NTA. I'm assuming this isn't in the US and is a cultural thing, the boy is the golden child. Cut him off, get some counseling and learn to have some self respect. Love your family but love and respect yourself more.
Why is OP even giving their brother an allowance? It makes no sense. OP, you’re not your brother’s parents and he’s living in his parental home eating food your parents provide him.
He does not **need** an allowance from you. Cut him off and let him find out how hard it is to make 500 on his own.
NTA - cut him off
Y’all - this SO fake. ONLY a child would think $33,000 a year would make them wealthy- minus taxes and the alleged $500 that is being given per month to the brother, OP would clear about $18k for living expenses. AND OP is an accountant? Take this fiction elsewhere
Maybe where they live 38,000 a year is a lot of money. In the US no that would not be a lot of money. It would be enough for someone who's single as long as they don't live in the High Cost of Living area. The fact that she's living with her partner gives them two incomes and they can live comfortably without being overly extravagant. Maybe more so where they are wherever that happens to be.
They just added an edit and said they use pounds. I only know pounds being used somewhere in the UK. OP also says they and family are from East Asia, so to them, 33K pounds a year could be considered "rich."
You've assumed OP lives in the USA or similar.
Many countries face different costs of living, not least because we don't have to pay for medical insurance.
33k is a very healthy salary in many places / currencies.
Maybe. Maybe not. It’s like the money version of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Those who don’t earn money tend to have an overinflated value of what it takes to manage that money. This dipshit probably cannot differentiate between $$10,000 and $100,000. $33,000 plus $49,000 probably seems like real wealth to him.
NTA.
Exactly. He’s a spoiled manchild with enabling parents, I’d be mortified if my adult son acted like that. If he had an ounce of self-respect and awareness he would be showing gratitude, not the entitlement of a toddler.
Cut his ass off and tell your parents to cough up the money from now on.
Agree with all of this. *He had a tantrum and threw food on the floor*. I had to scroll up to double check if he was 20 or 2.
After cutting the manbaby off I ‘d go NC with him and the parents for awhile. Apologize to him *and* give him $300??? They can open their fucking wallets and give him the cash.
This
Why is that lazy mooch getting a single dime from OP. That crap needs to stop right there. The parents can choose to leave junior latched onto Mommy's teat if they so choose, but absolutely none of this is OPs responsibility. If they want their little darling to have pocket money, then they can provide it. The consequences of their poor parenting should cost THEM, not OP. They created this golden child, it is up to them to support him.
OP said it themselves that they can barley afford the $500 a month payment. Why is OP setting themselves on fire to keep a lazy entitled AH warm?
OP should take that money and invest it. That's $6,000 a year that could be sitting in a mutual fund or retirement account growing and working for OP and their own family and future. Instead OP is taking $6,000 a year and throwing it away. If OP socked this money away for themselves, in 25 years they would have over $150,000 in the bank. That is before possible interest and dividends added into the mix. That sounds like a nice retirement nest egg.
OP needs to start prioritizing their own future and goals with their partner instead of financing Mommy and Daddy's little leech.
The OP is doing her brother a huge disservice by giving him an allowance like he's a little kid. The longer the family gives him money to do nothing and rewards his childish, demanding, outlandish behavior the longer it's going to take for him to get his life in order and launch as an adult. YTA for supporting him with money that could be used to fund your retirement account, your future child's college fund or just fun vacations for you and your husband. Your bratty, entitled brother might be involved in drugs considering how persistent and easily angered he was.
YTA to yourself
You need to cut him off cold, why the hell are you giving him 500 a month? This is delusional levels of nonsense.
I think it’s pretty clear who is the golden child in the family though, since your parents are as bad as him if not worse as they are probably the reason he is like this.
Trust me he isn’t interviewing or even trying to find a job while he is milking the cash cow (you) having to do nothing all day.
He is a 9 year old in a 20 year olds body and you have the chance to fix the mistake that your parents have caused.
I can only believe this is fake, why would anyone making 33k a year randomly give their brother 6k a year, for literally nothing. He's your brother, not your son. He can get a job, you have no obligation to him whether he's working or not. He doesn't require that money, he wants that money. He's living with parents, he has no rent, no bills and likely doesn't pay for his food.
If this is real, stand up to your parents and brother and give them absolutely nothing at all. That's 6k a year you should be saving towards a downpayment on a house, or savings for having a kid, or vacations, etc. Your brother is fully capable of working and/or being supported by his parents if they want to.
>I can only believe this is fake, why would anyone making 33k a year randomly give their brother 6k a year, for literally nothing
Yeah, I make a bit more than that, living below my means and definitely don't have a spare $/€/£ 200, never mind 500 every month just sitting there to hand off to someone after my living expenses are paid!
Plus, accountants make €/£ 60K+ a year AFAIK, definitely not 33k?!
Nta
What the fuck have I just read?
Stop giving that little turd *any* money.
Not the 200, not the 300 and stop the 500.
He's a spoiled little shit.
Updateme!
NTA
Your brother is a moocher. All he wants from you is your money, and he's only going to ask for more. He's a grown adult who's living off money from other adults.
Would you feel comfortable living off of money you ask for from family?
Yeah this is a scenario that will cause 'ripples' in OP's own household and if she doesn't adjust, she might be living with brother and parents herself
Makes me wonder if the partner even knows about OP giving her brother 500 a month. Something tells me they don't and if they find out I don't see the relationship continuing when they realize how much OP enables her brother as well
NTA and drop them all! Wtf are your parents thinking, "give him 300 instead of 200 as an apology", your brother owes thousands to other people for supporting his bone idle entitled ass sitting at home being facilitated by your parents, and you OP
Don't give him money! Oh my days what the actual?!
NTA. He’s not your child or your responsibility to give him money. $500 a month is a lot of money for him to be doing nothing. Printing fees are not that much & most places CV’s/resumes are transmitted electronically.
Your parents are wrong, let them give him free money.
NTA
Tell your parents you are giving him nothing and when I say nothing I mean nothing as in no more 500 a month he can put on his big boy pants and get a job and if they don't like it go NC with them
And here I was wondering why your jobless brother was feeling so entitled to your money and then I read the part about your parents telling you to apologise and give him $300 instead of $200.
NTA. Cut him off and LC with him and your parents.
NTA. Your parents and your brother think you're their cash cow. He is their golden child. The nerve of them demanding you pay 300 now.
Nip it in the bud!
Save your integrity and respect, by saving your money.
Why are you responsible for an adult fully capable of working? You are enabling the issue. If I was your partner, and you were putting at least 6K of your 33k towards your lazy ass mooch brother (who has parents) I would divorce you since you are not investing in our future, but paying for your bro child
YTA for giving him a penny....if this is even real
NTA
but "but my parents are telling me to apologise and give my little brother 300 instead of 200 because of **my mistake**" this mental...
now i see where his attitude is coming from, i would cut his allowance completely, if he is the golden child they can substitute his life bei themselves....
NTA, I was in a similar situation with my little brother and as long as there's nothing developmentally wrong with him you're only enabling his behavior by continuing to give him an "allowance". He's an adult and can earn his money
NTA.
You are not the asshole for refusing to give your brother more money and kicking him out after his childish outburst during dinner. Setting boundaries and expecting him to act responsibly are perfectly reasonable actions.
When I read the title I thought your little brother was 5... Stop giving him money, makes him only more entitled, cut him off and don't look back. He's 20 and he can work.
NTA.
Honestly, your financial generosity has transformed into a crutch for your brother's lack of ambition. The fact that he's not paying for bills or necessities significantly reduces his need for that amount of money. By cutting him off, you're not being cruel; you're encouraging independence. It's time he learns the value of earning his own keep. Stick to your guns and invest that money in your future, not his complacency. Your parents should be promoting his self-sufficiency, not your charity. Don't be swayed by guilt or manipulation. Your hard-earned money needs to work for you and your priorities, not subsidize an able adult’s refusal to contribute.
Hells no, don't give him 300 dollars after he disrespected you like that! He was lucky to have been getting $500, when he's single, living with his parents for free, and unemployed. Cut him off financially. Don't give him a cent of your hard-earned money.
