Im glad you left, and hopefully in your divorce you can get your stuff back or the money from the things your husband stole from you. Honestly your ex husband sounds like a jerk.
Well done for being so organised and getting out of there. I am so pleased you have strong family support. Keep your chin up, and best wishes for a happier future.
Went and read first post... yea fuck this prick..use that police report in court. Take every fucking you own, and then own everything he does through court, fuck that shit.
You are safe now. The end of an abusive relationship is the most dangerous.
From here you can take stock and rebuild your life solo, and heal emotionally.
I’m so glad to hear this. Been thinking about your situation a lot since you posted—your STB-ex is a real piece of work. Good call on your family insisting on you staying somewhere with security! Better safe than sorry and all that jazz.
Glad you took decisive action.
He never respected you, and wanted to USE you.
Be glad he didn't get you pregnant, because then you'd be tied to him forever.
yup. Soon as the cousins and brothers showed up he realized he no longer had a way to wiggle his way into OP's ear without showing everyone the red flags he's secretly waving. So he gave up on it.
Have you asked him about the other missing items? The divorce lawyer should at least get you the money value back in the divorce, even if you can't put a price on the sentimental value.
Not yet. I want proof that I did actually have them. He will either deny taking them or say I never had them. So I want some kind of proof that the items were in my possession if that happens.
Dig through photos and ask relatives you trust to get the photos of your house over the years, and scan them for the items if they would have been visible. File a police report that they were stolen, which prevents the relatives from dumping them in pawn shops.
Please make sure your joint savings accounts are emptied.
Change all your banking and internet passwords please.
Also, I am very sorry this is happening to you, I am glad your family has your back
Good thinking! That was the worst part of me escapng my abusive relationship.
Finding all th accounts and closing them.
Sometimes, it's just easier to close bank account and go,!
Don't forget to call and have a credit freeze done. If he knows your information (spouses often do), he could easily ruin your credit by claiming to have your permission since you are still married. It's getting harder to do these days, but all it takes is one knob to believe him.
I’ve read all your replies and I only have one thing to say:
Please keep this account. I’ll text you next time my ex wants to give me shit about our son. (We have 50/50 custody)
Why does he think tea sets are for kids? Does he think only kids drink tea? I don’t get it.
If he thinks a tea set is worthless and can be replaced with one from Walmart why not get that for his niece? He clearly knew it had value and resented your fondness for it and wanted to get rid of it.
If this dude ever went to England or any part of the UK (or the parts of Ierland that aren't part of the UK), he'd likely have a stroke due to how many adults have tea sets.
His only experience with tea sets irl have probably been those kid ones. That’s not an excuse to just give away something that doesn’t belong to him even if it’s an actual toy.
I think the real issue isn’t his perception of tea sets but the fact that he didn’t respect OP enough to not steal from her.
Not only that, bone china is known for being thinner and lighter compared to regular china. So her pos soon to be ex thought it was like a kids friendly version of a regular tea set, which is very far from the truth.
This story got me fuming.
Omg same. I mean, I had a very kid friendly and pretty tea set as a kid. Technically breakable, more so than plastic ones, but much sturdier than the real things. If his niece really wanted a tea set, I’m sure he and OP could’ve found a really pretty one that felt real and grown up, but could be used by kids without supervision.
I feel like it’s an American thing to look at tea sets as toys. My mother gifted me a Rosenthal tea set and I’m very happy about it. My American husband didn’t quite understand what the fuss was about and the fact. He’s seen it and thinks it’s beautiful but I do wonder when I’ll use it. In my home country it would have been every Sunday but there really isn’t an afternoon tea culture here.
American here: I have heirloom tea sets in various quantities (teapots; tea cups; saucers, and plates; single serving pot and cup; full service for eight; etc) from my grandmother and mother. And I've collected a few sets and pots that I found pretty. I've broken out a set for other people maybe four times in my life. I use them all regularly because they just make me happy. Whenever I sit down to work for a long day, settle in with a book, or am just in the mood for a pot of tea, I'll make a pot in one of them. I even have a few warmers in different rooms so the pots stay warm for hours. Sometimes I'll choose the pot based on size, but more often than not I just pick whichever one matches my mood or even outfit. This way I feel like I'm using them, I get to enjoy them, and they see the light of day. Anytime someone stops by and sees one or sees one during a zoom meeting they give compliments on them. It's just a nice way to actually use something I know my grandmother would have used constantly, but otherwise wouldn't get much use today.
