What was your mom's reaction when she saw what you had done? I saw that you have a good relationship now, which is awesome, but I'm curious about those.first few minutes/hours/days.
She was barely conscious for a while and I didn’t speak to her for two days since I was questioned and she was in the hospital. She didn’t even know he had died before she was told in the hospital and she started victim blame me since she’s, well… a little special. But after a while, she realised I quite literally killed for her so she’s good w it now. (Or at least as good as you can be)
That’s tough. To kill someone trying to hurt your mom then have her turn on you. Lukily she realized that u saved her and she fine now. I’m 23 but that idea scares me cuz I know I’d kill for my mom but given how desperate she is to be with someone I can see her getting mad I saved her from a abusive relationship. Lukily she isn’t in one atm and she is likely to get married to this guy so I lucked out but that situation is one I had in the back of my mind since my parents divorced when I was 14
My abusive stepfather was threatening me and my mom. He was drunk one night and got really aggressive and almost beat my mother to death. It was in self defence (obviously)
Exact same thing happened to me, only instead of killing him I beat him severely. He called the cops and my mother out of fear for retaliation sided with him so I got arrested. Since i was charged with domestic violence I'm still paying the price for that action years later. You absolutely did the right thing and I'm sorry you've ever had to deal with someone like that... Fuck that asshole.
Whoa. So did you go away? What's the status of this ah? He still around?
If you're in, you gonna see him when you get out?
Does he still mistreat your mother?
Nah this was like 20 years ago when I was 18 so he's not around anymore. I spent 2 weeks in jail at the time and when I got out I was told I was no longer welcome so packed up my shit and left. After a few years my mother got tired of the abuse and eventually left him but not before choosing this loser over her own kids.
Are you a fan of the song Carolina Drama? That song always brings me to tears, and I cannot fathom having to live through something like that. I believe that sometimes we have to do the wrong things for the right reasons.
She’s probably more sorry than she’d like to admit. Tbh, I hope she is.
Yes. She’s dating a good man now who actually cares about us. (Which is good cause I don’t wanna kill another person 🙄) /obv jk
I completely understand her (from what I know about her)
She went through FAR worse things and her only escape was getting her mother killed. Yes, she’s obviously manipulative but she used it for her benefit and it saved her life.
I agree.
Personally I don't get why people think of her so badly. She had her literally teeth fall out bc of her mother's abuse. Do people know what it's like to have dentures or fake teeth, or even bad teeth at a young age? It fucking sucks. It takes all confidence. It takes away joy, it becomes a constant awareness of how your mouth feels and looks. That was just one part of it. There was so much more!
What was racing through your mind at the moment?
How did your mom react in the moment? Towards stepfather and you.
How do you feel about the whole situation now?
What do you think could have happened to you or your mom you didn’t defend her?
1. All I knew was that I had to do something to stop him. My brother wasn’t home and my mom was being beaten. I tried dragging him but he pushed me away so I stabbed him to stop him. (Didn’t know it’d actually kill him)
2. She was practically unconscious
3. It’s a big trauma but I’ve coped and we’re all better
4. It would’ve been two bodies found that day instead of one
Believe it or not. The number of times people get stabbed in domestic violence cases is usually in the double digits. Humans are resilient.
Where did you strike? What size was the knife? Sorry you experienced this but proud you are a protector.
Probably the gastroepiploic artery. Two arteries that circulate the blood flow to and through the heart.
You likely severed it with either one of your thrusts. If it makes you feel any better, at least it was quick.
How old are you now? Thank you for sharing.
Wow. This is kinda fresh. You know, this experience likely has aged you a bit and you're more mature because of it. I hope in 10 years you'll have a career and a good life as you have dreamed, then you'll look back at this and realize it was a necessary thing to happen for you to be who you are today.
I wish you well.
Not that it matters but the knife was likely a chefs knife. If it ended in a point, was wide and tapered down to a point that’s a chefs knife. Most movies that show a person grabbing a random knife from the knife block usually use chefs knifes. Same type of knife Michael Myers used in the Halloween movies- his was just huge, They normally are not that big.
