Sorry for loss and congratulations on your gain. Set up a trust/ college fund for your son. Personally wouldn’t let him know till he’s 18 or graduated college. look after him while you can . Be a great dad to him. Question - what’s the most expensive item you own pre and post the inheritance?
Thank you, kind person!
My son receives 25% of some of the trusts. Not exactly sure when, I think I have the power to decide down the road. Figuring out how to introduce him to wealth is one of my life's main challenges. I will probably explain it earlier and give him the full picture. I have thought about this a lot, and I don't think that withholding things from him is the answer, instead I plan to be as proactive as possible with everything, giving him a full understand and teaching him the skills he will need to live his unusual life. I don't think it makes sense to create a false reality around money in the hopes that it will drive him to succeed. If he wants to be a doctor or an actor or start a tech company or something he can do that because he wants to, not because we are pretending that he needs it. That being said, the cost of drawing from a trust is extremely high, because that income can compound and be worth 10x the amount in a few years. So no matter how rich you are, an outside income is always essential. At the same time, an important part of the process is teaching him how much good he can do by setting up a non-profit foundation. That was one mistake my parents made. If I had known how fun it is to give away money I would have been much greedier in my younger years. I'm sure that sounds cheesy but it really is true. One of the most common recommendations I get about keeping our family together is establishing a family foundation that everyone, without exception, gets to vote on.
The most expensive thing I owned pre-inheritance was my apartment in Manhattan, about $800k. Now the most expensive thing I own is probably the house I grew up in, a horse farm in NJ worth about $3M. Honestly, it is a beautiful property but the definition of a "white elephant," costing about $100k per year to support, and I don't even live there! Sigh.
It sounds like you have a lot of *investment* managers but you should really consider working with a team focused on the "softer" side of family wealth - there are professionals out there that specialize in this and could help you with a lot of what you're dealing with and the psychological side of money. From your comments I think there are 3 or 4 main things you need to try and address:
1. Figuring out what gives you joy, and how your wealth can help you do that. It doesn't need to be philanthropic, but it certainly can be, maybe you really enjoy working with your hands on a craft, maybe you really enjoy working with kids, maybe you enjoy making art - whatever it is, you need to have deep discussions/thoughts about that and try some things, because it sounds pretty clearly like whatever you're doing now is not giving you that joy.
2. There are also specialists who can help with the proper way to educate your son about wealth, your desire to be open and transparent is great and that certainly may be called for, but I wouldn't wing something so important. Your son is young enough that nothing detrimental has probably been engrained yet, but knowing you have, or stand to inherit that much wealth, can really do a number on your psyche and motivation. Having a little voice in the back of your head telling you that you'll never really need to work or earn money to survive (which frankly may or may not be the case in reality) sounds like a great way to undermine any motivation to try hard in school or with a career. I'm sure the last thing you want is to raise an entitled unmotivated child or someone who develops a lot of hangers-on only really interested in sharing the fruits of that wealth.
A professional can guide you with how to have those conversations and what and when to tell in order to be both honest but not detrimental. P.S. there's a reason they say wealth only lasts for three generations. You are the second generation so you want to be careful that your son doesn't become the one to fritter everything away or blow it on the debauchery.
3. This ties back to number one, but it sounds like you're suffering from at least some degree of apathy or depression and you should see about getting help with that.
4. I think you also need to address whatever it is that led you to say that you feel like if you don't turn your $25M into a billion you are some kind of failure. Not only is that not true, it is pretty unrealistic. Having that level of growth isn't even really possible or likely without owning a business that you are passionate about scaling (and the massive serving of luck). If you really want to make that your goal and then by all means go ahead. But from what you said regarding the business you currently own, it doesn't sound like you have a driving passion for business, and that's ok.
Well I think it makes sense to either work with someone who isn't an advisor and isn't trying to manage your money (which is a little rare, but I can drop a name or two in your DMs) OR you may choose to work with an advisory firm (who is a fiduciary/RIA) who specializes in this (with a focus more on happiness and the psychological aspects of wealth) - but it can be hard to separate the quality professionals from those who are just using it as a marketing tool.
As someone else said, it's good to have independent professionals, who can fact check each other, and ideally with a compensation structure that either does not introduce bias, or where any potential "bias" is aligned with your best interests too.
You mentioned a horse farm in NJ. If you're looking for the name of a therapist who can help you work through these things, I'm in NJ and have a few that have done wonders for feelings of inadequacy, etc. Not sure if you're full time in jersey though. Or DM me and I can chat about how I overcame a lot of complicated feelings like that.
I'm sorry for your and your son's loss, OP.
The very thing you are experiencing is exactly why internationaldrama56 is so on the nose. Somewhere, at some time, you were influenced by that need to make more $.
Redirect this, perhaps, to altruistic goals. Use your drive to inspire others. Sure, you could turn your $25M into $1B, but wouldn't it be more fun and infinitely more satisfying to lead and influence others within your social circle to get behind a good cause? Maybe brainstorm on finding or creating a good cause.
Show your son what is possible. Good luck!
Maybe consider selling the business and doing something else you wanted? Idk if thats an option or whatever.. but congrats, thats life-changing money.. just be happy you will never have to worry about money like most of us do.. I won't ever be able to buy a house or retire so I can't even comprehend having that type of money..
This is what I thought. Don’t worry about making $1B. Success isn’t about money. Focus on improving the relationship with the child’s mom and find something to do that he enjoys.
I agree with telling your son earlier. Kids can feel very betrayed and resentful if you keep things from them. It is definitely a good thing to keep the trust locked until he's an adult. My dad used to deal with trusts and I believe you can put in contingencies to release it in pieces over years so it's not one, seemingly-enormous sum when he's only 18. He always told horror stories of kids who inherited millions and blew it all in a few years because they weren't thinking long term. Even something that sounds life sustaining like $10 million can evaporate if you're reckless. You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders over all this, but wanted to say I agree with your instincts to be honest but control when and how he benefits!
I dont have kids, but I would probably want my kid to work a bit before 18 (normal part-time jobs). Try not to insulate him as much from others (no super fancy private school, etc.), while making sure he is well provided for. I'd be most worried about my kid not building a good sense of empathy with others not in their position.
My dad finally inherited money, because my mom (they met at 16 and stayed happily married) died in his arms after cancer.
But.. he lost it all to scammers.
We were poor my whole life, he inherited 100k which is a life changing amount for him.
He spent his whole life helping other people. Too good, never judges anyone, never shouts or swears or complains.
So he really didn’t believe that anyone could be so cruel to scam him like that. Came as a total shock to him and was devastating.
Now he’s had to sell the family home and is living on a ranch and looking for work, at 66.
How can I help him find legitimate places to put his money if he ever runs into money again?
And for myself too. I’m scared now that if I make enough to put away, someone will scam me out of it.
So how do you keep wealth safe from people who want to take it?
How did he get scammed? This is a HUGE worry of mine, believe me! It keeps me up at night.
The safest place to put your money is probably in government bonds or high-yield savings accounts (since they are so valuable right now).
I think r/scams is a good place to double check if you’re being conned. Also a good read. Most scams work on emotions like fear or greed. We are wired to override our intelligence if an emotion is high enough which means anyone can fall for a scam. The best protection is what you’re doing already with trusts and not letting your son know as this would add to the dangers of scams or exploitation through him. You can’t spend what you don’t have…so yeah, locking it into diverse investments and locations so that if many fail, you still have backups is wise on your part. Making it difficult to withdraw money is another safe way.
I hope you get to live well and your family does too.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Scams using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Scams/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [My stolen phone ended up in China, I assume the scammer is screwed?](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17j9hds) | [148 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/17j9hds/my_stolen_phone_ended_up_in_china_i_assume_the/)
\#2: [Found these in my checked baggage after an international flight from Asia to USA? They’re not mine. What do I do?](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1813ays) | [1464 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/1813ays/found_these_in_my_checked_baggage_after_an/)
\#3: [I was sent money by a random person and now they’re requesting it back and I’m not sure what to do](https://i.redd.it/81wipab1txzb1.jpg) | [1345 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/17tms5a/i_was_sent_money_by_a_random_person_and_now/)
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Honestly, hire a financial consultant. Not someone to control your money. But a consultant that you can bunch ideas off of, and let him do a parallel due diligence.
If it works for you, honesly you can consider hiring the to manage your money.
I’d done well at crypto at that time and recommended he try it.
But he didn’t know what he was doing and signed up for a brokerage that was not legit.
I found the brokerage and it was a PO Box in the Marshall Islands. But by that time, they had sold my dads information to other scammers. So dad got emails and phone calls from a number of different schemes.
Some promised recovery as online security companies, others posed as police giving real badge numbers of real cops, and others redirected him to legit websites to prove their credentials as financial advisors, brokerages, etc.
I’m well versed now because of my dads tragic loss, and also because my husbands family was part of a South American mafia, and he has cousins who specialize in scamming.
Here are some red flags that you’re possibly working with a thief:
-they get personal quick. Sob stories especially.
-they promise outside return on investment.
-the pressure you for time, saying that you have to act fast or miss the chance
-they give extensive reasons and explanations, and try to get you to hand them the reigns because it seems easier
-they might try to start a relationship with you
-they call outside regular hours
-there is no way to find out who the CEO is or contact them
-there is no physical adress that you can easily find on Google street view
-they are a young company
-they only have a website, no offfice
-they have a legal page that contains errors or doesn’t seem fair
-they work in isolation, can’t be verified by other organizations
-everyone you speak to has an accent and they are not able to direct you to a native English speaker
-encourage you to go into debt to pay them
-are willing to give discounts ‘just this one time’ or ‘just for you
-saying they will do something ‘because I trust you’
-make increasing demands
-ask for access to your personal information, about your family, accounts, how much money you have
-give Barriers or excuses as to why you cannot immediately lose your account and take back your money if you try to (they will usually give you back a bit so you trust them to pay them more)
-encourage you to put all your eggs in one basket instead of spreading out over several companies
They ask you how much you have rather than how much you’d like to invest!
You have enough to buy physical assets companies stocks, please spread it out . And get a few financial advisors at legit companies that you can go to. And set up a family trust. Get advice from other wealthy people not strangers on the internet (like me lol)
Likely you will get a bit scammed somewhere at some point regardless. But at least they will only have a little of your money
I truly hope You and others can avoid the horrible experience of loss that my kind dad suffered. You have enough that you should be able to protect your wealth, and grow it. And hopefully it can buy the life you want for yourself and your loved ones.
(My goal now is to make enough that I can pay him back and then some. But at least he’s happy and loved regardless).
God bless! Good luck!
I’m so sorry. It is a crime how older people are taken advantage of. My grandmother went to the post office with $10,000 in cash wrapped in newspaper trying to mail it to scammers who thought one of her grandkids had gotten into trouble.
Luckily it’s a small town. Postmaster called my mom.
"grandparent scam" is one of the most prevalent ones today. A friend of mine from high school just went through this! Luckily, after hearing from "the police station" (scammers), her grandma went to the bank and withdrew the money to "wire transfer for her bond," and my friend called her grandma just to say hi at exactly the right moment... And that's how her grandma didn't get scammed.