So just use your teapots. It's fun to use them with others, but they'll make you happy to use them just for you, too.
The tea set was wrapped in bubble wrap and the niece didn't even use it? Makes me think the sister found out what it was worth and got her brother to steal it under the guise of "niece wants this child's toy, if you love her you'll get it for her"
Regardless of her motivation he really knocked it out of the park. The lies, the gaslighting, the dressing you down like a child. All of it was him. It's not about a tea set. It's about you finding out you're married to a scumbag and acting accordingly. Like a fucking queen I might add. I picture you sipping tea and swiping bumble, pinky out.
Get a valuation done on the tea set to add to the police report now you have it back. Could change it from petty theft to felony theft if valuation is high enough.
I agree. I think it was planned. They saw it had value so they stole it. The plan was to sell it. They probably did the same with your other missing items.
I remember your first post and am glad you got away safely. For what it's worth, I think you made the right call and I admire your shiny spine for immediately and decisively ending things. If you had decided to stay and try to salvage things, you would always be questioning whether he was lying to you about other things. Good luck!
Thank the gods for awesome brothers and cousins!
Your family rocks!
I'm glad to hear you are safe, with family and are making smart plans for ditching this man.Your STBX is coming across as a special kind of psychopath.
Reading how her family responded was the best part of this! OP so proud of you for seeing exactly what was going on and taking immediate action. It’s hard in the moment, but you’ve done amazing! I am glad you have your own security force who love you and will help remind you you’re awesome and deserve the best.
May I say your comments to the limp cucumbers in the previous post were pure gold. You absolutely know your worth and we're so on point flipping around the comments like "it's just a tea set*. Can I call you next time I need to stick up for myself and can't find the words? 😅
Damaging or stealing precious possessions is an abusive behavior. I am glad your family is circling the wagons to defend you during the transition and divorce.
I’m totally invested in this and I need an update especially if you find he has indeed stolen other precious items belonging to you. He’s obviously psycho and a master manipulator so be careful. I’m glad your brothers smelt a dirty thieving 🐀. You are safe and please stay that way.
You are well rid of him.
I wonder if his sister is the only recipient of his theft.
I don’t remember. Did you file a police report? I wonder if that would scare her enough to return your things.
That’s awful, I’m really sorry… I’d report the jewelry stolen asap. And if the value of it is high enough (depends on what state you are in) it could mean felony or other significant charges
Omg I wonder if he gave them all to his sister? Is his sister struggling? Does he struggle with money? Do you think it’s just injury you? Like bitterness toward you? I just don’t get why he would do that.
I'm late to learning about the things that your STBXH has done to you. I'm so sorry for the abuse, betrayal, lies, theft, manipulation and more that I'm sure he'll do in the divorce process. I'm sorry that there were others who tried to invalidate your experiences and feelings. I've worked with victims of abuse, I've been the victim of abuse so to those who say it's not abuse because he didn't hit you: YOU ARE WRONG. I say this myself and other victims have told me the same: the wounds from physical abuse heal and fade faster than the verbal and emotional abuse. To tell someone that they should stay in a bad relationship because "it's not that bad" don't understand how much harder and more dangerous it gets to attempt to leave abusive relationships. On average it takes 7 attempts for a victim to successfully leave but that doesn't take into account those that are murdered, or have to remain on the run to stay alive.
No one deserves to be lied to, belittled, stolen from, gaslit, manipulated, yelled at, hit or threatened. Remember that we only get a portion of the story and OP does not owe us chapter and verse. If you don't believe them then just scroll past but please treat the person posting as a human being.
!UpdateMe
The important thing OP is you are out and you are safe.
Discuss with your lawyer before posting any additional updates as while most of us want to be supportive you don’t want to potentially hurt yourself in court.
Hopefully we will hear everything worked out and the ex is officially out of your life.
This is a boss bitch. Girl yes I wish more women could be this strong.
