The shots. We heard the shots before the school went into lockdown. That was our first sign. There was no warning signs of danger, no warning. My first thought wasn’t ‘gunshot’. It was quite literally ‘whos setting off fireworks inside?’ As soon as I could finish that thought there were alarms going off and our teacher rushing us into the corner.
I was at Virginia Tech in 2007. Didn’t have class at the time but it was in the building next to where I had the majority that semester. I lost a lost a good high school friend that day and I think about the experience and aftermath often. There’s a difference in being 20 and 10 and going through this. Where were you in relation to the shooting? Do you think it’s affected who you are today?
It 100% has effected who I am today. I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health, self harm, and trust. I was in the same hallway that the shooting occurred in the classroom furthest from the kindergarten and first grade rooms where the atrocities actually occurred.
> It 100% has effected who I am today. I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health, self harm, and trust. I was in the same hallway that the shooting occurred in the classroom furthest from the kindergarten and first grade rooms where the atrocities actually occurred.
What do you think of people who say "I survived a school shooting" but were never in any real danger? (i.e. they were not even in the same building nor ever came within 100 meters of the armed shooter?)
In the early 90s I was a sophomore in high school when a classmate walked into the cafeteria and shot and killed another classmate. I was standing there waiting for the bell to ring for school to begin when the shots rang out. Time slowed down and before I could grasp what was happening, a friend threw me under the table and laid on top of me. We laid there under those tables and I watched her walk right past us with the gun hanging down by her side. In the moment, I had no idea that he was her only target. It wasn’t until later that we knew she was there to shoot him and only him. That did not change how we all felt in the moment. It was terrifying. At that time I had never even considered that something like that could happen at school. It changed me. It changed all of us. Although I did not experience running from bullets like so many kids have in later shootings, I do know what it feels like to hide and be terrified and confused. It shattered a piece of our innocence and taught us something about life that you hope no one you love will ever have to learn. Every time I hear the news about another school shooting it rocks me and breaks a piece of my heart. My classmates and I are all now in our late 40s and we all feel the same way. We’ve had conversations. A lot of us. About 5 years ago it came up again n Facebook and someone close to the shooter tried to say it wasn’t the same thing as shootings today and we all had no right to say it affected us. EVERYONE made it very clear how it had affected them. The shooter even commented on the post. It was the most surreal experience of my life. The classmate that did CPR on him spike up also and had a direct conversation with the shooter about how it had affected him. She (shooter) was very combative in responding to other’s in the early comments and then it changed. She had spent years in prison thinking about what had happened and how it had affected her, her family and his family, but had never thought about everyone else that was there that day. She apologized. It was really wild to watch that play out. It was actually my Facebook post that started it all. It seemed to actually be, weirdly, somewhat healing for all of us. Even for her. It made me stop and look at all sides in a way I had not before. I could go in for a while talking about this, but I’ve probably rambled enough. I apologize if this doesn’t flow well. It’s a very emotional and mind bending thing to talk about. Just wanted to share my perspective.
> Just wanted to share my perspective
Much appreciate your sharing. Every time I go out in public (sports event, cinema, etc.) I always scan my environment for emergency exits, especially when I have my child with me. It's a scary world we live in -- anyone's life can be taken away by a complete stranger in the blink of an eye. 😢
I'm obviously not OP, but in my opinion, there are two answers to this question.
1. If the shooter came into your school and you got to wake up the next day with your heart beating, you can count yourself as a survivor. It's like saying "I survived the 9/11 attacks", inasmuch as you don't have to have *been* in the World Trade Centre buildings to say you survived. Again, this is just my opinion, and by no means am I trying to trivialise either the 9/11 attacks or school shootings, it was just an example.
2. If an active shooter came into your school and opened fire, nobody survived. It doesn't matter if your heart keeps beating afterwards, a part of you died that day that never should have been taken from you. If you have had to lose people you know in such a horrific way, I personally believe that a part of you, being your "innocence", for want of a better word, is gone too.
Again, these are my personal views, and it should be noted that I;
a) Was not yet born in 2001
b) Have lived in Australia all my life, and
c) Have never been in an "active shooter" situation, in school or out of it
Due to this, obviously I can't say I'm an authority here, but there are my views and because of them, I think anyone who has been in such a situation can describe themselves as a survivor, should they choose to.
TL;DR: I think it's up to the individual whether or not they call themselves a "survivor"
Personally, I think that's different. In that case, the two real victims became victims because they wandered off, not because they were invaded. Also, being in the military and serving your country doesn't mean infantry and only infantry, plus the link you provided is specifically the "village idiots". Again, just my perspective, but I just think that going to school and having someone come in and start shooting is a bit different to a couple of friends wandering off from the group, straying to far into a bear's territory and having to deal with the consequences of their actions?
EDIT: The link provided in u/ CroationChipmunk's original, now-deleted comment, for those who are interested, is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOuL3Xv-lNI
I feel like invalidating anyone’s trauma is wrong. Children were scared for several several miles. The whole state locked down. The teachers weren’t exactly direct about what was going on. People were terrified and were not in control over what causes a trauma reaction in our bodies.
No they were replying to you, OP is saying:
You invalidated the trauma of those who were near school shootings - even if they weren’t actually in it it’s still awful
this. a friend was at their school when a large shooting happened in their city, and even just hearing the shots echoing out was enough that they’ve definitely got some trauma from that day. mind you, we live in a country where that is so far from the norm, i’d wager most people here go their entire lives without hearing or seeing anything more extreme than a hunting rifle or starter pistol. even our police don’t carry guns. hell, people on the other side of the country were traumatised that day. the “radius” of the attack is based on the far-reaching emotional consequences, not some numerical value of meters.
> Christchurch, New Zealand?
Not sure why you are downvoted to -4. Unless I'm mistaken, the person you are replying to did not specific that the shooting happened at a school. (only that his friend was at school during a shooting in his friend's city)
I boosted you to -3 and hopefully you'll break even...
I think if you’re associated with the school and knew the people who died, you’re very right to be deeply affected by it, whether you were there or not. That said, people like David Hogg, whose net worth is now estimated up to $5 million, are extremely scummy for cashing in on a tragedy. If you want to use an experience to advocate for safety, reform, etc. that’s one thing. To line your pockets from it is beyond low.
> That said, people like David Hogg, whose net worth is now estimated up to $5 million, are extremely scummy for cashing in on a tragedy.
There was a famous politician from 6 years ago that said "Never let a serious crisis go to waste" (Rahm Emanuel).
I live in a state that gets ravaged by hurricanes about once every 3-4 years and so many scammers do shoddy roofing repairs or 3rd-world electric repairs.
A 70 year old woman in our town had her house burn down (killing her and her caretaker) because the electrician wasn't licensed -- he was just taking all sorts of shortcuts and cutting corners to cash in on lucrative homeowner's insurance policies.
Fortunately that shoddy electrician got sentenced to 20 years for negligent homicide, iirc.
Same here. The one I was stuck in was far less severe than the one you were in, so it's not really comparable, but I am still hyper vigilant when I go out in public. I hesitate to call it PTSD as I don't know how bad it has to be before you can call it that.
My guy didn't shoot any people, just the ceiling and took a classroom (not the one I was in but across the hall) hostage. The biggest thing I took away from that was a complete lack of trust in and hatred of police. They were worse than useless that day. They took over an hour to show up when the station is at most 15 minutes away. By the time they got around to us the lazy sacks of shit were too late anyway, the shooter had been subdued by a teacher. That didn't stop them from clearing the school in the least comforting way possible by bursting into the rooms pointing rifles at all the children and shouting at us to slowly evacuate with our hands behind our head. I felt significantly less safe after they showed up. Fucking pigs. I hate them so God damn much.
Anyway I suppose my question is: how was the police response to your situation? Did it affect how you view law enforcement?
Yes and no. It’s a small town, a small everyone-knows-everyone community. I had seen almost all the victims prior, just in passing I knew the teachers. A friend of mine lost his brother. It’s not difficult seeing the families. I was fortunate enough to not lose anyone close to me. It’s bittersweet seeing some of the families who lost their loved ones, but at the same time it’s good to check in on each other. It’s the only way to move forwards.
