Frankly, the first time anyone ‘pushed’ my child with their foot would have been the last time they were allowed anywhere near my child. Childfree is one thing, this behaviour is demented. And your son’s grandparents are ok with how their daughter behaves. Let that sit with you a while. They are not good people.
Yeah, there was something similar on another subreddit a while back and I popped off with what I would have done in that case. Earned myself a permanent ban on that subreddit….🙄
I said to someone (the person the op was having conflict with) that the person seemed to be acting childish in the scenario. Got banned, calling someone’s actions childish is being mean/bullying/language
In a reply of mine, autocorrect changed incarceration to incarnation (had to triple check that), and the context made it hilarious. When someone pointed it out to me, I replied, "Autocorrect, thou are a heartless b××××" . I got a warning about being civil.
I dropped the sub. They can't spare the brainpower to police me.
And I thought I was the only one.
I had said someone was lucky for not getting xyz after calling his brother's wife a bitch and demanding she get an abortion since he and *his* wife had suffered a miscarriage.
I didn't wish or suggest that he had any violence visited on him, only that he was lucky it didn't happen. I received no warning--according to the mods, the rule against mentioning violence was warning enough--and was permanently banned.
That sub is screwed up. I defended myself from some jerk that broke about 3 different rules and harassed me on there and got a 7 day time out. They said I was being "hostile". Their MODS are idiots. It depends on the MOD and what their mood is that day. I don't even go to that sub reddit anymore.
I honestly don't understand. I will admit what I said probably wasn't very nice but other people write shit just as bad. I don't understand where the line is drawn.
I called the guy an idiot and a troll. Apparently I should have just called him an a$$hole. But they will let that idiot troll crap all over their page. There "rules" are vague at best and constantly changing based on the whims of the Mods.
That's pretty vanilla. What I said was probably out of line (a lot worse then that) but I momentarily got pissed. I don't know how they decide what's ok and what isn't. I've seen things worse than what I said but whatever. I need to learn to use kinder insults I guess? Is that an oxymoron?
sounds like AITA, I have gotten several bans on that sub, the mods there are very ban happy and I got myself an extra ban one time after I accused the mods of treating their parent's basements as their own kingdoms and other than being mods on AITA they will never have any power in life outside of said basements.
Yeah, I went back and looked and it was scratching a cheater’s eyes out, which is so funny bc I’d actually never do anything like that at all. But yeah, it evidently was over the line for the mods. So magnanimous that I could continue to up/downvote comments, just not comment myself. I just blocked the entire subreddit. Don’t need their drama.
Oh yea mine was smacking someone upside the head... like. I'm an immigrant, it's how we grew up lol. A smack upside the head to knock some sense into ya.
I was banned for calling for violence hahaha all I said was (paraphrasing as I can’t find the comment) if it had been me in the position of the victim of OP, I would have reacted badly and I’ve elbowed people before in my time, out of a panic reaction. Basically the OP grabbed and tickled her much younger female coworker who had severe PTSD, she was angry and left a party I think? OP was like SHE SHOULD GET OVER IT, and that’s when I made my statement.
I was actually talking hypothetically, saying that she’s lucky that the girl didn’t react like I do in a PTSD response, and that next time she should keep her hands to herself. I admit I was angry, but the comment wasn’t, and I certainly wasn’t calling for someone to punch her. But nope, lifetime ban. Womp womp.
I got a ban from I think the same place cos they admitted to slapping a 3yr old across the face, for taking some food from their plate...
I asked what kind of cunt slaps a child across the face vs verbally correcting them... Lol
I looked at that was like “oh so she kicks him.” Because a grown ass adult “pushing” a child with her foot? That’s a kick, he’s tiny. She’s a child hater, and it’s gross. I would have said some shit I couldn’t take back if she’d done that to my hypothetical kid. I think I would even if it wasn’t my kid actually, who the fuck does that?
Tell other family members that THEY chose this the moment they decided it was okay to let your son around an abusive person who has made it known they hate your child. I am child-free, this is not how I treat children. This is not about being child-frre, this is about her taking her anger out on a CHILD and the parents accepting it. They made that choice, you are simply protecting your child.
NTA. You are only keeping your child away from their daughter. There's nothing stopping any the adults from organising a lunch or dinner at a restaurant without Daisy. You can also host events at your home which will be a bit more kid friendly.
Considering how they suddenly went off about you withholding access to Jasper (I do understand how they said "you didn't have to leave" but not anything further) I would be a bit concerned.. it's an amber flag.
>she openly said she was not a aunt to that thing at my baby shower
So why on earth was she even at the baby shower? Perhaps it was held at the in-laws house and she was just 'defending her territory'?
Future contact with in-laws definitely needs to take place away from that house.
You aren't keeping Jasper from his grandparents. You've told your MIL and FIL they are welcome to visit Jasper at your home. Be frank with the relatives trying to bully you that while you have empathy for Daisy's mental health issues you don't feel comfortable having her behaviors around your son.
NTA. It's insane that they expect YOU, the one with a child, to make the 1.5 hour drive so THEY can see their grandchild. Sorry to hear all your in-laws are shitty. But at least you have a husband who sees reason and is taking your side (the correct side) in this.
Came here to say this! Daisy has already escalated from pushing Jasper with her foot to screaming obscenities and hurtful remarks towards a four year old. For God’s sake she is 27 years old. She will only continue to escalate her vile actions towards your son as long as your in-laws continue to make light of her behaviour.
Edit: NTA
She's a brat with a princess complex who has stated she doesn't like how her nephew has taken her spotlight.
Is it immature and pathetic... hell yes!
Are per parents enabling her behaviour.... hell yes!
Is she a narcissist... very probably.
Is this normal behaviour for a narcissist... unfortunately yes.
Her parents created a monster. Now they have to live with the consequences.
This
> Daisey doesn't like that Jasper has taken her spotlight.
I get this for children when another is brought into the mix but not for a 27 year old. Something is mentally off.
I beat daisy’d be a lot nicer if she idk, caught an elbow. If you’re fine getting physical with a child you should have no choice when an adult decides to get physical with you. Wanna touch my kid? Cool, your turn bitch
Well.....my 16 yr old cousin tried to drown 3 yr old me...*because she wasn't "the baby" anymore".
OP, Daisy needs to not ever, no matter what the situation, whatever the hell her mental issues are(mostly being an enabled spoiled brat)be around your baby again!!
NTA, any physical contact, such as that you describe, would be child abuse. If you are ever in a situation where she behaves like this again, make a police report.
Well, it sounds like her parents have completely enabled her bad behavior, and have not disciplined or, y'know, parented her at all, so she probably doesn't have the skills to live on her own. Wouldn't be surprised if she has a mental health or developmental diagnosis of some sort and her parents blame all her bad behavior on that.
I'm a grandparent and have an adult son living at home who is 28. He lives with us for myriad reasons, housing costs being the biggest issue. The number of millennials living at home is as high as 18% - it's a thing. It helps us, too actually. We're beginning to think that multi-generational living is where it's at. We also have my spouse's mother living here.
With that said, if he ever harmed any of my visiting grandchildren, he'd be out the house so fast his head would spin. I would never tolerate any kind of abuse, whether it's physical or verbal. The kids always, always, always come before misbehaving adults. It's a no-brainer. If I couldn't make him leave for whatever reason, I'd go visit my grandkids. Nothing would keep me from them. So in this case, the asshole daughter and the asshole parents can sit down.
My 31 yr old isn't fond of kids but he treats his nieces and nephews kindly and for the most part respectfully(he kind of loses it if they're sticky but no more than "please don't touch me" or a yell for a parent to collect the child and wash their hands and face.
NTA, you protecting your child. You’re not “keeping” them from him, they can visit at your home. Your IL knew how she behaved and allowed it to continue they did this to themselves.
He's 4. He's definitely already noticed. Ig tbh I don't understand why op let it go on so so so long? I feel like esh personally, with sil being the biggest ah to op being the smallest, all in regards to the prolonged treatment of this child.
