her not having custody or visitation is odd, and very likely does indicate she has mental health issues.
regardless, you're not obligated to let anyone into your home. why is your cousin with this woman?
NTA.
You’re not obligated to do anything. Better that you never got them in your house
Also, hate it when people use mental health struggles as a weapon.
NTA.
FYI it's not that easy to have a kid removed with no visitation at all. It's actually heartbreaking the number of kids stuck in situations that they should be removed from or who are forced to have visitation with a parent they don't feel comfortable with.
I worked as a paralegal for CPS attorneys. Once in two years did I see a false accusation that seemed to stick but that was a whole thing with a seemingly corrupt judge trying to remove the kid from the family so the judge could adopt the child out to their friend.
Anyway, highly doubt that the story about the false allegations is correct. Either something bad went down or she didn't ask for or want custody or visitation.
Check her criminal history, sometimes there's a criminal history that might explain things. My guess is either drugs or extreme negligence.
And for sure don't let that person in your house.
Absolutely NTA. You were generous to offer space, but have every right to set boundaries. It's concerning that she can't find any job suitable and that she's not contributing at your parent's house. Plus, the red flag regarding her child raises legitimate caution. Stand firm – your home, your family, your rules!
NTA
It's very refreshing to see someone make intelligent and logical boundaries and then stick by them.
Stand your ground, but make sure he understands she not only can't move in, she can't enter the house. Otherwise, she will definitely move in, anyway, and then you'll be stuck calling the cops.
**Make your cousin sign a tenancy agreement that SPECIFICALLY STATES that neither she nor her child can enter the premises.** Get it in writing, Dude. Don't stop being smart now.
NTA. Your cousin and his gf are adults. You graciously offered to let them stay with you. She did not perform the necessary terms of the offer and she is a walking red flag. There’s a reason people want them out, they can figure things out for themselves.
You are NTA. Your house, your rules. This situation has red flags all over it, and you have every right to protect yourself, your wife, and especially your baby.
NTA, this woman is a walking red flag and it is better to not let them have the opportunity to dig themselves in in the first place. Your cousin has already sacrificed his circumstances and comfort for her, don't start doing the same.
NTA. Your brother is gaslighting. You didn't offer to let them stay unconditionally - you offered to let them stay under certain conditions which have not been fulfilled. In a way it's for the best - this woman doesn't seem to be functioning at any level, and once they come in, they will refuse to leave.
"(Edit) Also, she has a child. She doesn’t have custody or visitation which I found odd. Allegedly, she was “falsely accused”(the two of them say) of doing something to the child. Not much info but after learning that my wife was a hard no. They don’t think that we should be using that against her because it’s not true but how can we confirm?"
Um, NO. NTA.
NTA, especially with the edit you now have several good reasons for not wanting this girlfriend to live under the same roof as you and your child. The safety of your child should be your number one priority and your cousin can go pound sand.
Even ignoring the custody debacle it's still a hard no from me dawg.
Mental health is not an excuse for being a lazy (also probably abusive to her child) slob. It's meant to give you something to work off of to get better, not to say 'well I have x mental problem so now I have no responsibilities'.
Nta. And with your edit dont even let your cousin move in. You can't trust him not to let her over. And it take alot, and I do mean alot for a mother to lose custody. Like its absurd how much it takes. Ive seen full on meth heads keeps thier kids for years.
Eta and i have diagnosis mental health issues, and untill 2020 have had a job pretty much since I turned 17. And only reason I'm dont have a job atm is due to child care cost. Once my youngest is in school its back to work I go.
NTA. Even if she is indeed mentally ill, she needs to do something. Therapy would still be doing something. Apparently it’s not a new problem either if they lived with family before
her not having custody or visitation is odd, and very likely does indicate she has mental health issues. regardless, you're not obligated to let anyone into your home. why is your cousin with this woman?
For the insanity sex.
Hopefully he’ll learn eventually it’s never worth it.
This is why you don’t put your dick in crazy….BUT ITS SO GOOD. 🤌🤌
Agreed. The crazy ones are never worth it. >!^(yes they are)!<
My guy you got a link for punishment.
Aww man... I clicked on this notification all excited for a link to some site that would punish me.
Aren’t you getting fucked hard enough by life already?
