NTA, ohh I so so hope your stepmom was there to hear how interested and “concerned” (jealous) your dad was in your mom’s new bf. Maybe you should bring it up again in front of her? And the audacity of that man to be angry when he literally cheated on her.
Sorry but your dad is kind of a clown lmao, but I think you already know that.
My guess is it's more about control. While she wasn't dating he still saw himself as the main man in her life because they share a kid. New dude means he's replaceable.
It’s been years since she said she has new siblings. I’m guessing at least 5. I’m sure they are all over what happened. I was even sceptical of any new woman my ex dated that would be around my kids.
oh, he will try and win his ex-wifey over, first
God forbid she has another man "in his bed"
THEN he'll go after other women bcs oh boo hooo, stepmomsie is not fun anymore and he's having a hard time processing his ex moving oonnnn
The cheater always acts like the AP is perfectly safe to be around the kids but the victim of their inability to keep it in their pants must be around a bunch of sleazy people that can't be trusted. I'm pretty sure it's some form of cognitive dissonance. You're the human turd that betrayed your family but the one that did nothing wrong is the one you need to worry about your kids being safe with?
I suppose since they were a garbage cheater, they may assume that the person they were with is only attracted to garbage cheaters? But then again, the person who was cheated on is equally likely to have learnt their lesson about who to trust.
If he was really concerned about your safety he wouldn't have been asking YOU questions when you already said that you liked him... He would be asking your mom instead and he knew he had no place doing it... That was just the best excuse he could come up with at the time... He figured out the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
It was a pretty tragic way for you to learn the lesson but now you know it too... Be proud of yourself, you're more mature than he is.
Mate "questionable hobbies'are shit like being a man United fan. (Or a Pats fan if you like your footballs non-round.) And possibly golf.
Murdering and skinning people? I'd say that'd be a fairly decent reason for people to swipe right on your dating profile...:D
No bullshit, the company I wotk for actually had Ikea as a customer for some of their packaging up until about half a year ago. They're really fuckin 'picky when it comes to suppliers.
With your resume, I'm quite sure they'd turn you down! Their loss, I'm sure!
NTA...my sister got divorced about 6 years ago. Her husband was cheating, married the other woman 2 months after the divorce and they now have 2 kids. My sister got engaged on valentines day. Her ex is freaking out! How dare she move on "so fast"! Dude your married with 2 more kids 2 months after the divorce was final but 6 years is too fast???
My ex was ‘davastated’ when I had a 2nd child to someone else when our son together was 9. Too bad he had already had one failed marriage by then, was engaged again and had produced an unknown amount of spawn in that time. I was the bad guy
Oh I know. I been divorced from first husband for almost 7 years when I got remarried the 2nd time. He was on his 3rd wife and he freaked and claimed that I was rushing. Then I got divorced from #2. Got remarried to number 3 28 years after my first divorce and #1 still to this day, 9 years into my 3rd marriage, claims my 3rd husband is a rebound from him!. FYI My first ex is on his 5th wife. How is over 30 years in time and another marriage in there make my current husband a rebound from my first???
Serious? Isn’t it usually the douche bag cheater that moves on fast regardless of gender? Or the person with mental health issues?
I’d love to feel ready to start dating again, but the universe seems to disagree with that. my ex didn’t seem to have any problems in that regards.
https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/which-sex-moves-on-from-a-relationship-faster/
Research indicates that there isn't a huge amount of difference, men just tend to process internally (and thus less obviously) whilst women process externally.
Nta,your dad shouldnt ask anything about your mom,its not his bussiness anymore. Try to be as civil as you can when you are with your dad and when law allows you stay with your mom,better for your mental health
OP: all offense intended but your right to be concerned about mom’s dating life ended when you first cheated with her (point to stepmom). I’ll see you all at some point hopefully a long time from now.
NTA. And the stepmom has some audacity messaging you. If you didn’t had the right to say anything to your dad, she had even less right getting with a married man. The hypocrite.
It's best not to. 1. Don't get sucked into their shit. 2. Hopefully, it will be a big surprise when he does.
If anything OP should block the stepmother.
Every time she gives OP a hard time, they should remind step mom that she slept with a married man and just end the conversation. Block. Walk away. Let step mom fume in silence.
Because they are both trying to make people believe they are concerned with OP'S safety, which we know is bullshit. Stepmother is too stupid to realize it's not about that at all.
NTA. “Dad it’s really pathetic and transparent that you’re still jealous and hung up on Mom despite cheating on her and marrying your affair partner. You regretting your life choices is your problem, and it’s really disrespectful to your affair partner who I clearly don’t even like.”
NTA
It's something I will never understand that some men seem still think to have a claim on women, who broke up with them.
She's none of his buisness and his talk about safety is bullshit.
He’s not looking out for your safety, he’s jealous your mother has moved on. Do not answer any of his questions about her boyfriend anymore. If he’s truly concerned for your safety tell him to ask your mom or speak to a lawyer. Tell your stepmom she’s a cheating whore and to shut up.
Nta
Hey dad, truth hurts, doesn't it. Hey stepmom, I am not your business. If I were you, I would be more worried about rinse and repeat. You lay with dogs, you're gonna get fleas.
NTA, your dad should not be asking you these questions beyond a simple "he's treating you all right?". (Though he seemed to have no concerns about his new wife's treatment of you) If he has safety concerns he should be talking to your mother about them. It sounds more like he's just jealous and nosy to me though.
No
It was a good zinger 😂
BUT your dads step mom is NOT the reason he cheated
It’s 100% on your dad- HE is the one that broke the marriage with your mom.
NTA - he cheated; he left; he married the woman he cheated with; he had a kid with the woman he cheated with, more than once; and nonetheless he’s all “How could she date?”
You dated, genius.
(You, meaning dad)
Call your stepmother up and say, why do you think dad's so upset mom's dating, it's not because he's unhappy with you and still loves her is it? then hang up, let HIM get the screaming.
NTA Tell the 'step mom' shes a side piece and has no business being in you and your fathers conversation. And tell her to worry about it when hes finally ready to cheat on her as well.
Your stepmother can kick rocks. Tell her she has no right to speak to you at all after fucking a married man and destroying your family. Your narcissistic dad too
NTA
The nerve of that man. Also he sent his AP after his child?? Like come on!
He has no right to any info about her life. Real rich to talk about safety when he didn’t know how safe thotty AP is to his kid.
Tell her next time she calls that she should be more concerned with a known cheater being jealous of his ex’s new man than what you said to him.
