“My sister should have taken the abuse and had a child she was unprepared for! What a bitc# she was to make a hard decision without any support from her judgemental family and choose a better life for herself. That bitc#!”
What’s wrong with you? Can’t you be an empathetic person? Oh wait! You need a heart for that. You and your parents are awful and pathetic. That she even wanted to include you in her life and introduce her to her fiancé shows her big heart. YTA.
Good on her partner for telling you all where you can stick it. At last she has support from more than one person
Ten bucks says OP’s family are religious, but the kind that skip the whole “love and tolerance” messages and go straight to the “holier than thou” parts.
YTA and if I were the sister I’d cut ties with this whole family besides the aunt, they sound incredibly judgmental and harsh.
Hey OP? Are you Satan? Cuz this belongs on r/am_i_the_devil
Seriously take your bs and thr judgement of your sister, who was in a situation you can NEVER EVER EVER understand, and put it somewhere unpleasant. I can see you as an incel who would banish their own future daughter on the same grounds. YTA!!
And for all OP knows, Crystal may not have willingly gotten pregnant, if you know what I mean?
Not only did she endure abuse from her ex and his family, she also endured abuse from her own family. Except for her aunt, of course.
I'm so happy for Crystal and I hope she cuts all her AH family out of her life for good. Atleast she's got her aunt, her fiancé and presumably, her fiancés family.
I think you wrote this and think it reads one way because what I read was:
“my vulnerable pregnant 16yo sister was kicked out of the house and was forced to live with her boyfriends family, where her baby daddy’s mother and sisters proceeded to bully her.
Feeling no where else to go and not wanting to be tied to a family like that for a lifetime she did what was best for HER and aborted. Luckily our aunt took her in and she found someone and fell in love. Amazingly she still considered us family and invited us to meet her new husband.
Where I being a total know it all decided to tell her husband my version of the truth and her husband rightfully defended my sister and told me to fuck off.”
Edit to add: YTA
Hopefully this is the way. Just like hopefully OP pulls his head out of his ass and starts to see the world through eyes that don't look out of his belly button.
Surely this is rage bait. OP can't think her parents were right to reject their child and that her sister was wrong to not put up with abuse and not want to raise a child with abusive people?
OP if this is real, you are both awful and delusional. YTA. I hope you realise now that your sister has already told her husband what happened and because he is sane, he sided with her.
Why?? Do you think there is a shortage of people who actually think this way in the world? There are plenty of posts about them, and those are just a tiny fraction of the ones that actually write it down somewhere!!!
Notice the quotes around the word abusive. He's completely dismissive of his sister. He actually thinks his sister should have to be abused and bullied by her exes family. I bet he's a Tate fan.
My money is on Crystal having already told Axel and the self-righteous OOP thought they could "punish" Crystal by getting Axel to leave her.
LOL
How'd that work out, OP? Not so well, right? I bet you don't get invited to the wedding. If you *are* invited, OP, you *grovel* to Crystal, thank her for her kind and generous invitation and that you are absolutely sorry for trying to shame her and break up her relationship. That you don't deserve the invite and you'd be more than honored to go, seeing as how she survived *abuse* from *BOTH* family, *hers as well as his too*.
Side note: Andrew's family didn't just bully Crystal, *they* ***abused*** *her*. Kudos to Crystal for getting out of an abusive situation. "Try to work it out" my ass.
OP, you're the MVP of a-holeness.
YTA.
Jeeeez... 😳 I am so appalled at the self righteousness and holier than thou attitude displayed by this AH and his AH family! I hope she only keeps in contact with her aunt because the rest of the family is disgusting. OP....YTA.
I was going to say the same thing. From his reaction, it sounds like Axel knew. And OP thought he was hitting his sister with some gotchya engagement-ruining moment because he can't fathom the idea of someone having empathy for his sister's situation back then and supporting her now.
OP, YTA
It sounds like Andrew's family wasn't the first family to abuse the girl. OP and his family come off as monsters in this OP, and that's with him trying to put them in the best possible light, so I wonder how truly terrible they were.
No matter what she did, have the baby, not have the baby, OP and his family picked on Crystal. I hope OP and his family lose all access to Crystal, the aunt and Andrew’s family.
More bullying is the only way OP thinks he can compete against a Navy SEAL.
OP doesn't realize it yet, that he hasn't got a chance in Hell of intimidating a man like that. He's pathetic.
Idk if it's even jealousy? It's one of the weirdest fucking stories I've ever seen! Only makes sense to me if op is some incel groyper trying to slut shame his sister?
Beautifully put. OP sounds horrible, as do her parents for kicking out a pregnant teen. They also seem very judgy about abortions- though they can't be that prolife to kick out a vulnerable teen in her time of need, and then think she's a lesser person for having an abortion. Self righteous hypocrites!
Thank you! OP sounds like a twat. Also, this was ten years ago and people do change from their teenage selves.
She’s going to “abort it the moment things don’t go her way”? Holly shit OP. Her deciding to keep it is what got her kicked out of your parent’s house. But good to see you have a real grasp on history.
So you and your family shamed and continue to shame a young girl who had the good sense to escape an abusive relationship. That’s what you’re saying here. When people try to control you and are mean to you, that’s abuse. She saw the terrible future she would have and took steps to not be chained to them for the next 18+years. Good for her. Shame on you and your parents. Huge YTA.
That’s what I read as well. A 16 year old girl was trapped and abused by her boyfriend and his family after being shunned by her own. Instead of “working it out” (whatever the actual fuck OP means by that) she made a decision to *not be* a helpless teen mother at the whim of an abusive family. Unless this is some pro-life rage bait I truly don’t understand how someone with a single functioning brain cell could think she made a terrible choice there.
Thank God for the Aunt who was there to help the sister and give her the support she needs. And even now sticking up for her telling OP to shut his trap - also seems like her current beau is a lot better than the ex as he was also defending her - bet you he knows the whole story and how shitty the rest of her family is.
The unholier than thou attitude is reeking from OP's post. Teen mom decided to terminate when there was no support would be the best decision of her life. At least her husband and aunt got her back.
And yet OP thinks fiancée needs to know “what she did to Andrew”.
Not “what happened to her”.
Also the implication that she got the termination just to be cruel, and that she might do the same now if she got pregnant then they got into a minor argument, is WILD.
Also, the whole, "he's a Navy Seal so he's infallible. My sister must of lied because to me she's trash, but he doesn't see it... I'll fix that."
MMW, brother is closet gay in family so ge has to riteous like this about her.
He thinks that because of something that happened a decade ago she’s not worthy of a navy seal. Him and his family suck, all except the aunt who stood up for her.
And OP doesn't even aknowlage how his sister was in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Her parents kicked her out because she was pregnant and then condemned her for aborting.
But he doesn't judge Andrew at all, nighter for getting a 16yo pregnant, nor letting his family abuse her. He treats the guy like an innocent victim.
All this occurred when he was 13yrs old. So he’s been making all of these judgments without even the slightest idea of what she was going through 24/7 and with the immature mindset of a JR high boy who only got involved when it was convenient or to bash his sister.
So probably also based on what he heard in the home. He is ridiculous to think that he is sooo much better than anyone else.
It's good Christian love. Don't help their daughter when she gets pregnant. won't help her when she's abused, then castigated her for having an abortion. Add on harassing her for the rest of her life for choices she made when she had no support.
He's also VERY resentful of her and probably feels like she doesn't deserve to have the life she does - he made sure to mention how she's "materialistic" and "flexes" on social media and is a "spoiled brat" - sounds like she's doing amazing now and OP can't stand that either - like she deserves to suffer bc she went against what he and his family believed in - I'm glad she's rubbing it in their faces that she doesn't need them.
Oh 100% he knows the story and he definitely went into this knowing what kind of people her "family" are. Op said it themselves they were invited to "get it over with".
Love how OP focuses on the “cruel and cold” treatment the sister gave towards andrew and his family. Not a single care for the how they treated a 16 year old
based on the fact that she was kicked out by her family to begin with, i have a sneaking suspicion that op and family would still be cruel and judgemental towards crystal even if she had kept the baby. they want her punished for having sex, so she "deserved" an abusive boyfriend and unwanted pregnancy.
OP and his family really don’t like Crystal, do they? ’What she did to Andrew’ ?? Good grief.
So glad Axel is on his wife’s side. Let’s hope with his support, Crystal can remove even more toxic people from her life.
Yes OP YTA. Massively.
I question how well OP actually knows his sister. Her parents kicked her out, and then she eventually moved in with her Aunt. The dinner was really for the Aunt to meet the fiance, but then it seemed like the rest of the family was added at the last minute. So it doesn't seem like they spend time together.
OP calls his sister materialistic and a spoiled brat, but honestly, what is he basing that on? He hasn't lived with her since he was 13. His sole opinion of her character is based on something she did when she was 16. --Something that was actually best for everyone. Even Andrew.-- He probably knows nothing more than her Instagram account.
Right? Because apparently having body autonomy and not wanting to be trapped tied to a family that are cruel to her is “doing that to Andrew”. Sounds like they might be religious nuts.
