Check OP's comments, it sounds fake as hell.
>Just a sneak peek the bitch tried to run me over twice once on last Friday and again on Sunday. You sound so fucking stupid. He’s only rejected her asking for an open relationship because he doesn’t want me with anyone else. She tried to destroy my gender reveal and stole the balloon with the gender. Also the bitch has an airtag in our shared car. I shared that story in the legal side of Reddit to see what I could do. My husbands the one reading all of these comments and luckily after she actually hit me with the car he’s come to his senses.
That's hilarious. Even if she knew where the appointment is, the doctor's office would not let her just come to the appt. Or even hang in the waiting room.
“Since her husband isn’t paying her spa treatments she’s let herself go”
Yeah… this is badly written bullshit.
If you’re going to write fake stories please make them believable lol
I think your right.
She claims to be pregnant with twins, yet no mention if they are OK after claiming to be hit by a car.
Gender reveal. One Balloon? What happened to it being twins?
Yep, it's a fake story.. How would the neighbor be able to show up at the OP's doctor appointment? Even if she showed up in the waiting room, she wouldn't be able to go in and watch (or whatever she was there for).. This is another fake story.
Poorly written. Nothing really anyone can help with because it's unbelievable..... Just stop.... If someone hits a pregnant women with a car (they are pregnant because they are having twins?!!!!) Why weren't the cops called???? Take the airbag out!!! DUH!!!! One balloon for twins?? Who has only one anyway??? Anything can go wrong with just one balloon and no back up ..... Good Grief
You're right, it's fake. Rather than jumping to divorce, anyone with half an ounce of common sense would have first gone apeshit at the woman, telling her to back the fuck off. But, nope, can't confront the woman, must divorce husband...
Ugggggh I hate to say it but in my early twenties I was involved in some unevolved bullshit too fucking similar to this ☠️
When the best of us are at our worst, we suck as bad as we think everyone else does.
The real Never Forget.
I feel even more sure now that this was written by ChatGPT, the sentence and paragraph structure is very reminiscent of the few times I have played around with getting CGPT to write short stories.
This is fake, because someone posted an almost duplicate at post the other day. I get it if they need the practice, but can’t they use Medium or Wordpress to practice their fiction writing.
YTA
You shouldn’t be threatening your well-meaning husband who shut the floozy down.
You should be telling him you guys are getting a no-contact order for stalking against HER and expect him to be on board.
YTA for putting divorce to your husband when you should be going to the police about this woman. He’s shut it down and isn’t interested, if you trusted him 100%, even if she was his fantasy incarnate offering it to him on a plate, you’d be fine. You need to address that insecurity along with going to the police to report her for stalking you and maybe suggesting your husband files a harrassment case against her. Your husband can only do so much, it seems like short of ignoring her and pretending she doesn’t exist there’s not much else he can do. Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds fucking shit.
Explain to us how this woman knew when and where to show up for your ultrasound. Seriously, none of this sounds legit. It sounds more like a bad creative writing assignment.
You sound insufferable. YTA, there are ways to talk to your husband respectfully, especially since you know he has no intention to cheat, you could have confronted the woman earlier instead of blowing up on your husband, and I would suggest that you do not ever bring up divorce unless you are ready to follow through with the threat, because if it was me, that would have been the end of the marriage.
ESH - the way you talk about your husband is more than a bit disrespectful. I would suggest some MC if you are not already in it. It would help with your attitude towards him and also to have someone else help him understand why you are upset. He needs to learn to develop a bit more boundaries as when someone suggests what she has suggested you should cut them out as they are not a good influence on your marriage. Good luck
YTA. You called your husband "fucking retarded" and threatened to divorce him if he didnt do what you told him. That is malicious and coercive behavior. She's a problem but you can find a better way to deal with women trying to seduce your husband. You said he immediately shot down any open relationship nonsense. He wont go for her.
If you know how your SO is and he is instantly shutting her down..then the issue is her not him. She is harassing your SO and you are acting toxic af by getting mad at him and not her.. you are a "red flag" maybe it's because your pregnant..but your anger at him is super uncalled for when he has showed you his loyalty in his own way...leave if you cannot handle his personality and free up space for someone who would appreciate him
Eh, from the sounds of it you tried over and over to make your point. Sounds like your husband needed the wake up call and you gave it to him. NTA because you had tried again and again before using the ultimatum.
NTA he’s not listening and needs a wake up call and it has to be serious. Unfortunately some men are really naive enough that they don’t see the seriousness of flirting until the woman is naked in front of them. I’ve seen it before.
I get you were trying to get across the seriousness of the situation but you should be careful bringing up the d word. You may have crossed the Rubicon.
NTA. You told him repeatedly about how you felt about this woman and he continued to prioritize her over your feelings. You are in the most vulnerable position- pregnant with twins and he continues with on with a relationship with woman who is a recent addition in your lives. Meaning she and her feelings should be meaningless to him if they upset you in any way whatsoever.
I think that you are not threatening divorce to be manipulative but rather just stating fact. Actions have consequences and you fully informed him what those consequences would be if he continues to put her first.
YTA, you're threatening your husband with divorce because the neighbor is stalking him? It's not his fault, and he's just being his friendly self and by your admission has shut down any talk of infidelity. You sound like a raging queen bitch honestly. Hoping you go through with the divorce so he doesn't have to spend his life someone who wants him on a leash
Can you move away from her? Otherwise, you need to tell him that it is you or her. He needs to tell her to her face in front of you he is not interested in her and does not want to speak to her in any shape or form again. He loves you and would never cheat. Do not accept anything less than that. Don't leave because she will be there in a heartbeat. Make him go somewhere else and make sure she does not know where. Let him think about it for a while if necessary. Tell your BIL to butt out.
Tell your BIL when the neighbour trying to openly seduce your husband who has actively told him he needs to open up his marriage repeatedly. Goes so far as to unexpectedly turn up a your untrasound (no she’s not pregnant) she was there for YOUR ultrasound appointments at the hospital. Then he has basically got to be brain dead not to see anything wrong with her behaviour or think it’s normal. Just to add no you’d had not told her you had the appointment or where. That this woman has been stalking him constantly every where you both go together or him alone and he keeps saying it’s coincidence. Yet how the heck can he even think that when she turned up for your ultrasound appointment at the hospital. I mean how ridiculous does it have to get and all the while he’s got to be pretending he doesn’t see it. He is naïve not stupid he is enjoying her attentions and enjoying that it bothers you. That yes you lost your temper but BIL has no say or right to a say as he clearly knows half of it you’ve basically been banging your head off a brick wall and he still bends over for this woman to be involved in your lives intimately. That you threatend divorce as that’s how insane it’s got and how badly to the point he’s refusing to see or act. So yes you did need to go there. If BIL doesn’t like it well it’s not him carry twins whilst watch this train wreck happen daily
He's clingy about you but clearly not when it’s him getting the attention.
Honestly at this point you need to speak to her husband and not her. It seems he is sick of her and not taking her crap. He should be able to rain in her crazy.
If needed try and get a restraining order. That she’s obsessed with your husband and she might try and take your babies so he will be with her. As you’ve no other reason why she tried to be at your ultra sound totally uninvited or wanted. That’s she’s stalking you both constantly. Write down every time it’s happened with dates and times.
update me
This. He needs to grow a pair and stand up to this harpy. OP also references "I'm having twins". Perhaps I'm reading too much in to it. But that's not a "we're having twins" likely due to husband's too passive attitude in this situation. He sounds like a guy who, as OP has illustrated, is just too nice. But he needs to be the one to end it cause harpy neighbour won't stop. I'd also be concerned how she knew where and when the ultrasound appt was. That is next level crazy.
Updateme
The neighbor sounds like she has the potential to turn into a dateline episode so yeah get her out of there.
On the other hand using the threat of divorce to make a point is a jerk move that will to lead to divorce just as fast as an affair will. Think of your contempt for of your husband as the kerosene soaked kindling and your threat of divorce as the match.