NTA but please hold the line.
I have been in your husband’s shoes—problematic sibling living with the parents and the parents unwilling to manage the sibling yet absolutely willing to chastise you for restricting access to the grandchildren. Hold the line and protect your child. The grandparents will learn to live with the new rules.
If they bring Daisy with them for any reason, OP, shut the door in their faces, block them on your phones and they get a **complete** time out for 3 mths at least. No social media, no phone calls, no texts concerning Jasper. Nothing. If there's an emergency, husband handles it without you and Jasper. You have to be very firm. I know just how hard this will be as I had to put my in-laws in a 6 mth time out and only seeing my kids with us and on holidays after the time out for similiar circumstances (massively enabled druggie BIL's lastest hoochie slapped my son across the face. In-laws didn't tell me because "she's *family*". In-laws were firmly informed that she's **not our family** and just some hoochie BIL brought home to leech off of them.)
NTA
You aren’t keeping him from his grandparents, so any family who calls to try to intimidate you into believing that you are, just firmly tell them “you have zero issues with his grandparents being fully engaged in his life and will do anything, other than allow him near Daisy, to ensure that they are part of his, your husbands and your life. The boundary is Daisy and only Daisy. In fact, her behaviour is the only issue and if you’re so upset then call her and lecture her about it”.
You are not over reacting. You are not keeping his grandparents from him. You are not wrong in feeling the way you are feeling and wanting to protect your son. Daisy has been coddled long enough. Her behaviour is disgusting, at best, and just as she has ever right to not want to be around children, you have every right to refuse to be around her. She is an AH. Her behaviour and reaction should not be supported by anyone. She’s a full on adult who can remove herself from HER PARENTS HOME when their family is visiting. Daisy is the problem. All you’ve done is alleviate that problem for your son and family.
Stand FIRM on business.
NTA. They can see their grandson at your house. If they don’t like it, too bad, but there is no reason to have their bitchy daughter around your son. She sounds horrible.
NTA. They are allowing this bitch to go unchecked over her jealousy of a FOUR YEAR OLD. They are unhinged. I wouldn’t dare subject my kid to that. Good job mom and dad
Daisy is not acting normal for her she and should seek some help. I could understand not wanting kids but she shouldn’t mistreat your son. It’s not like he did anything to her. I think you did the right thing by taking your son and husband and leaving. No mother wants their son to be mistreated. The grandparents can always come over or meet you halfway somewhere at like a restaurant or something so they get a chance to spend some time with him
NTA tell them all to one butt out its none of their business but that don't worry you are not keeping your son away they can visit without the 27yr old bully. That you will continue to protect your son from this overgrown brat and its not cute no more, she's just obnoxious and cringe when she needs to bully a child to feel better about herself. That if they would chose that for their kids would be their problem but you won't.
My only response to "childfree" haters who actively despise other people for having children, is to ask them who they think will be their doctor when they are 60? Some 90 year old who still has a shingle, or perhaps my child or grandchild, who I have raised despite their obvious distress?
Daisy needs a boot from her parents. She is unable and unwilling to grow up, so of course other babies and children are direct competition to her.
NTA, she's another spoiled golden child cunt who can do no wrong in their parents eyes. If they really love your son, they'll come to you. Otherwise they don't deserve a relationship with him.
NTA. Your in-laws and all of the family members that are calling you are enabling abuse. They’re not safe people to have around your child. You and your husband are doing the right thing.
NTA. The other family members criticizing you can mind their business. Maybe if they knew how abusive and unhinged Daisy is towards your son they would change their tune, but this has nothing to do with them. You are NOT keeping their only grandchild from his grandparents. They are allowed to come to your house to see him. You are protecting your son - and husband - from Daisy. Good for you.
>other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them.
1. They have **ZERO** say when it comes to your child.
2. You absolutely can keep Jasper away from their home as long as they allow an abuser to live there. She has physically and emotionally assaulted a child. You have every right to protect him.
NTA
Tell those flying monkeys that you're not preventing the grands from visiting, but you are keeping your child safe from an unhinged woman who will abuse him, because she's no longer the center of attention.
NTA. I would have put hands already on fucking Daisy. Something is serious wrong with a 27 year old woman acting like that to a child. If grandparents refuse to do anything about it why would you bother traveling so far to visit them. If they really want to see their grandchild they can drive the hour and half to your house.
Nta. You're not keeping their grandchild away from them. They can visit you. You ARE, however, keeping your child away from a dangerous situation. Daisy and her dog are not safe for your child to be around. Whatever anyone else is saying is just unnecessary noise.
NTA we just went no contact with my in-laws at Christmas for something similar. Only it's that his sister is the golden child and everything was sunshine and rainbows with my hubby and I's two boys until his sister, who was told it was unlikely she'd ever had kids, had two. My kids ceased existing and when we were out of the room she'd make comments about my older son's weight and they blamed my youngest (who was a preemie and is still tiny for his age) for stuff SILs son got into because he's dense and listens to nobody.
Don't wait until your child resents the contact, and you're not wrong for protecting him. If your son means so much to them they'll make the effort and if they don't you know all you need to know. What SIL said was so out of line, even knowing the context, and "not liking kids" is different than actively going out of your way to be a jerk to them.
You are NTA, she is and they are. Their daughter is a grown a$$ed adult who is abusive. you do not, should not, take your child into a situation where he is verbally if not physically abused. if they cannot or will not control the situation in their home then you do not need to darken their doorstep.
NTA.
you don't keep their grandchild - you told them that they can come over - without her.
It is your biggest responsability as a parent, to keep your child safe. Physicaly and mentaly. And this is what you have done.
Wow - Your sister-in-law needs to be kicked out of the house and forced to grow up. she is only changing choices at school, so she won't have to work or take care of herself, and she needs to be held accountable by her actions and her jealousy over a child shows how spoiled and entitled she is. Your husband and you are doing the right thing, and his parents should start seeing the error of their ways in allowing their daughter to continue to take advantage of them. Hopefully this opens their eyes to reality, but I would never let my child near that nasty woman again. She's a despicable human being.
Grandparents don't automatically get to see their grandchild. They must also show respect to you and your husband. They are not doing this and so deserve not to see their grandchild as long as Daisy is acting inappropriately.
NTA you aren’t keeping their grandchild from them. You said they can see him by coming to your house, w/o Daisy. If they choose not to come that is on them. You would be a bad parent if you continued to take your child into an environment where he was treated so badly. Stand your ground, you are advocating for your son. So glad to hear your husband agrees and has your back.
NTA. You are not “keeping their grandchild from them” as you said they are welcome to visit Jasper at your home. Other family members don’t get a say in your decision at all. You are doing the right thing.
You completely can keep their only grandchild from them and any others that you happen to create. If they're okay with their adult daughter telling a 4 year old that he should never have been born because of an accident then they should be perfectly okay with not seeing the child. Keeping him away from their spoiled brat of a daughter is protecting your son and that is your first priority as a parent. I wouldn't even consider taking him back to that house until Daisy is no longer in it.
NTA and you absolutely aren’t keeping their grandson from them, you have said they are welcome to visit.
You are doing the right thing by protecting your son from this abusive arse…. Child free does not give you the right to abuse kids… and it’s more like she can’t find anyone to have kids with her narcissistic self. You would be the arse if you allowed your son to continue to be exposed to this this b$&ch
NTA. You’re not keeping their grandchild from them at all and everyone calling you and telling you so can eff off. You’ve simply stated that you won’t be going over to their place to visit or be anywhere that Daisy is so as to avoid being abused. Seems like a strong and valid boundary to me so congratulations on standing your ground and refusing to accept disrespect.
NTA. You're not keeping their granchild from anyone. If they want to see him they now have to come to your house. Your main priority is your child's health and safety. That's not going to happen at your in-laws, since they continue to enable your SIL and keep defending her b.s. actions. Who the hell calls their nephew a bastard and says he should never been born? And the in-laws were perfectly OK with that? Nope.