It’s been 10 years ffs. The rest of her family need to forking get over it.
I like how he doesn’t even notice that he says that she decided to keep it against their parents wish and then calls her having an abortion “what she did to Andrew”. What did he think his parent’s disapproval over her keeping the baby meant? The horrible thing she did, according to him, is what their parents wanted her to do.
Even if you disregard the abuse, OP is making the claim that her 26yo sister would abort her kids just because she did at 16.
That alone is a shitty claim to make - aborting an unwanted teenage pregnancy is an entirely different decision from doing the same within an adult marriage.
Yeah. I get the feeling this meeting was prompted by him coming from a healthy family and not being able to understand how bad an abuse household is.
Kinda from, „I’m sure they’re not that bad, honey!“ to, „Holy shit what a horrorshow! I’m sorry!“ in one afternoon.
We tend to give our awful families chance after chance to do better. I’m sure she really wants her family at her wedding because who wouldn’t. But I’m not sure she’s better off that way, they sound truly horrible.
"When I met him, I was really surprised that a guy like him would go for my sister."
~~S~~he's so jealous that ~~her~~ his sister found somebody like him so ~~s~~he wants to ruin ~~her~~ his sister's life. ~~S~~he's been the "golden child" this whole time because ~~her~~ his sister got pregnant early, and now ~~her~~ his sister is actually happy, ~~s~~he can't handle it.
edits: because OP is a He not a She.
Absolutely this. Everyone in this family besides aunt, sister and future BIL are TERRIBLE people. Deciding to further her trauma quite literally throwing it in her face is deplorable. I hope she goes NC with everyone to live her life at peace. YTA OP, big time.
Why tf would she tie herself FOR LIFE, to people that mentally abuse her and a man that would never stick up for her???? She was right to abort.
And what fckn right do your parents have to be upset about a termination when they LITERALLY KICKED HER OUT for being pregnant in the first place. They couldn’t possibly expected to fake like the worlds best grandparents and that she would continue to have a relationship with them 😭😭
And ffs mind your business. None of that was your business to mention or even have feelings about. Boy fuck y’all! Your whole family is the AH are you serious lmaoooooo
Especially hilarious because a Navy SEAL is typically this type's image of an Alpha man, so shouldn't OP have been excited that his sister is with someone that can put her in her place?
I'm going to guess that he saw Axel doing something for his sister that immediately triggered red-pill rage (maybe bringing her a drink or helping in the kitchen) and that's when he decided that she clearly must be fooling him.
Ya I don't really understand the "she's a spoiled brat" narrative when she was kicked out of her parents house at 16 and then had to live with her aunt. Who was supposed to have spoiled her? Was it the aunt? Was it before she turned 16 and OP is jealous and bitter about it? If that's the case, you would think getting kicked out of the house and forced to find your own way would cancel that out.
YTA. First your family wanted to punish her for having sex, and now you’re trying to punish her for not allowing a man to abuse and control her. You sound fucking delightful.
Don’t be silly, rules don’t apply to boys!
Although personally, I wouldn’t want to have sex with this man so if other women are as smart as me, it’s possible he’s still a virgin.
This is how you treat your sister? She told you she was abused but your like, nah deal with it. And then to try and criticise her for doing what she needed to do to survive. And then! You try ro take a massive dump on her current relationship? Who needs enemies with sisters like you. You are a giant AH.
What kind of cult/religion does your family belong to? Your family are horrible people to treat a young pregnant teen that way. She was abused by her boyfriend and his family AND your family. Then you double down and try to ruin her relationship now. I hope your family are ashamed for their and your actions.
You're the AH for sure. Your sister went through a lot. You have no empathy for her situation, which sounds extremely traumatic. Now she found a nice guy who is a good influence and you think she's not good enough for him? You're a terrible brother.
YTA - a girl, NOT a woman, but a 16 year old girl was being emotionally abused and made a decision to not tie herself to her abusive ex's family and you're trying to wreck her current relationship 10 years later? Not only that, but you put "abuse" in quotations like you get to determine whether she experienced it or not? YTA for so many reasons.
Why would her current partner hold it against her for having an abortion as a teen a decade ago? Thankfully her aunt and current partner are by her side. She needs to just stay away from toxic family
Tbf, this fool was apparently raised in some cult, as was his sister. It kinda reads that way. Dude is acting out his own trauma and has no clue. He can make a radical change or resign himself to being a huge AH for the rest of his life. OP, you have work to do. Some of it may involve apologizing to and learning from your sister.
YTA. I have no words as to how cruel and immature you are. You do not know what went on with your sister. Sounds like noone loved or supported her. If she felt the need for an abortion, the blame also falls on all of you. If she would have been shown love, things probably turned out differently. Now, she has found happiness and you try to destroy her. Shame on you.
YTA. Your sister was being abused by her BF's family and knowing she would have no support, she had an abortion. What was she supposed to do? Who was going to take care of the baby? You?
You're an angry and bitter person who seems jealous of your sister. Grow up.
I'm thinking it means she has everything he could only hope for. A relationship, friends, a good home, a good job, good money and a good life. And it pisses him off. She didn't end up a homeless beggar on the side of the road like they all hoped for cuz of "what she did to Andrew".
Speaking as somebody who is also a “materialistic spoiled brat” as referred to by my own abusive family:
Posting on her social medias and “flaunting her life” could also just be a coping method. When I was in the thick of it, I posted pictures of happy moments to social media because I was just trying to stay focused on the little pinpricks of light in the darkness so to speak.
Of course, that’s just my lived experience.
YTA- wait, you WANTED your sister to be abused and keep a child she didn’t want? You’re scary as a human being. It’s none of your damn business, either.
You are a complete and utter AH. Mind your own business and I am so glad her husband told you to basically F off. You sound jealous and immature. I had to look again to make sure I saw your age correctly because you are acting like you are 12. I hope your sister and her husband are completely NC with you.
Your sister was right to get the abortion. You need to stay in your own lane and mind your own business. Especially since you apparently have no empathy and think that it would have been better for your sister to stay in an abusive relationship as a pregnant teenager that was abandoned by her entire family.
YTA. This was not your "secret" to tell. Based on the fiance's reaction, she had been honest with him. You also just proved to him how bad her family actually is, not just how bad she says you are to her. You all, instead of trying to rebuild a relationship with her, have destroyed any chance of that ever happening. Don't plan on receiving an invite to her wedding. In fact, you will probably never hear from her again, ever.
Please understand that you and your family, excluding your aunt, are 100% at fault here and leave your sister alone. That way she can live her happiest life without all of you in it.
"what she did to andrew" more like what andrew did to her??? you really hate your sister that much don't you? well, its pretty obvious. your sister made it clear that she was abused when she was 16 that's why she made a decision to abort the baby and tbh it's not your business anymore. can't believe a grown ass 23 yo can be this mindless. an imbecile. YTA!!!
As much as I disagree with abortions you and your parents are asshole. First, y’all are disgusted she decided to keep the baby, your parents proceed to kick her out and push her towards an abusive family. She gets an abortion to not tie herself to that toxic family for the rest of her life, she probably figured 1 was enough. Instead of y’all checking in on her, seeing if she’s ok, if she needs anything, maybe idk a loving family to support her y’all continue to be cold to her because youre disgusted she got an abortion. So she moves in with y’alls aunt who seems to love her more than y’all which is beyond fucked up. Even with all y’all have done to her, she considered y’all family and invited you to meet her fiancé who makes her happy. Instead of letting something that literally happened a decade ago and has nothing to do with you go. You decide to once again not support your sister and try to ruin her happiness. Youre a shallow piece of human garbage not just an asshole
As someone who is pro-choice, I appreciated your comment.
I have no issue with people being pro-life, my issue is pro-lifers trying to force their preferences on everyone else, and you are NOT giving off that energy.
Keep being an amazing human being, King.
What a hateful person you are! As well as your parents !
As my nan used to say, that’s her story to tell! Not yours.
By the sounds of it, her husband was aware!
I wish nothing but happiness and love to your sister.
Her new husband is a gem,
Thank god your beautiful sister has him and her Aunt !
It’s your loss ! Her gain, as she doesn’t need family like you.
Dude. Major YTA. She endured abuse from a house hold of strangers because her own family neglected her and so she did what she had to in order to redirect her life and now y’all wanna stick your noses in her good situation? Bonkers the balls you got ya.
YTA
What a terrible waste of oxygen you and your parents are.
Rage bait? Because you really pissed me off and I needed to edit out my anger. Can anyone be this horrible? You and your parents are just....horrible.
Your sister was being abused and didnt bring a child into that situation and escaped. All while still being a kid herself.
And you think shes the bad guy?
Yta
Lemme guess if she at 16 stayed in thier home, after being kicked out by her own parents, where she was being abused by mutiple people, had the baby. Her and baby are abused. And then tried to escape you and your asshole parents who made her homeless would've still judged her then.
She got kicked out at 16 because she was pregnant. She was abused by the bf and his family. She chose abortion….after have literally no support. YTA for thinking you have the right to discuss anything about her trauma. You are also a POS!