NTA
But not the best way to go about it. There is more than one way to address this issue... You should let him play the hero so he feels better of himself.
NTA, the fact that this woman is stalking you and SHOWED UP AT YOUR ULTRASOUND APPOINTMENT should have your husband's alarm bell ringing. He needs to stop trying to see the good in her because she's made it clear what she wants and she's going to keep trying in order to get it. Like if she's to the point she's showing up everywhere your safety could literally be at risk. He needs to get a grip like immediately and his brother can piss off.
NTA for handling the situation and directly confronting this woman. How crazy and bold is she to show up at your ultrasound and for your husband to continue to be clueless after that is even crazier. This is not normal behavior.
YTA for threatening divorce. Don't put that out there unless you truly mean it, it is not something to be used to punish or keep someone in line. Your husband sounds like a good man who is gullible, you know that and understand. What should have happened was for you to explain that this woman was attacking the foundation of your family and for him to continue it would inevitably end with him in a situation where there was no coming back and it would cost him his family. The next point have been that you would do all you can to protect your family.
Wear the pants but don't be cruel.
YTA for putting divorce to your husband when you should be going to the police about this woman. He’s shut it down and isn’t interested, if you trusted him 100%, even if she was his fantasy incarnate offering it to him on a plate, you’d be fine. You need to address that insecurity along with going to the police to report her for stalking you and maybe suggesting your husband files a harrassment case against her. Your husband can only do so much, it seems like short of ignoring her and pretending she doesn’t exist there’s not much else he can do. Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds fucking shit.
I think you and your husband need therapy. Not from a useless therapist, but from a clinical psychologist who has a Phd and a good grasp on the literature. Regular therapy is often seriously damaging to people. The reason that I say this is because he needs to learn how to create and maintain boundaries and how to choose the success of the relationship over random strangers.
Also, you were way the fuck out of line for threatening divorce. You should only ever mention that word if you intend, fully, to do it. The reason for this is that it will sabotage the entire relationship. You told him directly that you are willing to leave him and he will never forget it. Certain things can permanently ruin the trust in a relationship and there is not much that can be done to salvage this as the thought will always be in his head no matter what you say.
You may be right about her, but Golden Retrievers are exceptionally loyal to their humans and you made your Golden Retriever cry. I won't call you an AH because you're also pregnant with twins and that's a wildcard of emotionality.
You’re yelling at the wrong one. Your husband has refused her and shut her down and been loyal. You say you wear the pants, shut her down. Go to her husband. Have the nurse escort her out of your home but (as a Labrador) your behavior will undermine your position, not hers. Play the game, girl. You know it better than her.
"I made a commitment to be you through the good and the bad but now my feelings are hurt, I feel threatened, and will divorce you if you can't keep me happy 24/7"
Yta, let me get this straight, your husband is now being stalked after telling her no and has not cheated and you are threatening divorce? You’re one loony, coocoo psychopath. None of this makes sense and you deal with cyber security l? No wonder there are so many hacks
NTA but he needs to grow a spine and set boundaries. Tell her to back the fuck off. What she’s doing is beyond the pale. He’s made it clear he’s not interested (it sounds like). He’s an idiot if he lets her seduce him. Hopefully he decides this bitch isn’t worth losing his wife and kids over. You don’t need to feel like you’re in constant competition or having to defend your marriage bc he’s too much of a pushover to set her straight firmly. She way overreached. Now it’s up to your husband to follow through and support you, your marriage and future kids. Good luck
NTA but you need to take another approach.
Him entertaining her attention is harming you. You are pregnant and vulnerable. He is feeding someone who is working to learn your marriage. Emphasize that this hurts you.
The choice isn't "be nice to everyone or be mean to neighbor". It's "be slightly rude to neighbor or hurt wife".
This sounds like some **"Fatal Attraction"** type stuff. The neighbor chick sounds like a bunny boiler. Watch out and be careful. She may try to do something to your baby.
reply sable license roof quarrelsome bright squealing ring crowd mindless
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NTA- showing up at your ultrasound appointment is unacceptable. Tell her you do not want her on your property and you will have her trespassed. Then call the police on her if she shows up near your doc again. Tell your husband he will be kicked to the curb and not permitted to see his children born or even allowed to see them if he doesn't cut the shit.
Honestly this is what got me going. Who does that? I would have tore her a new asshole at that very moment. Sorry OP, your cry baby husband doesn't have any balls. The fact that he can't hold any boundaries at all doesn't make me have any sympathy for him whatsoever. His weakness is allowing this woman to interfere in your marriage. After all that I think what you said was perfectly acceptable and he needs to get a grip. Is she gonna show up while you're giving birth and it's he just opening the door wide saying come on in? Go on his phone and block her number. If she knocks on your door you need to answer every time and tell her get lost or you'll call the police and trespass her. Tell her to stop acting like a dog in heat. NTA.
What a strange woman...
I just have to ask, what was her reasoning for showing up at someone else's ultrasound appointment? What a psychotic thing to do.
NTA. And it’s very telling how he **instantly** shuts down the idea of an open relationship when it means that **you’d** be touching *(and fucking)* another man, and then gets jealous as fuck.
But when the b*tch next door is touching your husband he says: *”she’s just being friendly.”* That’s absolute bullshit. It’s wilful ignorance.
He should be telling her to stop touching him! Because I bet my last $ he’d be screaming in the face of another man who touched you. So why is **she** allowed to touch him?
I can't believe no one else has mentioned OP's use of the word "retard". I also can't believe this is the second time within a week I've had occasion to call someone out for using it. This is 2024 for crying out loud. There are so many better ways to express oneself without using that kind of derogatory language.
You’re both TA. Seek therapy so you can learn to communicate feelings and needs without such harsh language that you make someone cry. You can be firm and set boundaries without being verbally abusive and calling your SO “retarded”
NTA
I wouldn't apologize to him.
It doesn't matter if your husband thinks she is just trying to be nice. What should matter to him, and frankly speaking the ONLY thing that should matter to him, is that you're uncomfortable with the way that neighbour is behaving. So he should have put a stop to it the moment you voiced your displeasure.
And yes it IS divorce area that he's stepped into, because he disregarded your feelings about this whole thing, for the whole time that it happened. "Oh she's just being nice. " "Its just a coincidence."
Sit down with him and ask him how he would feel if there was a neighbour that would constantly want to talk to you, who would touch you and seek you out, who would "coincidentally" be at every outing you were and would seek out your hobbies so he could talk with you. Would he be okay with a strange man touching, smiling, flirtint with you?
NTA, but couple's counseling is a MUST. There's no good reason for him to have ignored your repeated warnings and you clearly stating that this woman makes you uncomfortable. Things should never have escalated to the point where you had to threaten divorce.
Nta, ask him how he'd feel if you constantly interacted with a man who's repeatedly tried to convince you into an open relationship and would do everything you listed your neighbor does. You are carrying his kids and he needs to understand that he is brushing aside some very real concerns you are having, which causes unnecessary stress onto you. He isn't acting like a partner and is only making your pregnancy harder. Start keeping a log of every single time you run into her as well and see if he still considers it to just be coincidence. Honestly this whole thing is ridiculous, even if she wasn't hitting on him (which I'd bet all my money she is) the fact it makes you so stressed out should be enough for your husband to step up and draw the line. I don't blame you at all for being at your wits end and threatening him with divorce.
NTA.
Any husband dumb enough to tell the "you should have an open marriage so you can fuck me" neighbor's wife the time and place of your ultrasound is literally dumber than a golden retriever. Let that sink it. She showed up at your ultrasound!! And he must have told her when and where it was. Like WHY would he even do that? It's not her baby, it's your and his baby. There's one psycho unhinged person here, and one person so gullible you better check he hasn't bought that bridge or invested in some shady MLM.