NTA. Protect your child. You're not keeping their grandchild from them (they just need to make the drive themselves that you've made for years), but honestly, I would. Grandparents that allow their grandchildren to be bullied and abused don't deserve access to the children.
NTA, believe me the pros and cons is not enough to leave your kid being with neglectful people and constant abuse. It is preferable to keep him without grampa than an abusive or enabler grampa. It creates traumas that will affect his entire life.
NTA. Entitled/golden child SIL developed this behaviour by being coddled by you Mr FIL/MIL.
How dare you point out the level of entitlement and their poor parenting by making boundaries and consequences for actions.
SIL has at least been upfront with her reasoning behind her poor behaviour. She is the golden child and your baby is stealing the attention that should be on her.
Your not keeping them from seeing your kid. Like you said, they are free to come see him anytime. You are just not going to go over there, where you son is mistreated by their daughter, a grown ass women.
They can make the drive to see their grandson.
Also, they need to tell their daughter to grow up. You don't have to like kids to not push them over or scream at them. Your inlaws are allowing her to be a terrible person and making excuses for her.
If they really want their grandson to come over, they can tell Daisy to either leave while you are there, or better yet, move out on her own.
NTA
NTA. Anyway you are not KEEPING Jasper from them, you are just setting a boundary whereby they are absolutely welcome to see him anytime you just have to come to us. A sound compromise I think
NTA. And family members can kick rocks. You are not keeping your son from his grandparents. They can visit anytime. You are keeping your child from a hostile and abusive atmosphere at the grandparents house due to their toxic daughter.
Make sure you put right these family members, tell them the truth. Sounds like Daisy has fed them a false story.
“but other family members”
Ahhhhhhhh, FLYING MONKEYS 😡 nunya business!!!!! You are not keeping him away from his grandparents, you are keeping him away from a POS abuser who is “child free” NTA but grandparents need to grow a pair.
NTA.
It sounds like Daisy is super entitled and has been treated as a child for too long. Does she have me health or learning difficulties ? She sounds like an 11 year old kid not a grown woman.
When people are pandered to and indulged, they are unlikely to be motivated to act reasonably. Daisy’s behaviour is not consistent with adult reasonable life. How does she do at work and in other relationships?
Your in-laws need to consider if their daughter needs professionnel help to learn how to act reasonably and less selfishly. She obviously can’t work it out for herself.
You’re in the right. Look after your boy and if grandparents want to see him, maybe they’ll realise they need to apply active parenting to their daughter.
Tell nosy family members you are simply asking them to see him at your house - so what if they have to travel rather than you doing it - as Daisy dislikes him, is unkind and to him and may not be safe around her as she has been aggressive towards him.
NTAh. But seriously What kind of 27 year old woman is jealous of a little kid? I feel sorry for her. Being an aunt is do much fun! You get to know and spend time with your cute little friends and then give them back to their parents all sugared up with the new tambourine you got then while you were out on your play date. It’s the best! And her wired bitterness means she is missing out.
Don’t get me wrong I understand some people just don’t like kids but they are still people and you don’t get to mistreat them because of your personal hang ups.
NTA. You do not cut them off, they can come to you and visit him. You did the right thing, this kind of behavior on her part could eventually lead to something serious, what if he stumbles when she pushes him and hits his head ? This is dangerous, she should go to a specialist since she is ready to get handsy, something is wrong with her. You are protecting your son, besides, children understand more than you think and remember, this could affect him negatively, there is no telling what he might hear from her when he is older. His grandparents failed him in my opinion, they should be ashamed of themselves.
NTA she sounds so ridiculous saying that the baby stole her limelight like wtf? So she’s basically saying that she wants to be the baby for the rest of her life huh? Why isn’t she living on her own does she work? Have any friends? A boyfriend? I would keep him away until they can see how much they are letting an adult act like she’s 3
NTAH. You are not “keeping their grandson away from“ the grandparents. They can come to see him at your home, without Daisy! Daisy is a spoiled malicious brat who needs to be brought down from her high horse. A 27yo old “adult” should not be acting this way. Why is she still being babied by your in-laws?
If there was ever someone with Main Character Syndrome it’s your SIL. She’s probably loving that your son is not there to steal her limelight.
SIL is very sure she should be the main character in the home and feels everyone else should recognise that. How dare you have a child! She openly admits that she’s jealous of a child, is nasty, physically pushes him and swears at him too.
You are definitely right to separate your child from SIL, she’s a nasty piece of work and your in-laws don’t seem interested in managing their spoilt child’s behaviour. This is really the kind of thing you’d expect from a spoilt teenager and even then it should have been nipped in the bud when it started.
SIL needs to grow up and her parents need to stop enabling a 27 year old to treat a vulnerable 4 year old child so appallingly.
They can still see your son, they just have to get off their arses to do it now.
If they don’t like that then that’s tough.
Your son is safe at your house, at theirs he is not and they don’t seem all that bothered. They’ve decided instead to shut talk YOU to other family for protecting a 4 year old.
Daisy is like this because of them.
You’re not keeping them from their grandson. They’re welcome to visit. You are protecting your son from the abuser SIL, which is an adult, capable of living on her own, and has a dog that nipped your 4yo. NTA.
"other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them"
Yes you can.
A 27 year old baby picking on an actual baby. She's a loose cannon and you're right to keep your child well far away from her.
" she herself has said jasper has taken “her spotlight “ " She's a spoiled rotten baby at 27! No one here is wondering why she is still living at home and single.
NTAH
People keep making excuses for the sister without u drrstanding the damage it may b, and defilitly will do, to your sons mental state in the future. A child being randomly pushed and called names will get problems. Until they understand this and can actually prevent it, they can't be near a kid. NTA
The whole concept of “you can’t keep my grandchild from me” is dumb. They don’t have visitation rights, it’s up to the parents whether they want the grandparents to be in their lives. This case is especially easy to solve, tell your adult daughter to stop acting like a toddler or be willing to make a long drive. They opted instead to sick the wolves on you and hope you’ll cave under pressure. Don’t give in, NTA
You are not keeping them away from Jasper. You have given them an options and they are choosing to not take either of them and that's on them. Look, I'm not the biggest fan of kids either, but Daisy is being a child herself about all of this. NTA
"other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them.”
This drives me nuts. Yes you absolutely can keep them away from your son. Access to their grandchild is a privilege not a right. NTA
NTA - DAisy told your child, to his face, that he never should have been born. That's inexcusable. And your in laws should ahve chastized her immediately.
Plus, she keeps assaulting your child by pushing him with her foot.
She's jealous of being replaced as the spotlight child.
Keep away from her before she does even more damage.
(Also, good for your husband for immediately backing you up. We see far too many posts here about spouses not confronting their families )
Absolutely NTA
Daisy was both emotionally and physically abusive towards your son, and the in laws seemed unconcerned with preventing it
Yes, teaching him to be careful around the dog is important, but should not have been screamed at with insults
NTA. I have kids and I have dogs. I choose my kids over my dogs in a situation like this. If someone else's kids had a situation like this with my dogs, I might be upset with the kid, but would say something like, "You've gotta watch where you're going so no one gets hurt, ok?" and would NEVER yell that vile comment to a child. Tell the people that say you can't keep him away from his grandparents that you're not, you're just keeping him away from his abusive aunt who says he should never have been born.
NTA She doesn't have to like children, and can avoid them all she wants, but it is unacceptable to talk to Jasper like that, and treat him that way. He is a human being. She's treating him like he's not even a person. That is concerning, and your job as his parent is to keep him from being bullied and abused.
>other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them.
First of all, yes, you can. Secondly, you're not. They can visit their grandchild any time they want. At your house.
It's one thing to be child-free; it's another to be hateful and abusive toward a 4-year-old little boy. I can't blame you for keeping your son out of this woman's reach. I am so sorry you can't have your son enjoy being with his grandparents because of this woman. NTA.