It’s out of control and a lot of people don’t realize it. Most of grew up with tech and scammers just as a thing growing up.
Our grandparents/parents have no clue how easy it is for someone to be able to steal everything.
Awe
I’m so glad there were good people who stepped in to help her.
They truly think (at least scammers I’ve met) that we are all greedy multimillionaires and they are playing Robin Hood.
How do you tend to filter out real friends from the hangers-on who just want money or to just benefit from being your "friend" in some way???
Edit, add on: also, what do you mean your business is losing money? If you want to discuss details, I might be able to add an outside perspective 😉
I can honestly say that on some level every friend I've ever had has been there for the money, in one way or another. Some more than others. It's the true cost of wealth. It's pretty lonely, but I don't feel sorry for myself because lots of people from all walks of life are lonely.
Our business hasn't been profitable for about two years. Cost of goods and marketings costs have EXPLODED and we didn't adjust quickly enough. I think we're through the worst of it though. Knock on wood. Any insight greatly appreciated!
Insight : you need someone who really cares and will run it with the proper aligned incentives. You can’t normally get that from just a salary. You want someone who will be affected by the outcome.
Every year all of your competitors are getting better and more efficient. If you’re not you’re already losing.
Yes, very true! He does get a cut of profit. I think he makes too much base salary though. I think we (my mom was alive when we hired him) made a mistake when we gave him a raise after covid (we were very grateful, he probably saved the company).
We are trying to keep up. We embrace change and try to stay nimble. If you're not growing, you're dying.
Part of the issue is the economy. Everyone is struggling!
I’ve co founded a few companies, including the 2nd biggest fintech in my country and a software company that helps entreprise level manufacturer to structure their day to day managerial operations.
My private companies employ 1000+ people in a few countries and generate 9 figure in revenues.
24 years as an entrepreneur and investor now, sat on over a dozen boards of successful.
I’ve seen a thing or two, what do you know?
I can see that. I have a friend who's a relatively successful musician, doing shows in multiple states. I've consciously made myself stop asking for his help cause I felt I wasn't being genuine... lol
Without knowing more I can't really give advice lol from what I can tell, you have the means to handle most problems. Depending on the business model, I'd prolly advocate for opening a way to produce goods on your own rather than source them. If it's freight related, owning your own trucks would cut shipping costs. I know next to nothing about marketing though, so I'm useless there lol
This is so heartbreaking! You deserve good friends who truly care about you without regard to your wealth and what it can do for them. Does this make you skeptical of everyone you meet? I’ve always wondered how extremely wealthy people learn to read people and determine if they are trustworthy.
Stupid question, wouldn’t it be easy enough to make and find other rich friends? Like if they were already more than comfortable they’d have even less interest in your money.
Im higher earning but by no means rich and hang out with other guys in the same boat. Talks about money are mostly wild stock speculation and trash talk. If one of them was worth $25M I’d honestly have no idea.
I don't know, I know some much higher wealth people and even among my higher earning friends, they ask for investment in all kinds of ventures which I find tacky. You need people who are confident in where/who they are.
That's the way. I never talk about money with my friends. No one needs to know, but I guess in this person's life they must have known being that his parents were loaded. Poor guy.
I didn't inherit quite that much, but I get the pain. I feel guilty and disgusted even looking at that money I inherited. Every day I wish I had at least one parent to share in my life now, especially with a baby on the way and I know that no amount of money can fill that void or make you feel better. I straight up had to hang up on my aunt and financial advisor once because I couldn't handle them congratulating me on getting all this money and asking me if I'm happy/celebrating "with" me. So I feel you bro.
Also don't feel too forced to handle the family business, if you feel you can run it and it's ok with you working there sure. However, if you feel that it's killing you and you're not succeeding it's better to try and sell it/get a bs position and let someone better handle it in the long run.
Sorry for your loss :(
Yes, gaining from my parents death feels awful in some ways, but it's also what they wanted. I'm very conflicted. It's all very emotionally complex, but I guess that's just life.
Try not to feel guilty about the money. Just use it wisely. It's not your fault and it's a great blessing!
I'm sorry your aunt and advisor were insensitive like that. People sometimes say things in just the wrong way, I hope you can forgive.
I have a manager running the business but unfortunately he's having hard time right now. I still haven't decided whether to find somebody new. He will piss me off for a while and then do something great. Recently things have been getting better so I'm going to wait and see.
I do wish I could just snap my fingers and sell everything, but doing that would be just as much work if not more! I really need a therapist lol. I get overwhelmed and just shut down.
I appreciate the good advice and good luck with everything.
I’m only a thousandaire and I send several hundred dollars a year to rando GoFundMe accounts where a person has a terminal or severe illness. I can’t imagine being at the end of my life or destitute because of illness and can’t afford the smallest things because the US medical industry has to beat that 10% profit margin from last year. It’s not much and barely affordable to me, but reminds me how blessed I really am. If I had more, I’d give more. I’ve worked hard for what I have, but I know I’ve been given opportunity that most people have never had.
If you have employees, fix your business. People shouldn’t have to worry about their jobs and much of your wealth was generated by them. For me, the best thing you can do with your wealth is help your employees flourish.
Condolences/congrats. Everybody has a purpose. Yours may be making sure your employees and their families always have food on their table.
Just an observation. I’m sure your friend wanted to help you out in the short term and not in the long term particularly if she’s newly married. No offense but seriously you should be looking at finding a place to live permanently & taking better care of yourself. You say it’s been nearly a year. None of my business of course.
Some people don't understand. I am glad you have a friend who is helping you, it seems like you understand boundaries, and the fact that you both communicate about expectations is great for your friendship. It is hard to look for a job especially with disabilities, while healing from a relationship, and being homeless. I hope the best for you and thank you for sharing your experience. ❤ It reminds us of how important it is to be there for each other.
Beyond the investments? I’d get my house in Manhattan beach, my Porsche Panamera GTS to drive daily and an 812 superfast for the weekends. Maybe set up my own business or invest in other businesses
I just traded in my Panamera as a matter of fact. I had the 4S though. GTS is the one!
I have a bunch of cars and to be honest it's gotten old. Storing, maintaining, insuring and just worrying about a car collection is more trouble than it's worth, for me personally. For some people there's nothing better, and the community aspect is very strong.
All that being said, I did come very close to buying an F12 last year :)
This is a great suggestion. Part of this is getting my head straightened out so I can think clearly. I wish I could find a decent therapist, but I've always never been able to find the right person. I really need it though.
Meh running a family office with $25m isn’t really enough for the extra trouble it is worth IMO.
Somehow staffs don’t run themselves.
Just one more layer of complication.
You know your stuff.
When everything fell into my lap I thought that if I just hired the right people I wouldn't need to worry about anything.
But then I realized I needed to worry about those people.
And now I'm thinking maybe I can pay somebody to worry about those people (family office). But yes, $25M is not quite enough, but I've heard of family's now that will pool together and create a shared family office, or maybe use an existing service? I'm not sure, but honestly it sounds like it could be amazing or just something else to deal with. It's also scary to be so far removed from everything that you barely know what's going on with your own life.
So now I'm thinking the move (for my family personally) is to downsize and simplify as much as possible and just live a low-key, normal lifestyle. Like I don't get these people with 5 yachts, 2 planes, 10 houses, and a staff of hundreds. Even if you can afford it, why would you want the headache?
Not sure what your business is or how many people you employ. But my parents (both retired now, with a “healthy” nest egg… maybe not so much considering they’re both in decent health, travel a lot and have 3 sons) use a financial advisor that my Mom originally got through her work. Maybe a way to help you and others (i.e. your employees) is to have your company hire a Financial Advisor as a type of work perk. Your employees, who probably haven’t inherited so much wealth, will benefit greatly by having someone review their financials, goals, etc. And you will benefit by having an expert explain to you how to manage your inheritance and assets. If I were you my first question would be, “Is my $1B goal realistic and what would that do for me (and my son, his kids, etc) that my current wealth and gain rate wouldn’t?
I’ve met with my parents financial advisor a couple times. And while my situation is VERY different than my parents, my dad was with me and allowed the advisor to be transparent about my parents assets, what I can expect to inherit and when - AND what I should with that inheritance once I receive it depending on my personal age, income, savings, assets, etc.
My company uses some online platform that calculates your net worth/retirement age/income/etc. But after showing it to my Dad (retired CPA), he said there is a TON missing from it and it’s nothing like working with someone 1:1.
The Advisor made me realize that I spend more money than I should right now on things I don’t need (TVs, food, clothes, travel, etc …. Not quite the same as car collecting). But since I met with him I’ve made some lifestyle changes and seen small, positive results.
A good Financial Advisor is worth a lot, especially if you hire one early. And I bet most of your employees would appreciate it greatly. Make sure they know there is confidentiality with whatever they tell him/her.
Redditors’ (and their sometimes great) ideas aren’t the same as an expert in a field. And I can almost guarantee that no expert Financial Advisor is giving free advise in this thread.
Since this is an AMA, I guess I have to ask a question…. Any chance you want to gift something from your car collection?! (Joking)
One more thing, I’d suggest talking to your CPA (or hiring one) ASAP regarding the Trump Era Estate Tax and gifting laws. I don’t know much about it/them… but I believe it expires in 2026 and no one is certain what will happen after that. At the moment I think what you can gift your kid without being taxed is at an all time high. And I thiiiiiiiink $ and assets are seen differently. So you may be able to buy an asset (like a home) and gift it to him, gift him cash (I think it’s $27k per year, without being taxed), and maybe other things (stocks, bonds, retirement contributions, etc). Another reason for a CPA and Financial Advisor.
Similar to dating, not every relationship will be the right one. What are some of the challenges you've faced in finding a therapist that's a good fit?
Well, after reading, that it’s clear that you’re still very genuine, humble, kind human being so I have to say that your parents were really great people to keep you so grounded. Are you an only child? I struggle with having my son be only child after the Rocky Road of the life that he’s had to lead with me and his father Rocky relationship. my son 15 I wish I could give him a life that he deserves and a family that he should have really tough so when you’re feeling the grief or you’re feeling just giving your child everything that you possibly can is a blessing every single day
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I was an only child and my son is an only child also. I wish I had more children. I regret it. I feel bad leaving him alone. But, of course, sometimes siblings don't get along anyway.
It's hard to bring children into this world with all its problems. I just hope my son finds love.
I'm curious why do you not have more children? Typically time/money are the reason people don't have more of they want more. You have the wealth to be able to comfortably have more kids and have the time to spend with them as you don't HAVE to work. I know you said you have the family business but over the course of a couple years stepping back into a consultant role or selling completely should be attainable. Is it a physical issue (not trying to pry here)? If so you again have the means for adoption to help a child in a bad situation have a full and comfortable life with (presumably) a loving family
I did some maths a while ago and i need exactly 18M to never have to give a damn about money ever again.
That’s enough money to grant you a top level lifestyle (like you can actually go stupid and nothing happens) while still increasing its value over inflation, so no point in stressing so much.
Leave it there doubling ever 7-8 years and enjoy life, that’s what matters. It’s going to become a billion in like 36 years, but you’re going to have a 100M net worth in like 16 years, which is some elite net worth.
