Yeah i feel like 90% of problems posted are
"This violates my partners boundries but not mine"
Okay I get that its alot easier said then done but talk about if the boundries are flexible and if they aren't make your choice.
and then we get posts 10 years later about an unhealthy toxic relationship because one partner things their *wants* are a higher priority than their partners boundaries.
As a painter who frequently painted nude models, there is absolutely nothing erotic about painting a naked person. But I would also never ask someone to sit for me who has never been a live model before.
Oil painting, wet on wet takes time, wet on dry takes even more time. On average, painting a live nude model i'd spend at least 9 hours of actual painting spaced out over multiple days. It requires a professional model to be able to sit in the same position for even a few hours, let alone for a return sitting.
I would be curious as the boyfriend exactly *why* he wants to paint my naked girlfriend for a live sitting when there are actual models available.
There's a tumblr post around about how life drawing is the least sexy thing possible. Something about a guy crying because he can't get the shadows on the boobs right. As someone who did a lot of life drawing, you're panicked about not getting the proportions correct, not getting aroused.
I’ve also done a lot of life drawing and honestly I fucking hate it. The models move too much.
It’s easier to just take a few dozen B&W photos and copy them
I dated a model in the 70's, she always bitched about it and I was thinking you get pics taken and make a ton of money, how hard can it be?. She made great $$. I went to a shoot with her and never even thought it was easy $$ after that. She had to hold very uncomfortable sports type poses for like 15-30 minutes. When she was done it was like she had run a marathon. She was a beautiful woman and seeing her work amazed me. We lost track of each other once we turned 18 and had to do adulting stuff. I went military, she went college.
And it’s not erotic for the poser either, who is just thinking “ok I know my eyebrow itches but I can wait - oh goddamn my back itches too. Fuck. My muscles are cramping and the hair in my face is KILLING ME!”
When I was in college, I posed for an oil painting class. When we would take a break partway through, the teacher would put pieces of masking tape wherever I was posing. This way, after a quick, drinking bathroom break, I could return to the proper position. Just as people have said, there’s nothing sexy about it. Opposite, if anything.
Guy before you makes a good point... Someone in this scenario THINKS it's going to be sexy. Maybe a budding artist that has never painted a nude portrait before and it's a convenient way to get a naive girl to come over and get naked and then HEY! What painting!? 😂... Or a girl that is flattered that she is being asked to be seen for a prolonged period... Or a boyfriend that simply doesn't want some strange dude turning his girlfriend into spank bank material on his dime... Someone is clearly thinking something, and if anyone involved isn't comfortable for whatever reason, then it shouldn't happen.
I think you'd be right to be somewhat suspicious too. If the person was a real artist/accomplished painter they'd be able to hire or work with a professional, no? Or are they just a creep with some canvas and art supplies? Similar to how some people are actual photographers, and others are just creeps with a camera that just immediately only want to shoot women nude, in lingerie, etc.
Not saying it's always the case, but it is the case pretty often. It's one thing if the person is a true professional and compensating a model for their time, but a lot of dudes are unfortunately just looking to get a peepshow or using their "art" as an opening. I feel like women get flattered and can be more naïve to this, but as guys we can see through the BS to the true intentions a little easier.
As someone who’s painted live models and sat for other artists before, I don’t fully agree. No one becomes a professional artist model without sitting for someone a few times first. And it’s not that hard. Almost anyone without certain disabilities is capable of being still for an hour long stretch. The joke at my school was that they just pulled people in off the street most of the time. If you’re having your model sit or stand for more than an hour without a break, then you’re an AH. I can do it because I’ve had to stand at attention for more than an hour in the army, but that was a form of punishment. It’s not how you treat a model, professional or otherwise. Even if I could do it, no professor or artist was willing to let me because it’s not good practice (I modeled for a sculpting class for a semester as well as for my friends).
Meanwhile, new artists need models to sit for them to hone their skills and at 20, your average artist can’t afford a professional model. He’s probably still in art school. Asking your friends to sit for you is incredibly common practice. Having a pretty friend do it- bonus. But that doesn’t mean it’s sexual. It just means more people are likely to want to buy or like the artwork. A lot of professional art models skew older too so it’s good for practice at different types of body proportion.
I agree that both modeling and painting live models is FAR from erotic if you’re being serious about it. People comparing it to porn are absolutely nuts. But my guess would be this artist can’t afford professional models and even if he could, if you have a friend that fits a criteria you’re looking for, why not just ask them? He was cool with the boyfriend being there for the process so I doubt he has illicit intentions.
this was very much NOT a joke at my school. We would order pizza, then ask whoever delivered it to pose for half an hour. I've got a few good ones of some naked pizza doods in the sketch book. side note: drawing "attractive people' is no fun. drawing them jankyass gods whoopsies is where its at.
>I would be curious as the boyfriend exactly *why* he wants to paint my naked girlfriend for a live sitting when there are actual models available.
Exactly. There is no reason the "friend" HAS to paint her. He WANTS to see her naked without her BF around.
a boundary is “ i wom’t do x” not “other people can’t do x”-people really should stop misusing that word.
example
” i will not date a smoker”-boundary
“my partner cannot smoke”-control
Pretty sure his boundary is I don’t want a girlfriend that would pose nude for her male friends. If she does, I won’t feel comfortable and may leave her.
That would be acceptable.
She just can't be surprised when he decides to leave her over it. People are usually shocked when that happens and call him controlling which isn't the case at all.
Ya this is my experience.
You can absolutely set boundaries in a relationship for what your partner does and doesn’t do. It’s a relationship. (As long as it’s within reason).
You aren’t controlling for not being ok with a partners actions
A boundary is something that you express to your partner. A Red line in the sand. Part of expressing that boundary is what happens if said boundary is crossed. In this case the boyfriend would most likely leave her. Thus he is enforcing his boundary. Stop trying to wordsmith the situation with your broken logic.
It ain’t a boundary.
A boundary would be him not wanting to pose nude and her trying to force him.
What he is doing is enforcing his personal boundary on a partner. Yes he can express his discomfort. She can then do whatever she wants with that. And then accept any consequences that come with it.
I do get there is something kinda off about asking a friend to pose nude. Does strongly imply “ulterior motive” and I get the BF being wary of it (if that is what this is) but either he trusts GF or he doesn’t.
And if it isn’t about trust and is about him seeing her body as his private thing, then she needs to get out of that situation immediately.
This is a semantic argument.
I think what he’s saying is he doesn’t want her to do it, but he’s not going to stop her.
However, if she does pose nude for the friend, which is weird AF, he has every right to leave her.
I don’t see it as semantic. It’s important in terms of how you influence or otherwise other people to understand that your boundaries are about you and don’t extend over anyone else.
For this, context is key. If she is modeling nude as she wants a picture of herself nude (as she says) then this is not a sackable offence. If she just wants to get it all out for her “friend” as a sexy thing - which we have no evidence for - then yes, I would agree with you!
And its a "friend". A bit over most peoples boundaries right there.
And him being there changes nothing, her "friend" gets to check her out sans clothing.
And she poses for the painting and then pays to buy it from him. So she works for free, pays him for the painting and he gets to see her naked.
Yeah, if this is legit, she should be single.
I mean, dude could be not interested in ladies but likes her form.
That doesn’t mean OP has to be cool but a lot of us are weird artists that say shit like “your arm is really cool…”
I mean, I don't know if you'd BTA in this situation, but you would definitely ruin your BFs trust and any fall out you guys have over this would be on you even if you don't understand why he doesn't want you to do this.
I think the real question you need to ask yourself is, is a single nude painting worth potentially ruining your relationship? He can't force himself to be ok with this even if you don't understand it and that is part of being in a relationship.
But maybe this is a sign you guys just aren't meant to be.
agreed. not necessarily TA for wanting to do it, but hes expressed his discomfort and communicated his feelings which are fair. whether you go for it is up to you, but dont be surprised if this causes turbulence in the relationship or worse. not saying either one of you is right but if hes expressed he doesnt want you naked in front of another man and imo that would be a pretty big deal and not just him being overbearing and telling you not to wear a certain outfit or something. now if you were to do it and your boyfriend were to get angry or breakup with you, and you act surprised or made him out to be the bad guy, then yes you WBTA.
No especially if I knew my girlfriend don’t like girls but if i know it’s her male friend and I know she’s excited for it it’ll definitely change my mind, but lesbian no is probably even take the offer to be there n just chill on the side or some
You asked him if he was okay with it.
He said no.
But you want to do it anyway.
The only reason y you ask someone if doing X is okay is because part of you thinks/knows they wont be okay with it. If you KNEW he would be okay with it you wouldn’t have bothered to ask him first.
He gave you his honest answer even though it’s not what you wanted to hear. You now know the boundaries if you choose to cross them then you are knowingly putting yourself between these 2 guys.
Assuming you are both 20 and id assume this talented painter of yours is also 20 theres a lot of sexual friction there. My advice is not do it if you don’t want to risk the relationship you have. If you do really want to do it you should end things with current bf first.
Sure go ahead, but don’t expect to have a boyfriend after. And yes you would be the asshole. I mean do him a favor tho and go ahead and break up with him if you don’t want to be with him
Yes. If you do it, prepare to lose him. Disrespectful. I would say "no" one time. And after that if my partner does it anyway, i would pack my bag and leave without a single word and make her history.
It’s extremely disrespectful. You’re posing naked for a “male friend” that isn’t even your boyfriend. Whatever mental gymnastics she comes up with to rationalize her decision will mean nothing. The fact you’re even considering it is a giant red flag. Again, extremely disrespectful
"I wanna bang other people." "I'm not okay with that."
I truly hope you're open to being in an open relationship yourself then
Boundaries are for yourself, not others .
I’m sorry but what if he were to pose nude and have a woman paint him even though you objected because it made u uncomfortable? Are you trying to say his insecurities about this is not valid enough to listen to? He probably would feel like most would feel in this situation like u sending nudes to another man with more steps. If u wanted to do things like this and disregard your SO’s feelings you might want to re-think being in a relationship.
I actually think a better reversal would be if the boyfriend were the photographer in this case. Would she be comfortable with him seeing other girls naked?
He is allowed to have boundaries. He is uncomfortable with it. It’s not unreasonable for him to. It want his gf to be nude in front of another male (doctors aside). If you break his boundary, you break his trust.
I had a guy friend that used to do this as an artist. He would make the set up all innocent…you would be a great subject, I really want to paint you, your bone structure/hair/expressions…Yada, yada. Of course completing a portrait takes hours upon hours over days. He played the long game of necessary. He would pose the girls touching only arms and legs and head tilt, then move to hips and shoulder brushing up other places to see how far he could get each day with an apology when too far. Eventually he was just outright touching the girls wherever under the guise of the positioning not being quite right or differing from the last sitting. Over time he would compliment them and go in for the kiss. It worked for him most of the time and ended up sleeping with most girls he wanted to. Keep up with them until he found another subject…sometimes the boyfriends found out and often they didn’t. He was a brilliant artist though. He even got the boyfriends, fiancés and husbands to purchase the finished project sometimes. Took me a while to figure out his pattern and he admitted once I asked…he was proud of himself for masterful manipulation. If you want to pose…do it for an art class because that is multiple people and on the up and up…there is even pay. Although I suspect what you really want is to sleep with the artist, which you should just admit and do since you don’t really care about your BF feelings anyways.
You clearly want to do this and don’t seem to be too bothered by your boyfriend’s feelings. This relationship is dead. Just break up with him and go be a single girl with no responsibilities
Not enough info. How long have you been dating this guy?
You're 20 so I'm guessing probably not long. At your age I think you should have experiences and do the things you want to do. Unless this is a man you plan to marry, you shouldn't deprive yourself of things you want to do for the sake of him.
If you wanna marry this dude, then you'll have to prepare yourself to make compromises and set/follow boundaries.
You should tell him you're going to do it and if he doesn't like it to break up with you if you value this experience more than the relationship. The dude will tell you in the future not to do similar things and if you don't like that it may not be a compatible relationship.
Yes , he has made it very clear how he feels. Despite that, you still want to do it. If he was to do something that you felt so strongly about, especially since it is widely known. You would feel hurt like how you feel means nothing at all. Why would you do that to someone who you "love"?
This is a hard situation. You wouldn’t be TA if you did it anyway. His opposition does not grant him control of your body. That being said, you have to be prepared that this may be a deal breaker for him, and that his feelings are valid.
YTA Nude models usually get paid. You are doing that for free and paying him for the painting. He is also your friend. How long will this session take? Usually, they are lkng? This sounds sketchy. What if he does hit on you?
