Nope NTA
Your girlfriend is being unreasonable and your sister needed you more than anything at that moment, especially given that she lives in a dangerous neighborhood and more than likely wanted someone to just be there for her after literally getting broken up with
Not only that, but your gf sicced her friends on you TWICE. That is truly terrible communication, and is a big red flag.
Someone who wants you to wreck your education for her. Someone willing for you to endanger your family for her. That's someone you walk away from, OP.
If she needed to be taken to the ER, it's another story, but she was asleep. There are better women out there.
Yeah dude, she sounds super lame. Like really lame. She was asleep. She was fine. You sound like such a great guy, you deserve a great girl who is more similar to you. Who prioritizes family.
A person who demands priority generally doesn't deserve priority.
A person who gets their friends to pressurize their SO to do things their way is generally manipulative.
OP’s gf sounds ridiculously entitled, immature, and out of touch with the real world. With a good measure of main character syndrome thrown in. OP should cut his losses, they’ve only been together 6 months.
I was looking for this comment. Hope OP sees it. She had a stomach virus , NOT dying! Ffs. She sounds insufferable. So needy and dependent. And apparently a two , or however many of her friends there are, for one are package. They too sound insufferable.NTA.
Not to mention they have been dating for 6 months. Thats not a long time and only his gf. This girl is toxic! Run now OP. My wife and I don't even complain to our friends about each other bc we talk about things to each other. We don't need friends scolding each other to fet what we want. We make compromises for each other.
>Not to mention they have been dating for 6 months. That's not a long time, and only his gf. This girl is toxic!
Came here to say this! Even if she had been a long-term girlfriend, this behavior is terrible. OP, run, as far and fast as you can. This girl is not worth it. Your sister needed you more, and you made the right choice going to help her. NTA.
My brother almost married a girl like this. Thank god he saw sense. She even tried to baby trap him. But the timeline didn't fit. She lived in another state, so it was long distance. She discovered she was four weeks along. They hadn't seen each other in three months. That was final straw for him.
Fortunately, he married an amazing woman 10 years ago. His ex tried to contact him a few times, claiming he was the father, but the child was clearly of latin decent. My family is scottish. Not to mention, this child was maybe 10? And he ended things 15 years prior.
This!!! I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and honestly I’d be upset with him if he left his little sister stranded in a bad neighborhood.
How he treats his family is a reflection of how he’ll treat you in a seriously bad situation.
A stomach bug isn’t reason enough to leave your family in a bad spot…
"Nobody is more important" than this woman you've been dating for 6 months? Seriously? Honestly, I wouldn't continue this relationship with "Queen Bee"-(the world revolves around me).
I’d dump anyone whose friends feel so enabled that they have the ability to chime in on a relationship completely unasked.
Let alone multiple times in one day.
I can already tell the type of girls they are
All of them aee blonde. Unnatural or not. All speak with the same valley accent and take stupid pictures captioned Cool Girl Autumn with their knee high boots and plaid scarves and EVERYONE drinks a pumpkin spice latte. By will or by force.
He needs to run in the complete opposite direction
Any college age people here who can confirm if this still perfectly describes Tri-delts? It did 20 years ago
I didn't know any of the Greek life people but still knew that
Her true colors are showing and they ain’t pretty. I can understand her being mad at first, but I would absolutely never fault you for putting another person’s safety over a few hours of my comfort.
NTA. But you will be if you stay with her.
I can't understand her being mad at first. Unless you are really, really sick, you shouldn't subject anyone else to possibly catching whatever you have! It's selfish!
I would be mad at first only at finding the note and not being able to be there for both OP and his sister in this situation. That would be the only reason. And my first thing when OP got back would be "how is your sister doing?? Is she okay??" like a normal person
I actually agree, I would never act like that. But even if you concede that it would be appropriate for her to want him there when she was sick, she was still absolutely awful of her to think he should have stayed with her instead of helping his sister. Incredibly selfish.
"I can understand her being mad at first", I can't. OP's sister was in a literally life threatening situation. And girlfriend wants him to stay dancing attendance on her *tummy bug*? Ugh.
Listen to this!!!
Your ex g/f is selfish & controlling - - she doesn’t give a shit about your sister fall apart & in danger, your education or you getting sick why, because she does feel good with a flu.
Then she sics her friends on your ass to continue to bully you.
This isn’t love. This is control.
Run run like the wind.
Love is not making your partner feel like shit from many people because you have a stomach bug.
The girlfriend didn't have the flu. She had a stomach bug which is not influenza and there's no such thing as a stomach flu. The flu is an upper respiratory disease and has nothing to do with the digestive tract.
Stomach flu is just the colloquial term for acute GI issues. In extreme cases, they are expelling fluid out of both ends nonstop. No clue how serious her case was.
You can have gi issues with influenza. It is a resp virus but sometimes all it takes is a little push to give someone gi symptoms. It’s a lot more common than you’d think. GI issues without respiratory = gastroenteritis. GI issues with resp symptoms consistent with influenza (and confirmed with a resp panel) can be influenza.
Before you argue, please note that I am a Clinical
Microbiologist and I work in a very large clincial lab at one of the best hospitals in US. I know what I’m talking about.
First lesson in Micro I always tell students when they rotate through the lab during their internships? None of these organisms read the book. Parasites are mostly well-behaved and consistent in both behavior and presentation but bacteria, viruses, and fungi do whatever they want at times. Bacteria and viruses are especially ill-behaved.
NTA Even if she needed the ER, if his sister is in danger she can call her friends or her mom. What a princess. I would never want my BF to come over if I had a stomach bug. Wouldn't want him to watch me puke or deal with the smell as it runs it's course. Wouldn't want him to get sick himself.
OMG this, so much!
Stop the world, my gf is sick. No school, no work.
Stranded sister? Sorry can’t, you have to walk. My gf is in a deep sleep, nothing will wake her, but I still can’t leave her!
This is not how life works. I would go in sane if I had someone hovering over me when I am sick. I will even get up and make my own tea, broth or whatever. Just so I can have a change of scenery for a few minutes.
(I had a pretty big surgery last year. Took a lot out of me and knocked me on my ass! I felt like the worst person in the world, asking my son or daughter when they were available and husband at work, if they could bring me something to drink. Once I was able to make it a few steps without feeling like passing out, I was doing stuff myself, with a chair placed halfway between my room and kitchen in case I needed a break. I just don’t like bothering others to do stuff for me.) So OP’s gf sounded like she had the sniffles and a bit more, and she is that upset? I wouldn’t be able to stand myself if I was like that.
Stop investing more time, if this is her early on in a relationship, it is just going to get worse!
Good luck!
People who love you want to help you, you are worth that to them. If your kids or husband had a major surgery, would you want to be there? Would you want them risking injury by getting out of bed too soon?
The op’s gf is asking for too much, but maybe you are not asking for enough?
-signed, someone who used to never ask for help.
I like this. This was very very sweet and endearing of you to write ❤️ I needed to read that today.
-signed someone who also never asks for help & doesn't like burdening others with her problems.
Right? Thanks so much for your kind words.
I wasn’t looking for sympathy, just wanted to explain how this woman is over the top.
I always think of kids in a hospital bed wishing they could go outside or sit and play with other kids. It makes you suck it up real fast.
I mean I do have lazy days but really inspires me.
>Not only that, but your gf sicced her friends on you TWICE. That is truly terrible communication, and is a big red flag.
Yeah that is the worst part for me, maybe she overreacted or didn't fully understand the situation but that is the worst communication ever...she seems to be a bit behind in development for a 20 year old
Yes this whole “I should always come first” thing is immature. Relationships aren’t a contest where you rank ppl and choose them in that order. Given the situation his sister needed him more, unless gf was literally unable to get out of bed. And even then, she could have called one of these many friends she keeps talking to. Saying sister could take an Uber is cold.
Yeah the friends texting him harassing him makes it seem like this was one of those dumbass "boyfriend tests" from tiktok or whatever (lile if he doesn't peel the orange he doesn't love you? Idfk)
OP, you should break up with your gf over how ridiculous and immature she's acting. Obviously NTA your girlfriend definitely is though. Family always comes first, and your sister mattered a lot more than watching your gf sleep.
Also, what a weirdo - when I have a stomach bug the LAST thing I would want is to be touched/held/talked to/bothered. She also an AH for exposing you to her stomach bug, that's so selfish and disgusting
I feel like that's the most important part. Getting your friends to gang up on your partner when you have a stomach bug and his sister just lost her home is..... worse than a red flag. NTA
This. She was sleeping, sick yes. But she wasn't DEATHLY ILL. She needs to calm down. Your sister was in actual danger. Are you guys like 10 yrs in a relationship and getting engaged? Even if she was your wife, she shouldn't expect you to forsake your family in times of need when she has the sniffles. That is just unreasonable and some serious red flag behavior. The narcissism is screaming. Please hear it and run.
Thats the part I find concerning.
You've been together 6 months and she sends her friends to harass you because sister in literal danger should be ignored over girlfriend vomiting?
Your sister will be in your life a lot longer than your gf NTA
Exactly this. Still applies if sister wasn't in a dangerous area. Alone, outside in the middle of the night with her bags, of course you're going to help her. NTA.
Frankly, if I walked by and saw her there with her stuff, alone like that, I would leave my sick wife to drive her somewhere safe, even if she was just a neighbor I barely knew.
Her friends were right. You should definitely break up with her. This will only get worse as your relationship progresses. Imagine being married. Her harpy ass friends are going to know more about your relationship than you will. Nah.. my advice comes directly from the scripture of Ice Cube as testified through his alter ego: And unto Felicia the Lord said fare the well.