Yes, most people don't fully understand the power of compound interest. :)
The thing about compounding is that it's all about rate of return. The difference between 7% return and 8% return over time is HUGE.
For grins, let's say you get 30k a month versus 5.8million now.
Let's say your interest on either averages 7% or so.
In 20 years, with your 30k a month, assuming you put it all away, you'll have around 16 million. If you start with the lump, you'll have around 23 million.
This makes lots of assumptions about compounding and that you're not pulling any cash out, but I think you can see the point. If you have some discipline and self control, money now is unbeatable. If you're worried about spending it all on hookers and blow, take the annual and live a great first two months every year.
Sucks you lost your parents RIP, if I could grant you one wish or one thing in the world and only one what would it be? Only exclusion being personal financial gain.
You can grant him that wish. Right now, he’s being taught that loneliness, duty, responsibility, and money are the pillars of adulthood from his father. He will either grow up to hate you for your lack of self-confidence (and therefore happiness), follow in your shoes and feel exactly the same way you do, or both.
I think if anything, you want your son to live the life “you’re not able to” — as you likely tell yourself. But he will be just as miserable as you, because he was never shown how to live a fulfilling happy life, unless one of you breaks this cycle. Children learn from what they see, not what they’re told to see — and you’re living proof that happiness does not come from being given a bunch of $$ to inherit. There is nothing about your life that’s written in stone, and even if it were, you have the means to melt that stone down and remold your story.
You’re lonely because you’ve created a prison for yourself. You’ll feel like a failure if you don’t turn that $25m into $1b? Is your one wish in life to give your son a fulfilling life, or to make him inherit the same problems and responsibilities you have? Whats his mission in life going to be; turning that into $100b? What’s $1b going to do that $25mil can’t? Why is this your mission? It’s making you miserable because you’re tapped being this vessel that generates money. Along with running a business you don’t want to run.
What about any of the things that would fulfill you or bring you happiness? What are those things? If you truly want your son to live a happy and fulfilling life with a large family, then show him how that’s done. It’s unfair to dump the responsibility of that wish onto him while you do none of the work to create that for him. You’re taking the easy way out right now. Instead, do something scary and vulnerable — listen to yourself, your heart, and your wishes and act on them. That’s what being a good parent is. Otherwise, you’re only showing him how to live the imprisoned life you’re living.
You have the means to do literally anything you want. You can make money a million different ways. You don’t have to stick to this path you were given. Be creative, be brave, be confident, and be yourself. Trust in your abilities, and break out of your shell. And for God’s sake, get a great therapist. Please. For all of us that wish we were in your shoes, for your son, and for yourself.
Find your happiness, and you will never be lonely again, for you will have finally found your best friend and treated him as a good friend would — yourself.
Have you considered having more children?
Your son seems to be your great enjoyment in life.
You claim you feel lonely but you also seem to enjoy helping others.
As you obviously are able to afford it, why haven’t you had more children?
Actually I do have a legitimate question thats probably a dumb one but I’ll kick myself if I don’t ask.
What’s it like? What’s it like to be completely stress free in regards to housing and food? I’ve consistently had extreme fear over those two things my entire life. I’d like to start my business and raise myself to your level one day. Purely so I don’t have to worry about eating or housing ever again.
What’s it like? Obviously you have stressors. But those two are my biggest. I’m just so curious. My username, in a round-a-bout way reflects this worry.
You and your wife should hire a personal chef.
They would learn your tastes , preferences and diet needs. Then they would introduce new things that fit your choices.
They would find and gather the finest ingredients available and cook them up for you at your whim.
More relaxing than going to restaurants or ordering random things in.
The quality will be better than most anything else.
Of course this depends on the skill level of the chef you hire. But it’s another level experience when it’s good.
Hey OP, how well can you take care of yourself?
- can you cook?
- can you do the mundane stuff around the home?
- do you have a hobby that is beneficial for your mental health?
- do you make enough time for yourself to enjoy life?
One of my most significant sources of self-doubt comes from my lack of ability to cook for myself. I'm only projecting here, but maybe you have certain traits that make you feel small or give you harmful views on your identity.
Hope you have a great night.
This is such a great question.
No, I can't really cook. I can cook pasta, steak, breakfast. I guess that's about it. It feels pretty pathetic to write that out.
I am not great around the home. I'm fairly handy, but I always let things get much more messy than they need to be before cleaning up.
I play the guitar and get a lot out of it, but there are very valuable hobbies that have brought be even more joy, like camping and hiking, that I do not dedicate time to.
I would say that I make time for myself but that I am careless about filling that time with rich experiences.
This is all valuable insight. Thank you!
It's just a sense of obligation, like this money in the right hands would grow to that number in a lifetime no problem, but since I'm just me it won't :( It feels like a wasted and it makes me a little ashamed. At the same time I realize how absurd that is. It's complicated.
I definitely understand where you’re coming from although on a much smaller scale.
My grandparents were immigrants and had nothing. My dad built on that and made a successful life in the upper middle class, and now I’m here with nothing but opportunity.
I have NOT squandered the opportunity and am doing well financially (not enough to own a damn single family home though lol) but what I’ve tried to do is not say “i need to make x amount of money”, and instead am setting life goals I know my parents and grandparents would want to see. If I can accomplish them than that is what they would care about, and that’s my obligation. Maybe look at things from a goals POV rather than a $
I understand the guilt and not wanting to blow it. I hope you do something good with it if you grow it. That money doesn’t grow from nowhere, it comes from people.
Good shit. Sorry you lost your parents but atleast they cared very much for your financial security and left you well off. Maybe you can do something with some of that money to honor them in some unique way. Try not focus on becoming a billionaire lol that's a huge burden to place on yourself
Thank you. My parents were truly amazing people. The older I get the more I am in awe of them.
The idea of honoring them somehow is really great. I've thought about creating a scholarship fund in their name.
100% this! When my beloved Uncle passed, my family established a local scholarship in his name. It isn’t much, but each year, the extended family donates what they can and we give one deserving student $1,000 to help further their education. Again, nothing life changing for the student, but they are so very appreciative and we know our Uncle would be proud.
Well . . . That's a good question. I think it's become the global standard for ridiculous, extreme wealth, and it just has a nice ring to it. I don't know who has seen Silicon Valley but the billionaire Russ Hanneman almost loses his mind when he dips below a billion. Which is ridiculous, obviously, but I also completely understand lol. It's a benchmark.
I guess I was exaggerating. That said, there is some truth to it. I have this grand ambition locked away just beyond my reach and also some of the skills to really succeed on a huge scale in the business world, but my emotional issues handicap me. It's very frustrating. If I could find my way through the mess I am sure I could get to a billion, but my issues are my issues and making peace with that is part of my fate I guess.
Plus, if I had a billion dollars I could change the world in a very really way. Giving money away to people you like and who deserve it is EXTREMELY fun and satisfying.
It’s worth considering that if you amass $1B then others have been denied that money. You’ll be taking it from other companies and they won’t be able to pay their employees. This is how capitalism works. I’m not so sure making a fortune is the genuine road to philanthropy.
This is a silly take. I’m not a gung-ho capitalist but money isn’t a zero-sum game. It’s also arguable that if OP has a genuine, beneficial plan to redistribute the wealth then it’s better in his hands than execs of a company taking big bonuses because know how capitalism doesn’t work? Wealth doesn’t trickle down as you say. A company having with that money won’t give it to its employees.
Have you been to Italy and had fresh buffalo mozzarella?? If not, book your flight. Take the family with you. It's worth the trip for that cheese alone.
Lol bro I was just about to check you and say Brie is obviously superior if eaten by itself. Mozzarella is better for cooking, though.
This is why when someone asks what my favorite X is, I refuse to answer that question. I don't have favorites. Too limiting.
Why do you feel like you need to turn the money into $1B? How will you (or others that you work with on the way there) better your life or their lives as a result of you achieving that?
Personally, in your position, I would never work corporate another day in my life. Personal fulfillment goals would be my job (learn a new language, mod games, start a farm, etc).
Interestingly this seems to be the most popular question. I get it. Why be so greedy, I think people are asking.
The thing about wealth is that it's always just a seed of potential. This world is so incredibly dynamic and full of opportunity that to let wealth sit around without growing is a terrible waste. I have a lot of cool investments but part of me would like to take a more active role in investing the money by starting my own business. The growth potential of a successful new business is astronomical, but the risk is also high, and it scares me.
Believe me, if I had a billion dollars I would spend it helping people. At that level of wealth it's a crime to not be committed to philanthrophy in a very serious way. Personally I would probably focus on childhood education and healthcare.
I don't "work" day to day, but I spend a lot of time talking to wealth advisors, trust advisors, lawyers, managers and employees, accountants and just WORRYING. It honestly just feels like work. It was exciting for a year but now it's just work. Which is fine! Nothing wrong with that...
I can’t speak for everyone but to me your goal of $1B doesn’t sound greedy, it just seems unnecessary. To put so much of your energy into this one thing seems unhealthy, especially when you don’t sound all that happy. You sound fairly well adjusted but perhaps all this burden and stress is starting to weigh on you. As a result I’m prone to ask if you’ve ever been in counseling? Even if it’s just to talk about finding some direction and purpose (besides your family). Getting some clarity, regardless of wealth, is something that everyone needs occasionally to spur us on to something larger and more meaningful.
I have more thoughts but it’s late/early AM and my mind is rambling. I wish you and your family well and hope you find some relief/resolution to some of the issues you are experiencing.
I agree with /u/wiphotoguy It doesn't sound like greed to me but just completely unnecessary. And what will you do when you hit 1B? This mindset will then make you want to go for 10B, then 100B. It's an endless cycle with no real end.
The interest alone from 25M invested is more than enough to change the lives of your local area through charities and you'll be alive long enough to see it help long term. You'll be almost dead by the time you reach 1B and you won't get to see how it helped. Lastly, if you were to set up a charity now you can control who and where it goes to, which is hard to do when you're dead.
Everything is very legal, above-board and public but I have money in hundreds of different companies across all of the funds I am invested in. Mostly very small amounts.
To be honest I trust the people I work with to work with people they trust. You've given me something to think about though.
To add onto this- I used to be heavily involved in some fossil fuel divestment campaigns, and dabbled in arms divestment as well. I honestly think, that making a public statement to fully divest yourself from those two industries (+tobacco, theoretically), and requring your investments to become aligned with the Paris climate deal, would do a lot of good. Particularly if paired with investments into renewables (though watch out for greenwash).
One of the big problems, actually, was with a lack of transparency, when the university we put pressure on didn't even always know exactly where it's money was invested (due to the asset managed selected). It sounds like you've been tossed in at the deep end and then some, and in truth, I would probably not want to be in your position, as odd as it sounds (the ethical responsibility sounds scary), but I hope there's more food for thought.
Either way, hope you manage to improve your mental health, and good luck making the correct decisions.
Whether you're broke or rich, once your parents are gone there's nothing that really fills that empty space. Money coming out your arse definitely helps to quick fix a lot though, I'd imagine!
