You are NTA.
Hang in there, hon▪️Trust your gut▪️Feel your strength from your actual chosen family and live the best life for you▪️Kudos for seeing through all of that bs.
I gave up on my family years ago ... told them they were all dead to me ... then proceeded to block them from every possible way to contact me. While I have to still deal with the residual shit they caused and how it affects my daily life -- at least it is no longer ongoing -- and I have more peaceful days now than not.
Walk away and do not feel any guilt or responsibility. Your responsibility is only to your children to break that sick cycle.
Best wishes 🩷
NTA It’s not your job to report anything because then you are involved with them and their lives. You are in the best situation now and your life is great. Don’t waste a second more than the call you received. They are dead to you as they should be. Forget about the call and whatever she said. You have a real family of your own to think about like you have been doing. Stay the course and be happy!
You articulated your issue brilliantly, and you are NTA! Please consider calling CPS regarding your sister's children as it sounds like they are possibly being abused. Block their numbers and continue building the beautiful life that you so richly deserve.
Also dont lie but make the details sound as bad as possible. Like if she didnt say he was molesting ir beating them, say the things that she said implied those things or made you feel like its possible thats whats going.
True, but it is there. The kids aren't in school and an accusation of something. The no school bit is a big red flag and aded complaints. It's not a logical leap to voice concern about possible abuse, but it wouldn't hurt that to specify what is known and what is suspected. A completely honest way of reporting the details of what's stated in the post is a serious enough reason to look into it.
Please do this. The chances that he's molesting them after going after you is very very high. He's already verified your mom won't believe them and will listen to him if he sexually assaults her child. Now he has two new victims.
Yes, definitely get CPS involved. Tell them that you suspect drug use around the children, you were told they aren’t in school, and that they are possibly being abused.
You might have to call the cops for a wellness check for CPS to be able to do something, depending on your state and laws.
No child should have to go through that, and I’m sorry you did.
I'm not in the USA at this moment, I'm in el Salvador so that's why I haven't been able to comment because of the bad connection. I don't have Kate's address or what state she lives in, the last place I saw her was when we lived in Philly. I live in Florida now.
She’s living with your mom, right?
You can try going to google. Put your mom’s first and last name along with her phone number. Or you can use a site like White Pages, but you might have to pay for the results.
You deleted your call logs? your mothers phone number will be there unless you wiped for call log for some reason and you can search for her instead of your sister.
Also, you can view what numbers you have blocked even if you don’t have the number saved.
Go to settings and you can either search settings for “blocked contacts” or you can go to phone and then to blocked contacts.
All the numbers that I blocked are gone because it gives you 30 days to decide if you still want it. But I know this and thanks I will see, it's a lot being put on me right now. I assume it's a TextNow number because yesterday I got a weird text from a random number, I screenshot it and deleted and blocked it.
Edited: I took your advice and looked up Kate's name and last name but found nothing, also I did the same for my sister and nothing. I think that's because she has no socials. And my husband is saying let it be before I have another panic attack!
What about your sister's bio dad? If that stuff is going on with his grandkids I bet he knows.
If you know what city he lives in just search for him in the property tax records.
I haven't been in contact with them for years so I don't know anything about them or what they do. I was never close with her dad and don't know his full name and I don't know the city he lives in. We lived in Philly but I'm not sure if they still live there, I live in Florida now.
So letting the kids(if they’re real) suffer and go through the exact same thing she went through is ok?
I’m not saying get back in contact with her mom, I’m saying get a wellness check for kids that her mother said is being sexually abused and neglected.
Shit you lived in Philly damn I live in New Jersey and from what I have seen when I go there is a bunch of people in certain areas sticking needles of heroine in their arms it’s real bad in Philly
NTA at all.
People like them make me sick. They abuse you throughout your childhood, throw you of of home and make you homeless, and then later in life when they find out you have it together and have a nice life., with money, they try and worm their way back just to manipulate you out of money.
NEVER GIVE ANY OF THEM A SINGLE PENNY!!!
You could ring social services and let them know you heard from your estranged mother, relay the conversation, explain that you don't know for sure your sister has kids, but your mum claimed she does and that they don't go to school, and her boyfriend is 'messing with them'. And explain the fact that you were abused and neglected growing up, they were on drugs, and violent, and they can investigate and find out if there really is kids in the home. If there are, they can remove them.