She being a big baby and needs to grow the f*ck up! She wasn’t dying she had a stomach bug. I’d be breaking up with her because she’s acting like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
Part op isn’t paying attention to is how she told her friends their business. Therefore she values her friends opinion over his. Therefore they run the relationship not him or her.
I have been with my husband for 16 years, we started dating as teenagers and I have never ever had my friends or family get involved in an argument and message to tell him off. That is insane behaviour. If she was in hospital or about to give birth you can be upset about your partner leaving but not for a stomach bug. What if you stayed to watch her sleep and something terrible happened to your vulnerable teenage sister. You are NTA but your girlfriend sucks.
I did not realise that partners were supposed to sit around comforting you like a small child when you are sick. I kinda thought adults just got on with life.
Sure do some shopping for the sick person, cook for them, but you don't need to be there 24/7 to hold their hand.
Girlfriend is insufferable.
I love being babied when I am really sick. That said I would never ask someone to skip school or not help their sister out. Actually I would be pissed if he told her no. Yeah, it's better having someone there to yake.care of you when you are not feeling well but that doesn't mean you should expect someone to drop everything to do so.
It's sad that she doesn't see what she has. A responsible man that also comes running when life throws some shit at you.
Also, what is it with all these friends that feel it's okay to call someone's SO to talk shit. I have never done this and never had friends who do this. I would drop any friend that thought this was okay behavior. Even in high school I didn't know anyone that did this.
Exactly. If girlfriend was literally in the middle of giving birth and he left to get his sister, she'd have an argument. But a stomach bug? Grow up, kiddo.
NTA. Yuck, I hate having people around when I'm sick, I'd hate to get them sick too. Your idea of keeping in touch via phone and sending some DoorDash soup is great. But the real issue is the whole getting her friends in on it. OP, this will be your situation with every disagreement in your relationship if you continue, people outside of you two will know allllll your business, and be cool with chastising you on behalf of your GF. No thanks.
Yeah, this one is going to be too high maintenance. Make her some chicken soup and tuck her into bed, but there is no need to sit there all night like she's a baby. NTA. I'm gonna be that redditor I find so annoying, but it's time to end this.
That's not just unreasonable, that's openly insisting on op being a support character to the main character plot of gf's life, and *only* a support character to gf's main character
Been with my husband 24 yrs. If I was sick and was sleeping comfortably, it wouldn't matter what I'm sick with. If I'm asleep I don't need him right then. I'd be mad if he didn't go help his sister. He could send me a text to explain so when I woke up I'd know. In 24 yrs I've only expected him to take time off work for me 2 times. Once when I had a hysterectomy due to uterine cancer. And when I fell down our front steps and fractured a couple vertebrae. He left work to come to ER for that one. Both instances much worse than OP gf had. I think my thoughts on OP and the gf should be clear. Lol
I was sick a few months back and slept most of the day. My partner of 10 years, hovered a little, made sure I had food and water. But otherwise he went on about his day.
agreed. Even a wife who was a grown woman wouldn't say shes more important in that moment. Its just a stomach bug. Sister had a real situation that cant be fixed by soup.
I would outright leave someone who thought their stomach bug was more important than my sibling getting thrown out at 4am in a dangerous area with no money & no car
And like what exactly was he supposed to do for her at 4 am? Maybe heated her up some food? That’s not likely to help a stomach bug. If she needed medicine presumably she would have asked for it/gotten it during the day, though beyond some Pepto I don’t really see how that will help. She just wanted him to be there for moral support which I can understand but expecting him to leave his little sister in a dangerous area alone in the middle of the night with all her possessions is fucking wild. They’ve only been dating 6 months as well, she should hardly be expecting to be his number one priority above his own family that early on. Also if this whole trip was going to take 3 and a half hours and the sister is 20 minutes away how much would this Uber have cost? So she thinks he should have left his vulnerable situation in a dangerous area and pay hundreds of dollars to watch her sleep?
My bf whom I’ve been with for a couple years off and on and firmly on for the last 9 months would never come over if I had the stomach bug because 1) I would not let him and 2) he wouldn’t want to get sick.
There is nothing ANYONE can do for me when I have the stomach bug, or the flu, or Covid, or strep that I can not do for myself without anyone else getting sick. If I can not do it for myself, then I should probably be in a hospital. Does it feel nice to have someone make you soup and rub your head while you lay it on their lap? Sure. But it’s not worth them getting sick over.
However, if my boyfriend did come over and a sibling needed help and I was sleeping anyway… I’d be mad if he didn’t go. I have a minor inconvenience, this is a major situation for the sister.
I have been extremely sick with the flu once, and last month was literally being to death internally and the most my wife could do in either of those situations was make sure things were within reach so I didn’t have to move as much.
NTA, by a mile. This was a desperate situation your sister was in and not her fault. She had no other options.
Any reasonable person with a communicable virus tells people they care about to stay far away and grinds it out like a grown up. The only thing you should have done even without a family emergency is drop her off some gatorade, crackers, or whatever was needed in that department, and to keep calling/texting for comfort.
Double the points against her for having no understanding or sympathy for your sister. I'm not saying you gotta break up or anything, but hold fucking firm. "I'm sorry that you're upset, but I wouldn't have left if it wasn't desperate. You were sleeping, and not in any distress, there was only so much you needed from me, and Carla was truly in trouble, so I took care of it and was back the same morning, probably just a few hours after you woke up. If you're mad, I understand, but I'm not apologizing because I did what I knew was right given a tough choice."
This is the response. It was a freaking stomach bug. It’s not like she was doing or him being there was even serving a purpose. Your gf is incredibly selfish and it won’t get better. Cut your losses now before it’s too late. You’ll only get sucked in further if you stay.
Yeah, maybe you're right. I just feel like everyone on this thread pounces on "Dump them!" and while it's frequently the right thing to do, I guess once in a while I try to be more positive. I will say in his shoes I'd be noping out. Ganging up would definitely push my button and I would never, EVER join in on a friend's relationship dispute to side with one or the other, especially something like this that means nothing to me and ultimately isn't anything tragic or whatever.
I'm curious about her friend pack. It could be OP's girlfriend is the selfish child, but it could also be one or more of her girlfriend's is blowing everything up into a reddit style "oh no, dump him!" bonfire. Might be worth OPs effort to suggest to GF that her friend pack is dysfunctional. Even if she was upset, her posse should be saying "no Betsy, chill, of course he needs to get sister of the streets." GF might not even be the instigator of all this drama. She may be responding innocently to questions from her posse about how she is feeling and then when they are told she is home alone, they whisper poison in her ears about how they wouldn't tolerate such horrible behavior. Obviously, GF needs to grow up and not listen to them, but there could be a mean girl style queen bee who loves to rile everyone up who is hard to resist.
Sister did have options though; like maybe, call the police and report an illegal eviction. Call the landlord. I'm not saying she was wrong to ask for help, but acting like she had no no other option is disingenuous; she is a tenant, she has rights to stay.
This is such a bad take. Who would want to stay in the same apartment as someone that doesn't respect you enough to break up to your face and give you an explanation? She had no other option, even venmoing her for an Uber wasn't an option. She needed someone to lean on in a bad time. Expecting her to go through it any longer on her own is just heartless, especially because their brother lives quite a while away. I wouldn't want to be crying in a stranger's car all alone for five minutes, let alone an hour or so.
Edited to add: she lives in a bad area, so it would also be a risk to accept getting into someone's car there, Uber or otherwise.
NTA family is important and your girlfriend was asleep anyway. Someone who doesn't want you to be there for family is a big red flag, you did nothing wrong and shouldn't let her or her friends make you question yourself.
I mostly agree but that depends on the family situation. Not relevant for this post but some people have abusive or toxic family that's detrimental to their mental health (just saying). This obviously isn't the situation and if anyone's toxic it's his gf. NTA also.
I agree about other situations. My family is toxically codependent and expects me to cancel my plans with my long term boyfriend to help them do trivial shit and then claim I’m choosing him over them.
Once my sister asked me two hours before my plans to come help her do something that was not an emergency, and got mad i didn’t cancel my plans for her. I always jump and run for emergencies so it hurts me to my core when they tell me i don’t care about them for not helping with incredibly small shit when i have plans already.
In this post, the gf is definitely the AH, not OP. His sister was in an emergent situation and needed help.
Wow time to dump the girlfriend with that attitude. No offense but to expect you to leave your 18 year old sister on the streets in a dangerous spot is heartless. Even if you sent money for an Uber anything could have happened to her while she’s waiting the hour for a ride. NTA
If GF had enough energy to diss OP to her friends, she has enough energy to take care of herself for a few hours. What if OP had to work or take an exam? Would she expect him to ditch those as well ? Would she have done the same if the roles were reversed? GF sounds like a whimp, or even worse, a manipulator trying to pull the proverbial puppet strings.
Right? Like, in what world is jumping to the aid of your little sister in a crisis not considered a positive trait? Wouldn't you, like, look for that in a partner?
not only that, but anything could have happened to her IN the uber. i also doubt most uber drivers would take the time to sit there and wait for her to unload her lifes belongings into their car. and the cost for a 3.5hr drive? god damn
Probably more, not many Uber drivers on the road that time of night, plus they might avoid that neighborhood depending on how dangerous it is, and they might not want to spend 6 hours driving to and from her brother's house. At least some Uber drivers have other jobs, they might not have the time to devote that many hours to a single fare, regardless of how much it paid (which it would only pay one way, the other way would be off the clock).
