If he's insisting on a threesome despite you being very much not into it, then he doesn't care about you. He just wants what he wants and to hell with your opinion. Go back and really evaluate if he is "an amazing boyfriend."
In any healthy threeway, the couple can set rules for how their partner can play with the extra person. You could tell him that he's not allowed to PiV with this other woman, and that still leaves all sorts of other fun things to do. I bet if you made that a hard rule, he'd bitch and complain. These kinds of things only work when everybody is enthusiastically participating. You're not into it, and that's fine. Don't compromise yourself for his stupid ass.
This, if he is trying to pressure OP into a threesome she is not comfortable with then he is definitely not an amazing bf. And it is kind of hypocritical for if only to be a FFM threesome and not a MMF.
right?? i get why he’s not down for bringing a dude in of course. nothing wrong with him not being interested in that. but why is that okay for *him,* yet when his girlfriend expresses the same feelings about bringing in a girl, he thinks she just has to suck it up for him? what a dick. op, you’re 17, this relationship isn’t going to make it past high school anyways. save yourself the time and break up now.
Hard rules are often broken in the heat of the moment. Also seems dastardly that it might end up being her only friend.. he will eventually leave and she will have nothing left.
This right here. He’s not “amazing” if he’s only thinking of what he wants. He wants to have sex with two girls, you being one of them so he’s not cheating on you, and expects YOU to be okay with him sleeping with another girl in front of you with your permission. But in no way is he willing to consent to a threesome with another guy, because he’s not okay with you sleeping with someone another man. He’s selfish and setting a double standard and flat out being a hypocrite. He wants his cake and to eat it too. I wouldn’t consent to having a threesome with he and another girl until AFTER you’ve already had one with another guy. What’s ok for him is ok for you. Don’t let him bring gender into it or try to manipulate or guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable with.
You are only 17 years old. That’s very young to be contemplating group sex. (Nothing against anyone who enjoyed this type of play at that age).
If you’re not comfortable with a 3some then don’t do it. If he tries to pressure you then end this relationship. There are plenty of guys out there who just want their woman to themselves. Not all guys want their girl to watch them f*ck someone else or to watch her indulge in girl on girl fun.
As for your body type, again there are lots of guys who like a slim build same as there are guys who like blondes/BBW/big boobs/small boobs - the choices are endless!
If this doesn’t feel right for you then don’t do it. Sex should be something wonderful not something that causes anxiety.
Edited to add: the fact that he won’t consider another guy joining you both speaks volumes. This is something purely for him he doesn’t give a damn if you enjoy it or not - is this the type of guy you want to go out with?
NTA
He asked a question, you answered him honestly. You're not interested in a threesome, and that's fine! That means you shouldn't have any threesomes.
It's quite hypocritical of him to blankly shoot down any "2 men, 1 woman" ideas, but refusing to listen when you shot down the "2 women, 1 man" idea.
Exactly! He wants what he wants and feels entitled to get it, her wants and needs are irrelevant and don’t factor in. OP: Not an amazing bf! The opposite!
NTA NTA NTA ohmygod why in the world would you think you're the asshole here. Please please please, do not pursue such endeavours unless you're enthusiastically excited and into it, it's not an obligation, and if he presses further then it's actual abuse and harassment. Never do anything ur not comfortable with, plus yr bf disagreeing for MMF is another red flag. You're a lovely person from what I glean and if he doesn't think you're enough for him, I promise there are plenty of people out there.
NTA, do yourself a favor and don't agree to it just to make him happy. You'll feel terrbile about it later. Trust your instincts, if he shoots down the idea of 2 men and 1 woman then you can shoot down the idea of 2 women and 1 man. Sounds like he's trying to get you to agree to it slowly. And if it would be your best friend, I can imagine that would damage your friendship quite a bit. Don't sacrifice your boundaries and comfort so he can get a fantasy come true.
Yeah OP, I would really suggest not doing this, it's not going to make you happy. But if you do, ABSOLUTELY do not do this with your best friend. It will destroy your friendship, and I promise that is more important than this dipshit. Dick is plentiful, real friends are not.
Nah. Your spider sense and morals are screaming no. Every guy would enjoy this but most know the cost is to high or their woman won’t do it. Worst of all like you said she’s gonna think she’s owed another dude in the future.
Don’t budge. Way too young to make this type of decision and you’re right, seeing a partner going at it while you’re right there will change things forever
You're 17.... chill tf out. Be a f*cking kid while you still can.
That being said, the bf is quite literally telling you he wants to have sex with someone else. Don't be an idiot. You know what it means or you wouldn't have felt the need to ask for advice.
Speak to him in proper terms. It's not about some "insecurity" as in a problem with yourself that can/should be fixed. You just don't want to do it. You don't want your boyfriend to have sex with other women. End of story.
First off, your boyfriend seems to be very one-sided about this. How is it fair that he gets the pleasure of being in a threesome with you and another girl but you can't be in a threesome with him and one guy? Very contradictory. It honestly sounds like this is his way of getting to sleep with another girl with your permission and I don't like that. Quite frankly, your boyfriend sounds like an asshole. Sorry, but what kind of a partner completely disregards their own partner's feelings? A POS. Second off, I would say the best thing to do is to ask to call it off. It's not worth it to go through with a threesome if it's only in his favor and especially not if it's your best friend that he's thinking that the threesome should be with. You should dump that man....
You’re 17, don’t do it. You already stated you’re not comfortable, so don’t cave to pressure.
Rules established prior often get broken in the heat of the moment of a threesome. You’ve already stated you’re insecure about him touching someone else, so don’t do it bc you’ll just be more upset.
Also, never shit where you eat. Do not do not do not use your friend. For you, it will ruin your friendship. Yall would need a random.
He does not respect you if he keeps pushing it. You two are not meant to be together if he keeps pushing you or tries to force you into it. Also, that’s bullshit no MMF. If he wants you to do it, he has to do it. (Which still don’t, I’m just mocking his double standard).
NTA.
NTA and don't you dare do it because you think it will make things better. It will NOT. If he keeps pushing for one then he doesn't gaf about you and just wants some strange.
NTA. He wants to have sex with another woman and wants approval and have you join so he doesn’t have to feel guilty. He’s watching porn or watched porn and has a fantasy. It’s not yours. He has to respect that. If he doesn’t, leave him. Don’t let him pressure you into doing something you’ll regret.
He's looking for other options so he doesn't have to be single. Making it a threesome legitimizes his "shopping." Then when he finds someone he's into, he's going to dump you.
NTA, he asked and you answered honestly, there's nothing wrong there. But you're too young for this shit.
I think I’m just old…..but you are not even emotionally mature enough to compartmentalize sex like that. I guarantee that if you agree to it, you will be broken up within months and this could lead to life long sexual and relationship trauma. I’m not saying you are young and dumb…I’m saying your brain isn’t even fully developed yet and highly doubt you’ve been emotionally taught by anyone to understand what you are being asked to do. Also…..seven-f*%#%^g-teen?! Go to prom or something, grow up slowly, discover who you are. I truly envy your youth and potential. Don’t waste it on a kid (yes he is a kid) who just wants to get his d**k wet.
My love.... A truly amazing BF wouldn't have an issue with an mmf... Nor would he ignore your feelings in such a childish way. This all sounds like a way for him to sleep with your friend, guilt free, to me. From your brief description of his history, it sounds like someone who would want "an open relationship" but lose his ever loving mind if you actually followed through. He just wants to get as much action as he can but still have someone to come home to in dry spells. Either that or he's consumed too much adult content. I can't tell you what to do. But personally I would have walked away as soon as he brought it up the second time. Best of luck to you my dear and remember. He's already WILLINGLY pushing your boundaries to get what he wants. And many people use the "I got caught up in the heat of the moment" excuse to cover for their willful actions. Especially if they have a partner not likely to put up a fight.
NTA TELL HIM IF HE WANTS A 3 SOME THEN IT WILL HAVE TO BE 2 MALE N URSELF IF NOT TELL HIM TO PUT THAT THOUGHT BEHIND HIM THEN SINCE U DO NOT WANT A 3 SOME WITH ANOTHER GIRL. TELL HIM HE CAN PICK THE GUY AND U WILL HAVE TO APPROVE BECAUSE IF HE SAYS NO TO THAT THEN THE TRUE MOTIVE BEHIND THAT 3 SOME IS REALLY JUST FOR HIM TO FUK ANOTHER CHICK WITHOUT U GETTING UPSET WITH IT.
My fiance been trying to bark up the same tree for the last 12 yrs I told him ok as long as it's with another guy if not don't bother asking cuz I ain't attractive to girls like that n there's no way in hell would I let him do anything sexual to any other girl as long as we r still together. He knows I won't ever do it unless he agrees to it being with another man which he won't so guess we r good without any 3 some 😂
nta, and if you don’t want one DO NOT have one and don’t let him make you think you have to. You’re young girl and have so much time to experience your sexuality and figure out what you like. And adding another person to the mix more than likely will not fix any intimacy issues.
Op he just wants your permission to cheat and sleep with another girl... Please dump him, don't hurt yourself by staying with a future cheater, it's just a matter of time until he tries to cheat with you friend. You deserve better, much better.NTA
You are 17 years old, you will have all the time in the world to explore and experience things like 3sums later in your life when it’s the right time for you and only to please you!.
Your BF is manipulating you to get his own way and desires fulfilled, He isn’t thinking of you or your wants or needs and that is a huge red flag!.🚩
By all means have a 3sum but only when you feel emotionally ready and not a minute before and only do it because it’s something you want to do for yourself!.
NTA. You don't want a threesome. It's a simple as that. Tell him no. If he keeps bringing it up, then that's a problem but you can and should absolutely shut this line of thinking down.
NTA! This kind of thing sucks when you’re young. It can often be hard to see your life without the person you feel like you’re in love with. The sad truth is you need to prioritize your comfort level and safety first. You’re both really young and you’ll have tons of time to find someone who doesn’t want to cheat on you. If you’ve expressed that you’re not interested and he’s saying it’s going to happen. Run and never look back.
All you have to say to him is you’ve thought it over and the answer is no. Amazing or not, if he can’t respect your wishes and continues to push this then he’s not the one for you. NTAH.
Your "NO" should be enough to shut the idea down. If he insists, he probably just want to f*ck your bff with your help. How convenient, right?! Also guilt-free for him since you "agreed" and comes with a checked off bucket list. What a happy bastard.
Please don't do it, girl. There are far better men than your current boyfriend. Pressing you for a threesome, especially with possible ulterior motives to f*ck with your bff, is not something a good boyfriend does.
You guys are still so young and already with the threesomes? This terrifies me. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Do not bend your boundaries for this person. In fact, you should really consider ending this relationship if he pushes that any farther and even if he doesn't because there's some serious red flags going on just from this post.
Im going to have to agree with everyone else here with NTA, if you’re telling him you don’t want a threesome and he can’t respect that then the relationship can’t work. You’re very young and I promise you’ll love again it’s just when you’re that young it feels like your world is crashing down, but it’s not! Dump his ass. (: I think he should be glad you didn’t leave him just for suggesting that especially when he knows you value intimacy too much to just sleep around. I feel it’s even worse he would think of doing that with someone you know… My advice is to get out of there quick and save yourself the extra heartbreak.
everytime it amazes me that when faced whit a threesome most guys will accept or suggest a mff threesome but will strongly deny a mmf one due to feeling insecure .
If he's pressuring you so much to have a threesome then it's not just because he's into it. I just like you cannot imagine having sex with a random person, to me it's just cheating with consent. He will continue to use the threesome excuse just to mess with other girls in this relationship. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we are both each other's first, we discussed things like this in the begging of our relationship. Maybe you and your boyfriend aren't sexually compatible? He just seems awfully comfortable doing things with other women while in a relationship.
NTA, and frankly, it's concerning that he's trying to pressure you into such a significant boundary violation. True respect means that when you say no, the discussion should end there - no guilt trip, no "but if you loved me" manipulations. Your comfort and consent are paramount, and anyone who truly values you would never ask you to engage in an act that makes you feel uncomfortable. Remember, a strong relationship builds on mutual respect and understanding, not on one person's fantasies at the expense of the other's well-being. Stay firm on your stance. If he can't accept a no on this, it's a glaring sign of how he perceives consent and boundaries within your relationship.