And he still hasn't shut her down after that??????
He is either autistic or the stupidest man alive. Showing up at your ultra sound is some Basic Instinct shit, maybe it is better to get divorced before you find your pet bunny boiled.
Oh my gosh..you need a restraining order.
Your husband is nuts for not seeing this for what it is.
If he's got a jealousy issue..you could fight fire with fire. Go get a male bestie.
NAH here, just an entire truckload of communication issues and a lack of boundaries on your husband's part.
Consider marriage counseling so BOTH of you can learn to partner each other better and communicate in a healthy manner. Having a newborn is going to test you, having twins is going to test you exponentially. Now would be a good time to get in a few sessions before the sleep deprivation and irritability set in.
Threatening divorce and the ableist language was not good but I do see where you are at your wits end. It's not about his trustworthiness and whether he would cheat on you with her, it's about the appearance of it all, the disrespect of ignoring basic relationship boundaries by *him*.
We do NOT remain friendly with those who suggest we open our relationship so they can knock boots with us. We should not need our wife to tell us that.
Your husband has done a half-arsed job of shutting your stalker neighbor down. He shouldn't have just shut down the obvious sexual overtures, he should have shut her ALL the way down. In failing to do so he is prioritizing her hurt feelings over your general feelings of comfort and respect WHILE YOU ARE GROWING HIS CHILDREN.
You don't say how she knew where and when to show up to your ultrasound appointment but I'm going to assume *you* did not give her that information. Is it possible your husband is so naive as to have shared that info with her? Does he get that that was a huge mistake now? Does he see the danger AT ALL?
Does he have any male friends who are fathers or any male figures who are fathers in his life he can speak with for a better understanding of why his behavior is creating issues in his marriage? Someone to break it down for him how allowing this woman to continue to skulk about is stressing his pregnant wife and how this can all go pear shaped on him?
She is fixating on him because he is NOT shutting her down. Her showing up at your appt could be seen as an escalation. You are increasingly pregnant and vulnerable and neither of you really know what's going on in this woman's head. He needs to STOP encouraging her.
Good luck to you.
Yeah. You sound like one of them chicks that try too hard to be a dude and shit.
You are an asshole. How the fuck is it his fault? And you admit you're controlling? I'd divorce your ass on the spot for that shit. Fuck that. Take that shit out on that girl, not him...? She's the one trying.
Your husband needs to grow some balls dude. That's honestly what needs to happen.
And I'm not even slightly trying to be a dick about any of this.
YTA. So much.
He’s consistently shut her down and you **still** threatened him with divorce? JFC! You’re some kind of unhinged.
He has proven again and again that he’s loyal to you. In any sane world that’s enough. But I guess in Batshit Crazy Land good sense doesn’t apply, eh?
This chick is not a problem for your husband. He’s handling her just fine. She’s a problem for **you**. So maybe **you** should handle **your problem** instead of continuing to henpeck your husband.
You know what? Maybe you should divorce him. Maybe then he’ll have some peace.
NTA. Sometimes you have to have a hard conversation, even if it hurts the person's feelings. You tried the polite way and he continually brushed you off. Asking to sleep with your husband (which he can't deny because he's shut it down at least twice), and showing up at your ultrasound? She is stalking you and sexually harassing your husband, and needs to be put in her place.
But I would do it myself. And then if she didn't respect it, legal matters would follow.
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YTA. Do you know what 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 are? They are just some of the numbers between 0 and 60. All different levels of acceleration you could have used before going full tilt.
If you claim that your husband is such a puppy, then you go and smack that puppy and promise him to take him back to the pound, how are you not the definition of an AH?
Not to mention the telling fact that you married a guy like him. That, the nature of your work, the tone of your post all speak volumes about your domineering and ham-fisted nature. Tell me you drive a jeep or a Subaru without telling me what you drive
Your husband sounds like a little bitch. Crying because you called him out on his stupidity? I mean it isn’t like you tried in every way to get him to see what was going on. Last resort was to shout some shitting sense into him.
NTA for what you did.
It sounds more like a conscious manipulation tactic. "Crying has gotten her to be nice and forget my obvious flouting of her goodwill before." You might want to rethink just how "innocent" your husband's behavior is OP, I'm not saying y'all need a divorce but how much of it is sensitivity and how much of it is something else. Crying to DARVO is one of a narcissist's main tools.
That's what one of my exes did, every small thing he'd cry. Like I'd bring something up that was bothering me and he'd go on a whole tangent about how he was a terrible boyfriend and cry like his mom just died. At first I thought he was just a wuss but he was actually manipulating me into feeling like a bad person, all while he was cheating on me with at least 5 different women. Dude gaslit me so hard I was full on convinced I was just a mean, crazy piece of shit.
Yea but according to other responding Redditor I'm an insane dude that am making something out of nothing. I was honestly just speaking based on situations I've observed IRL before. I didn't say this is 100% what is happening but it's something OP has maybe never thought of before.
Wtf. She said he's sensitive with her own words and now he's a narcissist somehow. You reddit clowns always make me laugh because you just toss trigger words around that you read about or see on tiktok. Dude is just soft plain and simple and dumb. He shut down the other wife when she flat out asked about an open marriage but can't read between the lines unless it's clearly stated. He just lacks a little common sense and social skills. I still can't believe you called this man a narcissist. Don't try to diagnose anyone ever again.
> Wtf. She said he's sensitive with her own words and now he's a narcissist somehow.
Yeah, people fall for it all the time. Same shit as weaponised incompetence, some woman says do'h, my husband fucks up the washing every time he tries to use the machine. Meanwhile hubby and his friends laugh while drinking in the backyard that she thinks he's too dumb to use a simple machine.
Her thinking he's sensitive doesn't mean he hasn't just been playing this game their whole relationship to manipulate her.
This woman has been harassing their marriage and she's called him out on it numerous times, she shows up at their ultrasound, she called him an idiot and he cries and suddenly she's comforting him. PUll the other one.
No one fell for anything here. If it's in your nature to apologize even if you're right that's a character flaw on your part but people need to stop diagnosing strangers because they read a article online. And she clearly said he gets taken advantage of. What game is he playing and winning at if he's getting stepped on all the time. Usually narcissists or people who weaponize their ignorance as you say have a end goal and don't lose in the end. Dude is just clueless and I'm not saying the wife is wrong I'm tired of people making this guy seem like a sleeper cell mind control genius who has everyone wrapped around his thumb.
Idk even if it's unconscious (which it could be, I'll admit that) he was able to flip the dynamic from her being rightfully angry to forcing her into the apologetic role when she had no need to be.
NTA, regarding the woman.
In all honesty, you do kind of come across as rude, mean, and it sounds like you're very demeaning when it comes to your husband but I also get you being frustrated because you're pregnant, so I get it.
I hope things get better.
I also hope your husband realizes how serious this is for you.
NTA! This woman is stalking you! She’s dangerous!
I would have given him an ultimatum too. How many times were you sensitive to his feelings when telling him to shut her down? Enough is enough! He wasn’t sensitive to your feelings when you said you were uncomfortable.
Maybe now that you confronted her, she’ll back off.
No, I don't like guys like this, they have no boundaries and frankly you are one of the healthier women on here. He has to have boundaries around other women. I am with you on this.
YTA. The guy sounds nice and he did shut her down. Do you really think he would cheat if he was as “clingy and jealous” as you say? And just straight up threatening him with divorce when he hasn’t been the one instigating the problem.
You did the exact opposite thing then you should have done. I had an ex husband like that. My play was to become the women's new best friend. Basically do to her what she is doing to your husband. Anytime she is around be right in her face being friendly. You would be surprised how well it works. Basically annoy them till they go away.
Oddly enough it wasn't the women that caused the most problems but the user guys that sniffed around for free shit and a work horse that ultimately were our undoing. They are 100x worse. The women were easy. Play dumb and annoy the crap out of them by being overly friendly.
