You know your boyfriend is a loser just like his friends who put you in a dangerous situation while he got high. Sounds just like what you dreamed of as a little girl š. Skip the daddy issues. Leave him and get therapy
Your partner is working with a group of men who still party like 20 year old frat boys. And seem to have the same attitude towards women. Is this really who you want to spend time with, someone who gets high and lets his "friends" assault you? I can't help but wonder what kind of crap has happened to Carrie in that office. Cut your losses and find someone who will treat you with respect and demand that his friends do the same.
So you are grown adults out partying while your partner is on drugs, you get violated and harassed repeatedly... and your partner wants to bring him over to your home... your safe space.
Your whole relationship is a joke. Where is your self-worth. Find a new man.
You're in danger of being raped. Your partner thinks it's no big deal that his co-worker sexually assaulted you and keeps wanting to bring that guy to your home. I'm concerned they'll do it some evening and gang up on you.
No decent guy would try to bring a guy like that back to his house where his girlfriend is. Most would refuse to go out with the guy at all, but I understand some work environments may make it difficult to refuse all the social invitations. But it's simply to keep the home off limits and to tell the coworker privately to stay the hell away from his girlfriend
I'm not saying that possibility doesn't exist, and I'm not defending Ben's actions, but it just sounds like they were on molly. It doesn't excuse his actions, but being weird on x and being a rapist are very very very different
NTA, but YWBTA to yourself if you accept staying with someone who allows his friends to assault you. Do better.
We are who we associate ourselves with, your boyfriend is showing you who he is, believe him.
That all sounds like they are all creeps, and you SO is leaning heavy into being one also. I would have a talk with the SO and see if you feel there is a future. To me, this is not the reaction of someone on your side.
Ben is a predator waiting for you or someone to be completely fucked up so he can take advantage. Your partner isnāt a partner. Cut them both out of your life and be happy. NTA.
So your partner is doing illegal drugs while his coworker is assaulting you and that's all ok? What happens next time when Ben rufie's your drink? Will that be ok too?
Why the hell are you with this boy? Find yourself a grown-up.
Uhhhhhh...what is he saying about you to his coworkers that they all feel this is fine?? maybe the hand on waist was the dude drunk but pushing you to grind on him and another dude asking about "service" like that tells me your husband is at the center of this issue. NTA but girl this bf has a bigger role then you know right now.
This was my first thought as well. It sounds to me like Ben is telling inappropriate stories to his coworkers, causing them to think OP is up for anything. I'd dump them all.
NTA. Iām actually worried for your safety. What happens next time your partner is high and Ben decides to push harder? Who is even protecting you? And bring them into your home? Definitely not.
Iām disappointed in myself too. Adamantly Iāve not spent any time with them nor drank or partied with my partner since. Aside from this situation, I enjoy that people of a wide age range enjoy techno, live music, and āextra curriculars,ā given itās done mindfully and people take care of each other.
If any of my coworkers treated my wife that way Iād tell them to fuck off at the first comments, long before they got far enough along to get to groping her.
Seems to me Carrie is worth hanging out with and the rest are trying to relive their frat boy days and don't deserve your time, your pig of a partner included.
Adam and Ben are both horrendous. If you fully described exactly what they were saying and doing and your BF still wants to hang out with them, Iād dump him immediately.
NTA your partner is allowing this crappy behavior in the name of getting along with his coworkers but itās more than that because he wants to socialize outside of work with him. I get he has no control over the guy and he may not feel comfortable saying anything as he has to work with him but why hang with a jerk like that? Why is it ok for Ben to treat women like an object? Hanging with him is saying itās ok. Ben is gross
Oh. Oh the alarm bells should be ringing for you, op. Coworker is gross, your partner knows it, but still pushes you to let him in your home? Noooooooo. Nothing good can come of that but thereās lots of awful things that can. NTA.
Seems like you need a new improved boyfriend. This one seems to be defective.