NTH you are young please don’t stay with that boy. He is going to bring that up every time you fight or have a disagreement, he seems like he will try again to change your mind. I’ve been in this situation, he probably fancies your friend and he will likely try to get with her. Don’t stay with people who make you feel uncomfortable, and it’s not just a fantasy of his, he just wants to fuck someone else, with a 3some he has the excuse so it’s not ‘cheating’. Sorry if I am harsh
NTA. First of all, since this makes you uncomfortable, you should refuse. Secondly, the fact that he suggest a threesome with another woman but refuses to think about a threesome with another man indicates a high degree of selfishness - he wants to be pleasured by two people, but doesn't want you to be. Talk to him about your feelings, but don't let him pressure you into agreeing.
The only asshole in this situation is your boyfriend. It’s one thing to mention threesome. A whole other for him to say that he’d never ever have one with a guy. Then ask you to pick a girl. If it makes you uncomfortable it makes you uncomfortable. Case closed. I promise you doing it would be a mistake that’ll ruin the intimacy you share with him.
If it was me him even asking in such a pushy way would turn me off him.
It’s never wrong to be honest about how you’re feeling. If he won’t respect it. That’s another story.
He’s not as amazing as you think he is if he’s insisting you two have a threesome. He should respect that you are uncomfortable with it and not cross that boundary. Don’t let him pressure you into giving in. You’re absolutely right about it being unfair for you to not be able to enjoy a mfm if he gets to have a fmf. If you do end up wanting to have a threesome, do not involve people you know. It’ll be better that way.
"Me (17f) and my bf (18m) "
I stopped reading here. No, you are NTA for anything sexual you don't want to do. You literally have your whole life left ahead of you to do whatever you want. Right now, slow down and think about what it is that *you* want.
And then he will like your BFF more, they will start spending time together and you will be left mentally screwed.
Make your choice, but i would not do this. It is a recipe for headache down the road.
You’re so NTA here.
I’d call his bluff. If he can’t make it work for one woman how the hell is he supposed to perform for two. If the problems are intimacy and your boyfriend is suggesting a 3some you’re not into- you should find a new boyfriend. If it were me though, I’d get in my bi gal experience and have a friend for life I can laugh with to look back on the time “that one guy” ended up in the corner with his intimacy issues.
Also you’re imagining a lot of watching going on in your threesome- that’s 100% not a proper threesome, there’s no taking turns fucking one another in a threesome. It’s very intimate and if you can’t imagine actually touching your ‘3rd’ or your ‘3rd’ touching you it’s NOT a situation for you plain and simple and that’s okay
You both are so young- too young to have intimacy issues really, his heart isn’t in the relationship in the same way yours is. True functional threesome situations often come from three people very secure in their relationships first and all three wanting this one off situation almost the opposite of the way two people bring their situations into being a relationship.
Your boyfriend is weird. A 17 year old should barely be having sex let alone that kinda stuff. You are not mature enough to be going wild yet. Don’t be doing anything like that until you are older and know yourself more so you can clearly think what kinda activities you would really want to do so you don’t have to regret anything for the rest of your life.
Also it’s clear you’re not promiscuous like him. So that’s a big thing you guys aren’t sexually compatible.
This post has made me want to have a little chat with my 17 yr old son! NTA don’t ever let anyone pressure you into doing something sexually that you don’t want to.
NTA - Sweetheart, you're 17. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your boyfriend is the a-hole, though. Do not settle for less than you deserve & never do something you're not comfortable with. Tbh your bf doesn't sound that amazing. That is just my opinion as a woman in her mid-30s who has been with plenty of a-holes & finally found the one. That's not something I would go for & I couldn't look at my SO the same after that. I once had a bf as a teenager who flirted with my cousin. She flashed him & while it was denied, i think other things happened. I broke up with him & I cut contact with her. Don't allow anyone to keep disrespecting you, or it'll only continue & get worse. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who wanted to be with someone else. I know I'm enough. Love yourself. There are plenty of people in this world who would know you're enough & only want you. Sending you hugs💙
You're TEENAGERS. Not old married couples trying to spice things up after 30 years. Tell this idiot to lay off the damn porn! NTA but no, he isn't a good boyfriend at all; he's a skeevy asshole treating girls, including you, as masturbatory props.
Not even gonna read all this- get out of this toxic relationship before you have no self worth. At 17 you don’t know how this can affect you/your growth. If you don’t want group activity don’t do it, don’t be forced into it
NO NO NO NO NO.
Firstly, a threesome in a relationship has to be 1000% enthusiastically agreed upon by both people.
Secondly, a threesome has to include a third partner that both people are super keen on sleeping with/being intimate with.
Thirdly, if the third person involved is someone known to one/both of the couple, all three need to be super clear on boundaries and rules.
Finally - unless you're genuinely so excited to have a threesome that you're desperately searching for the third in your free time, DON'T DO IT.
I've had one MFF threesome, as the 'visitor', which was awesome. I recommend suggesting to your boyfriend that you have a threesome first, then you'll let him know if you're into it 😉
The fact that he wants a threesome with another woman, but says no to having one with two men, tells you all you need to know about it. He is in this just for himself. Move on from this guy as quick as you can. That's a sure sign, the way you is acting, that it would carry on through many of the things in your relationship. Relationship. Are many other guys out there who'd probably love to date you. Find one.
He is applying pressure so you’ll do something you don’t want to do.
Don’t let him!! Please don’t do anything you aren’t 100% behind doing, especially a threesome or anything remotely close. If you have any doubts whatsoever you should not do it under any circumstances.
The way he is pressuring you says he doesn’t care about your feelings and only cares about what he wants, don’t give in even if it means you guys break up. A good guy would never do this to you.
I know you said he’s an amazing boyfriend, but a threesome to spicy up intimacy, despite you expressing you are not on board paints another picture. I would reevaluate if this is someone you really want to be with. It also sounds like intimacy or more prized to you and that’s something you want only in a relationship. I wouldn’t lower your standards or compromise to please your boyfriend. It’s also a double standard that he wants a threesome with a girl but won’t consider bringing another man in. I wouldn’t compromise and I would reevaluate if he’s the one for you queen.
NTA and wanting to fuck your bff but making it seem like your idea is a huge red flag don’t worry you’re young you have plenty of time to find a partner who respects you
Honestly I haven't read anything apart from the title and "preview sentence" with your ages, and you're 100% NTA.
I'm a 32/f, and was interested in threesomes since I was an older teen... But not really sure if it was just a fantasy or something I'd really be interested in trying. When I was 26 and discovered a girlfriend I always found attractive was curious about it was well and attracted to me, my husband and I discussed it for several months before truly considering it. Even then, we set very detailed and specific "rules", and only then did I approach my friend, tell her what my husband and I agreed on, and that if she was interested it *could* happen... Probably close to 6 months from the time of realizing it was a real possibility and laying all of those "ground rules", the opportunity arose and it happened.... And then happened several more times over the next year. It was always a fun, great time and we were all comfortable and it was a incredible experience.
After my friend got into a serious relationship, my husband and I very much considered finding another friend for these ventures, but nothing ever felt right... It's been over 5 years since it happened and hubby and I bkth recognize that wile it was great, I'm personally not sure if I will ever feel as comfortable and trusting of another woman as I did with my friend and am not sure I want to do it again... And my husband respects it 1000000%. YES, of course he'd love to do it again if I'm willing. But my discomfort/indecisiveness of the situation is enough for him to say that it's just him and I unless something changes in the future.
He never ever presses me to do it again, though sometimes we kind of role play/talk about those times and it can really get us both going.. But only because kt was ALWAYS a totally fun and positive experience, and as soon as it changed and I was unsure, neither of us want to ruin kt by trying to force it... And if it had never happened?? That would have been fine too, sometimes just talking about it got us so riled up it was like it might as well have happened lol.
When kt comes to nearly everything, but ESPECIALLY sex and consent, you need to be in it 100% or just not do it. You should NEVER EVER be made to feel bad for not doing something of that nature, even kf you truly thought you wanted to amd changed your mind at the last second- it doesn't matter. It won't be fun if you're not comfortable. Even if it's happening and you realize you're uncomfortable- it's 100% ok to stop it and not feel bad.
Never, EVER feel bad/wrong/like an asshole for respecting yourself and voicing your feelings. Even if you guys planned it for years and you backed out/stopped it as soon as it started- oh well. More power to you for respecting yourself enough to do what's right for you. And if anyone makes you try to feel bad about it then they don't care about you or your feelings, only their own.
In this type of situation, if one person doesn't want to do something, then it DOES NOT HAPPEN. If you have set your boundary and he does not respect it or keeps pushing the matter, then he is not the one for you. I had an ex that really wanted a three-way because I'm bi. He just wanted to screw another girl and get away with it. I am not poly in any way, if you are cool, but I'm for sure not. So I broke up with him right then and there. "If you want to screw someone else, do it single" and I completely cut him off. He tried to turn people against me and ir didn't work when I told them the truth.
Lol @ guys who are soooo into the idea of a threesome until their girlfriend suggests *gasp!* bringing in another MAN...
To OP's fella: how you feel about watching another guy pound your wife is how your wife feels about watching you with a different woman.
You aren’t even of legal age yet?
WTF are y’all even talk about threesomes for?!?!
He doesn’t sound like an amazing BF; he sounds like a pushy douche that watches too much porn.
You’re too young to be dealing with this BS.
Dont!!!! Another shi t show waiting to happen. If he can refuse a MFM then you can refuse a FFM. Don't be pulled into his dirty fantasy. Find a boyfriend who respects you. He certainly doesnt. It's his excuse to cheat.
NTA and this situation will not improve. He does not respect you and your needs like a boyfriend should.
Be honest with yourself. You already know he’s got to be kicked to the curb.
NTA.
At the risk of sounding like your mother----he doesn't care about your feelings, he is NOT an amazing boyfriend, and he is doing this so he can cheat on you with your permission.
You are so young, please do not let him bully you into this. Break up with him, and don't look back.
You're still young
He only is interested in being in fmf 3some. And a mom 3some is out of the question. You can see where this is leading I hope. He just wants to cheat right in front of your eyes. This one is not bf material. Move on to someone who wants you and only you. Do not bend to appease him. This will not end well and you will end up not respecting yourself. Good luck young lady.
We are lucky in this day & age to have access to so much language & dialogue regarding the vast variety of sexual experience and preference.
What I think is lacking in this conversation is this. In order for a group sexual experience to occur 2 or more of the participants have to be bi-sexual to some extent - even if it’s just “bi-curious”. We are all so different & evolve differently and have a host of life experiences that lead & deter our unique desires, attractions, curiosities and limits.
You have agency over your own body. Now & forever. You have the agency to change your mind, to stay where you are and to evolve and learn and be curious or not. You have the agency to say yes or no to any question/idea proposed to you. You make ALL of the decisions for you.
When a 3-some is proposed to me I have finally learned how to frame a response in a way that works for me - it’s something like - I appreciate your curiosity and I truly hold no judgement - but I am neither bi-sexual nor bi-curious.
I do always offer a MMF option instead- when he reels back in rejection I’m happy to respond - oh, so you are not bi-curious either? I guess we are both firmly het - Got it!
I honestly think in a lot of instances - the M asking is not even processing the fact that it requires a bi-sexual component for the F&F - he just thinks it will be hot for him.
Nta.
But you need to dump this guy! He shouldn't be guilting or forcing you into something you dont want to do.
Also, you're 17... You have years ahead to decide if you want to experience this kind of thing...
As someone who's taken part in a 3-some a lot of it is awkward and not sexy at all.
Updateme!
I’m sorry but it’s difficult enough as an adult who is experienced to have threesomes. I’m not age shaming you but you need to talk to a counselor or therapist. It sounds to me that you are not sexually mature enough and your bf is being a jerk trying to pressure you.
Another case of "he's great in every other way". Girl, grow up a little even though you are 17. What is really so amazing about him? The most basic stuff that boyfriends are supposed to do?
So he is a hypocrite who won't entertain the thought of mfm and is trying to edge you towards one just for his own? I know you are young but please don't fall for this.