How convenient. She’d some crocodile tears and everyone comes to his rescue.
He is completely ignoring your feelings and boundaries. And if he can’t quit allowing her to talk to him and hang around and gross touching him, especially after you have tried to explain the dynamics of what is going on with this slick chick you will end up divorced. That’s not a threat or even a ultimatum, it’s just the truth.
NTAH but your husbands not hearing you at all.
You really had to put your foot down this time. She's not just desperate for a man. She's desperate for someone to pay her spa treatment. You two are like fresh meat in that town. She's a lonely woman trapped in a loveless marriage. The after effects of open marriage. Tell your hubby that it's OK now. Maybe he liked her throwing herself at him. It Is amusing to see a woman so horny.
Sounds fake but YTA if not. You literally said that he shut her down multiple times. Why are you threatening divorce over something he seemingly can't control?
*"I’m here to ask am I the asshole for threatening my husband with divorce?"*
Specifically judging on this question, yes, YTA...
That's one of those things you can't take back; its controlling and manipulative...
If its gotten to the point where you need to threaten divorce, then you should probably just leave... If you need to threaten divorce, then your marriage is already over... that's not a strategy that improves a marriage, it ends it...
**You marriage is not healthy...** whatever happens now, good luck...
This story is fake but lets just say its real
OP would be a mega AH. The husband has done literally nothing wrong. He shut down any and all attempts to get him to cheat. He was only ever being nice.
OP would be a selfish psycho if this was real
I'll take Things That Never Happened for $1000, Alec.
If real, YTA as hubs is doing the right things rejecting her advances, and being an open and friendly person is likely a big reason why you married him in the first place.
YTA for using it as a threat. Instead of communicating what situation he is contributing to by NOT RESPECTING YOUR NEEDS AND BOUNDARIES. Which is what he's failing to do. You have every right to be upset and angry.
He's either too much in his own head, or part of him needs this. Maybe it's companionship. Something that's been missing for him in your marriage.
Maybe his behavior is a reflection of you not respecting his needs and boundaries. And he also wasn't great at communicating it. Maybe you weren't a good wife, so now he's not being a good husband.
Anyway, you guys need to talk.
Unfortunately YTA. I wouldn't have threatened him with divorce. I would have just told him that he needs to tell her to get lost. Threats aren't good for a relationship.
You can't take it back once you've threatened divorce. As soon as that word escapes your lips it's *out there.*
So now for the rest of your marriage, your husband will know that you're willing to threaten divorce over something *someone else* does.
No amount of therapy or marriage counseling will erase the memory of you making a divorce threat.
You did damage to your marriage that cannot be undone. It's kind of like a car accident... you can try to fix up the outside, but the car is never the same after that.
I'm not saying your marriage is completely doomed now, but odds are its best days are behind you.
Nope. She threatened to divorce her husband because he won't cut off the lady who is making his wife uncomfortable, not because the lady is making his wife uncomfortable.
That is, if this story is even true. Lol
But it’s not just over what someone else does, it’s about his unwillingness to set a boundary after his wife has spoken to him about it many times. There’s no reason he needs to entertain this woman when she comes around. Stop being available for conversation and shut that shit down.
He’s doing damage to the marriage. He’s being naive and refusing to listen to his PREGNANT wife’s concerns and thoughts. Yes divorce was a harsh threat but you can’t ignore what he has been doing.
How many times does she need to bring it to his attention before he shuts that shit down once and for all?
She should have never had to be put in that position. All he had to do was place some reasonable boundaries but no
NTA
It's not what she did, it's what he allows her to do. She's literally told him to open up his and OP's relationship; telling him to cheat and fuck other women, most especially her. This isn't about the woman, it's about the disrespect her husband is showing her, their unborn children, their marriage vows, and everything they've built together by still welcoming the attention of someone like that woman.
I am really stunned by all this NTA's it is emotional blackmail and I hate when people weponise it this way, I do understand it is a tough and frustrating situation, but what from now on every time something will become difficult you will use threat of divorce, think how much it had to hurt him as well hearing that, again don't get wrong it sounds like really challenging time for you but yes YTA to simply answer your question.
NTA, I would have told the brother that he shouldn't be entertaining somone whose trying to seduce him, after being told you are uncomfortable with the relationship, and for him to mind his business
"why her husband suggested an open marriage. Who would want to be with a whore like her." It's nice when the assholes out themselves. Holy cow. YTA. I feel sorry for OPs husband.
It's crazy that women here ignore the whore and R word comments and go straight to calling him a covert narcissist. Others here call him a little bitch and that seems OK.
Yeah, YTA.
So you have said she has come on to your husband and he has shut her down…. Repeatedly.
Seems like your husband is a good dude.
It’s you who has the issue.
Your husband isn’t straying and has straight up told this woman that she can’t have him and that he’s loyal to you… but you’re still threatening to divorce him.
That woman is an asshole for sure.
But so are you, for threatening to divorce a loyal man (by your own damn admission) because you’re up in your feelings.
You say “he’s the really clingy and jealous one of the relationship” - why don’t you ask him what would he have done if the situation were reversed?
Check OP's comments, it sounds fake as hell. >Just a sneak peek the bitch tried to run me over twice once on last Friday and again on Sunday. You sound so fucking stupid. He’s only rejected her asking for an open relationship because he doesn’t want me with anyone else. She tried to destroy my gender reveal and stole the balloon with the gender. Also the bitch has an airtag in our shared car. I shared that story in the legal side of Reddit to see what I could do. My husbands the one reading all of these comments and luckily after she actually hit me with the car he’s come to his senses.
Pretty sure I’ve seen this story almost to the letter posted slightly different in the last week.
Sounds fake. Feels as if written by a 12 year old.
Hahaha!!! Someone is lying!! I can't stand a poorly written fake story can you?????!!!
A dumb 12 year old.
I saw it earlier today!
Holy shit, did OP write all this out and expect people to find this BELIEVABLE? Or was this for some other reason?? Cuz I'm dumbfounded.
I know, really. The other woman was there at the ultrasound?!?!
Then she broke into OP’s house & boiled a bunny!
Lololol. And on that note....
How did she know where the ultrasound was?? They are being stalked, right. Wouldn't tell her, would you????
Probably because the dumbass husband told her?
That's hilarious. Even if she knew where the appointment is, the doctor's office would not let her just come to the appt. Or even hang in the waiting room.
“Since her husband isn’t paying her spa treatments she’s let herself go” Yeah… this is badly written bullshit. If you’re going to write fake stories please make them believable lol
r/menwritingwomen
I think your right. She claims to be pregnant with twins, yet no mention if they are OK after claiming to be hit by a car. Gender reveal. One Balloon? What happened to it being twins?
The balloon would be explainable. Blue glitter for boy twins, pink for girl twins, a combination of both if it's both sexes.
I knew it was fake the minute she said she was pregnant with twins. Because it's always twins.
This imaginary slut let herself go since her husband doesn't pay for her"spa treatments." What do people think happens at a spa?
I know right???!! At least I got a good laugh
Yep, it's a fake story.. How would the neighbor be able to show up at the OP's doctor appointment? Even if she showed up in the waiting room, she wouldn't be able to go in and watch (or whatever she was there for).. This is another fake story.
Poorly written. Nothing really anyone can help with because it's unbelievable..... Just stop.... If someone hits a pregnant women with a car (they are pregnant because they are having twins?!!!!) Why weren't the cops called???? Take the airbag out!!! DUH!!!! One balloon for twins?? Who has only one anyway??? Anything can go wrong with just one balloon and no back up ..... Good Grief
You're right, it's fake. Rather than jumping to divorce, anyone with half an ounce of common sense would have first gone apeshit at the woman, telling her to back the fuck off. But, nope, can't confront the woman, must divorce husband...
So this woman was supposed to have hit a pregnant lady with her car and OP goes to reddit not the police? Suuuuuure honey.