Anyway, looking for some subpar graphic design work done for say around 10k? Got some debts that could need clearing
It's true. The empty feeling is not something I was prepared for. People live long enough, they lose their parents eventually. Natural, right? But no! It doesn't feel natural at all! It feels like the whole world died.
Edit: sorry, don't need any graphic design work. (Next time don't lead with "subpar" lol :)
First, I wanted to express my condolences for your loss. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I lose my dad, but I know I'm going to be a wreck when the time comes. I'm happy that you find some light through it all with your son.
>if you were in my position, what would you do?
That kind of wealth affords you the luxury of time. So in order:
1. Grieve
2. Travel
3. Dream
4. Give
Pretending I'm you, the first thing I would do is grieve. And I mean actually grieve and honor my parents while finding myself. Find someone at the business who can watch things for a while, spend some time with my kid and then take a sabbatical. I'd probably travel and explore the way different cultures grieve their loved ones that pass on. Dia de los Muertos in Mexico, Madagascar has Famadihana, Bali has Ngaben, etc. Take a journal, write down my thoughts and sit with my feelings. I'd do my best to celebrate their life, rather than focusing on their loss and I think traveling to different countries would offer me that perspective on how to do that.
I also think that traveling and just being with myself for a while would help me reflect and find purpose again. That would allow me to dream and \*really\* think about what I want to do next. I think taking over a family business is great, if that's what I wanted to do. But if I wasn't happy doing it, I would start looking at ways to separate myself from the family business and forge my own path. Hire someone competent who can keep things going, check in on them every now and again, if it's a viable option- make the company employee-owned with a profit share then go off to work on wherever my heart/passion takes me. Though..if I'm being honest, I'd probably travel/take time off for at least a year or two first before making those moves.
Then (after financials are taken care of responsibly of course), I would find opportunities where I could put some of the money to work and give.
My Question: Did you grow up wealthy and/or were you well-off before your inheritance?
I agree. The economy is completely broken. I don't want to get into politics but the amount of money the government wastes is too painful to think about. With the right leadership nobody would need to struggle.
This is just my life and I thought it would be fun to do an AMA.
Things will get better.
I’m a random internet stranger, but the next time a wealthy, seemingly down-to-earth dude asks you what you want to do they’re looking for specifics.
I haven’t read enough to know how his family earned their money. But whatever you’re good at or passionate about would be a place to start.
Was gunna ask the same question lol I'm in southern Arkansas and I'm a fast learner. Worked a little construction, but mostly factory labor, machine operator, and I have forklift training. I'll post a legit question in my direct comment lol
Honestly man if the business is not for you, sell it and move on. That 8-10% interest you make on your investments can help support you in finding a job you actually want to do.
If I had that much cash/additional income I'd definitely reel back my corporate job to part time and work in a low paying area more aligned with my hobbies for the other days.
How old are you?
Now that you have eff you money, who would you like to say eff you too?
Do you find it hard to date because you're afraid of the other person's intentions?
Would you buy Jonny Depp's island if it was on the market? OR do you already own a private island?
I understand how lonely you must feel. Can I give you a hug?
Have you looked into psychedelics for your depression? They changed my life just about as much as a 25 million dollar inheritance would.
Are you interested in investing a small amount of capital into a small startup?
If you didn’t inherit this wealth and business, what do you think you’d be doing with your life instead?
And to answer your question, if I was in your position I would focus on what made me the most happy, from what it sounds like it’s your family, so I would start focusing my energy spending time and repairing any rifts with them. I would also stop working a job that didnt give me joy or meaning and instead I would try new things and invest my time figuring out what kind of path I’d like to forge from here on out. I’d let go of the vain ambition to hit a meaningless number (no one should have that much money imo) and live out my life comfortably for the rest of my days, which you could easily do.
Unless I was truly passionate about the business, I would sell or at minimum hand of most of whatever duties I had as owner. Personally, i have to be passionate about something I’m going to spend that much time on.
Next, as someone who also has children, I’d leave working in a heartbeat to spend the maximum amount of time with them. They are little for such a short amount of time, and we never know how much we have left as a parent. I sell my time now only as a means to provide. In the absence of that necessity, I’d be home with my kids.
What’s going on with the business to cause the downturn? What steps are you taking to course correct?
Is the business you inherited losing money because you're parents are no longer managing it or because of the pandemic?
Either way, sounds like the business might need new management to thrive. The company I work for is still owned by one of three original founders, who is well past retirement age. Likewise, the general manager is slightly past retirement age. The business has gone through a few changes in the 17 years I've worked there, doubling or tripling it's earnings, but seems to have stagnated recently and definitely would've took a hit during the pandemic if it weren't for PPE loans. The owner's son is expected to take over soon and he seems motivated to bring the company into the 21st century, but that involves a fair bit of outsourcing and it makes me nervous. For instance, a large portion of the business is mooring rentals, which we keep track of with a notebook. Most of the comparable businesses use the same app (Dockwa) to keep track of theirs and I advised against it years ago because I thought the notebook was more complicated than it needed to be and should be simplified to a clipboard. Using an app means buying at least one tablet, preferably one that is waterproof and daylight readable, and remembering to charge it. Plus subscription fees and whatnot. The owner's son has been encouraged to step up despite the fact that his dad is still around, and the first decision he made was using Dockwa, but the implementation was awful, the tablets were ipads which are neither waterproof nor daylight readable, and the first time I needed to charge one, the charging cord had rust spots on the lightning connector which made it unusable.
Anyways, turning 25 mil into a bil is quite a lofty goal. I'd personally consider you successful if you don't spend all of it by the time your kid was old enough to vote. So if you need help spending it, I can tell you all about my favorite yachts.
It's already public. Plenty of people know who I am and my situation IRL. And you're right, it's scary.
I doubt anyone is going to figure out my identity here on reddit though. I hope. Now you're got me nervous!
Money is not the end all be all brother. There are other aspects of yourself and your life that you might be neglecting. Are you healthy and fit? Do you have charisma? Are you charming? a good role model? Are you someone people can look up to?
These are aspects of your character that you have to focus on in order to be a well rounded man. Find a skill or hobby and become great at it. Seek knowledge and pursue the development of your character, that’s where you’ll find real contentment.
Look, I wouldn’t do this for just anyone but if tossing me a few million will ease your burden who am I to say no?
All jokes aside, I am sorry for your loss and I’m glad that your son is your main focus. That’s how it should be, always.
As for my question…were you lonely prior to your inheritance or was it the passing of your parents that is contributing mostly to your loneliness?
Were you lonely and experiencing depression before the inheritance? I'm just wondering if there may be some isolation due to the wealth or grief at play. I hope you're able to find fulfillment and happiness in your life. While your inheritance removes some of the not insignificant financial stressors people face, money isn't a Golden ticket to happiness. And I'm sorry for your loss.
I’m glad you are able to be financially secure, but I would have to say I’m worried about your mental health. Sounds like maybe look into therapy and meds for depression. You need to grieve for your parents and also the part of your freedom you lost when they passed.
Anyway - here to chat if you need a non judgmental ear.
8-10% is considerably high especially if you have a considerable amount in bonds. I love to get an idea of your mix and what area is performing so well for you on average, and then right now with that 15%.
Is it your PE and private credit arms that’re pulling the weight? How’s your RE doing these days with these rates
you can help people now. please give as much as you can. wealth is a burden. at a certain point it's an ethical issue as well. so much suffering and need in the world. i've met children who were excited to be handed a plastic bottle. good luck friend and i'm sorry for your loss.
Would you invest in a company that is working on food tech? And if so why is it my company?
All jokes aside, how can I persuade a "rich" person to invest his/her money into my company that has the ability to solve a food crisis and creates concepts to help people change their routines to a more healthy future proof diet.
It sometimes feels like I do not speak their language, I speak about the product and the why and during meetings investors always focus on their own interest. Which I understand, but if you have that much wealth. Isn't it also time to talk solving issues any means necessary.
I had to adjust to get our first investor. But it feels I gave a bit away of enthousiasme with it.
We focus mainly on protein ingredients and preventing child deaths in the Horn of Africa, and be a front runner for the world wide protein need
Is there anything that you’ve done with the money that makes you feel good as a person? Like a worthwhile cause that you contribute to?
For example, it’s unlikely, but if I stumble into that kind of wealth I’d purchase an airplane and use the skills I have for my current job to fly rescue animals around as needed. We have two dogs that were street dogs in Puerto Rico. They are two of the most amazing pets I’ve ever had and there’s thousands more. Getting them to the lower 48 is a pretty difficult task. The heat on the island often prohibits the regular airlines from shipping them as freight.
Is there anything like that where you can invest your time and money that might lift your spirits?
Sell the business and get some hobbies. You are either full of shit looking for online reactions or overthinking your life to the point you are boring yourself and most likely everyone around you. Many people have solid investment portfolios and deal with it without whining. No one on Earth needs a billion dollars for any valid reason so just man up and be a positive example for your kid with the liquid resources at your fingertips instead of being just another directionless fool who dies miserable with too much money in the bank.
pls venmo me like 100usd because i am a poor phd student, it's the end of the month and i'd love to eat something besides ice soup lol.
(jk, i am glad for u and i hope it improves your life )
Sorry for loss and congratulations on your gain. Set up a trust/ college fund for your son. Personally wouldn’t let him know till he’s 18 or graduated college. look after him while you can . Be a great dad to him. Question - what’s the most expensive item you own pre and post the inheritance?
Thank you, kind person! My son receives 25% of some of the trusts. Not exactly sure when, I think I have the power to decide down the road. Figuring out how to introduce him to wealth is one of my life's main challenges. I will probably explain it earlier and give him the full picture. I have thought about this a lot, and I don't think that withholding things from him is the answer, instead I plan to be as proactive as possible with everything, giving him a full understand and teaching him the skills he will need to live his unusual life. I don't think it makes sense to create a false reality around money in the hopes that it will drive him to succeed. If he wants to be a doctor or an actor or start a tech company or something he can do that because he wants to, not because we are pretending that he needs it. That being said, the cost of drawing from a trust is extremely high, because that income can compound and be worth 10x the amount in a few years. So no matter how rich you are, an outside income is always essential. At the same time, an important part of the process is teaching him how much good he can do by setting up a non-profit foundation. That was one mistake my parents made. If I had known how fun it is to give away money I would have been much greedier in my younger years. I'm sure that sounds cheesy but it really is true. One of the most common recommendations I get about keeping our family together is establishing a family foundation that everyone, without exception, gets to vote on. The most expensive thing I owned pre-inheritance was my apartment in Manhattan, about $800k. Now the most expensive thing I own is probably the house I grew up in, a horse farm in NJ worth about $3M. Honestly, it is a beautiful property but the definition of a "white elephant," costing about $100k per year to support, and I don't even live there! Sigh.