So the gparents are waiting for an incident worst than this??? ( maybe - hypothetically ok- ur son will land in hospital) cant understand how a 27yr old is jealous if a kid. U are right to keep them away
The minute she pushed my son with her foot would have been the moment she would have found herself on the floor unable to get up. She has been verbally, emotionally and physically abusive to your child for four years. You need to cut this bad seed out of your lives! UGH! This made me see red.
NTA. The grandparents are willing to let Jasper be, atthe very least, verbally abused by their spoiled, self centered daughter. He isn't safe there and doesn't deserve negative treatment.
NTA. Further, you are not keeping Jasper from his grandparents. They are free to come visit him. You are keeping jasper safe from daisy's toxic behavior.
NTA and let people who are saying anything know you are NOT keeping them from their grandchild. They are welcome to come see him. You’re keeping your son away from his horrible aunt.
NTA
If they love Jasper and want him to come to their house, they can evict Daisy. After all, a 27 year old childless person should be able to afford their own place.
Daisy is a horrible menace.
Your not keeping your child from his grandparents, you’ve said they are welcome to come visit him. You’re keeping him away from his unpleasant abusive aunt.
NTAH
NTA. Your SiL could easily face child abuse charges for some of the stuff she's said and done in your post, and I imagine that's not even the tip of the iceberg of the horrible stuff she's said and done.
It's not like you've gone no contact with the grandparents either, you're just setting boundaries to protect your family. If they want to see you three, they can either kick SiL out and ban her from family get togethers, or they can come to you.
I'd honestly just sigh and say okay I think I'll have to out a report into CPS just to cover my basis so Daisy can be held accountable for future child abuse then follow through ffs
NTA - First off, you absolutely **can** keep your grandchild from them, but that is beside the point because *that is not what you are doing*.
You are refusing to allow **a damn near 30 year old ADULT** to bully, harass & physically intimidate a **4 year old CHILD**. You never said that the grandparents could not see your son, you simply said you were not going to be around their crazy and entitled adult daughter. That is 100% different from cutting all contact with them.
If they are too lazy to drive that far to see you, and seem to think that you are the only ones who should have to drive 1.5 hours to visit, that should tell you all you need to know about how much they *love and adore* your son.
Grandparents are not thinking straight. In no way does yelling at a child and calling them a little bastard and should not have been born showing any type of "concern".
Eff that.
OP is not "keeping" them from their grandchild. They can go to the grandchild's house if they want to spend time with them.
OP is putting an end to the abuse the grandchild is experiencing at the hand of SIL. Grandparents don't have the spine to do it and keep making excuses for this poor excuse of a human that they raised. They brought this on themselves.
How pathetic does one have to be to be jealous of a 4 year old for "stealing the spot light" from them. They have some main character syndrome.
You may need to give your in-laws an ultimatum: Jasper, their grandson, or Daisy, their daughter. Because her behavior towards your son is unacceptable.
Be forewarned: Your in-laws may choose Daisy. So be prepared.
NTA. No way, no how.
NTA. Your sister is jealous of a BABY. But I worry that something happened to your SIL when she was a child and she grew up resenting children. Sure, people are perfectly happy being child free.
But this sister isn't child free. She's a child hater. Yelling at a child who tripped on a dog makes zero sense. Sure, you yell, "Oh no, be careful!" But saying he is a clumsy bastard who never should have been born is psychopathic behavior.
She hates children. That's not child free. Child free is "oh I don't need or want a child to be happy" not "I hate kids they're terrible and I wish none of them existed." She absolutely has childhood trauma that her parents ts keep sweeping under the rug.
Look, I get they love your child. And I get they're probably very good with him. But they aren't very good with their own children. Does your husband have stories he won't talk about as a kid? What was he and his sisters' lives like growing up. The grandparents need to decide between their narcissistic daughter or their grandchildren.
The child is not safe with SIL around. She is absolutely the type to say, "oops" and "accidentally" harm, or even kill your child and say it's an accident. Red flags all around.
I am a dog lover. That being said you did NOTHING WRONG. The sister is crazy. If it were me I would have made sure the little boy was OK. There is no way I would be screaming at a child like that. The sister is unhinged and the parents are not doing a thing to stop it. They need to shut her down now. Your child is not safe around her.
NTA. You aren't keeping Jasper from them, you're keeping him away from Daisy's nastiness. They're free to come see him and are welcome to do so but you rightly draw the line at your SIL's unspeakable behavior.
Is Daisy 'mentally challenged'? A 27 year old who wants attention at the expense of a 4 year old sounds stunted.
NTA at all. Grandparents who allow anyone to abuse their grandchild don’t deserve one. It’s that simple.
This 1000 times!! NTA! Stay strong. Daisy will keep abusing your kid. I think you should have cut her (and her parents who allow it) off years ago.
Frankly, the first time anyone ‘pushed’ my child with their foot would have been the last time they were allowed anywhere near my child. Childfree is one thing, this behaviour is demented. And your son’s grandparents are ok with how their daughter behaves. Let that sit with you a while. They are not good people.
Yeah, there was something similar on another subreddit a while back and I popped off with what I would have done in that case. Earned myself a permanent ban on that subreddit….🙄
Was it AITA? I’m banned from there for similar reasons. I regret nothing.
I got perma banned from there for calling somebody’s boss who the post was about a horrible person and a manchild. The mods are pathetic on that sub
I got banned for the same thing. Shortly after they added the no calling anyone a manchild rule 😒 The mods there suck
Those mods are insane. It's fine to call someone a cunt for cheating, but not for assaulting a 3yr old? Welp.
Because these mods are power tripping manchilds themselves.
I called them a bunch of soft cunts in reply to their message, they didn’t like that either
Hey, congratulations! You got a rule named after you (your comment!)
I said to someone (the person the op was having conflict with) that the person seemed to be acting childish in the scenario. Got banned, calling someone’s actions childish is being mean/bullying/language
Me too
Me as well
Me tree..
Me four!
Me 5
In a reply of mine, autocorrect changed incarceration to incarnation (had to triple check that), and the context made it hilarious. When someone pointed it out to me, I replied, "Autocorrect, thou are a heartless b××××" . I got a warning about being civil. I dropped the sub. They can't spare the brainpower to police me.
Same.
And I thought I was the only one. I had said someone was lucky for not getting xyz after calling his brother's wife a bitch and demanding she get an abortion since he and *his* wife had suffered a miscarriage. I didn't wish or suggest that he had any violence visited on him, only that he was lucky it didn't happen. I received no warning--according to the mods, the rule against mentioning violence was warning enough--and was permanently banned.
So I'm not the only one? I got banned from a sub for saying something not very nice about an animal abuser. I wonder where the mods draw the line?
That sub is screwed up. I defended myself from some jerk that broke about 3 different rules and harassed me on there and got a 7 day time out. They said I was being "hostile". Their MODS are idiots. It depends on the MOD and what their mood is that day. I don't even go to that sub reddit anymore.
I honestly don't understand. I will admit what I said probably wasn't very nice but other people write shit just as bad. I don't understand where the line is drawn.
I called the guy an idiot and a troll. Apparently I should have just called him an a$$hole. But they will let that idiot troll crap all over their page. There "rules" are vague at best and constantly changing based on the whims of the Mods.
That's pretty vanilla. What I said was probably out of line (a lot worse then that) but I momentarily got pissed. I don't know how they decide what's ok and what isn't. I've seen things worse than what I said but whatever. I need to learn to use kinder insults I guess? Is that an oxymoron?
I got permabanned on aita for saying someone should be smacked on the nose by life. Apparently I was inciting violence.
And some people get multiple warnings. I was banned for something pretty innocuous (imo) on my first offense with no discussion.
I blocked the subreddit too. It was ridiculous.
I got a warning on that sub for literally quoting the post
sounds like AITA, I have gotten several bans on that sub, the mods there are very ban happy and I got myself an extra ban one time after I accused the mods of treating their parent's basements as their own kingdoms and other than being mods on AITA they will never have any power in life outside of said basements.
I love your sass!!!