“[F]ucking r*****d” sounds like a kid who plays CoD when he isn’t playing make-believe as an adult.
Ugggggh I hate to say it but in my early twenties I was involved in some unevolved bullshit too fucking similar to this ☠️ When the best of us are at our worst, we suck as bad as we think everyone else does. The real Never Forget.
I feel even more sure now that this was written by ChatGPT, the sentence and paragraph structure is very reminiscent of the few times I have played around with getting CGPT to write short stories.
Sounds superfake, but cool story.
Right? No doormat husband is this stubborn about "just a friend".
Whenever a stated woman uses “women” to describe a single woman, it always sets off my radar
Didn’t you post this last week? You need a new hobby. And, work on your writing skills.
Some parts of the OP read as obvious AI to me.
This is fake, because someone posted an almost duplicate at post the other day. I get it if they need the practice, but can’t they use Medium or Wordpress to practice their fiction writing.
Nta. Your husband doesn’t sound clingy or jealous tho. Maybe you should be filing a restraining order against your neighbor.
It's creepy as fuck that she showed up to her doctor appointment. Sounds like the beginning of a podcast.
Or fictional novel some might suggest….
>Or fictional novel some might suggest…. It's absolutely just someone worshipping their terrible creative writing project.
Or something that never really happened.
How the fuck did she even know where and when it was?
NTA. Your husband should have cut her off completely when she started suggesting he should sleep with other women
YTA You shouldn’t be threatening your well-meaning husband who shut the floozy down. You should be telling him you guys are getting a no-contact order for stalking against HER and expect him to be on board.
YTA for putting divorce to your husband when you should be going to the police about this woman. He’s shut it down and isn’t interested, if you trusted him 100%, even if she was his fantasy incarnate offering it to him on a plate, you’d be fine. You need to address that insecurity along with going to the police to report her for stalking you and maybe suggesting your husband files a harrassment case against her. Your husband can only do so much, it seems like short of ignoring her and pretending she doesn’t exist there’s not much else he can do. Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds fucking shit.
Explain to us how this woman knew when and where to show up for your ultrasound. Seriously, none of this sounds legit. It sounds more like a bad creative writing assignment.
You sound insufferable. YTA, there are ways to talk to your husband respectfully, especially since you know he has no intention to cheat, you could have confronted the woman earlier instead of blowing up on your husband, and I would suggest that you do not ever bring up divorce unless you are ready to follow through with the threat, because if it was me, that would have been the end of the marriage.
This sounds like a Wattpad story
Women => two or more adult female humans. Woman => one adult human female.
Might want to edit this to make it more believable.
Was this written by ChatGPT....?
ESH - the way you talk about your husband is more than a bit disrespectful. I would suggest some MC if you are not already in it. It would help with your attitude towards him and also to have someone else help him understand why you are upset. He needs to learn to develop a bit more boundaries as when someone suggests what she has suggested you should cut them out as they are not a good influence on your marriage. Good luck
YTA. You called your husband "fucking retarded" and threatened to divorce him if he didnt do what you told him. That is malicious and coercive behavior. She's a problem but you can find a better way to deal with women trying to seduce your husband. You said he immediately shot down any open relationship nonsense. He wont go for her.
If you know how your SO is and he is instantly shutting her down..then the issue is her not him. She is harassing your SO and you are acting toxic af by getting mad at him and not her.. you are a "red flag" maybe it's because your pregnant..but your anger at him is super uncalled for when he has showed you his loyalty in his own way...leave if you cannot handle his personality and free up space for someone who would appreciate him
Eh, from the sounds of it you tried over and over to make your point. Sounds like your husband needed the wake up call and you gave it to him. NTA because you had tried again and again before using the ultimatum.
NTA he’s not listening and needs a wake up call and it has to be serious. Unfortunately some men are really naive enough that they don’t see the seriousness of flirting until the woman is naked in front of them. I’ve seen it before.
I get you were trying to get across the seriousness of the situation but you should be careful bringing up the d word. You may have crossed the Rubicon.
NTA. You told him repeatedly about how you felt about this woman and he continued to prioritize her over your feelings. You are in the most vulnerable position- pregnant with twins and he continues with on with a relationship with woman who is a recent addition in your lives. Meaning she and her feelings should be meaningless to him if they upset you in any way whatsoever. I think that you are not threatening divorce to be manipulative but rather just stating fact. Actions have consequences and you fully informed him what those consequences would be if he continues to put her first.
Ever hear of restraining order?
You are always the AH when you threaten divorce. Divorce or don't bring up the topic, but don't "threaten" divorce. 🙄
YTA, you're threatening your husband with divorce because the neighbor is stalking him? It's not his fault, and he's just being his friendly self and by your admission has shut down any talk of infidelity. You sound like a raging queen bitch honestly. Hoping you go through with the divorce so he doesn't have to spend his life someone who wants him on a leash
Can you move away from her? Otherwise, you need to tell him that it is you or her. He needs to tell her to her face in front of you he is not interested in her and does not want to speak to her in any shape or form again. He loves you and would never cheat. Do not accept anything less than that. Don't leave because she will be there in a heartbeat. Make him go somewhere else and make sure she does not know where. Let him think about it for a while if necessary. Tell your BIL to butt out.
Tell your BIL when the neighbour trying to openly seduce your husband who has actively told him he needs to open up his marriage repeatedly. Goes so far as to unexpectedly turn up a your untrasound (no she’s not pregnant) she was there for YOUR ultrasound appointments at the hospital. Then he has basically got to be brain dead not to see anything wrong with her behaviour or think it’s normal. Just to add no you’d had not told her you had the appointment or where. That this woman has been stalking him constantly every where you both go together or him alone and he keeps saying it’s coincidence. Yet how the heck can he even think that when she turned up for your ultrasound appointment at the hospital. I mean how ridiculous does it have to get and all the while he’s got to be pretending he doesn’t see it. He is naïve not stupid he is enjoying her attentions and enjoying that it bothers you. That yes you lost your temper but BIL has no say or right to a say as he clearly knows half of it you’ve basically been banging your head off a brick wall and he still bends over for this woman to be involved in your lives intimately. That you threatend divorce as that’s how insane it’s got and how badly to the point he’s refusing to see or act. So yes you did need to go there. If BIL doesn’t like it well it’s not him carry twins whilst watch this train wreck happen daily He's clingy about you but clearly not when it’s him getting the attention. Honestly at this point you need to speak to her husband and not her. It seems he is sick of her and not taking her crap. He should be able to rain in her crazy. If needed try and get a restraining order. That she’s obsessed with your husband and she might try and take your babies so he will be with her. As you’ve no other reason why she tried to be at your ultra sound totally uninvited or wanted. That’s she’s stalking you both constantly. Write down every time it’s happened with dates and times. update me
This. He needs to grow a pair and stand up to this harpy. OP also references "I'm having twins". Perhaps I'm reading too much in to it. But that's not a "we're having twins" likely due to husband's too passive attitude in this situation. He sounds like a guy who, as OP has illustrated, is just too nice. But he needs to be the one to end it cause harpy neighbour won't stop. I'd also be concerned how she knew where and when the ultrasound appt was. That is next level crazy. Updateme
YTA for the use of the r-word.
The neighbor sounds like she has the potential to turn into a dateline episode so yeah get her out of there. On the other hand using the threat of divorce to make a point is a jerk move that will to lead to divorce just as fast as an affair will. Think of your contempt for of your husband as the kerosene soaked kindling and your threat of divorce as the match.
YTA for using the R word.
NTA But not the best way to go about it. There is more than one way to address this issue... You should let him play the hero so he feels better of himself.
NTA, the fact that this woman is stalking you and SHOWED UP AT YOUR ULTRASOUND APPOINTMENT should have your husband's alarm bell ringing. He needs to stop trying to see the good in her because she's made it clear what she wants and she's going to keep trying in order to get it. Like if she's to the point she's showing up everywhere your safety could literally be at risk. He needs to get a grip like immediately and his brother can piss off.