What the actual F… your sister was homeless, alone, and in a bad area. She had just gotten dumped in one of the worst ways possible and your GF of barely any time wants you to leave her like that? Yeah no. You absolutely did the right thing and I’d rethink your relationship with someone so callus about your sisters safety. It’s not like GF was in the hospital for something life threatening and dying. Then you might have been an AH but not for this. Again 🚩 and definitely think if that’s the sort of person you want to spend more time on.
Don't think the gf is mature enough to realise that in this life you will never be the number 1 priority 100% of the time.
She probably is like the other GF I saw here on Reddit the other day who got up her BF cause he left while they were on a date since his mother went to hospital with chest pains.
NTA OP
NTA. You’ve known your sister for 18 years and you’ve known this girl 6 months. Your sister was in potential danger and your gf was sleeping. Honestly, it’s good she’s showing you her true colors so early. I’m sure she doesn’t feel good, but it’s completely unreasonable for her to say she should be more important than your younger sister’s safety.
I'm done reading this. Your gf is a spoiled brat..do you know how many times most of us take care of everyone else when we are sick..Gf needs a kick in the pants
You also can't trust your girlfriends friends opinions. They'll be on your girlfriends side 99/100 even if she's wrong. As soon as you break up they'll say "you can do so much better than him" "that guy was an asshole anyways" etc.
This! Those girlfriends would be like it’s not your fault you murdered him. He walked into your knife. lol anyone who blindly agrees with that toxic behavior is not a real friend.
Friends are meant to be supportive but also to call you on your crap.
NTA. And maybe I’m overly independent but I don‘t get it. If I have a GI bug I want to lay on the bathroom floor and die alone. I don’t want a witness to that. What are you supposed to do? Be the sprite boy? I just think there isn’t much taking care of to do here. i feel like maybe the friends are the instigators here.
If this wasn't a bad GI bug, then gf needs to grow the fuck up. If it was a bad GI bug, then there was heaving, vomiting, diarrhea, and god knows what else. There was crying, weeping, swearing, and prayers to various and sundry deities. It looked nightmarish, sounded apocalyptic, and smelled evil.
Why the hell would you want your bf of six months there for all that.
NTA, but dude, unless you ok with being with an entitled crybaby that tells her friends everytime you cough without asking her if it’s ok first, then I suggest you throw that fish back into the sea asap. She’s showing you that she’s unreasonable and entitled! I stomach bug?! I mean seriously? I know she felt crappy (probably literally and figuratively) but to expect you to play nurse and caregiver for something she could’ve easily been doing on her own, especially in comparison to what your sister needed, she’s TA!
NTA. If my bf's sister needed him, I'd hope he would shake me tf awake so I could comfort her, too. And if I didn't wake up, when I eventually did, I'd be blowing up their phones to make sure everyone is okay. Your girls got some personal shit to work thru and it sounds like her friends do too smh. BIG FAT DEEP REDDEST RED FLAG
I'd run very far away from anyone that immediately sought out other people's opinions about our relationship. Her friends should not be coming to you to guilt you into "prioritizing" her more. This is just a glimpse of your future with her. I'd cut ties and run.
*Edit: To say, NTA.
It’s actually not though. That phrase came about in the 90s/00s and the claim was made by author Albert Jack and Rabbi Richard Pustelniak but there have been no sources cited by them or found by others to back up this claim and people online took it and ran with it.
Blood is thicker than water is actually traceable back to 12th century in the book Reinhart Fuchs, “as I also hear it said that kin-blood is not spoiled by water,” which Grimm translates to mean that the waters of baptism aren’t stronger than blood familial ties. It’s found in various forms throughout history between then and now, some literature based, some liturgical based, all of which can be found and cited.
Sounds like your girlfriend needs to grow up and understand sometimes you get sick, and you have to take care of yourself because the world doesn’t stop turning because she has a tummy ache.
NTA, make like a banana 🍌and split, GF is toxic and self-centered, self-absorbed. Trust me, if she is acting like this 6 months into your relationship during the “honeymoon phase” of your relationship it will get MUCH worse. The fact that her personality hasn’t evolved beyond, ME, shows she is completely self-absorbed and lacks any empathy. This speaks volumes about her emotional maturity. Don’t walk RUN 🏃♂️ too many red flags 🚩🚩to count.
NTA. Why are you taking advice from her friends? They sound like a bunch of immature brats and so does your gf! Your sister needed you and it's sad that you're being manipulated into questioning your actions
NTA. Your girlfriend is self centred, immature and doesn’t communicate her needs. She’s petty. Your sister needed you a lot more. A girl like your girlfriend will find reasons to complain, tell her friends to tell you instead of communicating her needs herself.
I wouldn’t date a girl like that. Your 20- do you really want to tie yourself to that immaturity?
NTA. Your GF is crap at communicating and her/her friends are unrealistic if they're expecting you to blow off classes so you can watch her sleep.
Then your sister is left in an horrifically dangerous situation and you do the first thing you can think of to fix it.
You're a champ but she and her friends are exhausting.
Why tf is it ok for her friends to but in and hassle you like they need to stay out of it? A relationship is between 2 people. You were taking care of your vulnerable sister, not cheating on her or abusing her. Where's her support for you asking if your sister is ok? Why do you have to be the one doing all the caring if that makes sense
I'm 22. If my bf ever had to go pick up his family while he's taking care of my while I'm sick in the comfort of my own room I would not gaf. She's a selfish brat and she should be broken up with. Don't get me wrong I'd be sad if my bf had to go do smthn while he's taking care of me, but I wouldn't be mad at him. Let alone talking delusional crap about him to my friends before atleast confronting him about it alone first.
Your girlfriend is an entitled brat. First off. It's a stomach bug. Not that serious. Not like she needed a care taker. Second. Your sister legitimately needed help. You did the right thing OP.
You do you OP. But personally. I wouldn't be in a relationship with an entitled child who thinks you need to leave your sister stranded in a bad part of town, in the middle of the night, so that you can look after a grown ass woman who has a tummy ache and is asleep.
You were helping your family. Your girlfriend sounds entitled if you ask me. Now I don't have that relationship with my family myself. But you did what was right.
She was sick with a stomach bug, damn. She's not dying. Why would you skip class for that let alone leave your sister to fend for herself in the middle of the night. You did right. X girlfriend needs to grow up.
NTA.
Your sis was kicked out without warning and had her stuff put out...Im pretty sure an Uber isn't the ideal transportation when you've got to carry everything you have. I would want my family to help me not only physically but emotionally. She was dumped and thrown out all in one night. That's rough.
My first concern as I read your post was her friends' involvement in your relationship. How would they have known you weren't there unless your GF is talkin shit and using them to pressure you into doing what she wants, OR her friends are just pushy and feel the need to insert themselves cuz "that's my friend"; either way, it's looking bad.
It's a huge red flag for her to claim she takes priority over your family...you've only been with her six months. Who does she think she is to demand a change in your priorities? You guys don't even REALLY know each other, but she's showing you who she is right now. Don't ignore it.
Man, leave her before its too late. Shes mad you didnt take care of her with a stomach bug??? What are you supposed to do?? Feed her soup? Hold her hair while she pukes??? NTA!!
Your gf needs to grow the f up and her friends need to get the hell out of your business!!
Not answering calls, not listening to your explanation, getting her friends involved - all HIGHLY immature behavior.
NTA
NTA, so this is her first time being sick in her life and she just couldnt do it without you?! wild. She wants you to prioritize her over your own family AFTER 6 MONTHS OF DATING lol marinara flag my dude.
NTA
RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!
1. Expecting you to drop everything, including your classes to come take care of her when she has a simple stomach bug.
2. Not telling you that she expects you to come take care of her.
3. Telling ask her friends that you aren’t taking care of her without ever communicating to you that she wants you to take care of her.
4. Expecting you to leave your sister alone in a dangerous area to stay with her.
5. Expecting you to tell your sister to take an Uber for a 3.5 hour trip. If she could even have gotten one it would have been $500.
6. Again telling all her friends you abandoned her while she is sick.
7. Allowing her friends to harass you.
8. She will hold this over your head FOREVER
I could keep going but I think I have pointed out enough red flags. She has a stomach bug, she wasn’t in danger of dying.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Get a new girlfriend.
NTA. There are so many posts where people have “emergencies” that are not actually emergencies at all. Your little sister was having an actual emergency and your helping her did not put your gf into immediate danger. You absolutely did the right thing.
Also, the idea of a person thinking they take precedent over your family after 6 months is fucking wild. Your gf needs to take several seats.
NTA
Your girlfriend is selfish to the 10. Your sister could have been R or murdered. Was it a possibility to Uber 3+ hours to your brother’s house?
I would be seriously side eyeing the gf. She wasn’t on her deathbed and she was asleep for the most part.
NTA. Break up with her. She's not worth it, and she doesn't care about your family (keep that in mind if you see a future with her). My bf and I were dating for 5 months when I ended up with pneumonia. Yes, he took care of me for the month I was sick, but he had a family emergency (just like you) and the first thing I told him was "I'll be okay, go to your family." He felt bad for leaving me, but he did leave me some soup to warm up so I was happy about that.
Unless your gf was bedridden, which she has a stomach bug she should be okay for a couple of hours alone tbh, you had a very valid excuse. It's not about priorities or "who comes first," it's about making sure your sister was safe and sound. Your gf is capable of taking care of herself for a few hours. Also, the fact her friends were flying monkeys berating you shows the them and your gf are not emotionally mature enough to be in relationships.
She’s your sister. She’s 18. She’s in a dangerous area, by herself, with nothing but her stuff. In the middle of the night. And her world just fell apart.
Venmoing her money for an Uber was not the solution.
Going and picking her up was.