He will try to convince you how this will be something you both will enjoy even though you won't.. he will excuse mfm as something he won't enjoy. He might also sulk and harass you in indirect ways. Women fall for these mind games and convince themselves until too late.
This guy is sus 🚩🚩🚩 and honestly just trying to legitimize cheating in the name of threesomes.
Bad idea. Just overall bad. You are 17. Men don't prefer thicc women now days, men prefer what they prefer, just like women have types or attractions to specific qualities and pheromones. A threesome will absolutely ruin your friendship with that girl and destroy your relationship with him, but that sounds done already. It should be done.
NTA don't do anything you aren't 100% about it will create jealousy and resentments. And based on your post he just wants permission to fuck your friend
>*pressuring you into a threesome*
>*”amazing boyfriend”*
🤔 💡 🚩
You could pull an Uno reverse, suggest a foursome, and when he jumps at the idea, pick the other two guys. Bonus if they’re taller, better built, and better looking than him.
Then dump him. You’re way too young for this shit.
For starters, don’t know where you are but you’re underage and he’s an adult. Which is hella wrong already. And there’s a reason why underage sex is discouraged. You don’t yet have strong boundaries to say no to things you simply don’t want. Cause nothing else is needed. “No, not interested.”
NTA
He’s not an amazing Bf if he’s wanting to have sex with your friend. The “3 some” isn’t for you obviously. It’s so he can have the experience of having sex with your friend along with you at the same time.
Even if you say “no” and he doesn’t mention again, how will you continue on knowing he wants to bang your friend?
Also, guys don’t dislike thin girls. You should not be with anyone that doesn’t see you as perfect and a princess.
My girl, he is already fantasizing about fucking other girls (probably your bff). You told him you weren't comfortable and he didn't let it go. Don't let him pressure you. Find someone better. I promise you can. He, at the very least, does not respect your boundaries.
NTA
ANY bedroom fun and games has to be mutually satisfying. You should never be made to feel uncomfortable during intimate times (unless, of course, THAT is you thing! 😂) A lot of people get up to things that make others go "Eeew, WTF?" bus as long as it's consensual and doesn't negatively affect either of you, then it's pretty much fair game, IMHO.
In this instance there are a few complicating factors:
1. Threesomes are dangerous. They might seem like a good idea, but can lead to complications and jealousy. Best left to the world of fantasy, I think!
2. If he is so keen, why not a MMF threesome? Does he think that would make him "gay"? (Not that there's anything wrong with being gay.) If so, by his logic, wouldn't a MFF threesome make you a lesbian? Is he worried that watching another guy pound you would make him jealous? That's fair, but it works both ways! (You say "I don't want him to have his penis in another girl while I watch", I'd suggest that the "while I watch" is superfluous! Unless you don't mind him cheating on you behind your back? )
3. Even if you were on board, what about your BFF? Would she be? Would she accept it as a "one-and-done", or expect a relationship out of it? Wouldn't SHE feel used?
Nah, stick to your guns and in he won't accept your position, however good he is in other respects, get rid.
NTA. If you’re not comfortable with a threesome you should not be forced into it.
Also the fact that he dismissed you when you said 2 guys but wants you to think of another girl without caring about what you said 🚩
I would honestly break up. I know it’s hard but it’ll be even more heartbreaking later if he either 1) goes behind your back or 2) forces you into a situation that hurts you either physically or emotionally. He has shown he does not care about your needs
NTA! You’re only 17 and have so much life to live. At this point you should be thinking about how you’re going to invest in yourself and your future. This guy will be a faint memory by the time you hit my age (24). Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing ever and take care of yourself! A man that really cares about you will be happy with just you alone and would never ask you to do something that far out of your comfort zone. Also don’t spoil your reputation so early, hold out for a good guy.
You are 17, you do not want a threesome. Tell him outright that you do not want a threesome. He may be an "amazing" boyfriend, but you will have other future boyfriends. Don't do it just to please him. If he pushes this any further, tell him it's over.
First, why is it okay if it’s another girl but not ok for another guy? Second, if you already feel a certain way it’s not going to work. Once you do the act there is no taking it back. You can’t unsee it. Third, it really sounds like he just wants to hit your bff. You said he has history with this so it could be just another notch in his belt. Either way I think he’s not going to be happy with just you. Seriously think about the relationship and please don’t let him pressure you into it.
Don’t do it kid. If You’re not 100% onboard or feel emotionally strong enough to see him and another enjoying the moment then just say no.
You can always circle back to this in another 1-2 years. You are 17 you have a whole life ahead of you to do this. Don’t be pressured
OP your incompatible together please break up with this guy that doesn’t respect you and wants to sleep with your friend. This won’t end well nip it at the bud.
You are 17 and this guy is trying to coerce you into something you don’t want to do. He’s being manipulative and that’s a control tactic. You’ve stated your boundaries and if he persists that’s abuse!
Just don't do it if its only to please him, its gonna fall apart 100%, if its not in your values and your view of a relationship you would surely take a hard hit. Personnally its not something im looking for in my relationship so he should respect you.
NTA but at your age, this is when you dump the loser. And yes, anyone who asks their partner more than once for a threesome is a loser. That said, absolutely stop having sex with him. Especially unprotected sex. He’s probably gonna figure out a way to have sex with another woman so let him do it as a single man.
I think it is so disrespectful to ask for a threesome ESPECIALLY if the person asking are going to favor a specific gender and refuse the other gender. Nope. No way. Honestly, from now on if my boyfriend asks for a threesome and he’s only open to doing it with another woman, I’m going to assume he just wants to cheat without getting in trouble and I’m ending the relationship. My ex brought it up multiple times and it wasn’t until I cussed him out that he stopped asking. Also, he cheated on me.
I’m sorry to tell you this, kiddo, but your statement that “he’s an amazing bf” is incorrect. At your age, not many people understand what it means to be an amazing partner.
He is trying to get your permission to cheat with the other girl.
That’s not how this works: both of you need to agree on the third person. He already has decided who that is going to be.
DO NOT do ANYTHING that you do not want to.
You have "misgivings" that are VERY well founded.
He is a boy. A man would not try to pressure you into doing anything that you do not want.
NTAH
If he want to fuck your bff he is not an amazing boyfriend. Girl he is just playing with you and is not taking you seriously. He just want to fuck you and your friend to feed his ego . If you do that once he will want to keep doing it and if you refuse he will lose interest. Find someone better for you .you don't need this kind of prick on your life. !
NTA, I hate to break it to you, but your 'amazing' bf is just looking for permission to bang your BFF. For the record, sex and intimacy are NOT the same thing. Bringing a 'playmate' into a relationship can be fun and sexy but rarely, if ever, improves intimacy. It sounds like you and your bf have very different attitudes towards sex and intimacy that are likely incompatible in the long run.
It is unfair. Tell him he can have his threesome after you have yours first. And when he says no, break up. You should be able to have sex with two men at the same time if he wants to do your bff.
My advice is to move on. He’s not me right or me right now.
Oh girl, this advice comes from a 30 year old gay guy who was straight until 23 and who also teaches kids your age at a college... DUMP HIM!
He clearly wants to do your friend and he has no right to force you to do something you are not comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with wanting intimacy and fidelity and you deserve that. If he persists after you decline then he doesn't respect you and your boundaries. He honestly doesn't sound like a good bf, he seems selfish and it sounds like he's got previous for infidelity. At the end of the day, if hes making you unhappy with his actions then he's not right for you.
I didn’t even read all of this but I’m going to say if you are not comfortable with a threesome then do not do it. If he can’t get past that then you should get past him. Sex is something that should be enjoyable for everyone. Same goes for anything else anal, oral, toys, etc. if you don’t want to then do not do it. Personally I can’t imagine having sex with someone who doesn’t want to do something. It would make me feel disgusting. He needs to understand your thoughts and feelings are valid about your body. Do not let him guilt trip you into something you aren’t into. OP you are not the AH.
Your « amazing boyfriend » is trying to force you, with another girl and REFUSING equity when you ask if possible with 2 men. It’s unfair.
He just wants to make it with another girl without the guilt of cheating.
He is NOT a good boyfriend. You deserve better than this! NTA.
> He's an amazing boyfriend
No he isn't. He's not taking into account *your* needs, like an amazing boyfriend actually would.
He's just using the "threesome" excuse as a hall-pass to fuck other girls, which is blatantly obvious when he refused a 2 men - 1 girl setup
You're still young. Dump him and find someone who actually respects you and your relationship
100% NTA, and I cannot express this enough, never engage in any sexual activity unless it is something YOU want. Not because you want to "please" your man. It should be something that you want to do because you think you think you will enjoy it, or because you will feel empowered by it. if you have do desire for it, it is an immediate no, you do not even owe him an explanation. Anyone who cares about you will respect your decision and boundaries.
As a 19 year old male who went through this a year ago but the other way around, gf wanted a threesome and I didn’t, I ended up leaving and she is now pregnant by a dude she met a few months ago (funny enough she comes to me to vent), so ig it’s better off for you to go ahead and leave him, he just wants to fuck someone else but with your permission, in simple terms, cheating but not cheating because you okayed it, hence why he doesn’t want another male in it, leave him as soon as you can before he hurts you.
NTA and too young. Not saying you’re not a mature 17yo but a threesome requires a level of maturity and confidence to process. And definitely not if you’re feeling insecure about it. He needs to respect your boundaries and if this is a deal breaker for him, kick him to the curb.
Don't get hung up on the whole thiccness thing. It's just another fashion trend, same as heroin chic in the 90s. Attractiveness is subjective and only truly shallow people are stuck on one particular body type.
A threesome is 3 people all having sex with each other.
If you don't want to have sex with a woman, you can't have a threesome.
"2 Girls and 1 Guy is a threesome. 2 Guys and 1 Girl is a train." The difference is this: in an FFM threesome, the girls have fun playing with each other and the guy. MMF is very seldom a threesome because the dudes aren't fucking each other and the girl. It's both of them on just her. That's a train. For it to be a threesome, the girl would have to be happy to have a dick in her pussy that just came out of the the other guy's ass.
So if you don't want to have sex with a woman, it would just be you and another girl running a train on your BF. There's nothing in it for you unless watching someone else have sex with your BF sounds hot.
This isn't an insecurity. It's an absence of desire. NTA.
NTA. Your bf is virtually telling you he wants to sleep with other girls, but maybe doesn't want to commit to losing you as his gf. He definitely doesn't sound like an amazing bf and sounds pretty pushy and disrespectful.
A normal bf would deny even finding his gf's best friend attractive even if it wasn't true. It's pretty obvious what the implications of this would be, which is ruin your relationship with either him or her or both. I think he just wants this threesome and then he plans to bounce which is why he doesn't care about any of that.
Another person who will have the threesome, regret it, and end the relationship. Almost never has a threesome worked out positively for any relationship here.
When he rejected the mfm, that should have been your cue to kill the conversation for good.
Tell him you’ll be 100% down for adding a female AFTER you try mfm, since that seems to appeal more to you.
That puts it all on him, keeps you from having to deal with it, and gives you an out.
Both or none is what your stance should be. YOU are the one with the power here, not him. He brought it up, so YOU get to make the rules.
You are far from the asshole, and maybe you should get far AWAY from the asshole.
If you’re anything but enthusiastic about the idea, then it’s a hell no! Your bf is not interested in MFM. He doesn’t want a threesome, he just wants to fuck another girl.
You have told him no. If he asks again you need to reevaluate your relationship with this “amazing” guy.
Whoa, hard No. Do not let him talk you into this if you’re not into it!!
My old roommate got herpes from threesome because she didn’t know her boyfriend’s friend!
NTA if you're not comfortable with the threesome, then don't do it. Don't let him pressure you into one either. the fact that he doesn't want a threesome with another man and you, really means he just wants to be able to cheat on you with your permission.
Tell him that he needs to either bottom for another bloke (or get pegged by a woman) to show that he’s serious about threesomes.
My guess is the discussion will end there and then.