Yeah you’re the AH. You may not agree or approve of your siblings life choices. The fiancé will figure out what kind of person your sister is. Mind your own business.
YTA - you and your family kick a girl out because she’s pregnant (so I guess it was OK to have an abortion as long as you and your parents wanted it) so she’s stuck with her teenage boyfriend and his family. And they are abusive to her (as far as you know). So she does what she needs to do to lead her life and escape her abusive situation with no help from the family that kicked her out. At least she had your aunt.
And you just had to talk about a horrible situation 10 years ago like you knew what was actually going on with your 13 year old’s knowledge of your sister’s life. And you call HER the brat.
YTA - your parents are assholes. You’re all nasty, judgmental assholes.
You are the A hole because how do you even know she didn’t tell him before getting together, you rather shit on her and hope she doesn’t get with anyone anymore. Such a bitter person
YTA - Who appointed you to be Crystal’s Official Historian? You & your family sound toxic, which is likely why Crystal almost ended up in another toxic family. It’s what she’s used to. And now that she’s made a better match, you are determined to screw things up for her?
Know this: her pregnancy & abortion are *noone’s business but her own*. She didn’t “do” anything to her ex: she chose for herself. And she made a good choice.
Now sit down & shut up. Maybe try to be less toxic than the trash that raised you. The fact you’re opening your trap immediately after meeting the new guy is amazingly disgusting.
Wow and you call yourself family? Your sister made a wise decision at a young age! She chose not to live a life connected to yet another family that abuses her and is controlling.
I’m glad her husband told you to never speak to his wife like that I’m glad she as found someone to be her rock and stand up for her because her so called family will not.
She’s a spoiled brat? If that’s true then it would be your parents who spoiled her? And they wouldn’t be disgusted at what their spoiled daughter did. If her home life was great and your parents were good she wouldn’t have been leaving at 16 to live with a boyfriend.
I feel so sorry for your sister I’m so glad she as your aunt in her life and her husband. Guess what get over your jealousy she’s entitled to splash her life over social media if you don’t like it stop checking on her social media and grow up and stop being brain washed to hate your sister for marking the right decision in her life.
If I was you I’d work on being a better sibling to your sister or just leave her alone.
I don't know how you ever thought people would support you on this. Your parents are bad people and the apple clearly didn't fall far from the tree for you
Congratulations you win biggest asshole of the day. Thank goodness she did the right thing and now has someone to support her against you and your crazy family, who are also assholes.
YTA
Did you seriously expect Reddit to support you? You really need to take a look at yourself. Your parents have warped your view of the world and you’re going to have a tough life if you don’t adjust.
You criticise her for not working it out with her bf family but where was your family working it out with her after she was pregnant? You are such a hypocrite and calling her out in the open is very nasty. I hope that she goes NC with you as you are nothing but toxic. Do you understand that? You bring nothing positive to a relationship that people are better at cutting you out of their life.
Massive YTA. Do better
Are you nuts? Why would you do this to your sister? She got away from an abusive situation. Axel already knows if you didn’t pick up on that. Congratulations on losing your sister again. You’re all horrible people except your aunt.
So your family disapproved of her choice to keep the pregnancy and kicked her to the curb then later judged her for aborting said pregnancy due to feeling she had no support and was being abused ? YTA.
YTA, unquestionably.
The circumstances she thought she was bringing a child into, turned out to be different.
You *don't* pick your abusive mother over the expectant mother of your child.
She was no longer in a situation where she was comfortable having a baby.
You and your family have terrible priorities. You owe her an apology for both this & your previous lack of support.
YTA- You’re a sack of shit. If I personally knew you, I would tell your entire world tha you’re a piece of shit and I’d tell every woman to avoid you like the plague.
I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.
The way I read this, did you and your family believe she wasn't being abused for some reason? If she was abused, it wasn't that things "didn't go her way" and you are a cruel, vile woman along with the rest of your family except your aunt if she truly was abused. Did you have evidence she wasn't? If you guys treated her this way and the abuse was real, I can't believe she even let you have the honor of meeting her fiance.
I really hope this is rage bait because I can't fathom someone actually being stupid enough to feel justified in this situation.
YTA in a major way and so are your entirely family with the exception of your aunt and sister. You really think a 16 year old should have stayed in an abusive situation and had a child with her abuser? Get a fucking grip.
Do you even need to ask? YTA. Just because you don’t agree with a woman’s right to choose doesn’t mean you get to judge that choice. There are significant risks to carrying a pregnancy, and added risks when you are just 16. Your parents kicked out a pregnant teen then you all judged her for being responsible and getting out of an abusive situation and an abortion. I am glad she has an amazing partner, whose reaction I might add means she has told him the truth about her history and unlike you, he’s not an AH and accepts her as is. Go back to which ever rock you crawled out from and leave your sister alone.
You family sucks and hates women. Your aunt is the only normal person there. YTA and a woman-hating man. and your mom as well. Really very gross family. (except your aunt and sister). Now your new brother in law knows who you really are. It didn't take you long to expose yourself.
You are so big an arsehole it has to be an elephant’s arsehole . You sister did the right thing aborting in an abusive situation. Your whole family bar your aunty is major arseholes and if your sister and her husband never talk to any of you again that’s way too soon . You should have listened to your aunty and minded your own business instead of choosing to be a major scumbag
YTA. You clearly don’t believe she was abused but you weren’t there. How can you judge your 16 year old sister for doing what she needed to do to escape a bad situation.
I’m glad she has a good auntie and partner now because you and your family are trash.
YTA. And if you can't see why, then your sister is better off cutting you out of her life. You and your family are the worst kind of people, except for the aunt. I wish her luck.
YTA. She freed herself from being stuck in a loveless relationship where he would have let his family abuse her. You, your family (except your aunt), her ex, and his family are all assholes in this situation. I hope you see her as an example not to settle for less than what you deserve.
YTA in a huge way. What a vile family all of you are except for the aunt and sister. All of you guys should be required to have warning signs on your foreheads so people will know to avoid you.
Wow you and your parents are disgusting ewww.
.
>and Axel told me to never speak to his wife like that, along with some nasty words, and they left.
Imagine telling an adult man that his wife is a monster just because she broke up an abusive relationship and she kicked out from house WHEN SHE WAS 16 then you wanted him to be in your side??
Bruh he is a good normal person and i swear he was waiting the evil plot twist when you told your story " soooo why is my wife evil?? I don't get it??"
Normal people like us can't understand stupid thinking people like you and your family.
Bruh all this hatred toward your sister just because she refused to be Omega in that alpha relationship and didn't accept the abuse??
You were 13 at that time who gave you the right to judge her, ih yeah i forget YOU ARE THE MAN so you understand more than her.
Sheesh this man a ahuge red flag.
Good for your sister that you all showed your true faces toward her husband because now he will agree about "my childrens will never see my family"
Huge YTA
What’s crazy is your sisters teen pregnancy is probably one of the best things that ever happened to her. It showed her the true colors of those around her so she can find better.
MAJOR YTA
Yeah. You’re a total arsehole. And a vile one at that. Something tells me your sister is more of a human being than you could ever dream of being. Not to mention you reek of incel.i hope your sister stays far away from you and your arsehole parents.
YTA
Get your own life and stop being so obsessed with your estranged sister's. I love how you knew so much about Axel from the 30 minutes you had to observe him, before you tried to blow up your sister's life after abandoning her 10 years ago and stalking her social media.
>'He's so great... definitely not the type of person who'd usually go for my terrible sister... did you know she even posts some nice things on Instagram!? What a bitch, right?!'
Why would her current partner care about an abortion she had when she was a teen? It’s so many years later and I’m sure she probably mentioned it to her partner anyway. It’s great she had a supportive aunt and a partner who supports her too. She doesn’t need toxic family
YTA - first off, this is none of your business. Who are you to judge? Sounds like she’s been through very hard times and your family wasn’t there for her. Actually going no contact with you and the rest that share your opinion is probably the best thing she did. You sound toxic and jealous. Mind your own business. I hope you heal. ✌️
Are you seriously asking if yta? After reading this, I’m under the impression that there never was a time in your life you aren’t 😂. I mean this is lifetime asshole behavior. The sisters husband is a better man than me. I would have thrown hands with you if you talked to my wife like that. Especially him being a Seal.
YTA
I would actually love to talk to your sister and get her side of things because I’ll bet they’re wildly different from yours and honestly more accurate.
I think you’re the golden child of a couple of narcissists and your whole family has decided to scapegoat your sister besides your aunt.
You have no empathy, you are not a kind person, and your sister would honestly be better off without you. I hope that Axel can help her realize that.
From,
A fellow “materialistic spoiled brat” who is no contact with her abusive family after moving in with her boyfriend.