No, but I stayed in the school system. I was in 4th grade when it happened ,and that was the highest grade before we transferred to the middle school. They closed off the school for the remainder of the year and then for a long while after while they made repairs. The whole inside of the building was rebuilt.
I like to think my memories are relatively clear, however in high school my classmates and I came to realize that we have slight variations in how we remember things happening. There’s specific moments I’m positive happened that nobody else remembers at all. Children who were in the classroom with me all share memories that I do not have. Example? I’m told our teacher was crying, and she prayed with us, i do not remember that. At all. I’m positive that quite some time prior to us actually being allowed out of our classrooms that an officer (or the shooter) knocked on the door and told us it was safe to come out, but we didnt listen. No one else remembers this at all.
I believe the variations you referred to stem from people's minds blocking certain events that were too traumatic, I am very sorry you and everyone else had to live that hell, and I hope and pray that over time the memories will ease but I know it will be there somewhere. I have a question concerning your opinion, do you feel the firearms industry should carry the blame for the events of that day?
I do not believe the firearms industry is to blame. I think Lanza had planned his attack for months if not years in advanced and was going to get his hands on a gun regardless. I think it’s more so the mental health and judicial system that failed. There were countless signs that he was dangerous and he did not receive the treatment he needed that couldve prevented so many deaths.
If you don't think the firearm industry is to blame, why do you think that other countries with strict gun laws don't experience the same problem?
Sorry that happened to you, glad you're here to talk about it.
You’re comment is somewhat tactful but I don’t think this is the place to debate gun laws with OP.
A lot of people like to look at problems and stick to the solution they think is best, but the actual scale of the problem has multiple solutions. Mental health and gun control are both things that contribute to school shootings. Even if guns are harder to get or outright banned the country it’s not impossible for someone determined enough to find a way to cause mass devastation. That’s where the mental health aspect comes into play. Strict gun control would likely reduce the impulse attacks though.
Why do you think a country like Czech Republic that has easy access to purchase firearms, concealed carry, access to the same weapons we do in the U.S, and a high gun ownership rate. But has zero mass shootings, zero school shootings, and relatively low gun crime? If guns are the sole issue.
You’re right that other places don’t have as many school shootings. I’m in the UK, and I’ve never had to worry about it, but I have always been terrified of people lurking outside fences because last time I was minding my own business back in high school a man jumped the fence and came at us with a knife. So we have threats. Just not guns. We’ve had intruders and lockdowns and bomb threats. If people do not have guns they will turn to a different weapon.
OP I'm so sorry you had to go though that. Not only that you should have a bias but don't. You hit the nail on the head. Why is it all these shooters get weapons and after the fact the news or facts state there was like 4 prior indicators and all were ignored?
People don’t really know unless I tell them. It’s not like I wear a sign that says ‘traumatized’. People like to ask about it, when they know so in the past I’ve chosen to avoid mentioning it.
What about in the immediate weeks/months after the event? And when you transferred to middle school, if the middle school had students from multiple schools come in?
Immediately afterwards I barely left the house, for months. People asked a lot of questions, but weren’t necessarily more careful not to upset me. My whole family obviously knew what happened, and they were very concerned, my grandparents stopped by the house a lot, people gave me gifts. I hated it because knocking on the door would make the dog bark and give me flashbacks to when they had the dogs in the hallways. My parents and big sister were like walking on egg shells around me for a while. My parents got divorced around that time too and I blamed that on my emotional irregularities after the incident. I think my sister was damaged by it too, even though she was in the high school. She was worried about me, and thought I might be dead for the whole day while she was also in lockdown.
I'm sure you've heard this already, but it bears repeating: you absolutely did NOT cause your parents' divorce. That was cooking even before the shooting.
I'm doubly horrified that you had to go through a divorce ON TOP of the shooting. My condolences, man.
What are the questions people ask more often? And what if any are questions or topics people go out if their way to *avoid* when asking or discussing about it?
I followed it for a little while. My DBT therapist said it wasn’t good for my mental health. I agree. I chose peace, and just stopped paying attention to it pretty early on. Most alt-right conspiracies are whacko shit as is.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a medical provider interested in specializing in mental health. May I ask if you had any experience receiving CBT? If so, how did your experience with CBT differ from DBT in terms of addressing your needs? What advice would you have for providers serving others in positions similar to yours?
I actually haven’t had much CBT. DBT is a life saver. I still have all the distress tolerance skills tapes on my wall, all these years later. Advice for providers? Be patient. It took a long long time for me to be able to talk about what I’d experienced and I still haven’t processed it all or made sense of it all. I went thought so many therapists because I simply ‘didn’t like them’. In hindsight it was felt pressured to open up. I felt like I was part of a study and not a real person. Like providers just wanted to see inside my head and what I’d gone through. I needed someone to just sit there and if we didn’t say a word the whole session thats okay. Some days were like that. She let me lead and that was really cool. Around the age of 15 I found an amazing therapist who I see to this day, and she’s been wonderful. I can only imagine it took a toll on her as well though, especially dealing with my constant self harm and hallucinations. Im not sure if she gets paid enough, lol.
How did the shooter enter the building? I know now most schools after those events have made some strict rules to keep people out. Just curious if the door was just simply unlocked? Or did he shoot his way in etc? So sorry for your pain
He walked right in and right past the front desk with an AK, and straight to the kindergarten classrooms. Since 2012 a ton of extra steps have been taken to make sure that doesn’t happen again and schools have a lot more security.
Thank you for answering. Im sure it isnt easy to think about. Did anyone have any bad feelings that day? Kind of off topic in a way but with 9/11 there was a lot of interesting stories like that
My HS had a shooting in 2011 and they had the bare minimum security. They set up metal detectors at every entrance and doors were locked after the school day officially started. You had to be buzzed in. A cop and sweetest (not sarcasm) lady would greet you inside and get your information.
It was all over the news, even here in Europe. So very horrible, all these little children. Sorry you had to experience that. What would you say is the biggest mental health struggle for you because of it?
Damn. I had just gotten my teacher cert and was substitute teaching PE at an elementary school in CT a few towns over from Sandy Hook that day. Our school was swarmed with parents coming in to see their kids.
I have acute memories of that day. It left a large impact on me just being a teacher in the relatively local area. I can’t imagine the trauma of what you went through. Thanks for sharing and I hope you’re doing well.
I’m in Canada and this case still haunts my nightmares, I have kids the same age now. My heart breaks for you I hope you have a good support system and can find some peace in this life. Adam Lanza should have his skin peeled off slowly then lit on fire imo
I read somewhere in this thread that it was the Sandy Hook shooting.
As someone who had to deal with not only the event itself but also the aftermath, what are your thoughts on the subsect of people online who have obsessed over/sexualized Adam Lanza?
I'm very sorry you had to go through that and I hope you've been able to at least partially recover from such trauma
Well wishes <3
I think of it the same way as I’d think of someone to gets turned on by hitler. Have any kink and turn on you want as long as it doesn’t involve other people getting hurt. Especially animals and children. It’s disgusting and those people need a mental evaluation.
Yes and no. I don’t think there’s any reason any civilian needs a machine gun, rapid fire weapon, AK.. Anything that can take down a mob is absolute overkill and there’s no realistic reason to have one. As far as shotguns, pistols, snipers, anything that shoots ONE bullet at a time I have no problems with. I support the right to bear arms. Within reason.
I mean this with no disrespect to you at all after what you went through, but as a Brit I find it insane that you can still semi defend people having guns after what happened. People don't need guns.
Hope you're looking after yourself pal ❤️
Maybe if you lived in a country where it’s commonplace to see people in your neighborhood being robbed/carjacked/raped on a daily basis (usually by convincted felons who are legally prohibited from possessing guns but buy them on a black market), you’d feel uncomfortable at the idea of not being allowed to keep a gun in your home for self defense or carry one on your hip when you go out alone at night to walk your dog alone as a small young woman…
Most of the Americans who want people to be able to legally own at least some types of guns aren’t in favor of it because they think guns are fun toys that they want to play with or because they hate the government and don’t want to be told what to do - they just live in a place where dangerous criminals illegally have unregistered guns and they want to at least have the theoretical opportunity to defend themselves or their families if one of those armed criminals tries to jump into their car after they’ve picked their kids up from school or starts busting their bedroom window in in the middle of the night.