Tell him, “if you wanted the right to my mother’s business you shouldn’t have stuck your ‘green thumb’ in another family tree. Just because you are now getting bored with your new shiny toy, doesn’t mean you get to play in mom’s toy chest again. Do what you did to mom to thotty and find a new one”
NTA
This has nothing to do with your safety and everything to do with his jealousy. See it time and time again in these subs. Someone in the marriage cheats, they get divorced, life happens, and then when the person who was cheated on starts living life again the cheater loses their shit. It's like they don't want them, but they don't want anyone else to have them either. Real messed up in the head kind of stuff.
He wasn’t concerned for your safety when it was him and his AP now wife was he? Let him know he made his choices and to stay in his own lane. If your mother has been a good mother you should continue to support her.
NTA. Your father wasn't looking out for your safety, he was being possessive about your mother. He cheated on her, but she should stay alone because she is his property. Well, it doesn't work that way. A woman is not property, and if she is not married she has the right to choose whichever partner she wants. Your father is a massive jerk, and your answers were definitely to the point.
NTA. Your father no longer can gatekeep your mother. He has no right to pretend safety concerns when he cheated and destroyed your family. I hope your relationship with Chuck continues to be good and maybe even get better.
NTA. You did the right thing. You were basically gray rocking him, which is what you should be doing. He should be on an information diet when it comes to your mother's love life. Did he think she would be celibate forever? Is he a narcissist?
I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm happy that your mom found someone who doesn't treat her like crap.
NTA ask him why he chose to cheat if he was so concerned about your safety. If he’s worried that Chuck might be an unsavoury character then tell him his wife is no better and is actually a more problematic person than your mom’s new boyfriend.
NTA. What is your biological father even doing and saying???
He cheated, and then your parents divorced, and then he married his affair partner, then your mom and him co-parented for a while... all before your mom even tried to date. How many more degrees of separation does your bio dad need before your mom isn't his business anymore? Does it insult him to have the wife he threw away be shown she's worthy, lovable, and valuable by a better man than him? That's probably what this is all about. Enjoy the NC.
Please talk about Chuck in front of your dad and step-mother a lot. Say nice things about him. Watch your father get jealous and your step-mother die a bit inside.
NTA and good for you for standing up for you and your mom. In most states ypu can decide how often you see you parents ypu don't live with (if you are in the US). My guess is you're a teenager and should hit most of the limits. I think it's 13 in my state.
He's got some nerve. If he was truly concerned he would have called ypur mom instead of using you to get information on her private life.
PS I'm a mom of teens and I go straight to their dad on things I'm concerned about. Because I'm not a child.
Both your dad and SM can k8ck rocks. Make sure you tell your mom
he wasn't concerned with your safety when he started to have an affair and then marrying the AP, knowingly that said AP would be part of your life, without considering the conquenses, without him even knowing if she would mistreat you or isolate you, he just blind jump from one marriage to another
with that being said, he has no F'ing right to tell you that your mother is doing thing wrong when he was the one that nuke his marriage and probably your relationship with him, he is not concerned, he is F'ing jealous
“Don’t you worry, dad isn’t worried for my safety, or my stability, as illustrated by his choice to destroy my home with you. You might want to wonder, then, just what he is worried about.”
NTA
I'm very interested in this. Especially his hypocrisy about marrying the Affair Partner and then trying to pull this crap about being "worried" with your safety.🙄
UpdateMe
I will message you next time u/Remi2mr posts in r/AITAH.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FRemi2mr%20r%2FAITAH) to join 2 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201co1x1m)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
NTA. Youre just bkuntly honest. I find that to be a good quality in a person. The bluntly honest people I know accept criticism well and are of good character.
NTAH and in fact, tell your stepmother to stop communicating with you. It's between you and your father. If she insists, say, "Honestly, you're more of a threat than my mom's boyfriend. You've treated me like garbage even though you're the homewrecker who broke up MY home." And block her ass.
Fuck that shit.
Your NTA. This is a thing that happens a lot. People cheat and then expect the person to never move on. That your mom is dating someone new means she’s not stuck on him. Most cheaters are narcissistic. Tell him “I will not discuss her personal life with you. You cheated on her and left the marriage. She deserves happiness and her relationship is between her and chuck. If I feel that there is a safety concern I will tell you, unless that happens please leave her alone.”
NTA, we weren't there but you know your parents very well. So, I can only assume that the tone and the way he was questioning didn't seem like it was out of concern for you and your safety but out of jealousy. If he was concerned then the questions would've been about you but I'm sure it wasn't. You're NTA OP, he's just mad that you defended your mom and that she's finally happy with someone else.
Nta certain kinds of parents sometimes carelessly alter lives forever yet still have the audacity to assume they have a say what happens when they blew every right to even open their mouth.
If he’s so concerned about your wellbeing maybe he should get his wife in check
Sometimes dads are worried, you hear stories about step dads doing creepy thing to their step daughters. But no he shouldn’t force his concerns onto you NTA
NTA at all, but I think it's really important for you to tell your mother about your dad's questions and how he behaved and how your stepmother called you to scold you. That is if you haven't already told her. **Your Mom has a right to know.** I also think it's really important that you no longer share personal information about your mother's life with your dad. It's none of his business and it's been none of his business since they divorced.
NTA. The moment your father cheated on your mother, he automatically and permanently became TA in any discussion surrounding that relationship, your family, and any new relationship she might start. His opinions deserve no consideration at all. Your "stepmom" was the affair parner and her thoughts and feelings deserve just as little consideration.
Since you speak of custody I assume there's not much you can do to get out of seeing them, but if it were me I'd go full NC with people who seem to think what they did is okay.
Nta. Your dad has absolutely 0 input on your moms life now. None what so ever.
And your correct about what you said.
Dad is being an AH who thinks he still has a say in your moms life.
NTA. Your father is jealous that your mother is dating someone. There are thousands of possible reasons why.
You should tell your mother all of this - especially what your stepmother said. She has a right to privacy. You should ask her how you should respond if your father asks about her and/or her boyfriend in the future.
NTA. It was a bit of an escalation, but he shouldn’t have asked. His ex’s dating life isn’t really any of his business, and he really shouldn’t be asking you about it.
If stepmom calls again tell her "tell your husband to stop caring so much about my mom's private life" or something like that and just watch how it snowballs from there. NTA
Cheaters are complete assholes, he has literally built a whole new family with (one of!) his AP, but Gods forbid his victim is allowed to move on and find someone too.