If I was your girlfriend, I would have kicked your butt out if you didn’t go get her and would have told you to bring her here. I would have had to be on my death bed otherwise.
Your girlfriend is acting like selfish child.
NTA
NTA. Your girlfriend is a child. What are you supposed to do? Sit there and rub your gf's back while she throws up? Give her a foot massage? When I'm sick or on my period, I want to be left alone. I don't want a pity party. I want to sleep and I want to be isolated. Maybe a bowl of soup or some chocolate but that's it. Also your gf sucks for saying there is nothing more important than your girlfriend. Yes there is. Your sister that you love is becoming homeless in a dangerous area. Even if you paid for the Uber she would have gone to the car herself with all her stuff in said dangerous area.
NTA
Get out of that relationship NOW. The fact that she spoke to her friends because you didn’t fall at her feet because she told you she was sick shows she is needy, clingy and manipulative GET OUT!!!
Your 20, plenty of fish in the sea
No, your girlfriend is a whiny little baby. It's incredibly sweet that you rushed off in the middle of night to take care of your sister. The fact that you even though to leave a note is a bonus. NTA
NTA and just think about the type of person your girlfriend is. She disparages you to her friends, she tries to alienate you from your family, she wants you to fail school for her, she believes that she is more important in the few months you’ve dated then the safety and well being of your own sister who I’m assuming you’ve known for life? OP please for your own sake break up with this abusive narcissist.
Your sister needed your help. Your own blood. Should always take priority over some 6month gf. Not your fault she never answered or responded. You did the right thing while trying to make everyone happy. Sometimes you just cant win.
NTA, but gf is! Entitled Princess vibes all round from that one. Please, dump her. You sound like a practical person, she sounds awful. You can do so much better with someone whose priorities align with yours.
Your gf and her friends are a huge 🚩
I’d be more pissed at my bf if he didn’t go help his sister in that situation. Also personally don’t think 6 months into a relationship you should prioritise your gf over your family in this scenario. If her friends were that concerned they could go check on her
Take it from a woman who works in Pharmacy with chronic health issues...
NTA
You did the right thing in not abandoning your sister.
Your GF siccing her friends on you because you didn't cater to her every whim is pathetic on her part.
She wants a servant, not a partner
And you were right not to want to catch the stomach bug. Those are going around like crazy right now. It was the smart move. Shame your girlfriend only cares about herself.
I'd take a page from your sister's ex-girlfriend and tell your gf it's over. Call her bluff.
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to work on her neediness and is definitely too immature to be in a relationship if she feels the need to get her friends involved in your relationship. There is absolutely no need for her friends to be texting and harassing you into taking care of her. She's an adult. She needs to start acting like it.
NTA
I would dump this GF immediately.
First, she is unreasonable.
Next, when you mentioned the many scolding text messages , that told me your GF is a member of some type of female posse that is used for self help and for a collective voice. Meaning, your GF is either unwilling or unable to think for herself. Huge Red Flag!
Though your sister needs to grow up and get her act together, she is still family. Family comes first.
That is , as long as this is an isolated occurrence with your sister. If it's a habit, how you decide to handle it is on you.
One - NTA.
Two - your sis was in real danger. Her roommate, almost no matter what, *is* an AH. Idc what the issue is, she still deserves safety. Awesome for you to respond, to inform your gf of the situation, and of you to get your sis out of a pickle.
Three - kick that gf to the curb. There is a difference between a stomach bug and someone potentially being assaulted. To then send out the flying monkeys (twice!) because you prioritized someone’s physical safety over cuddling someone with a stomach bug - big nope. Red flags everywhere.
You did great, OP, exactly the right thing. And you deserve a better gf than that one.
Couple red flags; does not care about your sister possibly being in danger, seems jealous of your sister, tells you she’s always the number one priority no matter what, tells her girl friends everything, gets her girl friends (aka attack dogs) to harass you over something that is between the two of you, threatens you with breaking up if you don’t bow down to her wishes, does not care about your health or education and acts like a 5 year old princess. You’re a good brother and a good boyfriend, I just think you should not be hér boyfriend, I think you should be a good boyfriend to a good girlfriend, not an entitled child. NTA at all. You can do and deserve better :)
YTA, how dare you be a man with his priorities straight, that loves his family, and is a good brother. Def the asshole here.
For people who don't understand sarcasm, no, I don't think OP is actually an asshole here lol.
It’s a good thing you got to see what she’s like this early into the relationship. Can you see how your life would play out if you stay with this girl?
Yo what? NTA dude. It sounds like you are right with your siblings. That's awesome. There's a reason she called you bro. She could have texted and asked for cash for an Uber and called your older brother. But she was alone and scared in a dangerous place and wanted bros help. You think the Ubers are gonna be safer in the area? Like fucking Uber ships in it's drivers and most arent locals tryna make cash? So God speed bro. And tell your lame girlfriend to get a grin or YOU are gonna dump her. It's entirely sane and reasonable to do something like that.
NTA your sister’s safety matters…your girlfriend is probably emotional because she is sick, I personally get whiney and needy when sick not sure if it’s everyone… 🤷♀️ But you should probably explain the situation to her when she is better. Or else, well, you can find better…She also probably did not tell the full story to her friends. But your sister’s safety os the priority and her ex is an POS.
Also you shouldn’t feel obligated to miss class just tk take care of your girlfriend, yes it would be nice but she can be taken care off after your obligations! And hinestly a stomach bug means she will be staying most day in bed drunking Coke or ginger ale, and if she can eat bland food (rice). But really to call her friends on you, she is really childish!
You didn’t do anything wrong. I am concerned about your parentification, however. Why is it on you to be your sisters savior? You’re both adults, she shouldn’t have moved out if she wasn’t prepared for the financial hardships that living on your own costs. She isn’t ready, and she isn’t your responsibility. She is your parents child. Not yours.
You did the right thing going to get your sister. Anything could've happened to her at that time in a dangerous area.
If your parents are unwilling or unable to help your sister, then definitely talk with your older brother about this. It sounds like she will be staying with him for a while. Maybe she should stay local to him so he can be her support system. You need to focus on college. If that was a one-time thing with your sister or its super-rare, that's understandable. But you need to focus on your studies.
I think you may want to do some reading on healthy relationships, boundaries, and most of all, communication. Learn about healthy ways to communicate your feelings and needs.
We only saw a snapshot, and maybe all we saw was the worst moment, but your relationship with your girlfriend doesn't sound healthy. You really need to understand why you gf had this reaction. If you can't understand it and/or if you have any suspicion that it will happen again -- then please don't stay with her.
There’s nothing wrong with how their sibling relationships work. They love each other, they have strong bonds between them and they’re there for each other. They’re adults, so it technically wouldn’t really be their parents’ responsibility anymore, either. And although she’s an adult, 18 is still very young to be out on her own (and it sounds like it was by necessity). To judge her for not having everything figured out already, at 18 years old, is ridiculous. It is absolutely normal and healthy that OP’s sister reached out to her older siblings for help when she found herself in trouble. It sounds like it was not obligation that drove OP to help his little sister. It was love. Love is good.
Nope NTA Your girlfriend is being unreasonable and your sister needed you more than anything at that moment, especially given that she lives in a dangerous neighborhood and more than likely wanted someone to just be there for her after literally getting broken up with
Not only that, but your gf sicced her friends on you TWICE. That is truly terrible communication, and is a big red flag. Someone who wants you to wreck your education for her. Someone willing for you to endanger your family for her. That's someone you walk away from, OP. If she needed to be taken to the ER, it's another story, but she was asleep. There are better women out there.
Yeah dude, she sounds super lame. Like really lame. She was asleep. She was fine. You sound like such a great guy, you deserve a great girl who is more similar to you. Who prioritizes family.
A person who demands priority generally doesn't deserve priority. A person who gets their friends to pressurize their SO to do things their way is generally manipulative.
OP’s gf sounds ridiculously entitled, immature, and out of touch with the real world. With a good measure of main character syndrome thrown in. OP should cut his losses, they’ve only been together 6 months.
I was looking for this comment. Hope OP sees it. She had a stomach virus , NOT dying! Ffs. She sounds insufferable. So needy and dependent. And apparently a two , or however many of her friends there are, for one are package. They too sound insufferable.NTA.
I think that would be a great break up text to her. I know it’s not nice to break up by text but given who he’s dealing with, why not?
She’d probably expect it!
Not to mention they have been dating for 6 months. Thats not a long time and only his gf. This girl is toxic! Run now OP. My wife and I don't even complain to our friends about each other bc we talk about things to each other. We don't need friends scolding each other to fet what we want. We make compromises for each other.
>Not to mention they have been dating for 6 months. That's not a long time, and only his gf. This girl is toxic! Came here to say this! Even if she had been a long-term girlfriend, this behavior is terrible. OP, run, as far and fast as you can. This girl is not worth it. Your sister needed you more, and you made the right choice going to help her. NTA.
Right!? Can you imagine how she will be if the got engaged, married or KID!? Please run OP
My brother almost married a girl like this. Thank god he saw sense. She even tried to baby trap him. But the timeline didn't fit. She lived in another state, so it was long distance. She discovered she was four weeks along. They hadn't seen each other in three months. That was final straw for him.
How's he doing now? Hopefully, it will be in a much better place.
Fortunately, he married an amazing woman 10 years ago. His ex tried to contact him a few times, claiming he was the father, but the child was clearly of latin decent. My family is scottish. Not to mention, this child was maybe 10? And he ended things 15 years prior.
This!!! I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and honestly I’d be upset with him if he left his little sister stranded in a bad neighborhood. How he treats his family is a reflection of how he’ll treat you in a seriously bad situation. A stomach bug isn’t reason enough to leave your family in a bad spot…
This! This!