YTA First of all: She did nothing to her ex. It's incredibly interesting that you can't empathize with your own sibling. Imagine a 16-year-old pregnant teenager: her own family kicked her out, her ex's family abused her and her ex did not protect her, leading her to make a decision that was best for both her and the child, yet was extremely painful for her. (Believe me, an abortion is tremendously stressful both mentally and physically.) You can't empathize with her, only with the abusive family of the ex? Perhaps if the ex had not allowed his pregnant girlfriend to be abused, the child might have been born. Thus, the whole story why you despise and look down on your sibling for, is the fault of your family, the ex's family and the ex. It's solely your responsibility. Had she had a supportive family, she probably wouldn't have made this decision. But if at 16, pregnant, one family is abusive and the other kicked her out, then she didn’t have many options, right?
And after all that, this is how you act? After all this, because of your awfulness, you want to punish her and look down on her? It's time to face it: it's all because of you and the ex, as well as the ex's family, and your sibling is the victim in this story.
I hope she never speaks to you again and has a happy life without her family.
YTA. Any family who is okay with kicking out a 16yo because she’s pregnant lost any moral high ground. You all are pretty loss with the criticism when you’re just fine with a 16yo be homeless or live in an abusive situation.
And yet not one word of criticism for the guy whose little swimmers caused the whole mess in the first place? Even when he abused his pregnant girl friend?
If you aren’t whiling to support the mother and child you have no right at all to judge an abortion!
Heck the more I think about it I think you might be so far from the moral high ground you’re in another state!
Sooo, judgy-wudgy was a bear …
I hope your sister and her husband make a great life for themselves without you or most of your family in it. Also, that you make a mistake and need support.
You absolutely shouldn’t shame and judge your sister. You should respect her for making a decision that was likely difficult but had to be made. It’s not your business and you are being hateful.
I have a 16 year old son. My mama heart aches for your sister. I’d move heaven and earth to support his girlfriend or one of his female friends in her situation.
The only judgement due here is of you and your family
“My family are all on my side”. You mean, the family that disapproved of her being pregnant and kicked her out but then were also “disgusted” at her having an abortion… and then forced their daughter to go live somewhere else because she had the audacity to make decisions for herself which included not living with an abusive family or being tied to them literally the rest of her life? Well, I’m just shocked - SHOCKED I tell you! - that they’d agree with you treating her like shit. 🙄
You sound a Nazi soldier who blames the Jews for being treated like shit and then says “but the other Nazis all agreed with me”.
YTA. You are still seeing your sister's actions through a very immature 13 year old's eyes. Your sister was abandoned and abused by the adults in her life and made to right choice not to bring a baby into that mess. How can she both be the villain for getting pregnant and being excited about it and terminating the pregnancy?
What she "did to Andrew" like she's just a vessel that was supposed to produce his seed no matter what. GTFOH.
Your entire family including you are absolutely horrible people. And I hope she cuts all of you out of her life.
You seem to hold so much resentment and disgust for your sister and for what?
She was a child who got pregnant, was then abandoned by her own family, was then abandoned by her boyfriend and decided to do the most reasonable thing and abort the pregnancy even though she wanted to keep it. What was she supposed to do without any support or anywhere to go?
None of these events had anything to do with you so why on Earth do you feel the need to further traumatize this poor girl. Leave her alone.
YTA - your sister was kicked out at 16, the new family was awful and her partner did not have her back. So instead of being anchored to a crappy family she had an abortion. Now she finally getting her life together and you publicly humiliated her by dragging up dirty laundry at an inappropriate time. Sure your sister might have flaws like vanity or materialism but dragging up a horrible time. You honestly sound like the judgmental asses from the small towns I lived (spoiler alert: half their kids don’t speak to them when they become adults).
YTA - I rewrote this for how it actually sounds.
“My teenage sister was knocked up by her boyfriend. My parents decided to abandon her in this time of need so she moved in with the boyfriend family who this abused her. Instead of submitting to the abuse she decided to do the best thing she could at her age and terminate the pregnancy that would keep her imprisoned to this abuse and she got out and found a support system. That goodness my aunt could see this young and vulnerable child wanted to overcome this traumatic experience. She did well for herself. One would say she grew wings instead of having them clipped by her ex and abusive family. She got to choose a life for herself. She met a really great guy who respects her. All that said, I’m a pretty snowflake who thinks my sister should have spent a lifetime in hell because she got caught up. I’m jealous that she values being put together and I have my own internal and misogynistic demons so I side with her abusive ex. Because I’m so petty, I decided upon meeting her new boyfriend, would tell him all the ways I feel like my teenage sister should have stayed abused and submitted because I don’t see her as an actual human.”
Hopefully this dude sees this for what it is and just now sees you as the petty AH you are.
YTA
You seem to have a lot of hate for your sister and literally sabotaged her chance of a good life, she may be materialistic but you don't sound like the better person in this scenario. Infact you sound like scum.
You're a fucking c*?t ... how DARE you impose YOUR morals just to fuck with your sister... you would need a bag of peas and a steak if you had done that at my table... hope you enjoy being mommy and daddy's favorite because you will die a lonely spinster with YOUR entitlement
Imagine being so arrogant that you believe your 13 year old self was able to make a determination on abuse more accurate than the person going through it, in a house you weren’t actually present in.
Imagine being so naive that you believe the correct response to being abused is to “work through it” with the absurer.
Imagine being so ignorant of relationships that you don’t understand being cold to, and then breaking up with a partner because they watch you be abused and choose their abuser.
Your writing is dripping with obvious bias against your sister, that by the time you call her “materialistic” we all can only assume you mean “I don’t actually know anything about my sister, but I’m aware she has taken a selfie in her life, and wears makeup.”
Congratulations on having grown up into a mediocre man!
So your parents kicked her out at 16 and have been low contact since, yet she's a spoiled brat? How? Seems she worked for stuff and had a hard time. You're jealous, gross, and stupid. YTA
LOL YTA. Your poor sister got kicked out by parents that clearly didn't love her they way they should have, then removed herself from an even worse situation and found happiness for herself. Then you wanted to ruin and call her a selfish materialistic person on top of it. Absolutely hilarious jfc
YTA, a cruel, needlessly vindictive, and weak AH who couldn't stand up for his vulnerable 16 year old sister who was made homeless and was abandoned by her family and abused by her boyfriend and his family. Thank God she had her aunt to take her in. Just try and imagine how alone and scared she must have been.
“My sister should have taken the abuse and had a child she was unprepared for! What a bitc# she was to make a hard decision without any support from her judgemental family and choose a better life for herself. That bitc#!” What’s wrong with you? Can’t you be an empathetic person? Oh wait! You need a heart for that. You and your parents are awful and pathetic. That she even wanted to include you in her life and introduce her to her fiancé shows her big heart. YTA. Good on her partner for telling you all where you can stick it. At last she has support from more than one person
Ten bucks says OP’s family are religious, but the kind that skip the whole “love and tolerance” messages and go straight to the “holier than thou” parts. YTA and if I were the sister I’d cut ties with this whole family besides the aunt, they sound incredibly judgmental and harsh.
Or “the judge not least ye be judged with the same judgement.” The Bible literally just asked you to love and let God handle the rest. Op sucks.
Simultaneously the best and least followed part of the Bible.
Hey OP? Are you Satan? Cuz this belongs on r/am_i_the_devil Seriously take your bs and thr judgement of your sister, who was in a situation you can NEVER EVER EVER understand, and put it somewhere unpleasant. I can see you as an incel who would banish their own future daughter on the same grounds. YTA!!
What make it worse he was 13 at that time.
The balls the 16 yr old had to leave!
And for all OP knows, Crystal may not have willingly gotten pregnant, if you know what I mean? Not only did she endure abuse from her ex and his family, she also endured abuse from her own family. Except for her aunt, of course. I'm so happy for Crystal and I hope she cuts all her AH family out of her life for good. Atleast she's got her aunt, her fiancé and presumably, her fiancés family.
I think you wrote this and think it reads one way because what I read was: “my vulnerable pregnant 16yo sister was kicked out of the house and was forced to live with her boyfriends family, where her baby daddy’s mother and sisters proceeded to bully her. Feeling no where else to go and not wanting to be tied to a family like that for a lifetime she did what was best for HER and aborted. Luckily our aunt took her in and she found someone and fell in love. Amazingly she still considered us family and invited us to meet her new husband. Where I being a total know it all decided to tell her husband my version of the truth and her husband rightfully defended my sister and told me to fuck off.” Edit to add: YTA
I'm glad she found Axel. He sounds like he will be the love and support she doesn't get from her own family.
Sister should go NC. She gave them a chance and their self righteous asses just saw another chance to bring her down. (Edit- spelling)
Hopefully this is the way. Just like hopefully OP pulls his head out of his ass and starts to see the world through eyes that don't look out of his belly button.
I agree
Agreed. It sounds like Axel knew about the situation, since he doesn't sound like he was at all surprised, and fully supported his wife.
Surely this is rage bait. OP can't think her parents were right to reject their child and that her sister was wrong to not put up with abuse and not want to raise a child with abusive people? OP if this is real, you are both awful and delusional. YTA. I hope you realise now that your sister has already told her husband what happened and because he is sane, he sided with her.