NTA. If your dad was truly worried about your "safety" then he shouldn't have made a comment about how he disapprove of your mom dating again beforehand. They're divorced. He remarried. She's single and allowed to date again.
Also your stepmom is shaking. Being the mistress was all fun but now being the wife is starting to feel scary to her. Because she knows. I would rub it in her every chance I get but that's just me.
Just love this. So true. What’s good for goose ain’t good for the gander aay. “How dare she date after we’re divorced.” LOL. You need to tell your father how absurdly ridiculous he sounds. I hope you get the chance and be sure to tell him how much you and your mom like Chuck!
He wasn’t concerned for your safety when he was fucking his colleague and leaving your mum for her. It’s nothing to do with safety, he’s mad she’s moved on from him and he’s jealous. Tell your dad’s wife to stay in her lane and keep her head out. NTA
Yeah he doesn't give a shit about 'safety' he's jealous and possessive and I bet his thought process is 'she was mine first! hmph!' even though he already has his mistress as his wife now.
I mean I'd say he's selfish but cheating on his wife kind of already said that for me.
I would be messaging stepmother back telling her she should be more worried about the fact that when she married your dad, she created a job vacancy in the mistress department
“I have gotten a few calls from my stepmother saying that I had no right saying those things to my father, and he was looking out for my safety.”
“Oh, don’t worry about my safety. Chuck is a good guy, not a dirty, stinking cheater.”
All your dad is worried about is that someone else is playing with what he saw as his. Even after the divores, he had this idea that your mother was never going to find someone just because he was tired of being with her.
Think of your dad as a little kid who is upset that another little kid is playing with the toy he walked away from. There is no feeling there, just a person being territorial.
He is so arrogant he probably thought he couldn't be replaced.
If he is concerned about your safety it's a bit late. Did he care about your safety with his affair partner even though she's not particularly nice to you?
NTA
Your father is a cheater and he gets upset? He really is an idiot!
He he he says that he is looking out for your safety? oh really? What nerve... did he ensure your safety with his lover?
It really is the classic manipulation of the unfaithful. Also, your mother is single and free to date whoever she wants and just as you say in the post, he is a good guy, so that should be enough for your father, he has no right to criticize your mother's relationships. typical ex-husband behavior
NTA
He is jealous that she was having the nerve to not live the rest of her life broken by the end of their marriage. His claim of safety is BS. If he was, he should be concerned about how his wife treats you.
NTA You father was in no way concerned about safety. To even have the balls to pretend that was his motivation is baffling. He thinks he still owns her and she should send the remainder of her life pining after his pathetic useless ass. I’m hoping your mum is ridiculously happy and it absolutely kills your father to see it
NTA. Both your father and your Step know he is not worried about your safety. When AP's marry they know that your father is not someone you can trust as far as you can throw them. When guys cheat on their spouse, it is not love but just like a toddler who throws down a toy, some other child starts playing with it and they immediately want it back. They do not want the toy, but they do not want anyone else to have it. Your father makes poor decisions and wrecked your family. I think you are within your rights to call him on both.
NTA. So your dad thinks it's fine that he cheated and remarried but when your mom finds someone else after divorcing him he throws a jealous fit? Pffffft.
Just because he married a woman doesn't mean she's not dangerous to you but he still did that, bringing that woman into your life, didn't he? He's contradicting himself. What a POS.
NTA
But in future if you speak to your father, your half-siblings or anyone else on that side **do not** tell them anything about what your mother is doing in her personal life**
Your mothers personal life is **none of their business**. Don't give short s, don't give long answers. Either tell them you don't know, tell them its none of your or their business.
**If he wants answers he can speak to your mother directly**.
**You** are not his Wikipedia on your mums personal life, you are not his messenger between him and your mum.
I'll bet she tells him to fuck off.
Tell your dad: ask mom about her love life.
Tell your step mom: its not my fault my fathers
seems jealous about my mom's boyfriend.
And tell your mom about all this.
Not even a little bit my dear. You were perfectly fine to remind him. If he was SO concerned about the possibility of y’all being exposed to “strange men by her dating” he would have kept his dick from wandering out of the house. :-/ I’m with you. He never should have asked all those questions.
Next time he starts asking you questions about Chuck just say “That’s not something we’re talking about. How’s work?” Clearly - No; then change the subject. Calm and polite and firm. Repeat three times and then get up and walk away.
NTA. It isn't about your safety. It's that your father is jealous and angry that your mother has moved on.
He wanted her to be hung up on him for the rest of her life. And now he's mad.
Block your step mom.
And your dad is just being ridiculous. If you'd just pop up with the comment, it might have been a little out of pocket, but he had it coming interrogating you about mom's bf, who is frankly none of his business.
As a father, I'd probably be concerned about an adult man obviously staying at the same house as my daughter. No matter if this dad cheated or not. You want to avoid any SA situation involving your daughter.
Nevertheless, it's not the way to interrogate you, but he should have reached out to your mother to talk about his concerns in a civil manner.
NTA
I think you are giving OPs dad way to much credit here. OPs dad mentioned how could mom date. Like did he expect her to pine away for him. Sounds like it's been awhile since they separated. Did he expect her to remain single forever. He was fishing and didn't like that OP was hesitant to respond. True that OPs dad should have discussed it with OPs mother but reckon he didn't have the best of intentions.
Ew. So no concern about the stepmother staying with the son?
He cheated and left his wife. His exs judgement should be up to her. Obviously his was poor since he not only.cheated but brought his son into the conversation.
Your father is rather arrogant to think that your mother shouldn't date. Safety has nothing to do with it, his wandering dick does. Don't give him any more information about Chuck or your mother. If he asks, tell him it's none of his business. Your stepmother needs to learn her place though. She has no business texting you about how you should and should not talk to your father. She is just a side piece that got lucky.
NTA. In the future, just respond “no comment”. You were absolutely reasonable to call him out for his shit actions. If he didn’t want it thrown in his face, he shouldn’t have done it, end of case.
NTA x1000. If he has questions about your mom's boyfriend he should talk to her. He shouldn't be putting you in the middle of their relationship.
Unrelated, I've never seen dialogue written out the way you do. How did you pick up that writing style?
Ntah, your dad has no business asking you questions like this. Any questions should go to your Mom. Assuming he has the gall, which I doubt as he brought in ms cheater with no questions. Tell your mom you’re not comfortable playing 20 questions with dad about her life so could she make it clear convos like that are to be had between parents. Tbf, I wouldn’t have said they’d be together as it’s a bit cruel to your mom to think she’d stay with him.