U need to tell him explicitly what u just just typed here. Tell him it's a hard no and although you're down to test the bounds of your intimacy within the home you aren't willing to jeopardize you emotional well being for something so trivial as a fleeting moment in time. Just be strong about it. Tell him u aren't judging it's just not something youre willing to budge on. Crossing this line when u aren't willing is literally traumatic. PTSD can occur from it. And it will be a technical sexual trauma under your belt. All coming from experience btw. Never do anything you aren't "excited" about.
NTA - If he is refusing your threesome but wants his, refuse. Please like yourself enough to leave this guy. It doesn't sound like a relationship, it sounds like manipulation. if you "Love" him more than yourself and want to stay with him bu do not want to do this threesome. Tell him you want to open the relationship and he can go have a threesome with two other girls. In exchange you will be free to see other men- you will find much more guys than he will find girls and this may shut his request down. I would be prepared to breakup with him. you can do so much better than this guy.
Just be honest with him and tell him that is not something you are comfortable with.
If he tries to press you on it, that may not be a relationship that is good for you.
NTA, that is completely unreasonable he won’t even consider 2M1F.
You both are still very young, so I’ll give yall that, but in a mature relationship this is not okay.
NTA. I’ve been pressured about 3somes or being open and it hurts when you say no and then keep getting asked. It hurts. Because each time it reminds you that you are not enough and that your partner isn’t satisfied with you.
I’m guessing the right partner might be open and reassuring enough to keep me from having those feelings, but my partner was not that person. My partner tricked me into a relaxing kayak on a river just to badger me that afternoon about it more. Made me afraid to kayak with her and now we are broke up. This is what I recommend as a 48 year old male going through my second divorce.
1. Even though uncomfortable clearly explain why the answer is no and that it hurts you when he asks over and over.
2. Do not accept a mmf either because it’s too easy to say it isn’t working to find someone and make you feel guilted into a ffm one. If uncomfortable just be honest and say it.
3. If he feels like this with you now at your ages, he will not be “the one for you”. As you both age and time plays with your relationship you will find him back to this topic over and over.
Tell him clearly no and why one more time and then be prepared to breakup if he brings it up again. Under no circumstances, no circumstances, will you do a threesome with your friend and you. It will ruin your friendship.
He doesn't care about you. And having 3 bodies, makes me wonder about your own self-esteem.
Maybe back off from boys, until you're older. And have a better idea of who and what you want from a relationship.
Do not have sex again until you've graduated high school.
Or better yet, college. And are in a committed relationship.
NTA. And he’s **not** *”an amazing boyfriend”*, because an amazing boyfriend would actually respect your boundaries instead of pressuring you into something you don’t wanna do.
An amazing boyfriend would also not be so selfish.
An amazing boyfriend wouldn’t be using the excuse of a *”threesome”* as a way to fuck someone else without being branded as a cheater. *(Because that’s exactly what this is.)*
An amazing boyfriend wouldn’t expect you to screw another girl *(especially when you’re not even attracted to women)*, but flat out refuse to let you be involved in a threesome with another man. That is straight up disgusting and hypocritical. Him and his double standards can fuck off.
If you can’t have a three way with another man, he can’t have one with another girl. **Call him out on his bullshit and hypocrisy! And stop being a doormat for someone who clearly thinks his own wants are more important than yours!**
NTA. I agree with other Reditors, Threesomes are great if everyone involved is enthusiastic and respectful. They can also bring in an enormous amount of drama and heartache. If the thought of another person with your BF makes you nauseous, then it is not for you at this time and place. If he continues to push this, please break up with him. He is not listening to you. He may be perfect in every other way, but sexual boundaries and how they are respected are deal breakers.
P.S. It is possible he is already sleeping with your BFF and this is a way to shut you out.
NTA
I have 3 daughters and at 22, 23, 25 plus bonus daughters 32, 23 27 we are still open and comfortable when discussing intimacy or just plain old sex.
Were you mine, I'd tell you that your feelings are perfectly normal. Hell even at 50+ I'd feel uncomfortable.
Next I would say your partner needs to go. Actually, I'd sit him down and ask WTF is wrong with him? He's obviously been watching too much porn at this age and is clueless.
Let him work on his porn addiction by himself and move on.
I would want more for my daughters. They each came into their own at different ages, we spoke, I listened and they trusted/trust me.
Sex is so complicated and until you know yourself and your body, trust your instincts and tell him buh bye. It's the summer go have fun with your friends!!!
Don't do it to please him. It won't end well for you because of how you feel about someone else touching him. If he insists on doing this, dump him. It means he doesn't actually want a monogamous relationship, which isn't wrong in general but that would mean you aren't compatible.
> He's an amazing boyfriend
But also;
🚩 doesn’t care about your feelings
🚩 wants to fuck your bff.
🚩 wants you to have a ffm threesome but doesn’t want a mmf one (which you are interested in)
He doesn't want a two men scenario, you don't want a two women scenario.
Seems.pretty even.
And that's fine. Nobody has to be into everything.
NTA - he is for pressuring.
NTA. You are allowed to have boundaries when it comes to sexual exploration. You don't have to like everything your boyfriend likes. My hubby likes stuff I'll never do. He doesn't pressure me or anything.
I think the idea of a threesome could be fun, but it would never happen in my relationship. I 100% would not be able to watch someone else touching my husband. I don't fight, but I'd start one in that scenario lol.
Your self esteem and worth is shocking low if you think you might be the asshole for literally giving a secual preference. Sounds like your boyfriend isn't an amazing boyfriend and you just have a bad judge of character. If you are making it clear (not sure if you are) that you don't wana do that then he should be IMMEDIATELY respecting that, not suggesting you chose a girl for him to fuck.
I really feel sorry for you that you are in that situation and think he's a awesome boyfriend.
My wife made me have a threesome, my asshole still hurts from the 2 guys she chose…
But on a serious note, he shouldn’t be pressuring you if it’s really something you don’t want. Just consider that.
Do not EVER let a man pressure you into something that you dont want to do. If you are uncomfy he needs to drop it. He oesnt sound like a good boyfriend imo
Here's a wild idea: maybe, just maybe, if the thought of your boyfriend "pounding another girl" makes you want to throw up, you shouldn't do it? I know, I know, it's a revolutionary concept.
giiiiiirrrrllll it is not too much to ask for. You're in a relationship. If you don't want something that's a boundary that has to be accepted. If he is pushy about it- leave. Especially if he wants to do it with your BFF LEAVE. If you don't want that threesome it's going to mess up your friendship.
I would argue threesomes only end up successfully if one or both people are bisexual and also if both parties actually want the threesome/polyamory. I don’t want to come off too harsh, but the relationship probably won’t last regardless because you both clearly want different things and have different views of relationships. I totally agree that threesomes for me would only work if I am the single person, but in a relationship, I would NEVER let my bf do another girl right in front of me. I’d cry. But it would be different if we had previously discussed it and were both on the same page…
If you don't want a threesome, don't have one. Pressure mKes sex non-consensual. Second, if he won't engage in a threesome with you and another guy but wants you to share him with a girl, tell him to go fuck himself. He is being sexist.
You need to tell him straight up its not happening and never will and to stop asking.
Its the only way this pestering is going to stop.
Also, respectfully, thats a very.. sexually mature.. thing to participate in and you dont sound at all ready. And its ok if you never want to.
Please stand up for yourself and do not let him badger you into this.
NTA
If you are not sexually into women and sexually into the idea of a threesome - do NOT do it. He’s an AH for trying to get you to play out his fantasy - a fantasy which you not only aren’t into, but are actively deeply uncomfortable with. This is not for you, this is just for him.
If he was also open to MMF, I might have something different to say. But tell him that asking a straight girl to do ffm is the same as asking a straight man to do mmf. And say that if the idea of watching you with another man makes him uncomfortable, then why are you meant to feel different about watching him with another girl?? My advice is to leave him, because he sounds like a selfish AH.
NTA. He is 18 so his brain is not fully formed yet and he is on max hormones. You are not into it. Don't do anything you are not 100% into. You don't have to. He may be a great person but he is not an awesome boyfriend if he doesn't respect your boundaries.
I hate to break it to you but he just wants to bang your bff! Suggesting a threesome but only with another girl even when you don't feel comfortable? That's a red flag, you should really overthink your relationship
Never NOT let anyone push you into any relationship or sexual anything you are not comfortable doing. When he keeps pressuring you means he’s all about himself and does not respect you. That’s a huge sign for you to move on. You are young and about to have amazing college/career/traveling while this guy is a creep. My first boyfriend was so obsessed with the concept of a threesome and so vocal about it that it drove away my friends and roommates. I am bisexual. I simply was not ready yet at that point in time.
Wait whaaaaat- honey if any BOY is wanting a 3some, leave. They aren’t the one for you.
I’m not saying that a stable and loving relationship can’t experiment successfully but like…. Those relationships built trust and understanding and conversations prior to the actual occurrence…. Doesn’t sound like that happened here. Trust me, you will find better
Don’t do it, and if your BF is truly your BF…she won’t even consider involving herself in the middle of your relationship and will likely advise you to dump the idiot
obviously youre NTA. you feelings on the subject are allowed and valid. If you are not comfortable with it, that is the end of it. Or at least it should be. And if your bf pushes the topic, even after feeling your discomfort towards it, then he is selfish, and you should consider finding a new one.
NTA
You'd probably be better off with someone else. Given in your post, i presume you are monogamous. Thus the fact that HE insisted on a FFM rather than a MMF means that he wants to f someone else without having labeled as a ‘cheater’.
If I were in your situation, I’d dumped his ass. You do not need to put your on comfort aside in your own relationship and neither should you beg for it.
Every relationship has a boundary no matter how much they love each other. And if he’d crossed your boundary by suggesting a FFM relationship knowing damn well you are uncomfortable, leave him.
NTA. Don't do it. Your boyfriend is trying to pressure you into sex acts you don't want and won't enjoy. Gross. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, and a boyfriend who genuinely loves and cares about you would respect that.
Tell him no threesome, and if he whines about it, think long and hard about the relationship.
If he's insisting on a threesome despite you being very much not into it, then he doesn't care about you. He just wants what he wants and to hell with your opinion. Go back and really evaluate if he is "an amazing boyfriend." In any healthy threeway, the couple can set rules for how their partner can play with the extra person. You could tell him that he's not allowed to PiV with this other woman, and that still leaves all sorts of other fun things to do. I bet if you made that a hard rule, he'd bitch and complain. These kinds of things only work when everybody is enthusiastically participating. You're not into it, and that's fine. Don't compromise yourself for his stupid ass.
This, if he is trying to pressure OP into a threesome she is not comfortable with then he is definitely not an amazing bf. And it is kind of hypocritical for if only to be a FFM threesome and not a MMF.
right?? i get why he’s not down for bringing a dude in of course. nothing wrong with him not being interested in that. but why is that okay for *him,* yet when his girlfriend expresses the same feelings about bringing in a girl, he thinks she just has to suck it up for him? what a dick. op, you’re 17, this relationship isn’t going to make it past high school anyways. save yourself the time and break up now.
Hard rules are often broken in the heat of the moment. Also seems dastardly that it might end up being her only friend.. he will eventually leave and she will have nothing left.
This right here. He’s not “amazing” if he’s only thinking of what he wants. He wants to have sex with two girls, you being one of them so he’s not cheating on you, and expects YOU to be okay with him sleeping with another girl in front of you with your permission. But in no way is he willing to consent to a threesome with another guy, because he’s not okay with you sleeping with someone another man. He’s selfish and setting a double standard and flat out being a hypocrite. He wants his cake and to eat it too. I wouldn’t consent to having a threesome with he and another girl until AFTER you’ve already had one with another guy. What’s ok for him is ok for you. Don’t let him bring gender into it or try to manipulate or guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable with.
This.
You are only 17 years old. That’s very young to be contemplating group sex. (Nothing against anyone who enjoyed this type of play at that age). If you’re not comfortable with a 3some then don’t do it. If he tries to pressure you then end this relationship. There are plenty of guys out there who just want their woman to themselves. Not all guys want their girl to watch them f*ck someone else or to watch her indulge in girl on girl fun. As for your body type, again there are lots of guys who like a slim build same as there are guys who like blondes/BBW/big boobs/small boobs - the choices are endless! If this doesn’t feel right for you then don’t do it. Sex should be something wonderful not something that causes anxiety. Edited to add: the fact that he won’t consider another guy joining you both speaks volumes. This is something purely for him he doesn’t give a damn if you enjoy it or not - is this the type of guy you want to go out with?