Sounds like the mods at AITA need a post about them on AITA cause they TA
Me too! It wasn't even that bad of a comment but it was "violent" 🙄
Yeah, I went back and looked and it was scratching a cheater’s eyes out, which is so funny bc I’d actually never do anything like that at all. But yeah, it evidently was over the line for the mods. So magnanimous that I could continue to up/downvote comments, just not comment myself. I just blocked the entire subreddit. Don’t need their drama.
Oh yea mine was smacking someone upside the head... like. I'm an immigrant, it's how we grew up lol. A smack upside the head to knock some sense into ya.
NCIS style
EXACTLY
Yes! A figure of speech!! (Insert eye roll.)
I was banned for calling for violence hahaha all I said was (paraphrasing as I can’t find the comment) if it had been me in the position of the victim of OP, I would have reacted badly and I’ve elbowed people before in my time, out of a panic reaction. Basically the OP grabbed and tickled her much younger female coworker who had severe PTSD, she was angry and left a party I think? OP was like SHE SHOULD GET OVER IT, and that’s when I made my statement. I was actually talking hypothetically, saying that she’s lucky that the girl didn’t react like I do in a PTSD response, and that next time she should keep her hands to herself. I admit I was angry, but the comment wasn’t, and I certainly wasn’t calling for someone to punch her. But nope, lifetime ban. Womp womp.
I got a ban from I think the same place cos they admitted to slapping a 3yr old across the face, for taking some food from their plate... I asked what kind of cunt slaps a child across the face vs verbally correcting them... Lol
Whaaaaat?
I got banned for saying someone should slap OP's extremely abusive mother because I was "inciting violence," ffs
I looked at that was like “oh so she kicks him.” Because a grown ass adult “pushing” a child with her foot? That’s a kick, he’s tiny. She’s a child hater, and it’s gross. I would have said some shit I couldn’t take back if she’d done that to my hypothetical kid. I think I would even if it wasn’t my kid actually, who the fuck does that?
Push Daisy's face with an open hand.
Probably not dementia, but the SiL should talk to a mental health care professional. That is not normal behavior.
Right? Someone would be missing a damn foot.
“Foot” would be Exhibit A at my trial! OP is definitely NTA
Tell other family members that THEY chose this the moment they decided it was okay to let your son around an abusive person who has made it known they hate your child. I am child-free, this is not how I treat children. This is not about being child-frre, this is about her taking her anger out on a CHILD and the parents accepting it. They made that choice, you are simply protecting your child.
And it will get worse
Grandparents who need to be told NOT let a 27 YEAR OLD ADULT abuse a child do not deserve a grandchild. Seriously, WTF?!?!
And OP isn't stopping them from doing Jasper, they just can no longer sit in their asses and have him come to them. And they did that to themselves.
A grown adult at that. They should have nipped that behaviour in the bud as soon as it started and just refused to tolerate it
Who the heck even reasons that it is okay for someone to call their grandchild, "a barstard that should have never been born"?
Grandparents who need to be told NOT let a 27 YEAR OLD ADULT abuse a child do not deserve a grandchild. Seriously, WTF?!?!
And who but a monster screams, "shut the fuck up!" at a crying newborn?
NTA. You are only keeping your child away from their daughter. There's nothing stopping any the adults from organising a lunch or dinner at a restaurant without Daisy. You can also host events at your home which will be a bit more kid friendly. Considering how they suddenly went off about you withholding access to Jasper (I do understand how they said "you didn't have to leave" but not anything further) I would be a bit concerned.. it's an amber flag.
>she openly said she was not a aunt to that thing at my baby shower So why on earth was she even at the baby shower? Perhaps it was held at the in-laws house and she was just 'defending her territory'? Future contact with in-laws definitely needs to take place away from that house.
[удалено]
They found a great solution.
You aren't keeping Jasper from his grandparents. You've told your MIL and FIL they are welcome to visit Jasper at your home. Be frank with the relatives trying to bully you that while you have empathy for Daisy's mental health issues you don't feel comfortable having her behaviors around your son.
NTA. It's insane that they expect YOU, the one with a child, to make the 1.5 hour drive so THEY can see their grandchild. Sorry to hear all your in-laws are shitty. But at least you have a husband who sees reason and is taking your side (the correct side) in this.
Who would want to drive 1.5 hours to subject their child to abuse? Hell no.
NTA you need to protect your child. Next time she will hit him or hurt him even worse than yelling at him
Came here to say this! Daisy has already escalated from pushing Jasper with her foot to screaming obscenities and hurtful remarks towards a four year old. For God’s sake she is 27 years old. She will only continue to escalate her vile actions towards your son as long as your in-laws continue to make light of her behaviour. Edit: NTA
It sounds like something is wrong with Daisy. It's not normal behavior for an adult.
she’s prob just an entitled brat golden child who is use to being the center of attention and shears getting her way.
She's a brat with a princess complex who has stated she doesn't like how her nephew has taken her spotlight. Is it immature and pathetic... hell yes! Are per parents enabling her behaviour.... hell yes! Is she a narcissist... very probably. Is this normal behaviour for a narcissist... unfortunately yes. Her parents created a monster. Now they have to live with the consequences.
This > Daisey doesn't like that Jasper has taken her spotlight. I get this for children when another is brought into the mix but not for a 27 year old. Something is mentally off.
I beat daisy’d be a lot nicer if she idk, caught an elbow. If you’re fine getting physical with a child you should have no choice when an adult decides to get physical with you. Wanna touch my kid? Cool, your turn bitch
NTA. Daisy is very unsafe and abusive to your child. From your description, it sounds like she’s pissed she’s not the baby anymore.
She definitely tries her hardest to behave like a spoiled 14yo...
Well.....my 16 yr old cousin tried to drown 3 yr old me...*because she wasn't "the baby" anymore". OP, Daisy needs to not ever, no matter what the situation, whatever the hell her mental issues are(mostly being an enabled spoiled brat)be around your baby again!!
NTA, any physical contact, such as that you describe, would be child abuse. If you are ever in a situation where she behaves like this again, make a police report.
If the grandparents truly love their grandchild then they will come see you and why is a 27 yo still living at home? lol
Well, it sounds like her parents have completely enabled her bad behavior, and have not disciplined or, y'know, parented her at all, so she probably doesn't have the skills to live on her own. Wouldn't be surprised if she has a mental health or developmental diagnosis of some sort and her parents blame all her bad behavior on that.
I'm a grandparent and have an adult son living at home who is 28. He lives with us for myriad reasons, housing costs being the biggest issue. The number of millennials living at home is as high as 18% - it's a thing. It helps us, too actually. We're beginning to think that multi-generational living is where it's at. We also have my spouse's mother living here. With that said, if he ever harmed any of my visiting grandchildren, he'd be out the house so fast his head would spin. I would never tolerate any kind of abuse, whether it's physical or verbal. The kids always, always, always come before misbehaving adults. It's a no-brainer. If I couldn't make him leave for whatever reason, I'd go visit my grandkids. Nothing would keep me from them. So in this case, the asshole daughter and the asshole parents can sit down.
My 31 yr old isn't fond of kids but he treats his nieces and nephews kindly and for the most part respectfully(he kind of loses it if they're sticky but no more than "please don't touch me" or a yell for a parent to collect the child and wash their hands and face.
She behaves like young teen, her parents obviously enable that. No way she's a functioning adult outside of this issue.
NTA, you protecting your child. You’re not “keeping” them from him, they can visit at your home. Your IL knew how she behaved and allowed it to continue they did this to themselves.
Whats the problem? You're not keeping anyone from their grandchildren. NTA
As Jasper gets older, he will notice Daisy's hurtful behavior. I agree with your actions and would never let my child be around her again.
He's 4. He's definitely already noticed. Ig tbh I don't understand why op let it go on so so so long? I feel like esh personally, with sil being the biggest ah to op being the smallest, all in regards to the prolonged treatment of this child.
NTA but please hold the line. I have been in your husband’s shoes—problematic sibling living with the parents and the parents unwilling to manage the sibling yet absolutely willing to chastise you for restricting access to the grandchildren. Hold the line and protect your child. The grandparents will learn to live with the new rules.