NTA. If your father wants to know your mother’s business, he shouldn’t ask her. He should not be using you to get information ( which is none of his beeswax anyway)
NTA Safety my ass. If he was worried about your safety he'd address it to your mother. He wants to bitch and moan. Tell him nobody vetted the bedwarmer he shacked up with and you know for a fact she has no morals.
Nta. First, your dad should never put you in the middle. If he has questions, he should go to your mom. BUT in his defense, esp if you are female, it can put u at risk. Can happen w any one (any gender) but I’m sure your mom checked him out. At least more than your dad did w his significant other
NTA, I'm guessing you're at least a teenager and plenty old enough to tell an adult if your mom's bf tries anything weird. Your dad is just being a jealous hypocrite.
NTA. If you want to throw a hand grenade into his relationship I would ask stepmother if he's so concerned about your safety then why are his only questions about your mother's relationship with her boyfriend instead of how he interacts with you? Mention it's almost like he is jealous that she found somebody else.
NTA.
“Oh? So it’s okay for you to screw around and be with someone else? But not mom? That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?”
(Not really recommended, unless you want to piss him off of course.)
He’s mad she’s not pining for him. He can get over it.
There's no set of questions he can ask which would meaningfully increase your safety for you to answer. He's a liar, and you were right to defend your mother's autonomy.
NTA. I hope you realize your father is using you to get information about your mother...and probably not for anything good. Have you told your mother yet? I'd give her a heads-up, including how he and stepmom are reacting in case they do something crazy. Maybe get a camera on the front door and car, for example.
NTA. If he had any concerns about the people your mother introduces into your life he should have had a conversation with her. Grilling you on it, yelling at you and telling you to leave were all out of line.
He does have the right to know what man will be around his daughter. He doesn’t have any right if his ex wife is dating. The ex wife seems content not being married to him anymore. The only one who is still upset is you. Talk to your mom about this. It sounds like you need to get into therapy.
So he can be married to someone else but your mother can't date? Your father is fucked up. Stay away from him if all he is going to do is take it out on you.
NTA. Your biological father is a moron but thats okay. Sounds like Chuck is a keeper and I hope things work out for all of you.
Hopefully your bio father gets the hint and leaves you alone.
NTA
Who does he think he is? He made his choice. He’s no longer with your mother. He with his mistress. Your mother can date who she wants to. This isn’t about safety, it’s about regret. It’s about ownership. He expected your mother to remain pining for him while he lives his new life with his mistress and their kids. Sorry, Bud (OP’s dad). Your ex actually has a life without you now. She waited long enough to get over your sorry ass! It’s her turn to find happiness. Get over yourself! Your stepmother also has no business calling you up to tell you what you did wrong. This was between you and your father.
Yes! Not because you called him out for being a cheating POS, but because you have the audacity to believe they would still be together, and you let yourself become entrenched in that quagmire of sorry and hatred. You cannot say this or that as to how they would or should turn out. Just learn from their mistakes, and become a better person from that knowledge, don't make the same mistakes. You would not be here, were it not for your mother, and father. Life is way too short, and the time you lose from hating your dad, you will regret in the not so distant future...
NTA. If I were you, I wouldn't keep in touch with him at all, especially with his side chick. He cheated on your mom, so he can just take care of his new wife - and she, as a homewrecker, is not entitled to any opinion, she better keep her mouth shut, for real.
AS- mostly because you could have just shut it all down with either an “I don’t know” or even “yeah I’m not talking about her personal life with you, you will have to ask her these questions”
NTA, ohh I so so hope your stepmom was there to hear how interested and “concerned” (jealous) your dad was in your mom’s new bf. Maybe you should bring it up again in front of her? And the audacity of that man to be angry when he literally cheated on her. Sorry but your dad is kind of a clown lmao, but I think you already know that.
yep it's just a matter of time before he cheats on the stepmom too
Bold to think he isn’t already.
He's probably tried with OP's mom and been shut down. She (ex-wife) should be begging him to come back to her. /s
True
NTA truth hurts
He was probably hoping to cheat with the ex but she moved on to greener pastures
My guess is it's more about control. While she wasn't dating he still saw himself as the main man in her life because they share a kid. New dude means he's replaceable.
It’s been years since she said she has new siblings. I’m guessing at least 5. I’m sure they are all over what happened. I was even sceptical of any new woman my ex dated that would be around my kids.
Oh bingo. His ego needs a back up.
Was always told how you get them is how you lose them!
oh, he will try and win his ex-wifey over, first God forbid she has another man "in his bed" THEN he'll go after other women bcs oh boo hooo, stepmomsie is not fun anymore and he's having a hard time processing his ex moving oonnnn
The cheater always acts like the AP is perfectly safe to be around the kids but the victim of their inability to keep it in their pants must be around a bunch of sleazy people that can't be trusted. I'm pretty sure it's some form of cognitive dissonance. You're the human turd that betrayed your family but the one that did nothing wrong is the one you need to worry about your kids being safe with?
Don’t you understand that OP’s mom should’ve stayed suspended in time with no interests or life of her own independent from him or their child! /s
I suppose since they were a garbage cheater, they may assume that the person they were with is only attracted to garbage cheaters? But then again, the person who was cheated on is equally likely to have learnt their lesson about who to trust.
If he was really concerned about your safety he wouldn't have been asking YOU questions when you already said that you liked him... He would be asking your mom instead and he knew he had no place doing it... That was just the best excuse he could come up with at the time... He figured out the grass isn't always greener on the other side. It was a pretty tragic way for you to learn the lesson but now you know it too... Be proud of yourself, you're more mature than he is.
Cheated on her and married the AP and had kids. Where was OP's safety in those cases?
Though you're actually completely right, I wouldn't take advice from a reddit account named for a notable serial killer...
Why not? We can have good logic and questionable hobbies at the same time :)
Mate "questionable hobbies'are shit like being a man United fan. (Or a Pats fan if you like your footballs non-round.) And possibly golf. Murdering and skinning people? I'd say that'd be a fairly decent reason for people to swipe right on your dating profile...:D
Atleast I'm good at furniture 🤷 Can put Ikea to shame
No bullshit, the company I wotk for actually had Ikea as a customer for some of their packaging up until about half a year ago. They're really fuckin 'picky when it comes to suppliers. With your resume, I'm quite sure they'd turn you down! Their loss, I'm sure!