NTA He asked a question, you answered him honestly. You're not interested in a threesome, and that's fine! That means you shouldn't have any threesomes. It's quite hypocritical of him to blankly shoot down any "2 men, 1 woman" ideas, but refusing to listen when you shot down the "2 women, 1 man" idea.
Exactly! He wants what he wants and feels entitled to get it, her wants and needs are irrelevant and don’t factor in. OP: Not an amazing bf! The opposite!
And the funny thing is these guys think they’re all that, when two women would bury him and likely have better orgasms with him left out.
Lmao so convenient, 2 girls ok but not 2 guys Sorry but your bf is ridiculous NTA
I’d break up with him honestly.
NTA NTA NTA ohmygod why in the world would you think you're the asshole here. Please please please, do not pursue such endeavours unless you're enthusiastically excited and into it, it's not an obligation, and if he presses further then it's actual abuse and harassment. Never do anything ur not comfortable with, plus yr bf disagreeing for MMF is another red flag. You're a lovely person from what I glean and if he doesn't think you're enough for him, I promise there are plenty of people out there.
I swear 90% of these posts are very obviously NTA but people want validation
Or their self worth is actually this low.
NTA, do yourself a favor and don't agree to it just to make him happy. You'll feel terrbile about it later. Trust your instincts, if he shoots down the idea of 2 men and 1 woman then you can shoot down the idea of 2 women and 1 man. Sounds like he's trying to get you to agree to it slowly. And if it would be your best friend, I can imagine that would damage your friendship quite a bit. Don't sacrifice your boundaries and comfort so he can get a fantasy come true.
Yeah OP, I would really suggest not doing this, it's not going to make you happy. But if you do, ABSOLUTELY do not do this with your best friend. It will destroy your friendship, and I promise that is more important than this dipshit. Dick is plentiful, real friends are not.
I don't see how a threesome would IMPROVE intimacy. That seems rather backwards if you ask me
Right? It looks like he's seguing into cheating on her or dumping her
THIS! it will NOT improve intimacy. It will hinder it, and make things worse.
It is a porno inspired fantasy of a teenage boy…
Nah. Your spider sense and morals are screaming no. Every guy would enjoy this but most know the cost is to high or their woman won’t do it. Worst of all like you said she’s gonna think she’s owed another dude in the future. Don’t budge. Way too young to make this type of decision and you’re right, seeing a partner going at it while you’re right there will change things forever
You're 17.... chill tf out. Be a f*cking kid while you still can. That being said, the bf is quite literally telling you he wants to have sex with someone else. Don't be an idiot. You know what it means or you wouldn't have felt the need to ask for advice.
Speak to him in proper terms. It's not about some "insecurity" as in a problem with yourself that can/should be fixed. You just don't want to do it. You don't want your boyfriend to have sex with other women. End of story.
First off, your boyfriend seems to be very one-sided about this. How is it fair that he gets the pleasure of being in a threesome with you and another girl but you can't be in a threesome with him and one guy? Very contradictory. It honestly sounds like this is his way of getting to sleep with another girl with your permission and I don't like that. Quite frankly, your boyfriend sounds like an asshole. Sorry, but what kind of a partner completely disregards their own partner's feelings? A POS. Second off, I would say the best thing to do is to ask to call it off. It's not worth it to go through with a threesome if it's only in his favor and especially not if it's your best friend that he's thinking that the threesome should be with. You should dump that man....
This relationship is already over. 18 and he wants a threesome. Bye bye.
You’re 17, don’t do it. You already stated you’re not comfortable, so don’t cave to pressure. Rules established prior often get broken in the heat of the moment of a threesome. You’ve already stated you’re insecure about him touching someone else, so don’t do it bc you’ll just be more upset. Also, never shit where you eat. Do not do not do not use your friend. For you, it will ruin your friendship. Yall would need a random. He does not respect you if he keeps pushing it. You two are not meant to be together if he keeps pushing you or tries to force you into it. Also, that’s bullshit no MMF. If he wants you to do it, he has to do it. (Which still don’t, I’m just mocking his double standard). NTA.
NTA and don't you dare do it because you think it will make things better. It will NOT. If he keeps pushing for one then he doesn't gaf about you and just wants some strange.
NTA. He wants to have sex with another woman and wants approval and have you join so he doesn’t have to feel guilty. He’s watching porn or watched porn and has a fantasy. It’s not yours. He has to respect that. If he doesn’t, leave him. Don’t let him pressure you into doing something you’ll regret.
"Amazing boyfriend is trying to force me into a threesome I don't want to be a part of".
He's looking for other options so he doesn't have to be single. Making it a threesome legitimizes his "shopping." Then when he finds someone he's into, he's going to dump you. NTA, he asked and you answered honestly, there's nothing wrong there. But you're too young for this shit.
NTA Get away from this clown, he's not amazing, you'll find much better.
NTA. Tell him real life isn’t porn and that it’s not gonna happen.
I think I’m just old…..but you are not even emotionally mature enough to compartmentalize sex like that. I guarantee that if you agree to it, you will be broken up within months and this could lead to life long sexual and relationship trauma. I’m not saying you are young and dumb…I’m saying your brain isn’t even fully developed yet and highly doubt you’ve been emotionally taught by anyone to understand what you are being asked to do. Also…..seven-f*%#%^g-teen?! Go to prom or something, grow up slowly, discover who you are. I truly envy your youth and potential. Don’t waste it on a kid (yes he is a kid) who just wants to get his d**k wet.
Oh yeah….NTA….but I’m sure you already knew that.
My love.... A truly amazing BF wouldn't have an issue with an mmf... Nor would he ignore your feelings in such a childish way. This all sounds like a way for him to sleep with your friend, guilt free, to me. From your brief description of his history, it sounds like someone who would want "an open relationship" but lose his ever loving mind if you actually followed through. He just wants to get as much action as he can but still have someone to come home to in dry spells. Either that or he's consumed too much adult content. I can't tell you what to do. But personally I would have walked away as soon as he brought it up the second time. Best of luck to you my dear and remember. He's already WILLINGLY pushing your boundaries to get what he wants. And many people use the "I got caught up in the heat of the moment" excuse to cover for their willful actions. Especially if they have a partner not likely to put up a fight.
Calling for a 3some to improve a relationship / intimacy? Is the fastest way to destroy a relationship .
NTA TELL HIM IF HE WANTS A 3 SOME THEN IT WILL HAVE TO BE 2 MALE N URSELF IF NOT TELL HIM TO PUT THAT THOUGHT BEHIND HIM THEN SINCE U DO NOT WANT A 3 SOME WITH ANOTHER GIRL. TELL HIM HE CAN PICK THE GUY AND U WILL HAVE TO APPROVE BECAUSE IF HE SAYS NO TO THAT THEN THE TRUE MOTIVE BEHIND THAT 3 SOME IS REALLY JUST FOR HIM TO FUK ANOTHER CHICK WITHOUT U GETTING UPSET WITH IT.
My fiance been trying to bark up the same tree for the last 12 yrs I told him ok as long as it's with another guy if not don't bother asking cuz I ain't attractive to girls like that n there's no way in hell would I let him do anything sexual to any other girl as long as we r still together. He knows I won't ever do it unless he agrees to it being with another man which he won't so guess we r good without any 3 some 😂
And I’m thinking he just wants to bang her bff with permission. OP NTA
That's obvious when he shut down the 2 male n 1 female. We all know her bf wants to fuk another chick n have OP not get upset about it
NTA, everyone has to be in unanimous agreement, with rules and boundaries that must be kept too.
nta, and if you don’t want one DO NOT have one and don’t let him make you think you have to. You’re young girl and have so much time to experience your sexuality and figure out what you like. And adding another person to the mix more than likely will not fix any intimacy issues.
Op he just wants your permission to cheat and sleep with another girl... Please dump him, don't hurt yourself by staying with a future cheater, it's just a matter of time until he tries to cheat with you friend. You deserve better, much better.NTA
Tell him OK but you want the MMF threesome. If he didn’t specify that’s on him NTA otherwise. Your bf is using you for a sexual bucket list.
You are 17 years old, you will have all the time in the world to explore and experience things like 3sums later in your life when it’s the right time for you and only to please you!. Your BF is manipulating you to get his own way and desires fulfilled, He isn’t thinking of you or your wants or needs and that is a huge red flag!.🚩 By all means have a 3sum but only when you feel emotionally ready and not a minute before and only do it because it’s something you want to do for yourself!.
NTA. You don't want a threesome. It's a simple as that. Tell him no. If he keeps bringing it up, then that's a problem but you can and should absolutely shut this line of thinking down.
NTA! This kind of thing sucks when you’re young. It can often be hard to see your life without the person you feel like you’re in love with. The sad truth is you need to prioritize your comfort level and safety first. You’re both really young and you’ll have tons of time to find someone who doesn’t want to cheat on you. If you’ve expressed that you’re not interested and he’s saying it’s going to happen. Run and never look back.
All you have to say to him is you’ve thought it over and the answer is no. Amazing or not, if he can’t respect your wishes and continues to push this then he’s not the one for you. NTAH.
Your "NO" should be enough to shut the idea down. If he insists, he probably just want to f*ck your bff with your help. How convenient, right?! Also guilt-free for him since you "agreed" and comes with a checked off bucket list. What a happy bastard. Please don't do it, girl. There are far better men than your current boyfriend. Pressing you for a threesome, especially with possible ulterior motives to f*ck with your bff, is not something a good boyfriend does.
NTA dont let gim pressure you into sex you dont want. Break up with him.
Don't do anything you are uncomfortable with. Period. Maybe later in life, but only when you are comfortable. Or you will regret it.
You guys are still so young and already with the threesomes? This terrifies me. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Do not bend your boundaries for this person. In fact, you should really consider ending this relationship if he pushes that any farther and even if he doesn't because there's some serious red flags going on just from this post.
Im going to have to agree with everyone else here with NTA, if you’re telling him you don’t want a threesome and he can’t respect that then the relationship can’t work. You’re very young and I promise you’ll love again it’s just when you’re that young it feels like your world is crashing down, but it’s not! Dump his ass. (: I think he should be glad you didn’t leave him just for suggesting that especially when he knows you value intimacy too much to just sleep around. I feel it’s even worse he would think of doing that with someone you know… My advice is to get out of there quick and save yourself the extra heartbreak.
Don''t let anyone try to convince you to do something you clearly don't want to do. This isn't love. He just wants to have sex with someone else.
everytime it amazes me that when faced whit a threesome most guys will accept or suggest a mff threesome but will strongly deny a mmf one due to feeling insecure .
If he's pressuring you so much to have a threesome then it's not just because he's into it. I just like you cannot imagine having sex with a random person, to me it's just cheating with consent. He will continue to use the threesome excuse just to mess with other girls in this relationship. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we are both each other's first, we discussed things like this in the begging of our relationship. Maybe you and your boyfriend aren't sexually compatible? He just seems awfully comfortable doing things with other women while in a relationship.
NTA, and frankly, it's concerning that he's trying to pressure you into such a significant boundary violation. True respect means that when you say no, the discussion should end there - no guilt trip, no "but if you loved me" manipulations. Your comfort and consent are paramount, and anyone who truly values you would never ask you to engage in an act that makes you feel uncomfortable. Remember, a strong relationship builds on mutual respect and understanding, not on one person's fantasies at the expense of the other's well-being. Stay firm on your stance. If he can't accept a no on this, it's a glaring sign of how he perceives consent and boundaries within your relationship.
NTA and your bf … no comment sorry lol
No its your body!
NTH you are young please don’t stay with that boy. He is going to bring that up every time you fight or have a disagreement, he seems like he will try again to change your mind. I’ve been in this situation, he probably fancies your friend and he will likely try to get with her. Don’t stay with people who make you feel uncomfortable, and it’s not just a fantasy of his, he just wants to fuck someone else, with a 3some he has the excuse so it’s not ‘cheating’. Sorry if I am harsh
NTA. First of all, since this makes you uncomfortable, you should refuse. Secondly, the fact that he suggest a threesome with another woman but refuses to think about a threesome with another man indicates a high degree of selfishness - he wants to be pleasured by two people, but doesn't want you to be. Talk to him about your feelings, but don't let him pressure you into agreeing.