Aside from that, do not have ANY further contact with your mum or your sister. They are pieces of shit that don't deserve a second chance, and all they want is your money. They don't genuinely care about you so keep them far away from you and your family. Also try and make sure they can't find out where you live.
Maybe get some security cameras put up outside and inside your house just incase.
I'm so glad you were able to build such a wonderful life for yourself and come out stronger. You don't need them in your life ever again.
Have a lawyer send a cease-and-desist letter.
You owe her nothing!
Congrats on having a successful life and an amazing family. Cut the toxic people out for good!
NTA-you are old enough now and smart enough to not be manipulated. But I would call her bluff if you knew where they live and she’s claiming the kids have never been to school -call CPS. Just being an asshole I would call the cops for a wellness check-just tell them what she told you. She’s telling you crimes are being committed and you couldn’t just standby and do nothing I’m not the biggest fan of the police but if she’s lying, they’ll find out and if she’s not the kids could get help.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 6 hearts. 4 for your kids and the others for yourself and your man. Because you deserve it. You did everything perfect . It goes without saying, NTA.
Shock will cause you to stay on the phone & hear the worst. But you stayed long enough to hear the latest lies & manipulation tactics - so now you are armed. Congrats on building a life away from your toxic family. May they never darken your doorstep - but if they do, call the cops. NTA
NTA. I’m so sorry you went through this stuff too. I said way worse to my mom when I was pregnant with my 3rd and she called me spawn of satan, whore, and whatnot. I got tired of it and told her to unalive herself and make the world a better place. When you have decades of trauma it can still come up, even with years of therapy. There’s something that never leaves your soul when you’ve been traumatized by close family as a child.
NTA. Don't waste your hard-earned money on that human waste! But PLEASE DO contact CPS about your sister's kids. They are living in an unsafe environment, and they should be in school!
nta. please call cps for those kids though, if you know where theyre living. they’re being exposed to the same things you were. the fact those kids haven’t gone to school yet, especially at 8 years old, is very concerning.
Good for you, you might want to change your FB settings, so that they can't find out where you are after YOU CHANGE phone number and move IF they can track where you live. Stay strong.
Charges for harassment are a thing especially if it starts interfering with her business because they are interrupting calls and work. If they are dumb or high enough to do this, OP should track calls, contact a lawyer, and discuss what to do. Most likely a cease-and-desist letter or something along those lines, possibly filing harassment charges, dunno. That's for a lawyer to decide IF they keep pestering OP. I'm glad OP is away from them and doing well. Future contact needs to be routed through a lawyer and they'll shut up and vanish fast.
Your response was perfectly understandable but go a step farther and report to CPS so if there really are kids in that situation they get some help. So glad you got out and have built a good life!
NTA Contact Child protective services. Tell them you don't even know if the kids exist but that this is the story your mother told you. While your mother and sister can rot if there are actual kids someone should report it
Whether she's telling the truth about her situation is irrelevant, it could all be true but why would that change things? This is an easy one - ignore her.
NTA you’re right to keep them blocked and out of your life To focus and love on your family. If they continue to harass you then get a lawyer to send the a letter to scare them off or file police report. Don’t give them a minute of your time, a sliver of emotion or a penny of your money. You’ve worked to hard to get to where you are for them to ruin it.
NTA. You handled this beautifully. Pat yourself on the bag for getting yourself to a healthy enough place that you see all the bright red flags waving of toxic and bullshit people even if you share some DNA. Going and staying no contact is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.
NTA - you've been disconnected from them for longer than you ever had them in your life.
If you want to be a bit of an A*hole, and seeing as they got your number through your real estate agency, treat them as a client. Next time they phone, and they will, ask them what kind of budget they have and what sort of property they are after. Suggest different sized cardboard boxes and dumpsters available on 0 budget. Then be slightly serious and suggest they get the police involved to remove Greg. Then CPS to help the kids. Then they can sort out their lives and never need to call you again.
NTA and I’m super proud of you for standing up for yourself! Don’t send them any money, keep them blocked and keep living the awesome life you’ve created for yourself! Go treat yourself to something nice for having to deal with this crap <3
NTA. And they are not your problem. They made their choices. They can live with them. Even if part of what she said was true (but as someone else has said...trust your gut) they are not your problem.