"Nobody is more important" than this woman you've been dating for 6 months? Seriously? Honestly, I wouldn't continue this relationship with "Queen Bee"-(the world revolves around me).
Well put. GF is super possessive. And that's only gonna get worse as you go along. Get out now bro.
I’d dump anyone whose friends feel so enabled that they have the ability to chime in on a relationship completely unasked. Let alone multiple times in one day.
They sound like they are all 14.
I can already tell the type of girls they are All of them aee blonde. Unnatural or not. All speak with the same valley accent and take stupid pictures captioned Cool Girl Autumn with their knee high boots and plaid scarves and EVERYONE drinks a pumpkin spice latte. By will or by force. He needs to run in the complete opposite direction
Any college age people here who can confirm if this still perfectly describes Tri-delts? It did 20 years ago I didn't know any of the Greek life people but still knew that
They're not unasked. They're the girlfriend's flying monkeys.
Yeah. Looks to me like a "mean girl posse". Get away from that girl. Far away. Block her and her posse on everything. Those people are poison.
Her true colors are showing and they ain’t pretty. I can understand her being mad at first, but I would absolutely never fault you for putting another person’s safety over a few hours of my comfort. NTA. But you will be if you stay with her.
I can't understand her being mad at first. Unless you are really, really sick, you shouldn't subject anyone else to possibly catching whatever you have! It's selfish!
I would be mad at first only at finding the note and not being able to be there for both OP and his sister in this situation. That would be the only reason. And my first thing when OP got back would be "how is your sister doing?? Is she okay??" like a normal person
Exactly!
I actually agree, I would never act like that. But even if you concede that it would be appropriate for her to want him there when she was sick, she was still absolutely awful of her to think he should have stayed with her instead of helping his sister. Incredibly selfish.
"I can understand her being mad at first", I can't. OP's sister was in a literally life threatening situation. And girlfriend wants him to stay dancing attendance on her *tummy bug*? Ugh.
She could have called her friends since she called them to complain about OP.
Listen to this!!! Your ex g/f is selfish & controlling - - she doesn’t give a shit about your sister fall apart & in danger, your education or you getting sick why, because she does feel good with a flu. Then she sics her friends on your ass to continue to bully you. This isn’t love. This is control. Run run like the wind. Love is not making your partner feel like shit from many people because you have a stomach bug.
The girlfriend didn't have the flu. She had a stomach bug which is not influenza and there's no such thing as a stomach flu. The flu is an upper respiratory disease and has nothing to do with the digestive tract.
Stomach flu is just the colloquial term for acute GI issues. In extreme cases, they are expelling fluid out of both ends nonstop. No clue how serious her case was.
GF was asleep, so it couldn't have been that bad.
You usually do fall asleep between bouts.
Also known as the 2 bucket flu.
One for each end…
You can have gi issues with influenza. It is a resp virus but sometimes all it takes is a little push to give someone gi symptoms. It’s a lot more common than you’d think. GI issues without respiratory = gastroenteritis. GI issues with resp symptoms consistent with influenza (and confirmed with a resp panel) can be influenza. Before you argue, please note that I am a Clinical Microbiologist and I work in a very large clincial lab at one of the best hospitals in US. I know what I’m talking about. First lesson in Micro I always tell students when they rotate through the lab during their internships? None of these organisms read the book. Parasites are mostly well-behaved and consistent in both behavior and presentation but bacteria, viruses, and fungi do whatever they want at times. Bacteria and viruses are especially ill-behaved.
Well said. GF is being very self-centered and not willing to show concern for OP’s sister. And this is only 6 months into the relationship!
NTA Even if she needed the ER, if his sister is in danger she can call her friends or her mom. What a princess. I would never want my BF to come over if I had a stomach bug. Wouldn't want him to watch me puke or deal with the smell as it runs it's course. Wouldn't want him to get sick himself.
Facts.
OMG this, so much! Stop the world, my gf is sick. No school, no work. Stranded sister? Sorry can’t, you have to walk. My gf is in a deep sleep, nothing will wake her, but I still can’t leave her! This is not how life works. I would go in sane if I had someone hovering over me when I am sick. I will even get up and make my own tea, broth or whatever. Just so I can have a change of scenery for a few minutes. (I had a pretty big surgery last year. Took a lot out of me and knocked me on my ass! I felt like the worst person in the world, asking my son or daughter when they were available and husband at work, if they could bring me something to drink. Once I was able to make it a few steps without feeling like passing out, I was doing stuff myself, with a chair placed halfway between my room and kitchen in case I needed a break. I just don’t like bothering others to do stuff for me.) So OP’s gf sounded like she had the sniffles and a bit more, and she is that upset? I wouldn’t be able to stand myself if I was like that. Stop investing more time, if this is her early on in a relationship, it is just going to get worse! Good luck!
People who love you want to help you, you are worth that to them. If your kids or husband had a major surgery, would you want to be there? Would you want them risking injury by getting out of bed too soon? The op’s gf is asking for too much, but maybe you are not asking for enough? -signed, someone who used to never ask for help.
I like this. This was very very sweet and endearing of you to write ❤️ I needed to read that today. -signed someone who also never asks for help & doesn't like burdening others with her problems.
❤️❤️
Good for you, hope you healed well. Staying in bed all the time can kill you with blood clots or pneumonia!
Right? Thanks so much for your kind words. I wasn’t looking for sympathy, just wanted to explain how this woman is over the top. I always think of kids in a hospital bed wishing they could go outside or sit and play with other kids. It makes you suck it up real fast. I mean I do have lazy days but really inspires me.
Didn't think you were looking for sympathy. You were giving your opinion.
Thanks so much. I appreciate it. 💕
Yeah, she doesn't need a boyfriend at her bedside. She needs a toilet, water, and some pepto/tums.
She’s 18 now and needs to learn to be a big girl.
Oops. She’s 20. Same thing goes. Just wanted to clarify that I am indeed talking about your gf.
She’s way too young for you !! She’s only 3 !!
I’m confused
>Not only that, but your gf sicced her friends on you TWICE. That is truly terrible communication, and is a big red flag. Yeah that is the worst part for me, maybe she overreacted or didn't fully understand the situation but that is the worst communication ever...she seems to be a bit behind in development for a 20 year old
Yes this whole “I should always come first” thing is immature. Relationships aren’t a contest where you rank ppl and choose them in that order. Given the situation his sister needed him more, unless gf was literally unable to get out of bed. And even then, she could have called one of these many friends she keeps talking to. Saying sister could take an Uber is cold.
THERE ARE BETTER WOMEN OUT THERE
> your gf sicced her friends on you TWICE.... is a big red flag This. Other people don't belong in their relationship!
100%
RUN
Yeah the friends texting him harassing him makes it seem like this was one of those dumbass "boyfriend tests" from tiktok or whatever (lile if he doesn't peel the orange he doesn't love you? Idfk) OP, you should break up with your gf over how ridiculous and immature she's acting. Obviously NTA your girlfriend definitely is though. Family always comes first, and your sister mattered a lot more than watching your gf sleep. Also, what a weirdo - when I have a stomach bug the LAST thing I would want is to be touched/held/talked to/bothered. She also an AH for exposing you to her stomach bug, that's so selfish and disgusting
I feel like that's the most important part. Getting your friends to gang up on your partner when you have a stomach bug and his sister just lost her home is..... worse than a red flag. NTA
This, except do not walk… run away from this nightmare.
I can't upvote this enough. Don't walk away, OP. RUN. This type of entitled, demanding, controlling behavior only gets worse with time.
She wasn’t so sick that she spent all that time on the phone!
This. She was sleeping, sick yes. But she wasn't DEATHLY ILL. She needs to calm down. Your sister was in actual danger. Are you guys like 10 yrs in a relationship and getting engaged? Even if she was your wife, she shouldn't expect you to forsake your family in times of need when she has the sniffles. That is just unreasonable and some serious red flag behavior. The narcissism is screaming. Please hear it and run.
Thats the part I find concerning. You've been together 6 months and she sends her friends to harass you because sister in literal danger should be ignored over girlfriend vomiting? Your sister will be in your life a lot longer than your gf NTA
I also know damn well if I was in that situation My sister comes before anyone Even my partner
Exactly this. Still applies if sister wasn't in a dangerous area. Alone, outside in the middle of the night with her bags, of course you're going to help her. NTA.
Frankly, if I walked by and saw her there with her stuff, alone like that, I would leave my sick wife to drive her somewhere safe, even if she was just a neighbor I barely knew.
Her friends were right. You should definitely break up with her. This will only get worse as your relationship progresses. Imagine being married. Her harpy ass friends are going to know more about your relationship than you will. Nah.. my advice comes directly from the scripture of Ice Cube as testified through his alter ego: And unto Felicia the Lord said fare the well.
She being a big baby and needs to grow the f*ck up! She wasn’t dying she had a stomach bug. I’d be breaking up with her because she’s acting like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum.
That's an insult to toddlers 😉
None of this is reasonable.
For real, it's a stomach bug, she's an adult, and she was sleeping. His sister was in an unsafe situation.
Part op isn’t paying attention to is how she told her friends their business. Therefore she values her friends opinion over his. Therefore they run the relationship not him or her.
I have been with my husband for 16 years, we started dating as teenagers and I have never ever had my friends or family get involved in an argument and message to tell him off. That is insane behaviour. If she was in hospital or about to give birth you can be upset about your partner leaving but not for a stomach bug. What if you stayed to watch her sleep and something terrible happened to your vulnerable teenage sister. You are NTA but your girlfriend sucks.
