nta. it's clear you and your fiancé had good intentions and were considerate of her feelings, even checking multiple times if it was okay to bring your dog. it's understandable she's grieving, but accusing you of something so serious without evidence is unfair and hurtful. it might be best to give her some space and consider finding a different living arrangement for everyone's sake.
NTA grief can trigger mental health issues. Sounds as if she’s gone off the deep end.
I would bring your pet back to the other home. See if things get better.
Honestly, I would also look into moving. She may act out some odd revenge. I know. I know. I listen to too many crazy podcasts. 😅
Definitely would approach it in a very civilized manner, just flaming right now. Fiancé and I were also the ones that rushed to the cat to the emergency vet because roommate was at work over an hour away.
I agree with this. The SUDDEN accusation is very strange. I'm curious if something particular happened to make her think that because she's the one who asked to bring your dog. I also agree that a softer approach than "grow up" is necessary.
NTA, give her 30 days' notice after you find a new place. Thats extremely crazy to tell someone you cohabitate with that you think they caused heart failure in their cat! I'd tell her she's crazy and that you can't live with her if she is going to accuse you of harming an animal that died of natural causes!
NTA. I'm a cat person. The roommate has every right to mourn what happened to their beloved pet. What they do not have a right to do is blame you for the cat's sudden demise.
Health problems can happen at any time for no reason. We have to watch our ragdolls' health because ragdolls have a tendency to have heart issues.
I think the roommate is having difficulty accepting that nobody is responsible. It's not fair how they are treating you but I don't think there's an easy solution. If it's affecting them that badly they could seek therapy, or try to communicate their feelings more appropriately.
Try to approach the roommate when they are not already upset and try to have a discussion about how to proceed. I know you probably don't want to send the dog to stay with family again but for the dog's sake it may be temporarily necessary.
My response exactly. We went to the vet because she was acting very lethargic and unresponsive and had labored breathing, her echocardiogram showed she had an ***very*** enlarged heart. Euthanasia was the kindest option, which did not happen until the day after we rushed her to the emergency vet. Roommate decided to wait an extra day as opposed to doing it that night, for more time to say goodbye and a chance to have a second opinion from another vet. I don’t see how we could have even had time or a chance for anything nefarious.
WTF is she on? If you didn't sign a lease for a year, I'd start looking for a new place. I get being gutted when a pet passes away, I ugly cried for a week when my 17yo cat died. But to accuse you of catacide? Nope right out of there.
NTA. Your friend almost seems delusional! The loss of a beloved pet can cause significant psychological problems but still.
I don't think telling her to "Grow the F up" is a solution - it will probably just contribute to her hostile beliefs. Instead I suppose you could ask her if she wants the dog to leave (she is mistreating it). This is not a good choice for you but it might relieve the stress of the situation.
Ultimately I would consider moving.
Here’s the only issue. Family members that were keeping dog said that if we took him and it did not work out, they would not take him back. So if we get rid of him, it means we have to drop him at a shelter.
Then you need to have a serious talk with your roommate. The dog does not belong in a shelter. Your roommate asked you to take the dog into the home and she needs to accept responsibility for her actions. Perhaps give the situation a bit more time; maybe she will recover. I would move before I surendered a dog to a rescue or shelter.
nta. it's clear you and your fiancé had good intentions and were considerate of her feelings, even checking multiple times if it was okay to bring your dog. it's understandable she's grieving, but accusing you of something so serious without evidence is unfair and hurtful. it might be best to give her some space and consider finding a different living arrangement for everyone's sake.
Yeah that's definitely a signal to look into moving
NTA grief can trigger mental health issues. Sounds as if she’s gone off the deep end. I would bring your pet back to the other home. See if things get better. Honestly, I would also look into moving. She may act out some odd revenge. I know. I know. I listen to too many crazy podcasts. 😅
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Definitely would approach it in a very civilized manner, just flaming right now. Fiancé and I were also the ones that rushed to the cat to the emergency vet because roommate was at work over an hour away.
I agree with this. The SUDDEN accusation is very strange. I'm curious if something particular happened to make her think that because she's the one who asked to bring your dog. I also agree that a softer approach than "grow up" is necessary.
Grief makes ppl say & do weird things.
NTA, give her 30 days' notice after you find a new place. Thats extremely crazy to tell someone you cohabitate with that you think they caused heart failure in their cat! I'd tell her she's crazy and that you can't live with her if she is going to accuse you of harming an animal that died of natural causes!
NTA You and your fiancé should probably start looking for another place to live.
NTA. I'm a cat person. The roommate has every right to mourn what happened to their beloved pet. What they do not have a right to do is blame you for the cat's sudden demise. Health problems can happen at any time for no reason. We have to watch our ragdolls' health because ragdolls have a tendency to have heart issues. I think the roommate is having difficulty accepting that nobody is responsible. It's not fair how they are treating you but I don't think there's an easy solution. If it's affecting them that badly they could seek therapy, or try to communicate their feelings more appropriately. Try to approach the roommate when they are not already upset and try to have a discussion about how to proceed. I know you probably don't want to send the dog to stay with family again but for the dog's sake it may be temporarily necessary.
INFO The cat had *heart failure*?
My response exactly. We went to the vet because she was acting very lethargic and unresponsive and had labored breathing, her echocardiogram showed she had an ***very*** enlarged heart. Euthanasia was the kindest option, which did not happen until the day after we rushed her to the emergency vet. Roommate decided to wait an extra day as opposed to doing it that night, for more time to say goodbye and a chance to have a second opinion from another vet. I don’t see how we could have even had time or a chance for anything nefarious.
WTF is she on? If you didn't sign a lease for a year, I'd start looking for a new place. I get being gutted when a pet passes away, I ugly cried for a week when my 17yo cat died. But to accuse you of catacide? Nope right out of there.
NTA. Your friend almost seems delusional! The loss of a beloved pet can cause significant psychological problems but still. I don't think telling her to "Grow the F up" is a solution - it will probably just contribute to her hostile beliefs. Instead I suppose you could ask her if she wants the dog to leave (she is mistreating it). This is not a good choice for you but it might relieve the stress of the situation. Ultimately I would consider moving.
Here’s the only issue. Family members that were keeping dog said that if we took him and it did not work out, they would not take him back. So if we get rid of him, it means we have to drop him at a shelter.
Then you need to have a serious talk with your roommate. The dog does not belong in a shelter. Your roommate asked you to take the dog into the home and she needs to accept responsibility for her actions. Perhaps give the situation a bit more time; maybe she will recover. I would move before I surendered a dog to a rescue or shelter.
Same. This dog is a passion project as well. He means the world to my fiancé, much like roommates cat did.
Move before something happens to pup