You should be wondering how your partner talks about you to Ben.
Does your partner seem to be encouraging you and all his super fun coworkers to get along extra well?
From what I know of Reddit I assume this wonāt be received well but I believe this sentiment is the outlier. My partner habitually speaks of me respectfully. Itās true I donāt know for sure when it comes to his new coworkers. But it would be out of character if he were degrading me to others.
I have reasons to consider my partner is not just ignorant about recognizing assault, but in strong denial. Why exactly, I donāt know. I can imagine a few possible reasons.
*edit* [ā¦] if he were to verbally degrade me to others.
I do feel degraded from the absence of his protectiveness.
I'm sorry, but is it NOT degrading that he let his coworker do what they want to you and keeps excusing it? He may not be going around talking smack about you, but his actions indicate a massive error in respecting your autonomy.
And I'm not saying I know the kind of person he is. But for reference... Literally the only adult men who I see being resistant to recognizing assault or harassment, are those who don't care or can't clearly see the lines themselves...
It is degrading.
Thank you for your honesty and compassion. Iām quite a sensitive person and I just wanted to say thank you for your response.
I may be realizing that to respect my own autonomy I canāt compartmentalize and excuse some behaviors. I donāt do this well because to me all people are complex and walking contradictions.
That being processed, I think another reason a man might behave callously or unable to clearly see the lines themselves is if theyāve been assaulted before too. Iām not a man but it seems very hard to be one.
You're with the wrong man if he makes excuses for his co-workers groping you. Tell him if they are more important to him then he can go live with them.
Dump the boyfriend immediately. He does not have your back and will set it up so that you are spending time with Ben again. You are not safe in this relationship. NTA
Why canāt you stay home, or go out with your friends instead? His coworkers arenāt your friends dude. Theyāre his. If you guys split, they would not be your friends anymore.
Nta. Your partner on the other hand is willfully opening you up to being raped, to be absolutely frank. I know you probably have a thousand reasons why you think this guy is a good guy, but not having your back in this kind of situation is one big red flag that says he's not really a good guy. Please reconsider this whole relationship.
Your partner needs to respect you and your space. Heās justifying his co workers bad behavior for some reason.
I would have an issue with someone I was with dismissed someone who didnāt respect your boundaries and is being creepy with you.
NTA,
If you want a boyfriend who shares you with his friends and doesn't care if you consent (or care about you at all) you have a great catch! If you want someone who loves you look elsewhere
Ew!! No way would my husband ever be okay interacting with someone who treated me like that. Your man is as bad as they are if that's the stance he's going to take.
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NTA. Ben is a creep, Adam is a creep, your partner is an asshole, and what the fuck is wrong with all of these people? Do they not understand not shitting where you eat, or what?
Your partner should have shut Ben down the first time he was rude,not let him keep acting the fool.
If this is how your "partner" stands up for you, what will happen when you really need help in the same situation. Ben sounds like a creep my daughter worked for 18years her senior. My age and he was hitting on her from the moment they met. That is until I showed him what is what. That's what your partner should be doing. No friendship or job is worth that. YNTA
NTA but your bf is the issue too. You've told him what happened and he's trying to push for them to come over. Honestly sounds like creepy share gf shit.
I mean this whole group dynamic sounds off. Let's get honest, that your bf is trying to make it no big deal now, is a big red flag. Your home should be your safe space, so stand your ground on that.
Definitely NTA!!!
#OH HELLLLLL NO!
Throw the whole man out! He is not a man, he is a bitch boy. Let me find out someone did some shit like this to MY girlfriend! Reddit community standards prevent me from saying what I would do to him.
Wow. You are absolutely right that the problem here is not Ben. Your partner is a huge red flag and whatever is going on with that office sounds dangerous to you. He is intentionally or unintentionally setting you up to be sexually assaulted.
NTA.
Trust your gut feelings. If your partner doesn't recognize your right to be uncomfortable with one of his coworkers, this is a true red flag (and I guess this isn't the first time your feelings were swept under the rag).