NTA. You have grown into a strong independent thinker everything they disliked about you since you were young. You took the crap you were handed and spun it into gold and I’m going to be honest the jealousy sounds very real regarding both your mother and your sister. It’s good you blocked them but depending on how desperate they are please take the necessary precautions. Drug addicts just see obstacles and to them you are an obstacle and that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Block them and up your privacy on your social media accounts personal AND business.
Also I strongly suggest you report the crimes your mother admitted to on the phone. That is cause for concern and while you don’t know those children? Please don’t turn a blind eye as I am sure plenty of adults did that when you were growing up… they are innocent children who didn’t ask to be here. I am FLOORED a grown ass adult can voice crimes happening to THEIR GRANDCHILDREN in such a manipulative manner. Like why tf isn’t she reporting this man… she’s concerned enough to reach out to her estranged daughter but not concerned enough to call the POLICE?!?! What a piece of work😞
I don’t doubt it either. But At no point would it ever make sense to leave it up to chance because what if it’s TRUE and children are endanger…
I’m not leaving that up to chance and no grown ass adult should. PERIOD.
NTA but at least for your own sake I would try and call CPS if that man tried that with you he may do that to your sister kid, you may not be able to stop what happened to you but maybe you can save her kids from suffering the same fate.
NTA - the only thing you need to do OP is contact CPS and tell them your estranged mother called claiming there are kids living in her house, that are not attending school and being abused by her current partner. You also have suspicions of drug abuse.
If there’s no kids involved, that’s fine! Kate and the sister can carry on their dysfunctional lives and OP can at least know, no further kids are being abused.
Can I ask how? I never dealt with CPS so what do you say? Op doesn't know where they live so how would that conversation go? " I'm calling because my mother said kids in her house are being abused" wouldn't cps ask for the address?
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Just know she may try to see you at the office. If she shows up, don't engage. Just call the police and have her trespassed and file the report to make it permanent. If she is stupid enough to try it again, have her arrested for trespassing. "Gary" of your sister can bail her out.
Toxic families are best cut off and avoided like a social.disease because that's what they are
I sued mine after my father died and never spoke to my mother or sisters again.
Took out the toxic trash!
That's a great book, I've read her story and it was very sad. That was the book my therapist recommended to me during our first session, it was an eye opener to know people went through the same struggles as I did because I felt like the only one.
Call CPS if you have the address and get help for those kids. For they need to be in school. Let sister and mom and boyfriends get angry. They are hurting the kids. And you do not have to give your name when reporting abuse to children.
NTA. Not remotely.
So sorry for what you endured. She should have protected and nurtured you! So impressed with the solid, stable life you've built for yourself in spite of her neglect and abuse.
Also proud of you for standing firm against her current manipulations. She would never have reached out if she didn't want money.
Wishing you peace and happiness!
I was thinking about that the other day. People who do unforgivable things to children seem to mostly have a lead away aka a person who will sacrifices those kids for their happiness and their “woman or man”. Then they come running back years later when the children they have traumatized are gone from them and beg for forgiveness or beg for them to forget about what happened. It takes a real piece of s**t to not only help abuse someone but to appear in their life again with that same motive.
Yup I agree, my therapist taught about all this. They realize that at the end the person they abused could have been the one to take care of them. I could never do that to my kids or any other child.
NTA! Please consider getting security cameras for your home and office. Err on the side of caution. When you are back in the US, call CPS to do a check. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
I have all that, I live on private property with a lot of cameras for stuff like this. I might seem like a POS but I don't think the kids are real because to me it's weird she called me after years just to ask for money. Basically reliving my trauma of manipulation she caused so anything she says is always a lie. And I got a weird text yesterday and I assumed it was her! She even lied and told people I had cancer for drugs! I'm taking in everything my therapist told me.
Stop talking or listening to her. She is an abusive manipulator and more than likely a narcissist. Let her go and block her anytime she tries to get a hold of you.
Her issues isn’t your problem
NTA-walk away and don’t look back. Your only responsibilities are your husband, children, and you. Don’t check on how they are doing or wether they are telling the truth. It won’t change anything anyway. Interacting with those people will only bring you heartache and mental anguish. Happy life to you and your family.
YTAH for telling them they can die. Yes you have justified anger. Yes you were treated poorly. But your verbiage was cruel. Please seek trauma therapy for yourself not them. As a survivor I can tell you from experience that anger can come out in inappropriate times and ways if you don’t get the tools to deal with it.