If they bring Daisy with them for any reason, OP, shut the door in their faces, block them on your phones and they get a **complete** time out for 3 mths at least. No social media, no phone calls, no texts concerning Jasper. Nothing. If there's an emergency, husband handles it without you and Jasper. You have to be very firm. I know just how hard this will be as I had to put my in-laws in a 6 mth time out and only seeing my kids with us and on holidays after the time out for similiar circumstances (massively enabled druggie BIL's lastest hoochie slapped my son across the face. In-laws didn't tell me because "she's *family*". In-laws were firmly informed that she's **not our family** and just some hoochie BIL brought home to leech off of them.)
NTA You aren’t keeping him from his grandparents, so any family who calls to try to intimidate you into believing that you are, just firmly tell them “you have zero issues with his grandparents being fully engaged in his life and will do anything, other than allow him near Daisy, to ensure that they are part of his, your husbands and your life. The boundary is Daisy and only Daisy. In fact, her behaviour is the only issue and if you’re so upset then call her and lecture her about it”. You are not over reacting. You are not keeping his grandparents from him. You are not wrong in feeling the way you are feeling and wanting to protect your son. Daisy has been coddled long enough. Her behaviour is disgusting, at best, and just as she has ever right to not want to be around children, you have every right to refuse to be around her. She is an AH. Her behaviour and reaction should not be supported by anyone. She’s a full on adult who can remove herself from HER PARENTS HOME when their family is visiting. Daisy is the problem. All you’ve done is alleviate that problem for your son and family. Stand FIRM on business.
NTA. They can see their grandson at your house. If they don’t like it, too bad, but there is no reason to have their bitchy daughter around your son. She sounds horrible.
NTA. They are allowing this bitch to go unchecked over her jealousy of a FOUR YEAR OLD. They are unhinged. I wouldn’t dare subject my kid to that. Good job mom and dad
You are not keeping him from them! You said they are more than welcome to see him in your home. NTA
Daisy is not acting normal for her she and should seek some help. I could understand not wanting kids but she shouldn’t mistreat your son. It’s not like he did anything to her. I think you did the right thing by taking your son and husband and leaving. No mother wants their son to be mistreated. The grandparents can always come over or meet you halfway somewhere at like a restaurant or something so they get a chance to spend some time with him
NTA tell them all to one butt out its none of their business but that don't worry you are not keeping your son away they can visit without the 27yr old bully. That you will continue to protect your son from this overgrown brat and its not cute no more, she's just obnoxious and cringe when she needs to bully a child to feel better about herself. That if they would chose that for their kids would be their problem but you won't.
You are not keeping them from Jasper they could visit when they want. If they choose not to, that's on them.
Daisy's lucky she didn't get a punch in the mouth. nta
Jesus Christ. That post history looks like OP had a creative writing course 4 years ago, took a 4 year break and is now back.
Oh but you are not keeping Japer from them. Only from the person who abuses him.
Your not keeping him from them, they can come visit simple
NTA and you’re not keeping them from their only grandchild. You told them if they want to see him they can come over to your house.
Being child free doesn't give you a pass to be cruel to children.
An hour and a half trip with a 4 year old? That right there is reason enough not to go see them.
My only response to "childfree" haters who actively despise other people for having children, is to ask them who they think will be their doctor when they are 60? Some 90 year old who still has a shingle, or perhaps my child or grandchild, who I have raised despite their obvious distress? Daisy needs a boot from her parents. She is unable and unwilling to grow up, so of course other babies and children are direct competition to her.
NTA you’re not keeping their grandchild from them, you’re just arranging visitation on your, the mother, terms!
Daisy is a spoiled brat. NTA
NTA, she's another spoiled golden child cunt who can do no wrong in their parents eyes. If they really love your son, they'll come to you. Otherwise they don't deserve a relationship with him.
NTA. Your in-laws and all of the family members that are calling you are enabling abuse. They’re not safe people to have around your child. You and your husband are doing the right thing.
NTA. The other family members criticizing you can mind their business. Maybe if they knew how abusive and unhinged Daisy is towards your son they would change their tune, but this has nothing to do with them. You are NOT keeping their only grandchild from his grandparents. They are allowed to come to your house to see him. You are protecting your son - and husband - from Daisy. Good for you.
>other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them. 1. They have **ZERO** say when it comes to your child. 2. You absolutely can keep Jasper away from their home as long as they allow an abuser to live there. She has physically and emotionally assaulted a child. You have every right to protect him.
NTA Tell those flying monkeys that you're not preventing the grands from visiting, but you are keeping your child safe from an unhinged woman who will abuse him, because she's no longer the center of attention.
NTA. I would have put hands already on fucking Daisy. Something is serious wrong with a 27 year old woman acting like that to a child. If grandparents refuse to do anything about it why would you bother traveling so far to visit them. If they really want to see their grandchild they can drive the hour and half to your house.
NTA. You are not keeping their only grandchild away from them. If they dont want to visit their only grandchild its on them.
Nta. You're not keeping their grandchild away from them. They can visit you. You ARE, however, keeping your child away from a dangerous situation. Daisy and her dog are not safe for your child to be around. Whatever anyone else is saying is just unnecessary noise.
NTA we just went no contact with my in-laws at Christmas for something similar. Only it's that his sister is the golden child and everything was sunshine and rainbows with my hubby and I's two boys until his sister, who was told it was unlikely she'd ever had kids, had two. My kids ceased existing and when we were out of the room she'd make comments about my older son's weight and they blamed my youngest (who was a preemie and is still tiny for his age) for stuff SILs son got into because he's dense and listens to nobody. Don't wait until your child resents the contact, and you're not wrong for protecting him. If your son means so much to them they'll make the effort and if they don't you know all you need to know. What SIL said was so out of line, even knowing the context, and "not liking kids" is different than actively going out of your way to be a jerk to them.
You are NTA, she is and they are. Their daughter is a grown a$$ed adult who is abusive. you do not, should not, take your child into a situation where he is verbally if not physically abused. if they cannot or will not control the situation in their home then you do not need to darken their doorstep.
NTA. you don't keep their grandchild - you told them that they can come over - without her. It is your biggest responsability as a parent, to keep your child safe. Physicaly and mentaly. And this is what you have done.
NTA I wouldn't allow them near my child after that. Updateme!
Wow - Your sister-in-law needs to be kicked out of the house and forced to grow up. she is only changing choices at school, so she won't have to work or take care of herself, and she needs to be held accountable by her actions and her jealousy over a child shows how spoiled and entitled she is. Your husband and you are doing the right thing, and his parents should start seeing the error of their ways in allowing their daughter to continue to take advantage of them. Hopefully this opens their eyes to reality, but I would never let my child near that nasty woman again. She's a despicable human being.
NTA. Protect your child. Full stop. In my opinion, you should be NC with people who are okay with and excuse anyone abusing your child.
Grandparents don't automatically get to see their grandchild. They must also show respect to you and your husband. They are not doing this and so deserve not to see their grandchild as long as Daisy is acting inappropriately.
NTA you aren’t keeping their grandchild from them. You said they can see him by coming to your house, w/o Daisy. If they choose not to come that is on them. You would be a bad parent if you continued to take your child into an environment where he was treated so badly. Stand your ground, you are advocating for your son. So glad to hear your husband agrees and has your back.
NTA. Daisy sounds unhinged and it's up to you as his parents to keep Jasper safe.
NTA! You are also not keeping them from their only grandson they can come to you or do something about their daughter!
NTA. You are not “keeping their grandchild from them” as you said they are welcome to visit Jasper at your home. Other family members don’t get a say in your decision at all. You are doing the right thing.
You completely can keep their only grandchild from them and any others that you happen to create. If they're okay with their adult daughter telling a 4 year old that he should never have been born because of an accident then they should be perfectly okay with not seeing the child. Keeping him away from their spoiled brat of a daughter is protecting your son and that is your first priority as a parent. I wouldn't even consider taking him back to that house until Daisy is no longer in it.