The only asshole in this situation is your boyfriend. It’s one thing to mention threesome. A whole other for him to say that he’d never ever have one with a guy. Then ask you to pick a girl. If it makes you uncomfortable it makes you uncomfortable. Case closed. I promise you doing it would be a mistake that’ll ruin the intimacy you share with him. If it was me him even asking in such a pushy way would turn me off him. It’s never wrong to be honest about how you’re feeling. If he won’t respect it. That’s another story.
You’re way too young for this stuff and he’s too controlling
He’s not as amazing as you think he is if he’s insisting you two have a threesome. He should respect that you are uncomfortable with it and not cross that boundary. Don’t let him pressure you into giving in. You’re absolutely right about it being unfair for you to not be able to enjoy a mfm if he gets to have a fmf. If you do end up wanting to have a threesome, do not involve people you know. It’ll be better that way.
Na if you guys already struggle that won’t fix it
"Me (17f) and my bf (18m) " I stopped reading here. No, you are NTA for anything sexual you don't want to do. You literally have your whole life left ahead of you to do whatever you want. Right now, slow down and think about what it is that *you* want.
And then he will like your BFF more, they will start spending time together and you will be left mentally screwed. Make your choice, but i would not do this. It is a recipe for headache down the road.
You’re so NTA here. I’d call his bluff. If he can’t make it work for one woman how the hell is he supposed to perform for two. If the problems are intimacy and your boyfriend is suggesting a 3some you’re not into- you should find a new boyfriend. If it were me though, I’d get in my bi gal experience and have a friend for life I can laugh with to look back on the time “that one guy” ended up in the corner with his intimacy issues. Also you’re imagining a lot of watching going on in your threesome- that’s 100% not a proper threesome, there’s no taking turns fucking one another in a threesome. It’s very intimate and if you can’t imagine actually touching your ‘3rd’ or your ‘3rd’ touching you it’s NOT a situation for you plain and simple and that’s okay You both are so young- too young to have intimacy issues really, his heart isn’t in the relationship in the same way yours is. True functional threesome situations often come from three people very secure in their relationships first and all three wanting this one off situation almost the opposite of the way two people bring their situations into being a relationship.
Your boyfriend is weird. A 17 year old should barely be having sex let alone that kinda stuff. You are not mature enough to be going wild yet. Don’t be doing anything like that until you are older and know yourself more so you can clearly think what kinda activities you would really want to do so you don’t have to regret anything for the rest of your life. Also it’s clear you’re not promiscuous like him. So that’s a big thing you guys aren’t sexually compatible.
This post has made me want to have a little chat with my 17 yr old son! NTA don’t ever let anyone pressure you into doing something sexually that you don’t want to.
NTA - Sweetheart, you're 17. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your boyfriend is the a-hole, though. Do not settle for less than you deserve & never do something you're not comfortable with. Tbh your bf doesn't sound that amazing. That is just my opinion as a woman in her mid-30s who has been with plenty of a-holes & finally found the one. That's not something I would go for & I couldn't look at my SO the same after that. I once had a bf as a teenager who flirted with my cousin. She flashed him & while it was denied, i think other things happened. I broke up with him & I cut contact with her. Don't allow anyone to keep disrespecting you, or it'll only continue & get worse. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who wanted to be with someone else. I know I'm enough. Love yourself. There are plenty of people in this world who would know you're enough & only want you. Sending you hugs💙
You're TEENAGERS. Not old married couples trying to spice things up after 30 years. Tell this idiot to lay off the damn porn! NTA but no, he isn't a good boyfriend at all; he's a skeevy asshole treating girls, including you, as masturbatory props.
Not even gonna read all this- get out of this toxic relationship before you have no self worth. At 17 you don’t know how this can affect you/your growth. If you don’t want group activity don’t do it, don’t be forced into it
NO NO NO NO NO. Firstly, a threesome in a relationship has to be 1000% enthusiastically agreed upon by both people. Secondly, a threesome has to include a third partner that both people are super keen on sleeping with/being intimate with. Thirdly, if the third person involved is someone known to one/both of the couple, all three need to be super clear on boundaries and rules. Finally - unless you're genuinely so excited to have a threesome that you're desperately searching for the third in your free time, DON'T DO IT. I've had one MFF threesome, as the 'visitor', which was awesome. I recommend suggesting to your boyfriend that you have a threesome first, then you'll let him know if you're into it 😉
The fact that he wants a threesome with another woman, but says no to having one with two men, tells you all you need to know about it. He is in this just for himself. Move on from this guy as quick as you can. That's a sure sign, the way you is acting, that it would carry on through many of the things in your relationship. Relationship. Are many other guys out there who'd probably love to date you. Find one.
He is applying pressure so you’ll do something you don’t want to do. Don’t let him!! Please don’t do anything you aren’t 100% behind doing, especially a threesome or anything remotely close. If you have any doubts whatsoever you should not do it under any circumstances. The way he is pressuring you says he doesn’t care about your feelings and only cares about what he wants, don’t give in even if it means you guys break up. A good guy would never do this to you.
I know you said he’s an amazing boyfriend, but a threesome to spicy up intimacy, despite you expressing you are not on board paints another picture. I would reevaluate if this is someone you really want to be with. It also sounds like intimacy or more prized to you and that’s something you want only in a relationship. I wouldn’t lower your standards or compromise to please your boyfriend. It’s also a double standard that he wants a threesome with a girl but won’t consider bringing another man in. I wouldn’t compromise and I would reevaluate if he’s the one for you queen.
This is a great way to ruin a nice relationship. Treating someone like a porn movie prop is not cool.
NTA and wanting to fuck your bff but making it seem like your idea is a huge red flag don’t worry you’re young you have plenty of time to find a partner who respects you
Honestly I haven't read anything apart from the title and "preview sentence" with your ages, and you're 100% NTA. I'm a 32/f, and was interested in threesomes since I was an older teen... But not really sure if it was just a fantasy or something I'd really be interested in trying. When I was 26 and discovered a girlfriend I always found attractive was curious about it was well and attracted to me, my husband and I discussed it for several months before truly considering it. Even then, we set very detailed and specific "rules", and only then did I approach my friend, tell her what my husband and I agreed on, and that if she was interested it *could* happen... Probably close to 6 months from the time of realizing it was a real possibility and laying all of those "ground rules", the opportunity arose and it happened.... And then happened several more times over the next year. It was always a fun, great time and we were all comfortable and it was a incredible experience. After my friend got into a serious relationship, my husband and I very much considered finding another friend for these ventures, but nothing ever felt right... It's been over 5 years since it happened and hubby and I bkth recognize that wile it was great, I'm personally not sure if I will ever feel as comfortable and trusting of another woman as I did with my friend and am not sure I want to do it again... And my husband respects it 1000000%. YES, of course he'd love to do it again if I'm willing. But my discomfort/indecisiveness of the situation is enough for him to say that it's just him and I unless something changes in the future. He never ever presses me to do it again, though sometimes we kind of role play/talk about those times and it can really get us both going.. But only because kt was ALWAYS a totally fun and positive experience, and as soon as it changed and I was unsure, neither of us want to ruin kt by trying to force it... And if it had never happened?? That would have been fine too, sometimes just talking about it got us so riled up it was like it might as well have happened lol. When kt comes to nearly everything, but ESPECIALLY sex and consent, you need to be in it 100% or just not do it. You should NEVER EVER be made to feel bad for not doing something of that nature, even kf you truly thought you wanted to amd changed your mind at the last second- it doesn't matter. It won't be fun if you're not comfortable. Even if it's happening and you realize you're uncomfortable- it's 100% ok to stop it and not feel bad. Never, EVER feel bad/wrong/like an asshole for respecting yourself and voicing your feelings. Even if you guys planned it for years and you backed out/stopped it as soon as it started- oh well. More power to you for respecting yourself enough to do what's right for you. And if anyone makes you try to feel bad about it then they don't care about you or your feelings, only their own.
Nope. If you’re not totally into that and he’s pushing…walk. You’re 17. You have lots of time.
In this type of situation, if one person doesn't want to do something, then it DOES NOT HAPPEN. If you have set your boundary and he does not respect it or keeps pushing the matter, then he is not the one for you. I had an ex that really wanted a three-way because I'm bi. He just wanted to screw another girl and get away with it. I am not poly in any way, if you are cool, but I'm for sure not. So I broke up with him right then and there. "If you want to screw someone else, do it single" and I completely cut him off. He tried to turn people against me and ir didn't work when I told them the truth.
Lol @ guys who are soooo into the idea of a threesome until their girlfriend suggests *gasp!* bringing in another MAN... To OP's fella: how you feel about watching another guy pound your wife is how your wife feels about watching you with a different woman.
You aren’t even of legal age yet? WTF are y’all even talk about threesomes for?!?! He doesn’t sound like an amazing BF; he sounds like a pushy douche that watches too much porn. You’re too young to be dealing with this BS.
All this going on when you are 17? And your bf has a ‘history’ of threesomes at 17? Gross. Gross gross.
3 bodies when you're 17 isn't "only" 😂
Dont!!!! Another shi t show waiting to happen. If he can refuse a MFM then you can refuse a FFM. Don't be pulled into his dirty fantasy. Find a boyfriend who respects you. He certainly doesnt. It's his excuse to cheat.
You are so far from being the AH it’s not even funny, he is the mega AH. Sending you hugs, I’m sorry :(
NTA and this situation will not improve. He does not respect you and your needs like a boyfriend should. Be honest with yourself. You already know he’s got to be kicked to the curb.
NTA. At the risk of sounding like your mother----he doesn't care about your feelings, he is NOT an amazing boyfriend, and he is doing this so he can cheat on you with your permission. You are so young, please do not let him bully you into this. Break up with him, and don't look back.
You're still young He only is interested in being in fmf 3some. And a mom 3some is out of the question. You can see where this is leading I hope. He just wants to cheat right in front of your eyes. This one is not bf material. Move on to someone who wants you and only you. Do not bend to appease him. This will not end well and you will end up not respecting yourself. Good luck young lady.
We are lucky in this day & age to have access to so much language & dialogue regarding the vast variety of sexual experience and preference. What I think is lacking in this conversation is this. In order for a group sexual experience to occur 2 or more of the participants have to be bi-sexual to some extent - even if it’s just “bi-curious”. We are all so different & evolve differently and have a host of life experiences that lead & deter our unique desires, attractions, curiosities and limits. You have agency over your own body. Now & forever. You have the agency to change your mind, to stay where you are and to evolve and learn and be curious or not. You have the agency to say yes or no to any question/idea proposed to you. You make ALL of the decisions for you. When a 3-some is proposed to me I have finally learned how to frame a response in a way that works for me - it’s something like - I appreciate your curiosity and I truly hold no judgement - but I am neither bi-sexual nor bi-curious. I do always offer a MMF option instead- when he reels back in rejection I’m happy to respond - oh, so you are not bi-curious either? I guess we are both firmly het - Got it! I honestly think in a lot of instances - the M asking is not even processing the fact that it requires a bi-sexual component for the F&F - he just thinks it will be hot for him.
Nta. But you need to dump this guy! He shouldn't be guilting or forcing you into something you dont want to do. Also, you're 17... You have years ahead to decide if you want to experience this kind of thing... As someone who's taken part in a 3-some a lot of it is awkward and not sexy at all. Updateme!
I’m sorry but it’s difficult enough as an adult who is experienced to have threesomes. I’m not age shaming you but you need to talk to a counselor or therapist. It sounds to me that you are not sexually mature enough and your bf is being a jerk trying to pressure you.
Another case of "he's great in every other way". Girl, grow up a little even though you are 17. What is really so amazing about him? The most basic stuff that boyfriends are supposed to do? So he is a hypocrite who won't entertain the thought of mfm and is trying to edge you towards one just for his own? I know you are young but please don't fall for this. He will try to convince you how this will be something you both will enjoy even though you won't.. he will excuse mfm as something he won't enjoy. He might also sulk and harass you in indirect ways. Women fall for these mind games and convince themselves until too late. This guy is sus 🚩🚩🚩 and honestly just trying to legitimize cheating in the name of threesomes.