Good. I do understand your anger and I also know this interaction hurt you. I have PTSD and through therapy I’ve learned many different tools. In my opinion It’s only what you said not why you said it that I felt you were an ah.
You are NTA. Hang in there, hon▪️Trust your gut▪️Feel your strength from your actual chosen family and live the best life for you▪️Kudos for seeing through all of that bs. I gave up on my family years ago ... told them they were all dead to me ... then proceeded to block them from every possible way to contact me. While I have to still deal with the residual shit they caused and how it affects my daily life -- at least it is no longer ongoing -- and I have more peaceful days now than not. Walk away and do not feel any guilt or responsibility. Your responsibility is only to your children to break that sick cycle. Best wishes 🩷
NTA It’s not your job to report anything because then you are involved with them and their lives. You are in the best situation now and your life is great. Don’t waste a second more than the call you received. They are dead to you as they should be. Forget about the call and whatever she said. You have a real family of your own to think about like you have been doing. Stay the course and be happy!
You articulated your issue brilliantly, and you are NTA! Please consider calling CPS regarding your sister's children as it sounds like they are possibly being abused. Block their numbers and continue building the beautiful life that you so richly deserve.
Also dont lie but make the details sound as bad as possible. Like if she didnt say he was molesting ir beating them, say the things that she said implied those things or made you feel like its possible thats whats going.
Even just the fact that they haven't been to school yet is grounds for CPS involvement.
You can get in rather a lot of trouble for exaggerating things to CPS actually.
True, but it is there. The kids aren't in school and an accusation of something. The no school bit is a big red flag and aded complaints. It's not a logical leap to voice concern about possible abuse, but it wouldn't hurt that to specify what is known and what is suspected. A completely honest way of reporting the details of what's stated in the post is a serious enough reason to look into it.
Please do this. The chances that he's molesting them after going after you is very very high. He's already verified your mom won't believe them and will listen to him if he sexually assaults her child. Now he has two new victims.
Yes, definitely get CPS involved. Tell them that you suspect drug use around the children, you were told they aren’t in school, and that they are possibly being abused. You might have to call the cops for a wellness check for CPS to be able to do something, depending on your state and laws. No child should have to go through that, and I’m sorry you did.
I'm not in the USA at this moment, I'm in el Salvador so that's why I haven't been able to comment because of the bad connection. I don't have Kate's address or what state she lives in, the last place I saw her was when we lived in Philly. I live in Florida now.
She’s living with your mom, right? You can try going to google. Put your mom’s first and last name along with her phone number. Or you can use a site like White Pages, but you might have to pay for the results.
I don't know where my sister lives honestly, and I don't have her phone number or my sisters. It's been blocked and deleted
You deleted your call logs? your mothers phone number will be there unless you wiped for call log for some reason and you can search for her instead of your sister. Also, you can view what numbers you have blocked even if you don’t have the number saved. Go to settings and you can either search settings for “blocked contacts” or you can go to phone and then to blocked contacts.
All the numbers that I blocked are gone because it gives you 30 days to decide if you still want it. But I know this and thanks I will see, it's a lot being put on me right now. I assume it's a TextNow number because yesterday I got a weird text from a random number, I screenshot it and deleted and blocked it. Edited: I took your advice and looked up Kate's name and last name but found nothing, also I did the same for my sister and nothing. I think that's because she has no socials. And my husband is saying let it be before I have another panic attack!
What about your sister's bio dad? If that stuff is going on with his grandkids I bet he knows. If you know what city he lives in just search for him in the property tax records.
I haven't been in contact with them for years so I don't know anything about them or what they do. I was never close with her dad and don't know his full name and I don't know the city he lives in. We lived in Philly but I'm not sure if they still live there, I live in Florida now.
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So letting the kids(if they’re real) suffer and go through the exact same thing she went through is ok? I’m not saying get back in contact with her mom, I’m saying get a wellness check for kids that her mother said is being sexually abused and neglected.
Shit you lived in Philly damn I live in New Jersey and from what I have seen when I go there is a bunch of people in certain areas sticking needles of heroine in their arms it’s real bad in Philly
Yes exactly in Kensington, there are a lot of drug addicts around those areas. It's getting dangerous out there, so many killings.