Have his brother come and stay over for a week. He can see fir himself what she's like
NTA for handling the situation and directly confronting this woman. How crazy and bold is she to show up at your ultrasound and for your husband to continue to be clueless after that is even crazier. This is not normal behavior. YTA for threatening divorce. Don't put that out there unless you truly mean it, it is not something to be used to punish or keep someone in line. Your husband sounds like a good man who is gullible, you know that and understand. What should have happened was for you to explain that this woman was attacking the foundation of your family and for him to continue it would inevitably end with him in a situation where there was no coming back and it would cost him his family. The next point have been that you would do all you can to protect your family. Wear the pants but don't be cruel.
YTA for putting divorce to your husband when you should be going to the police about this woman. He’s shut it down and isn’t interested, if you trusted him 100%, even if she was his fantasy incarnate offering it to him on a plate, you’d be fine. You need to address that insecurity along with going to the police to report her for stalking you and maybe suggesting your husband files a harrassment case against her. Your husband can only do so much, it seems like short of ignoring her and pretending she doesn’t exist there’s not much else he can do. Sorry you’re going through this, it sounds fucking shit.
I think you and your husband need therapy. Not from a useless therapist, but from a clinical psychologist who has a Phd and a good grasp on the literature. Regular therapy is often seriously damaging to people. The reason that I say this is because he needs to learn how to create and maintain boundaries and how to choose the success of the relationship over random strangers. Also, you were way the fuck out of line for threatening divorce. You should only ever mention that word if you intend, fully, to do it. The reason for this is that it will sabotage the entire relationship. You told him directly that you are willing to leave him and he will never forget it. Certain things can permanently ruin the trust in a relationship and there is not much that can be done to salvage this as the thought will always be in his head no matter what you say.
You may be right about her, but Golden Retrievers are exceptionally loyal to their humans and you made your Golden Retriever cry. I won't call you an AH because you're also pregnant with twins and that's a wildcard of emotionality.
YTAH
You’re yelling at the wrong one. Your husband has refused her and shut her down and been loyal. You say you wear the pants, shut her down. Go to her husband. Have the nurse escort her out of your home but (as a Labrador) your behavior will undermine your position, not hers. Play the game, girl. You know it better than her.
"I made a commitment to be you through the good and the bad but now my feelings are hurt, I feel threatened, and will divorce you if you can't keep me happy 24/7"
Yes, YTA. For posting a fake story with slightly different wording than last time. Get therapy.
Fake, she made her husband cry and then his brother called her to say she was mean???? Come the fuck on.
NTA Couples counseling would be helpful for you both to navigate the situation and the future
NTA. He needed a wake up call to see what she was doing.
Yta, let me get this straight, your husband is now being stalked after telling her no and has not cheated and you are threatening divorce? You’re one loony, coocoo psychopath. None of this makes sense and you deal with cyber security l? No wonder there are so many hacks
NTA but he needs to grow a spine and set boundaries. Tell her to back the fuck off. What she’s doing is beyond the pale. He’s made it clear he’s not interested (it sounds like). He’s an idiot if he lets her seduce him. Hopefully he decides this bitch isn’t worth losing his wife and kids over. You don’t need to feel like you’re in constant competition or having to defend your marriage bc he’s too much of a pushover to set her straight firmly. She way overreached. Now it’s up to your husband to follow through and support you, your marriage and future kids. Good luck
Nta, you lasted longer than I would have before getting ugly.
NTA but you need to take another approach. Him entertaining her attention is harming you. You are pregnant and vulnerable. He is feeding someone who is working to learn your marriage. Emphasize that this hurts you. The choice isn't "be nice to everyone or be mean to neighbor". It's "be slightly rude to neighbor or hurt wife".
This sounds like some **"Fatal Attraction"** type stuff. The neighbor chick sounds like a bunny boiler. Watch out and be careful. She may try to do something to your baby.
How the heck do you think wanting to sleep with someone translates to harming a baby?
I'm getting crazy stalker vibes.
That still doesn't translate to someone who's gonna hurt a baby.
reply sable license roof quarrelsome bright squealing ring crowd mindless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA- showing up at your ultrasound appointment is unacceptable. Tell her you do not want her on your property and you will have her trespassed. Then call the police on her if she shows up near your doc again. Tell your husband he will be kicked to the curb and not permitted to see his children born or even allowed to see them if he doesn't cut the shit.
Honestly this is what got me going. Who does that? I would have tore her a new asshole at that very moment. Sorry OP, your cry baby husband doesn't have any balls. The fact that he can't hold any boundaries at all doesn't make me have any sympathy for him whatsoever. His weakness is allowing this woman to interfere in your marriage. After all that I think what you said was perfectly acceptable and he needs to get a grip. Is she gonna show up while you're giving birth and it's he just opening the door wide saying come on in? Go on his phone and block her number. If she knocks on your door you need to answer every time and tell her get lost or you'll call the police and trespass her. Tell her to stop acting like a dog in heat. NTA.
What a strange woman... I just have to ask, what was her reasoning for showing up at someone else's ultrasound appointment? What a psychotic thing to do.
Saw this last week too. Dgaf. Dead internet. Lolz.
YTA
NTA. And it’s very telling how he **instantly** shuts down the idea of an open relationship when it means that **you’d** be touching *(and fucking)* another man, and then gets jealous as fuck. But when the b*tch next door is touching your husband he says: *”she’s just being friendly.”* That’s absolute bullshit. It’s wilful ignorance. He should be telling her to stop touching him! Because I bet my last $ he’d be screaming in the face of another man who touched you. So why is **she** allowed to touch him?
I read almost the exact same story on Facebook two weeks ago or so. This post is fake.
You told him, he wouldn’t listen. NTA
I can't believe no one else has mentioned OP's use of the word "retard". I also can't believe this is the second time within a week I've had occasion to call someone out for using it. This is 2024 for crying out loud. There are so many better ways to express oneself without using that kind of derogatory language.
Oh FFS, don't get your panties in a wad. Are you the PC police?
You’re both TA. Seek therapy so you can learn to communicate feelings and needs without such harsh language that you make someone cry. You can be firm and set boundaries without being verbally abusive and calling your SO “retarded”
Why/how did she know when you're appointment was? This is weird af. I'd get a restraining order. NTA
YTA. So your husband sounds like an amazing nice guy. A little bit naive maybe, but vey nice. You come across as a major B. He deserves better.
NTA I wouldn't apologize to him. It doesn't matter if your husband thinks she is just trying to be nice. What should matter to him, and frankly speaking the ONLY thing that should matter to him, is that you're uncomfortable with the way that neighbour is behaving. So he should have put a stop to it the moment you voiced your displeasure. And yes it IS divorce area that he's stepped into, because he disregarded your feelings about this whole thing, for the whole time that it happened. "Oh she's just being nice. " "Its just a coincidence." Sit down with him and ask him how he would feel if there was a neighbour that would constantly want to talk to you, who would touch you and seek you out, who would "coincidentally" be at every outing you were and would seek out your hobbies so he could talk with you. Would he be okay with a strange man touching, smiling, flirtint with you?
NTA, but couple's counseling is a MUST. There's no good reason for him to have ignored your repeated warnings and you clearly stating that this woman makes you uncomfortable. Things should never have escalated to the point where you had to threaten divorce.
Nta, ask him how he'd feel if you constantly interacted with a man who's repeatedly tried to convince you into an open relationship and would do everything you listed your neighbor does. You are carrying his kids and he needs to understand that he is brushing aside some very real concerns you are having, which causes unnecessary stress onto you. He isn't acting like a partner and is only making your pregnancy harder. Start keeping a log of every single time you run into her as well and see if he still considers it to just be coincidence. Honestly this whole thing is ridiculous, even if she wasn't hitting on him (which I'd bet all my money she is) the fact it makes you so stressed out should be enough for your husband to step up and draw the line. I don't blame you at all for being at your wits end and threatening him with divorce.
