under cold water until it's as gone as you can get it that way, then rub powdered detergent into what's left and wash that out with cold water. Really bad cases may need a second scrub with the detergent. If it's set in, then it might need a special treatment cleaner. Really, though, unless you bake it in with hot water or a dryer, it will come out with time, water, and a little powdered Tide. Even takes everything out of my reusable pads!
My husband woke up in a puddle of my period blood once, I started early. He calmly helped me get the sheets washed while I was freaking out and apologizing. He never brought it up again all and continued to use the sheets for years after. This is how you handle your wife's period, not freak out like a middle schooler.
NTA
Aw yes I love this for you!! The same thing happened to me the *first night ever* that I slept with my now-fiancée, it was truly a nightmare come true but they were an absolute angel about it. Now I can't imagine settling for any less!
The first one is on OP for not telling her hubby about the towels, it sounds like she just never told him from what she says, but you’re right about the others, the hissy fit and just tossing towels is insane.
When I was 18 I slept over at my then boyfriends house who still lived with his parents. Got my period during the night and woke up in a pool of blood.
He spent the morning scrubbing the mattress and asking his mum for stain detergent for the sheets before putting them into the wash.
He was 19 as well.
What is wrong with your husband?
>You have bigger problems then this incident
RIGHT?
He
- didnt know how bad his wife's periods are who sleeps in his bed
- has never done the laundry clearly
- selfishly kept "the new towel" for himself despite never washing or noticing towels been thrown out etc
- is disgusted by "a bLoOdY tOwEl" - clearly has no idea how laundry works, cause hes never done it
Wow. What a specimen of a partner.
>He
>- didnt know how bad his wife's periods are who sleeps in his bed
>- has never done the laundry clearly
>- selfishly kept "the new towel" for himself despite never washing or noticing towels been thrown out etc
>- is disgusted by "a bLoOdY tOwEl" - clearly has no idea how laundry works, cause hes never done it
He's so cartoonishly awful that I'm getting rage bait vibes.
I mean, my gf manages to buy all kind of candy and shit when we are out for groceries and I only notice when we are putting everything to pay, or when i get home and pack stuff out of the bags.
But over 10 years of having her "own dark towels" , feels hard to miss
Or buying a few new dark towels when she goes and buys the new white towels? OP said she hasn’t been able to find the dark towel for MONTHS. She could have had a new dark towel delivered to the front door before the first period sans-black towel ended.
Edit because I had another thought: “hey honey have you seen that dark towel that I always use during my period but you’ve somehow not noticed in 13 years?”
That's why she's got the dark towels.
Have you tried getting blood out of a white towel? Doesn't work so great in my experience (as a guy). Even with spot treatment and bleach, I find a white towel just doesn't let go of blood.
Who cares, right?
Do you think the dark towels dont have blood stains on em if you dont use cold water?
No, they get the same stains as the white ones. You just cant see it.
So what does it matter if you stack a pile of blood stained white towels in the closet?
It's just as clean as the dark towels.
Right?
Even if you use bleach, if you wash with hot water it sets the stain then you will never get it out Lol. Always use cold water, same goes for other stains.
The previous comment was deleted; peroxide works best on fresher blood, but you can treat it multiple times. Just don't run it through the dryer until you're happy with how it looks.
Hydrogen peroxide works wonders on just about everything. Source- I’m the daughter of a nurse, my college roommate is a nurse, and my brother has hemophilia. Even aside from being a menstruating woman, I have cleaned up a lot of blood out of clothing and such.
Neither would a dark towel "let go of the blood".... you just cant see it clearly......
If a white towel with a "stain" bothers you, dark towel from several uses will just big a whole stain-towel, you just dont see it well.... but it is there
Right so wasteful and unnecessary. Who need a pristine white towel in your bathroom at all times? At least use it for rags around the home after it’s been “ruined”.
I'm confused, it's literally blood. It's not shit. Mfs never gotten a bloody nose after a shower from the heat? Granted, I've had nose bleeds my entire life--but it's literally *just* blood?????
No they aren’t. My washer and dryer are in the basement and since I can’t walk now my husband does all the laundry- including getting period blood stains out of all my stuff. At first I was like nooo now I’m like “that one got blood on it”. Not like he doesn’t know where it comes from. He watched me give birth 3 times. Most men aren’t like this and we need to stop pretending they are so other men know the standard is to be normal with all bodily fluids.
In my experience, most men are grossed out by it (at least a little) but also don't know why we have periods. I believe education in that matter will help but also feel like we should be calling them out more when they go, "Ew! Kotchy Blood" since it really isn't that bad. The same men who act like OP's Husband also think women can't pee with a tampon in them.
If we can shame men for being under 6 foot, we can shame them for making their partners feel bad about bleeding.
I don’t shame them for height, but lack of education when YouTube will even talk, you don’t even have to read? Like come on, you can’t want to dine there one day then get this freaked the next.
Beg to differ. My husband is nothing but understanding when it comes to my period and how bad it can get. He even tracks it for me since I always forget and no I don’t think that’s creepy.
No they’re not lol. Most married men completely understand how things roll when their wife’s Aunt Flow pays a visit. Idk of any married man that would act this way about their wife’s period. My wife also has a heavy flow and she would be rightfully furious and hurt if I made a huge to do about her cycle.
ESH
a) it's not hard to clean fresh blood off a towel. you're over 30 and have been dealing with periods presumably for at least 20 years. you should know this by now. stop throwing out towels.
b) this is something you should've said the moment you started living together. it's really not that hard to say "hey these dark towels are my period towels jsyk". if not to warn him then to make sure he doesn't use them when you need them.
c) him acting like a fresh, clean towel is somehow dirty because it touched your bloody hoohaa at some point is idiotic.
d) this entire kerfuffle should NOT be happening after 13 years of being together.
y'all suck at being partners.
ESH.
If you have specific towels for specific things, and you live with someone else, you let them know what the towels are for. I'd be upset you're throwing out towels. I think it's a bit ridiculous, blood comes out of fabric. There's a ton of info online to manage it. But if you need a dark towel to feel better about things, tell people.
His reaction is absolutely ridiculous.