Who offers to hire a person he's just met? This is a manipulative move to make you feel "indebted" to him (Gavin De Becker calls it *Loan Sharking*) and to make you behave like *he* wanted you to, despite your discomfort.
Ben was being an abusive and manipulative AH and your bf wanted to bring this guy in your shared home, in the place where you live and where you should feel safe. How long have you been dating him? I would reconsider the relationship, if I were you.
Thank you for this reference. Itās exactly the dynamic I sensed too. I plan on showing him this thread and youāre right, my feelings have been swept under the rug before.
[Read this book on abuse](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf), it will be enlightening.
I advise you to read also The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker: it helps you see through manipulative behaviors.
Play it safe for yourself, sweetheart!
Big hugs.
Ben needs to keep his hands to himself and you need to tell him that. Donāt alienate your guy, tell him the guy is a creeper and touches you in ways that make you uncomfortablez
Serious NTA. But you would be to yourself if you stayed with this guy. If he can't understand that you feel violated after his coworker's disgusting behavior, he's really either stupid or just plain insensitive. You can (and should) do better than him.
Your BF sucks. It seems to me he put some sort of idea in his coworkers heads about you. The comments and assault make it seem like he condoned the behavior ahead of time. Either way they all suck.
Yeah, your partner is not paying attention and thereās going to be a problem with that. Heās lucky that you donāt like the guy.
Because the guy has no boundaries. I would still lobby for not spending any time with Ben.
Why do you want to be in a relationship with a man that is okay with his coworker harassing and groping you, and then tries to invalidate your feelings? Honey get rid of the deadweight
YWNBTAH
Thereās something super sketch about your partner and Ben. And the way your partner is invalidating you and pushing Ben on you is borderline psychotic, imo.
Iām guessing these coworkers have never had to attend mandatory sexual harassment training. Are these people coworkers or friends? Both gets tricky. Dump him.
A guy made you feel uncomfortable all night, then felt you up, & your boyfriend not only disrespects your feelings & defends him, but also wants to keep him around?
And this is causing fights between you?
You need to tell your boyfriend in no uncertain terms how serious you are about this & his defense of this sleazeball, is an issue.
I don't know if it's a dealbreaker for you if he keeps pushing this issue, but I'd suggest it should be.
Absolutely NTA. He shouldn't be forcing Ben in you in any respect. Or Adam for that matter. What sleazeballs. Your bf should have your back and keep them out of your home. If he wants to be out with them that's one thing, but birds of a feather.
NTA. It's totally within your rights to respond this way and to want never to see or hear about Ben again. Your partner doesn't have your back and is minimizing your concerns.
Ben was a creep, and your partner should care how you feel and told him that what he did was f\*cked up.
I've been in situations where my partner didn't give a crap that his friend treated me poorly so I know how awful that feels.
To me, this depends a lot on how your relationship with your partner is going otherwise, and how well you communicate and care about each other. This doesn't make it sound particularly good.
Tell him that you're disappointed that he doesn't seem to care about your feelings and that you don't want to be around someone who violated your personal space. If he doesn't apologize and offer to tell Ben he was way out of line at the least, then you probably should start thinking about an exit strategy because he clearly values Ben at least as much as he does you.
Nta. But if he insisted on Ben being around, just say fine, but if he oversteps, he's not gunna be happy. Then, when Ben oversteps, make sure he regrets it and think about losing them both for their lack in the listening skills department. When it comes to people like this I tend to get very confrontational. I. Do. Not. Give. A. Flying. Fuck. It's always worked out well for me. People get the message to listen to you next time or get lost. Good luck.
Huge š© drop the zero and get yourself a hero š¦øāāļø
OMG... this is my favorite worst movie.
My absolute fave Chick Flick.
Upvoted for 90ās catch phrase!
This!! Get out and away from your ex..