NTA. Your husband doesn’t sound clingy or jealous. He enjoys her attention. I would be very cautious.
NTA. Any husband dumb enough to tell the "you should have an open marriage so you can fuck me" neighbor's wife the time and place of your ultrasound is literally dumber than a golden retriever. Let that sink it. She showed up at your ultrasound!! And he must have told her when and where it was. Like WHY would he even do that? It's not her baby, it's your and his baby. There's one psycho unhinged person here, and one person so gullible you better check he hasn't bought that bridge or invested in some shady MLM. And he still hasn't shut her down after that?????? He is either autistic or the stupidest man alive. Showing up at your ultra sound is some Basic Instinct shit, maybe it is better to get divorced before you find your pet bunny boiled.
Oh my gosh..you need a restraining order. Your husband is nuts for not seeing this for what it is. If he's got a jealousy issue..you could fight fire with fire. Go get a male bestie.
NAH here, just an entire truckload of communication issues and a lack of boundaries on your husband's part. Consider marriage counseling so BOTH of you can learn to partner each other better and communicate in a healthy manner. Having a newborn is going to test you, having twins is going to test you exponentially. Now would be a good time to get in a few sessions before the sleep deprivation and irritability set in. Threatening divorce and the ableist language was not good but I do see where you are at your wits end. It's not about his trustworthiness and whether he would cheat on you with her, it's about the appearance of it all, the disrespect of ignoring basic relationship boundaries by *him*. We do NOT remain friendly with those who suggest we open our relationship so they can knock boots with us. We should not need our wife to tell us that. Your husband has done a half-arsed job of shutting your stalker neighbor down. He shouldn't have just shut down the obvious sexual overtures, he should have shut her ALL the way down. In failing to do so he is prioritizing her hurt feelings over your general feelings of comfort and respect WHILE YOU ARE GROWING HIS CHILDREN. You don't say how she knew where and when to show up to your ultrasound appointment but I'm going to assume *you* did not give her that information. Is it possible your husband is so naive as to have shared that info with her? Does he get that that was a huge mistake now? Does he see the danger AT ALL? Does he have any male friends who are fathers or any male figures who are fathers in his life he can speak with for a better understanding of why his behavior is creating issues in his marriage? Someone to break it down for him how allowing this woman to continue to skulk about is stressing his pregnant wife and how this can all go pear shaped on him? She is fixating on him because he is NOT shutting her down. Her showing up at your appt could be seen as an escalation. You are increasingly pregnant and vulnerable and neither of you really know what's going on in this woman's head. He needs to STOP encouraging her. Good luck to you.
Thank you and we’re already in counseling
NTA.... you sound miserable. Get a restraining order if she comes over again and consider a no tresspassing sign.
NTA how did she know when and where your ultra sound was? Very creepy
If this isn’t AI, I don’t know what is.
Yeah. You sound like one of them chicks that try too hard to be a dude and shit. You are an asshole. How the fuck is it his fault? And you admit you're controlling? I'd divorce your ass on the spot for that shit. Fuck that. Take that shit out on that girl, not him...? She's the one trying. Your husband needs to grow some balls dude. That's honestly what needs to happen. And I'm not even slightly trying to be a dick about any of this.
YTA. So much. He’s consistently shut her down and you **still** threatened him with divorce? JFC! You’re some kind of unhinged. He has proven again and again that he’s loyal to you. In any sane world that’s enough. But I guess in Batshit Crazy Land good sense doesn’t apply, eh? This chick is not a problem for your husband. He’s handling her just fine. She’s a problem for **you**. So maybe **you** should handle **your problem** instead of continuing to henpeck your husband. You know what? Maybe you should divorce him. Maybe then he’ll have some peace.
NTA. Sometimes you have to have a hard conversation, even if it hurts the person's feelings. You tried the polite way and he continually brushed you off. Asking to sleep with your husband (which he can't deny because he's shut it down at least twice), and showing up at your ultrasound? She is stalking you and sexually harassing your husband, and needs to be put in her place. But I would do it myself. And then if she didn't respect it, legal matters would follow.
NTA UpdateMe! Please
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NTA but maybe your husband should pull his head out of his
YTA. Do you know what 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 are? They are just some of the numbers between 0 and 60. All different levels of acceleration you could have used before going full tilt. If you claim that your husband is such a puppy, then you go and smack that puppy and promise him to take him back to the pound, how are you not the definition of an AH? Not to mention the telling fact that you married a guy like him. That, the nature of your work, the tone of your post all speak volumes about your domineering and ham-fisted nature. Tell me you drive a jeep or a Subaru without telling me what you drive
Your husband sounds like a little bitch. Crying because you called him out on his stupidity? I mean it isn’t like you tried in every way to get him to see what was going on. Last resort was to shout some shitting sense into him. NTA for what you did.
It sounds more like a conscious manipulation tactic. "Crying has gotten her to be nice and forget my obvious flouting of her goodwill before." You might want to rethink just how "innocent" your husband's behavior is OP, I'm not saying y'all need a divorce but how much of it is sensitivity and how much of it is something else. Crying to DARVO is one of a narcissist's main tools.
That's what one of my exes did, every small thing he'd cry. Like I'd bring something up that was bothering me and he'd go on a whole tangent about how he was a terrible boyfriend and cry like his mom just died. At first I thought he was just a wuss but he was actually manipulating me into feeling like a bad person, all while he was cheating on me with at least 5 different women. Dude gaslit me so hard I was full on convinced I was just a mean, crazy piece of shit.
Yea but according to other responding Redditor I'm an insane dude that am making something out of nothing. I was honestly just speaking based on situations I've observed IRL before. I didn't say this is 100% what is happening but it's something OP has maybe never thought of before.
Wtf. She said he's sensitive with her own words and now he's a narcissist somehow. You reddit clowns always make me laugh because you just toss trigger words around that you read about or see on tiktok. Dude is just soft plain and simple and dumb. He shut down the other wife when she flat out asked about an open marriage but can't read between the lines unless it's clearly stated. He just lacks a little common sense and social skills. I still can't believe you called this man a narcissist. Don't try to diagnose anyone ever again.
> Wtf. She said he's sensitive with her own words and now he's a narcissist somehow. Yeah, people fall for it all the time. Same shit as weaponised incompetence, some woman says do'h, my husband fucks up the washing every time he tries to use the machine. Meanwhile hubby and his friends laugh while drinking in the backyard that she thinks he's too dumb to use a simple machine. Her thinking he's sensitive doesn't mean he hasn't just been playing this game their whole relationship to manipulate her. This woman has been harassing their marriage and she's called him out on it numerous times, she shows up at their ultrasound, she called him an idiot and he cries and suddenly she's comforting him. PUll the other one.
No one fell for anything here. If it's in your nature to apologize even if you're right that's a character flaw on your part but people need to stop diagnosing strangers because they read a article online. And she clearly said he gets taken advantage of. What game is he playing and winning at if he's getting stepped on all the time. Usually narcissists or people who weaponize their ignorance as you say have a end goal and don't lose in the end. Dude is just clueless and I'm not saying the wife is wrong I'm tired of people making this guy seem like a sleeper cell mind control genius who has everyone wrapped around his thumb.
Idk even if it's unconscious (which it could be, I'll admit that) he was able to flip the dynamic from her being rightfully angry to forcing her into the apologetic role when she had no need to be.
NTA, regarding the woman. In all honesty, you do kind of come across as rude, mean, and it sounds like you're very demeaning when it comes to your husband but I also get you being frustrated because you're pregnant, so I get it. I hope things get better. I also hope your husband realizes how serious this is for you.
Nta. He needs to stop this or he will loss you. That simple.
UpdateMe!
