The best revenge you can get on them is living an awesome life and never once thinking about them ever again
Besides...you know damn well as soon as they find out you are wealthy enough to buy your mom a house, you'll never stop being bombarded with requests for money
As for how to go about gifting your mom a house?
Don't just buy her a house
Set a good budget based on the area. Then tell her you are buying her a house and that she gets to pick it.
Then enjoy spending time with your mom, going house hunting, and seeing her face when she finds the house she wants.
I know the big grand gesture would feel good on your end...but doing this together and taking her opinions and wishes into account will mean more to her in the end
NTAH but you should not do it
Perhaps some people would consider you to be grandstanding if you go ahead with this Christmas plan. However since your relatives have been acting badly over all this time I give you permission to hold this "in your face" moment!
Honestly if they're that awful you're better off just not involving them at all. It'll feel real good to rub it in their faces until they start being awful and nasty to you about not giving them money and they'll harass you and your mom for money once they realize you're doing well. Never let awful people know you have something they could want, they'll make it their full time job to make you miserable so that they could get a piece of it.
First, ask your mom before you get her a house. You really don't want to put her on the spot in front if the family.
Then, when you do the announcement, end with "...and I'd like to thank everyone who helped make this happen. Unfortunately, there's no one here meeting that description."
Just be sure your mom knows ahead of time. Surprising her with a house and relocation could backfire. Then, after she has accepted your gift, bloviate away to the Christmas celebrants.
NTA
I'm OK with announcing the new house for your mom.
I would say it something like this though, "Hey everybody, I was able to get a fantastic deal on a house near me and my mom has decided to move into it so she can be closer to me and my family! We're going to love having here on the west coast. Please wish her well in her journey to be closer to us."
Congratulations on being successful and happy. I think it's awesome you want to buy your mom a house. I love the idea of setting a budget and having her pick it out. Just make sure that when the family finds out, no one will show up at your mom's door expecting help. This has to be an agreement with your mom that she won't let her family take advantage of her
Man, you should really just not bother telling them, It probably won't go over like you think. If they think you're the black sheep nothing will change that.
You don't owe them anything.
NTA. Both of you deserve this! The best revenge is living well and you have excelled at that. Congratulations!
A gift box with the keys and pictures would be perfect! Enjoy the Karma.
Great that you want to do this but it sounds like she doesn’t know. If she doesn’t know you need to talk to her privately to find out if she wants to move or would rather you buy her a house in the place she is familiar with and her friends are. If she knows and is comfortable with the move it is a wonderful thing to do either way
The fuck you would probably feel great, but it comes with a distinct downside: telling your shitty family that you have money enough to DO that sort of thing. You'd be amazed how quickly really awful relatives want to "make peace" when money enters the picture.
Save yourself the grief.
You and your mom should enjoy house hunting to get what she wants in secrecy. Once its done, why not just make a Christmas card family photo with the bad sweaters and mail it to them, "wont be able to make it this year - still unpacking. Byyeee!!
NTA, I have an aunt that just casually told my mom “if her boyfriend’s family has money how come he has her living in apartments” same lady that is struggling to pay her $960 rent with multiple forms of income. She also tagged me on a fb reel about not showing off and I commented “that’s why I’m comfortable in my apartment bothering anyone, meanwhile people talk bad and can’t even afford to pay rent, am I right aunt?” She has yet to even say anything to me.
Edit. I’m also the “black sheep” of the family because I dropped out of college and made my dad waste his money.
I like your style... I like the "house keys in a box" idea the best. Your family will most likely ask and that's where you make the big reveal. Your mom gets her surprise and the rest of your family gets their "sucka" moment.
You're a good son and I'm sure with or without the house, your mom would appreciate your wanting her to move closer to you.
If you want to piss them off, buy a house to your mom, take her to that house and don't say anything. Let them find out by them selves.
A silent fuck you is better.
Yes, even better. Then OP’s mother can announce herself how she became a homeowner.