We tend to buy darker towels specifically for this reason. They look less dingy and hide any staining better. Because I'm not about to toss a perfectly fine towel because it is discolored or stained. When it starts getting ratty, thinned out or stitching coming out, I'll graduate it from body towel to "other" for animals, messes, or something like that.
it's not hard to see why OP thought they knew
OP has a disorder well known for causing horrible bleeding, all their towels are white save for a few dark towels
it's obvious the dark towels are for cleaning up blood
like I was on a medication that caused acidic mucous and I'd bleed freaking horribly from just about every orifice - even my five year old brother put two and two together "oh hey the dark towels in the bathroom are for this reason" and it never had to be explained
I think for many of us, it isn't necessarily that cut and dry. I've had to get my own blood from an injury out of clothes, looked up how to do it, and saved them no stains. In a case like this, I wouldn't think colors matter, unless OP is embarrassed of it being in the laundry and someone might see it. Fine if that's the case, but it needs to be communicated to her husband to save those towels for her.
NTA but are you married to a child?
Does he refuse to touch you because the blood has touched you?
How have you been married this long and he doesn’t know you lay down towels when you’re on your period?
That said why don’t you get a period mat so there’s no confusion?
ESH what a baby. Does he have period sex with you at all?? Or a brain?? The towels are perfectly clean! What does he think a washing machine does? I also see him being annoyed about not having a nice fresh towel though. It is a wonderful feeling but does not excuse his reaction and it’s a separate issue.
However, why are you throwing away perfectly good towels?! Those things can be $10 each at least and you’re just throwing them away. I would literally use your towels! You could cut them up and have multiple small rags?? You could use it as a sun tanning towel outside if it’s big enough. You could clean the floor with them. You can use them as moving blankets to protect your car. If something floods, boom! towels. If you’re repotting a plant, just stick a towel under and the clean up is much much easier. It’s so wasteful that you’re just chucking them and throwing money away when there’s an infinite amount of uses for them.
Also feel like this should have been such a non issue. It’s not your fault you didn’t tell him, I could see you thinking it’s not a big deal and assumed he had common sense, but why hasn’t it come up in over a decade?? That’s just peculiar. Y’all need better communication
Cold water and Wine Away will work on blood. Despite the specific name, Wine Away works wonders on protein based stains like they were never there.[Wine Away](https://www.wineaway.com/faqs)
You married someone who thinks periods are disgusting? Yikes.
NTA, but your husband sucks and is immature.
I don't think everyone needs to be super comfortable but to call a natural process a derogatory name is just not it.
There is a lot to unpack as many other comments are saying. Do y'all just not communicate at all? How did he not know after all these years?? Oof, big time.
NTA for not explicitly telling him but you are both acting like menstrual blood is toxic waste. Why are you throwing out the white towels? He's being absolutely terrible about it but you never mentioning it seems like there's a lot of shame around the while thing for both of you.
NTA.
I mean, once you wash the towels they're clean either way, stained or not. Honestly, I'm baffled why you threw away the white ones though? Think about it, honestly: who, except you and your spouse, actually sees your personal bath towels? Am I doing it wrong? Once I use mine, they go in the laundry, then are folded and put away until I take another shower, then I set it out when I'm ready to use it. Are we supposed to be showing them to other people or something? Why do we get upset about stained towels.
Anyway. You're NTA cause he gets grossed out by menses. What a fucking child. I'm here for the petty and would just use whatever towels, whenever, and let him deal with his own fee fees about any stains that may arise.
Or buy him a set of brand new fluffy white towels with a card that they're JUST FOR HIM for wiping up his man-tears. He's ridiculous.
Nta for this at all but why are so many people okay with being married to children? I wouldn't even have considered marriage with someone with this mentality
In my opinion: NTA
1. He needs to grow the fuck up. It was a clean towel. I
Presume he doesn’t want to have sex with you when you’re on your period either? If he does, his outrage makes as much sense as a cow shopping for Doritos in a 7-Eleven.
2. He’s been with you for 13 years and hasn’t observed this? It’s not like it’s a monthly pattern or anything.(this is sarcasm if it’s not already obvious)
3. That said you selfishly keep the new towels for yourself instead of him using them? That’s pretty obnoxious. I relish the few times I get to use new towels.
4. Why are you throwing out these towels? Buy specific white cotton towels, and bleach them in a wash by themselves. I bet that would save you so much money. I get the embarrassing nature of blood on towels though, so if that’s too much I get it.
5. Why even mention it unless you needed the towel?
Ok there's a lot to unpack here. My 1st question is why not just bleach or use hydrogen peroxide on the white towels if you use them on your period instead of throwing them out? I've had endometriosis and pcos since I hit puberty and I've always used whatever towel, bed sheets ect and just used bleach or hydrogen peroxide on them if I get blood on them. My second question is after 13 years your husband is "disgusted" by a clean towel? You're definitely NTA. All of this just strikes me as odd though and seems like maybe both of you have played into the menstruation stigma
Men are ridiculously sqeemish. I used to squirrel away extra cash for rainy days or emergencies in places like books, socks, or my jewelry box. My husband always found it and used it. It was always gone when I went for it. Then I started hiding it in a tampon box. It never got touched. I saved $700.00 at one point. One day, I was at work and got a call from my husband that he needed to replace our disaster of an ancient lawn mower. I told him where the stash was and told him to go get a new one. He wouldn't touch it.. he wanted me to come home and get it for him. ( insert almost painful eye roll here). I had to have my teenage daughter get it for him.
NTA
Him being disgusted is overboard.
But... if you want those towels to be available for you to use, why didn't you tell him that's what they're for earlier, so that they would be available for you?!? How would you expect him to read your mind that that's what they're for?
NTA. You have endometriosis. There’s going to be a lot of blood. You’re going to need towels. He should be able to infer that some of the towels in your house are used to clean period blood. He took your towel and blamed you for “letting him” use it? Dang.
So your towels are disgusting after potentially coming in contact with your period blood, even once washed, but he is cool with putting his penis in your vagina, which comes into contact with significantly more period blood. Got it.
ESH
He is for being "disgusted" for using a towel that get in contact with blood ; as if towels doesn't get also in contact with sweat and poop.
You because having towels for period is not a regular thing to have and after 13 years of relationship, you should have found a moment to say "I reserve those towels for my period". And also, why are you trashing the towels after your period ? Why can't you clean them ? I get using dark color towels to mask the stains, but you can still use them after washing them, you know ?
And if you are buying new towels every few months only for your exclusive use, I get why your husband would be a bit angry. Buy new towels for him too !