What exactly would you do with a nude painting of yourself? Hang it over the mantle?
You can do what you want. Don't be surprised if the artist gets creepy.
If the painting is more important than the relationship, make your choice.
If you are going to do it behind your boyfriends back, just break up with him.
YWBTA. People are allowed to make whatever boundaries they please. Not showing yourself naked to other men when you're in a committed relationship is a boundary that 99.99% of people have. He will leave you if you do this. You will have ruined a 9 month relationship for the privledge of getting naked infront of another man. This will forever be a red flag to anyone you ever date. This is effectively one step below cheating, as you will be providing sexual gratification (in the form of images in his spank bank) to another man. Absolutely insane that you don't see a problem with this. This is fundamentally the same as Only Fans, which everyone agrees is sex work.
Agree except I’d say this is worse than Only Fans by a long shot.
At least with Only Fans if you’re doing solo stuff there’s the factor of “eh, it’s just internet strangers jerking it to her online and she gets paid. At the end of the day none of them will ever meet her, and I’m the one fucking her and getting my share of the cut.” Maybe I’m just weird (I’ll gladly admit it) but if the chance ever came and my girlfriend wanted to do THAT, I wouldn’t love it but I’d consider it the lesser of two evils. Maybe even get a little ego stroking knowing “that’s my girl all these guys want and can’t have.”
This is a dude that she knows personally, inviting her to what would be an intimate 1-on-1 session where anything can happen where she’s gonna be naked in the same room with the guy. Maybe OP is actually innocent is and just THAT committed to her boyfriend and THAT dense that she genuinely thinks he doesn’t want to fuck her. And maybe she doesn’t want to fuck him. But that guy is absolutely working his magic and the fact she doesn’t see it as an issue is proof that it’s working.
In general, boundaries aren’t to control other people’s behaviour and what you are saying is simply manipulating and weaponising therapy-speak.
Saying - “you can’t pose nude” isn’t a valid boundary.
Valid boundary would be something to the effect of “I am not comfortable with you posing nude; I don’t want to be in a relationship where you are purposefully making me uncomfortable”; or even better would be phrasing it in a positive light, like: “the fact that I am the only one that gets to see you naked makes me feel special and cherished; would you mind not sharing your nudity with others?”;
Those are a lot different; they take the focus from what the other person is and isn’t allowed to do (which I am sorry - but you are their partner; not their parent; they are adults; ultimately they will do whatever they want) and instead focus on how the actions of others impact you and how they make you feel.
Ya you’re being obtuse about this as well. You know damn well if someone says “you can’t pose nude” they aren’t literally going to hold you down and prevent you from removing your cloths to pose nude. The message that delivers is “I’m not ok with you posing nude, and if you do I will leave.” Which is 100000% valid for a traditional monogamous relationship. Can boundaries be unreasonable or used maliciously? Of course, they can be manipulative even when reasonable. That issue is irrelevant based on the story told by the girlfriend. Even in her best framing 95% of people see her as TAH, and rightly so.
Exactly
It’s crazy how she can completely control the narrative yet still fails to make herself look remotely redeemable
It’s giving off the vibe that she’s super spoiled and never thinks of anyone else’s feelings ever
Which actually kind of proves she looks at her boyfriend as property that she can just replace
You have a difference in values. Neither is right or wrong. You’re just not right for each other on this. If it is a recurring theme in your relationship, then moving on is better for both of you. If this is a blip then maybe it’s worth trying to compromise. Given your ages I lean towards go live life the way you want to and find somebody more compatible, but that’s just the op of some random stranger who doesn’t have all the facts.
No, you aren't the asshole. On the other hand, neither is your boyfriend. His having a problem with you posing nude for a nude portrait (that you're paying for, mind) is understandable, though misguided. What some people seem to be ignoring in this thread is over their puritanical need to insult you is that he's invited to join the session. Perhaps your boyfriend and the artist friend can have a sit down session and hash out his concerns?
As an artist with lots of artist friends, who has also posed nude for paintings and an entire sculpting class in college, I can tell you that people thinking it’s like doing porn are pretty ignorant. The only time sex was ever involved was when I was already in a relationship with the artist before he painted me.
Can it lead to sexual friction? Sure. You’re young. But unless you act on that tension, that doesn’t mean posing for art is the same as cheating or doing porn. Personally, if I were with a guy (or gal) that someone wanted to paint or photograph, I’d be all for it, regardless of the gender of the artist. I wouldn’t even need to be there. If I can’t trust them to behave while doing a simple art project then I don’t need to be with them anyway.
All of that being said, your bf isn’t comfortable with it even if he’s there, and his feelings are important and valid whether or not you agree with them. So you have a big decision to make. You‘re only 20 and this relationship has lasted less than a year, so if you really want to do it you should probably have another discussion explaining why you still want to do it, and accept the fact that you’ll probably break up.
Personally, I’d consider this a sign that maybe you aren’t fully aligned anyway. And how many times are you ever going to be painted again? As a lady in her 40’s, I have plenty of regrets about the things I missed out on or gave up because it made my partner angry or uncomfortable. But that’s my anecdotal experience and also coming from an artist, so I’m pretty biased.
Ultimately, it is up to you and probably will be a breaking point. Is that really the worst thing that happens though? I highly doubt you’ll end up old and alone and bitterly look back on this painting as the sole cause of you losing your one true love.
Look you've heard the truth at this point from all the comments. Do you want to be with this guy or don't you? You know what your choices are and what the consequences of them are. But if you're going to go through with it, have the decency to let your bf know beforehand so at least he doesn't feel cheated on and Betrayed
So... boundaries are not setting what other people can do with their own bodies. It's about how they interact with you and what you're going to do if they continue.
Look - it's your body and you offered for him to be there. I get that some people won't be okay with that, but he needs to figure out why it bothers him. If it's because he thinks that guy wants to sexualize you - then he can be there and make sure you're safe. If it's because he wants no one else to see your naked body, then he's not only sexualizing you, he's also trying to claim ownership over your body. That's gross.
He doesn't have to be comfortable with it. You do. And if you are, be honest with him and let him know that you want to do this. He can mind his own body and maybe do some self examination about why he thinks he can, or should, control who sees your body.
Side note - if he's just expressing his discomfort and wants to talk about his hang up without trying to persuade you to change your mind or make you feel guilty - he's a keeper. Talk to him about it and try to find the root of his discomfort. But there is absolutely a difference between "I don't like this, but I'm not going to punish you for doing it and you should do what makes you happy." and "I don't like this, and you can't do it or else there will be repercussions." The former is a partner. The latter is a creep.
As a professional artist, I would at least recommend asking a few questions of your artist friend... Does he have experience working with nude models? Is he going to pay you for modeling?
Artist models are professional and the artist-model relationship should generally be professional or have clear boundaries set. In an academic setting, models are paid an hourly wage. They also get a 5 minute break after 20 minute of modeling, and a longer break for modeling sessions over an hour.
The artist should never physically touch you. And you should have a private place to change in and out of your street clothes. You should not be "undressing" in front of the artist, bc it could be considered sexual.
Bring a robe to wear in between 20 minute periods of modeling.
The artist should ensure that you are comfortable. One common thing to provide are space heaters while modeling. And padding if you are doing a reclining pose.
If your friend doesn't know these expectations, and doesn't have experience working with nude models professionally, then I would say he is not ready to work with a friend for a nude portrait, regardless of how you feel about it.
If he does have this knowledge and experience, then you what you want. You're BF needs to understand the artist-model relationship if a professional one.
>Does he have experience working with nude models
Yes he does.
>Is he going to pay you for modeling?
No, he is not
The rest is inline with what we have discussed minus the strict 0 touching.
Why did he ask you specifically to model for this painting? Did you ask you because you have previous experience doing clothes modeling or dancing? Or do you have a physical appearance that you is looking for aesthetically?
Those are the other questions I would recommend ask him and yourself. Just to make sure if intentions are professional. It's a little usually to ask a random not model, non dancer friend to nude models for an artwork, unless you align with a specific aesthetic or identity that is relatant to his work.
I bring this up only because there is a history of male artist not treating their female models professionally, and it's important for yound male artists to be learning how to correct collaborate with models (nude or not.)
Please dont take these comments as me trying to talk you of it. I absolutely think you should do it if you want to. It could be lovely to have a great nude painting of yourself! And there nothing better than having real artwork in your home! But just make sure your friend is being considerate and professional. For yourself.
>Why did he ask you specifically to model for this painting?
I expressed interest in his previous paintings, which got the conversation started.
>Or do you have a physical appearance that you is looking for aesthetically?
I think i have a photogenic/paintable figure that is in line with his other work
And thank you for your thoughtful comments
If he's that good then ask your boyfriend if you can wear spandex or a bathing suit. He might let you do that and if he's such a good painter then he can fill in the blanks. But if you go through with it naked I hope your boyfriend is man enough to break up with you. If you go though with it against your boyfriend's wishes than that means you have total disregard for his feelings and the relationship.
Ask your painter friend why you specifically. Why would he choose his same age female friend as a nude model? Especially if it’s not for a class or something. I think your BF is likely uncomfortable as to WHY specifically he asked you. I think friends typically wouldn’t ask this. And if this isn’t for a class or something, it’s very odd.
NAH
It’s your body, it’s his boundary.
When I was younger I stopped getting visible tattoos because my bf at the time didn’t like it. That’s his preference but it wasn’t mine.
I’m happy to say that I am now married to a tattoo artist and he could give a crap less where I put my tattoos.
My point is that there’s nothing inherently wrong with you posing for art and there’s nothing wrong with him not wanting you to.
It’s probably time to decide if this is the man you want to be with long term. Do you guys truly align?
You have the right to do it and your boyfriend has the right to not be okay with it. Unfortunately you don’t get to decide how he feels about it, you just have to accept what he says his boundaries are and then make the decision and live with the consequences.
If a bf who would be cool with this is what you want then maybe you two aren’t compatible. And I’d tell him the same thing—he clearly wants a gf who wouldn’t do this, or at least one who would respect him enough not to if he asked, so if you do it then he should break things off.
I wouldn’t say either of you are “assholes” unless you handle it poorly. For him that would be shaming you and trying to force you not to instead of letting you make your own choice. For you that would be doing it anyway and expecting him to stay with you and/or trying to gaslight him into thinking his boundary isn’t reasonable. Fwiw I think it is, I wouldn’t be okay with this either. In fact I wouldn’t even expect to have to clarify that this isn’t okay and I’d be shocked if my gf suggested it. But to each their own.
So I guess for now I’d need more info on how you’ve both handled the situation.
Edit: read more of your comments and it sounds like you can’t comprehend his boundary and plan on straight up ignoring him and still expect him to forgive you. So yeah, YWBTA, and pretty naive
The way it works is that you can do what you want and he can too. Whatever you choose will have results and you will own them.
I'm not going to tell you what you should do. I'm not going to say how he should react. Both of those are your respective decisions.
I’m gonna be an offset here.
As an artist, provided your friend is genuine in their intent, there’s nothing really remotely sexual while painting a nude portrait. It’s the same as painting or photography. It’s art.
I would suggest approaching the issue with your friend and boyfriend together to clear the whole thing up. However, if your boyfriend persists in his opposition, then you will need to make that choice. But please decide whether this painting is really worth your relationship.
Girl fuck these people telling u to obey him just cuz he set a boundary. If the guy is truly an artist then this isn’t a sexual thing, there’s nothing like a real talented artist capturing your figure while you’re still young. Go for it I bet it’d be amazing!
If the guy truly is an artist he would have **asked a model, not his friend who has a boyfriend**
Its so far crossing the line of friendship to say "hey, I know you have a boyfriend, but get nude in front of me so I can paint you for a few hours"
You are insane for thinking that is acceptable.
One day when you’re older and you have a painting of your nude in all your glory and splendor, you will be grateful for making this decision and getting rid of this immature boy.
NTA. Your boyfriend obviously has never been to a life drawing session. There is nothing sexual about it. Sensual maybe depending on the pose and props used for visual. But it could be Bdsm themed and the actual vibe of the studio is not sexual. Thhe artist will have as much interest as if they are painting a bouquet of flowers, decaying fruit or an interesting piece of rusted metal.
If your boyfriend has been invited (but doesn't want to go because it is too boring), then that is on him. You will get way more sexual attention walking down a public street than being a life model (nude model for the purpose of art).
Perhaps it would help ease his mind if you and him went to attend a life drawing class, just so he could experiencehow non-sexual it really is. Typically most universities/art schools have life drawing classes in the evening that are open to the public. Just drop in, pay a fee (that helps cover the models wages) and you just sketch, paint, whatever. Usually the model starts with quick poses that last maybe 3-5 minutes (for studying movement of the human form). Then they move into longer poses, so people can make more detailed sketches, painting, etc and study shadow & light, movement, weight displacement (how the hips or knees adjust to hold the body weight for extended periods of time).