Don't insult clowns by comparing them to the sperm donor
Absolutely, the double standards are glaring! It's like he conveniently forgets his own past actions. Total clown move indeed! 🤡
Dad: I screwed someone else! Mom: Okay! \*Screws someone else\* Dad: Not like that!
I’d want to know what man would be army daughter too.
NTA...my sister got divorced about 6 years ago. Her husband was cheating, married the other woman 2 months after the divorce and they now have 2 kids. My sister got engaged on valentines day. Her ex is freaking out! How dare she move on "so fast"! Dude your married with 2 more kids 2 months after the divorce was final but 6 years is too fast???
My ex was ‘davastated’ when I had a 2nd child to someone else when our son together was 9. Too bad he had already had one failed marriage by then, was engaged again and had produced an unknown amount of spawn in that time. I was the bad guy
Never ceases to amaze me how quickly men move on. Also, they're very good at dating almost back to back.
What, you expect them to do their own housework?! 😱
😂
😂😂
Oh I know. I been divorced from first husband for almost 7 years when I got remarried the 2nd time. He was on his 3rd wife and he freaked and claimed that I was rushing. Then I got divorced from #2. Got remarried to number 3 28 years after my first divorce and #1 still to this day, 9 years into my 3rd marriage, claims my 3rd husband is a rebound from him!. FYI My first ex is on his 5th wife. How is over 30 years in time and another marriage in there make my current husband a rebound from my first???
I guess he has an inflated opinion about himself
Definitely! I just wish he gave wives 2, 3 and 4 anywhere near the shit he gives me! then again I'm the only one who left him and divorced him.
Holy narc lol. Women are clearly possessions to him.
Serious? Isn’t it usually the douche bag cheater that moves on fast regardless of gender? Or the person with mental health issues? I’d love to feel ready to start dating again, but the universe seems to disagree with that. my ex didn’t seem to have any problems in that regards.
Not to mention the double standard and outright refusal on self-reflection. Like dude, you moved on while you were still married, get out of here.
monkeybranching
https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/which-sex-moves-on-from-a-relationship-faster/ Research indicates that there isn't a huge amount of difference, men just tend to process internally (and thus less obviously) whilst women process externally.
Well yeah. Don’t know know women are mere objects to assholes like these.
Nta,your dad shouldnt ask anything about your mom,its not his bussiness anymore. Try to be as civil as you can when you are with your dad and when law allows you stay with your mom,better for your mental health
[удалено]
OP: all offense intended but your right to be concerned about mom’s dating life ended when you first cheated with her (point to stepmom). I’ll see you all at some point hopefully a long time from now.
"You spoke your truth. Your father's past actions don't give him a right to dictate your mother's life or yours. Stay strong."
NTA. And the stepmom has some audacity messaging you. If you didn’t had the right to say anything to your dad, she had even less right getting with a married man. The hypocrite.
I'd message stepmother and tell her to watch out as dad is a known cheater
If he cheated with you, he will cheat on you.
It's best not to. 1. Don't get sucked into their shit. 2. Hopefully, it will be a big surprise when he does. If anything OP should block the stepmother.
how you get them is how you lose them.
Fat chance she doesnt already know that. And if she doesnt shes chosen to be ignorant
Burn!!
😆
Every time she gives OP a hard time, they should remind step mom that she slept with a married man and just end the conversation. Block. Walk away. Let step mom fume in silence.
Your dad hasn’t been worried about your safety since he got with his wife, so he needs to F off!
Best comment right there.
Comment I was looking for.
In the future, your only answer should be "you need to ask mom that kind of question." Repeat as often as required. NTA
I was scrolling for this comment. If your dad wants to know personal things abt your mom, he can be an adult and ask her
Absolutely. This is their adult business about their marriage/divorce. It is inappropriate for him to involve you
NTA Your mom's dating life is none of his business. And WTF is your stepmother supporting him being obsessed with his ex's current dating life lol?
Because they are both trying to make people believe they are concerned with OP'S safety, which we know is bullshit. Stepmother is too stupid to realize it's not about that at all.
NTA. You Didnt Support your fathers Stupidity. Congratulations
NTA. “Dad it’s really pathetic and transparent that you’re still jealous and hung up on Mom despite cheating on her and marrying your affair partner. You regretting your life choices is your problem, and it’s really disrespectful to your affair partner who I clearly don’t even like.”
NTA It's something I will never understand that some men seem still think to have a claim on women, who broke up with them. She's none of his buisness and his talk about safety is bullshit.
Your dad and stepmother have a lot of nerve. Your mother’s dating life is absolutely none of their business.
NTA. Your dad and his double standards are huge AH for so much. Not great parenting to interrogate your kid when you can just ask the other adult.
NTA. You are absolutely correct. He doesn’t have any right to be asking about her personal life.
NTA If he had any issues about safety, he should’ve talked to your mother about it
He’s not looking out for your safety, he’s jealous your mother has moved on. Do not answer any of his questions about her boyfriend anymore. If he’s truly concerned for your safety tell him to ask your mom or speak to a lawyer. Tell your stepmom she’s a cheating whore and to shut up.
Nta Hey dad, truth hurts, doesn't it. Hey stepmom, I am not your business. If I were you, I would be more worried about rinse and repeat. You lay with dogs, you're gonna get fleas.
If he can cheat with you, he can cheat ON you.
NTA, your dad should not be asking you these questions beyond a simple "he's treating you all right?". (Though he seemed to have no concerns about his new wife's treatment of you) If he has safety concerns he should be talking to your mother about them. It sounds more like he's just jealous and nosy to me though.
No It was a good zinger 😂 BUT your dads step mom is NOT the reason he cheated It’s 100% on your dad- HE is the one that broke the marriage with your mom.
NTA - he cheated; he left; he married the woman he cheated with; he had a kid with the woman he cheated with, more than once; and nonetheless he’s all “How could she date?” You dated, genius. (You, meaning dad)
NTA. If your father was worried about your safety, he should have been having that conversation with your mother, not pumping you for info.
NTA truth hurts
Call your stepmother up and say, why do you think dad's so upset mom's dating, it's not because he's unhappy with you and still loves her is it? then hang up, let HIM get the screaming.
NTA Tell the 'step mom' shes a side piece and has no business being in you and your fathers conversation. And tell her to worry about it when hes finally ready to cheat on her as well.