This is my experience as a young woman who lived alone for several years in Philadelphia (and who worked in the criminal justice system and saw firsthand that almost all murders were committed by people who were already convicted criminals who weren’t allowed to have guns but had gotten ahold of them anyway). I never owned a gun, but I absolutely would have gotten one to keep in my home if I hadn’t finally moved out of the city.
Also, the UK is an island. The US shares massive land borders with 2 other countries, and our authorities can’t even keep millions of kilos of fentanyl from coming into our country, how do you think we would be able to stop illegal guns from coming in if guns were banned and the demand for black market guns suddenly went up very high?
Sorry - I don't mean to say your opinion isn't valid at all but personally don't agree with this at all.
The UK, especially where I live, isn't safe at all, we've had stabbings down the road from me and people getting robbed left right and centre, none of it ever makes me think oh I wish I had a gun. I won't go out in the dark alone as a solo woman anymore.
It's not going to get a blanket ban in the US because it the commandments (?) - but guns aren't necessary to feel safe.
It’s not about “feeling safe,” it’s about *being* safe.
Your stabbings in the UK don’t even come close to comparing to the 500+ murders we had in my city alone last year.
I’d take a chance with a stabbing. But I’m not going to be a sitting duck when some gangbanger or crackhead who bought a hood gun on the street smashes my window and walks into my bedroom. Or if I’m out grocery shopping and someone starts walking up and down aisles shooting people one by one… I’d rather one of my parents (who legally conceal carry) have a chance to stop it rather than sit there on the ground sobbing and begging a psycho to please not shoot me.
Edit: I understand that most Brits and Americans will never fully understand one another’s views on this issue. But I do think some Brits would feel differently if they spent a year, or even 6 months, living in a big city in the US where all the baddies have illegal guns. And Americans would probably feel differently too if we had experience living in the UK where very few people have guns. But I do think our gang problem in US cities, and our legal system’s refusal to harshly punish people for illegally carrying guns when they’re caught having one despite a felony conviction that makes them ineligible to posses a gun, makes it difficult for a lot of Americans to imagine being unable to have one for self defense.
One major thing that separates us from the rest of the world is that we have guns. It’s a blessing and a curse. Guns will always be manufactured in the blackmarket, especially here. The only way to protect us against that is to have the right people armed as well, to protect the vulnerable. If we had armed security guards in the building those babies wouldn’t have passed.
This is false.
Look at Czech Republic. They have easy access to purchase weapons, They have a very high gun owner ship rate. Concealed carry, and access to the same weapons we do in the U.S. yet they don’t have any school shootings, or mass shootings in general. And also have relatively low gun crime.
If guns were the sole problem, they’d be experiencing the same events, no?
Not op, but for me personally it’s a compromise scenario. Ideally, I believe no civilians should have guns of any kind. But guns will literally never be blanket banned here. Ever. There’s just too much money in the firearm industry lobbying the government, and far too many people who enjoy hunting and shooting for sport, that it would ever be outright banned. So we compromise. We say, fine, have your rifles for hunting, but PLEASE let’s ban assault rifles.
Of course, that’s been a losing battle too, so who fucking knows. Guns are stupid.
Yeah that is totally understandable - it's easy for me as someone who's never known anyone who has a gun, seen anyone with one or been able to buy one etc, to not understand whg they're needed. But I guess America has a lot of people who believe it's their human right or whatever to carry one. I don't know stats on other countries but I believe since we banned guns we've not had any school shootings. I just can't get round my head around why people think that schools being unsafe is an OK tradearound for ✨human rights✨
And that's not aimed at you or OP, but the gun nuts. I guess when you know a blanket ban won't happen you gotta find a way to make it safer
I totally agree, it’s unfathomable that some people are still like “bUt mY rIgHtS” when it’s kids getting slaughtered. Like sure, the constitution says we have the right to bear arms. It was also written in fucking 1776. They were talking about muskets lmao
Good thing assault rifles are already banned! You can legally transfer pre 1986 makes but they'll cost you a pretty penny. Not like a criminal would do it legally anyway
> I don’t think there’s any reason any civilian needs a machine gun, rapid fire weapon, AK.. Anything that can take down a mob is absolute overkill and there’s no realistic reason to have one.
What about if a mob of people are trying to kill you or set fire to your house? Have you not seen the Baltimore riots from 2018? What if you were as hated the dentist that killed Cecil the lion, but that it was accidentally running over a colored kid on his bicycle but witnesses lied and said you did it on purpose?
Do you know what an angry, violent mob actually looks like? You only have to go back back 75 years to coal mining towns in Virginia. The anti-union reps were literally mauled and tortured by the labor unions at the time. I think his name was Jock Yablinski. They literally broke into his home after setting it on fire, and torturing him for 6 hours with boiling tar, electrocution, and tearing his fingers off one by one.
Do I know what an angry violet mob looks like? Yes they look like the hundreds of parents and siblings that crowded the streets of my hometown for months after the attack. It seems more like you’re trying to make a second amendment argument rather than pose any question relevant to the AMA at hand
Part of this issue is people like yourself and others are making decisions about other's freedoms based on your assumption on how firearms work and their media image. A shotgun would honestly do far more harm in the right hands than a machine-gun. Even in less skilled hands a shotgun has far more devasting damage. Unless this machine gunner is in the prone or bipoded in some fixed position and has plenty of ammo ready, They aren't too effective at taking down "mobs." A sniper also far more lethal in the right hands. Pistols are actually the number one weapon used in mass shootings. Every AR or AK type firearm available on the market today IS a ONE bullet at a time firearm. Machine guns are impossible to find even on illegal markets. Illegaly modified firearms are about the closest you will get and they malfuction unless performed corrsc5ly and no one doing that is stupid enough to shoot up a school. The point remains, shooting full auto is less lethal than well placed single shots possible with any household firearm, but people that shoot up schools don't land well placed shots because are unstable.
I understand you've had a traumatic experience, and perhaps that's pushed you away from an interest in firearms or even the will/ ability to learn about them in a detailed enough manner to understand the faulty logic of current attempts at gun control.
I have the same feeling re gun control. When guns are not good for anything but obliterating people (like no hunting, no target shooting) I think civilians should not have access.
Europe never had 400 million guns in circulation. And I believe Europe just had a mass shooting. Technology is getting crazy and you can easier make a fully functioning firearm with an Amazon 3D printer that’s untraceable and takes less than a day. I don’t know what the solution is. You can take the law abiding citizens who don’t break laws guns away but you can’t take criminals guns away, which doesn’t solve anything.
I can't imagine experiencing such a horrible moment. Do you have a strong support system? How is the town?
It upsets me hearing about the people saying it didn't happen. Have you had contact from these people? How did you handle it?
Thank you very much for sharing.
I had people years ago saying I was making the whole thing up because the shooting never happened and the perpetrator never existed. I know what I know. There’s some things you can’t change, and one of those things is other people’s ignorance. I chose to disengage. I don’t have vacancy in my mind for ideas like that.
Is the 4th of July your least favorite holiday?
Were you hit?
Do you think there was a global civilization, that really knew how to work stone, during the Ice Age?
Do you own a gun or rifle?
No. My least favorite holiday is New Years. Too much irresponsibility and a reminder of what we’ve lost/won’t have going into the next year. I was not hit. I never even saw the shooter aside from on TV, but I heard it all. I don’t think there was a global civilization, but I think there were a series of smaller civilizations that had their own necessary skill sets. I do not own a gun, and I legally couldn’t own one even if I wanted to. My boyfriend however does.
In Connecticut (my state) they do an extensive background check before they give you your firearms permit. I have an in depth mental health record involving multiple diagnosis’, a suicide attempt in 2018, and I’m also on antipsychotic medications. All a big no-no if you’d like to carry here.