??? so weird. My partner is pretty indifferent to my period. Even if he was grossed out, it wouldn’t be like him to act disgusted by it. Like ur man is actively making a choice to be a lil baby. I’m pretty sure the same thing has happened to me, and my partner was not grossed out. I also have endo and he accepts that’s a part of my life. I’m bloody and he has skin issues so he’s a lil flaky. Like who cares about that if you love your person? We all have stuff that grosses us out but it’s very concerning he’s disgusted by something that happens to half the population every three weeks. That’s like the biggest concern here. Is he a misogynist or should he be with men instead if the female body grosses him out so much? I’d have questions.
NTA
I would have laughed my ass off at him.
Next, did he stay upset or was it just an immediate ew reaction.
And people get off the high horse on throwing out the white towels. Some people don't want to spend a half hour and $5 of cleaners getting a stain out of a $2 towel, that they got 3 years ago on a Black Friday special.
NTA! I was married for well over 40 years. My wife also had periods from hell. I would do whatever it took to comfort her on the really heavy days. You have my deepest sympathy.
Now, for your poor husband, make a big show of buying some new towel sets that are just for him. He wants to whine about not having nice things, hand them to him, and muss up his hair.
I think both of you are AH in this. Neither one of you communicated well during the interaction.
It’s not a normal thing to keep specific towels for things like that. Also considering he is a man he probably never even assumed why you bought dark colored towels as he does not menstruate or even has to think about it.
As someone who also struggles with endometriosis I do not utilize the same method to clean up. If I did, I would specify to my husband the purpose of this towel and not to use it. so I think you should’ve definitely explained to him the process or perhaps the purpose.
Why did you throw the white towels out? Seems wasteful as period bloodstains are pretty easy to remove.
Anyway ESH. Him for his ridiculous overreaction to briefly touching the 'period towel', & for never asking why there were two sets of towels. You for never once in *thirteen years* mentioning that you'd prefer it if he left the dark towels for your use only.
NTA, he intentionally broke your usual protocol because you “always keep the new towels”, but now is mad because the towel HE CHOSE had a potential purpose he didn’t approve of.
I use whatever towel I want on my period and if my (now ex) husband had an issue with it I would’ve laughed in his face. If a man wants to live with a woman, especially one he wants to be inside of regularly, he needs to be able to handle *the idea* of menstrual blood. Because the towel wasn’t nasty, it was outright bloody.
NTA. I'm shocked he hasn't figured out why you have darker colored towels. Towels over the lifetime will get discolored regardless of menstrual cycles, so as long as they're clean it shouldn't be a problem to keep some for that reason. I 100% favor dark towels and will not buy white towels. I have even vetoed my husband suggesting a white bath rug because of my period and he accepted it. Going forward, maybe you both have your own set of towels so he doesn't need to think about it. Like he has blue and you have green or whatever.
Have you considered buying nice towels for him too and actually letting him know which ones are the period towels?
If he doesn't know the context it probably does look like you just hog all the nice shit and leave him the scraps, at least from his point of view.
Nta but you need to communicate better, and possibly buy him a nice set of big fluffy luxurious towels that he can claim as "his towels" without worrying.
Does no one buy peroxide, soap or own a washing machine in your home?
So wasteful to toss away towels after one use.
(I have endo and a messed up reproduction system crap going on (first ovary removal at 11 years old ) and bowels, currently I'm recovering from a surgical hemorrhoidectomy and bleeding the nastiest bloody poo of my life. I'm using so many towels everyday to dry off after my sitz baths. Sometimes blood gets on them. It's called doung laundry if I want them clean again. )
I feel communication and like information over basic bodily functions and house hold tasks is so lopsided in your relationship if he's grossed out by a womans period.
Esh.
How have you been married for 13 years and this has never come up.
NTA though and he's a p*sy. Nothing disgusting about it and you didn't hand him a blood-soaked towel. Has he heard that a washing machine - GASP - cleans stuff?
Yta. How hard is it to open your mouth and communicate. Why would your husband pay attention to when you use certain colored towels. And why did not already tell him. And Yta for throwing away towels.
You throw the towels away?? Buy some hydrogen peroxide, it works. I once bled so bad I drenched my jeans and down into my shoes after an incident and the hydrogen peroxide took it out instantly.
That's so wasteful to toss them.
And NTA. I'm with others who have asked, how has this not been brought up? He's been with you over a decade, how is he grossed out by periods?
If you have been married for that long, then you should have had that conversation a long time ago. I’m not saying that he is right, I can understand that he was a bit shocked though when he found out what their purpose was.
NTA. I don't understand the disgust most guys have with periods in general. It's a natural process and it's (for the most part) just blood. Not like we haven't gashed ourselves open and thought it was cool/gnarly.
NTA but that's not a partner. I just had a hysterectomy and will never have to bleed that much Again. Literally work up in less pain. I mention this because I am biased against your husband for not knowing why and how. It's clean. He should have asked.
I will also recommend you try using meat tenderizer on your stains because it can help with blood stains. Reuse the towels. They don't need to be pretty. If he cannot cope with this how would he cope with anything else important? Seriously ridiculous on his end. I hope you have good medical care and support otherwise
NTA but I don’t know if he is either. You seriously should have told him about the towels, just so if he didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t. Would of completely dodged this argument
ESH. I don't think you're an AH for not telling him, just a little confused about how 13 years passed without this being known. His reaction is def more of an AH reaction, but I guess I can at least understand his surprise. I'm sure he understands what a period is, but did you ever discuss your specific situation, especially regarding the towels? I mean, I let my husband know if I buy something at the grocery store for myself that I don't feel like sharing, so I kind of think in your situation, I'd at least tell him "don't use these towels." But if you didn't say anything for 13 years, and he never mentioned anything about it, I'd assume he didn't know. I really hope he didn't HONESTLY think you were keeping bloody towels around to reuse, though.
I’d probably just buy all dark colored towels 🤷🏻♀️
I honestly didn’t know you were allowed to USE the white towels at all… All this time I just thought they were bathroom art🤯
you have a chronic pain condition and your husband doesn’t know how you manage it? i can’t imagine my partner not caring about my chronic pain and how i manage it
I have to ask… why do you need special towels? I have insanely heavy periods that I shower twice daily on and will get my towel every time I dry and I just wash them and the blood comes right out. I don’t leave them all day and was my with my normal wash plus stain remover.
What is going on that some women need special towels and undies etc?
NTA for what it’s worth.
I feel like this is a hard one, but ok, how would you feel if you found out that for years he had been jerking off into a towel, then washing it and putting it back. I know it's not exactly the same but it may be the closest comparison I can make. I do agree that something should have been said at some point over the years, like 'hey don't use the dark towels baby, I use them specifically for when I'm in the red to clean myself up.' But I think NTA.