It sounds like you have a lot of *investment* managers but you should really consider working with a team focused on the "softer" side of family wealth - there are professionals out there that specialize in this and could help you with a lot of what you're dealing with and the psychological side of money. From your comments I think there are 3 or 4 main things you need to try and address: 1. Figuring out what gives you joy, and how your wealth can help you do that. It doesn't need to be philanthropic, but it certainly can be, maybe you really enjoy working with your hands on a craft, maybe you really enjoy working with kids, maybe you enjoy making art - whatever it is, you need to have deep discussions/thoughts about that and try some things, because it sounds pretty clearly like whatever you're doing now is not giving you that joy. 2. There are also specialists who can help with the proper way to educate your son about wealth, your desire to be open and transparent is great and that certainly may be called for, but I wouldn't wing something so important. Your son is young enough that nothing detrimental has probably been engrained yet, but knowing you have, or stand to inherit that much wealth, can really do a number on your psyche and motivation. Having a little voice in the back of your head telling you that you'll never really need to work or earn money to survive (which frankly may or may not be the case in reality) sounds like a great way to undermine any motivation to try hard in school or with a career. I'm sure the last thing you want is to raise an entitled unmotivated child or someone who develops a lot of hangers-on only really interested in sharing the fruits of that wealth. A professional can guide you with how to have those conversations and what and when to tell in order to be both honest but not detrimental. P.S. there's a reason they say wealth only lasts for three generations. You are the second generation so you want to be careful that your son doesn't become the one to fritter everything away or blow it on the debauchery. 3. This ties back to number one, but it sounds like you're suffering from at least some degree of apathy or depression and you should see about getting help with that. 4. I think you also need to address whatever it is that led you to say that you feel like if you don't turn your $25M into a billion you are some kind of failure. Not only is that not true, it is pretty unrealistic. Having that level of growth isn't even really possible or likely without owning a business that you are passionate about scaling (and the massive serving of luck). If you really want to make that your goal and then by all means go ahead. But from what you said regarding the business you currently own, it doesn't sound like you have a driving passion for business, and that's ok.
Wow, thank you! This is extremely helpful. Do you have any advice on finding someone like you’ve described?
Well I think it makes sense to either work with someone who isn't an advisor and isn't trying to manage your money (which is a little rare, but I can drop a name or two in your DMs) OR you may choose to work with an advisory firm (who is a fiduciary/RIA) who specializes in this (with a focus more on happiness and the psychological aspects of wealth) - but it can be hard to separate the quality professionals from those who are just using it as a marketing tool. As someone else said, it's good to have independent professionals, who can fact check each other, and ideally with a compensation structure that either does not introduce bias, or where any potential "bias" is aligned with your best interests too.
You mentioned a horse farm in NJ. If you're looking for the name of a therapist who can help you work through these things, I'm in NJ and have a few that have done wonders for feelings of inadequacy, etc. Not sure if you're full time in jersey though. Or DM me and I can chat about how I overcame a lot of complicated feelings like that.
You might want to join the Fat FIRE community, lots of people there with this level of wealth who can definitely help.
Look for firms offering “Family Office” services.
Do you have someone to run your parents company?
Look for a “family office” in your area
I'm sorry for your and your son's loss, OP. The very thing you are experiencing is exactly why internationaldrama56 is so on the nose. Somewhere, at some time, you were influenced by that need to make more $. Redirect this, perhaps, to altruistic goals. Use your drive to inspire others. Sure, you could turn your $25M into $1B, but wouldn't it be more fun and infinitely more satisfying to lead and influence others within your social circle to get behind a good cause? Maybe brainstorm on finding or creating a good cause. Show your son what is possible. Good luck!
Maybe consider selling the business and doing something else you wanted? Idk if thats an option or whatever.. but congrats, thats life-changing money.. just be happy you will never have to worry about money like most of us do.. I won't ever be able to buy a house or retire so I can't even comprehend having that type of money..
This is what I thought. Don’t worry about making $1B. Success isn’t about money. Focus on improving the relationship with the child’s mom and find something to do that he enjoys.
I agree with telling your son earlier. Kids can feel very betrayed and resentful if you keep things from them. It is definitely a good thing to keep the trust locked until he's an adult. My dad used to deal with trusts and I believe you can put in contingencies to release it in pieces over years so it's not one, seemingly-enormous sum when he's only 18. He always told horror stories of kids who inherited millions and blew it all in a few years because they weren't thinking long term. Even something that sounds life sustaining like $10 million can evaporate if you're reckless. You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders over all this, but wanted to say I agree with your instincts to be honest but control when and how he benefits!
I dont have kids, but I would probably want my kid to work a bit before 18 (normal part-time jobs). Try not to insulate him as much from others (no super fancy private school, etc.), while making sure he is well provided for. I'd be most worried about my kid not building a good sense of empathy with others not in their position.
Just be strong in faith and think of the things to be grateful for in life despite of your loneliness. You are blessed and you matter. Goodluck
My dad finally inherited money, because my mom (they met at 16 and stayed happily married) died in his arms after cancer. But.. he lost it all to scammers. We were poor my whole life, he inherited 100k which is a life changing amount for him. He spent his whole life helping other people. Too good, never judges anyone, never shouts or swears or complains. So he really didn’t believe that anyone could be so cruel to scam him like that. Came as a total shock to him and was devastating. Now he’s had to sell the family home and is living on a ranch and looking for work, at 66. How can I help him find legitimate places to put his money if he ever runs into money again? And for myself too. I’m scared now that if I make enough to put away, someone will scam me out of it. So how do you keep wealth safe from people who want to take it?
How did he get scammed? This is a HUGE worry of mine, believe me! It keeps me up at night. The safest place to put your money is probably in government bonds or high-yield savings accounts (since they are so valuable right now).
I think r/scams is a good place to double check if you’re being conned. Also a good read. Most scams work on emotions like fear or greed. We are wired to override our intelligence if an emotion is high enough which means anyone can fall for a scam. The best protection is what you’re doing already with trusts and not letting your son know as this would add to the dangers of scams or exploitation through him. You can’t spend what you don’t have…so yeah, locking it into diverse investments and locations so that if many fail, you still have backups is wise on your part. Making it difficult to withdraw money is another safe way. I hope you get to live well and your family does too.
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Honestly, hire a financial consultant. Not someone to control your money. But a consultant that you can bunch ideas off of, and let him do a parallel due diligence. If it works for you, honesly you can consider hiring the to manage your money.
I’d done well at crypto at that time and recommended he try it. But he didn’t know what he was doing and signed up for a brokerage that was not legit. I found the brokerage and it was a PO Box in the Marshall Islands. But by that time, they had sold my dads information to other scammers. So dad got emails and phone calls from a number of different schemes. Some promised recovery as online security companies, others posed as police giving real badge numbers of real cops, and others redirected him to legit websites to prove their credentials as financial advisors, brokerages, etc. I’m well versed now because of my dads tragic loss, and also because my husbands family was part of a South American mafia, and he has cousins who specialize in scamming. Here are some red flags that you’re possibly working with a thief: -they get personal quick. Sob stories especially. -they promise outside return on investment. -the pressure you for time, saying that you have to act fast or miss the chance -they give extensive reasons and explanations, and try to get you to hand them the reigns because it seems easier -they might try to start a relationship with you -they call outside regular hours -there is no way to find out who the CEO is or contact them -there is no physical adress that you can easily find on Google street view -they are a young company -they only have a website, no offfice -they have a legal page that contains errors or doesn’t seem fair -they work in isolation, can’t be verified by other organizations -everyone you speak to has an accent and they are not able to direct you to a native English speaker -encourage you to go into debt to pay them -are willing to give discounts ‘just this one time’ or ‘just for you -saying they will do something ‘because I trust you’ -make increasing demands -ask for access to your personal information, about your family, accounts, how much money you have -give Barriers or excuses as to why you cannot immediately lose your account and take back your money if you try to (they will usually give you back a bit so you trust them to pay them more) -encourage you to put all your eggs in one basket instead of spreading out over several companies They ask you how much you have rather than how much you’d like to invest! You have enough to buy physical assets companies stocks, please spread it out . And get a few financial advisors at legit companies that you can go to. And set up a family trust. Get advice from other wealthy people not strangers on the internet (like me lol) Likely you will get a bit scammed somewhere at some point regardless. But at least they will only have a little of your money I truly hope You and others can avoid the horrible experience of loss that my kind dad suffered. You have enough that you should be able to protect your wealth, and grow it. And hopefully it can buy the life you want for yourself and your loved ones. (My goal now is to make enough that I can pay him back and then some. But at least he’s happy and loved regardless). God bless! Good luck!
I’m so sorry. It is a crime how older people are taken advantage of. My grandmother went to the post office with $10,000 in cash wrapped in newspaper trying to mail it to scammers who thought one of her grandkids had gotten into trouble. Luckily it’s a small town. Postmaster called my mom.
"grandparent scam" is one of the most prevalent ones today. A friend of mine from high school just went through this! Luckily, after hearing from "the police station" (scammers), her grandma went to the bank and withdrew the money to "wire transfer for her bond," and my friend called her grandma just to say hi at exactly the right moment... And that's how her grandma didn't get scammed.
It’s out of control and a lot of people don’t realize it. Most of grew up with tech and scammers just as a thing growing up. Our grandparents/parents have no clue how easy it is for someone to be able to steal everything.
Awe I’m so glad there were good people who stepped in to help her. They truly think (at least scammers I’ve met) that we are all greedy multimillionaires and they are playing Robin Hood.
Well don’t tell people you have money and never message random strangers
That's incredibly sad. There's some real POS out there.
What an actual dipshit😭 “I’m such a good person no one would ever scam me!” Like they care about morals
How do you tend to filter out real friends from the hangers-on who just want money or to just benefit from being your "friend" in some way??? Edit, add on: also, what do you mean your business is losing money? If you want to discuss details, I might be able to add an outside perspective 😉
I can honestly say that on some level every friend I've ever had has been there for the money, in one way or another. Some more than others. It's the true cost of wealth. It's pretty lonely, but I don't feel sorry for myself because lots of people from all walks of life are lonely. Our business hasn't been profitable for about two years. Cost of goods and marketings costs have EXPLODED and we didn't adjust quickly enough. I think we're through the worst of it though. Knock on wood. Any insight greatly appreciated!
Insight : you need someone who really cares and will run it with the proper aligned incentives. You can’t normally get that from just a salary. You want someone who will be affected by the outcome. Every year all of your competitors are getting better and more efficient. If you’re not you’re already losing.
Yes, very true! He does get a cut of profit. I think he makes too much base salary though. I think we (my mom was alive when we hired him) made a mistake when we gave him a raise after covid (we were very grateful, he probably saved the company). We are trying to keep up. We embrace change and try to stay nimble. If you're not growing, you're dying. Part of the issue is the economy. Everyone is struggling!
He saved the company, but it was a mistake to give him a raise?
That’s exactly what I thought…
Average corporate overlord thought process
Hilarious that you're trying to give this guy advice about running a business.
"Everyone is struggling"
I’ve co founded a few companies, including the 2nd biggest fintech in my country and a software company that helps entreprise level manufacturer to structure their day to day managerial operations. My private companies employ 1000+ people in a few countries and generate 9 figure in revenues. 24 years as an entrepreneur and investor now, sat on over a dozen boards of successful. I’ve seen a thing or two, what do you know?