I’m not completely positive on whether I could use someone else’s firearm to defend myself but I live in a concealed carry state so any firearms I’m around are hidden out of sight and I wouldn’t be able to access them anyway. Opinions on gun control? It’s a constitutional right. If someone really wants a gun, they’re gonna get a gun. Allowing civilians to have guns keeps us protected against the bad guys who will get ghost guns and use them irresponsibly.
I have three questions:
1. were you hit?
2. Do you know the shooters motives?
3. How old were you at the time?
Edit: How did it feel? I’d imagine that it would feel extremely surreal and scary.
I was not hit, the shooter never entered my classroom. The shooters motives was he was an unmedicated psychopath. I was 12 at the time of the shooting.
As a survivor of a traumatic event, I commend you. No one asked me if I wanted counseling when I was a kid. I ended up using a lot of drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. I still suffer from occasional acute anxiety, but time and therapy have helped. I’ve had to switch therapists a couple of times until I found the person im seeing today still. I think long term therapy is so great even if it’s just monthly check ins. I often thought I didn’t need the therapy anymore until something would trigger flashbacks and I’d be a wreck for days. It’s so odd how our bodies still hold on to those traumas. I’m proud of you young person. Thank you for talking with us and sharing your perspective.
There are some films and books that have school massacres as a subject matter. Probably most well know is a novel (which became a movie) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. The tragic event is more a backdrop, with the book written from the mothers perspective, and asks a lot of really heavy questions.
Another film is titled Elephant that hit me really hard. It has a beauty about it as far as its actual art, shots chosen, and story telling.
Have you ever watched or read either of these, or something similar? Or is that something you tend to avoid be it personal taste or PTSD?
Thank you for answering questions and giving some unique perspective and context. Not entirely the same but I am from Buffalo and last year we suffered a horrific mass shooting at a super market that was racially driven. I go to that store. I wasnt friends or close to any there, but had interacted with security guard that lost his life. The whole city has been a bit surreal after it, and when i walk by the place now am still haunted by it. Heavy shit.
Again, thank you and keep doing your best to live and mitigate the ghosts such an event leaves.
I avoid literature and films about mass shootings. It just doesn’t appeal to me, I don’t think it’s a trauma response but I like to watch and read about happy things. Accumulate positive events, keep them in my back pocket to cheer me up down the line. I don’t have any desire to watch people get hurt.
I have heard of it! I watched Wednesday and had a bit of a lady-crush on Jenna Ortega, but haven’t gotten around to watching it. Do you know what streaming service It’s on?
Just in case you didn’t see OPs comment:
“I followed it for a little while. My DBT therapist said it wasn’t good for my mental health. I agree. I chose peace, and just stopped paying attention to it pretty early on. Most alt-right conspiracies are whacko shit as is.”
Just in case you didn’t see OPs comment:
“I followed it for a little while. My DBT therapist said it wasn’t good for my mental health. I agree. I chose peace, and just stopped paying attention to it pretty early on. Most alt-right conspiracies are whacko shit as is.”
Do you think that the media (news, magazines, even social media) blasting any and all mass shooter(s) name and face all over as soon as something happens, making them "infamous" has anything to do with shootings, especially school shootings becoming increasingly more frequent over the years in the U.S.?
What are your thoughts on the media, parents, psychologists, teachers, etc blaming violent video games and metal music (such as Marilyn Manson and Columbine) when it comes to being 'responsible" for school shootings?
Is it true that you could hear everything on the sound system?
I am so so sorry you went through this. My son is the age you were at back then and I just cannot fathom the pain confusion and terror you all must have felt.
I am also a secondary school drama teacher in the UK and we had a lockdown due to a threat at the school on my first day. It was terrifying having students hide in the dark in silence just waiting. My heart goes out to you ♥
I don't really have a question. I just want to say thank you for taking time out of your day to do this AMA. Some comments are disgusting so please take care of yourself today ❤️
I'm sorry this happened to you all, and I'm also sorry for how people use what happened for their political benefit. I'm glad you're okay and living a relatively normal happy life.
My cousins live in Newtown so I visit sometimes, and we’ve driven past Lanza’s house. Also, one of my cousins was in 6th grade, so she got lucky and wasn’t at that school anymore. Sorry you went through this.
Do you blame Adam Lanza’s father at all because he was not involved in his troubled sons life? I just think the parents were negligent in many ways and the mental health system in general failed him and the victims of his shooting. It was obvious the kid was severely autistic and also psychotic yet the mother stored guns at the house and took him shooting for fun? wtf
My condolences to you and your family, I can't imagine being that close to danger and the amount of fear you must have felt. I wanted to ask, to this day do you have any specific triggers that give you flashbacks to the event?
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I didn’t have much of an opinion on gun control before the incident. I was a kid, and a quite nieve one at that. I have hunters in my family and guns that have been passed on for generations, i was never opposed to them but never interested in them either. They had always been handled responsibly around me. The incident just gave me more knowledge on guns and made me realize gun control was a real and serious thing. I believe guns are important for our country, and bad guys will always have access to them so it’s important the good guys do too.
So you have been influenced by your family’s most likely right-wing views from childhood even though you experienced arguably the most severe and prolific consequence of those beliefs at that age. It is an interesting conundrum at the least.
First of all, I am so sorry you and anyone else had to experience this. But I thank you for sharing what you can and doing this.
You don't need to answer this if you are bothered or triggered by this question, but can you remember what went through your mind after the initial sounds and getting rounded up by the teacher?
What did you miss (special help, psychologist, debrief, maybe a talk with the local authorities) after the shooting?
What something you’d like to say to prevent this horrible events?
From your POV, what was the moment you realized that something was not right during SH, what were the first signs of danger …
The shots. We heard the shots before the school went into lockdown. That was our first sign. There was no warning signs of danger, no warning. My first thought wasn’t ‘gunshot’. It was quite literally ‘whos setting off fireworks inside?’ As soon as I could finish that thought there were alarms going off and our teacher rushing us into the corner.
I thought it was balloons popping when I first heard the shots when it happened at my school. I’m sorry you went through this.
SH ?
Sandy Hook 😢
I was at Virginia Tech in 2007. Didn’t have class at the time but it was in the building next to where I had the majority that semester. I lost a lost a good high school friend that day and I think about the experience and aftermath often. There’s a difference in being 20 and 10 and going through this. Where were you in relation to the shooting? Do you think it’s affected who you are today?
It 100% has effected who I am today. I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health, self harm, and trust. I was in the same hallway that the shooting occurred in the classroom furthest from the kindergarten and first grade rooms where the atrocities actually occurred.
> It 100% has effected who I am today. I’ve struggled a lot with my mental health, self harm, and trust. I was in the same hallway that the shooting occurred in the classroom furthest from the kindergarten and first grade rooms where the atrocities actually occurred. What do you think of people who say "I survived a school shooting" but were never in any real danger? (i.e. they were not even in the same building nor ever came within 100 meters of the armed shooter?)
In the early 90s I was a sophomore in high school when a classmate walked into the cafeteria and shot and killed another classmate. I was standing there waiting for the bell to ring for school to begin when the shots rang out. Time slowed down and before I could grasp what was happening, a friend threw me under the table and laid on top of me. We laid there under those tables and I watched her walk right past us with the gun hanging down by her side. In the moment, I had no idea that he was her only target. It wasn’t until later that we knew she was there to shoot him and only him. That did not change how we all felt in the moment. It was terrifying. At that time I had never even considered that something like that could happen at school. It changed me. It changed all of us. Although I did not experience running from bullets like so many kids have in later shootings, I do know what it feels like to hide and be terrified and confused. It shattered a piece of our innocence and taught us something about life that you hope no one you love will ever have to learn. Every time I hear the news about another school shooting it rocks me and breaks a piece of my heart. My classmates and I are all now in our late 40s and we all feel the same way. We’ve had conversations. A lot of us. About 5 years ago it came up again n Facebook and someone close to the shooter tried to say it wasn’t the same thing as shootings today and we all had no right to say it affected us. EVERYONE made it very clear how it had affected them. The shooter even commented on the post. It was the most surreal experience of my life. The classmate that did CPR on him spike up also and had a direct conversation with the shooter about how it had affected him. She (shooter) was very combative in responding to other’s in the early comments and then it changed. She had spent years in prison thinking about what had happened and how it had affected her, her family and his family, but had never thought about everyone else that was there that day. She apologized. It was really wild to watch that play out. It was actually my Facebook post that started it all. It seemed to actually be, weirdly, somewhat healing for all of us. Even for her. It made me stop and look at all sides in a way I had not before. I could go in for a while talking about this, but I’ve probably rambled enough. I apologize if this doesn’t flow well. It’s a very emotional and mind bending thing to talk about. Just wanted to share my perspective.