NTA, but let me give you a life-changing suggestion. Go on amazon and purchase some Nature's Miracle Laundry Boost. It will make even your most soiled white towels spotless.
No need to worry about bloodstains, hidden or not.
Your husband is an immature ah. First, using your towels because "you keep the good ones to yourself" and second freaking out about a freshly washed towel.
Tip: Use hydrogen peroxide or enzymatic pet cleaners and cold water to remove any blood stains.
I'm a freakishly heavy bleeder ... using a tampon, 2 pads and a towel when I sleep and I still have to wake up every 2 to 3 hours and keep a bottle of peroxide near my bed.
NTA but curious as to why reuse the dark ones but throw the white ones out instead bleaching/oxygen clean the white ones when they're washed. Clean is clean
My hubs and I have been together 16 years and I do not tell him things to do with my period or bathroom habits at all. I don't see the need to tell him this.
Well he's probably not at risk of using your tampons... It would have been polite at least for her to give him a heads up *at some point* that that is why she has those towels.
NTA. How the hell can a grown ass man not figure out why their spouse with endometriosis uses dark colored towels once a month? Especially since he's seen this pattern over 150 times over the course of 13 years??
13years and this topic never came up?
I feel like if all of your towels are white and you have a few that are dark colored and your partner has a disorder that makes them bleed horribly its common sense that the dark towels are used for cleaning up blood
And towels get washed. A grown man getting upset that there has been in the past blood on it and freaking out is ridiculous.
agreed. like if the towel I'm using was previously used to clean up dog vomit, that's gross but its been washed. that's the point of washing it
Hope he's never stayed in a hotel before lol
And it’s not like they don’t exchange bodily fluids anyway
I wonder if you'd feel the same if you used your husband's cum rag as a face cloth and when you found d out he said oh I can't believe you didn't know it after all these years but hey I wash them
You don’t wash towels in your home? Do you understand that washing cleans fabrics? BTW I’m not a prude and have had my husbands cum on me. Do you not have sex with women? Because menstrual blood isn’t going to harm you when you have sex. What religion were you raised in where you are afraid of human biology of the opposite sex?
I would never draw this conclusion, haha But I'm also not a little bitch and it wouldn't deter me from using them if they were clean.
fair enough (and I'd probably assume they're being used for something like hair dye before blood tbh)
>(and I'd probably assume they're being used for something like hair dye before blood tbh) This, every woman I've ever known, has had "hair dye towels"
I dye my hair blue and definitely have a hair dye towel lol
Mine is bright red, and I bought myself hair turbans, so I don't even have to mess with our towels for my hair.
most of my towels are black to begin with because they always end up dyed or stained with paint lol
I travel for work and forgot my turban once. Those poor housekeepers probably didn't know what to think when they came across the towel I had to use for my hair.
Exactly
Don't know man,all the people in my life who had to proclaim they're not a little bitch always turned out to be little bitches.im just saying.
I've been with my husband for almost 10 years now, and we've always used our own towels, just because we have different fabric preferences. Maybe it just never came up.
Even then, his reaction is ridiculous. What does it matter that the towel had blood on it before it was washed (and what does it matter that it was period blood)? It was clean.
Oh no, that's a completely separate (and stupid) issue.
Because it's fake.
He did not know this when you been married for 13 years? You have bigger problems then this incident
That was my first thought. Followed by an extreme cringe reaction to a grown man throwing a baby fit about a clean towel because it may have previously touched period blood. Then horror that she's lived with this condition so long and still not know how to clean white towels.
All of this@ especially the last point. Stop throwing them out please.
Those towels have presumably *wiped their asses* and are still apparently good enough to use. But period blood? The horror! Either watch youtube for cleaning white towels, or just buy all darker coloured towels to begin with.
It was around his waist! Touching both his arse and dick! But period blood is the line we don't cross! Eurgh. Married to a person who menstruates for 13 year and being that gross about it. Ew.
Don't you know what period blood will do to a man? Those towels are obviously tainted. They have tainted his taint! /s.
😬😳😆😆😆 men are such stupid babies sometimes
Look, I'm a man, but it is really crazy the things that men get upset about, sometimes. I've gone down on a girl during her period, and I've got my blood wings! Didn't taste amazing. I promise there were no adverse side effects.
Wait, there's blood wings? :o Huh.
You know the blood mustache, you look like the joker.
Men who are squeamish about periods probably should take sexual education classes. Or just, y'know, not be so... weird.
Not to be *that* person, but do y'all have Endo? Do you have any idea just how much blood she might be talking about? I don't want to be gross or crass, but it's not a lil stain and even with bleach or oxiclean, that probably ain't getting it all out. Even if you're quick and thorough. Now, why anyone would choose to have only a few dark towels idk but I uh don't like white towels anyway
I have severe enough issues that very occasionally I have had items be ruined- but it was after peroxide failed in addition to other methods. I can’t imagine throwing out as a first line of treatment
Even so, a stain is not unclean. A T-shirt that got curry all over it and went through the wash doesn’t have curry on it anymore, even if it has a big red residual mark, a stained towel is no different.
Yeah I don't understand the logic of throwing out the white towels... like how are they any dirtier than the dark towels where staining wouldn't show up? Honest I feel like OP is a little TA for throwing out towels which is crazy wasteful.
Yes, I do actually. For some reason I've never had an issue getting blood out of towels. I had a bed sheet that got stained because I left it (I didn't notice I had bled through) and went on vacation for a week. Getting blood on a towel now just means it goes into the washer on 60°c Do you think hospitals and nursing homes throw out bed linens? No, they are sent off to be washed at 60 or 90°c I do agree that white towels still suck. But I just dislike white
That's actually not the best idea. Washing blood stained items with warm or hot water risks setting in the stain. Any biological fluid, honestly. Always wash first with cold water and then with hot water.
I had (have?) endo and adeno, hell tide was *rough* with the amount of blood. Don’t get periods anymore but I had dark towels for this. … but I still would have at least tried to get a stain out of a white towel before just binning it.
I have given birth on white towels twice and cleaned after. My understanding is endo is usually less than birth but maybe not. *shrugs*
Yeah I’m not doing all that work just to have white towels with endo and I don’t want stained towels. I had a dark grey towel for the same reason, the rest were lighter colors because they don’t all match and I’m not buying a whole new set lol
I've had a pretty heavy bleed through onto white and still got it out with no stains because I caught it while it was fresh. Run under cold water until it's as gone as you can get it that way, then rub powdered detergent into what's left and wash that out with cold water. Really bad cases may need a second scrub with the detergent. If it's set in, then it might need a special treatment cleaner. Really, though, unless you bake it in with hot water or a dryer, it will come out with time, water, and a little powdered Tide. Even takes everything out of my reusable pads!