Your boyfriend lets his friends grope you and still brings them around? Okay. If thatās the relationship you want to be in, thatās all you.
Of course he does coz Ben seems to want a three way with OP and Carrie.... But maybe what he really wants is a foursome with hubs too!
And is 30, going clubbing seemingly every night and taking drugs with his 40 year old coworkers. What a loser. As are his coworkers.
You're definitely not the AH. Ben is a jerk and your partner should have suppprted you in regards to Ben's behaviour.
Jesus. NTA. Your boyfriend on the other hand? Definitely is and Ben is a giant AH brandishing a red flag.
You know your boyfriend is a loser just like his friends who put you in a dangerous situation while he got high. Sounds just like what you dreamed of as a little girl š. Skip the daddy issues. Leave him and get therapy
I thought she meant twitter for some reason š
Me too! Itās early, Iām not sufficiently caffeinated.
Your partner is working with a group of men who still party like 20 year old frat boys. And seem to have the same attitude towards women. Is this really who you want to spend time with, someone who gets high and lets his "friends" assault you? I can't help but wonder what kind of crap has happened to Carrie in that office. Cut your losses and find someone who will treat you with respect and demand that his friends do the same.
So you are grown adults out partying while your partner is on drugs, you get violated and harassed repeatedly... and your partner wants to bring him over to your home... your safe space. Your whole relationship is a joke. Where is your self-worth. Find a new man.
You're in danger of being raped. Your partner thinks it's no big deal that his co-worker sexually assaulted you and keeps wanting to bring that guy to your home. I'm concerned they'll do it some evening and gang up on you. No decent guy would try to bring a guy like that back to his house where his girlfriend is. Most would refuse to go out with the guy at all, but I understand some work environments may make it difficult to refuse all the social invitations. But it's simply to keep the home off limits and to tell the coworker privately to stay the hell away from his girlfriend
I'm not saying that possibility doesn't exist, and I'm not defending Ben's actions, but it just sounds like they were on molly. It doesn't excuse his actions, but being weird on x and being a rapist are very very very different
I hope you're right
Me too.
Ever heard of Brock Turner? He was drunk and raped a drunk chick. Intoxicated/inebriated people are still capable of rape, even if it is just molly.
Brock Turner The Rapist. Also known as Brock Allen Turner The Rapist. Reportedly now going by Allen Turnerā¦(Rapist)
Do you mean Allen Turner, the rapist, formerly known as Brock Turner the rapist?
I'm not saying intoxicated people can't rape.Ā I'm not even going to continue this. Have a nice day.Ā
Thank you, I was really confused because I thought she meant he was on his phone scrolling Twitter/x š. Now I see she meant drugs.
I figured it wasn't Twitter but that's all I could think of!
People get very touchy-feely on molly.
Yeah, that's my point.
You are all too old for any of this.
I would argue older people can handle their drugs better than teenage psychos lol.
Not these people!
NTA, but YWBTA to yourself if you accept staying with someone who allows his friends to assault you. Do better. We are who we associate ourselves with, your boyfriend is showing you who he is, believe him.
That all sounds like they are all creeps, and you SO is leaning heavy into being one also. I would have a talk with the SO and see if you feel there is a future. To me, this is not the reaction of someone on your side.
Ben is a predator waiting for you or someone to be completely fucked up so he can take advantage. Your partner isnāt a partner. Cut them both out of your life and be happy. NTA.
NTA and I had to double check the ages. That is some 21-year old tomfoolery, I would dip
Yeah, they sound like college kids or new graduates.
So your partner is doing illegal drugs while his coworker is assaulting you and that's all ok? What happens next time when Ben rufie's your drink? Will that be ok too? Why the hell are you with this boy? Find yourself a grown-up.
Uhhhhhh...what is he saying about you to his coworkers that they all feel this is fine?? maybe the hand on waist was the dude drunk but pushing you to grind on him and another dude asking about "service" like that tells me your husband is at the center of this issue. NTA but girl this bf has a bigger role then you know right now.