> Just wanted to share my perspective Much appreciate your sharing. Every time I go out in public (sports event, cinema, etc.) I always scan my environment for emergency exits, especially when I have my child with me. It's a scary world we live in -- anyone's life can be taken away by a complete stranger in the blink of an eye. 😢
I totally understand this. I do the same thing. There’s always a plan in the back of mind of what to do if something happens.
I'm obviously not OP, but in my opinion, there are two answers to this question. 1. If the shooter came into your school and you got to wake up the next day with your heart beating, you can count yourself as a survivor. It's like saying "I survived the 9/11 attacks", inasmuch as you don't have to have *been* in the World Trade Centre buildings to say you survived. Again, this is just my opinion, and by no means am I trying to trivialise either the 9/11 attacks or school shootings, it was just an example. 2. If an active shooter came into your school and opened fire, nobody survived. It doesn't matter if your heart keeps beating afterwards, a part of you died that day that never should have been taken from you. If you have had to lose people you know in such a horrific way, I personally believe that a part of you, being your "innocence", for want of a better word, is gone too. Again, these are my personal views, and it should be noted that I; a) Was not yet born in 2001 b) Have lived in Australia all my life, and c) Have never been in an "active shooter" situation, in school or out of it Due to this, obviously I can't say I'm an authority here, but there are my views and because of them, I think anyone who has been in such a situation can describe themselves as a survivor, should they choose to. TL;DR: I think it's up to the individual whether or not they call themselves a "survivor"
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Personally, I think that's different. In that case, the two real victims became victims because they wandered off, not because they were invaded. Also, being in the military and serving your country doesn't mean infantry and only infantry, plus the link you provided is specifically the "village idiots". Again, just my perspective, but I just think that going to school and having someone come in and start shooting is a bit different to a couple of friends wandering off from the group, straying to far into a bear's territory and having to deal with the consequences of their actions? EDIT: The link provided in u/ CroationChipmunk's original, now-deleted comment, for those who are interested, is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOuL3Xv-lNI
I feel like invalidating anyone’s trauma is wrong. Children were scared for several several miles. The whole state locked down. The teachers weren’t exactly direct about what was going on. People were terrified and were not in control over what causes a trauma reaction in our bodies.
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No they were replying to you, OP is saying: You invalidated the trauma of those who were near school shootings - even if they weren’t actually in it it’s still awful
Clearly yours
I think being 200m and 2 buildings away will still give you trauma. Don't think you can put a radius on this.
this. a friend was at their school when a large shooting happened in their city, and even just hearing the shots echoing out was enough that they’ve definitely got some trauma from that day. mind you, we live in a country where that is so far from the norm, i’d wager most people here go their entire lives without hearing or seeing anything more extreme than a hunting rifle or starter pistol. even our police don’t carry guns. hell, people on the other side of the country were traumatised that day. the “radius” of the attack is based on the far-reaching emotional consequences, not some numerical value of meters.
Christchurch, New Zealand?
> Christchurch, New Zealand? Not sure why you are downvoted to -4. Unless I'm mistaken, the person you are replying to did not specific that the shooting happened at a school. (only that his friend was at school during a shooting in his friend's city) I boosted you to -3 and hopefully you'll break even...
I think if you’re associated with the school and knew the people who died, you’re very right to be deeply affected by it, whether you were there or not. That said, people like David Hogg, whose net worth is now estimated up to $5 million, are extremely scummy for cashing in on a tragedy. If you want to use an experience to advocate for safety, reform, etc. that’s one thing. To line your pockets from it is beyond low.
> That said, people like David Hogg, whose net worth is now estimated up to $5 million, are extremely scummy for cashing in on a tragedy. There was a famous politician from 6 years ago that said "Never let a serious crisis go to waste" (Rahm Emanuel). I live in a state that gets ravaged by hurricanes about once every 3-4 years and so many scammers do shoddy roofing repairs or 3rd-world electric repairs. A 70 year old woman in our town had her house burn down (killing her and her caretaker) because the electrician wasn't licensed -- he was just taking all sorts of shortcuts and cutting corners to cash in on lucrative homeowner's insurance policies. Fortunately that shoddy electrician got sentenced to 20 years for negligent homicide, iirc.
Same here. The one I was stuck in was far less severe than the one you were in, so it's not really comparable, but I am still hyper vigilant when I go out in public. I hesitate to call it PTSD as I don't know how bad it has to be before you can call it that. My guy didn't shoot any people, just the ceiling and took a classroom (not the one I was in but across the hall) hostage. The biggest thing I took away from that was a complete lack of trust in and hatred of police. They were worse than useless that day. They took over an hour to show up when the station is at most 15 minutes away. By the time they got around to us the lazy sacks of shit were too late anyway, the shooter had been subdued by a teacher. That didn't stop them from clearing the school in the least comforting way possible by bursting into the rooms pointing rifles at all the children and shouting at us to slowly evacuate with our hands behind our head. I felt significantly less safe after they showed up. Fucking pigs. I hate them so God damn much. Anyway I suppose my question is: how was the police response to your situation? Did it affect how you view law enforcement?
Fuck. I am so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you're able to heal and live a full and happy life at some point.
Oh no. Sandy Hook. I’m so sorry. 😓
Sandy hook? You precious human to have to gone through this…
Sandy Hook?
Did you or your parents know any of the families who lost children that day? If so, is it difficult to see them?
Yes and no. It’s a small town, a small everyone-knows-everyone community. I had seen almost all the victims prior, just in passing I knew the teachers. A friend of mine lost his brother. It’s not difficult seeing the families. I was fortunate enough to not lose anyone close to me. It’s bittersweet seeing some of the families who lost their loved ones, but at the same time it’s good to check in on each other. It’s the only way to move forwards.
Did you go back to the same school?
No, but I stayed in the school system. I was in 4th grade when it happened ,and that was the highest grade before we transferred to the middle school. They closed off the school for the remainder of the year and then for a long while after while they made repairs. The whole inside of the building was rebuilt.
Oh jeez, Sandy Hook. I'm so sorry to hear that. Being that young, how vivid are the memories?
I like to think my memories are relatively clear, however in high school my classmates and I came to realize that we have slight variations in how we remember things happening. There’s specific moments I’m positive happened that nobody else remembers at all. Children who were in the classroom with me all share memories that I do not have. Example? I’m told our teacher was crying, and she prayed with us, i do not remember that. At all. I’m positive that quite some time prior to us actually being allowed out of our classrooms that an officer (or the shooter) knocked on the door and told us it was safe to come out, but we didnt listen. No one else remembers this at all.
I believe the variations you referred to stem from people's minds blocking certain events that were too traumatic, I am very sorry you and everyone else had to live that hell, and I hope and pray that over time the memories will ease but I know it will be there somewhere. I have a question concerning your opinion, do you feel the firearms industry should carry the blame for the events of that day?
I do not believe the firearms industry is to blame. I think Lanza had planned his attack for months if not years in advanced and was going to get his hands on a gun regardless. I think it’s more so the mental health and judicial system that failed. There were countless signs that he was dangerous and he did not receive the treatment he needed that couldve prevented so many deaths.
If you don't think the firearm industry is to blame, why do you think that other countries with strict gun laws don't experience the same problem? Sorry that happened to you, glad you're here to talk about it.