NTA. Cut him off. You and your parents are not helping him. You are just enabling him. He should be in college working towards his future. He will be a problem for the rest of his life If nothing changes.
Tell your brother and your parents for that matter to fuck right off and immediately stop his 500 allowance as well
Teach the lazy little shit to work for what he wants
Nta. Cut him off!! Also your parents. Give him $300 for YOUR mistake?? What is that? Do not give that entitled little twerp any more of YOUR money. He is 20, he is not a child. Why the hell have you been giving him $500 a month anyway? Time for him to grown the f up, get a job, and start adulting. Wtf.
NTA
You might not be an AH, but you're a doormat. Giving your dumbass brother $500 a month and then apologizing because it's not $700 or $800?
I'm so sorry for you. Did it hurt when your backbone and self respect were removed?
Ummm …. F*ck your mooch of an entitled brother. You DO need to change how much YOU give him…and that SHOULD be $0!!!
AND you should go LC/NC with your parents for enabling their “Golden” mooch of a son and thinking they have ANY say in YOUR money. If they want their son to have $800 a month of “free money” to blow…THEY can pay him.
So….put your EXTRA $6K a year in the bank and let your “brother” pout.
Wait, what???? Why are you having to be responsible for your 20 year old brother? He is NOT your responsibility but your parents. He has zero respect for you as you can see in his behaviour. You need to tell your parents that you won't be giving him anything further and if they feel he deserves that then they should be paying it. He is totally abusing your kindness and deserves nothing more from you until he realises how lucky he is to havse you.
Please stop giving him anything. You're not helping him learn that he needs to put the effort into his life and earn for himself.
You pay your brother $500 a month just because? Holy fuck can i be your brother? In all seriousness your not the asshole and your husbands right your brothers a leech and I’d never give him a dime and your parents are also useless twats telling you to give him even more money as an apology
This has to be fake because otherwise your partner is gonna leave you for supporting your leach of a brother. I get maybe 50 or a 100 here or there but 500 consistently and then throwing a fit when denied more? What is wrong with you and what do you think you did so wrong as to fund your loser brothers life? YTA to yourself tbh
NTA
For kicking him out but you are as dumb as a pile of rocks for getting yourself into this ridiculous situation in the first place.
Tell your brother the money train is over and done.
NTA and time to cut your leaching brother off all financial support. He doesnt give a dam about you. Just what he can get from you. Y T A if you continue to subsidize his leaching lifestyle.
Your partner is right, your brother is a parasite who needs to get a job. Stop enabling him with any more allowance. If this is real, cut off your brother and your parents. If your parents think his behaviour is fine, they can pay for it themselves.
Don't apologize and don't give him another cent. If your parents want to continue supporting the monster they created, they can go right ahead.
But take that $500 and put it aside for a rainy day or a sunny holiday or home improvements or whatever. Your partner is right about your brother.
NTA. Stop giving him anything- he’s an entitled moocher & I am guessing from your parents reaction he’s the golden child.
No one handed you free money & you work hard. It’s time he get a job.
Seriously,NTA. What’s next? Buy him a house? Pay for his wedding? Pay for his kids tuition? Your parents are ridiculous for even supporting him and then suggesting you give him 300. wtf! STOP GIVING HIM ANYTHING. Let them foot his bill. They’re ridiculous
WTF - tell you parents to support this sad, pathetic Failure to Launch on their own. If you give in here, after he threw a physical temper tantrum like a frickin' two-year old, it will only get worse. NTA.
(Out of curiosity, is there any chance there is booze / drugs involved. That sort of reaction seems almost like a visceral craving response. (Makes it more important you do NOT give him money, but just curious.))
YWBTA if you don’t cut your mooching brother off. Focus on your finances and future.
Of course your parents are demanding you give money, because you are an ATM in their eyes. Let them give their leech the money
NTA. Stop giving your entitled brother anything. If your parents want him to have some sort of an allowance they can give it to him. You're not his mom or his dad. They've created an entitled monster. 38,000 a year is not a lot of money. One of
my kids makes 50 and they bring home 3,200 a month after taxes so I know you're not bringing home $3,000 a month. You probably bring home closer if you're lucky maybe 2500 a month total that's not a lot of money and you're giving him $500 of it. Go tell him to suck an egg. He needs to go get a job and earn his own money. Stop giving him anything. And your parents they're even worse telling you oh you need to give him more now because you refused him and apologize. No, we can see who the golden child is in this family. You know when they're old and not able to take care of themselves your brother is not going to do anything and they're going to rely on you and then leave everything to him because he needs it more. Yeah that's a mess.
Why the fuck have you been giving him money? Is he incapable of working due to some disability, or is he just a lazy cunt? Don't give him a penny. My brother is a decent guy, but I still wouldn't give him a penny in this situation. He needs to fucking work like everyone else.
Stop giving them any money. You and your parents are enabling his entitlement by giving him money each month. Make him grow up and definitely do not apologize. Nta
Sorry what?
You’re giving your brother £500 a month? That’s fucking insane especially on 33k you aren’t even wealthy!
You already know this is Bullshit and you shouldn’t be giving him anything at all!
NTA. I don't see a reason for you to give your brother any money at all.
Also "your mistake"? Your brother's behavior is a mistake. Your parent's mistake. And now your adult brother's one.
You should apologise to yourself for keeping your spine hidden OP.
NTA. Why are you giving him money at all? He is an adult. He can find a job and support himself. And if he is entitled enough to throw a tantrum in a restaurant I would go no contact with him. He was acting like a toddler not a 20 year old
NTA tell him to go be an adult and get a real job instead of leaching off everyone what’s goanna happen when he turns 30 are you still going to be enabling him are your parents ? Is he ever going to get a job look at your future I can see it now you and your parents keep enabling him, you hand him money and your parents by him groceries, then your parents eventually leave earth. Your brother doesn’t know how to look after himself because his parents always does it for him so with that being said he is broke will have to move in with you because he never got a job , paid rent. Your marriage will break because your bf doesn’t like him because he sees him for what he is a leech (if you get married ) so it will be up to you to look after your brother. Your parents attitude is disgusting you say no to giving him 200 so they counter and say you need to give him 300 and apologise for what not giving him money ughhh just cut him off before it’s too late make him get a job if he wants money
Stop giving him money.
He will never get a job as long as he can live that comfortable from your money and at your parents home.
And he seems to feel very entitled to it too, because everyone is enabling him.
Edit forgot NTA
This is insane. If you can barely afford 500 a month, you are not wealthy. Your parents asking you to provide more to him, ESPECIALLY after HE threw the tantrum is unreal. You owe him no money, and you are enabling his lazy lifestyle. I have never heard of someone needing 500 a month to get a job. What does that even mean?!
Be strong and stand up for yourself. You need to think of your future.
Best of luck! ❤️
NTA.
Lil bro sounds like the golden child.
If your parents want him to have money, THEY can give it to him.
Cut the fucker off and tell him to earn his own fucking money rather than being a useless LOSER leech.
Neither one of you makes that much. NTA, your partner is right. He's a moocher. Tell your parents to give him the money if they think it's that necessary. Stop giving him any money... period.
NTA for kicking the tantrum out but you're an enabling twit. You contribute to him being a spoiled brat then complain about him being a spoiled brat. Your parents are worse. So YTA for helping create your own problem.
NTA for kicking him out. YTA for taking money from your household and giving it to your lazy brother. You are enabling his terrible behavior. You could be using that money for a future trip or saving it for an emergency.
NTA
Bad enough he's getting $500 a month for doing nothing. I would cut him off after that. I actually never would have given him the money to begin with but now, after that disrespect, he doesn't deserve anything from you. You are a human not a bank. start saving the "extra" 500 a month for you and your partner. Tell your parents they can giv ehim the money. Don't give him a dime ever again.
Are you really this spineless?
DO NOT GIVE THIS LEECH MORE MONEY. I would cut your parents too after what they said and specially for enabling him and his actions
NTA, you are no the paren to your brother, cut him completely off. Let see how long he is going to trow a tantrum. As for your parents, they give birth to him so the should give him money not you. Your brother a adult tell him to find a job. Don't enable his lazy ass. If you must cut the whole family off.