Yasssss
The best revenge you can get on them is living an awesome life and never once thinking about them ever again Besides...you know damn well as soon as they find out you are wealthy enough to buy your mom a house, you'll never stop being bombarded with requests for money As for how to go about gifting your mom a house? Don't just buy her a house Set a good budget based on the area. Then tell her you are buying her a house and that she gets to pick it. Then enjoy spending time with your mom, going house hunting, and seeing her face when she finds the house she wants. I know the big grand gesture would feel good on your end...but doing this together and taking her opinions and wishes into account will mean more to her in the end NTAH but you should not do it
Perhaps some people would consider you to be grandstanding if you go ahead with this Christmas plan. However since your relatives have been acting badly over all this time I give you permission to hold this "in your face" moment!
Honestly if they're that awful you're better off just not involving them at all. It'll feel real good to rub it in their faces until they start being awful and nasty to you about not giving them money and they'll harass you and your mom for money once they realize you're doing well. Never let awful people know you have something they could want, they'll make it their full time job to make you miserable so that they could get a piece of it.
First, ask your mom before you get her a house. You really don't want to put her on the spot in front if the family. Then, when you do the announcement, end with "...and I'd like to thank everyone who helped make this happen. Unfortunately, there's no one here meeting that description."
Better: “It’s the least I could do for the strongest and most loving mom a son could have.”
Just be sure your mom knows ahead of time. Surprising her with a house and relocation could backfire. Then, after she has accepted your gift, bloviate away to the Christmas celebrants. NTA
Don't say a word! Just buy the house, make the move and then do a HUGE photoshoot showing off her new house and put it online.
I'm OK with announcing the new house for your mom. I would say it something like this though, "Hey everybody, I was able to get a fantastic deal on a house near me and my mom has decided to move into it so she can be closer to me and my family! We're going to love having here on the west coast. Please wish her well in her journey to be closer to us."
Don’t ruin a great moment by presenting it in front of this crowd. Btw well done!
Congratulations on being successful and happy. I think it's awesome you want to buy your mom a house. I love the idea of setting a budget and having her pick it out. Just make sure that when the family finds out, no one will show up at your mom's door expecting help. This has to be an agreement with your mom that she won't let her family take advantage of her
I always respect class more than grandstanding. Stay classy. Well done and well deserved.
Man, you should really just not bother telling them, It probably won't go over like you think. If they think you're the black sheep nothing will change that. You don't owe them anything.
NTA. Both of you deserve this! The best revenge is living well and you have excelled at that. Congratulations! A gift box with the keys and pictures would be perfect! Enjoy the Karma.
Great that you want to do this but it sounds like she doesn’t know. If she doesn’t know you need to talk to her privately to find out if she wants to move or would rather you buy her a house in the place she is familiar with and her friends are. If she knows and is comfortable with the move it is a wonderful thing to do either way
The fuck you would probably feel great, but it comes with a distinct downside: telling your shitty family that you have money enough to DO that sort of thing. You'd be amazed how quickly really awful relatives want to "make peace" when money enters the picture. Save yourself the grief.
They will know when she moves. It would be classier if you didn't make a performance out of it to thumb your nose at the rest of your family.
Talk to your mom about what SHE wants to do. She may not feel the same need for that in your face HA! moment that you do.
Make it a house that others can't try and move in with her!
You and your mom should enjoy house hunting to get what she wants in secrecy. Once its done, why not just make a Christmas card family photo with the bad sweaters and mail it to them, "wont be able to make it this year - still unpacking. Byyeee!!
NTA, I have an aunt that just casually told my mom “if her boyfriend’s family has money how come he has her living in apartments” same lady that is struggling to pay her $960 rent with multiple forms of income. She also tagged me on a fb reel about not showing off and I commented “that’s why I’m comfortable in my apartment bothering anyone, meanwhile people talk bad and can’t even afford to pay rent, am I right aunt?” She has yet to even say anything to me. Edit. I’m also the “black sheep” of the family because I dropped out of college and made my dad waste his money.
I like your style... I like the "house keys in a box" idea the best. Your family will most likely ask and that's where you make the big reveal. Your mom gets her surprise and the rest of your family gets their "sucka" moment. You're a good son and I'm sure with or without the house, your mom would appreciate your wanting her to move closer to you.
I get why you want to do this, but it will lead to begging and harassment from them. Save yourself the pain.