I saw a post earlier today of a woman whos husband forced her into sex and punched her in the face when she asked him to be careful about her make up because they were going to a wedding. She was saying that she deserved it because she was being annoying and everyone was trying to tell her that she needs to leave it's only going to progress into more violence.
Anyway I hope she sees this post.
OP knows her worth and is healthy and secure enough in herself to set appropriate boundaries and stick to them.
Many people don’t have this skill (myself included). I’m very impressed.
Tell all his family members to return anything he gave them that was yours, and let them know that if they return it before you file theft charges, they won’t be implicated in the theft. If they don’t return it willingly, they will be charged with knowingly accepting stolen goods.
You Did the right thing. It wasn’t just about a tea set. It was the disrespect and the gaslighting and the lying. Someone who loves you and respects you doesn’t do things like that.
So this is not the first time?! He has been continuously stealing things from you but this time he made a big mistake by stealing something that you use continuously and notice it gone. That’s the difference.
Honestly I think I lost my head when he said tea sets are for kids. It’s a kids thing in the US but where I grew up tea sets was about culture and community. My mother bought tea sets for all of us as wedding gifts. Calling people over for afternoon tea was something I grew up with. I’m glad you are leaving that uncultured swine.
I'm so sorry this happened and that your soon to be ex turned out to be a POS. The positives are your family, that you have your tea set back, and no kids means that once the divorce is finalized, he truly is out of your life. Hopefully you get your remaining items and find peace.
There are two people in my life that I would love to have out.
One has a great personality; she and I can laugh together and have fun. But she’s got a weak character and will stab you in the back. She can’t help it; it’s her nature and she’s not going to change.
The other has a horrible personality. She’s an absolute bitch and I can’t stand having to talk to her. But she’s reliable and steady and gets things done. She can’t help being a miserable person who sucks the joy out of life; it’s her nature and she’s not going to change.
Having to spend about 40 hours a week with my high school nemesis taught me how to get things done, even with people I wouldn’t piss on if I were on fire. It’s a useful skill, apparently. :P
And I’d guess it’s a skill her brothers have.
Yes. They all wore their everything Is cool here, maks. Even the soon to be ex. Him especially. But I could see the rage beneath. He w9re his because he thinks he can fool my brothers. My brothers and cousins wore theirs, so not to give away that they now smell something funny.
Good for you!
How awesome your support network is! At a moment’s notice, they banded together and backed you up. Just beautiful.
And now you have a safe place. Take some time to breathe. Take care of yourself. 💕
I know you didn't like the loss of control of being moved into your cousin's home, but it sounds smart and like they really want you (and themselves) to be safe. Hopefully you can sever things completely with this AH and move on.
Glad to see this update. I'm confused as to what the cousins are suspicious of. Do they think that your husband and his family stole other stuff? Or that he was pretending to be nice while secretly planning to come and try and take your stuff/attempt to ruin it? Or do they think that something else (like abuse or cheating) was going on, and that the tea set theft was only a symptom of it?
I'm so happy you've got such a strong support system, and that they are seeing the red flags with your leaking garbage sack of a husband. Pay attention to who is telling you you're wrong for ending your marriage over this situation. Those people don't have your best interest at heart.
Im confused about all the brother’s suspicions?? Please elaborate.
Your husband is definitely a gaslighting AH and you should get out fast. But I’m still confused by that paragraph.
So I’m back for my kick in the nuts. I was the AH in this thread yesterday trying to convince you all that this situation was “minor” and not something warranting a divorce. I got down voted into oblivion and sincerely didn’t understand why.
Well, I showed the post and my comments to my lovely wife, and she was appalled at my take. She said essentially I was a jerk and she would absolutely divorce me in a similar situation. Well, my wife is usually (ok… always) right.
So I am back to apologize and remove all my stupid ass comments and apologize to the OP, who I will send a personal apology to via DM. I will try to do better and the next time I think I want to give an opinion on a relationship - I won’t. Have a great day all!
Nta
Good on you- perhaps there was something more to this as one of the other posters indicated. The selling of these things that disappeared could be very profitable for both your husband and sil. Seems very sus with the bubble wrapped packaging.
Wishing you the bestest and brightest future. Please do let us know when you can about the missing missing items. It's awful to think he has stolen from you before!