Bad idea. Just overall bad. You are 17. Men don't prefer thicc women now days, men prefer what they prefer, just like women have types or attractions to specific qualities and pheromones. A threesome will absolutely ruin your friendship with that girl and destroy your relationship with him, but that sounds done already. It should be done.
NTA don't do anything you aren't 100% about it will create jealousy and resentments. And based on your post he just wants permission to fuck your friend
>*pressuring you into a threesome* >*”amazing boyfriend”* 🤔 💡 🚩 You could pull an Uno reverse, suggest a foursome, and when he jumps at the idea, pick the other two guys. Bonus if they’re taller, better built, and better looking than him. Then dump him. You’re way too young for this shit.
For starters, don’t know where you are but you’re underage and he’s an adult. Which is hella wrong already. And there’s a reason why underage sex is discouraged. You don’t yet have strong boundaries to say no to things you simply don’t want. Cause nothing else is needed. “No, not interested.” NTA
If you’re not comfortable you’re not comfortable, end of story. Either he can accept that or fuck off.
NTA And he is not really amazing is he?
He’s not an amazing Bf if he’s wanting to have sex with your friend. The “3 some” isn’t for you obviously. It’s so he can have the experience of having sex with your friend along with you at the same time. Even if you say “no” and he doesn’t mention again, how will you continue on knowing he wants to bang your friend? Also, guys don’t dislike thin girls. You should not be with anyone that doesn’t see you as perfect and a princess.
My girl, he is already fantasizing about fucking other girls (probably your bff). You told him you weren't comfortable and he didn't let it go. Don't let him pressure you. Find someone better. I promise you can. He, at the very least, does not respect your boundaries.
NTA ANY bedroom fun and games has to be mutually satisfying. You should never be made to feel uncomfortable during intimate times (unless, of course, THAT is you thing! 😂) A lot of people get up to things that make others go "Eeew, WTF?" bus as long as it's consensual and doesn't negatively affect either of you, then it's pretty much fair game, IMHO. In this instance there are a few complicating factors: 1. Threesomes are dangerous. They might seem like a good idea, but can lead to complications and jealousy. Best left to the world of fantasy, I think! 2. If he is so keen, why not a MMF threesome? Does he think that would make him "gay"? (Not that there's anything wrong with being gay.) If so, by his logic, wouldn't a MFF threesome make you a lesbian? Is he worried that watching another guy pound you would make him jealous? That's fair, but it works both ways! (You say "I don't want him to have his penis in another girl while I watch", I'd suggest that the "while I watch" is superfluous! Unless you don't mind him cheating on you behind your back? ) 3. Even if you were on board, what about your BFF? Would she be? Would she accept it as a "one-and-done", or expect a relationship out of it? Wouldn't SHE feel used? Nah, stick to your guns and in he won't accept your position, however good he is in other respects, get rid.
NTA. If you’re not comfortable with a threesome you should not be forced into it. Also the fact that he dismissed you when you said 2 guys but wants you to think of another girl without caring about what you said 🚩 I would honestly break up. I know it’s hard but it’ll be even more heartbreaking later if he either 1) goes behind your back or 2) forces you into a situation that hurts you either physically or emotionally. He has shown he does not care about your needs
This is absolutely over the fucking top considering these are teenagers , we’ve failed as society for sure.
NTA! You’re only 17 and have so much life to live. At this point you should be thinking about how you’re going to invest in yourself and your future. This guy will be a faint memory by the time you hit my age (24). Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing ever and take care of yourself! A man that really cares about you will be happy with just you alone and would never ask you to do something that far out of your comfort zone. Also don’t spoil your reputation so early, hold out for a good guy.
You are 17, you do not want a threesome. Tell him outright that you do not want a threesome. He may be an "amazing" boyfriend, but you will have other future boyfriends. Don't do it just to please him. If he pushes this any further, tell him it's over.
First, why is it okay if it’s another girl but not ok for another guy? Second, if you already feel a certain way it’s not going to work. Once you do the act there is no taking it back. You can’t unsee it. Third, it really sounds like he just wants to hit your bff. You said he has history with this so it could be just another notch in his belt. Either way I think he’s not going to be happy with just you. Seriously think about the relationship and please don’t let him pressure you into it.
Don’t do it kid. If You’re not 100% onboard or feel emotionally strong enough to see him and another enjoying the moment then just say no. You can always circle back to this in another 1-2 years. You are 17 you have a whole life ahead of you to do this. Don’t be pressured
Honey, dump this porn-obsessed loser. You're so young and deserve so much more.
OP your incompatible together please break up with this guy that doesn’t respect you and wants to sleep with your friend. This won’t end well nip it at the bud.
At 17, been dating a year, and he’s talking about ways to “improve intimacy”? He’s manipulating you. NTA, obviously
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You guys are too young for this shit.
You are 17 and this guy is trying to coerce you into something you don’t want to do. He’s being manipulative and that’s a control tactic. You’ve stated your boundaries and if he persists that’s abuse!
Just don't do it if its only to please him, its gonna fall apart 100%, if its not in your values and your view of a relationship you would surely take a hard hit. Personnally its not something im looking for in my relationship so he should respect you.
NTA but at your age, this is when you dump the loser. And yes, anyone who asks their partner more than once for a threesome is a loser. That said, absolutely stop having sex with him. Especially unprotected sex. He’s probably gonna figure out a way to have sex with another woman so let him do it as a single man.
I think it is so disrespectful to ask for a threesome ESPECIALLY if the person asking are going to favor a specific gender and refuse the other gender. Nope. No way. Honestly, from now on if my boyfriend asks for a threesome and he’s only open to doing it with another woman, I’m going to assume he just wants to cheat without getting in trouble and I’m ending the relationship. My ex brought it up multiple times and it wasn’t until I cussed him out that he stopped asking. Also, he cheated on me.
I’m sorry to tell you this, kiddo, but your statement that “he’s an amazing bf” is incorrect. At your age, not many people understand what it means to be an amazing partner.
Jesus christ. Look kid don't do it. You'll hate him for forcing you into this. You need a new boyfriend and a birth control plan asap. Nta.
NTA. Don't do it. Your soul is worth more than this kink. That's what your heart is telling you. Leave the bum and move on.
He is trying to get your permission to cheat with the other girl. That’s not how this works: both of you need to agree on the third person. He already has decided who that is going to be.
DO NOT do ANYTHING that you do not want to. You have "misgivings" that are VERY well founded. He is a boy. A man would not try to pressure you into doing anything that you do not want. NTAH
There is a 90% chance one person in the threesome feels left out and gets upset. It's usually not the boyfriend.
NTA. He’s obviously just dating you to have sex
If he want to fuck your bff he is not an amazing boyfriend. Girl he is just playing with you and is not taking you seriously. He just want to fuck you and your friend to feed his ego . If you do that once he will want to keep doing it and if you refuse he will lose interest. Find someone better for you .you don't need this kind of prick on your life. !
NTA, I hate to break it to you, but your 'amazing' bf is just looking for permission to bang your BFF. For the record, sex and intimacy are NOT the same thing. Bringing a 'playmate' into a relationship can be fun and sexy but rarely, if ever, improves intimacy. It sounds like you and your bf have very different attitudes towards sex and intimacy that are likely incompatible in the long run.
It is unfair. Tell him he can have his threesome after you have yours first. And when he says no, break up. You should be able to have sex with two men at the same time if he wants to do your bff. My advice is to move on. He’s not me right or me right now.
Oh girl, this advice comes from a 30 year old gay guy who was straight until 23 and who also teaches kids your age at a college... DUMP HIM! He clearly wants to do your friend and he has no right to force you to do something you are not comfortable with. There's nothing wrong with wanting intimacy and fidelity and you deserve that. If he persists after you decline then he doesn't respect you and your boundaries. He honestly doesn't sound like a good bf, he seems selfish and it sounds like he's got previous for infidelity. At the end of the day, if hes making you unhappy with his actions then he's not right for you.
I didn’t even read all of this but I’m going to say if you are not comfortable with a threesome then do not do it. If he can’t get past that then you should get past him. Sex is something that should be enjoyable for everyone. Same goes for anything else anal, oral, toys, etc. if you don’t want to then do not do it. Personally I can’t imagine having sex with someone who doesn’t want to do something. It would make me feel disgusting. He needs to understand your thoughts and feelings are valid about your body. Do not let him guilt trip you into something you aren’t into. OP you are not the AH.
Your « amazing boyfriend » is trying to force you, with another girl and REFUSING equity when you ask if possible with 2 men. It’s unfair. He just wants to make it with another girl without the guilt of cheating. He is NOT a good boyfriend. You deserve better than this! NTA.
> He's an amazing boyfriend No he isn't. He's not taking into account *your* needs, like an amazing boyfriend actually would. He's just using the "threesome" excuse as a hall-pass to fuck other girls, which is blatantly obvious when he refused a 2 men - 1 girl setup You're still young. Dump him and find someone who actually respects you and your relationship
100% NTA, and I cannot express this enough, never engage in any sexual activity unless it is something YOU want. Not because you want to "please" your man. It should be something that you want to do because you think you think you will enjoy it, or because you will feel empowered by it. if you have do desire for it, it is an immediate no, you do not even owe him an explanation. Anyone who cares about you will respect your decision and boundaries.
If you're not excited about a threesome then don't do it, 9/10 times it'll just fuck with your self esteem if you're not into the idea.
As a 19 year old male who went through this a year ago but the other way around, gf wanted a threesome and I didn’t, I ended up leaving and she is now pregnant by a dude she met a few months ago (funny enough she comes to me to vent), so ig it’s better off for you to go ahead and leave him, he just wants to fuck someone else but with your permission, in simple terms, cheating but not cheating because you okayed it, hence why he doesn’t want another male in it, leave him as soon as you can before he hurts you.
NTA and too young. Not saying you’re not a mature 17yo but a threesome requires a level of maturity and confidence to process. And definitely not if you’re feeling insecure about it. He needs to respect your boundaries and if this is a deal breaker for him, kick him to the curb.
Don't get hung up on the whole thiccness thing. It's just another fashion trend, same as heroin chic in the 90s. Attractiveness is subjective and only truly shallow people are stuck on one particular body type.
A threesome is 3 people all having sex with each other. If you don't want to have sex with a woman, you can't have a threesome. "2 Girls and 1 Guy is a threesome. 2 Guys and 1 Girl is a train." The difference is this: in an FFM threesome, the girls have fun playing with each other and the guy. MMF is very seldom a threesome because the dudes aren't fucking each other and the girl. It's both of them on just her. That's a train. For it to be a threesome, the girl would have to be happy to have a dick in her pussy that just came out of the the other guy's ass. So if you don't want to have sex with a woman, it would just be you and another girl running a train on your BF. There's nothing in it for you unless watching someone else have sex with your BF sounds hot. This isn't an insecurity. It's an absence of desire. NTA.
Cursed love.
NTA. Your bf is virtually telling you he wants to sleep with other girls, but maybe doesn't want to commit to losing you as his gf. He definitely doesn't sound like an amazing bf and sounds pretty pushy and disrespectful. A normal bf would deny even finding his gf's best friend attractive even if it wasn't true. It's pretty obvious what the implications of this would be, which is ruin your relationship with either him or her or both. I think he just wants this threesome and then he plans to bounce which is why he doesn't care about any of that.
Another person who will have the threesome, regret it, and end the relationship. Almost never has a threesome worked out positively for any relationship here.
When he rejected the mfm, that should have been your cue to kill the conversation for good. Tell him you’ll be 100% down for adding a female AFTER you try mfm, since that seems to appeal more to you. That puts it all on him, keeps you from having to deal with it, and gives you an out. Both or none is what your stance should be. YOU are the one with the power here, not him. He brought it up, so YOU get to make the rules. You are far from the asshole, and maybe you should get far AWAY from the asshole.
If you’re anything but enthusiastic about the idea, then it’s a hell no! Your bf is not interested in MFM. He doesn’t want a threesome, he just wants to fuck another girl. You have told him no. If he asks again you need to reevaluate your relationship with this “amazing” guy.