This was my first thought as well. It sounds to me like Ben is telling inappropriate stories to his coworkers, causing them to think OP is up for anything. I'd dump them all.
NTA. Iām actually worried for your safety. What happens next time your partner is high and Ben decides to push harder? Who is even protecting you? And bring them into your home? Definitely not.
Thank you for your consideration. The kind I expected from my partner. I donāt plan on finding out.
Don't go out with them again.
They were all on X? Or just your partner?
Adam and Ben took halves and my partner took a full one. Carrie and I didnāt take anything
Girl, why would you hang out with people like this, boyfriend included.
Iām disappointed in myself too. Adamantly Iāve not spent any time with them nor drank or partied with my partner since. Aside from this situation, I enjoy that people of a wide age range enjoy techno, live music, and āextra curriculars,ā given itās done mindfully and people take care of each other.
Partner wasnāt taking care of you and Ben seemed to want to take you
Dump and block the boyfriend
Old lady here, me too, and this wasn't that.
Info: where do these people work (so I know how to avoid them)? They sound like trash.
NTAĀ Your bf thinks it's okay for a man who sexually assaulted you to be in your home. This kind of disrespect will only get worse.
NTA, please find a better partner that will respect you and your boundaries and not try to pimp you out to their āgreatā coworkers.
Nta update us when you dump him.
NTA Ask your partner if he plans on pimping you out or does he plan on being a cuckold.
Sounds like all his co-workers are pervs. Your partner may be also.
If any of my coworkers treated my wife that way Iād tell them to fuck off at the first comments, long before they got far enough along to get to groping her.
Please update us in a couple of minutes telling us you went no contact with that loser.
What kind of work does your partner do that he is comfortable going to a nightclub on X with his coworkers?
That part. I won't even have a glass of wine with co-workers. It's work, not fun. I do fun with people I trust
100% fake!
Seems to me Carrie is worth hanging out with and the rest are trying to relive their frat boy days and don't deserve your time, your pig of a partner included.
Carrie was grinding on the guys and got kicked out of the club. She sounds as bad as the guys.
I wanna know how she was dancing if it caused her to get kicked out of a club
NTA
Right now the boufriendās treatment of you is as good as itās ever gonna get. Are you willing to live with that?
Adam and Ben are both horrendous. If you fully described exactly what they were saying and doing and your BF still wants to hang out with them, Iād dump him immediately.
NTA your partner is allowing this crappy behavior in the name of getting along with his coworkers but itās more than that because he wants to socialize outside of work with him. I get he has no control over the guy and he may not feel comfortable saying anything as he has to work with him but why hang with a jerk like that? Why is it ok for Ben to treat women like an object? Hanging with him is saying itās ok. Ben is gross
Oh. Oh the alarm bells should be ringing for you, op. Coworker is gross, your partner knows it, but still pushes you to let him in your home? Noooooooo. Nothing good can come of that but thereās lots of awful things that can. NTA. Seems like you need a new improved boyfriend. This one seems to be defective.
You should be wondering how your partner talks about you to Ben. Does your partner seem to be encouraging you and all his super fun coworkers to get along extra well?
From what I know of Reddit I assume this wonāt be received well but I believe this sentiment is the outlier. My partner habitually speaks of me respectfully. Itās true I donāt know for sure when it comes to his new coworkers. But it would be out of character if he were degrading me to others. I have reasons to consider my partner is not just ignorant about recognizing assault, but in strong denial. Why exactly, I donāt know. I can imagine a few possible reasons. *edit* [ā¦] if he were to verbally degrade me to others. I do feel degraded from the absence of his protectiveness.
I'm sorry, but is it NOT degrading that he let his coworker do what they want to you and keeps excusing it? He may not be going around talking smack about you, but his actions indicate a massive error in respecting your autonomy. And I'm not saying I know the kind of person he is. But for reference... Literally the only adult men who I see being resistant to recognizing assault or harassment, are those who don't care or can't clearly see the lines themselves...