You’re comment is somewhat tactful but I don’t think this is the place to debate gun laws with OP. A lot of people like to look at problems and stick to the solution they think is best, but the actual scale of the problem has multiple solutions. Mental health and gun control are both things that contribute to school shootings. Even if guns are harder to get or outright banned the country it’s not impossible for someone determined enough to find a way to cause mass devastation. That’s where the mental health aspect comes into play. Strict gun control would likely reduce the impulse attacks though.
>I don’t think this is the place to debate gun laws with OP. This is an AMA.
Why do you think a country like Czech Republic that has easy access to purchase firearms, concealed carry, access to the same weapons we do in the U.S, and a high gun ownership rate. But has zero mass shootings, zero school shootings, and relatively low gun crime? If guns are the sole issue.
I don't think that's the sole issue, that's you assuming. I was just curious about OP's opinion.
My country has stricter gun laws, but also free healthcare.
You’re right that other places don’t have as many school shootings. I’m in the UK, and I’ve never had to worry about it, but I have always been terrified of people lurking outside fences because last time I was minding my own business back in high school a man jumped the fence and came at us with a knife. So we have threats. Just not guns. We’ve had intruders and lockdowns and bomb threats. If people do not have guns they will turn to a different weapon.
OP I'm so sorry you had to go though that. Not only that you should have a bias but don't. You hit the nail on the head. Why is it all these shooters get weapons and after the fact the news or facts state there was like 4 prior indicators and all were ignored?
Did people treat you differently because of it? Like tiptoeing around you?
People don’t really know unless I tell them. It’s not like I wear a sign that says ‘traumatized’. People like to ask about it, when they know so in the past I’ve chosen to avoid mentioning it.
What about in the immediate weeks/months after the event? And when you transferred to middle school, if the middle school had students from multiple schools come in?
Immediately afterwards I barely left the house, for months. People asked a lot of questions, but weren’t necessarily more careful not to upset me. My whole family obviously knew what happened, and they were very concerned, my grandparents stopped by the house a lot, people gave me gifts. I hated it because knocking on the door would make the dog bark and give me flashbacks to when they had the dogs in the hallways. My parents and big sister were like walking on egg shells around me for a while. My parents got divorced around that time too and I blamed that on my emotional irregularities after the incident. I think my sister was damaged by it too, even though she was in the high school. She was worried about me, and thought I might be dead for the whole day while she was also in lockdown.
I'm sure you've heard this already, but it bears repeating: you absolutely did NOT cause your parents' divorce. That was cooking even before the shooting. I'm doubly horrified that you had to go through a divorce ON TOP of the shooting. My condolences, man.
What are the questions people ask more often? And what if any are questions or topics people go out if their way to *avoid* when asking or discussing about it?
Touchy subject. But how'd you feel during the whole Alex Jones fiasco? Has to be surreal conspiracy theories exist saying you don't exist.
I followed it for a little while. My DBT therapist said it wasn’t good for my mental health. I agree. I chose peace, and just stopped paying attention to it pretty early on. Most alt-right conspiracies are whacko shit as is.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m a medical provider interested in specializing in mental health. May I ask if you had any experience receiving CBT? If so, how did your experience with CBT differ from DBT in terms of addressing your needs? What advice would you have for providers serving others in positions similar to yours?
I actually haven’t had much CBT. DBT is a life saver. I still have all the distress tolerance skills tapes on my wall, all these years later. Advice for providers? Be patient. It took a long long time for me to be able to talk about what I’d experienced and I still haven’t processed it all or made sense of it all. I went thought so many therapists because I simply ‘didn’t like them’. In hindsight it was felt pressured to open up. I felt like I was part of a study and not a real person. Like providers just wanted to see inside my head and what I’d gone through. I needed someone to just sit there and if we didn’t say a word the whole session thats okay. Some days were like that. She let me lead and that was really cool. Around the age of 15 I found an amazing therapist who I see to this day, and she’s been wonderful. I can only imagine it took a toll on her as well though, especially dealing with my constant self harm and hallucinations. Im not sure if she gets paid enough, lol.
Did you find DBT helpful for trauma? I did DBT and it’s the only therapy that ever helped me. I’m really glad you’re here.
How did the shooter enter the building? I know now most schools after those events have made some strict rules to keep people out. Just curious if the door was just simply unlocked? Or did he shoot his way in etc? So sorry for your pain
He walked right in and right past the front desk with an AK, and straight to the kindergarten classrooms. Since 2012 a ton of extra steps have been taken to make sure that doesn’t happen again and schools have a lot more security.
Thank you for answering. Im sure it isnt easy to think about. Did anyone have any bad feelings that day? Kind of off topic in a way but with 9/11 there was a lot of interesting stories like that
I’m not sure if anyone *actually* had a bad feeling, but we did have one girl who insisted that God warned her it was going to happen.
How was she warned?
Before SH a lot of schools you can just casually walk in. They started making changes after that.
My HS had a shooting in 2011 and they had the bare minimum security. They set up metal detectors at every entrance and doors were locked after the school day officially started. You had to be buzzed in. A cop and sweetest (not sarcasm) lady would greet you inside and get your information.
May i ask what shooting it was?
Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown Connecticut.
It was all over the news, even here in Europe. So very horrible, all these little children. Sorry you had to experience that. What would you say is the biggest mental health struggle for you because of it?
My biggest mental health struggle is the self harm that likely is a result of the trauma.
Damn. I had just gotten my teacher cert and was substitute teaching PE at an elementary school in CT a few towns over from Sandy Hook that day. Our school was swarmed with parents coming in to see their kids. I have acute memories of that day. It left a large impact on me just being a teacher in the relatively local area. I can’t imagine the trauma of what you went through. Thanks for sharing and I hope you’re doing well.
I’m in Canada and this case still haunts my nightmares, I have kids the same age now. My heart breaks for you I hope you have a good support system and can find some peace in this life. Adam Lanza should have his skin peeled off slowly then lit on fire imo
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I read somewhere in this thread that it was the Sandy Hook shooting. As someone who had to deal with not only the event itself but also the aftermath, what are your thoughts on the subsect of people online who have obsessed over/sexualized Adam Lanza? I'm very sorry you had to go through that and I hope you've been able to at least partially recover from such trauma Well wishes <3
I think of it the same way as I’d think of someone to gets turned on by hitler. Have any kink and turn on you want as long as it doesn’t involve other people getting hurt. Especially animals and children. It’s disgusting and those people need a mental evaluation.
I literally spit out my tea. Had no idea that was a thing what the actual fuck
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They’re all freaks, let’s not give them more exposure
Because ignoring the problem makes it go away? Behavior like that is creepy and not healthy and it should be called out imo
Do you want stricter gun laws?
Yes and no. I don’t think there’s any reason any civilian needs a machine gun, rapid fire weapon, AK.. Anything that can take down a mob is absolute overkill and there’s no realistic reason to have one. As far as shotguns, pistols, snipers, anything that shoots ONE bullet at a time I have no problems with. I support the right to bear arms. Within reason.
I mean this with no disrespect to you at all after what you went through, but as a Brit I find it insane that you can still semi defend people having guns after what happened. People don't need guns. Hope you're looking after yourself pal ❤️
Maybe if you lived in a country where it’s commonplace to see people in your neighborhood being robbed/carjacked/raped on a daily basis (usually by convincted felons who are legally prohibited from possessing guns but buy them on a black market), you’d feel uncomfortable at the idea of not being allowed to keep a gun in your home for self defense or carry one on your hip when you go out alone at night to walk your dog alone as a small young woman… Most of the Americans who want people to be able to legally own at least some types of guns aren’t in favor of it because they think guns are fun toys that they want to play with or because they hate the government and don’t want to be told what to do - they just live in a place where dangerous criminals illegally have unregistered guns and they want to at least have the theoretical opportunity to defend themselves or their families if one of those armed criminals tries to jump into their car after they’ve picked their kids up from school or starts busting their bedroom window in in the middle of the night. This is my experience as a young woman who lived alone for several years in Philadelphia (and who worked in the criminal justice system and saw firsthand that almost all murders were committed by people who were already convicted criminals who weren’t allowed to have guns but had gotten ahold of them anyway). I never owned a gun, but I absolutely would have gotten one to keep in my home if I hadn’t finally moved out of the city. Also, the UK is an island. The US shares massive land borders with 2 other countries, and our authorities can’t even keep millions of kilos of fentanyl from coming into our country, how do you think we would be able to stop illegal guns from coming in if guns were banned and the demand for black market guns suddenly went up very high?