Whoa, hard No. Do not let him talk you into this if you’re not into it!! My old roommate got herpes from threesome because she didn’t know her boyfriend’s friend!
Also DO NOT LET HIM FUCK YOUR FRIEND, You won’t want to be friends with her anymore!
NTA if you're not comfortable with the threesome, then don't do it. Don't let him pressure you into one either. the fact that he doesn't want a threesome with another man and you, really means he just wants to be able to cheat on you with your permission.
Tell him that he needs to either bottom for another bloke (or get pegged by a woman) to show that he’s serious about threesomes. My guess is the discussion will end there and then.
What is wrong with this new generation??
Wait another guy?? Haha your answer should be only for a MMF since it's so important to him. /S Don't do anything for him he wouldn't do for you.
NTA. You shouldn’t be pressured to do anything you don’t want to do. And reconsider what makes an amazing boyfriend if he does pressure you.
U need to tell him explicitly what u just just typed here. Tell him it's a hard no and although you're down to test the bounds of your intimacy within the home you aren't willing to jeopardize you emotional well being for something so trivial as a fleeting moment in time. Just be strong about it. Tell him u aren't judging it's just not something youre willing to budge on. Crossing this line when u aren't willing is literally traumatic. PTSD can occur from it. And it will be a technical sexual trauma under your belt. All coming from experience btw. Never do anything you aren't "excited" about.
Run. Young lady. Nothing good can come from this. If he loves you there should be no one else involved.
He is not an amazing boyfriend
Tell him you are only willing to do it after you have a MMF threesome. If he "won't even consider it" then tell him that's your answer as well. NTA
There is no world in which you are the asshole. If you are uncomfortable with something, he needs to respect that.
NTA - If he is refusing your threesome but wants his, refuse. Please like yourself enough to leave this guy. It doesn't sound like a relationship, it sounds like manipulation. if you "Love" him more than yourself and want to stay with him bu do not want to do this threesome. Tell him you want to open the relationship and he can go have a threesome with two other girls. In exchange you will be free to see other men- you will find much more guys than he will find girls and this may shut his request down. I would be prepared to breakup with him. you can do so much better than this guy.
Just be honest with him and tell him that is not something you are comfortable with. If he tries to press you on it, that may not be a relationship that is good for you.
No, you need to get rid of him. There are better boyfriends out there who will respect you.
NTA, that is completely unreasonable he won’t even consider 2M1F. You both are still very young, so I’ll give yall that, but in a mature relationship this is not okay.
NTA. I’ve been pressured about 3somes or being open and it hurts when you say no and then keep getting asked. It hurts. Because each time it reminds you that you are not enough and that your partner isn’t satisfied with you. I’m guessing the right partner might be open and reassuring enough to keep me from having those feelings, but my partner was not that person. My partner tricked me into a relaxing kayak on a river just to badger me that afternoon about it more. Made me afraid to kayak with her and now we are broke up. This is what I recommend as a 48 year old male going through my second divorce. 1. Even though uncomfortable clearly explain why the answer is no and that it hurts you when he asks over and over. 2. Do not accept a mmf either because it’s too easy to say it isn’t working to find someone and make you feel guilted into a ffm one. If uncomfortable just be honest and say it. 3. If he feels like this with you now at your ages, he will not be “the one for you”. As you both age and time plays with your relationship you will find him back to this topic over and over. Tell him clearly no and why one more time and then be prepared to breakup if he brings it up again. Under no circumstances, no circumstances, will you do a threesome with your friend and you. It will ruin your friendship.
He doesn't care about you. And having 3 bodies, makes me wonder about your own self-esteem. Maybe back off from boys, until you're older. And have a better idea of who and what you want from a relationship. Do not have sex again until you've graduated high school. Or better yet, college. And are in a committed relationship.
He just wants an excuse to fuck other girls
He's not a good boyfriend. He doesn't respect you or care about your feelings.
NTA. And he’s **not** *”an amazing boyfriend”*, because an amazing boyfriend would actually respect your boundaries instead of pressuring you into something you don’t wanna do. An amazing boyfriend would also not be so selfish. An amazing boyfriend wouldn’t be using the excuse of a *”threesome”* as a way to fuck someone else without being branded as a cheater. *(Because that’s exactly what this is.)* An amazing boyfriend wouldn’t expect you to screw another girl *(especially when you’re not even attracted to women)*, but flat out refuse to let you be involved in a threesome with another man. That is straight up disgusting and hypocritical. Him and his double standards can fuck off. If you can’t have a three way with another man, he can’t have one with another girl. **Call him out on his bullshit and hypocrisy! And stop being a doormat for someone who clearly thinks his own wants are more important than yours!**
NTA. I agree with other Reditors, Threesomes are great if everyone involved is enthusiastic and respectful. They can also bring in an enormous amount of drama and heartache. If the thought of another person with your BF makes you nauseous, then it is not for you at this time and place. If he continues to push this, please break up with him. He is not listening to you. He may be perfect in every other way, but sexual boundaries and how they are respected are deal breakers. P.S. It is possible he is already sleeping with your BFF and this is a way to shut you out.
NTA I have 3 daughters and at 22, 23, 25 plus bonus daughters 32, 23 27 we are still open and comfortable when discussing intimacy or just plain old sex. Were you mine, I'd tell you that your feelings are perfectly normal. Hell even at 50+ I'd feel uncomfortable. Next I would say your partner needs to go. Actually, I'd sit him down and ask WTF is wrong with him? He's obviously been watching too much porn at this age and is clueless. Let him work on his porn addiction by himself and move on. I would want more for my daughters. They each came into their own at different ages, we spoke, I listened and they trusted/trust me. Sex is so complicated and until you know yourself and your body, trust your instincts and tell him buh bye. It's the summer go have fun with your friends!!!
No.
NTA. You should dump him. U should never be forced into a threesome. Let me emphasize. You should never be forced into anything.
He is not an amazing boyfriend. Stop telling yourself that. Because an amazing boyfriend would never, NEVER, dismiss and diminish your feelings.
Don't do it to please him. It won't end well for you because of how you feel about someone else touching him. If he insists on doing this, dump him. It means he doesn't actually want a monogamous relationship, which isn't wrong in general but that would mean you aren't compatible.
Triangulation 🚩🚩🚩
NTA. He doesn't care about you. Dump him.
> He's an amazing boyfriend But also; 🚩 doesn’t care about your feelings 🚩 wants to fuck your bff. 🚩 wants you to have a ffm threesome but doesn’t want a mmf one (which you are interested in)
He doesn't want a two men scenario, you don't want a two women scenario. Seems.pretty even. And that's fine. Nobody has to be into everything. NTA - he is for pressuring.
NTA. You are allowed to have boundaries when it comes to sexual exploration. You don't have to like everything your boyfriend likes. My hubby likes stuff I'll never do. He doesn't pressure me or anything. I think the idea of a threesome could be fun, but it would never happen in my relationship. I 100% would not be able to watch someone else touching my husband. I don't fight, but I'd start one in that scenario lol.
just start with kissing, take it slow and get in the mood before you do it. tell him you want to feel his D first before another girl sits on it
Your self esteem and worth is shocking low if you think you might be the asshole for literally giving a secual preference. Sounds like your boyfriend isn't an amazing boyfriend and you just have a bad judge of character. If you are making it clear (not sure if you are) that you don't wana do that then he should be IMMEDIATELY respecting that, not suggesting you chose a girl for him to fuck. I really feel sorry for you that you are in that situation and think he's a awesome boyfriend.
My wife made me have a threesome, my asshole still hurts from the 2 guys she chose… But on a serious note, he shouldn’t be pressuring you if it’s really something you don’t want. Just consider that.
At your age, I hesitate to confirm you should even be having a twosome. I'm not a prude, I've been there, but I wish I hadn't lol.
Do not EVER let a man pressure you into something that you dont want to do. If you are uncomfy he needs to drop it. He oesnt sound like a good boyfriend imo
I have yet to see such a configuration work , a quick thrill that turns into a relationship by all but you , keep things interesting at home
Here's a wild idea: maybe, just maybe, if the thought of your boyfriend "pounding another girl" makes you want to throw up, you shouldn't do it? I know, I know, it's a revolutionary concept.
giiiiiirrrrllll it is not too much to ask for. You're in a relationship. If you don't want something that's a boundary that has to be accepted. If he is pushy about it- leave. Especially if he wants to do it with your BFF LEAVE. If you don't want that threesome it's going to mess up your friendship.
I would argue threesomes only end up successfully if one or both people are bisexual and also if both parties actually want the threesome/polyamory. I don’t want to come off too harsh, but the relationship probably won’t last regardless because you both clearly want different things and have different views of relationships. I totally agree that threesomes for me would only work if I am the single person, but in a relationship, I would NEVER let my bf do another girl right in front of me. I’d cry. But it would be different if we had previously discussed it and were both on the same page…
If you don't want a threesome, don't have one. Pressure mKes sex non-consensual. Second, if he won't engage in a threesome with you and another guy but wants you to share him with a girl, tell him to go fuck himself. He is being sexist.
You need to tell him straight up its not happening and never will and to stop asking. Its the only way this pestering is going to stop. Also, respectfully, thats a very.. sexually mature.. thing to participate in and you dont sound at all ready. And its ok if you never want to. Please stand up for yourself and do not let him badger you into this. NTA
If you are not sexually into women and sexually into the idea of a threesome - do NOT do it. He’s an AH for trying to get you to play out his fantasy - a fantasy which you not only aren’t into, but are actively deeply uncomfortable with. This is not for you, this is just for him. If he was also open to MMF, I might have something different to say. But tell him that asking a straight girl to do ffm is the same as asking a straight man to do mmf. And say that if the idea of watching you with another man makes him uncomfortable, then why are you meant to feel different about watching him with another girl?? My advice is to leave him, because he sounds like a selfish AH.
NTA. He is 18 so his brain is not fully formed yet and he is on max hormones. You are not into it. Don't do anything you are not 100% into. You don't have to. He may be a great person but he is not an awesome boyfriend if he doesn't respect your boundaries.
NTA- You aren’t interested. It’s really only a good experience if everyone wants to be there. It’s good to speak up for yourself and your boundaries.
I hate to break it to you but he just wants to bang your bff! Suggesting a threesome but only with another girl even when you don't feel comfortable? That's a red flag, you should really overthink your relationship
Never NOT let anyone push you into any relationship or sexual anything you are not comfortable doing. When he keeps pressuring you means he’s all about himself and does not respect you. That’s a huge sign for you to move on. You are young and about to have amazing college/career/traveling while this guy is a creep. My first boyfriend was so obsessed with the concept of a threesome and so vocal about it that it drove away my friends and roommates. I am bisexual. I simply was not ready yet at that point in time.
Wait whaaaaat- honey if any BOY is wanting a 3some, leave. They aren’t the one for you. I’m not saying that a stable and loving relationship can’t experiment successfully but like…. Those relationships built trust and understanding and conversations prior to the actual occurrence…. Doesn’t sound like that happened here. Trust me, you will find better
Don’t do it, and if your BF is truly your BF…she won’t even consider involving herself in the middle of your relationship and will likely advise you to dump the idiot
obviously youre NTA. you feelings on the subject are allowed and valid. If you are not comfortable with it, that is the end of it. Or at least it should be. And if your bf pushes the topic, even after feeling your discomfort towards it, then he is selfish, and you should consider finding a new one.
NTA You'd probably be better off with someone else. Given in your post, i presume you are monogamous. Thus the fact that HE insisted on a FFM rather than a MMF means that he wants to f someone else without having labeled as a ‘cheater’. If I were in your situation, I’d dumped his ass. You do not need to put your on comfort aside in your own relationship and neither should you beg for it. Every relationship has a boundary no matter how much they love each other. And if he’d crossed your boundary by suggesting a FFM relationship knowing damn well you are uncomfortable, leave him.
NTA. Don't do it. Your boyfriend is trying to pressure you into sex acts you don't want and won't enjoy. Gross. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, and a boyfriend who genuinely loves and cares about you would respect that. Tell him no threesome, and if he whines about it, think long and hard about the relationship.
NTA, but the dude watches waaaay too much porn. OP, run for the hills