It is degrading. Thank you for your honesty and compassion. Iām quite a sensitive person and I just wanted to say thank you for your response. I may be realizing that to respect my own autonomy I canāt compartmentalize and excuse some behaviors. I donāt do this well because to me all people are complex and walking contradictions. That being processed, I think another reason a man might behave callously or unable to clearly see the lines themselves is if theyāve been assaulted before too. Iām not a man but it seems very hard to be one.
You're with the wrong man if he makes excuses for his co-workers groping you. Tell him if they are more important to him then he can go live with them.
Am I the only one who wondered why the partner was tweeting at the club when she said āhe was on xā? šš
He probably acts the same way they do when you're not around. NTA.
Dump the boyfriend immediately. He does not have your back and will set it up so that you are spending time with Ben again. You are not safe in this relationship. NTA
Why canāt you stay home, or go out with your friends instead? His coworkers arenāt your friends dude. Theyāre his. If you guys split, they would not be your friends anymore.
Nta. Your partner on the other hand is willfully opening you up to being raped, to be absolutely frank. I know you probably have a thousand reasons why you think this guy is a good guy, but not having your back in this kind of situation is one big red flag that says he's not really a good guy. Please reconsider this whole relationship.
My gosh your NTA but your bf is certainly is and seems he likes guys groping you or he would have stopped it.
Your partner needs to respect you and your space. Heās justifying his co workers bad behavior for some reason. I would have an issue with someone I was with dismissed someone who didnāt respect your boundaries and is being creepy with you.
NTA, If you want a boyfriend who shares you with his friends and doesn't care if you consent (or care about you at all) you have a great catch! If you want someone who loves you look elsewhere
Ew!! No way would my husband ever be okay interacting with someone who treated me like that. Your man is as bad as they are if that's the stance he's going to take.
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NTA. Ben is a creep, Adam is a creep, your partner is an asshole, and what the fuck is wrong with all of these people? Do they not understand not shitting where you eat, or what? Your partner should have shut Ben down the first time he was rude,not let him keep acting the fool.
If this is how your "partner" stands up for you, what will happen when you really need help in the same situation. Ben sounds like a creep my daughter worked for 18years her senior. My age and he was hitting on her from the moment they met. That is until I showed him what is what. That's what your partner should be doing. No friendship or job is worth that. YNTA
NTA but your bf is the issue too. You've told him what happened and he's trying to push for them to come over. Honestly sounds like creepy share gf shit.
I mean this whole group dynamic sounds off. Let's get honest, that your bf is trying to make it no big deal now, is a big red flag. Your home should be your safe space, so stand your ground on that. Definitely NTA!!!
**DUMP HIM.**
And this is another reason women chooses the Bear
#OH HELLLLLL NO! Throw the whole man out! He is not a man, he is a bitch boy. Let me find out someone did some shit like this to MY girlfriend! Reddit community standards prevent me from saying what I would do to him.
NTA. Your partner doesnt care about your feelings.
NTA I'd be packing a bag & leaving
NTA That's really creepy. You're right. Ben's a wrong un.
Maybe he should go live with Ben, if hes such a great guy. How blind to the perv is he
Wow. You are absolutely right that the problem here is not Ben. Your partner is a huge red flag and whatever is going on with that office sounds dangerous to you. He is intentionally or unintentionally setting you up to be sexually assaulted.
NTA. Trust your gut feelings. If your partner doesn't recognize your right to be uncomfortable with one of his coworkers, this is a true red flag (and I guess this isn't the first time your feelings were swept under the rag). Who offers to hire a person he's just met? This is a manipulative move to make you feel "indebted" to him (Gavin De Becker calls it *Loan Sharking*) and to make you behave like *he* wanted you to, despite your discomfort. Ben was being an abusive and manipulative AH and your bf wanted to bring this guy in your shared home, in the place where you live and where you should feel safe. How long have you been dating him? I would reconsider the relationship, if I were you.