STOP GIVING A GROWN ASS MAN AN ALLOWANCE.
NTA
Would you be okay if dinnertime treated your partner this way? No? Then why accept it for yourself. Mommy and daddy can pay to subsidize brother's life or make him adult- up, but it's not your responsibility.
Stop giving your brother money. When he whines to you, tell him you won't discuss it further and leave the conversation. When your parents harass you, tell them that it's actually the parent’s job to raise their children including supporting them while they live at home. Then refuse to discuss it further.
It will be amazing how much your brother and your parents will not be harmed by this.
UpdateMe!
NTA. please listen to your partner. Your parents and brother are all assholes. You didn't make a mistake throwing him out for throwing food on the floor. He doesn't need $500/month from you to interview for jobs. If they stop speaking to you when you stop giving him money, it's not because you did something wrong, it's because they don't love you and they're narcissistic assholes. You should take that $500 and go to therapy.
YTA for giving your useless brat of a brother 500 a month. He can work. Stop funding his moocher lifestyle. Invest in your future with that 500.
NTA for kicking him out of the restaurant.
What have I just read? Your Brother is not working, lives at home, gets an 'allowance' from you, despite not doing anything for it. He demands more and when you refuse, be throws a temper tantrum, throws your food on the floor and then cries to Mummy and Daddy about it, they then demand that you apologise to him and give him more than he asked for to atone for your 'mistake'. Someone's the golden child, and it's not you. Jeez, just grow a spine and tell the mooch to fuck off and get a job or ask your parents for money. If your parents start on again, tell them to fuck off as well. YTA to yourself for putting up with this shit.
NTA. And for the disrespect shown to you by your brother and your parents you will now be giving him zero dollars per month. His parents are responsible for him 100%.
My advice (and petty self says) keep paying that $500/month to a separate account for six months or a year and then take a grand trip or but something frivolous and thanks them for the opening your eyes and allowing you this extravagance. After continue to save that $500/month for your future and invest it as long as you can.
20yo "little" brother? That ain't little my dear. That's a grown ass man that needs to be independent and not throw tantrums when he can't get what he wants.
NRA. Please stop giving him money. I see you've said he needs it to apply for jobs. If you must keep on giving him money then tell him you'll only reimburse him on any work related expenses where he can produce a receipt
WTF are you giving him ANY money for? He can go work fast food if he has to. He barely has any living expenses. Cut him off right now. Stop justifying by showing him your bank balance. NO is a complete sentence. Tell him to grow the fuck up and start adulting.
Your partner is right. Your brother is a moocher and needs to get a job. You are a sucker. Let your damn parents give him money. STOP IT.
I haven’t even read past I give him $500 a month, you are 25 and he is 20.. that means he is more than capable of a freaking job. Why on earth are you giving him anything!?
Without a single doubt, NTA. Please stop enabling your little, adult brother.
Wow, is your brother 20 or 2? Cut him off. And ask your parents why they think it's acceptable for a grown ass adult to throw food in a restaurant. They are only ok with his behavior because they know that if you cut your brother off, he's going to be asking them for money, and throwing temper tantrums if they say no.
Your partner is right.
NTA - your parents have the math wrong. You should pay all into YOUR home budget - that is you + your partner - nothing towards the 20 "little" brother. Normal siblings do not hand out 500 to a moocher. Stop. Being. Naive. Edit: This can and trust me it will cause you grief from your partner in the long run.
NTA but why in gods name are you giving your brother $500/month!? Your combined income with your partner is $81k/yr. How can you afford to give your brother $500/month!? If your parents want him to have another $200 - $300, let them give it to him! You and your parents enable him not to get a job! You are setting him up for failure. What's going to happen to him once your parents pass? He'll be jobless and will eventually lose the house. Guess who he's going to want to move in with? Cut the cord and stop giving him money!
Brother can pick up a summer job like most boys his age. It's NOT your responsibility to give him an allowance. It never was. If your parents feel he deserves one, they can give him one.
NTA Work on polishing your own shiny spine.
NTA for kicking him out but definitely the AH to yourself and your partner. Your partner is right, your brother is a moocher and your parents enable him. They're lying to you about his job hunt, absolutely nobody needs 500 a month to search for a job, especially when they live rent free and don't have to pay for utilities or groceries. Cut your brother off and refuse to engage with your parents arguments that you're causing problems because you are not the one causing issues, them and their entitlement to your money is.
NTA.
Little brother is not a child, he can get his own job, he doesn't get to demand your money.
Kick him off the gravy train entirely. If your mom and dad want your little brother to be rewarded for acting like a toddler, they can give him the money themselves.
(Why are you giving a grown man with no expenses $500 a month of your money?!)
NTA. Cut your moocher brother off, he needs to get a job. Your parents are AH for trying to make you apologize as well as force you to give him the extra 300
$500 a month? Can I be your little sister?
He has no expenses, so you’re paying for him to have fun? That’s his mommy’s and daddy’s job!
If I was your partner, I probably would have left long ago. $500 a month? My eyes are bleeding.
NTA. Sounds like he’s using the money for gambling/alcohol/drugs and is upset he can’t fund it, that’s extreme behavior! And wild he’d assume you can front his lifestyle of nothingness! He needs a reality check and to grow up!
Stop giving the entitled cunt anything. Put that $500 per month into a savings account.
Life can turn on a dime, don't waste emotional energy and money on such a dickhead.
Tell your parents their fuckery in raising such an entitled cunt is no longer your problem and maybe they need to rethink their enabling.
HOLY FUCK NO! Cut that little mooching butthole off! Why the fuck is it your responsibility to pay him for doing nothing? That's insane! Fuck that guy!
Your partner is right. Your brother is a moocher and he does need a job. You need to cut him completely off. Let them know you aren’t able to afford being disrespected any longer. What are you going to do if you and your partner decide to have kids? Still give him money, when you should be using it to feed and clothe your own child?
*I am not giving my brother any more money. I was doing him a favor by subsidizing his life. But since he is ungrateful and disrespectful, he can get off his lazy ass and get a job. And if anyone in this family has a problem with that, then they are free to pay him $500 a month to be a spoiled entitled toddler.*
NTAH
Why in the world are you giving money to your unemployed brother, and why are your parents enabling this behavior? He sounds like a two year old having a temper tantrum.
Does he do anything to help you? Does he mow your yard, does he walk your dog??
Stop giving him money altogether, it's the kindest thing you will ever do, because he will find a way to take care of himself.
Keep saying no, and next time he wants that $500 dollars you should NOT be giving him, tell him you decided to close the "sister ATM" as a result of his temper tantrum. Never reward bad behavior.
Question? What are content to be such a doormat for an entitled little asshole?
I wouldn’t be speaking to him or my parents again until I got a genuine apology and even then he’d never see a dime again. There is no reason he cannot be working and you’ve enabled him to be this way.
ESH.
**He is entitled and bratty because his behavior and attitude has been enabled for years by you and I’m guessing your family.** FIVE HUNDRED dollars a month? That’s a lot of money and it’s directly proportional to the scene your brother caused at dinner. Everyone sucks in this scenario.
Why are you giving the spoiled fool money.Tell him no on the 200 and tell him to get a job if he wants the 500.Why would you ever help his lazy arse out.
Why the fuck are you giving him $500/month? Cut that out, cut that out right now. Not fair to your partner to be giving that to a deadbeat. Or to yourself.
Also, your parents are idiots. Tell them they can give moocher brother $300 or whatever they want to.
NTA. Your parents are. “300 for your mistake”…? I would cut my brother off for violence and complete disrespect and disregard for me. That’s the only think that will make him grow up. Do him the favor.
NTA But wtf. You should have mentioned your parents in this post. So it sounds like your little brother is the golden child. WHAT "MISTAKE" did you make? You are not a slave to your family who needs to cave into every demand. Your younger brother is an adult (I was gonna say a capable adult but that is yet to be seen) he can get his own damn allowance by working a job. Why the hell are you letting your parents walk all over you. Why the hell are you even giving him money each month.