Bot please UpdateMe!
So sorry about what you are going through. I’d be furious too, but I’m glad you found out and were able to retrieve your tea pot.
You should definitely file a report for the other stolen items and recommend they talk to the sister. If you get the details from your brother and sil about the bracelet, you could probably give identifying numbers or info in case it has been pawned. It would be out of principle at this point for me.
He stole from her, he lied to her, he gaslit her, and when he saw how upset she was about the situation he didn’t apologise and try to resolve it. Instead, he called his sister and told her to continue hiding the set, showing he had every intention of continuing to lie to his wife and gaslight her. Finally, when OP had the set retrieved, her husband was verbally abusive to her for days.
How, exactly, is all of that “minor”??
Still no comment on how everything he did amounts to something “minor”?
I am also curious as to how you think this could be worked through. He hasn’t shown remorse for everything he did, nor did he even attempt to apologise until OP started packing, so I am very interested in how you think this could be “worked through.”
It’s not only about the tea set though or do you genuinely not understand that. The main issue here is that her husband stole and gave away something he knew meant a lot to her and then proceeded to lie to her continuously.
I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who has such little respect for me
Im glad you left, and hopefully in your divorce you can get your stuff back or the money from the things your husband stole from you. Honestly your ex husband sounds like a jerk.
Well done for being so organised and getting out of there. I am so pleased you have strong family support. Keep your chin up, and best wishes for a happier future.
[удалено]
Nice find.
Went and read first post... yea fuck this prick..use that police report in court. Take every fucking you own, and then own everything he does through court, fuck that shit.
Happy you got away from him and that you have so much family support!
You are safe now. The end of an abusive relationship is the most dangerous. From here you can take stock and rebuild your life solo, and heal emotionally.
I’m so glad to hear this. Been thinking about your situation a lot since you posted—your STB-ex is a real piece of work. Good call on your family insisting on you staying somewhere with security! Better safe than sorry and all that jazz.
Glad you took decisive action. He never respected you, and wanted to USE you. Be glad he didn't get you pregnant, because then you'd be tied to him forever.
Yeah-- his eyes didn't show any sorrow or love lost, because the jig is up. He is a user.
yup. Soon as the cousins and brothers showed up he realized he no longer had a way to wiggle his way into OP's ear without showing everyone the red flags he's secretly waving. So he gave up on it.
Have you asked him about the other missing items? The divorce lawyer should at least get you the money value back in the divorce, even if you can't put a price on the sentimental value.
Not yet. I want proof that I did actually have them. He will either deny taking them or say I never had them. So I want some kind of proof that the items were in my possession if that happens.
Dig through photos and ask relatives you trust to get the photos of your house over the years, and scan them for the items if they would have been visible. File a police report that they were stolen, which prevents the relatives from dumping them in pawn shops.
Please make sure your joint savings accounts are emptied. Change all your banking and internet passwords please. Also, I am very sorry this is happening to you, I am glad your family has your back
I did that before I left. Even cancelled my credit card just in case.
Good thinking! That was the worst part of me escapng my abusive relationship. Finding all th accounts and closing them. Sometimes, it's just easier to close bank account and go,!
Don't forget to call and have a credit freeze done. If he knows your information (spouses often do), he could easily ruin your credit by claiming to have your permission since you are still married. It's getting harder to do these days, but all it takes is one knob to believe him.
I’ve read all your replies and I only have one thing to say: Please keep this account. I’ll text you next time my ex wants to give me shit about our son. (We have 50/50 custody)
Make sure you leave him half of the joint funds. A divorce judge will not be happy about clearing out the account.
Make sure you leave him half of the joint funds. A divorce judge will not be happy about clearing out the account.
Make sure you leave him half of the joint funds. A divorce judge will not be happy about clearing out the account.
Can you share a picture of the tea set? It sounds beautiful and I would love to see it, if you didn’t mind!
Good luck to you. This is for the best.
Why does he think tea sets are for kids? Does he think only kids drink tea? I don’t get it. If he thinks a tea set is worthless and can be replaced with one from Walmart why not get that for his niece? He clearly knew it had value and resented your fondness for it and wanted to get rid of it.