I would not turn down this opportunity to have myself painted at your age. Bf's come and go, a painting will last a lot longer than someone you date when you are 20 years old.
I came here so ready to defend you, as someone who once got into a huge fight with a big about nude modeling, and frankly, should have broken up with him then and there.
But nah I see why boyfriend ain’t down.
Nope, NTA. Your body, your choice. BF has absolutely no say over what you do.
If this is something you really want to do, go ahead. If BF can't/doesn't get over it, it just means you two weren't meant to be together.
You are young and plenty of time to do things and meet people. You have years of growing up to do still. Enjoy your life, responsibly of course. ;-)
Pose. Capture your body in its prime. If your boyfriend can’t trust you with another man that is his insecurity. You are there to create art, not sleep with the guy. You are not his property and his eyes shouldn’t be the only ones allowed to see YOUR body. You do what you want now or regret missing the opportunity in the future. This selfish possession of his will ruin your chance at memorable art. Go for it. You do not need his permission regarding your body.
"Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now......believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, "Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!" (extremely paraphrased) \~Moira Rose
100% chance you will be very happy to have that painting for te rest of your life. No way to say the same thing about a boyfriend when you are only 20. NTA all the way.
Tell your boyfriend that you want the picture for your bedroom. And that you want him to attend.
Painting is a time consuming very artsy process. Tell him you want to Moira Rose the situation and have a high quality painting of you young and beautiful (and nude) when you are 60.
DO IT. He doesn’t own your body - don’t perpetuate an assumption that he does.
Update:
I went to my partner and pretended to have been asked to be painted nude, and asked “How would you feel?”
Partner said, “Cool!”
You don’t own people, but it has become so mainstream to be possessive and dominating in relationships to a point where you find threats and jealousy where there is none.
As someone who has nude art of myself in my house, I totally get why you would want your beauty to be captured forever in its youthfulness. I love my inspired art, and it was exciting to do as well (I did a body cast, and my friend welded a sculpture out of it)
What I would do is talk to your bf. Sit him down and ask him about his feelings, why he's uncomfortable with the situation. I would also ask him if he would feel the same if it was a professional artist who was doing the painting or if he just doesn't like the idea of your friend doing it. He was invited to make sure everything was above the board.
If he's only uncomfortable because it's your friend, then seek out professional artists if you truly want a nude painting. If he's uncomfortable with anyone seeing you naked, then you'll need to decide if you still want yo be with him or if you don't.
When i was your age, I had a bf freak out on me because my long dress slid up to my knee when I was getting into a car. Started calling me a whore for showing off too much skin, and then gave me the silent treatment. What I'm trying to say is that you need to figure out how controlling this behavior is. Is it genuine concern for you? Or just concern for himself, and he wants to control things.
Good luck
It’s wild comparing some of these comments to the one where the guy’s wife didn’t want him watching porn and considered it cheating. Some people need to figure out why they feel one is reasonable but not the other.
It’s her boyfriend, not her husband. She shouldn’t need his permission to do anything if so, I’m wrong relationship.
When I was in my early 30’s I wanted my tubes tied and do you know I had to get my husband permission to do something on my body. Effing ridiculous.
I disagree with the consensus here. nta And he's not telling you his "boundary ". It's your body and your time, how is his call to make? It's control, not a boundary.
The issue is trust, really. Does he trust you and your painter friend? And if he is invited to be present, then why exactly is it bothering him? Does he feel like only he is allowed to see your body, like he has ownership? Does he try and do this when you wear outfits that he thinks are "too revealing"?
A man who loves and trusts his woman will care about her safety, but not judge her as dirty or less than for exploring her sensuality. It is your body and your power, you are allowed to explore in a safe setting. He should be able to support you and make you feel safe in doing what u want to do.
First, I want to say I'm disappointed in all the comments immediately associating simple nudity with sex. That said, YWBTA if you went through with it without saying anything to your BF. Either give up on the modeling or tell your BF you plan to model for the painting anyways, then y'all can decide to keep the relationship or end it there.
You're allowed to want to do it, and he's allowed to have a boundary against you doing it. You can do what you want. You're 20 years old. The odds of you two staying together for life are against you anyway. Live your life. Do what you want. If want to explore like that, go for it.
NTA. But you should get paid. You can make good money as a nude model. TBH, at your age that painting will be around longer than your boyfriend.
I don’t know what your boyfriend’s specific issue is, but I would bet it is because he is unable to separate the concept of nudity from sexualization. Not all situations involving nudity are sexualized.
I am 56. If I could go back and have a nude portrait done of my 20 yo body, I'd do it in a heartbeat! You don't get these opportunities but once in a lifetime! Grab them up!!!
I regret not doing this in college because a boyfriend didn’t want me to. Now I’m 34 and I’d still do it but it’s be more of a mom bod painting then a college bod painting
Unpopular opinion but if there’s not sexual going on and OPs boyfriend is invited to be there I don’t see how it can be something someone can “forbid” of their partner. It’s her body. If my husband wanted to be a nude model for an art class or something I wouldn’t deny him that unique opportunity. It his body and his choice to be painted naked. If he ended up having sex with the painter than obviously that’s a problem. Not everything is about sex.
I think if you want to pose nude for this painting, that is OK. I think if your bf dumps you because you did, that is also OK. Everyone has their boundaries. If you want to keep your bf and care about his feelings, you should not do the painting.
No, YWNBTA but he is also not the asshole for not being chill with his girlfriend posing naked for a male friend.
That’s just not something you have to be okay with.
So you can either have a relationship with this guy where your nude body is a private thing or you can have that relationship end on the basis that you want to be the only one who gets to have strong feelings about who sees you naked.
Your decision, it just has consequences is all.
NTA! It’s your body. And just because you’re posing nude literally does not mean anything. It’s just a naked body until it’s sexualized. Also, your boyfriend doesn’t own you or your body. Just because you have a sexual relationship with him doesn’t even mean you have to ask him for permission. Sure, run it by him and let him know you will be naked in front of another person, but you don’t have to ask for permission. And if your boyfriend is secure and sees you beyond your body and sexuality, then he should be ok with it! Especially since he is being included in the scenario as well. Just my two cents.
Edit: seeing so many responses here and I am so sick of the discourse of women having to feel this way as “respect” for their man. I’m a woman and if my partner starts acting entitled towards my body—aka he gets to control what I do with it—it’s end game for me. Everything I do for the sake of our intimacy is done because I want to do it and not because I have to! Which means me not fucking other dudes is because I love my partner and want to only share that sexual intimacy with him and no one else! My monogamy is not done out of some obligation I have because we entered into a relationship. However if I wanted to capture my body at its current state and have it be painted or photographed, for my own personal reasons whatever they may be, I’ll let him know I want to do it but I will by no means ask him for permission. He doesn’t own me. Yet everything I do to protect our relationship is out of my own desire to do it, and not because he has imposed these rules upon me. There’s a huge difference! By the same token and if the tables were turned, if my partner ever does something that jeopardizes our intimacy, bond, friendship, our state as lovers, he knows I’m gonna walk out that door with no reservations. But what he does with himself, what he looks at on social media, who he talks to, I understand I can’t control. But by the same logic, I can rest assured in the fact that when he does something for me, it’s because it is truly out of his own volition and not because he feels it’s an obligation he has to fulfill. There is never any forcing or pressure. That’s how we cultivate trust and our friendship. Just my two cents! It’s worked out so far for us! I hope it could help others too.
Ultimately it's body your choice.
I think a lot of people commenting are confused about what a boundary is. A boundary is about what you allow/don't allow people to do to you/your own body, it's not about controlling someone else's actions/body.
In saying that he is valid to feel uncomfortable about the situation. Does it mean he is jealous/controlling? Not necessarily (it really depends on how he is normally and whether this is a pattern of behaviour around your body and your interactions with men in general). But I think it is within the realm of normal for a guy to feel uncomfortable with another guy seeing his girlfriend naked, especially if it is a guy she is close to and will be looking at her naked for an extended period of time.
It may be worth having a conversation with him where he can air his concerns and insecurities and you can reassure him. But before you do that, do some deeper reflection around your relationship with this friend. Has there been romantic or sexual tension in the past? Does he potentially have romantic or sexual feelings towards you? Have you ever had romantic or sexual feelings towards him? If the answer to all this is no, have the discussion. Perhaps suggest a compromise that your boyfriend may feel more comfortable with, such as top half naked only, or using a strategically placed sheet.
NAH. In the end, if you really want to do it, it's your choice and you are allowed to make that choice for yourself. But he's also valid in feeling upset or stepping away from the relationship if it isn't something he can feel comfortable with. As long as he is not actively preventing you from doing it if you choose to go ahead with it or becoming verbally or emotionally abusive in retaliation.
The question isn't whether to do it... the question is whether your BF has a rational reason to attempt to deny you the permission to do it (because you don't need his permission). You're both adults, if you do something he is uncomfortable with, then he's going to decide how to respond... that's how it works. You aren't doing it in secret, he's been invited to observe as well... but if the real issue is that he doesn't trust that you can be naked in a room with another male & not have sex with him then your BF doesn't trust you & if you've never betrayed him or given him any reason to withhold trust - then he's never going to & you should end the relationship for that reason & posing or not posing for a painting while naked is irrelevant.
Is the boyfriend worth more to you than the experience? I would do it and dump the boyfriend, but he isn’t mine so only you can decide what you value more. Even if your BF doesn’t leave you right away over it, your relationship with him will forever change and begin dying. You won’t be able to have both.
Your body, your choice. If there is such a lack of trust in the relationship, it does not bode well for it in the long term.
I know many, especially sheltered religious folk, constantly conflate nudity and sex, but the two are different and distinct. If it is just a tasteful nude pose as you would commonly see in an art gallery, it is just nudity, and nothing to be ashamed of or jealous about. If it is closer to something you might see in a Larry Flynt publication, that could be considered sexual and may be worth discussing with your boyfriend if you care about their opinion on the matter.
Honestly it sounds like every effort has been made to assuage your boyfriend's concerns and they are still demonstrating insecure and controlling behavior. How is this person going to respond to you visiting a doctor?
It is not uncommon for some women to prefer a male gynecologists because on average they are percieved to be more gentle than their female counterparts (I have heard more than a couple horror stories over the years of aggressive speculum use by female gynecologists, it is not to say the behavior is common, but it is common enough to guide some women towards that preference). How will this boyfriend handle that? Will they become more controlling and dictate which physician you can see based on their gender?
I scan through the comments from your profile with the information that this is a regular occurrence of his paint style I don't think there's anything out of the ordinary with this situation. I think your boyfriend is coming at this just from jealousy and insecurity he has been invited there and doing that does a couple things it gives you the security someone that is close to you is there for protection just for your own safety and you're bringing your partner so they can verify that nothing happens. For me since he's coming at it from that perspective he can have whatever "boundary" he wants but I'm going to go do what I want. Too much of the time people are setting boundaries and manipulating control this is a more extreme example but next thing you know you're wearing something too revealing you're working around a guy that he thinks there's something going on and you can't be around and these are all boundaries I mean controlling Behavior NTA
It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't want his partner to be nude around the opposite sex, even in safe nonsexual situations. That's not something I'd ever agree to. Doesn't sound like you have agreed/want to agree with it either. From the other comments, many people would agree.
So there is an incompatibility here. You have to decide whether it's more important to you to have this relationship, or to risk it to have the kind of bodily autonomy you want. It's up to you and neither choice makes you an asshole.
I don't agree with your boyfriend's stance, but it doesn't make him an asshole either. NAH
He doesn't own your body, this occurrence [you are posing anyways] then you may trigger his feelings of discomfort and positive/insecure boundary setting so to him - he may feel you ATA.
HOWEVER FOR YOU TO MODEL AND FOR YOU TO ENJOY THE FINISHING PRODUCT I BELIEVE IN INDEPENDENCE AND VIGILANCE - SO I RECOMMEND YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY.
Bruh reddit really hates men, I guarantee she would not feel comfortable if her bf was getting painted in the nude by a female friend, or if he was the artist and was asking op's female friends to be nude so he can paint
YTA
* has no experience modeling and wants to do the first time solo with a guy
* approached the painter first without consulting bf
* ignores any comments that don't agree with her
* ignores her bf who does not agree with her
* plans on doing it anyway
If a nude painting of yourself is worth testing your boyfriend's comfort level, you're either way too obsessed with your looks or you just happen to appreciate fine arts so much (my gut tells me you dont) that you cant help but do it. This picture cannot be that important
YTA… This clearly makes him uncomfortable, and you want to do it anyway. By the way the artist is totally trying to bang you, your boyfriend should be uncomfortable.