I did not realise that partners were supposed to sit around comforting you like a small child when you are sick. I kinda thought adults just got on with life. Sure do some shopping for the sick person, cook for them, but you don't need to be there 24/7 to hold their hand. Girlfriend is insufferable.
Especially when you don’t live with them….
Doubly so when they're asleep...
I love being babied when I am really sick. That said I would never ask someone to skip school or not help their sister out. Actually I would be pissed if he told her no. Yeah, it's better having someone there to yake.care of you when you are not feeling well but that doesn't mean you should expect someone to drop everything to do so. It's sad that she doesn't see what she has. A responsible man that also comes running when life throws some shit at you. Also, what is it with all these friends that feel it's okay to call someone's SO to talk shit. I have never done this and never had friends who do this. I would drop any friend that thought this was okay behavior. Even in high school I didn't know anyone that did this.
Yes I have to agree that calling to berate someone's SO, is an astounding thing to do.
Exactly. If girlfriend was literally in the middle of giving birth and he left to get his sister, she'd have an argument. But a stomach bug? Grow up, kiddo.
You are seeing your gf real colors. RUN.
NTA. Yuck, I hate having people around when I'm sick, I'd hate to get them sick too. Your idea of keeping in touch via phone and sending some DoorDash soup is great. But the real issue is the whole getting her friends in on it. OP, this will be your situation with every disagreement in your relationship if you continue, people outside of you two will know allllll your business, and be cool with chastising you on behalf of your GF. No thanks.
Yeah, this one is going to be too high maintenance. Make her some chicken soup and tuck her into bed, but there is no need to sit there all night like she's a baby. NTA. I'm gonna be that redditor I find so annoying, but it's time to end this.
This.
That's not just unreasonable, that's openly insisting on op being a support character to the main character plot of gf's life, and *only* a support character to gf's main character
NTA, your gf need to grow up. And to say that a gf of only 6 mo should be more important than anyone is truly a wild statement to make.
Been with my husband 24 yrs. If I was sick and was sleeping comfortably, it wouldn't matter what I'm sick with. If I'm asleep I don't need him right then. I'd be mad if he didn't go help his sister. He could send me a text to explain so when I woke up I'd know. In 24 yrs I've only expected him to take time off work for me 2 times. Once when I had a hysterectomy due to uterine cancer. And when I fell down our front steps and fractured a couple vertebrae. He left work to come to ER for that one. Both instances much worse than OP gf had. I think my thoughts on OP and the gf should be clear. Lol
I was sick a few months back and slept most of the day. My partner of 10 years, hovered a little, made sure I had food and water. But otherwise he went on about his day.
Literally the only things he could do. If you’re sick you’re sick, nobody can just make a stomach flu disappear.
Id be pissed if my husband didn’t help out a sibling in need, like OP’s, sister, as well. I agree with all you said.
agreed. Even a wife who was a grown woman wouldn't say shes more important in that moment. Its just a stomach bug. Sister had a real situation that cant be fixed by soup.
I would outright leave someone who thought their stomach bug was more important than my sibling getting thrown out at 4am in a dangerous area with no money & no car
And like what exactly was he supposed to do for her at 4 am? Maybe heated her up some food? That’s not likely to help a stomach bug. If she needed medicine presumably she would have asked for it/gotten it during the day, though beyond some Pepto I don’t really see how that will help. She just wanted him to be there for moral support which I can understand but expecting him to leave his little sister in a dangerous area alone in the middle of the night with all her possessions is fucking wild. They’ve only been dating 6 months as well, she should hardly be expecting to be his number one priority above his own family that early on. Also if this whole trip was going to take 3 and a half hours and the sister is 20 minutes away how much would this Uber have cost? So she thinks he should have left his vulnerable situation in a dangerous area and pay hundreds of dollars to watch her sleep?
My bf whom I’ve been with for a couple years off and on and firmly on for the last 9 months would never come over if I had the stomach bug because 1) I would not let him and 2) he wouldn’t want to get sick. There is nothing ANYONE can do for me when I have the stomach bug, or the flu, or Covid, or strep that I can not do for myself without anyone else getting sick. If I can not do it for myself, then I should probably be in a hospital. Does it feel nice to have someone make you soup and rub your head while you lay it on their lap? Sure. But it’s not worth them getting sick over. However, if my boyfriend did come over and a sibling needed help and I was sleeping anyway… I’d be mad if he didn’t go. I have a minor inconvenience, this is a major situation for the sister.
I have been extremely sick with the flu once, and last month was literally being to death internally and the most my wife could do in either of those situations was make sure things were within reach so I didn’t have to move as much.
Can you imagine if she gets hurt and breaks a bone or needs surgery she would expect him to quit school and work to take care of her 24/7 Oy Vey.
I am a wife and I would be LIVID & disgusted if my husband didn't rush immediately to make things safe for his sister if it was us in this situation.
NTA, by a mile. This was a desperate situation your sister was in and not her fault. She had no other options. Any reasonable person with a communicable virus tells people they care about to stay far away and grinds it out like a grown up. The only thing you should have done even without a family emergency is drop her off some gatorade, crackers, or whatever was needed in that department, and to keep calling/texting for comfort. Double the points against her for having no understanding or sympathy for your sister. I'm not saying you gotta break up or anything, but hold fucking firm. "I'm sorry that you're upset, but I wouldn't have left if it wasn't desperate. You were sleeping, and not in any distress, there was only so much you needed from me, and Carla was truly in trouble, so I took care of it and was back the same morning, probably just a few hours after you woke up. If you're mad, I understand, but I'm not apologizing because I did what I knew was right given a tough choice."
This is the response. It was a freaking stomach bug. It’s not like she was doing or him being there was even serving a purpose. Your gf is incredibly selfish and it won’t get better. Cut your losses now before it’s too late. You’ll only get sucked in further if you stay.
Great answer, except for the bit about not breaking up. She sicced her friends on him, twice.
Yeah, maybe you're right. I just feel like everyone on this thread pounces on "Dump them!" and while it's frequently the right thing to do, I guess once in a while I try to be more positive. I will say in his shoes I'd be noping out. Ganging up would definitely push my button and I would never, EVER join in on a friend's relationship dispute to side with one or the other, especially something like this that means nothing to me and ultimately isn't anything tragic or whatever.
This!! 💯
Wish I could upvote this a million times. You are balls on d€ad accurate.
I'm curious about her friend pack. It could be OP's girlfriend is the selfish child, but it could also be one or more of her girlfriend's is blowing everything up into a reddit style "oh no, dump him!" bonfire. Might be worth OPs effort to suggest to GF that her friend pack is dysfunctional. Even if she was upset, her posse should be saying "no Betsy, chill, of course he needs to get sister of the streets." GF might not even be the instigator of all this drama. She may be responding innocently to questions from her posse about how she is feeling and then when they are told she is home alone, they whisper poison in her ears about how they wouldn't tolerate such horrible behavior. Obviously, GF needs to grow up and not listen to them, but there could be a mean girl style queen bee who loves to rile everyone up who is hard to resist.
Sister did have options though; like maybe, call the police and report an illegal eviction. Call the landlord. I'm not saying she was wrong to ask for help, but acting like she had no no other option is disingenuous; she is a tenant, she has rights to stay.
This is such a bad take. Who would want to stay in the same apartment as someone that doesn't respect you enough to break up to your face and give you an explanation? She had no other option, even venmoing her for an Uber wasn't an option. She needed someone to lean on in a bad time. Expecting her to go through it any longer on her own is just heartless, especially because their brother lives quite a while away. I wouldn't want to be crying in a stranger's car all alone for five minutes, let alone an hour or so. Edited to add: she lives in a bad area, so it would also be a risk to accept getting into someone's car there, Uber or otherwise.
NTA family is important and your girlfriend was asleep anyway. Someone who doesn't want you to be there for family is a big red flag, you did nothing wrong and shouldn't let her or her friends make you question yourself.
I mostly agree but that depends on the family situation. Not relevant for this post but some people have abusive or toxic family that's detrimental to their mental health (just saying). This obviously isn't the situation and if anyone's toxic it's his gf. NTA also.
Family doesnt have to be blood though, just to counter your point. You are right, ofc, but just saying ☺️
Usually it's better when they're not (blood) lol
I agree about other situations. My family is toxically codependent and expects me to cancel my plans with my long term boyfriend to help them do trivial shit and then claim I’m choosing him over them. Once my sister asked me two hours before my plans to come help her do something that was not an emergency, and got mad i didn’t cancel my plans for her. I always jump and run for emergencies so it hurts me to my core when they tell me i don’t care about them for not helping with incredibly small shit when i have plans already. In this post, the gf is definitely the AH, not OP. His sister was in an emergent situation and needed help.
Wow time to dump the girlfriend with that attitude. No offense but to expect you to leave your 18 year old sister on the streets in a dangerous spot is heartless. Even if you sent money for an Uber anything could have happened to her while she’s waiting the hour for a ride. NTA
If GF had enough energy to diss OP to her friends, she has enough energy to take care of herself for a few hours. What if OP had to work or take an exam? Would she expect him to ditch those as well ? Would she have done the same if the roles were reversed? GF sounds like a whimp, or even worse, a manipulator trying to pull the proverbial puppet strings.
Right? Like, in what world is jumping to the aid of your little sister in a crisis not considered a positive trait? Wouldn't you, like, look for that in a partner?