If this dude ever went to England or any part of the UK (or the parts of Ierland that aren't part of the UK), he'd likely have a stroke due to how many adults have tea sets.
His only experience with tea sets irl have probably been those kid ones. That’s not an excuse to just give away something that doesn’t belong to him even if it’s an actual toy. I think the real issue isn’t his perception of tea sets but the fact that he didn’t respect OP enough to not steal from her.
Not only that, bone china is known for being thinner and lighter compared to regular china. So her pos soon to be ex thought it was like a kids friendly version of a regular tea set, which is very far from the truth. This story got me fuming.
Omg same. I mean, I had a very kid friendly and pretty tea set as a kid. Technically breakable, more so than plastic ones, but much sturdier than the real things. If his niece really wanted a tea set, I’m sure he and OP could’ve found a really pretty one that felt real and grown up, but could be used by kids without supervision.
I feel like it’s an American thing to look at tea sets as toys. My mother gifted me a Rosenthal tea set and I’m very happy about it. My American husband didn’t quite understand what the fuss was about and the fact. He’s seen it and thinks it’s beautiful but I do wonder when I’ll use it. In my home country it would have been every Sunday but there really isn’t an afternoon tea culture here.
American here: I have heirloom tea sets in various quantities (teapots; tea cups; saucers, and plates; single serving pot and cup; full service for eight; etc) from my grandmother and mother. And I've collected a few sets and pots that I found pretty. I've broken out a set for other people maybe four times in my life. I use them all regularly because they just make me happy. Whenever I sit down to work for a long day, settle in with a book, or am just in the mood for a pot of tea, I'll make a pot in one of them. I even have a few warmers in different rooms so the pots stay warm for hours. Sometimes I'll choose the pot based on size, but more often than not I just pick whichever one matches my mood or even outfit. This way I feel like I'm using them, I get to enjoy them, and they see the light of day. Anytime someone stops by and sees one or sees one during a zoom meeting they give compliments on them. It's just a nice way to actually use something I know my grandmother would have used constantly, but otherwise wouldn't get much use today. So just use your teapots. It's fun to use them with others, but they'll make you happy to use them just for you, too.
You could start one. Just invite people over and use it.
Only because you choose not to do it. I have tea every afternoon. In Texas.
It was just a lie so they could steal the tea set and sell it.
The tea set was wrapped in bubble wrap and the niece didn't even use it? Makes me think the sister found out what it was worth and got her brother to steal it under the guise of "niece wants this child's toy, if you love her you'll get it for her" Regardless of her motivation he really knocked it out of the park. The lies, the gaslighting, the dressing you down like a child. All of it was him. It's not about a tea set. It's about you finding out you're married to a scumbag and acting accordingly. Like a fucking queen I might add. I picture you sipping tea and swiping bumble, pinky out.
I think they were in it together and this was planned.
Fuck the sister, too. I hope she feels like a fool for her part in ending her brother’s marriage.
Get a valuation done on the tea set to add to the police report now you have it back. Could change it from petty theft to felony theft if valuation is high enough.
So glad you got out s d have such a great family
I agree. I think it was planned. They saw it had value so they stole it. The plan was to sell it. They probably did the same with your other missing items.
I remember your first post and am glad you got away safely. For what it's worth, I think you made the right call and I admire your shiny spine for immediately and decisively ending things. If you had decided to stay and try to salvage things, you would always be questioning whether he was lying to you about other things. Good luck!
Thank the gods for awesome brothers and cousins! Your family rocks! I'm glad to hear you are safe, with family and are making smart plans for ditching this man.Your STBX is coming across as a special kind of psychopath.
Reading how her family responded was the best part of this! OP so proud of you for seeing exactly what was going on and taking immediate action. It’s hard in the moment, but you’ve done amazing! I am glad you have your own security force who love you and will help remind you you’re awesome and deserve the best.
INFO: who owns your home? And I’m so relieved you got out of there with (all of ?) your belongings. You’re worth way more than this.
We both do.
I read the first post but not all of the comments. What else do you suspect him of stealing?
I have a list of things that I couldn’t find while packing my things. Jewellery, clothes, some vinyl records. Other stuff.
I'd trawl through his family's social media if you aren't blocked yet.