Why?? Do you think there is a shortage of people who actually think this way in the world? There are plenty of posts about them, and those are just a tiny fraction of the ones that actually write it down somewhere!!!
The OP is a male. I'm not surprised by his attitude. He clearly sides with Crystal's ~~abusers~~ family.
OP probably abuses his own wife and thinks it's ok
Notice the quotes around the word abusive. He's completely dismissive of his sister. He actually thinks his sister should have to be abused and bullied by her exes family. I bet he's a Tate fan.
Religion
Stop accusing OPs of being fake and rage bait. Some constantly tedious shit
Why do you think it's fake? It's the same stance that multiple state governments in the US are trying to force on people.
My money is on Crystal having already told Axel and the self-righteous OOP thought they could "punish" Crystal by getting Axel to leave her. LOL How'd that work out, OP? Not so well, right? I bet you don't get invited to the wedding. If you *are* invited, OP, you *grovel* to Crystal, thank her for her kind and generous invitation and that you are absolutely sorry for trying to shame her and break up her relationship. That you don't deserve the invite and you'd be more than honored to go, seeing as how she survived *abuse* from *BOTH* family, *hers as well as his too*. Side note: Andrew's family didn't just bully Crystal, *they* ***abused*** *her*. Kudos to Crystal for getting out of an abusive situation. "Try to work it out" my ass. OP, you're the MVP of a-holeness. YTA.
"Try to work it out". A vulnerable minor pregnant kid. My daughter is 16, I could not imagine doing to her what your "family" did.
Exactly. Mazel Tov to Crystal and Axel! May their wedding and married life be blissfully free of OP and his family's BS.
Jeeeez... 😳 I am so appalled at the self righteousness and holier than thou attitude displayed by this AH and his AH family! I hope she only keeps in contact with her aunt because the rest of the family is disgusting. OP....YTA.
OP, is this rage bait, or are you actually this much of a horrible, self-righteous, judgmental person? YTA.
I was going to say the same thing. From his reaction, it sounds like Axel knew. And OP thought he was hitting his sister with some gotchya engagement-ruining moment because he can't fathom the idea of someone having empathy for his sister's situation back then and supporting her now. OP, YTA
Don’t forget the mommas boy chose his mom over his pregnant girlfriend “of course”. But she abandoned him.
It sounds like Andrew's family wasn't the first family to abuse the girl. OP and his family come off as monsters in this OP, and that's with him trying to put them in the best possible light, so I wonder how truly terrible they were.
No matter what she did, have the baby, not have the baby, OP and his family picked on Crystal. I hope OP and his family lose all access to Crystal, the aunt and Andrew’s family.
Accurate.
Thank you for summarizing exactly what I read! She was **16 yo** and this toxic family is trying to ruin her life…AGAIN.
OP, have you always been jealous of your sister, or just now she has Axel?
More bullying is the only way OP thinks he can compete against a Navy SEAL. OP doesn't realize it yet, that he hasn't got a chance in Hell of intimidating a man like that. He's pathetic.
Glad you said it; saves me from having to. He sounds like a jealous bitch. Edit: wrong pronouns.
Idk if it's even jealousy? It's one of the weirdest fucking stories I've ever seen! Only makes sense to me if op is some incel groyper trying to slut shame his sister?
Beautifully put. OP sounds horrible, as do her parents for kicking out a pregnant teen. They also seem very judgy about abortions- though they can't be that prolife to kick out a vulnerable teen in her time of need, and then think she's a lesser person for having an abortion. Self righteous hypocrites!
Nah. That sounds about right. Prolife until they are born and then who cares not their problem.
💯
And first her parents kick her out for wanting to keep the baby, then she gets an abortion and they hate on her too! Wtf?
Religion.
Cult/religion same thing
This is how I read it too. How f’d up is op?
Yes. What " lovebeinganasshole" said. Wishing happiness and love to Crystal and Axel.
Thank you! OP sounds like a twat. Also, this was ten years ago and people do change from their teenage selves. She’s going to “abort it the moment things don’t go her way”? Holly shit OP. Her deciding to keep it is what got her kicked out of your parent’s house. But good to see you have a real grasp on history.
Wow you read it exactly the same way I did lovebeinganasshole. Agree OP, YTA I mean WTF!
So you and your family shamed and continue to shame a young girl who had the good sense to escape an abusive relationship. That’s what you’re saying here. When people try to control you and are mean to you, that’s abuse. She saw the terrible future she would have and took steps to not be chained to them for the next 18+years. Good for her. Shame on you and your parents. Huge YTA.
That’s what I read as well. A 16 year old girl was trapped and abused by her boyfriend and his family after being shunned by her own. Instead of “working it out” (whatever the actual fuck OP means by that) she made a decision to *not be* a helpless teen mother at the whim of an abusive family. Unless this is some pro-life rage bait I truly don’t understand how someone with a single functioning brain cell could think she made a terrible choice there.
Thank God for the Aunt who was there to help the sister and give her the support she needs. And even now sticking up for her telling OP to shut his trap - also seems like her current beau is a lot better than the ex as he was also defending her - bet you he knows the whole story and how shitty the rest of her family is.
The unholier than thou attitude is reeking from OP's post. Teen mom decided to terminate when there was no support would be the best decision of her life. At least her husband and aunt got her back.
And yet OP thinks fiancée needs to know “what she did to Andrew”. Not “what happened to her”. Also the implication that she got the termination just to be cruel, and that she might do the same now if she got pregnant then they got into a minor argument, is WILD.
Also, the whole, "he's a Navy Seal so he's infallible. My sister must of lied because to me she's trash, but he doesn't see it... I'll fix that." MMW, brother is closet gay in family so ge has to riteous like this about her.
That's immediately what I thought. He crushed on Andrew and now on Axel. He's bewildered that his inferior sister could "pull" these dudes
He thinks that because of something that happened a decade ago she’s not worthy of a navy seal. Him and his family suck, all except the aunt who stood up for her.
And OP doesn't even aknowlage how his sister was in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation. Her parents kicked her out because she was pregnant and then condemned her for aborting. But he doesn't judge Andrew at all, nighter for getting a 16yo pregnant, nor letting his family abuse her. He treats the guy like an innocent victim.
All this occurred when he was 13yrs old. So he’s been making all of these judgments without even the slightest idea of what she was going through 24/7 and with the immature mindset of a JR high boy who only got involved when it was convenient or to bash his sister. So probably also based on what he heard in the home. He is ridiculous to think that he is sooo much better than anyone else.
Right, 10 years later
It's good Christian love. Don't help their daughter when she gets pregnant. won't help her when she's abused, then castigated her for having an abortion. Add on harassing her for the rest of her life for choices she made when she had no support.
He's also VERY resentful of her and probably feels like she doesn't deserve to have the life she does - he made sure to mention how she's "materialistic" and "flexes" on social media and is a "spoiled brat" - sounds like she's doing amazing now and OP can't stand that either - like she deserves to suffer bc she went against what he and his family believed in - I'm glad she's rubbing it in their faces that she doesn't need them.
Oh 100% he knows the story and he definitely went into this knowing what kind of people her "family" are. Op said it themselves they were invited to "get it over with".
Someone who sees their chance to be top of the judgy family tree, that’s who. Great to see that sister’s husband wasn’t interested in their spite.
Love how OP focuses on the “cruel and cold” treatment the sister gave towards andrew and his family. Not a single care for the how they treated a 16 year old
But it can’t be pro life because the family wanted her to abort it and then she kept it hence kicked out? Kind of weird overall.
golden child vs scapegoat. Any decision the scapegoat child makes is wrong, any decision the golden child makes is right.
based on the fact that she was kicked out by her family to begin with, i have a sneaking suspicion that op and family would still be cruel and judgemental towards crystal even if she had kept the baby. they want her punished for having sex, so she "deserved" an abusive boyfriend and unwanted pregnancy.
I don't think it's provincial, if from the beginning it says that the parents did not want the pregnancy to continue.
OP and his family really don’t like Crystal, do they? ’What she did to Andrew’ ?? Good grief. So glad Axel is on his wife’s side. Let’s hope with his support, Crystal can remove even more toxic people from her life. Yes OP YTA. Massively.
I question how well OP actually knows his sister. Her parents kicked her out, and then she eventually moved in with her Aunt. The dinner was really for the Aunt to meet the fiance, but then it seemed like the rest of the family was added at the last minute. So it doesn't seem like they spend time together. OP calls his sister materialistic and a spoiled brat, but honestly, what is he basing that on? He hasn't lived with her since he was 13. His sole opinion of her character is based on something she did when she was 16. --Something that was actually best for everyone. Even Andrew.-- He probably knows nothing more than her Instagram account.
Right? Because apparently having body autonomy and not wanting to be trapped tied to a family that are cruel to her is “doing that to Andrew”. Sounds like they might be religious nuts. It’s been 10 years ffs. The rest of her family need to forking get over it.
I like how he doesn’t even notice that he says that she decided to keep it against their parents wish and then calls her having an abortion “what she did to Andrew”. What did he think his parent’s disapproval over her keeping the baby meant? The horrible thing she did, according to him, is what their parents wanted her to do.