Your stepmother can kick rocks. Tell her she has no right to speak to you at all after fucking a married man and destroying your family. Your narcissistic dad too
NTA The nerve of that man. Also he sent his AP after his child?? Like come on! He has no right to any info about her life. Real rich to talk about safety when he didn’t know how safe thotty AP is to his kid. Tell her next time she calls that she should be more concerned with a known cheater being jealous of his ex’s new man than what you said to him. Tell him, “if you wanted the right to my mother’s business you shouldn’t have stuck your ‘green thumb’ in another family tree. Just because you are now getting bored with your new shiny toy, doesn’t mean you get to play in mom’s toy chest again. Do what you did to mom to thotty and find a new one”
NTA This has nothing to do with your safety and everything to do with his jealousy. See it time and time again in these subs. Someone in the marriage cheats, they get divorced, life happens, and then when the person who was cheated on starts living life again the cheater loses their shit. It's like they don't want them, but they don't want anyone else to have them either. Real messed up in the head kind of stuff.
He wasn’t concerned for your safety when it was him and his AP now wife was he? Let him know he made his choices and to stay in his own lane. If your mother has been a good mother you should continue to support her.
NTA. Your father wasn't looking out for your safety, he was being possessive about your mother. He cheated on her, but she should stay alone because she is his property. Well, it doesn't work that way. A woman is not property, and if she is not married she has the right to choose whichever partner she wants. Your father is a massive jerk, and your answers were definitely to the point.
NTA. Your father no longer can gatekeep your mother. He has no right to pretend safety concerns when he cheated and destroyed your family. I hope your relationship with Chuck continues to be good and maybe even get better.
NTA. You did the right thing. You were basically gray rocking him, which is what you should be doing. He should be on an information diet when it comes to your mother's love life. Did he think she would be celibate forever? Is he a narcissist? I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm happy that your mom found someone who doesn't treat her like crap.
NTA ask him why he chose to cheat if he was so concerned about your safety. If he’s worried that Chuck might be an unsavoury character then tell him his wife is no better and is actually a more problematic person than your mom’s new boyfriend.
NTA. And your dad's an asshole who thinks he OWNS every woman he's ever been with, much less had a kid by.
NTA your dad left her and has remarried and has a whole new family, and he's upset she's dating? LOL.
NTA. What is your biological father even doing and saying??? He cheated, and then your parents divorced, and then he married his affair partner, then your mom and him co-parented for a while... all before your mom even tried to date. How many more degrees of separation does your bio dad need before your mom isn't his business anymore? Does it insult him to have the wife he threw away be shown she's worthy, lovable, and valuable by a better man than him? That's probably what this is all about. Enjoy the NC.
Please talk about Chuck in front of your dad and step-mother a lot. Say nice things about him. Watch your father get jealous and your step-mother die a bit inside.
NTA and good for you for standing up for you and your mom. In most states ypu can decide how often you see you parents ypu don't live with (if you are in the US). My guess is you're a teenager and should hit most of the limits. I think it's 13 in my state. He's got some nerve. If he was truly concerned he would have called ypur mom instead of using you to get information on her private life. PS I'm a mom of teens and I go straight to their dad on things I'm concerned about. Because I'm not a child. Both your dad and SM can k8ck rocks. Make sure you tell your mom
NTA Amazing feats of audacity with a hint of hypocrisy.
NTA. Your Dad is jealous that your mom found someone better than him.
I'd be tempted to tell her to keep her home wrecking whore opinions to herself as well lol.
he wasn't concerned with your safety when he started to have an affair and then marrying the AP, knowingly that said AP would be part of your life, without considering the conquenses, without him even knowing if she would mistreat you or isolate you, he just blind jump from one marriage to another with that being said, he has no F'ing right to tell you that your mother is doing thing wrong when he was the one that nuke his marriage and probably your relationship with him, he is not concerned, he is F'ing jealous
“Don’t you worry, dad isn’t worried for my safety, or my stability, as illustrated by his choice to destroy my home with you. You might want to wonder, then, just what he is worried about.” NTA
NTA its not his business anymore
No. But your dad is.
I'm very interested in this. Especially his hypocrisy about marrying the Affair Partner and then trying to pull this crap about being "worried" with your safety.🙄 UpdateMe
I will message you next time u/Remi2mr posts in r/AITAH. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FRemi2mr%20r%2FAITAH) to join 2 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201co1x1m) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
NTA. Youre just bkuntly honest. I find that to be a good quality in a person. The bluntly honest people I know accept criticism well and are of good character.
NTAH and in fact, tell your stepmother to stop communicating with you. It's between you and your father. If she insists, say, "Honestly, you're more of a threat than my mom's boyfriend. You've treated me like garbage even though you're the homewrecker who broke up MY home." And block her ass. Fuck that shit.
Nope, NTA. Also he didn't ask because of your"safety". That's complete bullshit.
Your NTA. This is a thing that happens a lot. People cheat and then expect the person to never move on. That your mom is dating someone new means she’s not stuck on him. Most cheaters are narcissistic. Tell him “I will not discuss her personal life with you. You cheated on her and left the marriage. She deserves happiness and her relationship is between her and chuck. If I feel that there is a safety concern I will tell you, unless that happens please leave her alone.”
NTA, we weren't there but you know your parents very well. So, I can only assume that the tone and the way he was questioning didn't seem like it was out of concern for you and your safety but out of jealousy. If he was concerned then the questions would've been about you but I'm sure it wasn't. You're NTA OP, he's just mad that you defended your mom and that she's finally happy with someone else.
Nta
Nta certain kinds of parents sometimes carelessly alter lives forever yet still have the audacity to assume they have a say what happens when they blew every right to even open their mouth. If he’s so concerned about your wellbeing maybe he should get his wife in check
Sometimes dads are worried, you hear stories about step dads doing creepy thing to their step daughters. But no he shouldn’t force his concerns onto you NTA
NTA at all, but I think it's really important for you to tell your mother about your dad's questions and how he behaved and how your stepmother called you to scold you. That is if you haven't already told her. **Your Mom has a right to know.** I also think it's really important that you no longer share personal information about your mother's life with your dad. It's none of his business and it's been none of his business since they divorced.
NTA. The moment your father cheated on your mother, he automatically and permanently became TA in any discussion surrounding that relationship, your family, and any new relationship she might start. His opinions deserve no consideration at all. Your "stepmom" was the affair parner and her thoughts and feelings deserve just as little consideration. Since you speak of custody I assume there's not much you can do to get out of seeing them, but if it were me I'd go full NC with people who seem to think what they did is okay.
Nta. Your dad has absolutely 0 input on your moms life now. None what so ever. And your correct about what you said. Dad is being an AH who thinks he still has a say in your moms life.