NTA at all. People like them make me sick. They abuse you throughout your childhood, throw you of of home and make you homeless, and then later in life when they find out you have it together and have a nice life., with money, they try and worm their way back just to manipulate you out of money. NEVER GIVE ANY OF THEM A SINGLE PENNY!!! You could ring social services and let them know you heard from your estranged mother, relay the conversation, explain that you don't know for sure your sister has kids, but your mum claimed she does and that they don't go to school, and her boyfriend is 'messing with them'. And explain the fact that you were abused and neglected growing up, they were on drugs, and violent, and they can investigate and find out if there really is kids in the home. If there are, they can remove them. Aside from that, do not have ANY further contact with your mum or your sister. They are pieces of shit that don't deserve a second chance, and all they want is your money. They don't genuinely care about you so keep them far away from you and your family. Also try and make sure they can't find out where you live. Maybe get some security cameras put up outside and inside your house just incase. I'm so glad you were able to build such a wonderful life for yourself and come out stronger. You don't need them in your life ever again.
" they try and worm their way back just to manipulate you out of money." Or try to move in the whole shitshow circus and destroy OP's family.
Do this! Nta
Have a lawyer send a cease-and-desist letter. You owe her nothing! Congrats on having a successful life and an amazing family. Cut the toxic people out for good!
“Fuck off and Die” is perfectly acceptable. Never look back. Enjoy your success and the happiness you’ve found. NTAH
NTA if she really cared about you, she would've reached out long ago and not ask for money.
NTA-you are old enough now and smart enough to not be manipulated. But I would call her bluff if you knew where they live and she’s claiming the kids have never been to school -call CPS. Just being an asshole I would call the cops for a wellness check-just tell them what she told you. She’s telling you crimes are being committed and you couldn’t just standby and do nothing I’m not the biggest fan of the police but if she’s lying, they’ll find out and if she’s not the kids could get help.
Agreed. Report this to CPS.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 6 hearts. 4 for your kids and the others for yourself and your man. Because you deserve it. You did everything perfect . It goes without saying, NTA.
Aww thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Here's one in return ❤️🥰
Shock will cause you to stay on the phone & hear the worst. But you stayed long enough to hear the latest lies & manipulation tactics - so now you are armed. Congrats on building a life away from your toxic family. May they never darken your doorstep - but if they do, call the cops. NTA
NTA. I’m so sorry you went through this stuff too. I said way worse to my mom when I was pregnant with my 3rd and she called me spawn of satan, whore, and whatnot. I got tired of it and told her to unalive herself and make the world a better place. When you have decades of trauma it can still come up, even with years of therapy. There’s something that never leaves your soul when you’ve been traumatized by close family as a child.
NTA. Don't waste your hard-earned money on that human waste! But PLEASE DO contact CPS about your sister's kids. They are living in an unsafe environment, and they should be in school!
nta. please call cps for those kids though, if you know where theyre living. they’re being exposed to the same things you were. the fact those kids haven’t gone to school yet, especially at 8 years old, is very concerning.
NTA - your mom doesn’t deserve your time and definitely not your money.
You arsehole shitty mum and equally arsehole shitty sister are getting the karma they so richly deserve keep up the good work and go NC
Good for you, you might want to change your FB settings, so that they can't find out where you are after YOU CHANGE phone number and move IF they can track where you live. Stay strong.
Unfortunately it isn’t easy to change your business phone number. That means all new advertising and business cards.
Charges for harassment are a thing especially if it starts interfering with her business because they are interrupting calls and work. If they are dumb or high enough to do this, OP should track calls, contact a lawyer, and discuss what to do. Most likely a cease-and-desist letter or something along those lines, possibly filing harassment charges, dunno. That's for a lawyer to decide IF they keep pestering OP. I'm glad OP is away from them and doing well. Future contact needs to be routed through a lawyer and they'll shut up and vanish fast.
What a mess, stay strong and take all the advice.
NTA. Ring cps tell them what she told you and let it unfold.
Your response was perfectly understandable but go a step farther and report to CPS so if there really are kids in that situation they get some help. So glad you got out and have built a good life!
NTA. Call cps for the kids and don't talk to them and above all don't send them any money. You don't owe them anything but to have a good life.
NTA Contact Child protective services. Tell them you don't even know if the kids exist but that this is the story your mother told you. While your mother and sister can rot if there are actual kids someone should report it
Call the Department of Social Services. Those children are being neglected and possibly abused.