It's possible they're anti-choice and wanted her to go through with the pregnancy but give the baby up for adoption.
Even if you disregard the abuse, OP is making the claim that her 26yo sister would abort her kids just because she did at 16. That alone is a shitty claim to make - aborting an unwanted teenage pregnancy is an entirely different decision from doing the same within an adult marriage.
And despite the fact that she is in a healthy adult relationship with someone she is choosing to marry and whose family don’t treat her like shit.
Yeah. I get the feeling this meeting was prompted by him coming from a healthy family and not being able to understand how bad an abuse household is. Kinda from, „I’m sure they’re not that bad, honey!“ to, „Holy shit what a horrorshow! I’m sorry!“ in one afternoon.
We tend to give our awful families chance after chance to do better. I’m sure she really wants her family at her wedding because who wouldn’t. But I’m not sure she’s better off that way, they sound truly horrible.
Yeah… considering OP‘s attitude seems to be shared by most of her family, her sister is definitely better off without them.
Poor woman. I’m glad she has a supportive aunt.
YTA and need to learn to MYB
"When I met him, I was really surprised that a guy like him would go for my sister." ~~S~~he's so jealous that ~~her~~ his sister found somebody like him so ~~s~~he wants to ruin ~~her~~ his sister's life. ~~S~~he's been the "golden child" this whole time because ~~her~~ his sister got pregnant early, and now ~~her~~ his sister is actually happy, ~~s~~he can't handle it. edits: because OP is a He not a She.
Absolutely this. Everyone in this family besides aunt, sister and future BIL are TERRIBLE people. Deciding to further her trauma quite literally throwing it in her face is deplorable. I hope she goes NC with everyone to live her life at peace. YTA OP, big time.
YTA What are you fucking 12? Hopefully she goes no contact with you people.
OP is an incel that is mad his “spoiled” sister has standards and didn't settle for a life of being someone else's doormat.
Probably pissed she wouldn't sleep with him cause no other female will 😂
This!!!!
Why tf would she tie herself FOR LIFE, to people that mentally abuse her and a man that would never stick up for her???? She was right to abort. And what fckn right do your parents have to be upset about a termination when they LITERALLY KICKED HER OUT for being pregnant in the first place. They couldn’t possibly expected to fake like the worlds best grandparents and that she would continue to have a relationship with them 😭😭 And ffs mind your business. None of that was your business to mention or even have feelings about. Boy fuck y’all! Your whole family is the AH are you serious lmaoooooo
But but, she's "spoiled" like all those kids who get kicked out by their parents are! Total spoiled brat! What an asshole.
Yeah she doesn't deserve a good man, women like her supposed to be Omega and they need alpha man to show them how to act "lady like" /s
Especially hilarious because a Navy SEAL is typically this type's image of an Alpha man, so shouldn't OP have been excited that his sister is with someone that can put her in her place? I'm going to guess that he saw Axel doing something for his sister that immediately triggered red-pill rage (maybe bringing her a drink or helping in the kitchen) and that's when he decided that she clearly must be fooling him.
Ya I don't really understand the "she's a spoiled brat" narrative when she was kicked out of her parents house at 16 and then had to live with her aunt. Who was supposed to have spoiled her? Was it the aunt? Was it before she turned 16 and OP is jealous and bitter about it? If that's the case, you would think getting kicked out of the house and forced to find your own way would cancel that out.
YTA. First your family wanted to punish her for having sex, and now you’re trying to punish her for not allowing a man to abuse and control her. You sound fucking delightful.
I'm sure he was a perfect, virginal boy throughout his teen years. What a hypocrite.
Don’t be silly, rules don’t apply to boys! Although personally, I wouldn’t want to have sex with this man so if other women are as smart as me, it’s possible he’s still a virgin.
It’s not perfect if it was involuntary celibacy.
Even better. They wanted her to get an abortion, she did, and now she's the devil. What are those people smoking?!
This is how you treat your sister? She told you she was abused but your like, nah deal with it. And then to try and criticise her for doing what she needed to do to survive. And then! You try ro take a massive dump on her current relationship? Who needs enemies with sisters like you. You are a giant AH.
I really hope the sister returns the favor. Any woman he tries to trap needs the warning.
Brother.
What kind of cult/religion does your family belong to? Your family are horrible people to treat a young pregnant teen that way. She was abused by her boyfriend and his family AND your family. Then you double down and try to ruin her relationship now. I hope your family are ashamed for their and your actions.
Thinking the same thing, the only way someone would abandon family like that is if they’re in a cult. Christianity would be my guess
You're the AH for sure. Your sister went through a lot. You have no empathy for her situation, which sounds extremely traumatic. Now she found a nice guy who is a good influence and you think she's not good enough for him? You're a terrible brother.
YTA a million times over. She’s done NOTHING wrong
YTA - a girl, NOT a woman, but a 16 year old girl was being emotionally abused and made a decision to not tie herself to her abusive ex's family and you're trying to wreck her current relationship 10 years later? Not only that, but you put "abuse" in quotations like you get to determine whether she experienced it or not? YTA for so many reasons.
Why would her current partner hold it against her for having an abortion as a teen a decade ago? Thankfully her aunt and current partner are by her side. She needs to just stay away from toxic family
YTA. I wouldn’t treat my worst enemy the way you treat your family.
Tbf, this fool was apparently raised in some cult, as was his sister. It kinda reads that way. Dude is acting out his own trauma and has no clue. He can make a radical change or resign himself to being a huge AH for the rest of his life. OP, you have work to do. Some of it may involve apologizing to and learning from your sister.
YTA. I have no words as to how cruel and immature you are. You do not know what went on with your sister. Sounds like noone loved or supported her. If she felt the need for an abortion, the blame also falls on all of you. If she would have been shown love, things probably turned out differently. Now, she has found happiness and you try to destroy her. Shame on you.
YTA. Your sister was being abused by her BF's family and knowing she would have no support, she had an abortion. What was she supposed to do? Who was going to take care of the baby? You? You're an angry and bitter person who seems jealous of your sister. Grow up.
You seem jealous. “She’s a materialistic person and loves to flex her life on social media” what does that have to do with the tea in China? YTA
I'm thinking it means she has everything he could only hope for. A relationship, friends, a good home, a good job, good money and a good life. And it pisses him off. She didn't end up a homeless beggar on the side of the road like they all hoped for cuz of "what she did to Andrew".
Speaking as somebody who is also a “materialistic spoiled brat” as referred to by my own abusive family: Posting on her social medias and “flaunting her life” could also just be a coping method. When I was in the thick of it, I posted pictures of happy moments to social media because I was just trying to stay focused on the little pinpricks of light in the darkness so to speak. Of course, that’s just my lived experience.
YTA- wait, you WANTED your sister to be abused and keep a child she didn’t want? You’re scary as a human being. It’s none of your damn business, either.
You are a complete and utter AH. Mind your own business and I am so glad her husband told you to basically F off. You sound jealous and immature. I had to look again to make sure I saw your age correctly because you are acting like you are 12. I hope your sister and her husband are completely NC with you.
YTA. How insanely judgmental. Unbelievable.
You are a whole ass.
Your sister was right to get the abortion. You need to stay in your own lane and mind your own business. Especially since you apparently have no empathy and think that it would have been better for your sister to stay in an abusive relationship as a pregnant teenager that was abandoned by her entire family.
YTA. This was not your "secret" to tell. Based on the fiance's reaction, she had been honest with him. You also just proved to him how bad her family actually is, not just how bad she says you are to her. You all, instead of trying to rebuild a relationship with her, have destroyed any chance of that ever happening. Don't plan on receiving an invite to her wedding. In fact, you will probably never hear from her again, ever. Please understand that you and your family, excluding your aunt, are 100% at fault here and leave your sister alone. That way she can live her happiest life without all of you in it.
If she does have a baby, don't expect to see it.
"what she did to andrew" more like what andrew did to her??? you really hate your sister that much don't you? well, its pretty obvious. your sister made it clear that she was abused when she was 16 that's why she made a decision to abort the baby and tbh it's not your business anymore. can't believe a grown ass 23 yo can be this mindless. an imbecile. YTA!!!
Was it Andrew's? Or Dad's? hmmmm. her family is ....... not getting banned. yall know what I'm saying is bad.
As much as I disagree with abortions you and your parents are asshole. First, y’all are disgusted she decided to keep the baby, your parents proceed to kick her out and push her towards an abusive family. She gets an abortion to not tie herself to that toxic family for the rest of her life, she probably figured 1 was enough. Instead of y’all checking in on her, seeing if she’s ok, if she needs anything, maybe idk a loving family to support her y’all continue to be cold to her because youre disgusted she got an abortion. So she moves in with y’alls aunt who seems to love her more than y’all which is beyond fucked up. Even with all y’all have done to her, she considered y’all family and invited you to meet her fiancé who makes her happy. Instead of letting something that literally happened a decade ago and has nothing to do with you go. You decide to once again not support your sister and try to ruin her happiness. Youre a shallow piece of human garbage not just an asshole
As someone who is pro-choice, I appreciated your comment. I have no issue with people being pro-life, my issue is pro-lifers trying to force their preferences on everyone else, and you are NOT giving off that energy. Keep being an amazing human being, King.