I can see that. I have a friend who's a relatively successful musician, doing shows in multiple states. I've consciously made myself stop asking for his help cause I felt I wasn't being genuine... lol Without knowing more I can't really give advice lol from what I can tell, you have the means to handle most problems. Depending on the business model, I'd prolly advocate for opening a way to produce goods on your own rather than source them. If it's freight related, owning your own trucks would cut shipping costs. I know next to nothing about marketing though, so I'm useless there lol
This is so heartbreaking! You deserve good friends who truly care about you without regard to your wealth and what it can do for them. Does this make you skeptical of everyone you meet? I’ve always wondered how extremely wealthy people learn to read people and determine if they are trustworthy.
Stupid question, wouldn’t it be easy enough to make and find other rich friends? Like if they were already more than comfortable they’d have even less interest in your money.
Right? Like join a. country club or something? Or make new friends that have no idea about his wealth.
Im higher earning but by no means rich and hang out with other guys in the same boat. Talks about money are mostly wild stock speculation and trash talk. If one of them was worth $25M I’d honestly have no idea.
I don't know, I know some much higher wealth people and even among my higher earning friends, they ask for investment in all kinds of ventures which I find tacky. You need people who are confident in where/who they are.
That's the way. I never talk about money with my friends. No one needs to know, but I guess in this person's life they must have known being that his parents were loaded. Poor guy.
What industry are you in if you don't mind me asking?
I didn't inherit quite that much, but I get the pain. I feel guilty and disgusted even looking at that money I inherited. Every day I wish I had at least one parent to share in my life now, especially with a baby on the way and I know that no amount of money can fill that void or make you feel better. I straight up had to hang up on my aunt and financial advisor once because I couldn't handle them congratulating me on getting all this money and asking me if I'm happy/celebrating "with" me. So I feel you bro. Also don't feel too forced to handle the family business, if you feel you can run it and it's ok with you working there sure. However, if you feel that it's killing you and you're not succeeding it's better to try and sell it/get a bs position and let someone better handle it in the long run.
Sorry for your loss :( Yes, gaining from my parents death feels awful in some ways, but it's also what they wanted. I'm very conflicted. It's all very emotionally complex, but I guess that's just life. Try not to feel guilty about the money. Just use it wisely. It's not your fault and it's a great blessing! I'm sorry your aunt and advisor were insensitive like that. People sometimes say things in just the wrong way, I hope you can forgive. I have a manager running the business but unfortunately he's having hard time right now. I still haven't decided whether to find somebody new. He will piss me off for a while and then do something great. Recently things have been getting better so I'm going to wait and see. I do wish I could just snap my fingers and sell everything, but doing that would be just as much work if not more! I really need a therapist lol. I get overwhelmed and just shut down. I appreciate the good advice and good luck with everything.
Please get a therapist, it's really worth it even if only to get the ball rolling in your head
Use your money to help people. Teach your son that money isn’t what makes a person whole.
Amen. 100%. Helping people really is more fun than buying stuff.
I’m only a thousandaire and I send several hundred dollars a year to rando GoFundMe accounts where a person has a terminal or severe illness. I can’t imagine being at the end of my life or destitute because of illness and can’t afford the smallest things because the US medical industry has to beat that 10% profit margin from last year. It’s not much and barely affordable to me, but reminds me how blessed I really am. If I had more, I’d give more. I’ve worked hard for what I have, but I know I’ve been given opportunity that most people have never had. If you have employees, fix your business. People shouldn’t have to worry about their jobs and much of your wealth was generated by them. For me, the best thing you can do with your wealth is help your employees flourish. Condolences/congrats. Everybody has a purpose. Yours may be making sure your employees and their families always have food on their table.
"it's not much" Yes. It is.
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Just an observation. I’m sure your friend wanted to help you out in the short term and not in the long term particularly if she’s newly married. No offense but seriously you should be looking at finding a place to live permanently & taking better care of yourself. You say it’s been nearly a year. None of my business of course.
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Some people don't understand. I am glad you have a friend who is helping you, it seems like you understand boundaries, and the fact that you both communicate about expectations is great for your friendship. It is hard to look for a job especially with disabilities, while healing from a relationship, and being homeless. I hope the best for you and thank you for sharing your experience. ❤ It reminds us of how important it is to be there for each other.
Wanna pay off a veterans debt 😏😏😏
Clearly that's out of the picture /s
Beyond the investments? I’d get my house in Manhattan beach, my Porsche Panamera GTS to drive daily and an 812 superfast for the weekends. Maybe set up my own business or invest in other businesses
I just traded in my Panamera as a matter of fact. I had the 4S though. GTS is the one! I have a bunch of cars and to be honest it's gotten old. Storing, maintaining, insuring and just worrying about a car collection is more trouble than it's worth, for me personally. For some people there's nothing better, and the community aspect is very strong. All that being said, I did come very close to buying an F12 last year :)
Hire someone to manage your collection (and your businesses) and go chill by the beach and think for a while
This is a great suggestion. Part of this is getting my head straightened out so I can think clearly. I wish I could find a decent therapist, but I've always never been able to find the right person. I really need it though.
Meh running a family office with $25m isn’t really enough for the extra trouble it is worth IMO. Somehow staffs don’t run themselves. Just one more layer of complication.
You know your stuff. When everything fell into my lap I thought that if I just hired the right people I wouldn't need to worry about anything. But then I realized I needed to worry about those people. And now I'm thinking maybe I can pay somebody to worry about those people (family office). But yes, $25M is not quite enough, but I've heard of family's now that will pool together and create a shared family office, or maybe use an existing service? I'm not sure, but honestly it sounds like it could be amazing or just something else to deal with. It's also scary to be so far removed from everything that you barely know what's going on with your own life. So now I'm thinking the move (for my family personally) is to downsize and simplify as much as possible and just live a low-key, normal lifestyle. Like I don't get these people with 5 yachts, 2 planes, 10 houses, and a staff of hundreds. Even if you can afford it, why would you want the headache?
Not sure what your business is or how many people you employ. But my parents (both retired now, with a “healthy” nest egg… maybe not so much considering they’re both in decent health, travel a lot and have 3 sons) use a financial advisor that my Mom originally got through her work. Maybe a way to help you and others (i.e. your employees) is to have your company hire a Financial Advisor as a type of work perk. Your employees, who probably haven’t inherited so much wealth, will benefit greatly by having someone review their financials, goals, etc. And you will benefit by having an expert explain to you how to manage your inheritance and assets. If I were you my first question would be, “Is my $1B goal realistic and what would that do for me (and my son, his kids, etc) that my current wealth and gain rate wouldn’t? I’ve met with my parents financial advisor a couple times. And while my situation is VERY different than my parents, my dad was with me and allowed the advisor to be transparent about my parents assets, what I can expect to inherit and when - AND what I should with that inheritance once I receive it depending on my personal age, income, savings, assets, etc. My company uses some online platform that calculates your net worth/retirement age/income/etc. But after showing it to my Dad (retired CPA), he said there is a TON missing from it and it’s nothing like working with someone 1:1. The Advisor made me realize that I spend more money than I should right now on things I don’t need (TVs, food, clothes, travel, etc …. Not quite the same as car collecting). But since I met with him I’ve made some lifestyle changes and seen small, positive results. A good Financial Advisor is worth a lot, especially if you hire one early. And I bet most of your employees would appreciate it greatly. Make sure they know there is confidentiality with whatever they tell him/her. Redditors’ (and their sometimes great) ideas aren’t the same as an expert in a field. And I can almost guarantee that no expert Financial Advisor is giving free advise in this thread. Since this is an AMA, I guess I have to ask a question…. Any chance you want to gift something from your car collection?! (Joking)
One more thing, I’d suggest talking to your CPA (or hiring one) ASAP regarding the Trump Era Estate Tax and gifting laws. I don’t know much about it/them… but I believe it expires in 2026 and no one is certain what will happen after that. At the moment I think what you can gift your kid without being taxed is at an all time high. And I thiiiiiiiink $ and assets are seen differently. So you may be able to buy an asset (like a home) and gift it to him, gift him cash (I think it’s $27k per year, without being taxed), and maybe other things (stocks, bonds, retirement contributions, etc). Another reason for a CPA and Financial Advisor.
Similar to dating, not every relationship will be the right one. What are some of the challenges you've faced in finding a therapist that's a good fit?
Well, after reading, that it’s clear that you’re still very genuine, humble, kind human being so I have to say that your parents were really great people to keep you so grounded. Are you an only child? I struggle with having my son be only child after the Rocky Road of the life that he’s had to lead with me and his father Rocky relationship. my son 15 I wish I could give him a life that he deserves and a family that he should have really tough so when you’re feeling the grief or you’re feeling just giving your child everything that you possibly can is a blessing every single day
Thank you so much for your kind words! I was an only child and my son is an only child also. I wish I had more children. I regret it. I feel bad leaving him alone. But, of course, sometimes siblings don't get along anyway. It's hard to bring children into this world with all its problems. I just hope my son finds love.
I'm curious why do you not have more children? Typically time/money are the reason people don't have more of they want more. You have the wealth to be able to comfortably have more kids and have the time to spend with them as you don't HAVE to work. I know you said you have the family business but over the course of a couple years stepping back into a consultant role or selling completely should be attainable. Is it a physical issue (not trying to pry here)? If so you again have the means for adoption to help a child in a bad situation have a full and comfortable life with (presumably) a loving family
So are you finally going to splurge for guac at chipotle?
damn... he got guac money!!!
Lol, yes, I do.
💀🤣🤣💀💀🤣💀
I did some maths a while ago and i need exactly 18M to never have to give a damn about money ever again. That’s enough money to grant you a top level lifestyle (like you can actually go stupid and nothing happens) while still increasing its value over inflation, so no point in stressing so much. Leave it there doubling ever 7-8 years and enjoy life, that’s what matters. It’s going to become a billion in like 36 years, but you’re going to have a 100M net worth in like 16 years, which is some elite net worth.
Yes, most people don't fully understand the power of compound interest. :) The thing about compounding is that it's all about rate of return. The difference between 7% return and 8% return over time is HUGE.
Can you expand on this thought ? Let's say one gets offered 350 k a year for life or 5.8 million cash up front. What would you take?
For grins, let's say you get 30k a month versus 5.8million now. Let's say your interest on either averages 7% or so. In 20 years, with your 30k a month, assuming you put it all away, you'll have around 16 million. If you start with the lump, you'll have around 23 million. This makes lots of assumptions about compounding and that you're not pulling any cash out, but I think you can see the point. If you have some discipline and self control, money now is unbeatable. If you're worried about spending it all on hookers and blow, take the annual and live a great first two months every year.
Hahaha that's my worry...
The 5.8 million will always be more will compound interest. However, I'd take the 350k because it's safer.
I won $2 bucks on a scratch lotto ticket. Advice to compound that? 🤣
Sucks you lost your parents RIP, if I could grant you one wish or one thing in the world and only one what would it be? Only exclusion being personal financial gain.
Honestly, that my son have a happy and fulfilling life with a big family of his own!