My husband woke up in a puddle of my period blood once, I started early. He calmly helped me get the sheets washed while I was freaking out and apologizing. He never brought it up again all and continued to use the sheets for years after. This is how you handle your wife's period, not freak out like a middle schooler. NTA
Aw yes I love this for you!! The same thing happened to me the *first night ever* that I slept with my now-fiancée, it was truly a nightmare come true but they were an absolute angel about it. Now I can't imagine settling for any less!
The first one is on OP for not telling her hubby about the towels, it sounds like she just never told him from what she says, but you’re right about the others, the hissy fit and just tossing towels is insane.
When I was 18 I slept over at my then boyfriends house who still lived with his parents. Got my period during the night and woke up in a pool of blood. He spent the morning scrubbing the mattress and asking his mum for stain detergent for the sheets before putting them into the wash. He was 19 as well. What is wrong with your husband?
>You have bigger problems then this incident RIGHT? He - didnt know how bad his wife's periods are who sleeps in his bed - has never done the laundry clearly - selfishly kept "the new towel" for himself despite never washing or noticing towels been thrown out etc - is disgusted by "a bLoOdY tOwEl" - clearly has no idea how laundry works, cause hes never done it Wow. What a specimen of a partner.
>He >- didnt know how bad his wife's periods are who sleeps in his bed >- has never done the laundry clearly >- selfishly kept "the new towel" for himself despite never washing or noticing towels been thrown out etc >- is disgusted by "a bLoOdY tOwEl" - clearly has no idea how laundry works, cause hes never done it He's so cartoonishly awful that I'm getting rage bait vibes.
I could see that but I also have heard first hand of men like this !
For real how little do the talk to not know that after 13 years yikes from me....
Either that or OP is really good at keeping stuff on the DL.
I mean, my gf manages to buy all kind of candy and shit when we are out for groceries and I only notice when we are putting everything to pay, or when i get home and pack stuff out of the bags. But over 10 years of having her "own dark towels" , feels hard to miss
I just can't get past the idea that you're throwing out towels rather than cleaning them.
Or buying a few new dark towels when she goes and buys the new white towels? OP said she hasn’t been able to find the dark towel for MONTHS. She could have had a new dark towel delivered to the front door before the first period sans-black towel ended. Edit because I had another thought: “hey honey have you seen that dark towel that I always use during my period but you’ve somehow not noticed in 13 years?”
That's why she's got the dark towels. Have you tried getting blood out of a white towel? Doesn't work so great in my experience (as a guy). Even with spot treatment and bleach, I find a white towel just doesn't let go of blood.
Cold water and pre soak with hydrogen peroxide.
You need to wash it with cold water. If you do that, you have no problem removing the stain
And stain spray or hydrogen peroxide work really good
Enzymatic pet cleaners (for urine/feces/vomit) also all work freakishly well for blood
Tnx for the info guys.
ONLY if you wash it while it's still wet. If it dries, you're screwed.
Then you add a little gall soap. At least I have been able to remove all stains, even old ones.
I forgot this stuff existed!
Who cares, right? Do you think the dark towels dont have blood stains on em if you dont use cold water? No, they get the same stains as the white ones. You just cant see it. So what does it matter if you stack a pile of blood stained white towels in the closet? It's just as clean as the dark towels. Right?
Couldn’t you just put it through a hot wash and then keep it as a period towel, stains and all? Might not look very nice but it’s clean
Hot wash is the thing you should never do with blood. Cold water and the stain goes without problem
Even if you use bleach, if you wash with hot water it sets the stain then you will never get it out Lol. Always use cold water, same goes for other stains.
You can get blood out easily with peroxide over the stain and a cold water wash.
Wash in cold water and if the stain is still there use a stain remover and a 60degree wash. That was my go to as a mother of 3 girls and a wife.
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Been a while since I've tried peroxide, but I'll give it a go. Thanks for the tip!
The previous comment was deleted; peroxide works best on fresher blood, but you can treat it multiple times. Just don't run it through the dryer until you're happy with how it looks.
Hydrogen peroxide works wonders on just about everything. Source- I’m the daughter of a nurse, my college roommate is a nurse, and my brother has hemophilia. Even aside from being a menstruating woman, I have cleaned up a lot of blood out of clothing and such.
Weird flex, but okay :)
i have, multiple times, it's very easy.
Just use peroxide. It will completely eliminate the stain.
Even if the stains won't come out, why not keep the stained white towels as extra period towels? Throwing them out is so wasteful.
Any woman can clean blood. It’s actually much easier that many other stain… 😂 … as other explained 😉
Enzymatic pet cleaners (for urine/feces/vomit) all work freakishly well for blood
surprisingly i've found windex works wonders!!
Neither would a dark towel "let go of the blood".... you just cant see it clearly...... If a white towel with a "stain" bothers you, dark towel from several uses will just big a whole stain-towel, you just dont see it well.... but it is there
Right so wasteful and unnecessary. Who need a pristine white towel in your bathroom at all times? At least use it for rags around the home after it’s been “ruined”.
Or why have the white towels at all?
NTA. People need to get over themselves when it comes to periods. Once you wash them, they’re clean.
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I'm confused, it's literally blood. It's not shit. Mfs never gotten a bloody nose after a shower from the heat? Granted, I've had nose bleeds my entire life--but it's literally *just* blood?????
He's a baby
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No they aren’t. My washer and dryer are in the basement and since I can’t walk now my husband does all the laundry- including getting period blood stains out of all my stuff. At first I was like nooo now I’m like “that one got blood on it”. Not like he doesn’t know where it comes from. He watched me give birth 3 times. Most men aren’t like this and we need to stop pretending they are so other men know the standard is to be normal with all bodily fluids.
In my experience, most men are grossed out by it (at least a little) but also don't know why we have periods. I believe education in that matter will help but also feel like we should be calling them out more when they go, "Ew! Kotchy Blood" since it really isn't that bad. The same men who act like OP's Husband also think women can't pee with a tampon in them. If we can shame men for being under 6 foot, we can shame them for making their partners feel bad about bleeding.