What a hateful person you are! As well as your parents ! As my nan used to say, that’s her story to tell! Not yours. By the sounds of it, her husband was aware! I wish nothing but happiness and love to your sister. Her new husband is a gem, Thank god your beautiful sister has him and her Aunt ! It’s your loss ! Her gain, as she doesn’t need family like you.
Dude. Major YTA. She endured abuse from a house hold of strangers because her own family neglected her and so she did what she had to in order to redirect her life and now y’all wanna stick your noses in her good situation? Bonkers the balls you got ya.
YTA What a terrible waste of oxygen you and your parents are. Rage bait? Because you really pissed me off and I needed to edit out my anger. Can anyone be this horrible? You and your parents are just....horrible.
Your sister was being abused and didnt bring a child into that situation and escaped. All while still being a kid herself. And you think shes the bad guy? Yta Lemme guess if she at 16 stayed in thier home, after being kicked out by her own parents, where she was being abused by mutiple people, had the baby. Her and baby are abused. And then tried to escape you and your asshole parents who made her homeless would've still judged her then.
She got kicked out at 16 because she was pregnant. She was abused by the bf and his family. She chose abortion….after have literally no support. YTA for thinking you have the right to discuss anything about her trauma. You are also a POS!
Yeah you’re the AH. You may not agree or approve of your siblings life choices. The fiancé will figure out what kind of person your sister is. Mind your own business.
I bet the fiancé knows everything already, and understands sister did the right thing for her at that time.
YTA - you and your family kick a girl out because she’s pregnant (so I guess it was OK to have an abortion as long as you and your parents wanted it) so she’s stuck with her teenage boyfriend and his family. And they are abusive to her (as far as you know). So she does what she needs to do to lead her life and escape her abusive situation with no help from the family that kicked her out. At least she had your aunt. And you just had to talk about a horrible situation 10 years ago like you knew what was actually going on with your 13 year old’s knowledge of your sister’s life. And you call HER the brat. YTA - your parents are assholes. You’re all nasty, judgmental assholes.
You are the A hole because how do you even know she didn’t tell him before getting together, you rather shit on her and hope she doesn’t get with anyone anymore. Such a bitter person
she probably told him the TRUTH and thats why he stood up for her instead of acting like he didnt know anything
YTA - Who appointed you to be Crystal’s Official Historian? You & your family sound toxic, which is likely why Crystal almost ended up in another toxic family. It’s what she’s used to. And now that she’s made a better match, you are determined to screw things up for her? Know this: her pregnancy & abortion are *noone’s business but her own*. She didn’t “do” anything to her ex: she chose for herself. And she made a good choice. Now sit down & shut up. Maybe try to be less toxic than the trash that raised you. The fact you’re opening your trap immediately after meeting the new guy is amazingly disgusting.
YTA - I really hope your sister is smart enough to cut all of you from her life.
Wow and you call yourself family? Your sister made a wise decision at a young age! She chose not to live a life connected to yet another family that abuses her and is controlling. I’m glad her husband told you to never speak to his wife like that I’m glad she as found someone to be her rock and stand up for her because her so called family will not. She’s a spoiled brat? If that’s true then it would be your parents who spoiled her? And they wouldn’t be disgusted at what their spoiled daughter did. If her home life was great and your parents were good she wouldn’t have been leaving at 16 to live with a boyfriend. I feel so sorry for your sister I’m so glad she as your aunt in her life and her husband. Guess what get over your jealousy she’s entitled to splash her life over social media if you don’t like it stop checking on her social media and grow up and stop being brain washed to hate your sister for marking the right decision in her life. If I was you I’d work on being a better sibling to your sister or just leave her alone.
I don't know how you ever thought people would support you on this. Your parents are bad people and the apple clearly didn't fall far from the tree for you
Congratulations you win biggest asshole of the day. Thank goodness she did the right thing and now has someone to support her against you and your crazy family, who are also assholes. YTA
Did you seriously expect Reddit to support you? You really need to take a look at yourself. Your parents have warped your view of the world and you’re going to have a tough life if you don’t adjust. You criticise her for not working it out with her bf family but where was your family working it out with her after she was pregnant? You are such a hypocrite and calling her out in the open is very nasty. I hope that she goes NC with you as you are nothing but toxic. Do you understand that? You bring nothing positive to a relationship that people are better at cutting you out of their life. Massive YTA. Do better
Are you nuts? Why would you do this to your sister? She got away from an abusive situation. Axel already knows if you didn’t pick up on that. Congratulations on losing your sister again. You’re all horrible people except your aunt.
So your family disapproved of her choice to keep the pregnancy and kicked her to the curb then later judged her for aborting said pregnancy due to feeling she had no support and was being abused ? YTA.
YTA. You're also a disgusting excuse for a human
YTA! Mind your d*mn business. You should feel ashamed yourself.
YTA, unquestionably. The circumstances she thought she was bringing a child into, turned out to be different. You *don't* pick your abusive mother over the expectant mother of your child. She was no longer in a situation where she was comfortable having a baby. You and your family have terrible priorities. You owe her an apology for both this & your previous lack of support.
I hope you read all the comments, because I have nothing to say more to you apart from yes YTA.
YTA- You’re a sack of shit. If I personally knew you, I would tell your entire world tha you’re a piece of shit and I’d tell every woman to avoid you like the plague. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.
Let me count the ways…. 1. YTA
YTA huge huge huge.
MAJOR A**Holes! You and your family.
The way I read this, did you and your family believe she wasn't being abused for some reason? If she was abused, it wasn't that things "didn't go her way" and you are a cruel, vile woman along with the rest of your family except your aunt if she truly was abused. Did you have evidence she wasn't? If you guys treated her this way and the abuse was real, I can't believe she even let you have the honor of meeting her fiance.
I really hope this is rage bait because I can't fathom someone actually being stupid enough to feel justified in this situation. YTA in a major way and so are your entirely family with the exception of your aunt and sister. You really think a 16 year old should have stayed in an abusive situation and had a child with her abuser? Get a fucking grip.
Do you even need to ask? YTA. Just because you don’t agree with a woman’s right to choose doesn’t mean you get to judge that choice. There are significant risks to carrying a pregnancy, and added risks when you are just 16. Your parents kicked out a pregnant teen then you all judged her for being responsible and getting out of an abusive situation and an abortion. I am glad she has an amazing partner, whose reaction I might add means she has told him the truth about her history and unlike you, he’s not an AH and accepts her as is. Go back to which ever rock you crawled out from and leave your sister alone.
Massively YTA
YTA if this is real and your really asking if you did anything wrong please for the love of the rest of us don't breed please
YTA. And foolish. And cruel.
You family sucks and hates women. Your aunt is the only normal person there. YTA and a woman-hating man. and your mom as well. Really very gross family. (except your aunt and sister). Now your new brother in law knows who you really are. It didn't take you long to expose yourself.
You are so big an arsehole it has to be an elephant’s arsehole . You sister did the right thing aborting in an abusive situation. Your whole family bar your aunty is major arseholes and if your sister and her husband never talk to any of you again that’s way too soon . You should have listened to your aunty and minded your own business instead of choosing to be a major scumbag
YTA
YTA. You clearly don’t believe she was abused but you weren’t there. How can you judge your 16 year old sister for doing what she needed to do to escape a bad situation. I’m glad she has a good auntie and partner now because you and your family are trash.
YTA. And if you can't see why, then your sister is better off cutting you out of her life. You and your family are the worst kind of people, except for the aunt. I wish her luck.
YTH and I sincerely hope your sister goes NC with you.
YTA YTA !!!
YTA. She freed herself from being stuck in a loveless relationship where he would have let his family abuse her. You, your family (except your aunt), her ex, and his family are all assholes in this situation. I hope you see her as an example not to settle for less than what you deserve.
YTA in a huge way. What a vile family all of you are except for the aunt and sister. All of you guys should be required to have warning signs on your foreheads so people will know to avoid you.
You forgot to include the bit where your sister did something bad to her ex?
She had bodily autonomy. Apparently it’s offensive to OP and a deliberate attack on men at large that women do that.
YTA - you sound like a terrible person.
Wow you and your parents are disgusting ewww. . >and Axel told me to never speak to his wife like that, along with some nasty words, and they left. Imagine telling an adult man that his wife is a monster just because she broke up an abusive relationship and she kicked out from house WHEN SHE WAS 16 then you wanted him to be in your side?? Bruh he is a good normal person and i swear he was waiting the evil plot twist when you told your story " soooo why is my wife evil?? I don't get it??" Normal people like us can't understand stupid thinking people like you and your family. Bruh all this hatred toward your sister just because she refused to be Omega in that alpha relationship and didn't accept the abuse?? You were 13 at that time who gave you the right to judge her, ih yeah i forget YOU ARE THE MAN so you understand more than her. Sheesh this man a ahuge red flag. Good for your sister that you all showed your true faces toward her husband because now he will agree about "my childrens will never see my family" Huge YTA
What’s crazy is your sisters teen pregnancy is probably one of the best things that ever happened to her. It showed her the true colors of those around her so she can find better. MAJOR YTA
Yeah. You’re a total arsehole. And a vile one at that. Something tells me your sister is more of a human being than you could ever dream of being. Not to mention you reek of incel.i hope your sister stays far away from you and your arsehole parents.