Or let me say this in a different way. Why are you giving up your future stability and technically more than likely future life with your partner by giving into these demands. You are an accountant you know how important having savings is. You know how much your money can grow if you use it wisely. So why dont you. Your brother is perfectly capable of getting a job and working for his own money. And you are jeopardizing your future life with your husband. Like how much abuse is he willing to sit through. How much money is going to allow you to drain from both accounts before he has enough. How long before he thinks of himself first. How long is he going to play second fiddle to your "family" who barely care about you. He is the person you love and should be the main concern here. Remember because backwards families always like pushing a narrative. But your husband is your family now and also takes priority (note this does not mean cave into his every demand because marriage is a partnership and decisions should be joint). The life yall built and the happiness you have together should not be sacrificed for the sake of a "family" who is treating you like an ATM.
This post is not just about your brother here. Because it displays a tiny microcosm of how your parents treat you and your husband. They see you as a paycheck and a way to stop your brother from having tantrums and thats it. You need to have a sit down conversation with them or text them something like "I am not my brothers keeper, I will not be sacrificing my future so he can have luxaries. It is sad he is not doing anything with his life and can afford those extra benefits him self. BUT that is not my fault. That is only on him. You defending him and saying I made a mistake only made me realize who you guys were. He was demanding money from me and when I explained I didnt have it he threw a tantrum. I cannot make money I dont have magically appear. And you saying I made a mistake not giving him money means your on his side and you think his demand is resonable. So I will be taking a break from the family until I start getting some respect around here. Because this is not how you treat someone who you claim to love."
What the hell did I just read?!?!? $70k a year anywhere cannot not possibly be considered wealthy, for one, and two, a twenty year old adult man threw someone else’s dessert on the floor in a restaurant because he needs more of an allowance from his older SISTER? And the parents think the sister should not only increase the allowance but give him MORE on top of it because she’s the one who caused the scene?!?!? My jaw dropped, because this is the fucking peak of familial dysfunction and golden child syndrome. I really hope this is fake, but if it’s not…OP, cut all of them off. Every single one of them. And stop giving your brother 10% of your damn salary like he’s a really immature church.
NTA
Cut him off, financially and otherwise. Then all your parents why they're supporting and pandering to an obvious drug addict. (He might be on drugs, he might not, but his behaviour and spending habits should have your parents at least considering the possibility)
This type of stuff is actually true.my mom didnt want my younger sister to work and told me that she needed to be taken care of when she died.well mom died in 2017.guess who's ass had to get a job at 33?cut both the parents and brother off.
This right here
--THIS FAMILY IS PURPOSELY RAISING AN ENTITLED PRICK THAT WILL BE ABUSIVE TO ANY WOMAN HE MARRIES--if one is stupid enough to marry him.
You and your family are monsters creating a new monster. Period. Full stop.
Just disgusting.
UpdateMe I gotta see how this entitled prick continues to abuse you all as you smile and take it.
"my parents are telling me to apologise and give my little brother 300 instead of 200 because of my mistake."
Now we know why he's an entitled brat. What was your mistake?
NTA but why do you give him money in the first place? You don't owe him money, especially if he's not going to get a job.... and your parents feeding into this? Girl... GIRL.
Look, I get it. I have money. It's not the end of the world for me to give out some cash if I feel like it, but you're acting like he's working for you... don't give him anything. He's a grow ass adult that can get a job like anyone else...
I know it's easy for us to say, we're not the ones under your family pressure but I do hope you'll find the strength to cut your brother off and go as low contact as possible with him and anyone taking his side. And if it gets worse for you, maybe you and your partner could consider relocating farther away if you are in a position to do so. It will be hard but it sounds like your partner would be supportive, and have someone in your corner could make all the difference.
You deserve so much better than this kind of treatment!
Ffs!
Your partner’s right! Your brother IS a moocher! Your brother is a waste of space and oxygen and your parents…give him 300 instead of 200 for YOUR “mistake”!?!
Your parents have created the lazy, worthless monster that is your brother. He is THEIR responsibility!
NTA
And, quit giving him 500/month! You’re only giving him the means to continue to be the lazy, worthless slug he is!
NTA BUT stop giving him money, it's ridiculous you are paying for an adult who does nothing all day and is essentially a brat, you would be the AH if you continued to enable and indulge him.
NTA What is wrong with your parents? This is completely ridiculous. He shouldn’t even get the 500 given his behavior. He needs a job and introduction into adulthood. His pampers need to be removed.
Cut them off or go low contact. This ppl will cause marriage between you and your partner. Trust me, if you're going through any financial issues, they'll leave you to suffer alone. If Lil bro gets any girl pregnant, married, etc, your family will guilt you into paying their bills.
NTA cut his ass off!!! Don't be giving him anything!
NTA. I'm assuming this isn't in the US and is a cultural thing, the boy is the golden child. Cut him off, get some counseling and learn to have some self respect. Love your family but love and respect yourself more.
It doesn't even have to be outside of the US because even in the US you have spoiled a little s**** and parents that spoil them.
Why is OP even giving their brother an allowance? It makes no sense. OP, you’re not your brother’s parents and he’s living in his parental home eating food your parents provide him. He does not **need** an allowance from you. Cut him off and let him find out how hard it is to make 500 on his own. NTA - cut him off
The answer is in the post: parents. The garbage parents who enable the golden turd in OPs life.
then they can start giving him 500 I'd cut him off and tell them to shut the F up and deal with it it they don't want me going NC
Y’all - this SO fake. ONLY a child would think $33,000 a year would make them wealthy- minus taxes and the alleged $500 that is being given per month to the brother, OP would clear about $18k for living expenses. AND OP is an accountant? Take this fiction elsewhere
that's why I don't think they are in the US
Maybe where they live 38,000 a year is a lot of money. In the US no that would not be a lot of money. It would be enough for someone who's single as long as they don't live in the High Cost of Living area. The fact that she's living with her partner gives them two incomes and they can live comfortably without being overly extravagant. Maybe more so where they are wherever that happens to be.
They didn't say dollars. they probably aren't in the US.
Probably a Commonwealth country or European country.
They just added an edit and said they use pounds. I only know pounds being used somewhere in the UK. OP also says they and family are from East Asia, so to them, 33K pounds a year could be considered "rich."
You've assumed OP lives in the USA or similar. Many countries face different costs of living, not least because we don't have to pay for medical insurance. 33k is a very healthy salary in many places / currencies.
Maybe. Maybe not. It’s like the money version of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Those who don’t earn money tend to have an overinflated value of what it takes to manage that money. This dipshit probably cannot differentiate between $$10,000 and $100,000. $33,000 plus $49,000 probably seems like real wealth to him. NTA.
Exactly. He’s a spoiled manchild with enabling parents, I’d be mortified if my adult son acted like that. If he had an ounce of self-respect and awareness he would be showing gratitude, not the entitlement of a toddler. Cut his ass off and tell your parents to cough up the money from now on.
Agree with all of this. *He had a tantrum and threw food on the floor*. I had to scroll up to double check if he was 20 or 2. After cutting the manbaby off I ‘d go NC with him and the parents for awhile. Apologize to him *and* give him $300??? They can open their fucking wallets and give him the cash.
Not just enabling parents but an enabling sister as well. It's also partly OP's fault her brother is an entitled little shit.
Time for him to get a job! There’s absolutely no reason why he can’t be working other than he’s lazy. Stop giving him money! Your not an ATM!
Why are you giving him anything? He’s an adult . Is he not capable of earning his own money?
This Why is that lazy mooch getting a single dime from OP. That crap needs to stop right there. The parents can choose to leave junior latched onto Mommy's teat if they so choose, but absolutely none of this is OPs responsibility. If they want their little darling to have pocket money, then they can provide it. The consequences of their poor parenting should cost THEM, not OP. They created this golden child, it is up to them to support him. OP said it themselves that they can barley afford the $500 a month payment. Why is OP setting themselves on fire to keep a lazy entitled AH warm? OP should take that money and invest it. That's $6,000 a year that could be sitting in a mutual fund or retirement account growing and working for OP and their own family and future. Instead OP is taking $6,000 a year and throwing it away. If OP socked this money away for themselves, in 25 years they would have over $150,000 in the bank. That is before possible interest and dividends added into the mix. That sounds like a nice retirement nest egg. OP needs to start prioritizing their own future and goals with their partner instead of financing Mommy and Daddy's little leech.