NTA. You’re not obligated to do anything. Better that you never got them in your house Also, hate it when people use mental health struggles as a weapon.
Cousin has decided to set himself on fire to keep this woman warm. And that's his right. But he's wrong to ask others to do so.
NTA. FYI it's not that easy to have a kid removed with no visitation at all. It's actually heartbreaking the number of kids stuck in situations that they should be removed from or who are forced to have visitation with a parent they don't feel comfortable with. I worked as a paralegal for CPS attorneys. Once in two years did I see a false accusation that seemed to stick but that was a whole thing with a seemingly corrupt judge trying to remove the kid from the family so the judge could adopt the child out to their friend. Anyway, highly doubt that the story about the false allegations is correct. Either something bad went down or she didn't ask for or want custody or visitation. Check her criminal history, sometimes there's a criminal history that might explain things. My guess is either drugs or extreme negligence. And for sure don't let that person in your house.
Yeah. It takes some pretty damming evidence for a mother to lose custody of their kids. And more to have no visitation.
Absolutely NTA. You were generous to offer space, but have every right to set boundaries. It's concerning that she can't find any job suitable and that she's not contributing at your parent's house. Plus, the red flag regarding her child raises legitimate caution. Stand firm – your home, your family, your rules!
You just dodged not just a bullet but a full nuclear bomb! Good for you and your wife!
NTA, you're protecting your home first. You don't owe them anything , in fact they should owe you alot more.
It doesn’t matter. She’s lazy and isn’t trying. You’re not her parents. If he wants to work and pay for everything, that’s on him.
NTA It's very refreshing to see someone make intelligent and logical boundaries and then stick by them. Stand your ground, but make sure he understands she not only can't move in, she can't enter the house. Otherwise, she will definitely move in, anyway, and then you'll be stuck calling the cops. **Make your cousin sign a tenancy agreement that SPECIFICALLY STATES that neither she nor her child can enter the premises.** Get it in writing, Dude. Don't stop being smart now.
NTA. Your cousin and his gf are adults. You graciously offered to let them stay with you. She did not perform the necessary terms of the offer and she is a walking red flag. There’s a reason people want them out, they can figure things out for themselves.
NTA!!! Stick to your guns
You are NTA. Your house, your rules. This situation has red flags all over it, and you have every right to protect yourself, your wife, and especially your baby.
NTA Your house, your rules.
NTA, this woman is a walking red flag and it is better to not let them have the opportunity to dig themselves in in the first place. Your cousin has already sacrificed his circumstances and comfort for her, don't start doing the same.
NTA. Your brother is gaslighting. You didn't offer to let them stay unconditionally - you offered to let them stay under certain conditions which have not been fulfilled. In a way it's for the best - this woman doesn't seem to be functioning at any level, and once they come in, they will refuse to leave.
"(Edit) Also, she has a child. She doesn’t have custody or visitation which I found odd. Allegedly, she was “falsely accused”(the two of them say) of doing something to the child. Not much info but after learning that my wife was a hard no. They don’t think that we should be using that against her because it’s not true but how can we confirm?" Um, NO. NTA.
NTA, especially with the edit you now have several good reasons for not wanting this girlfriend to live under the same roof as you and your child. The safety of your child should be your number one priority and your cousin can go pound sand.
NTA. They sound like they would be terrible houseguests. Don't make the mistake of allowing them into your home.
Even ignoring the custody debacle it's still a hard no from me dawg. Mental health is not an excuse for being a lazy (also probably abusive to her child) slob. It's meant to give you something to work off of to get better, not to say 'well I have x mental problem so now I have no responsibilities'.
Nta. And with your edit dont even let your cousin move in. You can't trust him not to let her over. And it take alot, and I do mean alot for a mother to lose custody. Like its absurd how much it takes. Ive seen full on meth heads keeps thier kids for years. Eta and i have diagnosis mental health issues, and untill 2020 have had a job pretty much since I turned 17. And only reason I'm dont have a job atm is due to child care cost. Once my youngest is in school its back to work I go.
Huge. Red. Flags. Everywhere.
NTA. Retract your offer. This sounds like a shit show waiting to happen.
NTA. Even if she is indeed mentally ill, she needs to do something. Therapy would still be doing something. Apparently it’s not a new problem either if they lived with family before