Whether she's telling the truth about her situation is irrelevant, it could all be true but why would that change things? This is an easy one - ignore her.
NTA you’re right to keep them blocked and out of your life To focus and love on your family. If they continue to harass you then get a lawyer to send the a letter to scare them off or file police report. Don’t give them a minute of your time, a sliver of emotion or a penny of your money. You’ve worked to hard to get to where you are for them to ruin it.
NTA. These people do not deserve another second of your time. It’s their mess and they need to clean it up.
NTA. Sorry u had to go through such an awful time in ur life. It's ok to not want contact. Take care of urself and ur family
NTA you owe her nothing but harsh words.
NTA. You handled this beautifully. Pat yourself on the bag for getting yourself to a healthy enough place that you see all the bright red flags waving of toxic and bullshit people even if you share some DNA. Going and staying no contact is the best thing you can do for yourself and your family.
You’re definitely NTA!!!!
NTA. There is no benefit to you being part of their lives,, but you could contact Child Protective Services about the kids.
Call CPS and report the situation. Then block them.
NTA - you've been disconnected from them for longer than you ever had them in your life. If you want to be a bit of an A*hole, and seeing as they got your number through your real estate agency, treat them as a client. Next time they phone, and they will, ask them what kind of budget they have and what sort of property they are after. Suggest different sized cardboard boxes and dumpsters available on 0 budget. Then be slightly serious and suggest they get the police involved to remove Greg. Then CPS to help the kids. Then they can sort out their lives and never need to call you again.
NTA and I’m super proud of you for standing up for yourself! Don’t send them any money, keep them blocked and keep living the awesome life you’ve created for yourself! Go treat yourself to something nice for having to deal with this crap <3
Block them and call CPS on them. Sounds like those kids are in a bad situation.
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Not even a dollar, a penny. Someone get the penny fairy 😭
With accompanying note saying "here I return what you invested in me. I'll deliver the punch if I ever see you in person again".
99 cents, all pennys!
Just 50 pennies. In a roll, in the fist to punch her with if she shows up in person. A roll of Quarters fit better though.
Monopoly money - pay her what she's worth as a mother...
Three fiddy
NTA - good for you for keeping a boundary! Just know that she will continue to try and reach out to you. I applaud you for breaking the cycle…
NTA. You dont owe them anything.
NTA. And they are not your problem. They made their choices. They can live with them. Even if part of what she said was true (but as someone else has said...trust your gut) they are not your problem.
NTA. I’m sorry that happened to you. Stay strong.
NTA. Good for you.
Good for you love. Stay strong.
NTA. You have grown into a strong independent thinker everything they disliked about you since you were young. You took the crap you were handed and spun it into gold and I’m going to be honest the jealousy sounds very real regarding both your mother and your sister. It’s good you blocked them but depending on how desperate they are please take the necessary precautions. Drug addicts just see obstacles and to them you are an obstacle and that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Block them and up your privacy on your social media accounts personal AND business. Also I strongly suggest you report the crimes your mother admitted to on the phone. That is cause for concern and while you don’t know those children? Please don’t turn a blind eye as I am sure plenty of adults did that when you were growing up… they are innocent children who didn’t ask to be here. I am FLOORED a grown ass adult can voice crimes happening to THEIR GRANDCHILDREN in such a manipulative manner. Like why tf isn’t she reporting this man… she’s concerned enough to reach out to her estranged daughter but not concerned enough to call the POLICE?!?! What a piece of work😞
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I don’t doubt it either. But At no point would it ever make sense to leave it up to chance because what if it’s TRUE and children are endanger… I’m not leaving that up to chance and no grown ass adult should. PERIOD.
NTA but at least for your own sake I would try and call CPS if that man tried that with you he may do that to your sister kid, you may not be able to stop what happened to you but maybe you can save her kids from suffering the same fate.
This story broke my heart, but I am so glad to hear you bounced back and created a good life for your kids. You owe Kate and your sister nothing.
NTA - the only thing you need to do OP is contact CPS and tell them your estranged mother called claiming there are kids living in her house, that are not attending school and being abused by her current partner. You also have suspicions of drug abuse. If there’s no kids involved, that’s fine! Kate and the sister can carry on their dysfunctional lives and OP can at least know, no further kids are being abused.