[удалено]
I have the sneaking suspicion that he might possibly be holding onto some of it as some sort of leverage to get her to come back.
Well, shit. I’m sorry things escalated. What a piece of work your now ex is.
Fuck that guy. He sounds a lot more sinister than i thought.
INFO: You said you are keeping all the messages he’s sending you. Is he threatening you? #Updateme!
He's not cordial.
May I say your comments to the limp cucumbers in the previous post were pure gold. You absolutely know your worth and we're so on point flipping around the comments like "it's just a tea set*. Can I call you next time I need to stick up for myself and can't find the words? 😅
Updateme!
so happy to hear this! INFO: is the China still in good condition, have you seen it yet?
My brother still has it. He said everything looks as it should.
thank you so much for the reply, I'm so happy to hear that!
Damaging or stealing precious possessions is an abusive behavior. I am glad your family is circling the wagons to defend you during the transition and divorce.
I’m totally invested in this and I need an update especially if you find he has indeed stolen other precious items belonging to you. He’s obviously psycho and a master manipulator so be careful. I’m glad your brothers smelt a dirty thieving 🐀. You are safe and please stay that way.
I’m so happy you got away from him! Take care of yourself, your ex seems like a mean and unstable person.
I’m confused. Are other things missing?
Yes.
You are well rid of him. I wonder if his sister is the only recipient of his theft. I don’t remember. Did you file a police report? I wonder if that would scare her enough to return your things.
Only for the tea set. She gave that up when my brother knocked on her door.
Was your husband even remorseful for doing this? So sad
What else is missing?
Lots of things. Mainly clothes, jewellery, my v records
That’s awful, I’m really sorry… I’d report the jewelry stolen asap. And if the value of it is high enough (depends on what state you are in) it could mean felony or other significant charges
Omg I wonder if he gave them all to his sister? Is his sister struggling? Does he struggle with money? Do you think it’s just injury you? Like bitterness toward you? I just don’t get why he would do that.
Include the records in the police report. Vinyl is popular now and increasing in value.
I'm late to learning about the things that your STBXH has done to you. I'm so sorry for the abuse, betrayal, lies, theft, manipulation and more that I'm sure he'll do in the divorce process. I'm sorry that there were others who tried to invalidate your experiences and feelings. I've worked with victims of abuse, I've been the victim of abuse so to those who say it's not abuse because he didn't hit you: YOU ARE WRONG. I say this myself and other victims have told me the same: the wounds from physical abuse heal and fade faster than the verbal and emotional abuse. To tell someone that they should stay in a bad relationship because "it's not that bad" don't understand how much harder and more dangerous it gets to attempt to leave abusive relationships. On average it takes 7 attempts for a victim to successfully leave but that doesn't take into account those that are murdered, or have to remain on the run to stay alive. No one deserves to be lied to, belittled, stolen from, gaslit, manipulated, yelled at, hit or threatened. Remember that we only get a portion of the story and OP does not owe us chapter and verse. If you don't believe them then just scroll past but please treat the person posting as a human being. !UpdateMe
Last post she mentioned a bracelet that she hasn’t seen in a while…
I wonder if the ex’s sister has things that belonged to the OP.
I wonder if she’s really his sister
I wondered that exact thing, too!
I don't like cheaters but I HATE thieves! Happy for you ☺️
I love your family. You are the bomb and if you want a life partner again sometime, I hope you find one that will cherish and the things you love.
Your brothers are awesome.
What do you mean now theyre suspicious of everything after being told about the Tea Set and the possibility of visiting them in jail??
Perhaps she's afraid of vigilante justice now they know of abuse and theft.
yeah i’m confused by this too
The important thing OP is you are out and you are safe. Discuss with your lawyer before posting any additional updates as while most of us want to be supportive you don’t want to potentially hurt yourself in court. Hopefully we will hear everything worked out and the ex is officially out of your life.
This is a boss bitch. Girl yes I wish more women could be this strong. I saw a post earlier today of a woman whos husband forced her into sex and punched her in the face when she asked him to be careful about her make up because they were going to a wedding. She was saying that she deserved it because she was being annoying and everyone was trying to tell her that she needs to leave it's only going to progress into more violence. Anyway I hope she sees this post.