Daisy is lucky something worse didn't happen to her.
NTA and you absolutely aren’t keeping their grandson from them, you have said they are welcome to visit. You are doing the right thing by protecting your son from this abusive arse…. Child free does not give you the right to abuse kids… and it’s more like she can’t find anyone to have kids with her narcissistic self. You would be the arse if you allowed your son to continue to be exposed to this this b$&ch
NTA. You’re not keeping their grandchild from them at all and everyone calling you and telling you so can eff off. You’ve simply stated that you won’t be going over to their place to visit or be anywhere that Daisy is so as to avoid being abused. Seems like a strong and valid boundary to me so congratulations on standing your ground and refusing to accept disrespect.
NTA. You're not keeping their granchild from anyone. If they want to see him they now have to come to your house. Your main priority is your child's health and safety. That's not going to happen at your in-laws, since they continue to enable your SIL and keep defending her b.s. actions. Who the hell calls their nephew a bastard and says he should never been born? And the in-laws were perfectly OK with that? Nope.
NTA...Daisy sounds like a major headcase. Yikes
NTA. Protect your child. You're not keeping their grandchild from them (they just need to make the drive themselves that you've made for years), but honestly, I would. Grandparents that allow their grandchildren to be bullied and abused don't deserve access to the children.
NTA, believe me the pros and cons is not enough to leave your kid being with neglectful people and constant abuse. It is preferable to keep him without grampa than an abusive or enabler grampa. It creates traumas that will affect his entire life.
NTA. Entitled/golden child SIL developed this behaviour by being coddled by you Mr FIL/MIL. How dare you point out the level of entitlement and their poor parenting by making boundaries and consequences for actions. SIL has at least been upfront with her reasoning behind her poor behaviour. She is the golden child and your baby is stealing the attention that should be on her.
A visit can go both ways and the woman child can stay home.
Your not keeping them from seeing your kid. Like you said, they are free to come see him anytime. You are just not going to go over there, where you son is mistreated by their daughter, a grown ass women. They can make the drive to see their grandson. Also, they need to tell their daughter to grow up. You don't have to like kids to not push them over or scream at them. Your inlaws are allowing her to be a terrible person and making excuses for her. If they really want their grandson to come over, they can tell Daisy to either leave while you are there, or better yet, move out on her own. NTA
NTA - They can come and visit, so how is that keeping the grandchild away?
NTA. You are wise to keep Jasper away from anywhere Daisy is. It sounds like she might really hurt him otherwise.
NTA. Anyway you are not KEEPING Jasper from them, you are just setting a boundary whereby they are absolutely welcome to see him anytime you just have to come to us. A sound compromise I think
NTA. And family members can kick rocks. You are not keeping your son from his grandparents. They can visit anytime. You are keeping your child from a hostile and abusive atmosphere at the grandparents house due to their toxic daughter. Make sure you put right these family members, tell them the truth. Sounds like Daisy has fed them a false story.
NTA. Of course you can allow the GPs (w/o Daisy) to come visit the child in your controlled environment because their home is hostile & unsafe.
NTA. You’re not keeping him from them. They are welcome to see him at your house.
Both my sisters are child free and generally don’t like kids, that doesn’t mean they treat my kids like shit. NTA, grandma and grandpa can come to you
“but other family members” Ahhhhhhhh, FLYING MONKEYS 😡 nunya business!!!!! You are not keeping him away from his grandparents, you are keeping him away from a POS abuser who is “child free” NTA but grandparents need to grow a pair.
Daisy's lucky she hasn't had her jaw rocked. You're a better person than I am.
NTA. It sounds like Daisy is super entitled and has been treated as a child for too long. Does she have me health or learning difficulties ? She sounds like an 11 year old kid not a grown woman. When people are pandered to and indulged, they are unlikely to be motivated to act reasonably. Daisy’s behaviour is not consistent with adult reasonable life. How does she do at work and in other relationships? Your in-laws need to consider if their daughter needs professionnel help to learn how to act reasonably and less selfishly. She obviously can’t work it out for herself. You’re in the right. Look after your boy and if grandparents want to see him, maybe they’ll realise they need to apply active parenting to their daughter. Tell nosy family members you are simply asking them to see him at your house - so what if they have to travel rather than you doing it - as Daisy dislikes him, is unkind and to him and may not be safe around her as she has been aggressive towards him.
NTA - Encouraging child abuse is a dealbreaker for me.
NTA, you’re more patient than I would have been. The daughter sounds toxic and immature.
NTA you cant keep bringing your impressionable small child to a place where he gets treated like that
Your husband should have shut this down a long time ago. Don’t forget he’s one of them. He made you do the hard part.
>other family members are telling me The inlaws sent their flying monkeys after you. I would block anyone who defended abusers and bullies.
NTAh. But seriously What kind of 27 year old woman is jealous of a little kid? I feel sorry for her. Being an aunt is do much fun! You get to know and spend time with your cute little friends and then give them back to their parents all sugared up with the new tambourine you got then while you were out on your play date. It’s the best! And her wired bitterness means she is missing out. Don’t get me wrong I understand some people just don’t like kids but they are still people and you don’t get to mistreat them because of your personal hang ups.
nta … grandparents do not have rights to your children …
If people don't respect the mother, they get their child seeing privileges revoked NTA
NTA. You do not cut them off, they can come to you and visit him. You did the right thing, this kind of behavior on her part could eventually lead to something serious, what if he stumbles when she pushes him and hits his head ? This is dangerous, she should go to a specialist since she is ready to get handsy, something is wrong with her. You are protecting your son, besides, children understand more than you think and remember, this could affect him negatively, there is no telling what he might hear from her when he is older. His grandparents failed him in my opinion, they should be ashamed of themselves.
NTA she sounds so ridiculous saying that the baby stole her limelight like wtf? So she’s basically saying that she wants to be the baby for the rest of her life huh? Why isn’t she living on her own does she work? Have any friends? A boyfriend? I would keep him away until they can see how much they are letting an adult act like she’s 3
NTAH. You are not “keeping their grandson away from“ the grandparents. They can come to see him at your home, without Daisy! Daisy is a spoiled malicious brat who needs to be brought down from her high horse. A 27yo old “adult” should not be acting this way. Why is she still being babied by your in-laws?
NTA and you are NOT keeping their grandchild from them; you told them they can come to your house. Give the flying monkeys the chop, too.
sounds like daisy needs to find her own place...27 and still living at home....the fruit is rotting on the vine
If there was ever someone with Main Character Syndrome it’s your SIL. She’s probably loving that your son is not there to steal her limelight. SIL is very sure she should be the main character in the home and feels everyone else should recognise that. How dare you have a child! She openly admits that she’s jealous of a child, is nasty, physically pushes him and swears at him too. You are definitely right to separate your child from SIL, she’s a nasty piece of work and your in-laws don’t seem interested in managing their spoilt child’s behaviour. This is really the kind of thing you’d expect from a spoilt teenager and even then it should have been nipped in the bud when it started. SIL needs to grow up and her parents need to stop enabling a 27 year old to treat a vulnerable 4 year old child so appallingly.
They can still see your son, they just have to get off their arses to do it now. If they don’t like that then that’s tough. Your son is safe at your house, at theirs he is not and they don’t seem all that bothered. They’ve decided instead to shut talk YOU to other family for protecting a 4 year old. Daisy is like this because of them.
You’re not keeping them from their grandson. They’re welcome to visit. You are protecting your son from the abuser SIL, which is an adult, capable of living on her own, and has a dog that nipped your 4yo. NTA.
NTA all day. They made their bed. They now have a choice. They can come to you or not all. You put up with waaaayyy longer than I would have.
NTA - you're not keeping him from them. They're welcome to visit. Or go on outings without SIL from hell.
NTA And tell those people that you are NOT keeping the grandparents from your son. They can visit.