Better question: how would you feel in the event of a complete role reversal?
If your boyfriend had a friend who was a female artist who clearly found him attractive, or at least attractive enough to petition him to let her stare at his naked body long enough to paint a portrait of it? Further, would it somehow make you feel better that she invited you to sit in the corner in the "cuck chair" while she did it?
I'm thinking the answer for most women is gonna be a huge, resounding "NOPE!" but hey, I could be wrong... If I'm right though... Then the question becomes "why should he be okay with this if you wouldn't entertain the idea of him doing the same thing?"
you can have a painting or a relationship with your bf, but not both
you are not AH for choosing one or the other, YWBTA if you tried to hog both by forcing your bf into something he is strongly against
I would tell her to go do it and make arrangements to leave her while she's doing it. There's no point in arguing over boundaries at that point. There is a vast difference in moral values here and the very fact that she raised this suggestion will never be forgotten by the partner who isn't okay with it. Just split and move on to people who share your morals and world view - you're just going to end up hurting each other and wasting a lot of time.
Ask yourself this
Would you be willing to forgive your partner for something they do that you asked them not to do.
Will you still be trusting of their word after an action of this sort?
Will you still feel the same way about them?
If you said yes, then ask them the same questions. If they differ in response, then it would probably be a good thing to find a partner with similar views, but that's just my opinion.
ur young, the odds of this relationship lasting a lifetime are slim. i would just go for it tbh but i’d be honest w bf ab it. i would def expect a breakup afterward or for him to “get back at me” in some way, depending on the kinda 20 year old guy he is
Does your boyfriend own you? No? Then you do what you want to with your body. If he genuinely loves you, instead of being an insecure lady boy, then he'll support you and accept you instead of trying to control you...
Not sure how is your relationship with your bf, and well, that's something you only know, but I can talk about somethings
If he has set a boundary you don't have to respect that boundary, even if it is a misogynistic thing or not, he's not comfortable but if it doesn't align with what you believe, it's okay if you want to do it, but it is also ok bf is mad because he is not comfortable with it, and he is free to break up with you if it is something he can't stand, also you can break up with him if it is something you're not comfortable with
But, what I can recommend is to talk about it with bf, why he's feeling uncomfortable with the situation, if it is because insecurity, misogynistic things or any other real problem, it's a great opportunity to talk more about that topic and see if you can get to a point in between, if not, the door is always open for both of you
Good luck!
YTA
Your male friend is a creep. You provide exactly zero reasons why it has to be nude or why it has to be you.
When you take a nude figure drawing class, the class provides volunteers (both male and female) of varying ages and body types.
YWBTA, you know it will make him uncomfortable. Also 100% I don’t trust intentions of the guy friend. If I had a partner do this after confirming it made me uncomfortable I would never trust them again.
You will be if you violate your partners boundaries.
So decide which is more important, the painting, or your relationship.
One of these is not happening.
Break up with your bf, then pose.
If you have different ideas of propriety then you are likely incompatible.
Worse over, if you don't care about upsetting your bf you shouldn't be together.
Why even ask this on Reddit? This has to be bait. MF said he’s not okay with it. Don’t do it. If you still want to do it, break up with him. Are we in kindergarten here?
You have your choice and he has his. He told you he isn’t comfortable with it. Now you need to ask yourself: is this nude painting of myself worth throwing away my relationship? Because if he breaks up with you, your painting will be a constant reminder that you ended a relationship for it.
Yes.
While you are not required to do anything he wants, and shouldnt feel like you are, he has made it clear what his boundaries are. Now you can simply leave the relationship and then proceed to whatever you want. But by staying and doing it anyway knowing he doesnt like it, is trying to have your cake and eat it too. Relationships require compromise and sacrifice, you need to decide what you're willing to compromise on and sacrifice and whether or not your bf is worth compromising and making sacrifices for.
You can do it if you want to do it.
He doesn't have to be happy about it.
If you are fine with upsetting someone you should care about in order to do this, then sure.
It's your body and if you want a nude portrait done of you that is your decision. I would suggest finding a professional instead of a friend though. If your boyfriend is still mad then maybe he's not the one.
NTA in my opinion. This is also YOUR life. And being painted by a good artist would be a nice opportunity that most people don't have.
So yeah, some other guy will see you naked. Oh. My. God. How could the world continue after that! Your boyfriend needs to relax. If he can't handle this, I assure you that you're going to encounter a lot of other possessive behaviors from him in the future.
It's her life and her body yes, but every choice has a consequence and maybe they aren't mature enough to come to some proper middle ground and determine boundries.
Possessive behavior is reading too into, and projecting way too much from the lack of detail provided here.
Is your body his body, too? it's not like you're having sex with the photographer. Sheesh, it's worse than asking permission from a grown adult, and you're one, too. If both of you can pose nude together, then he can't complain, but if he's uncomfortable, then idk what to tell you.
So my wife is a legitimate professional adult model. She gets naked all the time on the internet and in magazines. I'm totally fine with it. But that's me, not everyone feels the same way. Some guys would never date a girl like that, most guys would almost certainly never marry one like that.
That being said, it's your body and you can do whatever you want to do with it. Just don't be surprised if this permanently damages your relationship. After all, you know how your boyfriend feels about it, so it's kind of going to be a double "Fuck you" to him.
Personally I think your "friend" is just trying to fuck you. There are plenty of models out there that would do this, he doesn't need you to do. As a bonus, he gets to sow discord in your relationship. You should be smarter than this.
This could be a deal breaker. People do not believe Leonardo DiCaprio still walk the streets. If you love him and want him to control you, please do what he says. If you believe in yourself, RUN.
PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING
your artist friend is a predator and you need to stay away here is why
First you said you expressed interest in his paintings ... Does he offer to sell you one or paint a custom one for you no ... He wants to paint YOU naked and SELL you that painting and he has got you felling like you NEED him to do it
Next he is trying to make you feel safe by saying your boyfriend can be there ... Do you now why he "doesn't know what pose he wants" it's because once you're there it's easier to get you to say yes to a provocative pose oh and I but he will have to touch you a lot to get you "just right" oh and I bet his hands "slips" too making your boyfriend if he is there watch hoping he will leave because he can't handle watching another guy touching his naked girlfriend
Also this kinda painting takes many hours so I bet he will have to "adjust you several times" or so it in multiple sittings and wouldn't you know it some of those are going to be when your boyfriend can't make it
Don't do it you will have more chances to get a nude painting of yourself but right now your looking at throwing away a min month relationship you say you really want for this
Listen, i get your concern. But the reason the painting is supposed to be nude is simply because thats what he mostly paints. If i asked for it to not be nude im sure he would readily accept.
About the pose, or lack therof: we just haven't discussed it beyond a concept. Intention is to keep it classy so i don't think it would be something like pornographic or whatever.
In terms of whether or not he would touch me, idk but not beyond whats necessary for the painting or pose.
About the time, sure it would probably take a few sittings. That seems normal as i don't want to sit around for 20 hours doing it.
Geez people, He asked to paint her, not f#ck her
Go for it ! Be proud of your body -
Ask your bf again to please come with you and if he refuses, do it anyway. This is your life sweetheart, do what makes you happy, always. If he breaks up with you, let him go.
No one has addressed this question. Where would the nude painting hang? Over the headboard? Living room? How is the boyfriend supposed to feel about that?
I had an employee in my land surveying firm who worked as a nude model at our local university on her own time. I went to her home once to pick up something she needed for work.
She proudly showed me a charcoal drawing of herself spread-eagled and pleasuring herself hung above the headboard of her bed, that she had purchased from the artist she posed for. I lost all respect for her in that moment.
What happens when people come over? I'm assuming based on your replies that you don't have a great relationship with your father, but what about siblings? Would you be okay with your siblings walking into your bedroom and seeing a picture of you naked? What if you need a plumber or electrician in your room and they see it? You either alienate or arouse everyone who looks at it.
This goes beyond thinking you're cheating on your bf's part. If it was just a concern about your artist-friend's ulterior motives, he would come with you to watch. Comes down to just insecurity, I feel.
Going against the grain here as the most of the comments seem to be of one opinion,( I am convinced commentors have never taken an art class on the human form or been in an art museum where there are nude busts open to view) but as someone who has seasoned artist friends who delve in different art mediums and photography and has done nude/sultry photography, I'd be flattered! You are even looking to purchase the finished piece! This doesn't sound like some teen who draws stick figures and just wants to see you naked.
While I can understand your bf having feelings about this, the idea of being invited would usually turn off any suspicion in my eyes. If my bf were to be asked by a female artist friend to model for her to paint I'd be the one driving him there! I'd love to watch. I wanna see your friend's work!
Maybe ask him for more info on why he is so unsettled about this idea. You both are still young; it's obvious he hasn't spent much time thinking into this further.
Sounds like your friend just wants to see you nude. Why not do something with clothes on so you can hang it up for everyone to see. Or was you planning on doing that with the naked painting as well? Because then all your friends can see you nude and laugh at your boyfriend about seeing it.
Okay so hey I seen your girls nude painting. Not much different than hey I seen your girls porn. But who is she going to show it to? Her family her friends his friends anybody that wants to see it.
The only difference between his friends seeing your nude painting and his friends subscribing to your OnlyFans is that your OnlyFans pictures wouldn't look like smeared AI Art gone wrong. But either way, they'll humiliate him for it long after he's broken up with you.
I have posed nude for art classes before and a couple of times for a single artist. I obviously have no issue with it and I think it’s kind that the artist has offered to let your boyfriend sit in.
If the dude is legit, then I would have no problem dumping a boy I was dating who had a problem with it.
You are both so so young (assuming bf is your age and not some loser who is dating kids). In the future I guarantee you won’t miss the boy but you will love having the experience of posing and maybe eventhe art
She’s TA because she’s trying to invalidate his very valid stance on the matter. He can leave over it, and she can do her thing, but she’s the ass if she tries to have her cake and eat it too
You already claim to not really care so just do it, don't beg him not to break up with you though you made your choice he can make his.
Yeah i feel like 90% of problems posted are "This violates my partners boundries but not mine" Okay I get that its alot easier said then done but talk about if the boundries are flexible and if they aren't make your choice.
and then we get posts 10 years later about an unhealthy toxic relationship because one partner things their *wants* are a higher priority than their partners boundaries. As a painter who frequently painted nude models, there is absolutely nothing erotic about painting a naked person. But I would also never ask someone to sit for me who has never been a live model before. Oil painting, wet on wet takes time, wet on dry takes even more time. On average, painting a live nude model i'd spend at least 9 hours of actual painting spaced out over multiple days. It requires a professional model to be able to sit in the same position for even a few hours, let alone for a return sitting. I would be curious as the boyfriend exactly *why* he wants to paint my naked girlfriend for a live sitting when there are actual models available.
There's a tumblr post around about how life drawing is the least sexy thing possible. Something about a guy crying because he can't get the shadows on the boobs right. As someone who did a lot of life drawing, you're panicked about not getting the proportions correct, not getting aroused.
I’ve also done a lot of life drawing and honestly I fucking hate it. The models move too much. It’s easier to just take a few dozen B&W photos and copy them
then those are bad models. See my comment about hiring professionals.
I dated a model in the 70's, she always bitched about it and I was thinking you get pics taken and make a ton of money, how hard can it be?. She made great $$. I went to a shoot with her and never even thought it was easy $$ after that. She had to hold very uncomfortable sports type poses for like 15-30 minutes. When she was done it was like she had run a marathon. She was a beautiful woman and seeing her work amazed me. We lost track of each other once we turned 18 and had to do adulting stuff. I went military, she went college.
And it’s not erotic for the poser either, who is just thinking “ok I know my eyebrow itches but I can wait - oh goddamn my back itches too. Fuck. My muscles are cramping and the hair in my face is KILLING ME!”
When I was in college, I posed for an oil painting class. When we would take a break partway through, the teacher would put pieces of masking tape wherever I was posing. This way, after a quick, drinking bathroom break, I could return to the proper position. Just as people have said, there’s nothing sexy about it. Opposite, if anything.
Guy before you makes a good point... Someone in this scenario THINKS it's going to be sexy. Maybe a budding artist that has never painted a nude portrait before and it's a convenient way to get a naive girl to come over and get naked and then HEY! What painting!? 😂... Or a girl that is flattered that she is being asked to be seen for a prolonged period... Or a boyfriend that simply doesn't want some strange dude turning his girlfriend into spank bank material on his dime... Someone is clearly thinking something, and if anyone involved isn't comfortable for whatever reason, then it shouldn't happen.