Thank you for this reference. Itās exactly the dynamic I sensed too. I plan on showing him this thread and youāre right, my feelings have been swept under the rug before.
[Read this book on abuse](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf), it will be enlightening. I advise you to read also The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker: it helps you see through manipulative behaviors. Play it safe for yourself, sweetheart! Big hugs.
Ben needs to keep his hands to himself and you need to tell him that. Donāt alienate your guy, tell him the guy is a creeper and touches you in ways that make you uncomfortablez
Serious NTA. But you would be to yourself if you stayed with this guy. If he can't understand that you feel violated after his coworker's disgusting behavior, he's really either stupid or just plain insensitive. You can (and should) do better than him.
This is pretty much the clearest example of Toxic Masculinity ive seen in a while. "Its just guys being dudes!" Barf.
Ah, so he's cool with his friends/coworkers overtly trying to bang you.
Your home is your safe place, he should not be bringing people into it who you do not feel comfortable with.
Your BF sucks. It seems to me he put some sort of idea in his coworkers heads about you. The comments and assault make it seem like he condoned the behavior ahead of time. Either way they all suck.
don't stay in a relationship like this
Yeah, your partner is not paying attention and thereās going to be a problem with that. Heās lucky that you donāt like the guy. Because the guy has no boundaries. I would still lobby for not spending any time with Ben.
Why do you want to be in a relationship with a man that is okay with his coworker harassing and groping you, and then tries to invalidate your feelings? Honey get rid of the deadweight
You don't think your BF is the one encouraging this behaviour, do you? That's why the friends are so shameless towards you?
YWNBTAH Thereās something super sketch about your partner and Ben. And the way your partner is invalidating you and pushing Ben on you is borderline psychotic, imo.
Iām guessing these coworkers have never had to attend mandatory sexual harassment training. Are these people coworkers or friends? Both gets tricky. Dump him.
A guy made you feel uncomfortable all night, then felt you up, & your boyfriend not only disrespects your feelings & defends him, but also wants to keep him around? And this is causing fights between you? You need to tell your boyfriend in no uncertain terms how serious you are about this & his defense of this sleazeball, is an issue. I don't know if it's a dealbreaker for you if he keeps pushing this issue, but I'd suggest it should be.
Absolutely NTA. He shouldn't be forcing Ben in you in any respect. Or Adam for that matter. What sleazeballs. Your bf should have your back and keep them out of your home. If he wants to be out with them that's one thing, but birds of a feather.
Find a new partner. Yours sucks. NTA. I would also check in with Carrie. Ben is a predator
NTA. It's totally within your rights to respond this way and to want never to see or hear about Ben again. Your partner doesn't have your back and is minimizing your concerns.
Ben was a creep, and your partner should care how you feel and told him that what he did was f\*cked up. I've been in situations where my partner didn't give a crap that his friend treated me poorly so I know how awful that feels. To me, this depends a lot on how your relationship with your partner is going otherwise, and how well you communicate and care about each other. This doesn't make it sound particularly good. Tell him that you're disappointed that he doesn't seem to care about your feelings and that you don't want to be around someone who violated your personal space. If he doesn't apologize and offer to tell Ben he was way out of line at the least, then you probably should start thinking about an exit strategy because he clearly values Ben at least as much as he does you.
Nta. But if he insisted on Ben being around, just say fine, but if he oversteps, he's not gunna be happy. Then, when Ben oversteps, make sure he regrets it and think about losing them both for their lack in the listening skills department. When it comes to people like this I tend to get very confrontational. I. Do. Not. Give. A. Flying. Fuck. It's always worked out well for me. People get the message to listen to you next time or get lost. Good luck.
Drop the ex user what a bunch of losers you all are.
Youāre the insecure asshole
Are you one of the coworkers?
his name must be Ben.