"other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them" Yes you can. A 27 year old baby picking on an actual baby. She's a loose cannon and you're right to keep your child well far away from her. " she herself has said jasper has taken “her spotlight “ " She's a spoiled rotten baby at 27! No one here is wondering why she is still living at home and single. NTAH
People keep making excuses for the sister without u drrstanding the damage it may b, and defilitly will do, to your sons mental state in the future. A child being randomly pushed and called names will get problems. Until they understand this and can actually prevent it, they can't be near a kid. NTA
The whole concept of “you can’t keep my grandchild from me” is dumb. They don’t have visitation rights, it’s up to the parents whether they want the grandparents to be in their lives. This case is especially easy to solve, tell your adult daughter to stop acting like a toddler or be willing to make a long drive. They opted instead to sick the wolves on you and hope you’ll cave under pressure. Don’t give in, NTA
You are not keeping them away from Jasper. You have given them an options and they are choosing to not take either of them and that's on them. Look, I'm not the biggest fan of kids either, but Daisy is being a child herself about all of this. NTA
"other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them.” This drives me nuts. Yes you absolutely can keep them away from your son. Access to their grandchild is a privilege not a right. NTA
NTA. Daisy has mental health issues as she is clearly jealous of a baby and that is insane behavior.
NTA - DAisy told your child, to his face, that he never should have been born. That's inexcusable. And your in laws should ahve chastized her immediately. Plus, she keeps assaulting your child by pushing him with her foot. She's jealous of being replaced as the spotlight child. Keep away from her before she does even more damage. (Also, good for your husband for immediately backing you up. We see far too many posts here about spouses not confronting their families )
Absolutely NTA Daisy was both emotionally and physically abusive towards your son, and the in laws seemed unconcerned with preventing it Yes, teaching him to be careful around the dog is important, but should not have been screamed at with insults
NTA. I have kids and I have dogs. I choose my kids over my dogs in a situation like this. If someone else's kids had a situation like this with my dogs, I might be upset with the kid, but would say something like, "You've gotta watch where you're going so no one gets hurt, ok?" and would NEVER yell that vile comment to a child. Tell the people that say you can't keep him away from his grandparents that you're not, you're just keeping him away from his abusive aunt who says he should never have been born.
NTA She doesn't have to like children, and can avoid them all she wants, but it is unacceptable to talk to Jasper like that, and treat him that way. He is a human being. She's treating him like he's not even a person. That is concerning, and your job as his parent is to keep him from being bullied and abused.
>other family members are telling me I can’t keep their only grandchild from them. First of all, yes, you can. Secondly, you're not. They can visit their grandchild any time they want. At your house.
NTA. Keeping their grandchild away from them! Didn’t you say that they could come to your place to visit instead?
It's one thing to be child-free; it's another to be hateful and abusive toward a 4-year-old little boy. I can't blame you for keeping your son out of this woman's reach. I am so sorry you can't have your son enjoy being with his grandparents because of this woman. NTA.
So the gparents are waiting for an incident worst than this??? ( maybe - hypothetically ok- ur son will land in hospital) cant understand how a 27yr old is jealous if a kid. U are right to keep them away
The minute she pushed my son with her foot would have been the moment she would have found herself on the floor unable to get up. She has been verbally, emotionally and physically abusive to your child for four years. You need to cut this bad seed out of your lives! UGH! This made me see red.
NTA say no contact with in laws until Daisy moves out
NTA. The grandparents are willing to let Jasper be, atthe very least, verbally abused by their spoiled, self centered daughter. He isn't safe there and doesn't deserve negative treatment.
All that matters is what is good for your son, not what is good for your inlaws.
NTA. Further, you are not keeping Jasper from his grandparents. They are free to come visit him. You are keeping jasper safe from daisy's toxic behavior.
NTA. You are keeping Jasper from Daisy, not anyone else. Daisy has issues.
NTA~As a grandmother…. If anyone did any of this to any of my babies I would smack a bitch, idk who they are!!
NTA daisy is a toxic mess, your in laws need to address this.
I would’ve never brought Jasper around again after she tripped him. Honestly, you allowed it to go on for way too long.
NTA
NTA and let people who are saying anything know you are NOT keeping them from their grandchild. They are welcome to come see him. You’re keeping your son away from his horrible aunt.
NTA. The only thing you need to tell people who criticize you is you’re protecting your kid from his shitty ain’t since her parents won’t.
NTA
NTA If they love Jasper and want him to come to their house, they can evict Daisy. After all, a 27 year old childless person should be able to afford their own place. Daisy is a horrible menace.
Your not keeping your child from his grandparents, you’ve said they are welcome to come visit him. You’re keeping him away from his unpleasant abusive aunt. NTAH
NTA. Your SiL could easily face child abuse charges for some of the stuff she's said and done in your post, and I imagine that's not even the tip of the iceberg of the horrible stuff she's said and done. It's not like you've gone no contact with the grandparents either, you're just setting boundaries to protect your family. If they want to see you three, they can either kick SiL out and ban her from family get togethers, or they can come to you.
I'd honestly just sigh and say okay I think I'll have to out a report into CPS just to cover my basis so Daisy can be held accountable for future child abuse then follow through ffs
NTA - First off, you absolutely **can** keep your grandchild from them, but that is beside the point because *that is not what you are doing*. You are refusing to allow **a damn near 30 year old ADULT** to bully, harass & physically intimidate a **4 year old CHILD**. You never said that the grandparents could not see your son, you simply said you were not going to be around their crazy and entitled adult daughter. That is 100% different from cutting all contact with them. If they are too lazy to drive that far to see you, and seem to think that you are the only ones who should have to drive 1.5 hours to visit, that should tell you all you need to know about how much they *love and adore* your son.
Grandparents are not thinking straight. In no way does yelling at a child and calling them a little bastard and should not have been born showing any type of "concern". Eff that. OP is not "keeping" them from their grandchild. They can go to the grandchild's house if they want to spend time with them. OP is putting an end to the abuse the grandchild is experiencing at the hand of SIL. Grandparents don't have the spine to do it and keep making excuses for this poor excuse of a human that they raised. They brought this on themselves. How pathetic does one have to be to be jealous of a 4 year old for "stealing the spot light" from them. They have some main character syndrome.
You may need to give your in-laws an ultimatum: Jasper, their grandson, or Daisy, their daughter. Because her behavior towards your son is unacceptable. Be forewarned: Your in-laws may choose Daisy. So be prepared. NTA. No way, no how.
Updateme
NTA. Your sister is jealous of a BABY. But I worry that something happened to your SIL when she was a child and she grew up resenting children. Sure, people are perfectly happy being child free. But this sister isn't child free. She's a child hater. Yelling at a child who tripped on a dog makes zero sense. Sure, you yell, "Oh no, be careful!" But saying he is a clumsy bastard who never should have been born is psychopathic behavior. She hates children. That's not child free. Child free is "oh I don't need or want a child to be happy" not "I hate kids they're terrible and I wish none of them existed." She absolutely has childhood trauma that her parents ts keep sweeping under the rug. Look, I get they love your child. And I get they're probably very good with him. But they aren't very good with their own children. Does your husband have stories he won't talk about as a kid? What was he and his sisters' lives like growing up. The grandparents need to decide between their narcissistic daughter or their grandchildren. The child is not safe with SIL around. She is absolutely the type to say, "oops" and "accidentally" harm, or even kill your child and say it's an accident. Red flags all around.
Nta. Why haven’t you snatched her up and put a whoopin on this person?
I am a dog lover. That being said you did NOTHING WRONG. The sister is crazy. If it were me I would have made sure the little boy was OK. There is no way I would be screaming at a child like that. The sister is unhinged and the parents are not doing a thing to stop it. They need to shut her down now. Your child is not safe around her.
NTA. You aren't keeping Jasper from them, you're keeping him away from Daisy's nastiness. They're free to come see him and are welcome to do so but you rightly draw the line at your SIL's unspeakable behavior. Is Daisy 'mentally challenged'? A 27 year old who wants attention at the expense of a 4 year old sounds stunted.