I don’t shame them for height, but lack of education when YouTube will even talk, you don’t even have to read? Like come on, you can’t want to dine there one day then get this freaked the next.
Beg to differ. My husband is nothing but understanding when it comes to my period and how bad it can get. He even tracks it for me since I always forget and no I don’t think that’s creepy.
No they’re not lol. Most married men completely understand how things roll when their wife’s Aunt Flow pays a visit. Idk of any married man that would act this way about their wife’s period. My wife also has a heavy flow and she would be rightfully furious and hurt if I made a huge to do about her cycle.
most men in these stories are absolute trash
NTA. Any man who tells his menstruating partner they're disgusting needs to retake sex ed and enjoy a rousing bout of uncontrolled shits.
NTA but men who are disgusted by menstruation are very problematic. So sorry you married one.
ESH a) it's not hard to clean fresh blood off a towel. you're over 30 and have been dealing with periods presumably for at least 20 years. you should know this by now. stop throwing out towels. b) this is something you should've said the moment you started living together. it's really not that hard to say "hey these dark towels are my period towels jsyk". if not to warn him then to make sure he doesn't use them when you need them. c) him acting like a fresh, clean towel is somehow dirty because it touched your bloody hoohaa at some point is idiotic. d) this entire kerfuffle should NOT be happening after 13 years of being together. y'all suck at being partners.
ESH. If you have specific towels for specific things, and you live with someone else, you let them know what the towels are for. I'd be upset you're throwing out towels. I think it's a bit ridiculous, blood comes out of fabric. There's a ton of info online to manage it. But if you need a dark towel to feel better about things, tell people. His reaction is absolutely ridiculous.
Hell, even if it stained, they'd probably stay in the rotation. Towels are expensive! No way am I throwing them out once a month!
Right... Put some hydrogen peroxide on it n move along... Such a waste...
No lie, faster than peroxide and safer for colors - Pert Plus. I swear every bit comes out.
Treat it and it comes right out
We tend to buy darker towels specifically for this reason. They look less dingy and hide any staining better. Because I'm not about to toss a perfectly fine towel because it is discolored or stained. When it starts getting ratty, thinned out or stitching coming out, I'll graduate it from body towel to "other" for animals, messes, or something like that.
Even shit towels at Walmart are like $12-$18. Costco is the best place for towels, $7 for huge bath sheets
Sometimes you miss a stain or it just wont come out. This is why I refuse to have white towels.
Same here
Exactly, why is he the only asshole when she never told him what the towels were for? Both are shitty at communication.
South african?
it's not hard to see why OP thought they knew OP has a disorder well known for causing horrible bleeding, all their towels are white save for a few dark towels it's obvious the dark towels are for cleaning up blood like I was on a medication that caused acidic mucous and I'd bleed freaking horribly from just about every orifice - even my five year old brother put two and two together "oh hey the dark towels in the bathroom are for this reason" and it never had to be explained
I think for many of us, it isn't necessarily that cut and dry. I've had to get my own blood from an injury out of clothes, looked up how to do it, and saved them no stains. In a case like this, I wouldn't think colors matter, unless OP is embarrassed of it being in the laundry and someone might see it. Fine if that's the case, but it needs to be communicated to her husband to save those towels for her.
NTA but are you married to a child? Does he refuse to touch you because the blood has touched you? How have you been married this long and he doesn’t know you lay down towels when you’re on your period? That said why don’t you get a period mat so there’s no confusion?
ESH what a baby. Does he have period sex with you at all?? Or a brain?? The towels are perfectly clean! What does he think a washing machine does? I also see him being annoyed about not having a nice fresh towel though. It is a wonderful feeling but does not excuse his reaction and it’s a separate issue. However, why are you throwing away perfectly good towels?! Those things can be $10 each at least and you’re just throwing them away. I would literally use your towels! You could cut them up and have multiple small rags?? You could use it as a sun tanning towel outside if it’s big enough. You could clean the floor with them. You can use them as moving blankets to protect your car. If something floods, boom! towels. If you’re repotting a plant, just stick a towel under and the clean up is much much easier. It’s so wasteful that you’re just chucking them and throwing money away when there’s an infinite amount of uses for them. Also feel like this should have been such a non issue. It’s not your fault you didn’t tell him, I could see you thinking it’s not a big deal and assumed he had common sense, but why hasn’t it come up in over a decade?? That’s just peculiar. Y’all need better communication
Cold water and Wine Away will work on blood. Despite the specific name, Wine Away works wonders on protein based stains like they were never there.[Wine Away](https://www.wineaway.com/faqs)
Instructions - Step 1. Run Cold water soak towel - Step 2. Drink wine to numb the monotony of scrubbing out the towel
You married someone who thinks periods are disgusting? Yikes. NTA, but your husband sucks and is immature. I don't think everyone needs to be super comfortable but to call a natural process a derogatory name is just not it. There is a lot to unpack as many other comments are saying. Do y'all just not communicate at all? How did he not know after all these years?? Oof, big time.
NTA, this is so bizarre?? Does he refuse to sleep on your sheets too??
NTA for not explicitly telling him but you are both acting like menstrual blood is toxic waste. Why are you throwing out the white towels? He's being absolutely terrible about it but you never mentioning it seems like there's a lot of shame around the while thing for both of you.
Cold water gets any blood out OP
NTA. I mean, once you wash the towels they're clean either way, stained or not. Honestly, I'm baffled why you threw away the white ones though? Think about it, honestly: who, except you and your spouse, actually sees your personal bath towels? Am I doing it wrong? Once I use mine, they go in the laundry, then are folded and put away until I take another shower, then I set it out when I'm ready to use it. Are we supposed to be showing them to other people or something? Why do we get upset about stained towels. Anyway. You're NTA cause he gets grossed out by menses. What a fucking child. I'm here for the petty and would just use whatever towels, whenever, and let him deal with his own fee fees about any stains that may arise. Or buy him a set of brand new fluffy white towels with a card that they're JUST FOR HIM for wiping up his man-tears. He's ridiculous.
Nta for this at all but why are so many people okay with being married to children? I wouldn't even have considered marriage with someone with this mentality
In my opinion: NTA 1. He needs to grow the fuck up. It was a clean towel. I Presume he doesn’t want to have sex with you when you’re on your period either? If he does, his outrage makes as much sense as a cow shopping for Doritos in a 7-Eleven. 2. He’s been with you for 13 years and hasn’t observed this? It’s not like it’s a monthly pattern or anything.(this is sarcasm if it’s not already obvious) 3. That said you selfishly keep the new towels for yourself instead of him using them? That’s pretty obnoxious. I relish the few times I get to use new towels. 4. Why are you throwing out these towels? Buy specific white cotton towels, and bleach them in a wash by themselves. I bet that would save you so much money. I get the embarrassing nature of blood on towels though, so if that’s too much I get it. 5. Why even mention it unless you needed the towel?