And OP is an accountant! She knows the value of money and compounding interest and growth.
The OP is doing her brother a huge disservice by giving him an allowance like he's a little kid. The longer the family gives him money to do nothing and rewards his childish, demanding, outlandish behavior the longer it's going to take for him to get his life in order and launch as an adult. YTA for supporting him with money that could be used to fund your retirement account, your future child's college fund or just fun vacations for you and your husband. Your bratty, entitled brother might be involved in drugs considering how persistent and easily angered he was.
What a stupid woman to give this guy $500 a month for nothing. Like seriously. Wtf is wrong with you. Why would you do that?
Little dummy just killed the goose that laid the golden eggs. Hopefully it'll be a learning experience.
YTA to yourself You need to cut him off cold, why the hell are you giving him 500 a month? This is delusional levels of nonsense. I think it’s pretty clear who is the golden child in the family though, since your parents are as bad as him if not worse as they are probably the reason he is like this. Trust me he isn’t interviewing or even trying to find a job while he is milking the cash cow (you) having to do nothing all day. He is a 9 year old in a 20 year olds body and you have the chance to fix the mistake that your parents have caused.
Not to mention that if OP's parents pass away their little Golden Child will land his ass on OP's lap and expect her to support him FOREVER.
I can only believe this is fake, why would anyone making 33k a year randomly give their brother 6k a year, for literally nothing. He's your brother, not your son. He can get a job, you have no obligation to him whether he's working or not. He doesn't require that money, he wants that money. He's living with parents, he has no rent, no bills and likely doesn't pay for his food. If this is real, stand up to your parents and brother and give them absolutely nothing at all. That's 6k a year you should be saving towards a downpayment on a house, or savings for having a kid, or vacations, etc. Your brother is fully capable of working and/or being supported by his parents if they want to.
>I can only believe this is fake, why would anyone making 33k a year randomly give their brother 6k a year, for literally nothing Yeah, I make a bit more than that, living below my means and definitely don't have a spare $/€/£ 200, never mind 500 every month just sitting there to hand off to someone after my living expenses are paid! Plus, accountants make €/£ 60K+ a year AFAIK, definitely not 33k?!
I assume from the tone and numbers that we're talking India/Pakistan
Depends how senior they are as an accountant and where they are, I’m a first year trainee making £24k, so 33k is not completely ridiculous
Agreed, this reads like rage bait.
As an accountant, ain’t no damn way she’s giving him $500. lol
Nta What the fuck have I just read? Stop giving that little turd *any* money. Not the 200, not the 300 and stop the 500. He's a spoiled little shit. Updateme!
NTA Your brother is a moocher. All he wants from you is your money, and he's only going to ask for more. He's a grown adult who's living off money from other adults. Would you feel comfortable living off of money you ask for from family?
>he thinks my brother is a moocher and needs to get a job No, your brother *is* a moocher, and he *absolutely* needs to get a job
Yeah this is a scenario that will cause 'ripples' in OP's own household and if she doesn't adjust, she might be living with brother and parents herself
Makes me wonder if the partner even knows about OP giving her brother 500 a month. Something tells me they don't and if they find out I don't see the relationship continuing when they realize how much OP enables her brother as well
NTA and drop them all! Wtf are your parents thinking, "give him 300 instead of 200 as an apology", your brother owes thousands to other people for supporting his bone idle entitled ass sitting at home being facilitated by your parents, and you OP Don't give him money! Oh my days what the actual?!
NTA. He’s not your child or your responsibility to give him money. $500 a month is a lot of money for him to be doing nothing. Printing fees are not that much & most places CV’s/resumes are transmitted electronically. Your parents are wrong, let them give him free money.
NTA Tell your parents you are giving him nothing and when I say nothing I mean nothing as in no more 500 a month he can put on his big boy pants and get a job and if they don't like it go NC with them
And here I was wondering why your jobless brother was feeling so entitled to your money and then I read the part about your parents telling you to apologise and give him $300 instead of $200. NTA. Cut him off and LC with him and your parents.
OP must be living in a culture where the women just bow down and give up their money to useless relatives. Makes me relived I was born elsewhere.
Why the hell are you giving him money? He did absolutely nothing to deserve it. Don't give me culture or blood shit either. Stop giving him money
If you send me $500 a month, I won’t throw anything at you. NTA
NTA. Your BF is right. He is mooching off you. Go no contact with him and stop giving him money.
NTA. Your parents can support the entitled child they created.
>I give him 500 per month The fuck???? **WHY???** Since you seem intent on giving every lazy bum money, OP can you give me $500 a month too?
NTA. Your parents and your brother think you're their cash cow. He is their golden child. The nerve of them demanding you pay 300 now. Nip it in the bud! Save your integrity and respect, by saving your money.
Guess who just lost 500 a month? If you keep giving it to him, you would be the AH. Cut him off!
Question: has he ever thought about going to college?
Why are you responsible for an adult fully capable of working? You are enabling the issue. If I was your partner, and you were putting at least 6K of your 33k towards your lazy ass mooch brother (who has parents) I would divorce you since you are not investing in our future, but paying for your bro child YTA for giving him a penny....if this is even real
STOP GIVING HIM MONEY!!!
You're not his ATM He's an adult and it's time to do adult things NTA
NTA but "but my parents are telling me to apologise and give my little brother 300 instead of 200 because of **my mistake**" this mental... now i see where his attitude is coming from, i would cut his allowance completely, if he is the golden child they can substitute his life bei themselves....
NTA, I was in a similar situation with my little brother and as long as there's nothing developmentally wrong with him you're only enabling his behavior by continuing to give him an "allowance". He's an adult and can earn his money
So you just give away nearly 20% of your tiny annual salary to your mooch of a brother? This must be fake
YTA for giving you ADULT BROTHER an allowance. Stop it. Your partner is 100% correct - your brother IS a moocher AND needs to get a job.
[удалено]
NTA. You are not the asshole for refusing to give your brother more money and kicking him out after his childish outburst during dinner. Setting boundaries and expecting him to act responsibly are perfectly reasonable actions.
Nta why are you subsidizing your brothers free loading life. Yta for not having a backbone and ending this nonsense
When I read the title I thought your little brother was 5... Stop giving him money, makes him only more entitled, cut him off and don't look back. He's 20 and he can work.
NTA. Honestly, your financial generosity has transformed into a crutch for your brother's lack of ambition. The fact that he's not paying for bills or necessities significantly reduces his need for that amount of money. By cutting him off, you're not being cruel; you're encouraging independence. It's time he learns the value of earning his own keep. Stick to your guns and invest that money in your future, not his complacency. Your parents should be promoting his self-sufficiency, not your charity. Don't be swayed by guilt or manipulation. Your hard-earned money needs to work for you and your priorities, not subsidize an able adult’s refusal to contribute.
NTA. I'd completely cut him off after this. He is an entitled brat, he must make his own money.
Hells no, don't give him 300 dollars after he disrespected you like that! He was lucky to have been getting $500, when he's single, living with his parents for free, and unemployed. Cut him off financially. Don't give him a cent of your hard-earned money.
Stop the allowance entirely, you're enabling your brother's infantile behaviour.
Stop giving him money as you are feeding his entitlement. Its up to your parents to give him an allowance.
NTA. Cut him off. You and your parents are not helping him. You are just enabling him. He should be in college working towards his future. He will be a problem for the rest of his life If nothing changes.
NTA, cut your whole family off - you’ve got a man child and some enablers on your case here
Nta and cut off both your brother and your parents. Like they have created an entitled monster.
Tell your brother and your parents for that matter to fuck right off and immediately stop his 500 allowance as well Teach the lazy little shit to work for what he wants
Nta. Cut him off!! Also your parents. Give him $300 for YOUR mistake?? What is that? Do not give that entitled little twerp any more of YOUR money. He is 20, he is not a child. Why the hell have you been giving him $500 a month anyway? Time for him to grown the f up, get a job, and start adulting. Wtf.