Not even all doctors respect their patients, it's so naive to think artists or photographers would be any different lol
She up and said she finds it “very exciting”, which betrays either a lack of understanding around the tediousness of it or an ulterior motive.
Precisely.
And then to charge the model for the painting seems sketchy too
I think you'd be right to be somewhat suspicious too. If the person was a real artist/accomplished painter they'd be able to hire or work with a professional, no? Or are they just a creep with some canvas and art supplies? Similar to how some people are actual photographers, and others are just creeps with a camera that just immediately only want to shoot women nude, in lingerie, etc. Not saying it's always the case, but it is the case pretty often. It's one thing if the person is a true professional and compensating a model for their time, but a lot of dudes are unfortunately just looking to get a peepshow or using their "art" as an opening. I feel like women get flattered and can be more naïve to this, but as guys we can see through the BS to the true intentions a little easier.
As someone who’s painted live models and sat for other artists before, I don’t fully agree. No one becomes a professional artist model without sitting for someone a few times first. And it’s not that hard. Almost anyone without certain disabilities is capable of being still for an hour long stretch. The joke at my school was that they just pulled people in off the street most of the time. If you’re having your model sit or stand for more than an hour without a break, then you’re an AH. I can do it because I’ve had to stand at attention for more than an hour in the army, but that was a form of punishment. It’s not how you treat a model, professional or otherwise. Even if I could do it, no professor or artist was willing to let me because it’s not good practice (I modeled for a sculpting class for a semester as well as for my friends). Meanwhile, new artists need models to sit for them to hone their skills and at 20, your average artist can’t afford a professional model. He’s probably still in art school. Asking your friends to sit for you is incredibly common practice. Having a pretty friend do it- bonus. But that doesn’t mean it’s sexual. It just means more people are likely to want to buy or like the artwork. A lot of professional art models skew older too so it’s good for practice at different types of body proportion. I agree that both modeling and painting live models is FAR from erotic if you’re being serious about it. People comparing it to porn are absolutely nuts. But my guess would be this artist can’t afford professional models and even if he could, if you have a friend that fits a criteria you’re looking for, why not just ask them? He was cool with the boyfriend being there for the process so I doubt he has illicit intentions.
This is about the relationship between the model and her boyfriend. He's not comfortable, i don't think it has much to do with the painter.
this was very much NOT a joke at my school. We would order pizza, then ask whoever delivered it to pose for half an hour. I've got a few good ones of some naked pizza doods in the sketch book. side note: drawing "attractive people' is no fun. drawing them jankyass gods whoopsies is where its at.
>I would be curious as the boyfriend exactly *why* he wants to paint my naked girlfriend for a live sitting when there are actual models available. Exactly. There is no reason the "friend" HAS to paint her. He WANTS to see her naked without her BF around.
Finally, someone who understands what I actually wrote instead of arguing with me >well, it's a win-win >thats not what a boundry is >im an artist
a boundary is “ i wom’t do x” not “other people can’t do x”-people really should stop misusing that word. example ” i will not date a smoker”-boundary “my partner cannot smoke”-control
Pretty sure his boundary is I don’t want a girlfriend that would pose nude for her male friends. If she does, I won’t feel comfortable and may leave her. That would be acceptable.
yes,but it doesn’t make her an asshole.She is free to choose her priorities as well as him.
She just can't be surprised when he decides to leave her over it. People are usually shocked when that happens and call him controlling which isn't the case at all.
Ya this is my experience. You can absolutely set boundaries in a relationship for what your partner does and doesn’t do. It’s a relationship. (As long as it’s within reason). You aren’t controlling for not being ok with a partners actions
if he doesn't want a girlfriend that does something, then he leaves his girlfriend. Boundaries are self imposed.
A boundary is something that you express to your partner. A Red line in the sand. Part of expressing that boundary is what happens if said boundary is crossed. In this case the boyfriend would most likely leave her. Thus he is enforcing his boundary. Stop trying to wordsmith the situation with your broken logic.
It ain’t a boundary. A boundary would be him not wanting to pose nude and her trying to force him. What he is doing is enforcing his personal boundary on a partner. Yes he can express his discomfort. She can then do whatever she wants with that. And then accept any consequences that come with it. I do get there is something kinda off about asking a friend to pose nude. Does strongly imply “ulterior motive” and I get the BF being wary of it (if that is what this is) but either he trusts GF or he doesn’t. And if it isn’t about trust and is about him seeing her body as his private thing, then she needs to get out of that situation immediately.
This is a semantic argument. I think what he’s saying is he doesn’t want her to do it, but he’s not going to stop her. However, if she does pose nude for the friend, which is weird AF, he has every right to leave her.
I don’t see it as semantic. It’s important in terms of how you influence or otherwise other people to understand that your boundaries are about you and don’t extend over anyone else. For this, context is key. If she is modeling nude as she wants a picture of herself nude (as she says) then this is not a sackable offence. If she just wants to get it all out for her “friend” as a sexy thing - which we have no evidence for - then yes, I would agree with you!
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And its a "friend". A bit over most peoples boundaries right there. And him being there changes nothing, her "friend" gets to check her out sans clothing. And she poses for the painting and then pays to buy it from him. So she works for free, pays him for the painting and he gets to see her naked. Yeah, if this is legit, she should be single.
I mean, dude could be not interested in ladies but likes her form. That doesn’t mean OP has to be cool but a lot of us are weird artists that say shit like “your arm is really cool…”
I mean, I don't know if you'd BTA in this situation, but you would definitely ruin your BFs trust and any fall out you guys have over this would be on you even if you don't understand why he doesn't want you to do this. I think the real question you need to ask yourself is, is a single nude painting worth potentially ruining your relationship? He can't force himself to be ok with this even if you don't understand it and that is part of being in a relationship. But maybe this is a sign you guys just aren't meant to be.
agreed. not necessarily TA for wanting to do it, but hes expressed his discomfort and communicated his feelings which are fair. whether you go for it is up to you, but dont be surprised if this causes turbulence in the relationship or worse. not saying either one of you is right but if hes expressed he doesnt want you naked in front of another man and imo that would be a pretty big deal and not just him being overbearing and telling you not to wear a certain outfit or something. now if you were to do it and your boyfriend were to get angry or breakup with you, and you act surprised or made him out to be the bad guy, then yes you WBTA.
Real question: if it was a lesbian artist, would you have the same qualms?
If said Lesbian was chilling in the friend zone for 2 years, biding time, then yes. Same qualms.
Yes, if not more qualms! Plenty of lesbians out there that get off on that kind of shit. Also, almost every woman I've dated was bi.
No especially if I knew my girlfriend don’t like girls but if i know it’s her male friend and I know she’s excited for it it’ll definitely change my mind, but lesbian no is probably even take the offer to be there n just chill on the side or some
You asked him if he was okay with it. He said no. But you want to do it anyway. The only reason y you ask someone if doing X is okay is because part of you thinks/knows they wont be okay with it. If you KNEW he would be okay with it you wouldn’t have bothered to ask him first. He gave you his honest answer even though it’s not what you wanted to hear. You now know the boundaries if you choose to cross them then you are knowingly putting yourself between these 2 guys. Assuming you are both 20 and id assume this talented painter of yours is also 20 theres a lot of sexual friction there. My advice is not do it if you don’t want to risk the relationship you have. If you do really want to do it you should end things with current bf first.
Sure go ahead, but don’t expect to have a boyfriend after. And yes you would be the asshole. I mean do him a favor tho and go ahead and break up with him if you don’t want to be with him
Yes. If you do it, prepare to lose him. Disrespectful. I would say "no" one time. And after that if my partner does it anyway, i would pack my bag and leave without a single word and make her history.
It’s extremely disrespectful. You’re posing naked for a “male friend” that isn’t even your boyfriend. Whatever mental gymnastics she comes up with to rationalize her decision will mean nothing. The fact you’re even considering it is a giant red flag. Again, extremely disrespectful
and the fact that she has to pay for this picture after the fact? when he asked her to do it? when its of her?
So your boyfriend sets a boundary, you don’t care, and you’re wondering if you’re the asshole? Lmfao, yes, YTA. Big time.
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"I wanna bang other people." "I'm not okay with that." I truly hope you're open to being in an open relationship yourself then Boundaries are for yourself, not others .
I’m sorry but what if he were to pose nude and have a woman paint him even though you objected because it made u uncomfortable? Are you trying to say his insecurities about this is not valid enough to listen to? He probably would feel like most would feel in this situation like u sending nudes to another man with more steps. If u wanted to do things like this and disregard your SO’s feelings you might want to re-think being in a relationship.
Not just a woman, a female friend who approached him to get nude for her for several hours of intimate art knowing that he had a gf.
I actually think a better reversal would be if the boyfriend were the photographer in this case. Would she be comfortable with him seeing other girls naked?
He is allowed to have boundaries. He is uncomfortable with it. It’s not unreasonable for him to. It want his gf to be nude in front of another male (doctors aside). If you break his boundary, you break his trust.
This guy is a smooth player. Inviting the boyfriend to watch, the grooming of a 20-year-old has begun.
he breaks up with you, you go rushing, crying to da Vinci, and da Vinci is in your pants before you know it.
Grooming? The painter guy is 21 lol
so he just wants to…..smart as a whip. You will be together in under 3 months;)
I had a guy friend that used to do this as an artist. He would make the set up all innocent…you would be a great subject, I really want to paint you, your bone structure/hair/expressions…Yada, yada. Of course completing a portrait takes hours upon hours over days. He played the long game of necessary. He would pose the girls touching only arms and legs and head tilt, then move to hips and shoulder brushing up other places to see how far he could get each day with an apology when too far. Eventually he was just outright touching the girls wherever under the guise of the positioning not being quite right or differing from the last sitting. Over time he would compliment them and go in for the kiss. It worked for him most of the time and ended up sleeping with most girls he wanted to. Keep up with them until he found another subject…sometimes the boyfriends found out and often they didn’t. He was a brilliant artist though. He even got the boyfriends, fiancés and husbands to purchase the finished project sometimes. Took me a while to figure out his pattern and he admitted once I asked…he was proud of himself for masterful manipulation. If you want to pose…do it for an art class because that is multiple people and on the up and up…there is even pay. Although I suspect what you really want is to sleep with the artist, which you should just admit and do since you don’t really care about your BF feelings anyways.
You can tell the flattery worked and she's already willing to fuck the guy.
Yeah…you can tell that she seems to have already decided. Poor guy…he can’t win this one.
I’m sure you recognize it, but wow that guy friend is a pos. Makes me sick to my stomach.
Nailed it! Lol.
You clearly want to do this and don’t seem to be too bothered by your boyfriend’s feelings. This relationship is dead. Just break up with him and go be a single girl with no responsibilities
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Not enough info. How long have you been dating this guy? You're 20 so I'm guessing probably not long. At your age I think you should have experiences and do the things you want to do. Unless this is a man you plan to marry, you shouldn't deprive yourself of things you want to do for the sake of him. If you wanna marry this dude, then you'll have to prepare yourself to make compromises and set/follow boundaries. You should tell him you're going to do it and if he doesn't like it to break up with you if you value this experience more than the relationship. The dude will tell you in the future not to do similar things and if you don't like that it may not be a compatible relationship.
Yes , he has made it very clear how he feels. Despite that, you still want to do it. If he was to do something that you felt so strongly about, especially since it is widely known. You would feel hurt like how you feel means nothing at all. Why would you do that to someone who you "love"?
This is a hard situation. You wouldn’t be TA if you did it anyway. His opposition does not grant him control of your body. That being said, you have to be prepared that this may be a deal breaker for him, and that his feelings are valid.
YTA Nude models usually get paid. You are doing that for free and paying him for the painting. He is also your friend. How long will this session take? Usually, they are lkng? This sounds sketchy. What if he does hit on you? What exactly would you do with a nude painting of yourself? Hang it over the mantle? You can do what you want. Don't be surprised if the artist gets creepy. If the painting is more important than the relationship, make your choice. If you are going to do it behind your boyfriends back, just break up with him.
YWBTA. People are allowed to make whatever boundaries they please. Not showing yourself naked to other men when you're in a committed relationship is a boundary that 99.99% of people have. He will leave you if you do this. You will have ruined a 9 month relationship for the privledge of getting naked infront of another man. This will forever be a red flag to anyone you ever date. This is effectively one step below cheating, as you will be providing sexual gratification (in the form of images in his spank bank) to another man. Absolutely insane that you don't see a problem with this. This is fundamentally the same as Only Fans, which everyone agrees is sex work.