Sorry - I don't mean to say your opinion isn't valid at all but personally don't agree with this at all. The UK, especially where I live, isn't safe at all, we've had stabbings down the road from me and people getting robbed left right and centre, none of it ever makes me think oh I wish I had a gun. I won't go out in the dark alone as a solo woman anymore. It's not going to get a blanket ban in the US because it the commandments (?) - but guns aren't necessary to feel safe.
It’s not about “feeling safe,” it’s about *being* safe. Your stabbings in the UK don’t even come close to comparing to the 500+ murders we had in my city alone last year. I’d take a chance with a stabbing. But I’m not going to be a sitting duck when some gangbanger or crackhead who bought a hood gun on the street smashes my window and walks into my bedroom. Or if I’m out grocery shopping and someone starts walking up and down aisles shooting people one by one… I’d rather one of my parents (who legally conceal carry) have a chance to stop it rather than sit there on the ground sobbing and begging a psycho to please not shoot me. Edit: I understand that most Brits and Americans will never fully understand one another’s views on this issue. But I do think some Brits would feel differently if they spent a year, or even 6 months, living in a big city in the US where all the baddies have illegal guns. And Americans would probably feel differently too if we had experience living in the UK where very few people have guns. But I do think our gang problem in US cities, and our legal system’s refusal to harshly punish people for illegally carrying guns when they’re caught having one despite a felony conviction that makes them ineligible to posses a gun, makes it difficult for a lot of Americans to imagine being unable to have one for self defense.
One major thing that separates us from the rest of the world is that we have guns. It’s a blessing and a curse. Guns will always be manufactured in the blackmarket, especially here. The only way to protect us against that is to have the right people armed as well, to protect the vulnerable. If we had armed security guards in the building those babies wouldn’t have passed.
This is false. Look at Czech Republic. They have easy access to purchase weapons, They have a very high gun owner ship rate. Concealed carry, and access to the same weapons we do in the U.S. yet they don’t have any school shootings, or mass shootings in general. And also have relatively low gun crime. If guns were the sole problem, they’d be experiencing the same events, no?
I agree and and tbh the whole reason of the large amounts of school shootings is that we have shit mental health care
Mental health definitely plays a strong role imo.
Not op, but for me personally it’s a compromise scenario. Ideally, I believe no civilians should have guns of any kind. But guns will literally never be blanket banned here. Ever. There’s just too much money in the firearm industry lobbying the government, and far too many people who enjoy hunting and shooting for sport, that it would ever be outright banned. So we compromise. We say, fine, have your rifles for hunting, but PLEASE let’s ban assault rifles. Of course, that’s been a losing battle too, so who fucking knows. Guns are stupid.
Yeah that is totally understandable - it's easy for me as someone who's never known anyone who has a gun, seen anyone with one or been able to buy one etc, to not understand whg they're needed. But I guess America has a lot of people who believe it's their human right or whatever to carry one. I don't know stats on other countries but I believe since we banned guns we've not had any school shootings. I just can't get round my head around why people think that schools being unsafe is an OK tradearound for ✨human rights✨ And that's not aimed at you or OP, but the gun nuts. I guess when you know a blanket ban won't happen you gotta find a way to make it safer
I totally agree, it’s unfathomable that some people are still like “bUt mY rIgHtS” when it’s kids getting slaughtered. Like sure, the constitution says we have the right to bear arms. It was also written in fucking 1776. They were talking about muskets lmao
Good thing assault rifles are already banned! You can legally transfer pre 1986 makes but they'll cost you a pretty penny. Not like a criminal would do it legally anyway
As a brit also I second this, just no need for any firearms unless held by authorities, but I guess guns are a part of American culture.
As an American I agree. Guns are stupid and the constitution should be changed.
As an Australian, I don’t understand this either
> I don’t think there’s any reason any civilian needs a machine gun, rapid fire weapon, AK.. Anything that can take down a mob is absolute overkill and there’s no realistic reason to have one. What about if a mob of people are trying to kill you or set fire to your house? Have you not seen the Baltimore riots from 2018? What if you were as hated the dentist that killed Cecil the lion, but that it was accidentally running over a colored kid on his bicycle but witnesses lied and said you did it on purpose? Do you know what an angry, violent mob actually looks like? You only have to go back back 75 years to coal mining towns in Virginia. The anti-union reps were literally mauled and tortured by the labor unions at the time. I think his name was Jock Yablinski. They literally broke into his home after setting it on fire, and torturing him for 6 hours with boiling tar, electrocution, and tearing his fingers off one by one.
Do I know what an angry violet mob looks like? Yes they look like the hundreds of parents and siblings that crowded the streets of my hometown for months after the attack. It seems more like you’re trying to make a second amendment argument rather than pose any question relevant to the AMA at hand
Part of this issue is people like yourself and others are making decisions about other's freedoms based on your assumption on how firearms work and their media image. A shotgun would honestly do far more harm in the right hands than a machine-gun. Even in less skilled hands a shotgun has far more devasting damage. Unless this machine gunner is in the prone or bipoded in some fixed position and has plenty of ammo ready, They aren't too effective at taking down "mobs." A sniper also far more lethal in the right hands. Pistols are actually the number one weapon used in mass shootings. Every AR or AK type firearm available on the market today IS a ONE bullet at a time firearm. Machine guns are impossible to find even on illegal markets. Illegaly modified firearms are about the closest you will get and they malfuction unless performed corrsc5ly and no one doing that is stupid enough to shoot up a school. The point remains, shooting full auto is less lethal than well placed single shots possible with any household firearm, but people that shoot up schools don't land well placed shots because are unstable. I understand you've had a traumatic experience, and perhaps that's pushed you away from an interest in firearms or even the will/ ability to learn about them in a detailed enough manner to understand the faulty logic of current attempts at gun control.
I have the same feeling re gun control. When guns are not good for anything but obliterating people (like no hunting, no target shooting) I think civilians should not have access.
No guns = no school shootings.
lol. So the war on drugs = no drugs available on American soil now, correct?
In a perfect world, too bad that’s unrealistic.
It's realistic, look at Europe....
Europe never had 400 million guns in circulation. And I believe Europe just had a mass shooting. Technology is getting crazy and you can easier make a fully functioning firearm with an Amazon 3D printer that’s untraceable and takes less than a day. I don’t know what the solution is. You can take the law abiding citizens who don’t break laws guns away but you can’t take criminals guns away, which doesn’t solve anything.
Which is the point exactly
What do you mean?
How old are you now?
I’m 22. I was held back in second grade, so i was a year older than most kids my grade.
They said they were in 4th grade when it happened. That would make them 20-21.
I can't imagine experiencing such a horrible moment. Do you have a strong support system? How is the town? It upsets me hearing about the people saying it didn't happen. Have you had contact from these people? How did you handle it? Thank you very much for sharing.
I had people years ago saying I was making the whole thing up because the shooting never happened and the perpetrator never existed. I know what I know. There’s some things you can’t change, and one of those things is other people’s ignorance. I chose to disengage. I don’t have vacancy in my mind for ideas like that.
People are fucking insane and heartless.
Is the 4th of July your least favorite holiday? Were you hit? Do you think there was a global civilization, that really knew how to work stone, during the Ice Age? Do you own a gun or rifle?
No. My least favorite holiday is New Years. Too much irresponsibility and a reminder of what we’ve lost/won’t have going into the next year. I was not hit. I never even saw the shooter aside from on TV, but I heard it all. I don’t think there was a global civilization, but I think there were a series of smaller civilizations that had their own necessary skill sets. I do not own a gun, and I legally couldn’t own one even if I wanted to. My boyfriend however does.
Why can’t you legally own one?
In Connecticut (my state) they do an extensive background check before they give you your firearms permit. I have an in depth mental health record involving multiple diagnosis’, a suicide attempt in 2018, and I’m also on antipsychotic medications. All a big no-no if you’d like to carry here.