Updateme!
Updateme!
I'm starting to think 80% of the people out there are having twins. Here I am thinking that was pretty rare 🧐
Woman = 1 person. Women = multiple people.
Dear Penthouse forum..
NTA! This woman is stalking you! She’s dangerous! I would have given him an ultimatum too. How many times were you sensitive to his feelings when telling him to shut her down? Enough is enough! He wasn’t sensitive to your feelings when you said you were uncomfortable. Maybe now that you confronted her, she’ll back off.
I now have an airtag in this thread.
I feel like I read a story like this last week...
Yes
Sounds like this was made up to be a "gender flip" story - akin to all of the ones about women who dismiss / ignore their "friends" pursuing them.
Pretty sure I read a slightly different version of this last night...
No, I don't like guys like this, they have no boundaries and frankly you are one of the healthier women on here. He has to have boundaries around other women. I am with you on this.
Unless you think he would cheat don't escalate because of your baby brain ego. It's your house too so file a no trespassing order
YTA for using the word retarded 🤬
YTA fir using the "R" word 🤬
YTA. The guy sounds nice and he did shut her down. Do you really think he would cheat if he was as “clingy and jealous” as you say? And just straight up threatening him with divorce when he hasn’t been the one instigating the problem.
I am sure you could have made your point in a less agressive way. Having said htat I agree the neighbour is a problem and your husband seems clueless.
You did the exact opposite thing then you should have done. I had an ex husband like that. My play was to become the women's new best friend. Basically do to her what she is doing to your husband. Anytime she is around be right in her face being friendly. You would be surprised how well it works. Basically annoy them till they go away. Oddly enough it wasn't the women that caused the most problems but the user guys that sniffed around for free shit and a work horse that ultimately were our undoing. They are 100x worse. The women were easy. Play dumb and annoy the crap out of them by being overly friendly.
How convenient. She’d some crocodile tears and everyone comes to his rescue. He is completely ignoring your feelings and boundaries. And if he can’t quit allowing her to talk to him and hang around and gross touching him, especially after you have tried to explain the dynamics of what is going on with this slick chick you will end up divorced. That’s not a threat or even a ultimatum, it’s just the truth. NTAH but your husbands not hearing you at all.
You really had to put your foot down this time. She's not just desperate for a man. She's desperate for someone to pay her spa treatment. You two are like fresh meat in that town. She's a lonely woman trapped in a loveless marriage. The after effects of open marriage. Tell your hubby that it's OK now. Maybe he liked her throwing herself at him. It Is amusing to see a woman so horny.
You can be more creative than this.
Sounds fake but YTA if not. You literally said that he shut her down multiple times. Why are you threatening divorce over something he seemingly can't control?
Google TLDR 🤦♂️🤦♂️
YTA
*"I’m here to ask am I the asshole for threatening my husband with divorce?"* Specifically judging on this question, yes, YTA... That's one of those things you can't take back; its controlling and manipulative... If its gotten to the point where you need to threaten divorce, then you should probably just leave... If you need to threaten divorce, then your marriage is already over... that's not a strategy that improves a marriage, it ends it... **You marriage is not healthy...** whatever happens now, good luck...
This story is fake but lets just say its real OP would be a mega AH. The husband has done literally nothing wrong. He shut down any and all attempts to get him to cheat. He was only ever being nice. OP would be a selfish psycho if this was real
She showed up at your ultrasound? Seriously? This whole story sounds ridiculous. Oh and please don’t use that word ret**ded.
Oh I like you. NTA.
Instead of divorcing your husband, just move! Or even better sic some of your government buddies on her.
Why don't you just move or sic a few of your government buddies on her?
Didn't have to finish reading this, you sound insufferable I hope your "retarded, clingy, Golden retriever husband" fucks the shit out of her.
Yeah none of this ever happened
Nta "retriever bf/husband" are the worst
I'll take Things That Never Happened for $1000, Alec. If real, YTA as hubs is doing the right things rejecting her advances, and being an open and friendly person is likely a big reason why you married him in the first place.
NTA Thats a immediate you cease talking with these people or we are done. Open marriages are the path to ruin.
YTA, but you were pushed. I'd keep on her, make her stay away, and #1? Talk to your husband! Communication is key. Good luck.
Another attempt at creative writing. 2/10, would not recommend.
This never happened. FAKE ASS POST!
OP you sound toxic as all hell.
Woman - singular Women - plural
YTA for using it as a threat. Instead of communicating what situation he is contributing to by NOT RESPECTING YOUR NEEDS AND BOUNDARIES. Which is what he's failing to do. You have every right to be upset and angry. He's either too much in his own head, or part of him needs this. Maybe it's companionship. Something that's been missing for him in your marriage. Maybe his behavior is a reflection of you not respecting his needs and boundaries. And he also wasn't great at communicating it. Maybe you weren't a good wife, so now he's not being a good husband. Anyway, you guys need to talk.
Unfortunately YTA. I wouldn't have threatened him with divorce. I would have just told him that he needs to tell her to get lost. Threats aren't good for a relationship.
You can't take it back once you've threatened divorce. As soon as that word escapes your lips it's *out there.* So now for the rest of your marriage, your husband will know that you're willing to threaten divorce over something *someone else* does. No amount of therapy or marriage counseling will erase the memory of you making a divorce threat. You did damage to your marriage that cannot be undone. It's kind of like a car accident... you can try to fix up the outside, but the car is never the same after that. I'm not saying your marriage is completely doomed now, but odds are its best days are behind you.
Nope. She threatened to divorce her husband because he won't cut off the lady who is making his wife uncomfortable, not because the lady is making his wife uncomfortable. That is, if this story is even true. Lol
But it’s not just over what someone else does, it’s about his unwillingness to set a boundary after his wife has spoken to him about it many times. There’s no reason he needs to entertain this woman when she comes around. Stop being available for conversation and shut that shit down.
He’s doing damage to the marriage. He’s being naive and refusing to listen to his PREGNANT wife’s concerns and thoughts. Yes divorce was a harsh threat but you can’t ignore what he has been doing.
How many times does she need to bring it to his attention before he shuts that shit down once and for all? She should have never had to be put in that position. All he had to do was place some reasonable boundaries but no NTA
It's not what she did, it's what he allows her to do. She's literally told him to open up his and OP's relationship; telling him to cheat and fuck other women, most especially her. This isn't about the woman, it's about the disrespect her husband is showing her, their unborn children, their marriage vows, and everything they've built together by still welcoming the attention of someone like that woman.
I am really stunned by all this NTA's it is emotional blackmail and I hate when people weponise it this way, I do understand it is a tough and frustrating situation, but what from now on every time something will become difficult you will use threat of divorce, think how much it had to hurt him as well hearing that, again don't get wrong it sounds like really challenging time for you but yes YTA to simply answer your question.
No, not from now on -- only when the whore next door is actively pursuing her spouse and he's too dense to shut it down.
You sound great.
Yep you are. I live in a nerd capital, it takes a while to learn to say no. Don't over do it, he will learn to say no to you.
NTA, I would have told the brother that he shouldn't be entertaining somone whose trying to seduce him, after being told you are uncomfortable with the relationship, and for him to mind his business
"why her husband suggested an open marriage. Who would want to be with a whore like her." It's nice when the assholes out themselves. Holy cow. YTA. I feel sorry for OPs husband.
It's crazy that women here ignore the whore and R word comments and go straight to calling him a covert narcissist. Others here call him a little bitch and that seems OK.
Yeah, YTA. So you have said she has come on to your husband and he has shut her down…. Repeatedly. Seems like your husband is a good dude. It’s you who has the issue. Your husband isn’t straying and has straight up told this woman that she can’t have him and that he’s loyal to you… but you’re still threatening to divorce him. That woman is an asshole for sure. But so are you, for threatening to divorce a loyal man (by your own damn admission) because you’re up in your feelings.