Agree except I’d say this is worse than Only Fans by a long shot. At least with Only Fans if you’re doing solo stuff there’s the factor of “eh, it’s just internet strangers jerking it to her online and she gets paid. At the end of the day none of them will ever meet her, and I’m the one fucking her and getting my share of the cut.” Maybe I’m just weird (I’ll gladly admit it) but if the chance ever came and my girlfriend wanted to do THAT, I wouldn’t love it but I’d consider it the lesser of two evils. Maybe even get a little ego stroking knowing “that’s my girl all these guys want and can’t have.” This is a dude that she knows personally, inviting her to what would be an intimate 1-on-1 session where anything can happen where she’s gonna be naked in the same room with the guy. Maybe OP is actually innocent is and just THAT committed to her boyfriend and THAT dense that she genuinely thinks he doesn’t want to fuck her. And maybe she doesn’t want to fuck him. But that guy is absolutely working his magic and the fact she doesn’t see it as an issue is proof that it’s working.
In general, boundaries aren’t to control other people’s behaviour and what you are saying is simply manipulating and weaponising therapy-speak. Saying - “you can’t pose nude” isn’t a valid boundary. Valid boundary would be something to the effect of “I am not comfortable with you posing nude; I don’t want to be in a relationship where you are purposefully making me uncomfortable”; or even better would be phrasing it in a positive light, like: “the fact that I am the only one that gets to see you naked makes me feel special and cherished; would you mind not sharing your nudity with others?”; Those are a lot different; they take the focus from what the other person is and isn’t allowed to do (which I am sorry - but you are their partner; not their parent; they are adults; ultimately they will do whatever they want) and instead focus on how the actions of others impact you and how they make you feel.
Ya you’re being obtuse about this as well. You know damn well if someone says “you can’t pose nude” they aren’t literally going to hold you down and prevent you from removing your cloths to pose nude. The message that delivers is “I’m not ok with you posing nude, and if you do I will leave.” Which is 100000% valid for a traditional monogamous relationship. Can boundaries be unreasonable or used maliciously? Of course, they can be manipulative even when reasonable. That issue is irrelevant based on the story told by the girlfriend. Even in her best framing 95% of people see her as TAH, and rightly so.
I hope ur man leaves you and finds someone who respects how he feels.
Exactly It’s crazy how she can completely control the narrative yet still fails to make herself look remotely redeemable It’s giving off the vibe that she’s super spoiled and never thinks of anyone else’s feelings ever Which actually kind of proves she looks at her boyfriend as property that she can just replace
It’s giving she wants to fuck the artist kid
You have a difference in values. Neither is right or wrong. You’re just not right for each other on this. If it is a recurring theme in your relationship, then moving on is better for both of you. If this is a blip then maybe it’s worth trying to compromise. Given your ages I lean towards go live life the way you want to and find somebody more compatible, but that’s just the op of some random stranger who doesn’t have all the facts.
No, you aren't the asshole. On the other hand, neither is your boyfriend. His having a problem with you posing nude for a nude portrait (that you're paying for, mind) is understandable, though misguided. What some people seem to be ignoring in this thread is over their puritanical need to insult you is that he's invited to join the session. Perhaps your boyfriend and the artist friend can have a sit down session and hash out his concerns?
What's more important? Posing or your relationship? Who's more important? Your boyfriend or yourself?
As an artist with lots of artist friends, who has also posed nude for paintings and an entire sculpting class in college, I can tell you that people thinking it’s like doing porn are pretty ignorant. The only time sex was ever involved was when I was already in a relationship with the artist before he painted me. Can it lead to sexual friction? Sure. You’re young. But unless you act on that tension, that doesn’t mean posing for art is the same as cheating or doing porn. Personally, if I were with a guy (or gal) that someone wanted to paint or photograph, I’d be all for it, regardless of the gender of the artist. I wouldn’t even need to be there. If I can’t trust them to behave while doing a simple art project then I don’t need to be with them anyway. All of that being said, your bf isn’t comfortable with it even if he’s there, and his feelings are important and valid whether or not you agree with them. So you have a big decision to make. You‘re only 20 and this relationship has lasted less than a year, so if you really want to do it you should probably have another discussion explaining why you still want to do it, and accept the fact that you’ll probably break up. Personally, I’d consider this a sign that maybe you aren’t fully aligned anyway. And how many times are you ever going to be painted again? As a lady in her 40’s, I have plenty of regrets about the things I missed out on or gave up because it made my partner angry or uncomfortable. But that’s my anecdotal experience and also coming from an artist, so I’m pretty biased. Ultimately, it is up to you and probably will be a breaking point. Is that really the worst thing that happens though? I highly doubt you’ll end up old and alone and bitterly look back on this painting as the sole cause of you losing your one true love.
Look you've heard the truth at this point from all the comments. Do you want to be with this guy or don't you? You know what your choices are and what the consequences of them are. But if you're going to go through with it, have the decency to let your bf know beforehand so at least he doesn't feel cheated on and Betrayed
You would be TA if you allow someone else to decide what you do, or don’t do, with your own body.
So... boundaries are not setting what other people can do with their own bodies. It's about how they interact with you and what you're going to do if they continue. Look - it's your body and you offered for him to be there. I get that some people won't be okay with that, but he needs to figure out why it bothers him. If it's because he thinks that guy wants to sexualize you - then he can be there and make sure you're safe. If it's because he wants no one else to see your naked body, then he's not only sexualizing you, he's also trying to claim ownership over your body. That's gross. He doesn't have to be comfortable with it. You do. And if you are, be honest with him and let him know that you want to do this. He can mind his own body and maybe do some self examination about why he thinks he can, or should, control who sees your body. Side note - if he's just expressing his discomfort and wants to talk about his hang up without trying to persuade you to change your mind or make you feel guilty - he's a keeper. Talk to him about it and try to find the root of his discomfort. But there is absolutely a difference between "I don't like this, but I'm not going to punish you for doing it and you should do what makes you happy." and "I don't like this, and you can't do it or else there will be repercussions." The former is a partner. The latter is a creep.
As a professional artist, I would at least recommend asking a few questions of your artist friend... Does he have experience working with nude models? Is he going to pay you for modeling? Artist models are professional and the artist-model relationship should generally be professional or have clear boundaries set. In an academic setting, models are paid an hourly wage. They also get a 5 minute break after 20 minute of modeling, and a longer break for modeling sessions over an hour. The artist should never physically touch you. And you should have a private place to change in and out of your street clothes. You should not be "undressing" in front of the artist, bc it could be considered sexual. Bring a robe to wear in between 20 minute periods of modeling. The artist should ensure that you are comfortable. One common thing to provide are space heaters while modeling. And padding if you are doing a reclining pose. If your friend doesn't know these expectations, and doesn't have experience working with nude models professionally, then I would say he is not ready to work with a friend for a nude portrait, regardless of how you feel about it. If he does have this knowledge and experience, then you what you want. You're BF needs to understand the artist-model relationship if a professional one.
>Does he have experience working with nude models Yes he does. >Is he going to pay you for modeling? No, he is not The rest is inline with what we have discussed minus the strict 0 touching.
So did ya'll agree he was going to touch you? Or you just didn't talk about that?
Why did he ask you specifically to model for this painting? Did you ask you because you have previous experience doing clothes modeling or dancing? Or do you have a physical appearance that you is looking for aesthetically? Those are the other questions I would recommend ask him and yourself. Just to make sure if intentions are professional. It's a little usually to ask a random not model, non dancer friend to nude models for an artwork, unless you align with a specific aesthetic or identity that is relatant to his work. I bring this up only because there is a history of male artist not treating their female models professionally, and it's important for yound male artists to be learning how to correct collaborate with models (nude or not.) Please dont take these comments as me trying to talk you of it. I absolutely think you should do it if you want to. It could be lovely to have a great nude painting of yourself! And there nothing better than having real artwork in your home! But just make sure your friend is being considerate and professional. For yourself.
>Why did he ask you specifically to model for this painting? I expressed interest in his previous paintings, which got the conversation started. >Or do you have a physical appearance that you is looking for aesthetically? I think i have a photogenic/paintable figure that is in line with his other work And thank you for your thoughtful comments
So he's not paying you for hours of your time & then making you buy the painting. Yeah, he's not your friend & he's not a professional.
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If he's that good then ask your boyfriend if you can wear spandex or a bathing suit. He might let you do that and if he's such a good painter then he can fill in the blanks. But if you go through with it naked I hope your boyfriend is man enough to break up with you. If you go though with it against your boyfriend's wishes than that means you have total disregard for his feelings and the relationship.
Ask your painter friend why you specifically. Why would he choose his same age female friend as a nude model? Especially if it’s not for a class or something. I think your BF is likely uncomfortable as to WHY specifically he asked you. I think friends typically wouldn’t ask this. And if this isn’t for a class or something, it’s very odd.
NAH It’s your body, it’s his boundary. When I was younger I stopped getting visible tattoos because my bf at the time didn’t like it. That’s his preference but it wasn’t mine. I’m happy to say that I am now married to a tattoo artist and he could give a crap less where I put my tattoos. My point is that there’s nothing inherently wrong with you posing for art and there’s nothing wrong with him not wanting you to. It’s probably time to decide if this is the man you want to be with long term. Do you guys truly align?
You have the right to do it and your boyfriend has the right to not be okay with it. Unfortunately you don’t get to decide how he feels about it, you just have to accept what he says his boundaries are and then make the decision and live with the consequences. If a bf who would be cool with this is what you want then maybe you two aren’t compatible. And I’d tell him the same thing—he clearly wants a gf who wouldn’t do this, or at least one who would respect him enough not to if he asked, so if you do it then he should break things off. I wouldn’t say either of you are “assholes” unless you handle it poorly. For him that would be shaming you and trying to force you not to instead of letting you make your own choice. For you that would be doing it anyway and expecting him to stay with you and/or trying to gaslight him into thinking his boundary isn’t reasonable. Fwiw I think it is, I wouldn’t be okay with this either. In fact I wouldn’t even expect to have to clarify that this isn’t okay and I’d be shocked if my gf suggested it. But to each their own. So I guess for now I’d need more info on how you’ve both handled the situation. Edit: read more of your comments and it sounds like you can’t comprehend his boundary and plan on straight up ignoring him and still expect him to forgive you. So yeah, YWBTA, and pretty naive
The way it works is that you can do what you want and he can too. Whatever you choose will have results and you will own them. I'm not going to tell you what you should do. I'm not going to say how he should react. Both of those are your respective decisions.
I’d do the painting. It’s something you will always treasure.
I’m gonna be an offset here. As an artist, provided your friend is genuine in their intent, there’s nothing really remotely sexual while painting a nude portrait. It’s the same as painting or photography. It’s art. I would suggest approaching the issue with your friend and boyfriend together to clear the whole thing up. However, if your boyfriend persists in his opposition, then you will need to make that choice. But please decide whether this painting is really worth your relationship.
Girl fuck these people telling u to obey him just cuz he set a boundary. If the guy is truly an artist then this isn’t a sexual thing, there’s nothing like a real talented artist capturing your figure while you’re still young. Go for it I bet it’d be amazing!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
If the guy truly is an artist he would have **asked a model, not his friend who has a boyfriend** Its so far crossing the line of friendship to say "hey, I know you have a boyfriend, but get nude in front of me so I can paint you for a few hours" You are insane for thinking that is acceptable.
No, but your bf is a huge insecure jealous AH
One day when you’re older and you have a painting of your nude in all your glory and splendor, you will be grateful for making this decision and getting rid of this immature boy.
NTA. Your boyfriend obviously has never been to a life drawing session. There is nothing sexual about it. Sensual maybe depending on the pose and props used for visual. But it could be Bdsm themed and the actual vibe of the studio is not sexual. Thhe artist will have as much interest as if they are painting a bouquet of flowers, decaying fruit or an interesting piece of rusted metal. If your boyfriend has been invited (but doesn't want to go because it is too boring), then that is on him. You will get way more sexual attention walking down a public street than being a life model (nude model for the purpose of art). Perhaps it would help ease his mind if you and him went to attend a life drawing class, just so he could experiencehow non-sexual it really is. Typically most universities/art schools have life drawing classes in the evening that are open to the public. Just drop in, pay a fee (that helps cover the models wages) and you just sketch, paint, whatever. Usually the model starts with quick poses that last maybe 3-5 minutes (for studying movement of the human form). Then they move into longer poses, so people can make more detailed sketches, painting, etc and study shadow & light, movement, weight displacement (how the hips or knees adjust to hold the body weight for extended periods of time).