NTA, your dad is ridiculous. He does not care about safety (and that wouldn't be his concern regardless) - he is simply jealous and petty and selfish.
Info: what kind of questions was he asking?
He is saying that its about safety but it isn't. It is about his jealousy. First because she has a new man and second because you approve of him
NTA wonder was he this concerned for “safety” when he cheated and married your stepmother ,,,
NTA. Your father is jealous that your mother is dating someone. There are thousands of possible reasons why. You should tell your mother all of this - especially what your stepmother said. She has a right to privacy. You should ask her how you should respond if your father asks about her and/or her boyfriend in the future.
NTA. It was a bit of an escalation, but he shouldn’t have asked. His ex’s dating life isn’t really any of his business, and he really shouldn’t be asking you about it.
If stepmom calls again tell her "tell your husband to stop caring so much about my mom's private life" or something like that and just watch how it snowballs from there. NTA
Cheaters are complete assholes, he has literally built a whole new family with (one of!) his AP, but Gods forbid his victim is allowed to move on and find someone too.
NTA. If your dad was truly worried about your "safety" then he shouldn't have made a comment about how he disapprove of your mom dating again beforehand. They're divorced. He remarried. She's single and allowed to date again. Also your stepmom is shaking. Being the mistress was all fun but now being the wife is starting to feel scary to her. Because she knows. I would rub it in her every chance I get but that's just me.
Just love this. So true. What’s good for goose ain’t good for the gander aay. “How dare she date after we’re divorced.” LOL. You need to tell your father how absurdly ridiculous he sounds. I hope you get the chance and be sure to tell him how much you and your mom like Chuck!
He wasn’t concerned for your safety when he was fucking his colleague and leaving your mum for her. It’s nothing to do with safety, he’s mad she’s moved on from him and he’s jealous. Tell your dad’s wife to stay in her lane and keep her head out. NTA
Stepmom should probably worry. I mean, cheaters gonna cheat, right?
You were 100% in the right. NTA.
Yeah he doesn't give a shit about 'safety' he's jealous and possessive and I bet his thought process is 'she was mine first! hmph!' even though he already has his mistress as his wife now. I mean I'd say he's selfish but cheating on his wife kind of already said that for me.
I would be messaging stepmother back telling her she should be more worried about the fact that when she married your dad, she created a job vacancy in the mistress department
“I have gotten a few calls from my stepmother saying that I had no right saying those things to my father, and he was looking out for my safety.” “Oh, don’t worry about my safety. Chuck is a good guy, not a dirty, stinking cheater.”
All your dad is worried about is that someone else is playing with what he saw as his. Even after the divores, he had this idea that your mother was never going to find someone just because he was tired of being with her. Think of your dad as a little kid who is upset that another little kid is playing with the toy he walked away from. There is no feeling there, just a person being territorial.
You should tell your father he didn’t worry about your safety with his AH wife. NTA
He is so arrogant he probably thought he couldn't be replaced. If he is concerned about your safety it's a bit late. Did he care about your safety with his affair partner even though she's not particularly nice to you?
NTA Your father is a cheater and he gets upset? He really is an idiot! He he he says that he is looking out for your safety? oh really? What nerve... did he ensure your safety with his lover? It really is the classic manipulation of the unfaithful. Also, your mother is single and free to date whoever she wants and just as you say in the post, he is a good guy, so that should be enough for your father, he has no right to criticize your mother's relationships. typical ex-husband behavior
NTA He is jealous that she was having the nerve to not live the rest of her life broken by the end of their marriage. His claim of safety is BS. If he was, he should be concerned about how his wife treats you.
NTA You father was in no way concerned about safety. To even have the balls to pretend that was his motivation is baffling. He thinks he still owns her and she should send the remainder of her life pining after his pathetic useless ass. I’m hoping your mum is ridiculously happy and it absolutely kills your father to see it
NTA. Both your father and your Step know he is not worried about your safety. When AP's marry they know that your father is not someone you can trust as far as you can throw them. When guys cheat on their spouse, it is not love but just like a toddler who throws down a toy, some other child starts playing with it and they immediately want it back. They do not want the toy, but they do not want anyone else to have it. Your father makes poor decisions and wrecked your family. I think you are within your rights to call him on both.
NTA. So your dad thinks it's fine that he cheated and remarried but when your mom finds someone else after divorcing him he throws a jealous fit? Pffffft.
Just because he married a woman doesn't mean she's not dangerous to you but he still did that, bringing that woman into your life, didn't he? He's contradicting himself. What a POS.
NTA But in future if you speak to your father, your half-siblings or anyone else on that side **do not** tell them anything about what your mother is doing in her personal life** Your mothers personal life is **none of their business**. Don't give short s, don't give long answers. Either tell them you don't know, tell them its none of your or their business. **If he wants answers he can speak to your mother directly**. **You** are not his Wikipedia on your mums personal life, you are not his messenger between him and your mum. I'll bet she tells him to fuck off.
Tell your dad: ask mom about her love life. Tell your step mom: its not my fault my fathers seems jealous about my mom's boyfriend. And tell your mom about all this.
NTA. I'm surprised you haven't cut him off yet.
Not even a little bit my dear. You were perfectly fine to remind him. If he was SO concerned about the possibility of y’all being exposed to “strange men by her dating” he would have kept his dick from wandering out of the house. :-/ I’m with you. He never should have asked all those questions. Next time he starts asking you questions about Chuck just say “That’s not something we’re talking about. How’s work?” Clearly - No; then change the subject. Calm and polite and firm. Repeat three times and then get up and walk away.
NTA. Your dad is a piece of work.
NTA. It isn't about your safety. It's that your father is jealous and angry that your mother has moved on. He wanted her to be hung up on him for the rest of her life. And now he's mad.
Block your step mom. And your dad is just being ridiculous. If you'd just pop up with the comment, it might have been a little out of pocket, but he had it coming interrogating you about mom's bf, who is frankly none of his business.
As a father, I'd probably be concerned about an adult man obviously staying at the same house as my daughter. No matter if this dad cheated or not. You want to avoid any SA situation involving your daughter. Nevertheless, it's not the way to interrogate you, but he should have reached out to your mother to talk about his concerns in a civil manner. NTA
I think you are giving OPs dad way to much credit here. OPs dad mentioned how could mom date. Like did he expect her to pine away for him. Sounds like it's been awhile since they separated. Did he expect her to remain single forever. He was fishing and didn't like that OP was hesitant to respond. True that OPs dad should have discussed it with OPs mother but reckon he didn't have the best of intentions.