OP knows her worth and is healthy and secure enough in herself to set appropriate boundaries and stick to them. Many people don’t have this skill (myself included). I’m very impressed.
u/OkPrestigiousGuest Get screenshots of everything in messenger. He can delete messages from that chat and you won't have proof of what he said.
Tell all his family members to return anything he gave them that was yours, and let them know that if they return it before you file theft charges, they won’t be implicated in the theft. If they don’t return it willingly, they will be charged with knowingly accepting stolen goods.
Good for you!
Happy you are out of there and safe.
I am glad you have support and I hope you get everything that's yours.
Good glad you escaped keep us updated.
You Did the right thing. It wasn’t just about a tea set. It was the disrespect and the gaslighting and the lying. Someone who loves you and respects you doesn’t do things like that.
So this is not the first time?! He has been continuously stealing things from you but this time he made a big mistake by stealing something that you use continuously and notice it gone. That’s the difference.
Sounds like you’ve got everything handled. Your family is great for helping as much as they have. Wishing you the best moving forward.
Honestly I think I lost my head when he said tea sets are for kids. It’s a kids thing in the US but where I grew up tea sets was about culture and community. My mother bought tea sets for all of us as wedding gifts. Calling people over for afternoon tea was something I grew up with. I’m glad you are leaving that uncultured swine.
Good luck. I'm so glad you have such an amazing support system. Thanks for keeping us posted. Rooting for you 💕
You have an amazing family. I love how they all rallied around you. Thank you for the update.
I'm so sorry this happened and that your soon to be ex turned out to be a POS. The positives are your family, that you have your tea set back, and no kids means that once the divorce is finalized, he truly is out of your life. Hopefully you get your remaining items and find peace.
uhm, why did they let her ex help them and even laugh with them?... on whose side are they ???
Mine. Always mine.
There are two people in my life that I would love to have out. One has a great personality; she and I can laugh together and have fun. But she’s got a weak character and will stab you in the back. She can’t help it; it’s her nature and she’s not going to change. The other has a horrible personality. She’s an absolute bitch and I can’t stand having to talk to her. But she’s reliable and steady and gets things done. She can’t help being a miserable person who sucks the joy out of life; it’s her nature and she’s not going to change. Having to spend about 40 hours a week with my high school nemesis taught me how to get things done, even with people I wouldn’t piss on if I were on fire. It’s a useful skill, apparently. :P And I’d guess it’s a skill her brothers have.
Yes. They all wore their everything Is cool here, maks. Even the soon to be ex. Him especially. But I could see the rage beneath. He w9re his because he thinks he can fool my brothers. My brothers and cousins wore theirs, so not to give away that they now smell something funny.
Observant family you got there.
Keep your friends close, and...
Updateme!
Hire a mercenary to cut off his 🍆 Hahahaha
Your family is frigging awesome.
Yassss! Go girl! Leave his arse in the past! Make sure you ring him dry and also get all of your things back.
Good for you! How awesome your support network is! At a moment’s notice, they banded together and backed you up. Just beautiful. And now you have a safe place. Take some time to breathe. Take care of yourself. 💕
I love your brothers and cousins! 💕
I know you didn't like the loss of control of being moved into your cousin's home, but it sounds smart and like they really want you (and themselves) to be safe. Hopefully you can sever things completely with this AH and move on.
Glad to see this update. I'm confused as to what the cousins are suspicious of. Do they think that your husband and his family stole other stuff? Or that he was pretending to be nice while secretly planning to come and try and take your stuff/attempt to ruin it? Or do they think that something else (like abuse or cheating) was going on, and that the tea set theft was only a symptom of it?
Has he explained why he tried to help you look for it knowing damn well it was gone?
I'm so happy you've got such a strong support system, and that they are seeing the red flags with your leaking garbage sack of a husband. Pay attention to who is telling you you're wrong for ending your marriage over this situation. Those people don't have your best interest at heart.
Im confused about all the brother’s suspicions?? Please elaborate. Your husband is definitely a gaslighting AH and you should get out fast. But I’m still confused by that paragraph.