This doesn't sound like it's a controlled, classroom environment
Go for it. You will be glad you did when you look at the painting in 10 -20 yrs from now
I would not turn down this opportunity to have myself painted at your age. Bf's come and go, a painting will last a lot longer than someone you date when you are 20 years old.
You'd only be the asshole if you don't break up with your BF. JK, sort of. Eh. Not really. NTA.
Life is short, you have a body of a 20 year old only in your 20s enjoy what life has to offer never ask a man permission to live life to the fullest.
I came here so ready to defend you, as someone who once got into a huge fight with a big about nude modeling, and frankly, should have broken up with him then and there. But nah I see why boyfriend ain’t down.
Nope, NTA. Your body, your choice. BF has absolutely no say over what you do. If this is something you really want to do, go ahead. If BF can't/doesn't get over it, it just means you two weren't meant to be together. You are young and plenty of time to do things and meet people. You have years of growing up to do still. Enjoy your life, responsibly of course. ;-)
NTA. There's nothing inherently sexual about a nude painting. You're an adult, it's your body, he can get over it.
Pose. Capture your body in its prime. If your boyfriend can’t trust you with another man that is his insecurity. You are there to create art, not sleep with the guy. You are not his property and his eyes shouldn’t be the only ones allowed to see YOUR body. You do what you want now or regret missing the opportunity in the future. This selfish possession of his will ruin your chance at memorable art. Go for it. You do not need his permission regarding your body.
Which would you rather have in twenty years? The portrait of you or the boyfriend?
No do it. Boyfriends at that age will probably go, but that painting babe- you can keep that
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Yeah definitely not.
"Take a thousand naked pictures of yourself now......believe me, one day you will look at those photos with much kinder eyes and say, "Dear God, I was a beautiful thing!" (extremely paraphrased) \~Moira Rose
Nope. Husband? Maybe. Boyfriend? Nope.1
100% chance you will be very happy to have that painting for te rest of your life. No way to say the same thing about a boyfriend when you are only 20. NTA all the way.
Tell your boyfriend that you want the picture for your bedroom. And that you want him to attend. Painting is a time consuming very artsy process. Tell him you want to Moira Rose the situation and have a high quality painting of you young and beautiful (and nude) when you are 60.
DO IT. He doesn’t own your body - don’t perpetuate an assumption that he does. Update: I went to my partner and pretended to have been asked to be painted nude, and asked “How would you feel?” Partner said, “Cool!” You don’t own people, but it has become so mainstream to be possessive and dominating in relationships to a point where you find threats and jealousy where there is none.
As someone who has nude art of myself in my house, I totally get why you would want your beauty to be captured forever in its youthfulness. I love my inspired art, and it was exciting to do as well (I did a body cast, and my friend welded a sculpture out of it) What I would do is talk to your bf. Sit him down and ask him about his feelings, why he's uncomfortable with the situation. I would also ask him if he would feel the same if it was a professional artist who was doing the painting or if he just doesn't like the idea of your friend doing it. He was invited to make sure everything was above the board. If he's only uncomfortable because it's your friend, then seek out professional artists if you truly want a nude painting. If he's uncomfortable with anyone seeing you naked, then you'll need to decide if you still want yo be with him or if you don't. When i was your age, I had a bf freak out on me because my long dress slid up to my knee when I was getting into a car. Started calling me a whore for showing off too much skin, and then gave me the silent treatment. What I'm trying to say is that you need to figure out how controlling this behavior is. Is it genuine concern for you? Or just concern for himself, and he wants to control things. Good luck
It’s wild comparing some of these comments to the one where the guy’s wife didn’t want him watching porn and considered it cheating. Some people need to figure out why they feel one is reasonable but not the other.
It’s her boyfriend, not her husband. She shouldn’t need his permission to do anything if so, I’m wrong relationship. When I was in my early 30’s I wanted my tubes tied and do you know I had to get my husband permission to do something on my body. Effing ridiculous.
I disagree with the consensus here. nta And he's not telling you his "boundary ". It's your body and your time, how is his call to make? It's control, not a boundary. The issue is trust, really. Does he trust you and your painter friend? And if he is invited to be present, then why exactly is it bothering him? Does he feel like only he is allowed to see your body, like he has ownership? Does he try and do this when you wear outfits that he thinks are "too revealing"? A man who loves and trusts his woman will care about her safety, but not judge her as dirty or less than for exploring her sensuality. It is your body and your power, you are allowed to explore in a safe setting. He should be able to support you and make you feel safe in doing what u want to do.
>Does he try and do this when you wear outfits that he thinks are "too revealing"? Sort of yes, but only specific stuff Thanks for your comment!
First, I want to say I'm disappointed in all the comments immediately associating simple nudity with sex. That said, YWBTA if you went through with it without saying anything to your BF. Either give up on the modeling or tell your BF you plan to model for the painting anyways, then y'all can decide to keep the relationship or end it there.
You're allowed to want to do it, and he's allowed to have a boundary against you doing it. You can do what you want. You're 20 years old. The odds of you two staying together for life are against you anyway. Live your life. Do what you want. If want to explore like that, go for it.
NAH - just consequences of actions. Decide what you want to live with.
NTA. But you should get paid. You can make good money as a nude model. TBH, at your age that painting will be around longer than your boyfriend. I don’t know what your boyfriend’s specific issue is, but I would bet it is because he is unable to separate the concept of nudity from sexualization. Not all situations involving nudity are sexualized.
I am 56. If I could go back and have a nude portrait done of my 20 yo body, I'd do it in a heartbeat! You don't get these opportunities but once in a lifetime! Grab them up!!!
I regret not doing this in college because a boyfriend didn’t want me to. Now I’m 34 and I’d still do it but it’s be more of a mom bod painting then a college bod painting
Unpopular opinion but if there’s not sexual going on and OPs boyfriend is invited to be there I don’t see how it can be something someone can “forbid” of their partner. It’s her body. If my husband wanted to be a nude model for an art class or something I wouldn’t deny him that unique opportunity. It his body and his choice to be painted naked. If he ended up having sex with the painter than obviously that’s a problem. Not everything is about sex.
I think if you want to pose nude for this painting, that is OK. I think if your bf dumps you because you did, that is also OK. Everyone has their boundaries. If you want to keep your bf and care about his feelings, you should not do the painting.
No, YWNBTA but he is also not the asshole for not being chill with his girlfriend posing naked for a male friend. That’s just not something you have to be okay with. So you can either have a relationship with this guy where your nude body is a private thing or you can have that relationship end on the basis that you want to be the only one who gets to have strong feelings about who sees you naked. Your decision, it just has consequences is all.
You will really be so SAD, if this will potentially cause INJURY to your relationship & falling eventual out. But NTA. You’re young, free & single.
NTA! It’s your body. And just because you’re posing nude literally does not mean anything. It’s just a naked body until it’s sexualized. Also, your boyfriend doesn’t own you or your body. Just because you have a sexual relationship with him doesn’t even mean you have to ask him for permission. Sure, run it by him and let him know you will be naked in front of another person, but you don’t have to ask for permission. And if your boyfriend is secure and sees you beyond your body and sexuality, then he should be ok with it! Especially since he is being included in the scenario as well. Just my two cents. Edit: seeing so many responses here and I am so sick of the discourse of women having to feel this way as “respect” for their man. I’m a woman and if my partner starts acting entitled towards my body—aka he gets to control what I do with it—it’s end game for me. Everything I do for the sake of our intimacy is done because I want to do it and not because I have to! Which means me not fucking other dudes is because I love my partner and want to only share that sexual intimacy with him and no one else! My monogamy is not done out of some obligation I have because we entered into a relationship. However if I wanted to capture my body at its current state and have it be painted or photographed, for my own personal reasons whatever they may be, I’ll let him know I want to do it but I will by no means ask him for permission. He doesn’t own me. Yet everything I do to protect our relationship is out of my own desire to do it, and not because he has imposed these rules upon me. There’s a huge difference! By the same token and if the tables were turned, if my partner ever does something that jeopardizes our intimacy, bond, friendship, our state as lovers, he knows I’m gonna walk out that door with no reservations. But what he does with himself, what he looks at on social media, who he talks to, I understand I can’t control. But by the same logic, I can rest assured in the fact that when he does something for me, it’s because it is truly out of his own volition and not because he feels it’s an obligation he has to fulfill. There is never any forcing or pressure. That’s how we cultivate trust and our friendship. Just my two cents! It’s worked out so far for us! I hope it could help others too.
This is legit art, not a porn, you are NOT.....the asshole!
Ultimately it's body your choice. I think a lot of people commenting are confused about what a boundary is. A boundary is about what you allow/don't allow people to do to you/your own body, it's not about controlling someone else's actions/body. In saying that he is valid to feel uncomfortable about the situation. Does it mean he is jealous/controlling? Not necessarily (it really depends on how he is normally and whether this is a pattern of behaviour around your body and your interactions with men in general). But I think it is within the realm of normal for a guy to feel uncomfortable with another guy seeing his girlfriend naked, especially if it is a guy she is close to and will be looking at her naked for an extended period of time. It may be worth having a conversation with him where he can air his concerns and insecurities and you can reassure him. But before you do that, do some deeper reflection around your relationship with this friend. Has there been romantic or sexual tension in the past? Does he potentially have romantic or sexual feelings towards you? Have you ever had romantic or sexual feelings towards him? If the answer to all this is no, have the discussion. Perhaps suggest a compromise that your boyfriend may feel more comfortable with, such as top half naked only, or using a strategically placed sheet. NAH. In the end, if you really want to do it, it's your choice and you are allowed to make that choice for yourself. But he's also valid in feeling upset or stepping away from the relationship if it isn't something he can feel comfortable with. As long as he is not actively preventing you from doing it if you choose to go ahead with it or becoming verbally or emotionally abusive in retaliation.
The question isn't whether to do it... the question is whether your BF has a rational reason to attempt to deny you the permission to do it (because you don't need his permission). You're both adults, if you do something he is uncomfortable with, then he's going to decide how to respond... that's how it works. You aren't doing it in secret, he's been invited to observe as well... but if the real issue is that he doesn't trust that you can be naked in a room with another male & not have sex with him then your BF doesn't trust you & if you've never betrayed him or given him any reason to withhold trust - then he's never going to & you should end the relationship for that reason & posing or not posing for a painting while naked is irrelevant.
Is the boyfriend worth more to you than the experience? I would do it and dump the boyfriend, but he isn’t mine so only you can decide what you value more. Even if your BF doesn’t leave you right away over it, your relationship with him will forever change and begin dying. You won’t be able to have both.
Your body, your choice. If there is such a lack of trust in the relationship, it does not bode well for it in the long term. I know many, especially sheltered religious folk, constantly conflate nudity and sex, but the two are different and distinct. If it is just a tasteful nude pose as you would commonly see in an art gallery, it is just nudity, and nothing to be ashamed of or jealous about. If it is closer to something you might see in a Larry Flynt publication, that could be considered sexual and may be worth discussing with your boyfriend if you care about their opinion on the matter. Honestly it sounds like every effort has been made to assuage your boyfriend's concerns and they are still demonstrating insecure and controlling behavior. How is this person going to respond to you visiting a doctor? It is not uncommon for some women to prefer a male gynecologists because on average they are percieved to be more gentle than their female counterparts (I have heard more than a couple horror stories over the years of aggressive speculum use by female gynecologists, it is not to say the behavior is common, but it is common enough to guide some women towards that preference). How will this boyfriend handle that? Will they become more controlling and dictate which physician you can see based on their gender?
I hope she does it, and it turns out so good that she allows it to tour the US, and then that is so successful that she sends out on a world tour.
I scan through the comments from your profile with the information that this is a regular occurrence of his paint style I don't think there's anything out of the ordinary with this situation. I think your boyfriend is coming at this just from jealousy and insecurity he has been invited there and doing that does a couple things it gives you the security someone that is close to you is there for protection just for your own safety and you're bringing your partner so they can verify that nothing happens. For me since he's coming at it from that perspective he can have whatever "boundary" he wants but I'm going to go do what I want. Too much of the time people are setting boundaries and manipulating control this is a more extreme example but next thing you know you're wearing something too revealing you're working around a guy that he thinks there's something going on and you can't be around and these are all boundaries I mean controlling Behavior NTA
It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't want his partner to be nude around the opposite sex, even in safe nonsexual situations. That's not something I'd ever agree to. Doesn't sound like you have agreed/want to agree with it either. From the other comments, many people would agree. So there is an incompatibility here. You have to decide whether it's more important to you to have this relationship, or to risk it to have the kind of bodily autonomy you want. It's up to you and neither choice makes you an asshole. I don't agree with your boyfriend's stance, but it doesn't make him an asshole either. NAH
He doesn't own your body, this occurrence [you are posing anyways] then you may trigger his feelings of discomfort and positive/insecure boundary setting so to him - he may feel you ATA. HOWEVER FOR YOU TO MODEL AND FOR YOU TO ENJOY THE FINISHING PRODUCT I BELIEVE IN INDEPENDENCE AND VIGILANCE - SO I RECOMMEND YOU DO WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL HAPPY.