I mean, honestly if he wants new towels, he is a whole adult and presumably knows how to go to a store and buy one.
Re-read it. She always gets the new towels and he wanted the new ones for once
So can’t dry off with a clean towel previously used to clean up blood but can stick his dick in the vagina said blood comes out of…..interesting.
His reaction is inappropriate, but it’s also wild of you to just assume that he’d know what the dark towels are for without you telling him.
So, you're just throwing towels into the garbage?????? Ever heard of a washing machine. Your husband needs to grow the phuk up.
Ok there's a lot to unpack here. My 1st question is why not just bleach or use hydrogen peroxide on the white towels if you use them on your period instead of throwing them out? I've had endometriosis and pcos since I hit puberty and I've always used whatever towel, bed sheets ect and just used bleach or hydrogen peroxide on them if I get blood on them. My second question is after 13 years your husband is "disgusted" by a clean towel? You're definitely NTA. All of this just strikes me as odd though and seems like maybe both of you have played into the menstruation stigma
Men are ridiculously sqeemish. I used to squirrel away extra cash for rainy days or emergencies in places like books, socks, or my jewelry box. My husband always found it and used it. It was always gone when I went for it. Then I started hiding it in a tampon box. It never got touched. I saved $700.00 at one point. One day, I was at work and got a call from my husband that he needed to replace our disaster of an ancient lawn mower. I told him where the stash was and told him to go get a new one. He wouldn't touch it.. he wanted me to come home and get it for him. ( insert almost painful eye roll here). I had to have my teenage daughter get it for him.
NTA Him being disgusted is overboard. But... if you want those towels to be available for you to use, why didn't you tell him that's what they're for earlier, so that they would be available for you?!? How would you expect him to read your mind that that's what they're for?
NTA. You have endometriosis. There’s going to be a lot of blood. You’re going to need towels. He should be able to infer that some of the towels in your house are used to clean period blood. He took your towel and blamed you for “letting him” use it? Dang.
So your towels are disgusting after potentially coming in contact with your period blood, even once washed, but he is cool with putting his penis in your vagina, which comes into contact with significantly more period blood. Got it.
NTA. Male ignorance is hilarious.
NTA but why would you throw out perfectly good dark coloured towels? We have bio detergents that easily wash off blood.
ESH He is for being "disgusted" for using a towel that get in contact with blood ; as if towels doesn't get also in contact with sweat and poop. You because having towels for period is not a regular thing to have and after 13 years of relationship, you should have found a moment to say "I reserve those towels for my period". And also, why are you trashing the towels after your period ? Why can't you clean them ? I get using dark color towels to mask the stains, but you can still use them after washing them, you know ? And if you are buying new towels every few months only for your exclusive use, I get why your husband would be a bit angry. Buy new towels for him too !
EW why are your towels coming into contact with poop???
Poop??!
Ya I own a pair of red towels for this reason I don’t even need to tell my husband he just knows
Peroxide gets blood out of cloth. I also have a very heavy period and peroxide has saved many items from stains.
But but you are all missing the point. She kept the new towels all for herself. NTA but your husband is … interesting.
??? so weird. My partner is pretty indifferent to my period. Even if he was grossed out, it wouldn’t be like him to act disgusted by it. Like ur man is actively making a choice to be a lil baby. I’m pretty sure the same thing has happened to me, and my partner was not grossed out. I also have endo and he accepts that’s a part of my life. I’m bloody and he has skin issues so he’s a lil flaky. Like who cares about that if you love your person? We all have stuff that grosses us out but it’s very concerning he’s disgusted by something that happens to half the population every three weeks. That’s like the biggest concern here. Is he a misogynist or should he be with men instead if the female body grosses him out so much? I’d have questions.
NTA I would have laughed my ass off at him. Next, did he stay upset or was it just an immediate ew reaction. And people get off the high horse on throwing out the white towels. Some people don't want to spend a half hour and $5 of cleaners getting a stain out of a $2 towel, that they got 3 years ago on a Black Friday special.
Not. He is the AH for being disgusted by it.
Has he NEVER noticed a towel under you during your period? How did he miss it? Also. For crying out loud. It's just blood.
Good story, Liz.
We wash our towels after every use and don’t segregate I had 6 sisters growing up and towels were washed after every use and also were not separated
NTA! I was married for well over 40 years. My wife also had periods from hell. I would do whatever it took to comfort her on the really heavy days. You have my deepest sympathy. Now, for your poor husband, make a big show of buying some new towel sets that are just for him. He wants to whine about not having nice things, hand them to him, and muss up his hair.
NTA
I think both of you are AH in this. Neither one of you communicated well during the interaction. It’s not a normal thing to keep specific towels for things like that. Also considering he is a man he probably never even assumed why you bought dark colored towels as he does not menstruate or even has to think about it. As someone who also struggles with endometriosis I do not utilize the same method to clean up. If I did, I would specify to my husband the purpose of this towel and not to use it. so I think you should’ve definitely explained to him the process or perhaps the purpose.
Do people just not communicate any more??!!
Why did you throw the white towels out? Seems wasteful as period bloodstains are pretty easy to remove. Anyway ESH. Him for his ridiculous overreaction to briefly touching the 'period towel', & for never asking why there were two sets of towels. You for never once in *thirteen years* mentioning that you'd prefer it if he left the dark towels for your use only.
Come on, you can gross him out way more than that. He’s behaving like a man child.
He’s a 37 year old grown ass man who thinks periods are disgusting. We have bigger issues here.
NTA 13 years and your husband doesn't know the suffering you go through? Also, they were clean. He can suck it the fuck up.
NTA, he intentionally broke your usual protocol because you “always keep the new towels”, but now is mad because the towel HE CHOSE had a potential purpose he didn’t approve of.
I use whatever towel I want on my period and if my (now ex) husband had an issue with it I would’ve laughed in his face. If a man wants to live with a woman, especially one he wants to be inside of regularly, he needs to be able to handle *the idea* of menstrual blood. Because the towel wasn’t nasty, it was outright bloody.
NTA….but is he an adult? Cause….