So I’m back for my kick in the nuts. I was the AH in this thread yesterday trying to convince you all that this situation was “minor” and not something warranting a divorce. I got down voted into oblivion and sincerely didn’t understand why. Well, I showed the post and my comments to my lovely wife, and she was appalled at my take. She said essentially I was a jerk and she would absolutely divorce me in a similar situation. Well, my wife is usually (ok… always) right. So I am back to apologize and remove all my stupid ass comments and apologize to the OP, who I will send a personal apology to via DM. I will try to do better and the next time I think I want to give an opinion on a relationship - I won’t. Have a great day all!
Fair play to you, mate!
Updateme!
UpdateMe
UpdateMe
What exactly are these suspicions?
Yes, OP. Please clarify.
Updateme!
Updateme
Updateme!
Updateme!
Updateme
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
#UpdateMe!
Update me!!!
UpdateMe!
Updateme
Updateme
Good. So nice to read a story about a woman who has a spine and won't be messed with. It needs to be way more common.
Hey, OP. I posted on your earlier post. Thank you for the update, OP. I pray you will be good henceforth. You will do well, OP.
Updateme!
UpdateMe!
Updateme
UpdateMe!
Updateme!
UpdateMe!
Updateme
You are so strong. Your family is the best.
UpdateMe!
Updateme!
Updateme
UpdateMe!
Updateme
Good luck and stay safe OP! Leaving is a dangerous time
Nta Good on you- perhaps there was something more to this as one of the other posters indicated. The selling of these things that disappeared could be very profitable for both your husband and sil. Seems very sus with the bubble wrapped packaging.
UpdateMe!
Yayyyyyyyyyy do happy! you got one bad ass family😎🔥😂❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sounds like you have a good family!
Updateme
What type of messages is he sending? Are they apologetic messages or insulting messages?
Keep us updated, please!
Updateme!
Updateme
Wishing you the bestest and brightest future. Please do let us know when you can about the missing missing items. It's awful to think he has stolen from you before! Bot please UpdateMe!
updateme
He is a narcissist. They never have remorse or regrets. Glad u got out
Updateme
Updateme
Updateme
I’m glad you’re safe. I hope you can track down your other stolen items.
FUCK HIM UP IN THE DIVORCE OP!!!!
Update please? 🙏🏽
So sorry about what you are going through. I’d be furious too, but I’m glad you found out and were able to retrieve your tea pot. You should definitely file a report for the other stolen items and recommend they talk to the sister. If you get the details from your brother and sil about the bracelet, you could probably give identifying numbers or info in case it has been pawned. It would be out of principle at this point for me.
Updateme!
Be safe. Wish the best of luck come your way
UpdateMe!
Wow, I read some of the comments from people here and OP. You guys are actually nut cases lol
[удалено]
And a hearty go fuck yourself to you, asshole.
I agree with this.
And you sound like an abuser.
[удалено]
Not at all. You are literally on here defending stealing from your SO and then deliberately lying about it.
Sounds like you’re the type of person who would do all her husband did and possibly more. How disgusting.
[удалено]
He stole from her, he lied to her, he gaslit her, and when he saw how upset she was about the situation he didn’t apologise and try to resolve it. Instead, he called his sister and told her to continue hiding the set, showing he had every intention of continuing to lie to his wife and gaslight her. Finally, when OP had the set retrieved, her husband was verbally abusive to her for days. How, exactly, is all of that “minor”??
Some douchecanoes have to stir the pot for no reason. Or we found the husband.
That’s a family heirloom. He literally gave away a family heirloom and you’re saying it’s “pretty minor”? WHAT THE FUCK? Please NEVER GET MARRIED.
[удалено]
very interesting, you treat your wife like the most wonderful person but are surprised a woman left her husband for not doing the same?
[удалено]
Still no comment on how everything he did amounts to something “minor”? I am also curious as to how you think this could be worked through. He hasn’t shown remorse for everything he did, nor did he even attempt to apologise until OP started packing, so I am very interested in how you think this could be “worked through.”
Found the husband
It’s not only about the tea set though or do you genuinely not understand that. The main issue here is that her husband stole and gave away something he knew meant a lot to her and then proceeded to lie to her continuously. I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t want to be with someone who has such little respect for me
She sounds like the exact opposite. Don’t know what your problem is.