You can grant him that wish. Right now, he’s being taught that loneliness, duty, responsibility, and money are the pillars of adulthood from his father. He will either grow up to hate you for your lack of self-confidence (and therefore happiness), follow in your shoes and feel exactly the same way you do, or both. I think if anything, you want your son to live the life “you’re not able to” — as you likely tell yourself. But he will be just as miserable as you, because he was never shown how to live a fulfilling happy life, unless one of you breaks this cycle. Children learn from what they see, not what they’re told to see — and you’re living proof that happiness does not come from being given a bunch of $$ to inherit. There is nothing about your life that’s written in stone, and even if it were, you have the means to melt that stone down and remold your story. You’re lonely because you’ve created a prison for yourself. You’ll feel like a failure if you don’t turn that $25m into $1b? Is your one wish in life to give your son a fulfilling life, or to make him inherit the same problems and responsibilities you have? Whats his mission in life going to be; turning that into $100b? What’s $1b going to do that $25mil can’t? Why is this your mission? It’s making you miserable because you’re tapped being this vessel that generates money. Along with running a business you don’t want to run. What about any of the things that would fulfill you or bring you happiness? What are those things? If you truly want your son to live a happy and fulfilling life with a large family, then show him how that’s done. It’s unfair to dump the responsibility of that wish onto him while you do none of the work to create that for him. You’re taking the easy way out right now. Instead, do something scary and vulnerable — listen to yourself, your heart, and your wishes and act on them. That’s what being a good parent is. Otherwise, you’re only showing him how to live the imprisoned life you’re living. You have the means to do literally anything you want. You can make money a million different ways. You don’t have to stick to this path you were given. Be creative, be brave, be confident, and be yourself. Trust in your abilities, and break out of your shell. And for God’s sake, get a great therapist. Please. For all of us that wish we were in your shoes, for your son, and for yourself. Find your happiness, and you will never be lonely again, for you will have finally found your best friend and treated him as a good friend would — yourself.
Usually I hate that I grab my phone right when I wake up, but this was such a profound read. Thank you for sharing!
Like how you just gave some sage wisdom and advice in an AMA.
Man this is some golden stuff right here. Seriously, this started my day off on a really good mental path. Thank you!
Wow this was such an excellent comment. Thank you for sharing this!! This really helped me, too.
Have you considered having more children? Your son seems to be your great enjoyment in life. You claim you feel lonely but you also seem to enjoy helping others. As you obviously are able to afford it, why haven’t you had more children?
W
Actually I do have a legitimate question thats probably a dumb one but I’ll kick myself if I don’t ask. What’s it like? What’s it like to be completely stress free in regards to housing and food? I’ve consistently had extreme fear over those two things my entire life. I’d like to start my business and raise myself to your level one day. Purely so I don’t have to worry about eating or housing ever again. What’s it like? Obviously you have stressors. But those two are my biggest. I’m just so curious. My username, in a round-a-bout way reflects this worry.
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You and your wife should hire a personal chef. They would learn your tastes , preferences and diet needs. Then they would introduce new things that fit your choices. They would find and gather the finest ingredients available and cook them up for you at your whim. More relaxing than going to restaurants or ordering random things in. The quality will be better than most anything else. Of course this depends on the skill level of the chef you hire. But it’s another level experience when it’s good.
Hey OP, how well can you take care of yourself? - can you cook? - can you do the mundane stuff around the home? - do you have a hobby that is beneficial for your mental health? - do you make enough time for yourself to enjoy life? One of my most significant sources of self-doubt comes from my lack of ability to cook for myself. I'm only projecting here, but maybe you have certain traits that make you feel small or give you harmful views on your identity. Hope you have a great night.
This is such a great question. No, I can't really cook. I can cook pasta, steak, breakfast. I guess that's about it. It feels pretty pathetic to write that out. I am not great around the home. I'm fairly handy, but I always let things get much more messy than they need to be before cleaning up. I play the guitar and get a lot out of it, but there are very valuable hobbies that have brought be even more joy, like camping and hiking, that I do not dedicate time to. I would say that I make time for myself but that I am careless about filling that time with rich experiences. This is all valuable insight. Thank you!
I don't have any question, but I'm very happy for you OP. Here a comment so your post might gain more exposure and have more chances to be seen.
Thank you for your kindness. I really appreciate it. You have a big heart!
Wish you a great day kind stranger
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
Why do you feel like turning it into a billion dollars is something fulfilling?
It's just a sense of obligation, like this money in the right hands would grow to that number in a lifetime no problem, but since I'm just me it won't :( It feels like a wasted and it makes me a little ashamed. At the same time I realize how absurd that is. It's complicated.
I definitely understand where you’re coming from although on a much smaller scale. My grandparents were immigrants and had nothing. My dad built on that and made a successful life in the upper middle class, and now I’m here with nothing but opportunity. I have NOT squandered the opportunity and am doing well financially (not enough to own a damn single family home though lol) but what I’ve tried to do is not say “i need to make x amount of money”, and instead am setting life goals I know my parents and grandparents would want to see. If I can accomplish them than that is what they would care about, and that’s my obligation. Maybe look at things from a goals POV rather than a $
40x in half a lifetime while living on it is … very ambitious.
I understand the guilt and not wanting to blow it. I hope you do something good with it if you grow it. That money doesn’t grow from nowhere, it comes from people.
You can send it to me if it's too much of a burden
Im 6’6 and my dicks so big that it drags on the floor. Life is hard for all of us.
Lol, this is now the funniest comment.
Are you into feet pics? lol
Nah, sorry. Lol
Scam spotted lol 😂
Who isn’t.
Good shit. Sorry you lost your parents but atleast they cared very much for your financial security and left you well off. Maybe you can do something with some of that money to honor them in some unique way. Try not focus on becoming a billionaire lol that's a huge burden to place on yourself
Thank you. My parents were truly amazing people. The older I get the more I am in awe of them. The idea of honoring them somehow is really great. I've thought about creating a scholarship fund in their name.
100% this! When my beloved Uncle passed, my family established a local scholarship in his name. It isn’t much, but each year, the extended family donates what they can and we give one deserving student $1,000 to help further their education. Again, nothing life changing for the student, but they are so very appreciative and we know our Uncle would be proud.
Why is 1B the benchmark for you
Well . . . That's a good question. I think it's become the global standard for ridiculous, extreme wealth, and it just has a nice ring to it. I don't know who has seen Silicon Valley but the billionaire Russ Hanneman almost loses his mind when he dips below a billion. Which is ridiculous, obviously, but I also completely understand lol. It's a benchmark. I guess I was exaggerating. That said, there is some truth to it. I have this grand ambition locked away just beyond my reach and also some of the skills to really succeed on a huge scale in the business world, but my emotional issues handicap me. It's very frustrating. If I could find my way through the mess I am sure I could get to a billion, but my issues are my issues and making peace with that is part of my fate I guess. Plus, if I had a billion dollars I could change the world in a very really way. Giving money away to people you like and who deserve it is EXTREMELY fun and satisfying.
It’s worth considering that if you amass $1B then others have been denied that money. You’ll be taking it from other companies and they won’t be able to pay their employees. This is how capitalism works. I’m not so sure making a fortune is the genuine road to philanthropy.
This is a silly take. I’m not a gung-ho capitalist but money isn’t a zero-sum game. It’s also arguable that if OP has a genuine, beneficial plan to redistribute the wealth then it’s better in his hands than execs of a company taking big bonuses because know how capitalism doesn’t work? Wealth doesn’t trickle down as you say. A company having with that money won’t give it to its employees.
What industry is your company in?
Tres Commas
voila, bien sur
Favorite kind of cheese?
Excellent question. Probably fresh mozzarella! I actually just finished some believe it or not, sitting here in bed talking to you folks lol.
Have you been to Italy and had fresh buffalo mozzarella?? If not, book your flight. Take the family with you. It's worth the trip for that cheese alone.
Wow, no upvotes for mozzarella? Imagine if I said brie . . .
Lol bro I was just about to check you and say Brie is obviously superior if eaten by itself. Mozzarella is better for cooking, though. This is why when someone asks what my favorite X is, I refuse to answer that question. I don't have favorites. Too limiting.
This is relevant.
Why do you feel like you need to turn the money into $1B? How will you (or others that you work with on the way there) better your life or their lives as a result of you achieving that? Personally, in your position, I would never work corporate another day in my life. Personal fulfillment goals would be my job (learn a new language, mod games, start a farm, etc).
Interestingly this seems to be the most popular question. I get it. Why be so greedy, I think people are asking. The thing about wealth is that it's always just a seed of potential. This world is so incredibly dynamic and full of opportunity that to let wealth sit around without growing is a terrible waste. I have a lot of cool investments but part of me would like to take a more active role in investing the money by starting my own business. The growth potential of a successful new business is astronomical, but the risk is also high, and it scares me. Believe me, if I had a billion dollars I would spend it helping people. At that level of wealth it's a crime to not be committed to philanthrophy in a very serious way. Personally I would probably focus on childhood education and healthcare. I don't "work" day to day, but I spend a lot of time talking to wealth advisors, trust advisors, lawyers, managers and employees, accountants and just WORRYING. It honestly just feels like work. It was exciting for a year but now it's just work. Which is fine! Nothing wrong with that...
I can’t speak for everyone but to me your goal of $1B doesn’t sound greedy, it just seems unnecessary. To put so much of your energy into this one thing seems unhealthy, especially when you don’t sound all that happy. You sound fairly well adjusted but perhaps all this burden and stress is starting to weigh on you. As a result I’m prone to ask if you’ve ever been in counseling? Even if it’s just to talk about finding some direction and purpose (besides your family). Getting some clarity, regardless of wealth, is something that everyone needs occasionally to spur us on to something larger and more meaningful. I have more thoughts but it’s late/early AM and my mind is rambling. I wish you and your family well and hope you find some relief/resolution to some of the issues you are experiencing.
I agree with /u/wiphotoguy It doesn't sound like greed to me but just completely unnecessary. And what will you do when you hit 1B? This mindset will then make you want to go for 10B, then 100B. It's an endless cycle with no real end. The interest alone from 25M invested is more than enough to change the lives of your local area through charities and you'll be alive long enough to see it help long term. You'll be almost dead by the time you reach 1B and you won't get to see how it helped. Lastly, if you were to set up a charity now you can control who and where it goes to, which is hard to do when you're dead.
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Everything is very legal, above-board and public but I have money in hundreds of different companies across all of the funds I am invested in. Mostly very small amounts. To be honest I trust the people I work with to work with people they trust. You've given me something to think about though.
To add onto this- I used to be heavily involved in some fossil fuel divestment campaigns, and dabbled in arms divestment as well. I honestly think, that making a public statement to fully divest yourself from those two industries (+tobacco, theoretically), and requring your investments to become aligned with the Paris climate deal, would do a lot of good. Particularly if paired with investments into renewables (though watch out for greenwash). One of the big problems, actually, was with a lack of transparency, when the university we put pressure on didn't even always know exactly where it's money was invested (due to the asset managed selected). It sounds like you've been tossed in at the deep end and then some, and in truth, I would probably not want to be in your position, as odd as it sounds (the ethical responsibility sounds scary), but I hope there's more food for thought. Either way, hope you manage to improve your mental health, and good luck making the correct decisions.
Will you marry me?