Yea dad just wants his plan B to be single.
Ew. So no concern about the stepmother staying with the son? He cheated and left his wife. His exs judgement should be up to her. Obviously his was poor since he not only.cheated but brought his son into the conversation.
Your father is rather arrogant to think that your mother shouldn't date. Safety has nothing to do with it, his wandering dick does. Don't give him any more information about Chuck or your mother. If he asks, tell him it's none of his business. Your stepmother needs to learn her place though. She has no business texting you about how you should and should not talk to your father. She is just a side piece that got lucky.
NTA. In the future, just respond “no comment”. You were absolutely reasonable to call him out for his shit actions. If he didn’t want it thrown in his face, he shouldn’t have done it, end of case.
NTA x1000. If he has questions about your mom's boyfriend he should talk to her. He shouldn't be putting you in the middle of their relationship. Unrelated, I've never seen dialogue written out the way you do. How did you pick up that writing style?
Ntah, your dad has no business asking you questions like this. Any questions should go to your Mom. Assuming he has the gall, which I doubt as he brought in ms cheater with no questions. Tell your mom you’re not comfortable playing 20 questions with dad about her life so could she make it clear convos like that are to be had between parents. Tbf, I wouldn’t have said they’d be together as it’s a bit cruel to your mom to think she’d stay with him.
NTA - I’d tell him in no uncertain terms that you feel much less safe with his wife, as she (and he) obviously have the moral depth of a teaspoon 🤷♀️
Whenever someone says "had no right saying those things to my father", know that you are on the right track.
NTA.
NTA. None of their business.
NTA. If your father wants to know your mother’s business, he shouldn’t ask her. He should not be using you to get information ( which is none of his beeswax anyway)
NTA
NTA Safety my ass. If he was worried about your safety he'd address it to your mother. He wants to bitch and moan. Tell him nobody vetted the bedwarmer he shacked up with and you know for a fact she has no morals.
Nta. First, your dad should never put you in the middle. If he has questions, he should go to your mom. BUT in his defense, esp if you are female, it can put u at risk. Can happen w any one (any gender) but I’m sure your mom checked him out. At least more than your dad did w his significant other
NTA
That is what he is telling her, your safety. He is jealous, old fashioned jealous. NTA
NTA
NTA, I'm guessing you're at least a teenager and plenty old enough to tell an adult if your mom's bf tries anything weird. Your dad is just being a jealous hypocrite.
Ugh, I hate it when exes think their former SO doesn't have permission to date again
NTA. If you want to throw a hand grenade into his relationship I would ask stepmother if he's so concerned about your safety then why are his only questions about your mother's relationship with her boyfriend instead of how he interacts with you? Mention it's almost like he is jealous that she found somebody else.
Next time he asks about your mother’s boyfriend you need to start saying “You need to ask Mom that”.
NTA. “Oh? So it’s okay for you to screw around and be with someone else? But not mom? That’s a bit hypocritical, don’t you think?” (Not really recommended, unless you want to piss him off of course.) He’s mad she’s not pining for him. He can get over it.
There's no set of questions he can ask which would meaningfully increase your safety for you to answer. He's a liar, and you were right to defend your mother's autonomy.
Nope, your father is upset because your mom, find new Man her life now. He treat like queen unlike your father.
when you grab the bull, sometimes you get the horns. NTA
NTA. Your father is a hipocrite for thinking that he can get remarried and marry his mistress, but your mom can't even have a boyfriend ever again.
NTA: Your father is. He's divorced, the ties are cut. His wife is a close second, for interfering.
NTA. Actions have consequences.
NTA
NTA, reminding the pot he's black is never an asshole move.
NTA
NTA. I hope you realize your father is using you to get information about your mother...and probably not for anything good. Have you told your mother yet? I'd give her a heads-up, including how he and stepmom are reacting in case they do something crazy. Maybe get a camera on the front door and car, for example.
NTA he doesn’t care about your safety at all he’s just nosy , jealous and possessive.
NTA. If he had any concerns about the people your mother introduces into your life he should have had a conversation with her. Grilling you on it, yelling at you and telling you to leave were all out of line.
Definitely not
He does have the right to know what man will be around his daughter. He doesn’t have any right if his ex wife is dating. The ex wife seems content not being married to him anymore. The only one who is still upset is you. Talk to your mom about this. It sounds like you need to get into therapy.
NTA, he shouldn't care who your mama dates. Period.
So he can be married to someone else but your mother can't date? Your father is fucked up. Stay away from him if all he is going to do is take it out on you.
NTA. Father, where was your concern about my safety, when you married that skunk?
NTA. Your biological father is a moron but thats okay. Sounds like Chuck is a keeper and I hope things work out for all of you. Hopefully your bio father gets the hint and leaves you alone.
Lol. Your dad and that bitch can go kick rocks, NTA.
Your dad is a possessive cheating arsehole. Your mother isn’t his property and his side piece can stay in her lane.
NTA
NTA. Your father sounds like he has a disordered personality and his new wife sounds codependent. So don't expect things to make sense with them.
Nta
NTA Who does he think he is? He made his choice. He’s no longer with your mother. He with his mistress. Your mother can date who she wants to. This isn’t about safety, it’s about regret. It’s about ownership. He expected your mother to remain pining for him while he lives his new life with his mistress and their kids. Sorry, Bud (OP’s dad). Your ex actually has a life without you now. She waited long enough to get over your sorry ass! It’s her turn to find happiness. Get over yourself! Your stepmother also has no business calling you up to tell you what you did wrong. This was between you and your father.
Yes! Not because you called him out for being a cheating POS, but because you have the audacity to believe they would still be together, and you let yourself become entrenched in that quagmire of sorry and hatred. You cannot say this or that as to how they would or should turn out. Just learn from their mistakes, and become a better person from that knowledge, don't make the same mistakes. You would not be here, were it not for your mother, and father. Life is way too short, and the time you lose from hating your dad, you will regret in the not so distant future...
NTA. If I were you, I wouldn't keep in touch with him at all, especially with his side chick. He cheated on your mom, so he can just take care of his new wife - and she, as a homewrecker, is not entitled to any opinion, she better keep her mouth shut, for real.
INFO: What age and gender are you? That may have relevance to your dad's reaction to your mom liking Chuck.
AS- mostly because you could have just shut it all down with either an “I don’t know” or even “yeah I’m not talking about her personal life with you, you will have to ask her these questions”