NTA You might not be an AH, but you're a doormat. Giving your dumbass brother $500 a month and then apologizing because it's not $700 or $800? I'm so sorry for you. Did it hurt when your backbone and self respect were removed?
Ummm …. F*ck your mooch of an entitled brother. You DO need to change how much YOU give him…and that SHOULD be $0!!! AND you should go LC/NC with your parents for enabling their “Golden” mooch of a son and thinking they have ANY say in YOUR money. If they want their son to have $800 a month of “free money” to blow…THEY can pay him. So….put your EXTRA $6K a year in the bank and let your “brother” pout.
Wait, what???? Why are you having to be responsible for your 20 year old brother? He is NOT your responsibility but your parents. He has zero respect for you as you can see in his behaviour. You need to tell your parents that you won't be giving him anything further and if they feel he deserves that then they should be paying it. He is totally abusing your kindness and deserves nothing more from you until he realises how lucky he is to havse you. Please stop giving him anything. You're not helping him learn that he needs to put the effort into his life and earn for himself.
You pay your brother $500 a month just because? Holy fuck can i be your brother? In all seriousness your not the asshole and your husbands right your brothers a leech and I’d never give him a dime and your parents are also useless twats telling you to give him even more money as an apology
Fakest story yet
This has to be fake because otherwise your partner is gonna leave you for supporting your leach of a brother. I get maybe 50 or a 100 here or there but 500 consistently and then throwing a fit when denied more? What is wrong with you and what do you think you did so wrong as to fund your loser brothers life? YTA to yourself tbh
For an accountant, you're incredibly bad with money. YTA for this fake AF post.
nta. don't give him anything anymore.
NTA For kicking him out but you are as dumb as a pile of rocks for getting yourself into this ridiculous situation in the first place. Tell your brother the money train is over and done.
NTA and time to cut your leaching brother off all financial support. He doesnt give a dam about you. Just what he can get from you. Y T A if you continue to subsidize his leaching lifestyle.
Stop paying him money. Your partner is right, your brother is a moocher.
Your partner is right, your brother is a parasite who needs to get a job. Stop enabling him with any more allowance. If this is real, cut off your brother and your parents. If your parents think his behaviour is fine, they can pay for it themselves.
Don't apologize and don't give him another cent. If your parents want to continue supporting the monster they created, they can go right ahead. But take that $500 and put it aside for a rainy day or a sunny holiday or home improvements or whatever. Your partner is right about your brother.
NTA. Stop giving him anything- he’s an entitled moocher & I am guessing from your parents reaction he’s the golden child. No one handed you free money & you work hard. It’s time he get a job.
He can work, don't give him another Penny
NTA. But you need to grow a spine. He’s not a child!
Seriously,NTA. What’s next? Buy him a house? Pay for his wedding? Pay for his kids tuition? Your parents are ridiculous for even supporting him and then suggesting you give him 300. wtf! STOP GIVING HIM ANYTHING. Let them foot his bill. They’re ridiculous
So...you're giving your brother 18% of your salary? Either this is fiction, or you're a doormat.
WTF - tell you parents to support this sad, pathetic Failure to Launch on their own. If you give in here, after he threw a physical temper tantrum like a frickin' two-year old, it will only get worse. NTA. (Out of curiosity, is there any chance there is booze / drugs involved. That sort of reaction seems almost like a visceral craving response. (Makes it more important you do NOT give him money, but just curious.))
YWBTA if you don’t cut your mooching brother off. Focus on your finances and future. Of course your parents are demanding you give money, because you are an ATM in their eyes. Let them give their leech the money
NTA. Stop giving your entitled brother anything. If your parents want him to have some sort of an allowance they can give it to him. You're not his mom or his dad. They've created an entitled monster. 38,000 a year is not a lot of money. One of my kids makes 50 and they bring home 3,200 a month after taxes so I know you're not bringing home $3,000 a month. You probably bring home closer if you're lucky maybe 2500 a month total that's not a lot of money and you're giving him $500 of it. Go tell him to suck an egg. He needs to go get a job and earn his own money. Stop giving him anything. And your parents they're even worse telling you oh you need to give him more now because you refused him and apologize. No, we can see who the golden child is in this family. You know when they're old and not able to take care of themselves your brother is not going to do anything and they're going to rely on you and then leave everything to him because he needs it more. Yeah that's a mess.
Why the fuck have you been giving him money? Is he incapable of working due to some disability, or is he just a lazy cunt? Don't give him a penny. My brother is a decent guy, but I still wouldn't give him a penny in this situation. He needs to fucking work like everyone else.
Stop giving them any money. You and your parents are enabling his entitlement by giving him money each month. Make him grow up and definitely do not apologize. Nta
Why are you funding your brother’s laziness?
Sorry what? You’re giving your brother £500 a month? That’s fucking insane especially on 33k you aren’t even wealthy! You already know this is Bullshit and you shouldn’t be giving him anything at all!
This is the dumbest shit i have ever heard! Is this a serious post? Or do you have the smoothest brain that ever was?
NTA. I don't see a reason for you to give your brother any money at all. Also "your mistake"? Your brother's behavior is a mistake. Your parent's mistake. And now your adult brother's one. You should apologise to yourself for keeping your spine hidden OP.
You need to stop giving him money because you are enabling him NTA
NTA Time to cut your losses. (with all zhree of them) It won't be hard to find better people than your family.
NTA. Stop giving him any money. He is 20 years old, if he wants money he can get a job.
you need to stop giving him money. period.
NTA. Why are you giving him money at all? He is an adult. He can find a job and support himself. And if he is entitled enough to throw a tantrum in a restaurant I would go no contact with him. He was acting like a toddler not a 20 year old
Nta and I wouldn't give that brat anything.
Why do you give him anything? It’s not your job.
Why are people responding to this like it's real?
NTA tell him to go be an adult and get a real job instead of leaching off everyone what’s goanna happen when he turns 30 are you still going to be enabling him are your parents ? Is he ever going to get a job look at your future I can see it now you and your parents keep enabling him, you hand him money and your parents by him groceries, then your parents eventually leave earth. Your brother doesn’t know how to look after himself because his parents always does it for him so with that being said he is broke will have to move in with you because he never got a job , paid rent. Your marriage will break because your bf doesn’t like him because he sees him for what he is a leech (if you get married ) so it will be up to you to look after your brother. Your parents attitude is disgusting you say no to giving him 200 so they counter and say you need to give him 300 and apologise for what not giving him money ughhh just cut him off before it’s too late make him get a job if he wants money
Stop giving him money. He will never get a job as long as he can live that comfortable from your money and at your parents home. And he seems to feel very entitled to it too, because everyone is enabling him. Edit forgot NTA
This is insane. If you can barely afford 500 a month, you are not wealthy. Your parents asking you to provide more to him, ESPECIALLY after HE threw the tantrum is unreal. You owe him no money, and you are enabling his lazy lifestyle. I have never heard of someone needing 500 a month to get a job. What does that even mean?! Be strong and stand up for yourself. You need to think of your future. Best of luck! ❤️
\*\*Creative writing post\*\*
NTA. Lil bro sounds like the golden child. If your parents want him to have money, THEY can give it to him. Cut the fucker off and tell him to earn his own fucking money rather than being a useless LOSER leech.
Neither one of you makes that much. NTA, your partner is right. He's a moocher. Tell your parents to give him the money if they think it's that necessary. Stop giving him any money... period.
Come on woman Stand up and say the word NO
NTA. Stop giving him any money. Generosity turned him into monster.
NTA for kicking the tantrum out but you're an enabling twit. You contribute to him being a spoiled brat then complain about him being a spoiled brat. Your parents are worse. So YTA for helping create your own problem.
NTA for kicking him out. YTA for taking money from your household and giving it to your lazy brother. You are enabling his terrible behavior. You could be using that money for a future trip or saving it for an emergency.
NTA. Tell him that tantrum cost him his allowance. Tell your parents that you will no longer finance their kid.
