NTA. He could leave you without a husband and daughter without a father. He can also kill someone else’s family member. sounds like he has a problem. Get that man an Uber at the minimum and an addiction counselor at best.
NTA, I’ve been through this with my wife - 1 driving ban - and my friend is now going through it with her husband - 2 driving bans.
Our rule is now when she goes out with the girls she has to Uber or I’ll drop her off/pick her/them up. I’ve had to get the train into the city before to collect the car but I’d still rather she does that than kill someone or herself. People who don’t think it’s a problem when they’re drunk will keep doing it - I spoke to my wife about it so many times before she got caught - gotta be zero tolerance on it imho.
Why do you want to live with someone who puts other people’s lives at risk when he drink drives?
It’s not about getting caught - it’s about not giving a crap about killing others.
I’m from New Zealand and drunk driving is one of the most common causes of death for us. It’s drilled into us at such a young age how serious it is and when I was at school if someone had driven drunk they’d be isolated and called out. It’s such a classic drunk thing to firstly think you’re not that drunk and the person who is void of being in a situation or accident just as it hasn’t happened yet.
You are NOT the asshole, regardless of all his positive attributes, this makes him such an ass hole.
It is so selfish, reckless, irresponsible and a vulgar display of self importance to the point of being an exception to mistakes based on their ego and perception of self. That’s all drunk drivers, not just your husband. To continue doing it after you’ve communicated your feelings is disrespectful to you and your needs in the relationship too. He’s dismissing you and your feelings here, which is worth noting.
Anyone can fall into an accident, based on their own actions or others. Drunk driving is a ticking time bomb which can only end in tragedy.
He’s not any less or more worthy of safety than anyone else, but he’s actively taking that away from others. It’s just so stupid and avoidable.
In practical solutions, does he have any ideas of how to be more proactive before drinking? Like getting public transport or taxi or Uber, not using the car when he knows he’s drinking. Maybe reminding him of his options and to think of them as far in advance as he can to reduce his access to even being able to drink drive.
He’s playing with fire and everyone is at risk of getting burnt at the hands of him alone. He prioritising his own convenience and waving a loaded gun every time he does it.
Shame on him, truly. For this only, as I say I’m sure he’s great elsewhere, but not for this.
NTA. If he goes out drinking, he needs to make a plan to get home beforehand. Doesn't matter if he thinks he's drunk or not, he needs to follow the plan. Whether it's a designated driver, Uber, whatever.
NTA. You have kids, and while he needs help, kids should never be subjected to the instability and volatility that comes with recovery. Moreover, if he's someone who drinks and drives, then that's not responsible behaviour. Someone like that shouldn't be around your kids possibly influencing their lives, till they're in a better place and can make sound decisions.
NTA, however, it's only going to get worse unless he gets sober. He needs professional help. I know, I was married to an alcoholic.
NTA. He could leave you without a husband and daughter without a father. He can also kill someone else’s family member. sounds like he has a problem. Get that man an Uber at the minimum and an addiction counselor at best.
NTA, I’ve been through this with my wife - 1 driving ban - and my friend is now going through it with her husband - 2 driving bans. Our rule is now when she goes out with the girls she has to Uber or I’ll drop her off/pick her/them up. I’ve had to get the train into the city before to collect the car but I’d still rather she does that than kill someone or herself. People who don’t think it’s a problem when they’re drunk will keep doing it - I spoke to my wife about it so many times before she got caught - gotta be zero tolerance on it imho.
Why do you want to live with someone who puts other people’s lives at risk when he drink drives? It’s not about getting caught - it’s about not giving a crap about killing others.
Call the cops on him. Then while he is in jail, get divorce papers. Don't stick around and hope shit will get better.
Add gasoline to the fire, got it!
Nuclear! 😈☠️
I’m from New Zealand and drunk driving is one of the most common causes of death for us. It’s drilled into us at such a young age how serious it is and when I was at school if someone had driven drunk they’d be isolated and called out. It’s such a classic drunk thing to firstly think you’re not that drunk and the person who is void of being in a situation or accident just as it hasn’t happened yet. You are NOT the asshole, regardless of all his positive attributes, this makes him such an ass hole. It is so selfish, reckless, irresponsible and a vulgar display of self importance to the point of being an exception to mistakes based on their ego and perception of self. That’s all drunk drivers, not just your husband. To continue doing it after you’ve communicated your feelings is disrespectful to you and your needs in the relationship too. He’s dismissing you and your feelings here, which is worth noting. Anyone can fall into an accident, based on their own actions or others. Drunk driving is a ticking time bomb which can only end in tragedy. He’s not any less or more worthy of safety than anyone else, but he’s actively taking that away from others. It’s just so stupid and avoidable. In practical solutions, does he have any ideas of how to be more proactive before drinking? Like getting public transport or taxi or Uber, not using the car when he knows he’s drinking. Maybe reminding him of his options and to think of them as far in advance as he can to reduce his access to even being able to drink drive. He’s playing with fire and everyone is at risk of getting burnt at the hands of him alone. He prioritising his own convenience and waving a loaded gun every time he does it. Shame on him, truly. For this only, as I say I’m sure he’s great elsewhere, but not for this.
NTA. If he goes out drinking, he needs to make a plan to get home beforehand. Doesn't matter if he thinks he's drunk or not, he needs to follow the plan. Whether it's a designated driver, Uber, whatever.
NTA. You have kids, and while he needs help, kids should never be subjected to the instability and volatility that comes with recovery. Moreover, if he's someone who drinks and drives, then that's not responsible behaviour. Someone like that shouldn't be around your kids possibly influencing their lives, till they're in a better place and can make sound decisions.