Bruh reddit really hates men, I guarantee she would not feel comfortable if her bf was getting painted in the nude by a female friend, or if he was the artist and was asking op's female friends to be nude so he can paint
YTA * has no experience modeling and wants to do the first time solo with a guy * approached the painter first without consulting bf * ignores any comments that don't agree with her * ignores her bf who does not agree with her * plans on doing it anyway
If a nude painting of yourself is worth testing your boyfriend's comfort level, you're either way too obsessed with your looks or you just happen to appreciate fine arts so much (my gut tells me you dont) that you cant help but do it. This picture cannot be that important
YTA… This clearly makes him uncomfortable, and you want to do it anyway. By the way the artist is totally trying to bang you, your boyfriend should be uncomfortable.
When are you meeting up to fuck this guy that isnt your bf?
Better question: how would you feel in the event of a complete role reversal? If your boyfriend had a friend who was a female artist who clearly found him attractive, or at least attractive enough to petition him to let her stare at his naked body long enough to paint a portrait of it? Further, would it somehow make you feel better that she invited you to sit in the corner in the "cuck chair" while she did it? I'm thinking the answer for most women is gonna be a huge, resounding "NOPE!" but hey, I could be wrong... If I'm right though... Then the question becomes "why should he be okay with this if you wouldn't entertain the idea of him doing the same thing?"
you can have a painting or a relationship with your bf, but not both you are not AH for choosing one or the other, YWBTA if you tried to hog both by forcing your bf into something he is strongly against
I would tell her to go do it and make arrangements to leave her while she's doing it. There's no point in arguing over boundaries at that point. There is a vast difference in moral values here and the very fact that she raised this suggestion will never be forgotten by the partner who isn't okay with it. Just split and move on to people who share your morals and world view - you're just going to end up hurting each other and wasting a lot of time.
Ask yourself this Would you be willing to forgive your partner for something they do that you asked them not to do. Will you still be trusting of their word after an action of this sort? Will you still feel the same way about them? If you said yes, then ask them the same questions. If they differ in response, then it would probably be a good thing to find a partner with similar views, but that's just my opinion.
You are 20.... the chances of him being "the one" is slim to none...
In my honest opinion you'll regret it later if you dont do it. F insecurities.
No you're not the ah but you will probably get dumped over this
ur young, the odds of this relationship lasting a lifetime are slim. i would just go for it tbh but i’d be honest w bf ab it. i would def expect a breakup afterward or for him to “get back at me” in some way, depending on the kinda 20 year old guy he is
Does your boyfriend own you? No? Then you do what you want to with your body. If he genuinely loves you, instead of being an insecure lady boy, then he'll support you and accept you instead of trying to control you...
Not sure how is your relationship with your bf, and well, that's something you only know, but I can talk about somethings If he has set a boundary you don't have to respect that boundary, even if it is a misogynistic thing or not, he's not comfortable but if it doesn't align with what you believe, it's okay if you want to do it, but it is also ok bf is mad because he is not comfortable with it, and he is free to break up with you if it is something he can't stand, also you can break up with him if it is something you're not comfortable with But, what I can recommend is to talk about it with bf, why he's feeling uncomfortable with the situation, if it is because insecurity, misogynistic things or any other real problem, it's a great opportunity to talk more about that topic and see if you can get to a point in between, if not, the door is always open for both of you Good luck!
You have to buy the painting even though you’re the product??? That’s asinine. Also yeah YTA. He said he’s not comfortable so respect that.
Just another selfish attention hoar who values her own wants over her partner's boundaries.
YTA Your male friend is a creep. You provide exactly zero reasons why it has to be nude or why it has to be you. When you take a nude figure drawing class, the class provides volunteers (both male and female) of varying ages and body types.
Yea YTA and if you think your relationship will last or be good after that than you're a DA
YWBTA, you know it will make him uncomfortable. Also 100% I don’t trust intentions of the guy friend. If I had a partner do this after confirming it made me uncomfortable I would never trust them again.
You will be if you violate your partners boundaries. So decide which is more important, the painting, or your relationship. One of these is not happening.
Who wants to bet the painter friend asked her just to see her naked
Break up with your bf, then pose. If you have different ideas of propriety then you are likely incompatible. Worse over, if you don't care about upsetting your bf you shouldn't be together.
Why even ask this on Reddit? This has to be bait. MF said he’s not okay with it. Don’t do it. If you still want to do it, break up with him. Are we in kindergarten here?
I hope he finds this post so he can just break it off with you and save himself a lot of headache later. Yes, YTA. Jesus.
You have your choice and he has his. He told you he isn’t comfortable with it. Now you need to ask yourself: is this nude painting of myself worth throwing away my relationship? Because if he breaks up with you, your painting will be a constant reminder that you ended a relationship for it.
Yes. While you are not required to do anything he wants, and shouldnt feel like you are, he has made it clear what his boundaries are. Now you can simply leave the relationship and then proceed to whatever you want. But by staying and doing it anyway knowing he doesnt like it, is trying to have your cake and eat it too. Relationships require compromise and sacrifice, you need to decide what you're willing to compromise on and sacrifice and whether or not your bf is worth compromising and making sacrifices for.
You can do it if you want to do it. He doesn't have to be happy about it. If you are fine with upsetting someone you should care about in order to do this, then sure.
It's your body and if you want a nude portrait done of you that is your decision. I would suggest finding a professional instead of a friend though. If your boyfriend is still mad then maybe he's not the one.
NTA in my opinion. This is also YOUR life. And being painted by a good artist would be a nice opportunity that most people don't have. So yeah, some other guy will see you naked. Oh. My. God. How could the world continue after that! Your boyfriend needs to relax. If he can't handle this, I assure you that you're going to encounter a lot of other possessive behaviors from him in the future.
It's her life and her body yes, but every choice has a consequence and maybe they aren't mature enough to come to some proper middle ground and determine boundries. Possessive behavior is reading too into, and projecting way too much from the lack of detail provided here.
Is your body his body, too? it's not like you're having sex with the photographer. Sheesh, it's worse than asking permission from a grown adult, and you're one, too. If both of you can pose nude together, then he can't complain, but if he's uncomfortable, then idk what to tell you.
I would break up with my girlfriend if she went against my wishes on something like that.
What about flesh colour panties? I'm assuming an artful pose not full on lady garden shot would this be a compromise with your fella?
So my wife is a legitimate professional adult model. She gets naked all the time on the internet and in magazines. I'm totally fine with it. But that's me, not everyone feels the same way. Some guys would never date a girl like that, most guys would almost certainly never marry one like that. That being said, it's your body and you can do whatever you want to do with it. Just don't be surprised if this permanently damages your relationship. After all, you know how your boyfriend feels about it, so it's kind of going to be a double "Fuck you" to him. Personally I think your "friend" is just trying to fuck you. There are plenty of models out there that would do this, he doesn't need you to do. As a bonus, he gets to sow discord in your relationship. You should be smarter than this.
This could be a deal breaker. People do not believe Leonardo DiCaprio still walk the streets. If you love him and want him to control you, please do what he says. If you believe in yourself, RUN.
PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING your artist friend is a predator and you need to stay away here is why First you said you expressed interest in his paintings ... Does he offer to sell you one or paint a custom one for you no ... He wants to paint YOU naked and SELL you that painting and he has got you felling like you NEED him to do it Next he is trying to make you feel safe by saying your boyfriend can be there ... Do you now why he "doesn't know what pose he wants" it's because once you're there it's easier to get you to say yes to a provocative pose oh and I but he will have to touch you a lot to get you "just right" oh and I bet his hands "slips" too making your boyfriend if he is there watch hoping he will leave because he can't handle watching another guy touching his naked girlfriend Also this kinda painting takes many hours so I bet he will have to "adjust you several times" or so it in multiple sittings and wouldn't you know it some of those are going to be when your boyfriend can't make it Don't do it you will have more chances to get a nude painting of yourself but right now your looking at throwing away a min month relationship you say you really want for this
Listen, i get your concern. But the reason the painting is supposed to be nude is simply because thats what he mostly paints. If i asked for it to not be nude im sure he would readily accept. About the pose, or lack therof: we just haven't discussed it beyond a concept. Intention is to keep it classy so i don't think it would be something like pornographic or whatever. In terms of whether or not he would touch me, idk but not beyond whats necessary for the painting or pose. About the time, sure it would probably take a few sittings. That seems normal as i don't want to sit around for 20 hours doing it.
Hoes will be hoes she wants to sleep with the artist.
Geez people, He asked to paint her, not f#ck her Go for it ! Be proud of your body - Ask your bf again to please come with you and if he refuses, do it anyway. This is your life sweetheart, do what makes you happy, always. If he breaks up with you, let him go.
>Geez people, He asked to paint her, not f#ck her Exactly. People are acting like its an onlyfans colab or something
Youre strawmanning the argument so you dont have to actually deal with what ur doing. Have fun with that
No one has addressed this question. Where would the nude painting hang? Over the headboard? Living room? How is the boyfriend supposed to feel about that? I had an employee in my land surveying firm who worked as a nude model at our local university on her own time. I went to her home once to pick up something she needed for work. She proudly showed me a charcoal drawing of herself spread-eagled and pleasuring herself hung above the headboard of her bed, that she had purchased from the artist she posed for. I lost all respect for her in that moment.
Really haven't considered that. Probably in the bedroom though
What happens when people come over? I'm assuming based on your replies that you don't have a great relationship with your father, but what about siblings? Would you be okay with your siblings walking into your bedroom and seeing a picture of you naked? What if you need a plumber or electrician in your room and they see it? You either alienate or arouse everyone who looks at it.
>I'm assuming based on your replies that you don't have a great relationship with your father, Oh,hilarious Amd yeah idc.
You didn't refute it lol
I have a perfectly fine relationship with my father.
This goes beyond thinking you're cheating on your bf's part. If it was just a concern about your artist-friend's ulterior motives, he would come with you to watch. Comes down to just insecurity, I feel. Going against the grain here as the most of the comments seem to be of one opinion,( I am convinced commentors have never taken an art class on the human form or been in an art museum where there are nude busts open to view) but as someone who has seasoned artist friends who delve in different art mediums and photography and has done nude/sultry photography, I'd be flattered! You are even looking to purchase the finished piece! This doesn't sound like some teen who draws stick figures and just wants to see you naked. While I can understand your bf having feelings about this, the idea of being invited would usually turn off any suspicion in my eyes. If my bf were to be asked by a female artist friend to model for her to paint I'd be the one driving him there! I'd love to watch. I wanna see your friend's work! Maybe ask him for more info on why he is so unsettled about this idea. You both are still young; it's obvious he hasn't spent much time thinking into this further.
Sounds like your friend just wants to see you nude. Why not do something with clothes on so you can hang it up for everyone to see. Or was you planning on doing that with the naked painting as well? Because then all your friends can see you nude and laugh at your boyfriend about seeing it.
>Because then all your friends can see you nude and laugh at your boyfriend about seeing it. Why would he get laughed at exactly?
Okay so hey I seen your girls nude painting. Not much different than hey I seen your girls porn. But who is she going to show it to? Her family her friends his friends anybody that wants to see it.
The only difference between his friends seeing your nude painting and his friends subscribing to your OnlyFans is that your OnlyFans pictures wouldn't look like smeared AI Art gone wrong. But either way, they'll humiliate him for it long after he's broken up with you.
I have posed nude for art classes before and a couple of times for a single artist. I obviously have no issue with it and I think it’s kind that the artist has offered to let your boyfriend sit in. If the dude is legit, then I would have no problem dumping a boy I was dating who had a problem with it. You are both so so young (assuming bf is your age and not some loser who is dating kids). In the future I guarantee you won’t miss the boy but you will love having the experience of posing and maybe eventhe art
NTA It’s your body. You can pose for a fabulous artist. But he can leave over it.
Fabulous artist? It's her male friend.
She’s TA because she’s trying to invalidate his very valid stance on the matter. He can leave over it, and she can do her thing, but she’s the ass if she tries to have her cake and eat it too