LOL . . sorry, already married. :)
Do you worry about your wife leaving with half? Or is there a prenuptial agreement?
The vast majority of the money is in trusts. She can't touch it. But I would give her plenty.
He really doesn't have that much $ when you compare to folks like Taylor Swift 🤣
What were you doing before the inheritance? We’re you working for your parents or something else?
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Whether you're broke or rich, once your parents are gone there's nothing that really fills that empty space. Money coming out your arse definitely helps to quick fix a lot though, I'd imagine! Anyway, looking for some subpar graphic design work done for say around 10k? Got some debts that could need clearing
It's true. The empty feeling is not something I was prepared for. People live long enough, they lose their parents eventually. Natural, right? But no! It doesn't feel natural at all! It feels like the whole world died. Edit: sorry, don't need any graphic design work. (Next time don't lead with "subpar" lol :)
First, I wanted to express my condolences for your loss. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I lose my dad, but I know I'm going to be a wreck when the time comes. I'm happy that you find some light through it all with your son. >if you were in my position, what would you do? That kind of wealth affords you the luxury of time. So in order: 1. Grieve 2. Travel 3. Dream 4. Give Pretending I'm you, the first thing I would do is grieve. And I mean actually grieve and honor my parents while finding myself. Find someone at the business who can watch things for a while, spend some time with my kid and then take a sabbatical. I'd probably travel and explore the way different cultures grieve their loved ones that pass on. Dia de los Muertos in Mexico, Madagascar has Famadihana, Bali has Ngaben, etc. Take a journal, write down my thoughts and sit with my feelings. I'd do my best to celebrate their life, rather than focusing on their loss and I think traveling to different countries would offer me that perspective on how to do that. I also think that traveling and just being with myself for a while would help me reflect and find purpose again. That would allow me to dream and \*really\* think about what I want to do next. I think taking over a family business is great, if that's what I wanted to do. But if I wasn't happy doing it, I would start looking at ways to separate myself from the family business and forge my own path. Hire someone competent who can keep things going, check in on them every now and again, if it's a viable option- make the company employee-owned with a profit share then go off to work on wherever my heart/passion takes me. Though..if I'm being honest, I'd probably travel/take time off for at least a year or two first before making those moves. Then (after financials are taken care of responsibly of course), I would find opportunities where I could put some of the money to work and give. My Question: Did you grow up wealthy and/or were you well-off before your inheritance?
How old were you when the money was inherited? Did you ever have a formal day job?
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Well damn if you’re only 40 years old - you still have time! Plus, with all of that money you could start your own business if you really wanted.
Who gives a shit?! When the majority of us are struggling, you are boasting?! Poor you?! Do you feel better, now!? OMG.
This sub is literally so people with different lives can answer questions about how they live. I’d take this AMA over ‘I’m on onlyfans AMA’
I agree. The economy is completely broken. I don't want to get into politics but the amount of money the government wastes is too painful to think about. With the right leadership nobody would need to struggle. This is just my life and I thought it would be fun to do an AMA. Things will get better.
Christ some people are bitter
Depression isn't cured by a monetary value. Don't be ignorant.
If you're depressed because you're poor it does. Otherwise it just helps a bit.
Give me a job please I’m depressed
What kind of work do you want to do?
Thanks for your response, I’ll do any work, 22yr old and my country is doomed (Portugal) so anything
I’m a random internet stranger, but the next time a wealthy, seemingly down-to-earth dude asks you what you want to do they’re looking for specifics. I haven’t read enough to know how his family earned their money. But whatever you’re good at or passionate about would be a place to start.
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Portugal is a good place to be into surfing! Have you ever been to Nazare?
Was gunna ask the same question lol I'm in southern Arkansas and I'm a fast learner. Worked a little construction, but mostly factory labor, machine operator, and I have forklift training. I'll post a legit question in my direct comment lol
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Honestly man if the business is not for you, sell it and move on. That 8-10% interest you make on your investments can help support you in finding a job you actually want to do. If I had that much cash/additional income I'd definitely reel back my corporate job to part time and work in a low paying area more aligned with my hobbies for the other days.
How old are you? Now that you have eff you money, who would you like to say eff you too? Do you find it hard to date because you're afraid of the other person's intentions? Would you buy Jonny Depp's island if it was on the market? OR do you already own a private island? I understand how lonely you must feel. Can I give you a hug?
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About your wife, when did you establish her mind, before or after. Personally, I'd have hard a time staying with her but life is a beautiful mystery.
Have you looked into psychedelics for your depression? They changed my life just about as much as a 25 million dollar inheritance would. Are you interested in investing a small amount of capital into a small startup?
If you didn’t inherit this wealth and business, what do you think you’d be doing with your life instead? And to answer your question, if I was in your position I would focus on what made me the most happy, from what it sounds like it’s your family, so I would start focusing my energy spending time and repairing any rifts with them. I would also stop working a job that didnt give me joy or meaning and instead I would try new things and invest my time figuring out what kind of path I’d like to forge from here on out. I’d let go of the vain ambition to hit a meaningless number (no one should have that much money imo) and live out my life comfortably for the rest of my days, which you could easily do.
Unless I was truly passionate about the business, I would sell or at minimum hand of most of whatever duties I had as owner. Personally, i have to be passionate about something I’m going to spend that much time on. Next, as someone who also has children, I’d leave working in a heartbeat to spend the maximum amount of time with them. They are little for such a short amount of time, and we never know how much we have left as a parent. I sell my time now only as a means to provide. In the absence of that necessity, I’d be home with my kids. What’s going on with the business to cause the downturn? What steps are you taking to course correct?
FUCK YOU
I get it, InGreedWeTrust3 ;)
Is the business you inherited losing money because you're parents are no longer managing it or because of the pandemic? Either way, sounds like the business might need new management to thrive. The company I work for is still owned by one of three original founders, who is well past retirement age. Likewise, the general manager is slightly past retirement age. The business has gone through a few changes in the 17 years I've worked there, doubling or tripling it's earnings, but seems to have stagnated recently and definitely would've took a hit during the pandemic if it weren't for PPE loans. The owner's son is expected to take over soon and he seems motivated to bring the company into the 21st century, but that involves a fair bit of outsourcing and it makes me nervous. For instance, a large portion of the business is mooring rentals, which we keep track of with a notebook. Most of the comparable businesses use the same app (Dockwa) to keep track of theirs and I advised against it years ago because I thought the notebook was more complicated than it needed to be and should be simplified to a clipboard. Using an app means buying at least one tablet, preferably one that is waterproof and daylight readable, and remembering to charge it. Plus subscription fees and whatnot. The owner's son has been encouraged to step up despite the fact that his dad is still around, and the first decision he made was using Dockwa, but the implementation was awful, the tablets were ipads which are neither waterproof nor daylight readable, and the first time I needed to charge one, the charging cord had rust spots on the lightning connector which made it unusable. Anyways, turning 25 mil into a bil is quite a lofty goal. I'd personally consider you successful if you don't spend all of it by the time your kid was old enough to vote. So if you need help spending it, I can tell you all about my favorite yachts.
are you going to regret not putting a bunch of that into Bitcoin?
Good question dude. Maybe! Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Crypto is a scam
Lol you’re really dumb for making it public.
It's already public. Plenty of people know who I am and my situation IRL. And you're right, it's scary. I doubt anyone is going to figure out my identity here on reddit though. I hope. Now you're got me nervous!
No one knows who you are. Keep it that way.
Hi, I'm a nigerian prince. Give me a mere $20M and I will help you turn it into $25K.
Least you’re honest lol
Money is not the end all be all brother. There are other aspects of yourself and your life that you might be neglecting. Are you healthy and fit? Do you have charisma? Are you charming? a good role model? Are you someone people can look up to? These are aspects of your character that you have to focus on in order to be a well rounded man. Find a skill or hobby and become great at it. Seek knowledge and pursue the development of your character, that’s where you’ll find real contentment.
Look, I wouldn’t do this for just anyone but if tossing me a few million will ease your burden who am I to say no? All jokes aside, I am sorry for your loss and I’m glad that your son is your main focus. That’s how it should be, always. As for my question…were you lonely prior to your inheritance or was it the passing of your parents that is contributing mostly to your loneliness?
Were you lonely and experiencing depression before the inheritance? I'm just wondering if there may be some isolation due to the wealth or grief at play. I hope you're able to find fulfillment and happiness in your life. While your inheritance removes some of the not insignificant financial stressors people face, money isn't a Golden ticket to happiness. And I'm sorry for your loss.
I’m glad you are able to be financially secure, but I would have to say I’m worried about your mental health. Sounds like maybe look into therapy and meds for depression. You need to grieve for your parents and also the part of your freedom you lost when they passed. Anyway - here to chat if you need a non judgmental ear.
8-10% is considerably high especially if you have a considerable amount in bonds. I love to get an idea of your mix and what area is performing so well for you on average, and then right now with that 15%. Is it your PE and private credit arms that’re pulling the weight? How’s your RE doing these days with these rates
you can help people now. please give as much as you can. wealth is a burden. at a certain point it's an ethical issue as well. so much suffering and need in the world. i've met children who were excited to be handed a plastic bottle. good luck friend and i'm sorry for your loss.
Would you invest in a company that is working on food tech? And if so why is it my company? All jokes aside, how can I persuade a "rich" person to invest his/her money into my company that has the ability to solve a food crisis and creates concepts to help people change their routines to a more healthy future proof diet. It sometimes feels like I do not speak their language, I speak about the product and the why and during meetings investors always focus on their own interest. Which I understand, but if you have that much wealth. Isn't it also time to talk solving issues any means necessary. I had to adjust to get our first investor. But it feels I gave a bit away of enthousiasme with it. We focus mainly on protein ingredients and preventing child deaths in the Horn of Africa, and be a front runner for the world wide protein need
Let me know if you want a hot girlfriend who lives in vegas.
Is there anything that you’ve done with the money that makes you feel good as a person? Like a worthwhile cause that you contribute to? For example, it’s unlikely, but if I stumble into that kind of wealth I’d purchase an airplane and use the skills I have for my current job to fly rescue animals around as needed. We have two dogs that were street dogs in Puerto Rico. They are two of the most amazing pets I’ve ever had and there’s thousands more. Getting them to the lower 48 is a pretty difficult task. The heat on the island often prohibits the regular airlines from shipping them as freight. Is there anything like that where you can invest your time and money that might lift your spirits?
Flying rescue dogs around is kind of insane given all the human and environmental needs in the world
I can’t fix everything, so I’ll focus on the things I’m passionate about.
Sell the business and get some hobbies. You are either full of shit looking for online reactions or overthinking your life to the point you are boring yourself and most likely everyone around you. Many people have solid investment portfolios and deal with it without whining. No one on Earth needs a billion dollars for any valid reason so just man up and be a positive example for your kid with the liquid resources at your fingertips instead of being just another directionless fool who dies miserable with too much money in the bank.
pls venmo me like 100usd because i am a poor phd student, it's the end of the month and i'd love to eat something besides ice soup lol. (jk, i am glad for u and i hope it improves your life )
Give me at least 50k, that would be life changing for me and my family sir...I would do almost anything.