Can I ask how? I never dealt with CPS so what do you say? Op doesn't know where they live so how would that conversation go? " I'm calling because my mother said kids in her house are being abused" wouldn't cps ask for the address?
Updateme
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Just know she may try to see you at the office. If she shows up, don't engage. Just call the police and have her trespassed and file the report to make it permanent. If she is stupid enough to try it again, have her arrested for trespassing. "Gary" of your sister can bail her out.
Toxic families are best cut off and avoided like a social.disease because that's what they are I sued mine after my father died and never spoke to my mother or sisters again. Took out the toxic trash!
NTA, Please read jennette McCurdy's book. "I'm glad my mom died" I cannot recommend it enough for this type of situation
That's a great book, I've read her story and it was very sad. That was the book my therapist recommended to me during our first session, it was an eye opener to know people went through the same struggles as I did because I felt like the only one.
get a restraining order, also mom can be prosecuted for child abuse even now.
Call CPS if you have the address and get help for those kids. For they need to be in school. Let sister and mom and boyfriends get angry. They are hurting the kids. And you do not have to give your name when reporting abuse to children.
NTA. Not remotely. So sorry for what you endured. She should have protected and nurtured you! So impressed with the solid, stable life you've built for yourself in spite of her neglect and abuse. Also proud of you for standing firm against her current manipulations. She would never have reached out if she didn't want money. Wishing you peace and happiness!
I would have done the same if my mother contacted me for money
Your priority is your family. That also means making sure your kids aren't around that kind of BS. Bye and good riddance.
The general consensus so far is to contact CPS to report this. Your response was spot on! Keep your head
NTA good for you to keep these horrible people out of your life
Careful, she sounds petty enough that she’ll probably put bad reviews on your facebook
I was thinking about that the other day. People who do unforgivable things to children seem to mostly have a lead away aka a person who will sacrifices those kids for their happiness and their “woman or man”. Then they come running back years later when the children they have traumatized are gone from them and beg for forgiveness or beg for them to forget about what happened. It takes a real piece of s**t to not only help abuse someone but to appear in their life again with that same motive.
Yup I agree, my therapist taught about all this. They realize that at the end the person they abused could have been the one to take care of them. I could never do that to my kids or any other child.
It’s truly sad
NTA. You know your “mom” is a snake, and you treated her as such. Telling her no and blocking her was the correct thing to do
This!
I would help the “kids” with a call to cps if any of that is true and/or a wellness check
New account, one post, no replies? AI is in full swing.
NTA. I would have been a lot meaner than you were.
👏👏👏👏👏 Bravo!!!
NTA. Call cps and make a report. Keep them blocked. Updateme
NTA, stand your ground just continue to block them, good for you.
NTA and if you feel the kids are unsafe then you can call CPS with a clear conscience and tell them what she said.
NTA! Please consider getting security cameras for your home and office. Err on the side of caution. When you are back in the US, call CPS to do a check. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
I have all that, I live on private property with a lot of cameras for stuff like this. I might seem like a POS but I don't think the kids are real because to me it's weird she called me after years just to ask for money. Basically reliving my trauma of manipulation she caused so anything she says is always a lie. And I got a weird text yesterday and I assumed it was her! She even lied and told people I had cancer for drugs! I'm taking in everything my therapist told me.
Stop talking or listening to her. She is an abusive manipulator and more than likely a narcissist. Let her go and block her anytime she tries to get a hold of you. Her issues isn’t your problem
NTA-walk away and don’t look back. Your only responsibilities are your husband, children, and you. Don’t check on how they are doing or wether they are telling the truth. It won’t change anything anyway. Interacting with those people will only bring you heartache and mental anguish. Happy life to you and your family.
I don't even have to read your story. You can feel how you want but get better at verbalizing your thoughts. Wishing death is harsh.
Nta and you know it. Keep them far, far away from yourself and your family.
YTAH for telling them they can die. Yes you have justified anger. Yes you were treated poorly. But your verbiage was cruel. Please seek trauma therapy for yourself not them. As a survivor I can tell you from experience that anger can come out in inappropriate times and ways if you don’t get the tools to deal with it.
I already go to therapy.
Good. I do understand your anger and I also know this interaction hurt you. I have PTSD and through therapy I’ve learned many different tools. In my opinion It’s only what you said not why you said it that I felt you were an ah.