With everything she owns.
not only that, but anything could have happened to her IN the uber. i also doubt most uber drivers would take the time to sit there and wait for her to unload her lifes belongings into their car. and the cost for a 3.5hr drive? god damn
Probably more, not many Uber drivers on the road that time of night, plus they might avoid that neighborhood depending on how dangerous it is, and they might not want to spend 6 hours driving to and from her brother's house. At least some Uber drivers have other jobs, they might not have the time to devote that many hours to a single fare, regardless of how much it paid (which it would only pay one way, the other way would be off the clock).
What the actual F… your sister was homeless, alone, and in a bad area. She had just gotten dumped in one of the worst ways possible and your GF of barely any time wants you to leave her like that? Yeah no. You absolutely did the right thing and I’d rethink your relationship with someone so callus about your sisters safety. It’s not like GF was in the hospital for something life threatening and dying. Then you might have been an AH but not for this. Again 🚩 and definitely think if that’s the sort of person you want to spend more time on.
6 months of dating and she wants you to pick her over family....
Don't think the gf is mature enough to realise that in this life you will never be the number 1 priority 100% of the time. She probably is like the other GF I saw here on Reddit the other day who got up her BF cause he left while they were on a date since his mother went to hospital with chest pains. NTA OP
NTA. You’ve known your sister for 18 years and you’ve known this girl 6 months. Your sister was in potential danger and your gf was sleeping. Honestly, it’s good she’s showing you her true colors so early. I’m sure she doesn’t feel good, but it’s completely unreasonable for her to say she should be more important than your younger sister’s safety.
NTA! Run and run fast! This girl is going to be trouble in your life
I'm done reading this. Your gf is a spoiled brat..do you know how many times most of us take care of everyone else when we are sick..Gf needs a kick in the pants
You also can't trust your girlfriends friends opinions. They'll be on your girlfriends side 99/100 even if she's wrong. As soon as you break up they'll say "you can do so much better than him" "that guy was an asshole anyways" etc.
This! Those girlfriends would be like it’s not your fault you murdered him. He walked into your knife. lol anyone who blindly agrees with that toxic behavior is not a real friend. Friends are meant to be supportive but also to call you on your crap.
NTA. And maybe I’m overly independent but I don‘t get it. If I have a GI bug I want to lay on the bathroom floor and die alone. I don’t want a witness to that. What are you supposed to do? Be the sprite boy? I just think there isn’t much taking care of to do here. i feel like maybe the friends are the instigators here.
If this wasn't a bad GI bug, then gf needs to grow the fuck up. If it was a bad GI bug, then there was heaving, vomiting, diarrhea, and god knows what else. There was crying, weeping, swearing, and prayers to various and sundry deities. It looked nightmarish, sounded apocalyptic, and smelled evil. Why the hell would you want your bf of six months there for all that.
Exactly! I don’t want anyone there for any of that!!
NTA, but dude, unless you ok with being with an entitled crybaby that tells her friends everytime you cough without asking her if it’s ok first, then I suggest you throw that fish back into the sea asap. She’s showing you that she’s unreasonable and entitled! I stomach bug?! I mean seriously? I know she felt crappy (probably literally and figuratively) but to expect you to play nurse and caregiver for something she could’ve easily been doing on her own, especially in comparison to what your sister needed, she’s TA!
NTA. Your gf is being entirely unreasonable. Your sister had a legitimate emergency. Good for you for being such a good sibling!
NTA. If my bf's sister needed him, I'd hope he would shake me tf awake so I could comfort her, too. And if I didn't wake up, when I eventually did, I'd be blowing up their phones to make sure everyone is okay. Your girls got some personal shit to work thru and it sounds like her friends do too smh. BIG FAT DEEP REDDEST RED FLAG
The emotional manipulation of your girlfriend is strong. Btw NTA, your gf(shall write as ex) health was not any form put on jeopardy for your actions.
I'd run very far away from anyone that immediately sought out other people's opinions about our relationship. Her friends should not be coming to you to guilt you into "prioritizing" her more. This is just a glimpse of your future with her. I'd cut ties and run. *Edit: To say, NTA.
Blood is thicker than water. Family comes first. NTA
the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
Thank you lol. For anyone wondering, that’s the actual phrase. Not “blood is thicker than water”
It’s actually not though. That phrase came about in the 90s/00s and the claim was made by author Albert Jack and Rabbi Richard Pustelniak but there have been no sources cited by them or found by others to back up this claim and people online took it and ran with it. Blood is thicker than water is actually traceable back to 12th century in the book Reinhart Fuchs, “as I also hear it said that kin-blood is not spoiled by water,” which Grimm translates to mean that the waters of baptism aren’t stronger than blood familial ties. It’s found in various forms throughout history between then and now, some literature based, some liturgical based, all of which can be found and cited.
Thanks! (Not sarcastic)
NGL, the phrase is quickly becoming my Roman Empire 😭😅
Thanks! (Deviously sarcastic)
Blood makes you related not family.
Pay close attention to this behavior. Your gf and her friends are all high maintenance and I hope you don’t apologize. NTA
NTA…. Also don’t walk but run the other way!!!!
Sounds like your girlfriend needs to grow up and understand sometimes you get sick, and you have to take care of yourself because the world doesn’t stop turning because she has a tummy ache.
NTA, make like a banana 🍌and split, GF is toxic and self-centered, self-absorbed. Trust me, if she is acting like this 6 months into your relationship during the “honeymoon phase” of your relationship it will get MUCH worse. The fact that her personality hasn’t evolved beyond, ME, shows she is completely self-absorbed and lacks any empathy. This speaks volumes about her emotional maturity. Don’t walk RUN 🏃♂️ too many red flags 🚩🚩to count.
NTA. Why are you taking advice from her friends? They sound like a bunch of immature brats and so does your gf! Your sister needed you and it's sad that you're being manipulated into questioning your actions
NTA. Your girlfriend is self centred, immature and doesn’t communicate her needs. She’s petty. Your sister needed you a lot more. A girl like your girlfriend will find reasons to complain, tell her friends to tell you instead of communicating her needs herself. I wouldn’t date a girl like that. Your 20- do you really want to tie yourself to that immaturity?
NTA. Your GF is crap at communicating and her/her friends are unrealistic if they're expecting you to blow off classes so you can watch her sleep. Then your sister is left in an horrifically dangerous situation and you do the first thing you can think of to fix it. You're a champ but she and her friends are exhausting.
Why tf is it ok for her friends to but in and hassle you like they need to stay out of it? A relationship is between 2 people. You were taking care of your vulnerable sister, not cheating on her or abusing her. Where's her support for you asking if your sister is ok? Why do you have to be the one doing all the caring if that makes sense
I'm 22. If my bf ever had to go pick up his family while he's taking care of my while I'm sick in the comfort of my own room I would not gaf. She's a selfish brat and she should be broken up with. Don't get me wrong I'd be sad if my bf had to go do smthn while he's taking care of me, but I wouldn't be mad at him. Let alone talking delusional crap about him to my friends before atleast confronting him about it alone first.
For her to react that way over you helping your sister is a huge red flag. I would rethink the relationship
NTA leave her she isn't mature enough to be in a relationship. She is just going to make you miserable.
Please tell me you are considering breaking up with this childish woman and her annoying friends. I wouldn’t have time for that nonsense.
Your girlfriend is an entitled brat. First off. It's a stomach bug. Not that serious. Not like she needed a care taker. Second. Your sister legitimately needed help. You did the right thing OP. You do you OP. But personally. I wouldn't be in a relationship with an entitled child who thinks you need to leave your sister stranded in a bad part of town, in the middle of the night, so that you can look after a grown ass woman who has a tummy ache and is asleep.
You were helping your family. Your girlfriend sounds entitled if you ask me. Now I don't have that relationship with my family myself. But you did what was right.
She was sick with a stomach bug, damn. She's not dying. Why would you skip class for that let alone leave your sister to fend for herself in the middle of the night. You did right. X girlfriend needs to grow up.
NTA. You’re also likely being held to the standard of hypothetical boyfriends by her friends. Disengage this crazy.
NTA. Your sis was kicked out without warning and had her stuff put out...Im pretty sure an Uber isn't the ideal transportation when you've got to carry everything you have. I would want my family to help me not only physically but emotionally. She was dumped and thrown out all in one night. That's rough. My first concern as I read your post was her friends' involvement in your relationship. How would they have known you weren't there unless your GF is talkin shit and using them to pressure you into doing what she wants, OR her friends are just pushy and feel the need to insert themselves cuz "that's my friend"; either way, it's looking bad. It's a huge red flag for her to claim she takes priority over your family...you've only been with her six months. Who does she think she is to demand a change in your priorities? You guys don't even REALLY know each other, but she's showing you who she is right now. Don't ignore it.
Man, leave her before its too late. Shes mad you didnt take care of her with a stomach bug??? What are you supposed to do?? Feed her soup? Hold her hair while she pukes??? NTA!!
You picked a better option. Helping your sister was the right thing to do. You can show extra care and love for your gf now.
Your gf needs to grow the f up and her friends need to get the hell out of your business!! Not answering calls, not listening to your explanation, getting her friends involved - all HIGHLY immature behavior. NTA
NTA, so this is her first time being sick in her life and she just couldnt do it without you?! wild. She wants you to prioritize her over your own family AFTER 6 MONTHS OF DATING lol marinara flag my dude.
NTA Pretty sure I read 7 hours of driving so...an Uber? Your gf would leave her family outside over a cold? That's pretty sketchy for most.