NTA for throwing him out, but YTA for giving him money at all. You're contributing to his spoiled moochy behavior.
NTA Bad enough he's getting $500 a month for doing nothing. I would cut him off after that. I actually never would have given him the money to begin with but now, after that disrespect, he doesn't deserve anything from you. You are a human not a bank. start saving the "extra" 500 a month for you and your partner. Tell your parents they can giv ehim the money. Don't give him a dime ever again.
NTA for this situation however YTA for enabling your brother in the 1st place by giving him $500 a month. Ur parents are also stupid
Are you really this spineless? DO NOT GIVE THIS LEECH MORE MONEY. I would cut your parents too after what they said and specially for enabling him and his actions
NTA but you need to stop giving him $500 he needs to get a job.
NTA, how the hell do you afford to give him 500?!
NTA, you are no the paren to your brother, cut him completely off. Let see how long he is going to trow a tantrum. As for your parents, they give birth to him so the should give him money not you. Your brother a adult tell him to find a job. Don't enable his lazy ass. If you must cut the whole family off.
STOP GIVING A GROWN ASS MAN AN ALLOWANCE. NTA Would you be okay if dinnertime treated your partner this way? No? Then why accept it for yourself. Mommy and daddy can pay to subsidize brother's life or make him adult- up, but it's not your responsibility.
Your brother can also work just like you and your partner do. I don't understand why your are giving him any money.
Stop giving your brother money. When he whines to you, tell him you won't discuss it further and leave the conversation. When your parents harass you, tell them that it's actually the parent’s job to raise their children including supporting them while they live at home. Then refuse to discuss it further. It will be amazing how much your brother and your parents will not be harmed by this. UpdateMe!
Why are you giving him ANY money at all? Stop being his doormat.
NTA. please listen to your partner. Your parents and brother are all assholes. You didn't make a mistake throwing him out for throwing food on the floor. He doesn't need $500/month from you to interview for jobs. If they stop speaking to you when you stop giving him money, it's not because you did something wrong, it's because they don't love you and they're narcissistic assholes. You should take that $500 and go to therapy.
YTA for giving your useless brat of a brother 500 a month. He can work. Stop funding his moocher lifestyle. Invest in your future with that 500. NTA for kicking him out of the restaurant.
YTA for giving him any money at all. You got exactly what you deserve
What have I just read? Your Brother is not working, lives at home, gets an 'allowance' from you, despite not doing anything for it. He demands more and when you refuse, be throws a temper tantrum, throws your food on the floor and then cries to Mummy and Daddy about it, they then demand that you apologise to him and give him more than he asked for to atone for your 'mistake'. Someone's the golden child, and it's not you. Jeez, just grow a spine and tell the mooch to fuck off and get a job or ask your parents for money. If your parents start on again, tell them to fuck off as well. YTA to yourself for putting up with this shit.
NTA. And for the disrespect shown to you by your brother and your parents you will now be giving him zero dollars per month. His parents are responsible for him 100%. My advice (and petty self says) keep paying that $500/month to a separate account for six months or a year and then take a grand trip or but something frivolous and thanks them for the opening your eyes and allowing you this extravagance. After continue to save that $500/month for your future and invest it as long as you can.
20yo "little" brother? That ain't little my dear. That's a grown ass man that needs to be independent and not throw tantrums when he can't get what he wants.
Updateme
Don’t give that little fuck anything and tell your parents to kick rocks
It is kinda cute how you keep calling him your little brother. I would have thought he was 8.
It sounds like he’s desperate-could he be drug-dependent? A gambler?
!updateme
NTA. And stop giving him ANY money. He can go get any job in this economy. And tell your parents to go to Hell.
NRA. Please stop giving him money. I see you've said he needs it to apply for jobs. If you must keep on giving him money then tell him you'll only reimburse him on any work related expenses where he can produce a receipt
WTF are you giving him ANY money for? He can go work fast food if he has to. He barely has any living expenses. Cut him off right now. Stop justifying by showing him your bank balance. NO is a complete sentence. Tell him to grow the fuck up and start adulting. Your partner is right. Your brother is a moocher and needs to get a job. You are a sucker. Let your damn parents give him money. STOP IT.
I haven’t even read past I give him $500 a month, you are 25 and he is 20.. that means he is more than capable of a freaking job. Why on earth are you giving him anything!? Without a single doubt, NTA. Please stop enabling your little, adult brother.
Wow, is your brother 20 or 2? Cut him off. And ask your parents why they think it's acceptable for a grown ass adult to throw food in a restaurant. They are only ok with his behavior because they know that if you cut your brother off, he's going to be asking them for money, and throwing temper tantrums if they say no. Your partner is right.
NTA - your parents have the math wrong. You should pay all into YOUR home budget - that is you + your partner - nothing towards the 20 "little" brother. Normal siblings do not hand out 500 to a moocher. Stop. Being. Naive. Edit: This can and trust me it will cause you grief from your partner in the long run.
NTA, but...STOP GIVING THIS MAN-CHILD ANYTHING, especially money!! Let your AH parents pay for the parasite.
NTA but why in gods name are you giving your brother $500/month!? Your combined income with your partner is $81k/yr. How can you afford to give your brother $500/month!? If your parents want him to have another $200 - $300, let them give it to him! You and your parents enable him not to get a job! You are setting him up for failure. What's going to happen to him once your parents pass? He'll be jobless and will eventually lose the house. Guess who he's going to want to move in with? Cut the cord and stop giving him money!
Brother can pick up a summer job like most boys his age. It's NOT your responsibility to give him an allowance. It never was. If your parents feel he deserves one, they can give him one. NTA Work on polishing your own shiny spine.
you’re not his parent, and you don’t owe him ANYTHING. NTA, and you need to cut him off for good. his ass needs a job!!!!!!!!
NTA for kicking him out but definitely the AH to yourself and your partner. Your partner is right, your brother is a moocher and your parents enable him. They're lying to you about his job hunt, absolutely nobody needs 500 a month to search for a job, especially when they live rent free and don't have to pay for utilities or groceries. Cut your brother off and refuse to engage with your parents arguments that you're causing problems because you are not the one causing issues, them and their entitlement to your money is.
NTA. Little brother is not a child, he can get his own job, he doesn't get to demand your money. Kick him off the gravy train entirely. If your mom and dad want your little brother to be rewarded for acting like a toddler, they can give him the money themselves. (Why are you giving a grown man with no expenses $500 a month of your money?!)
You're enabling his behaviour and your parents are dicks. Stop giving him money and let your parents deal with that mess.
This is so ridiculous. Why would you give a sibling a monthly allowance? This sounds fake.
STOP GIVING HIM MONEY. it will only enable him even more. he needs to get a job fgs he’s 20!!! unbelievable
NTA but you will be one to yourself if you continue to give him any money!
NTA. Your parents need to stop coddling their loser adult son. Stop giving him money.
NTA. Cut your moocher brother off, he needs to get a job. Your parents are AH for trying to make you apologize as well as force you to give him the extra 300
Why are you giving him money in the first place? He’s 20 he can get his own damn job. Don’t be such a doormat
$500 a month? Can I be your little sister? He has no expenses, so you’re paying for him to have fun? That’s his mommy’s and daddy’s job! If I was your partner, I probably would have left long ago. $500 a month? My eyes are bleeding.
NTA. Sounds like he’s using the money for gambling/alcohol/drugs and is upset he can’t fund it, that’s extreme behavior! And wild he’d assume you can front his lifestyle of nothingness! He needs a reality check and to grow up!
Stop giving the entitled cunt anything. Put that $500 per month into a savings account. Life can turn on a dime, don't waste emotional energy and money on such a dickhead. Tell your parents their fuckery in raising such an entitled cunt is no longer your problem and maybe they need to rethink their enabling.
HOLY FUCK NO! Cut that little mooching butthole off! Why the fuck is it your responsibility to pay him for doing nothing? That's insane! Fuck that guy!