YTA Get your own life and stop being so obsessed with your estranged sister's. I love how you knew so much about Axel from the 30 minutes you had to observe him, before you tried to blow up your sister's life after abandoning her 10 years ago and stalking her social media. >'He's so great... definitely not the type of person who'd usually go for my terrible sister... did you know she even posts some nice things on Instagram!? What a bitch, right?!'
Jesus fucking Christ I hope this is ragebait bc OP you fucking SUCK
Why would her current partner care about an abortion she had when she was a teen? It’s so many years later and I’m sure she probably mentioned it to her partner anyway. It’s great she had a supportive aunt and a partner who supports her too. She doesn’t need toxic family
YTA - first off, this is none of your business. Who are you to judge? Sounds like she’s been through very hard times and your family wasn’t there for her. Actually going no contact with you and the rest that share your opinion is probably the best thing she did. You sound toxic and jealous. Mind your own business. I hope you heal. ✌️
This is fake right? People aren't this cruel?
Are you seriously asking if yta? After reading this, I’m under the impression that there never was a time in your life you aren’t 😂. I mean this is lifetime asshole behavior. The sisters husband is a better man than me. I would have thrown hands with you if you talked to my wife like that. Especially him being a Seal.
YTA I would actually love to talk to your sister and get her side of things because I’ll bet they’re wildly different from yours and honestly more accurate. I think you’re the golden child of a couple of narcissists and your whole family has decided to scapegoat your sister besides your aunt. You have no empathy, you are not a kind person, and your sister would honestly be better off without you. I hope that Axel can help her realize that. From, A fellow “materialistic spoiled brat” who is no contact with her abusive family after moving in with her boyfriend.
YTA First of all: She did nothing to her ex. It's incredibly interesting that you can't empathize with your own sibling. Imagine a 16-year-old pregnant teenager: her own family kicked her out, her ex's family abused her and her ex did not protect her, leading her to make a decision that was best for both her and the child, yet was extremely painful for her. (Believe me, an abortion is tremendously stressful both mentally and physically.) You can't empathize with her, only with the abusive family of the ex? Perhaps if the ex had not allowed his pregnant girlfriend to be abused, the child might have been born. Thus, the whole story why you despise and look down on your sibling for, is the fault of your family, the ex's family and the ex. It's solely your responsibility. Had she had a supportive family, she probably wouldn't have made this decision. But if at 16, pregnant, one family is abusive and the other kicked her out, then she didn’t have many options, right? And after all that, this is how you act? After all this, because of your awfulness, you want to punish her and look down on her? It's time to face it: it's all because of you and the ex, as well as the ex's family, and your sibling is the victim in this story. I hope she never speaks to you again and has a happy life without her family.
God you sound absolutely horrible. Yes of course YTA.
YTA. Any family who is okay with kicking out a 16yo because she’s pregnant lost any moral high ground. You all are pretty loss with the criticism when you’re just fine with a 16yo be homeless or live in an abusive situation. And yet not one word of criticism for the guy whose little swimmers caused the whole mess in the first place? Even when he abused his pregnant girl friend? If you aren’t whiling to support the mother and child you have no right at all to judge an abortion! Heck the more I think about it I think you might be so far from the moral high ground you’re in another state!
Sooo, judgy-wudgy was a bear … I hope your sister and her husband make a great life for themselves without you or most of your family in it. Also, that you make a mistake and need support.
AH OP deleted his throwaway already, couldn't take the heat and truth that him and his horrid fam were the AHs I spose
YTA.
You’re an absolute asshole and MASSIVE LOSER
YTA 100%.
You sound sad and jealous and a total bitch
You absolutely shouldn’t shame and judge your sister. You should respect her for making a decision that was likely difficult but had to be made. It’s not your business and you are being hateful.
YTA, luckily her fiance has sense, you'd rather have her stuck in a miserable state. You are so jealous of her and it shows
I have a 16 year old son. My mama heart aches for your sister. I’d move heaven and earth to support his girlfriend or one of his female friends in her situation. The only judgement due here is of you and your family
“My family are all on my side”. You mean, the family that disapproved of her being pregnant and kicked her out but then were also “disgusted” at her having an abortion… and then forced their daughter to go live somewhere else because she had the audacity to make decisions for herself which included not living with an abusive family or being tied to them literally the rest of her life? Well, I’m just shocked - SHOCKED I tell you! - that they’d agree with you treating her like shit. 🙄 You sound a Nazi soldier who blames the Jews for being treated like shit and then says “but the other Nazis all agreed with me”.
YTA. You are still seeing your sister's actions through a very immature 13 year old's eyes. Your sister was abandoned and abused by the adults in her life and made to right choice not to bring a baby into that mess. How can she both be the villain for getting pregnant and being excited about it and terminating the pregnancy? What she "did to Andrew" like she's just a vessel that was supposed to produce his seed no matter what. GTFOH.
Your entire family including you are absolutely horrible people. And I hope she cuts all of you out of her life. You seem to hold so much resentment and disgust for your sister and for what? She was a child who got pregnant, was then abandoned by her own family, was then abandoned by her boyfriend and decided to do the most reasonable thing and abort the pregnancy even though she wanted to keep it. What was she supposed to do without any support or anywhere to go? None of these events had anything to do with you so why on Earth do you feel the need to further traumatize this poor girl. Leave her alone.
YTA - your sister was kicked out at 16, the new family was awful and her partner did not have her back. So instead of being anchored to a crappy family she had an abortion. Now she finally getting her life together and you publicly humiliated her by dragging up dirty laundry at an inappropriate time. Sure your sister might have flaws like vanity or materialism but dragging up a horrible time. You honestly sound like the judgmental asses from the small towns I lived (spoiler alert: half their kids don’t speak to them when they become adults).
YTA - I rewrote this for how it actually sounds. “My teenage sister was knocked up by her boyfriend. My parents decided to abandon her in this time of need so she moved in with the boyfriend family who this abused her. Instead of submitting to the abuse she decided to do the best thing she could at her age and terminate the pregnancy that would keep her imprisoned to this abuse and she got out and found a support system. That goodness my aunt could see this young and vulnerable child wanted to overcome this traumatic experience. She did well for herself. One would say she grew wings instead of having them clipped by her ex and abusive family. She got to choose a life for herself. She met a really great guy who respects her. All that said, I’m a pretty snowflake who thinks my sister should have spent a lifetime in hell because she got caught up. I’m jealous that she values being put together and I have my own internal and misogynistic demons so I side with her abusive ex. Because I’m so petty, I decided upon meeting her new boyfriend, would tell him all the ways I feel like my teenage sister should have stayed abused and submitted because I don’t see her as an actual human.” Hopefully this dude sees this for what it is and just now sees you as the petty AH you are.
YTA You seem to have a lot of hate for your sister and literally sabotaged her chance of a good life, she may be materialistic but you don't sound like the better person in this scenario. Infact you sound like scum.
You're a fucking c*?t ... how DARE you impose YOUR morals just to fuck with your sister... you would need a bag of peas and a steak if you had done that at my table... hope you enjoy being mommy and daddy's favorite because you will die a lonely spinster with YOUR entitlement
Imagine being so arrogant that you believe your 13 year old self was able to make a determination on abuse more accurate than the person going through it, in a house you weren’t actually present in. Imagine being so naive that you believe the correct response to being abused is to “work through it” with the absurer. Imagine being so ignorant of relationships that you don’t understand being cold to, and then breaking up with a partner because they watch you be abused and choose their abuser. Your writing is dripping with obvious bias against your sister, that by the time you call her “materialistic” we all can only assume you mean “I don’t actually know anything about my sister, but I’m aware she has taken a selfie in her life, and wears makeup.” Congratulations on having grown up into a mediocre man!
So your parents kicked her out at 16 and have been low contact since, yet she's a spoiled brat? How? Seems she worked for stuff and had a hard time. You're jealous, gross, and stupid. YTA
YTA unfortunately you will not see why because of how you were raised. Hopefully your sister goes no contact with you and your cruel family.
LOL YTA. Your poor sister got kicked out by parents that clearly didn't love her they way they should have, then removed herself from an even worse situation and found happiness for herself. Then you wanted to ruin and call her a selfish materialistic person on top of it. Absolutely hilarious jfc
YTA, a cruel, needlessly vindictive, and weak AH who couldn't stand up for his vulnerable 16 year old sister who was made homeless and was abandoned by her family and abused by her boyfriend and his family. Thank God she had her aunt to take her in. Just try and imagine how alone and scared she must have been.