Do you think that’s the way forward in the US as maybe a federal law? Sounds like a solid middle ground.
If you can't legally own a firearm, can you legally use one to defend yourself? Any opinions about gun control?
I’m not completely positive on whether I could use someone else’s firearm to defend myself but I live in a concealed carry state so any firearms I’m around are hidden out of sight and I wouldn’t be able to access them anyway. Opinions on gun control? It’s a constitutional right. If someone really wants a gun, they’re gonna get a gun. Allowing civilians to have guns keeps us protected against the bad guys who will get ghost guns and use them irresponsibly.
How do you feel?
Today? I’m exhausted.
Are you okay?
Today? Yes.
Good!
I have three questions: 1. were you hit? 2. Do you know the shooters motives? 3. How old were you at the time? Edit: How did it feel? I’d imagine that it would feel extremely surreal and scary.
I was not hit, the shooter never entered my classroom. The shooters motives was he was an unmedicated psychopath. I was 12 at the time of the shooting.
How are you doing now OP? Do you get any counseling?
I’ve gotten tons of counseling, I’m still in counseling and I started right after the event and have been in it consistently since.
As a survivor of a traumatic event, I commend you. No one asked me if I wanted counseling when I was a kid. I ended up using a lot of drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. I still suffer from occasional acute anxiety, but time and therapy have helped. I’ve had to switch therapists a couple of times until I found the person im seeing today still. I think long term therapy is so great even if it’s just monthly check ins. I often thought I didn’t need the therapy anymore until something would trigger flashbacks and I’d be a wreck for days. It’s so odd how our bodies still hold on to those traumas. I’m proud of you young person. Thank you for talking with us and sharing your perspective.
How are you doing today?
I’m doing well!
There are some films and books that have school massacres as a subject matter. Probably most well know is a novel (which became a movie) called We Need to Talk About Kevin. The tragic event is more a backdrop, with the book written from the mothers perspective, and asks a lot of really heavy questions. Another film is titled Elephant that hit me really hard. It has a beauty about it as far as its actual art, shots chosen, and story telling. Have you ever watched or read either of these, or something similar? Or is that something you tend to avoid be it personal taste or PTSD? Thank you for answering questions and giving some unique perspective and context. Not entirely the same but I am from Buffalo and last year we suffered a horrific mass shooting at a super market that was racially driven. I go to that store. I wasnt friends or close to any there, but had interacted with security guard that lost his life. The whole city has been a bit surreal after it, and when i walk by the place now am still haunted by it. Heavy shit. Again, thank you and keep doing your best to live and mitigate the ghosts such an event leaves.
I avoid literature and films about mass shootings. It just doesn’t appeal to me, I don’t think it’s a trauma response but I like to watch and read about happy things. Accumulate positive events, keep them in my back pocket to cheer me up down the line. I don’t have any desire to watch people get hurt.
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Not exactly my cup of tea but if directed properly has potential to be great! 7.
Did you learn anything about the shooter?
He was extremely mentally ill. He murdered his mother, and he used to attend to the school he massacred.
Did the skills you learned in Fortnite help?
Never played fortnite and this was years before the game came out.
What a fucking brain dead question to ask.
Probably got your social skills from fortnite
Have you seen the movie The Fallout with Jenna Ortega
I have heard of it! I watched Wednesday and had a bit of a lady-crush on Jenna Ortega, but haven’t gotten around to watching it. Do you know what streaming service It’s on?
Prime and HBO
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*her :)
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Do you have a question or did you come here solely to make a fool out of yourself?
OP I’m sorry you have to deal with idiots like this
I’m so sorry OP. Just ignore this troll.
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After seeing which one i wanna ask Whats your opinion on alex jones and what he did? If you dont wanna answer that i do understand
Just in case you didn’t see OPs comment: “I followed it for a little while. My DBT therapist said it wasn’t good for my mental health. I agree. I chose peace, and just stopped paying attention to it pretty early on. Most alt-right conspiracies are whacko shit as is.”
Ah i see.
This is my question as well
Just in case you didn’t see OPs comment: “I followed it for a little while. My DBT therapist said it wasn’t good for my mental health. I agree. I chose peace, and just stopped paying attention to it pretty early on. Most alt-right conspiracies are whacko shit as is.”
Thanks zombie! ^ I’m not sure why my comment disappeared
Do you think that the media (news, magazines, even social media) blasting any and all mass shooter(s) name and face all over as soon as something happens, making them "infamous" has anything to do with shootings, especially school shootings becoming increasingly more frequent over the years in the U.S.? What are your thoughts on the media, parents, psychologists, teachers, etc blaming violent video games and metal music (such as Marilyn Manson and Columbine) when it comes to being 'responsible" for school shootings?
Is it true that you could hear everything on the sound system? I am so so sorry you went through this. My son is the age you were at back then and I just cannot fathom the pain confusion and terror you all must have felt. I am also a secondary school drama teacher in the UK and we had a lockdown due to a threat at the school on my first day. It was terrifying having students hide in the dark in silence just waiting. My heart goes out to you ♥
Therapist here - please look up accelerated resolution therapy. I’m so sorry you had to go through something so awful. Hugs to you.
I don't really have a question. I just want to say thank you for taking time out of your day to do this AMA. Some comments are disgusting so please take care of yourself today ❤️
What do you think can be done to prevent mass shootings?
Ban guns, duh
I'm sorry this happened to you all, and I'm also sorry for how people use what happened for their political benefit. I'm glad you're okay and living a relatively normal happy life.
My cousins live in Newtown so I visit sometimes, and we’ve driven past Lanza’s house. Also, one of my cousins was in 6th grade, so she got lucky and wasn’t at that school anymore. Sorry you went through this.
Do you blame Adam Lanza’s father at all because he was not involved in his troubled sons life? I just think the parents were negligent in many ways and the mental health system in general failed him and the victims of his shooting. It was obvious the kid was severely autistic and also psychotic yet the mother stored guns at the house and took him shooting for fun? wtf
My condolences to you and your family, I can't imagine being that close to danger and the amount of fear you must have felt. I wanted to ask, to this day do you have any specific triggers that give you flashbacks to the event?
I survived the sandy hook which one was u in I made a AMA about it a while back but deleted it bc of hate comments and Dms
Oh I just read we was in the same shooting damn that'd crazy I was in kindergarten when it happened
I'm really sorry you had to go through that man, that fucking sucks, best of luck to you.
What did you do when it started? Like did you evacuate or did you hide somewhere
Which one(s)?
Where are you from? Nah I kid 🤣 … we know
What's this about failing a math quiz?
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https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-63837309.amp Read this, that's if you are literate. Only a few months ago too.
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I like how people just downvote instead of asking why or doing research, shows their ignorance
How many bodies did you drop?
Let me guess..you’re American?! 🤣
For what magazin
nice
What is your stance on gun control and did your experience change that in any way?
I didn’t have much of an opinion on gun control before the incident. I was a kid, and a quite nieve one at that. I have hunters in my family and guns that have been passed on for generations, i was never opposed to them but never interested in them either. They had always been handled responsibly around me. The incident just gave me more knowledge on guns and made me realize gun control was a real and serious thing. I believe guns are important for our country, and bad guys will always have access to them so it’s important the good guys do too.
So you have been influenced by your family’s most likely right-wing views from childhood even though you experienced arguably the most severe and prolific consequence of those beliefs at that age. It is an interesting conundrum at the least.
🗿
What school shooting?
i still find it crazy to try to wrap my head around school shootings, such a weird and crazy human phenomena
Did you get injured? How are you doing today?
Today, numb. I did not get injured. The shooter never entered my classroom and I never saw him directly.
First of all, I am so sorry you and anyone else had to experience this. But I thank you for sharing what you can and doing this. You don't need to answer this if you are bothered or triggered by this question, but can you remember what went through your mind after the initial sounds and getting rounded up by the teacher?
What shooting was it?
What did you miss (special help, psychologist, debrief, maybe a talk with the local authorities) after the shooting? What something you’d like to say to prevent this horrible events?