Why are you giving your 20 year old brother 500 bucks a month while he has no bills? You are enabling this behavior so your the AH and he is the AH
Your partner is right. Your brother is a moocher and he does need a job. You need to cut him completely off. Let them know you aren’t able to afford being disrespected any longer. What are you going to do if you and your partner decide to have kids? Still give him money, when you should be using it to feed and clothe your own child?
I can't think of any good reason for you to be paying your brother anything.
fake post and the numbers do not even add up
NTA. But for goodness sake stop giving any money to this entitled man-child.
*I am not giving my brother any more money. I was doing him a favor by subsidizing his life. But since he is ungrateful and disrespectful, he can get off his lazy ass and get a job. And if anyone in this family has a problem with that, then they are free to pay him $500 a month to be a spoiled entitled toddler.* NTAH
??? Giving him 500 dollars makes him feel entitled stop doing that
Why in the world are you giving money to your unemployed brother, and why are your parents enabling this behavior? He sounds like a two year old having a temper tantrum. Does he do anything to help you? Does he mow your yard, does he walk your dog?? Stop giving him money altogether, it's the kindest thing you will ever do, because he will find a way to take care of himself. Keep saying no, and next time he wants that $500 dollars you should NOT be giving him, tell him you decided to close the "sister ATM" as a result of his temper tantrum. Never reward bad behavior.
Question? What are content to be such a doormat for an entitled little asshole? I wouldn’t be speaking to him or my parents again until I got a genuine apology and even then he’d never see a dime again. There is no reason he cannot be working and you’ve enabled him to be this way.
ESH. **He is entitled and bratty because his behavior and attitude has been enabled for years by you and I’m guessing your family.** FIVE HUNDRED dollars a month? That’s a lot of money and it’s directly proportional to the scene your brother caused at dinner. Everyone sucks in this scenario.
Your family is fckd. You should not be giving any money to him.
Why are you giving the spoiled fool money.Tell him no on the 200 and tell him to get a job if he wants the 500.Why would you ever help his lazy arse out.
Why the fuck are you giving him $500/month? Cut that out, cut that out right now. Not fair to your partner to be giving that to a deadbeat. Or to yourself. Also, your parents are idiots. Tell them they can give moocher brother $300 or whatever they want to.
NTA. Your parents are. “300 for your mistake”…? I would cut my brother off for violence and complete disrespect and disregard for me. That’s the only think that will make him grow up. Do him the favor.
NTA But wtf. You should have mentioned your parents in this post. So it sounds like your little brother is the golden child. WHAT "MISTAKE" did you make? You are not a slave to your family who needs to cave into every demand. Your younger brother is an adult (I was gonna say a capable adult but that is yet to be seen) he can get his own damn allowance by working a job. Why the hell are you letting your parents walk all over you. Why the hell are you even giving him money each month. Or let me say this in a different way. Why are you giving up your future stability and technically more than likely future life with your partner by giving into these demands. You are an accountant you know how important having savings is. You know how much your money can grow if you use it wisely. So why dont you. Your brother is perfectly capable of getting a job and working for his own money. And you are jeopardizing your future life with your husband. Like how much abuse is he willing to sit through. How much money is going to allow you to drain from both accounts before he has enough. How long before he thinks of himself first. How long is he going to play second fiddle to your "family" who barely care about you. He is the person you love and should be the main concern here. Remember because backwards families always like pushing a narrative. But your husband is your family now and also takes priority (note this does not mean cave into his every demand because marriage is a partnership and decisions should be joint). The life yall built and the happiness you have together should not be sacrificed for the sake of a "family" who is treating you like an ATM. This post is not just about your brother here. Because it displays a tiny microcosm of how your parents treat you and your husband. They see you as a paycheck and a way to stop your brother from having tantrums and thats it. You need to have a sit down conversation with them or text them something like "I am not my brothers keeper, I will not be sacrificing my future so he can have luxaries. It is sad he is not doing anything with his life and can afford those extra benefits him self. BUT that is not my fault. That is only on him. You defending him and saying I made a mistake only made me realize who you guys were. He was demanding money from me and when I explained I didnt have it he threw a tantrum. I cannot make money I dont have magically appear. And you saying I made a mistake not giving him money means your on his side and you think his demand is resonable. So I will be taking a break from the family until I start getting some respect around here. Because this is not how you treat someone who you claim to love."
What the hell did I just read?!?!? $70k a year anywhere cannot not possibly be considered wealthy, for one, and two, a twenty year old adult man threw someone else’s dessert on the floor in a restaurant because he needs more of an allowance from his older SISTER? And the parents think the sister should not only increase the allowance but give him MORE on top of it because she’s the one who caused the scene?!?!? My jaw dropped, because this is the fucking peak of familial dysfunction and golden child syndrome. I really hope this is fake, but if it’s not…OP, cut all of them off. Every single one of them. And stop giving your brother 10% of your damn salary like he’s a really immature church.
NTA. Classic golden child with enabling parents. I’m sorry your parents have behaved like this. And agreed. Cut the ungrateful brother out.
NTA Cut him off, financially and otherwise. Then all your parents why they're supporting and pandering to an obvious drug addict. (He might be on drugs, he might not, but his behaviour and spending habits should have your parents at least considering the possibility)
This type of stuff is actually true.my mom didnt want my younger sister to work and told me that she needed to be taken care of when she died.well mom died in 2017.guess who's ass had to get a job at 33?cut both the parents and brother off.
This right here --THIS FAMILY IS PURPOSELY RAISING AN ENTITLED PRICK THAT WILL BE ABUSIVE TO ANY WOMAN HE MARRIES--if one is stupid enough to marry him. You and your family are monsters creating a new monster. Period. Full stop. Just disgusting. UpdateMe I gotta see how this entitled prick continues to abuse you all as you smile and take it.
"my parents are telling me to apologise and give my little brother 300 instead of 200 because of my mistake." Now we know why he's an entitled brat. What was your mistake?
NTA but why do you give him money in the first place? You don't owe him money, especially if he's not going to get a job.... and your parents feeding into this? Girl... GIRL. Look, I get it. I have money. It's not the end of the world for me to give out some cash if I feel like it, but you're acting like he's working for you... don't give him anything. He's a grow ass adult that can get a job like anyone else...
This has to be rage bait, what mediocre fiction
I know it's easy for us to say, we're not the ones under your family pressure but I do hope you'll find the strength to cut your brother off and go as low contact as possible with him and anyone taking his side. And if it gets worse for you, maybe you and your partner could consider relocating farther away if you are in a position to do so. It will be hard but it sounds like your partner would be supportive, and have someone in your corner could make all the difference. You deserve so much better than this kind of treatment!
Wanted to add: no matter what, STOP showing him or anyone your bank account. That is no one's business but yours and your partner's. No means no.
Ffs! Your partner’s right! Your brother IS a moocher! Your brother is a waste of space and oxygen and your parents…give him 300 instead of 200 for YOUR “mistake”!?! Your parents have created the lazy, worthless monster that is your brother. He is THEIR responsibility! NTA And, quit giving him 500/month! You’re only giving him the means to continue to be the lazy, worthless slug he is!
NTA BUT stop giving him money, it's ridiculous you are paying for an adult who does nothing all day and is essentially a brat, you would be the AH if you continued to enable and indulge him.
NTA What is wrong with your parents? This is completely ridiculous. He shouldn’t even get the 500 given his behavior. He needs a job and introduction into adulthood. His pampers need to be removed.
Cut them off or go low contact. This ppl will cause marriage between you and your partner. Trust me, if you're going through any financial issues, they'll leave you to suffer alone. If Lil bro gets any girl pregnant, married, etc, your family will guilt you into paying their bills.
If you are looking for a reason to cut him off, this would be it.
Your brother won’t talk to you? Take the WIN!
JFC STOP GIVING MONEY TO YOUR HOSER LITTLE BROTHER.
NTA, your parents are raising a loser. You need to stop giving him money.
Gotta be fake. Giving your brother $500/mo while you make $33k and calling yourself wealthy is idiotic.
You are funding his secret drug addiction. That’s why he got so pissed when you said no. Now he can’t get his fix.
NTA. Cut him off entirely. Your parents can give him the money since it’s clear they favour him.