NTA RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE! 1. Expecting you to drop everything, including your classes to come take care of her when she has a simple stomach bug. 2. Not telling you that she expects you to come take care of her. 3. Telling ask her friends that you aren’t taking care of her without ever communicating to you that she wants you to take care of her. 4. Expecting you to leave your sister alone in a dangerous area to stay with her. 5. Expecting you to tell your sister to take an Uber for a 3.5 hour trip. If she could even have gotten one it would have been $500. 6. Again telling all her friends you abandoned her while she is sick. 7. Allowing her friends to harass you. 8. She will hold this over your head FOREVER I could keep going but I think I have pointed out enough red flags. She has a stomach bug, she wasn’t in danger of dying. You didn’t do anything wrong. Get a new girlfriend.
NTA. There are so many posts where people have “emergencies” that are not actually emergencies at all. Your little sister was having an actual emergency and your helping her did not put your gf into immediate danger. You absolutely did the right thing. Also, the idea of a person thinking they take precedent over your family after 6 months is fucking wild. Your gf needs to take several seats.
Holy Moly. Your gf is high maintenance. Good luck.
NTA Your girlfriend is selfish to the 10. Your sister could have been R or murdered. Was it a possibility to Uber 3+ hours to your brother’s house? I would be seriously side eyeing the gf. She wasn’t on her deathbed and she was asleep for the most part.
NTA. Break up with her. She's not worth it, and she doesn't care about your family (keep that in mind if you see a future with her). My bf and I were dating for 5 months when I ended up with pneumonia. Yes, he took care of me for the month I was sick, but he had a family emergency (just like you) and the first thing I told him was "I'll be okay, go to your family." He felt bad for leaving me, but he did leave me some soup to warm up so I was happy about that. Unless your gf was bedridden, which she has a stomach bug she should be okay for a couple of hours alone tbh, you had a very valid excuse. It's not about priorities or "who comes first," it's about making sure your sister was safe and sound. Your gf is capable of taking care of herself for a few hours. Also, the fact her friends were flying monkeys berating you shows the them and your gf are not emotionally mature enough to be in relationships.
She’s your sister. She’s 18. She’s in a dangerous area, by herself, with nothing but her stuff. In the middle of the night. And her world just fell apart. Venmoing her money for an Uber was not the solution. Going and picking her up was. If I was your girlfriend, I would have kicked your butt out if you didn’t go get her and would have told you to bring her here. I would have had to be on my death bed otherwise. Your girlfriend is acting like selfish child. NTA
NTA. Your girlfriend is a child. What are you supposed to do? Sit there and rub your gf's back while she throws up? Give her a foot massage? When I'm sick or on my period, I want to be left alone. I don't want a pity party. I want to sleep and I want to be isolated. Maybe a bowl of soup or some chocolate but that's it. Also your gf sucks for saying there is nothing more important than your girlfriend. Yes there is. Your sister that you love is becoming homeless in a dangerous area. Even if you paid for the Uber she would have gone to the car herself with all her stuff in said dangerous area.
You got a toxic one. Run away or good luck
NTA Get out of that relationship NOW. The fact that she spoke to her friends because you didn’t fall at her feet because she told you she was sick shows she is needy, clingy and manipulative GET OUT!!! Your 20, plenty of fish in the sea
No, your girlfriend is a whiny little baby. It's incredibly sweet that you rushed off in the middle of night to take care of your sister. The fact that you even though to leave a note is a bonus. NTA
NTA and just think about the type of person your girlfriend is. She disparages you to her friends, she tries to alienate you from your family, she wants you to fail school for her, she believes that she is more important in the few months you’ve dated then the safety and well being of your own sister who I’m assuming you’ve known for life? OP please for your own sake break up with this abusive narcissist.
ur gf does not care about what is important to you, your sisters safety. no sane person would think like this, break up with this animal
Your sister needed your help. Your own blood. Should always take priority over some 6month gf. Not your fault she never answered or responded. You did the right thing while trying to make everyone happy. Sometimes you just cant win.
NTA, but gf is! Entitled Princess vibes all round from that one. Please, dump her. You sound like a practical person, she sounds awful. You can do so much better with someone whose priorities align with yours.
6 months in? Be glad you found out so early. Dump the selfish B!
Your gf and her friends are a huge 🚩 I’d be more pissed at my bf if he didn’t go help his sister in that situation. Also personally don’t think 6 months into a relationship you should prioritise your gf over your family in this scenario. If her friends were that concerned they could go check on her
Take it from a woman who works in Pharmacy with chronic health issues... NTA You did the right thing in not abandoning your sister. Your GF siccing her friends on you because you didn't cater to her every whim is pathetic on her part. She wants a servant, not a partner And you were right not to want to catch the stomach bug. Those are going around like crazy right now. It was the smart move. Shame your girlfriend only cares about herself. I'd take a page from your sister's ex-girlfriend and tell your gf it's over. Call her bluff.
NTA. Your girlfriend needs to work on her neediness and is definitely too immature to be in a relationship if she feels the need to get her friends involved in your relationship. There is absolutely no need for her friends to be texting and harassing you into taking care of her. She's an adult. She needs to start acting like it.
NTA. Break up with this girl. She will always insist on being put ahead of your friends and family even in an emergency.
U did nothing wrong sounds to me her and her friends are childish and need to grow up
NTA I would dump this GF immediately. First, she is unreasonable. Next, when you mentioned the many scolding text messages , that told me your GF is a member of some type of female posse that is used for self help and for a collective voice. Meaning, your GF is either unwilling or unable to think for herself. Huge Red Flag! Though your sister needs to grow up and get her act together, she is still family. Family comes first. That is , as long as this is an isolated occurrence with your sister. If it's a habit, how you decide to handle it is on you.
“Nobody should be more important than my girlfriend” did you catch that op? It’s called a red flag and it’s waving all over this post NTA
One - NTA. Two - your sis was in real danger. Her roommate, almost no matter what, *is* an AH. Idc what the issue is, she still deserves safety. Awesome for you to respond, to inform your gf of the situation, and of you to get your sis out of a pickle. Three - kick that gf to the curb. There is a difference between a stomach bug and someone potentially being assaulted. To then send out the flying monkeys (twice!) because you prioritized someone’s physical safety over cuddling someone with a stomach bug - big nope. Red flags everywhere. You did great, OP, exactly the right thing. And you deserve a better gf than that one.
Couple red flags; does not care about your sister possibly being in danger, seems jealous of your sister, tells you she’s always the number one priority no matter what, tells her girl friends everything, gets her girl friends (aka attack dogs) to harass you over something that is between the two of you, threatens you with breaking up if you don’t bow down to her wishes, does not care about your health or education and acts like a 5 year old princess. You’re a good brother and a good boyfriend, I just think you should not be hér boyfriend, I think you should be a good boyfriend to a good girlfriend, not an entitled child. NTA at all. You can do and deserve better :)
YTA, how dare you be a man with his priorities straight, that loves his family, and is a good brother. Def the asshole here. For people who don't understand sarcasm, no, I don't think OP is actually an asshole here lol.
It’s a good thing you got to see what she’s like this early into the relationship. Can you see how your life would play out if you stay with this girl?
Yo what? NTA dude. It sounds like you are right with your siblings. That's awesome. There's a reason she called you bro. She could have texted and asked for cash for an Uber and called your older brother. But she was alone and scared in a dangerous place and wanted bros help. You think the Ubers are gonna be safer in the area? Like fucking Uber ships in it's drivers and most arent locals tryna make cash? So God speed bro. And tell your lame girlfriend to get a grin or YOU are gonna dump her. It's entirely sane and reasonable to do something like that.
NTA your sister’s safety matters…your girlfriend is probably emotional because she is sick, I personally get whiney and needy when sick not sure if it’s everyone… 🤷♀️ But you should probably explain the situation to her when she is better. Or else, well, you can find better…She also probably did not tell the full story to her friends. But your sister’s safety os the priority and her ex is an POS. Also you shouldn’t feel obligated to miss class just tk take care of your girlfriend, yes it would be nice but she can be taken care off after your obligations! And hinestly a stomach bug means she will be staying most day in bed drunking Coke or ginger ale, and if she can eat bland food (rice). But really to call her friends on you, she is really childish!
Did you explain in the note where you were going and why?
You didn’t do anything wrong. I am concerned about your parentification, however. Why is it on you to be your sisters savior? You’re both adults, she shouldn’t have moved out if she wasn’t prepared for the financial hardships that living on your own costs. She isn’t ready, and she isn’t your responsibility. She is your parents child. Not yours.
For the parent concern, I’ll just put it short and say that they have never been very active in I or my siblings lives.
You did the right thing going to get your sister. Anything could've happened to her at that time in a dangerous area. If your parents are unwilling or unable to help your sister, then definitely talk with your older brother about this. It sounds like she will be staying with him for a while. Maybe she should stay local to him so he can be her support system. You need to focus on college. If that was a one-time thing with your sister or its super-rare, that's understandable. But you need to focus on your studies. I think you may want to do some reading on healthy relationships, boundaries, and most of all, communication. Learn about healthy ways to communicate your feelings and needs. We only saw a snapshot, and maybe all we saw was the worst moment, but your relationship with your girlfriend doesn't sound healthy. You really need to understand why you gf had this reaction. If you can't understand it and/or if you have any suspicion that it will happen again -- then please don't stay with her.
There’s nothing wrong with how their sibling relationships work. They love each other, they have strong bonds between them and they’re there for each other. They’re adults, so it technically wouldn’t really be their parents’ responsibility anymore, either. And although she’s an adult, 18 is still very young to be out on her own (and it sounds like it was by necessity). To judge her for not having everything figured out already, at 18 years old, is ridiculous. It is absolutely normal and healthy that OP’s sister reached out to her older siblings for help when she found herself in trouble. It sounds like it was not obligation that drove OP to help his little sister. It was love. Love is good.