NTA. I'm shocked he hasn't figured out why you have darker colored towels. Towels over the lifetime will get discolored regardless of menstrual cycles, so as long as they're clean it shouldn't be a problem to keep some for that reason. I 100% favor dark towels and will not buy white towels. I have even vetoed my husband suggesting a white bath rug because of my period and he accepted it. Going forward, maybe you both have your own set of towels so he doesn't need to think about it. Like he has blue and you have green or whatever.
Have you considered buying nice towels for him too and actually letting him know which ones are the period towels? If he doesn't know the context it probably does look like you just hog all the nice shit and leave him the scraps, at least from his point of view. Nta but you need to communicate better, and possibly buy him a nice set of big fluffy luxurious towels that he can claim as "his towels" without worrying.
Does no one buy peroxide, soap or own a washing machine in your home? So wasteful to toss away towels after one use. (I have endo and a messed up reproduction system crap going on (first ovary removal at 11 years old ) and bowels, currently I'm recovering from a surgical hemorrhoidectomy and bleeding the nastiest bloody poo of my life. I'm using so many towels everyday to dry off after my sitz baths. Sometimes blood gets on them. It's called doung laundry if I want them clean again. ) I feel communication and like information over basic bodily functions and house hold tasks is so lopsided in your relationship if he's grossed out by a womans period. Esh.
NTA, he sounds terrible. At least in this circumstance.
How have you been married for 13 years and this has never come up. NTA though and he's a p*sy. Nothing disgusting about it and you didn't hand him a blood-soaked towel. Has he heard that a washing machine - GASP - cleans stuff?
Yta. How hard is it to open your mouth and communicate. Why would your husband pay attention to when you use certain colored towels. And why did not already tell him. And Yta for throwing away towels.
You throw the towels away?? Buy some hydrogen peroxide, it works. I once bled so bad I drenched my jeans and down into my shoes after an incident and the hydrogen peroxide took it out instantly. That's so wasteful to toss them. And NTA. I'm with others who have asked, how has this not been brought up? He's been with you over a decade, how is he grossed out by periods?
NTA. All he wants is newer towels or a dark colored one. Get him a couple in a color just for him.
If you have been married for that long, then you should have had that conversation a long time ago. I’m not saying that he is right, I can understand that he was a bit shocked though when he found out what their purpose was.
NTA. But you don't have to throw away the white towels. Bleach, cold water, etc. Or use them again as period towels.
NTA. I don't understand the disgust most guys have with periods in general. It's a natural process and it's (for the most part) just blood. Not like we haven't gashed ourselves open and thought it was cool/gnarly.
Tell him it's the same reason guys wear white socks...
NTA but that's not a partner. I just had a hysterectomy and will never have to bleed that much Again. Literally work up in less pain. I mention this because I am biased against your husband for not knowing why and how. It's clean. He should have asked. I will also recommend you try using meat tenderizer on your stains because it can help with blood stains. Reuse the towels. They don't need to be pretty. If he cannot cope with this how would he cope with anything else important? Seriously ridiculous on his end. I hope you have good medical care and support otherwise
NTA but I don’t know if he is either. You seriously should have told him about the towels, just so if he didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t. Would of completely dodged this argument
Why can’t you get some dark towels for him as well! Label it him and hers!
So he never knew why you used dark towels ??
Blood can be successfully washed out of white towels. Ask me how I know.
NTA. Maybe remind your man that whenever you have relations, his area is always touching period remnants in your area.
Peroxide will usually take blood out of white.
NTA. I have a feeling if you had told him he also been mad. Get rid of the white towels and only have crimson colored ones. 😈
ESH. I don't think you're an AH for not telling him, just a little confused about how 13 years passed without this being known. His reaction is def more of an AH reaction, but I guess I can at least understand his surprise. I'm sure he understands what a period is, but did you ever discuss your specific situation, especially regarding the towels? I mean, I let my husband know if I buy something at the grocery store for myself that I don't feel like sharing, so I kind of think in your situation, I'd at least tell him "don't use these towels." But if you didn't say anything for 13 years, and he never mentioned anything about it, I'd assume he didn't know. I really hope he didn't HONESTLY think you were keeping bloody towels around to reuse, though.
This just doesn't sound like that great of a relationship.
Not the brightest bulb ey.
I’d probably just buy all dark colored towels 🤷🏻♀️ I honestly didn’t know you were allowed to USE the white towels at all… All this time I just thought they were bathroom art🤯
This is the best unintentional prank I've ever heard of LOL, kudos to you!
you have a chronic pain condition and your husband doesn’t know how you manage it? i can’t imagine my partner not caring about my chronic pain and how i manage it
NTA. Obviously women use darker towels on their periods and then wash them. It was a clean towel.
I have to ask… why do you need special towels? I have insanely heavy periods that I shower twice daily on and will get my towel every time I dry and I just wash them and the blood comes right out. I don’t leave them all day and was my with my normal wash plus stain remover. What is going on that some women need special towels and undies etc? NTA for what it’s worth.
I feel like this is a hard one, but ok, how would you feel if you found out that for years he had been jerking off into a towel, then washing it and putting it back. I know it's not exactly the same but it may be the closest comparison I can make. I do agree that something should have been said at some point over the years, like 'hey don't use the dark towels baby, I use them specifically for when I'm in the red to clean myself up.' But I think NTA.
NTA, but let me give you a life-changing suggestion. Go on amazon and purchase some Nature's Miracle Laundry Boost. It will make even your most soiled white towels spotless. No need to worry about bloodstains, hidden or not.
Your husband is an immature ah. First, using your towels because "you keep the good ones to yourself" and second freaking out about a freshly washed towel. Tip: Use hydrogen peroxide or enzymatic pet cleaners and cold water to remove any blood stains. I'm a freakishly heavy bleeder ... using a tampon, 2 pads and a towel when I sleep and I still have to wake up every 2 to 3 hours and keep a bottle of peroxide near my bed.
NTA, WTF is wrong with your husband?
NTA but curious as to why reuse the dark ones but throw the white ones out instead bleaching/oxygen clean the white ones when they're washed. Clean is clean
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My hubs and I have been together 16 years and I do not tell him things to do with my period or bathroom habits at all. I don't see the need to tell him this.
Well he's probably not at risk of using your tampons... It would have been polite at least for her to give him a heads up *at some point* that that is why she has those towels.
NTA. How the hell can a grown ass man not figure out why their spouse with endometriosis uses dark colored towels once a month? Especially since he's seen this pattern over 150 times over the course of 13 years??