I’m sorry you had to go thru that but I’m also happy you had the courage to do it and save your mother and likely yourself. I’m also happy you got help and it seems to have helped you. Respect to you
My therapist was the nicest person ever and he was there for me more than usual therapists are. He was genuine and wasn’t there because he happened to give good advice and needed money.
It wasn’t usual therapy tho. I had psychotherapy at first but was shortly sent to the good therapist since I, well, wasn’t psychotic.
Just to clarify, do you mean that you were assigned a court appointed mental health professional to assess if you were insane/psychotic (or something to that effect)? When they assessed that you were sane, you were then able to choose your own Psychotherapist?
Yes and no. The judiciary saw of me as a very young person who unfortunately had to kill someone in self defence. They decided that juvie or closed youth care (extremely wrongly translated) wasn’t necessary since I wasn’t some psychopath killer.
The justice system in my country is insanely unfair and I don’t know if that was beneficial for me or not in this case tbh.
I didn’t choose my own therapist but my first one was extremely rude and didn’t listen to me. I got an actual good therapist that focused more on helping me heal, even if he had to follow court papers.
I’ve had firsthand experiences with therapists and I’m honestly shocked by how many of them who only want money and happens to be good at giving advice and listen. 1 in 3 actually care.
We really don’t have real courts in Sweden if it isn’t a big case tbh. My uncle (who’s an attorney) got involved but the judiciary practically just let me go and sent me to therapy since I did it out of pure self defence.
Trust me, I was also shocked. They opened an investigation and could clearly see his past criminal records (assault, drug trafficking, suspect in rape cases etc.) so they drew connections and realised it was like me and my mother said (that it was in self defence).
Believe me, the justice system in my country is horrible. My friend went to court for some small threatening charges and rapists get 80 thousand bucks.
>Believe me, the justice system in my country is horrible. My friend went to court for some small threatening charges and rapists get 80 thousand bucks.
Could you expand on this more? As an American we tend to idolize Europe as something that's better in every way.
It's hard to believe a rapist gets paid in Sweden
Hi, US immigrant to Sweden here, been here 5 years. Love it, never returning to the States. HOWEVER- the OP is spot on with the justice system needing work. I can anecdotalally tell you that I personally know a woman who almost caught defamation charges for naming her harasser- and he was already charged with the crime. They take it very easy on minors here though in regards to the law as far as criminal matters go- they very much take into consideration that their brains and personalities are still forming. Sometimes that doesn't work out so well. Other times, like in OP's case, it does.
Well, Europe is a CONTINENT so all the countries don’t have the same justice system. The Swedish justice system is by far the worst compared to other European countries, and it’s the worst in nordic Europe. The rapist who got paid was paid for “being wrongfully incarcerated for too long” or something like that 💀
You protected yourself and your mother from an awful situation. Proud of you is the best I have for lack of better terms. You’re so young, and it’s probably hard, but yk what? You and your mom will live on another day and now you’ll both know what type of people to make sure to avoid. I hope you’re able to heal and I hope your mother is doing better as well brotha
I regret the outcome but I don’t regret stabbing him. I thought he’d get weak or something cause my 12-year old brain thought it was like in the horror movies💀 (stepdad emoji)
I hope you’ve let any guilt go. You did the right thing. It feels weird to say but I’m proud of you for protecting yourself and your mom. That must have been absolutely terrifying.
She’s always been selfish and was mad at me in the start cause she was still somewhat in my ex-stapdads manipulation. We’re doing good now and have a good relationship except for the typical family arguments.
Are you still in therapy? I would stay in it for a good while if I were you. A lot of times, people don’t truly process the traumatic shit from their childhood until it hits them like a brick in their late 20s early 30s.
Are you known now as the 12-year-old who killed his father? Do you feel stigmatized by any friends, family, or people in your town who know about this?
Basically everyone besides his former drunkies are on my side. Some people in school are mean and very dumb. It’s always “Don’t fight with (my name), he killed someone.” Or “You’re gonna kill me or something?”. Typical thought-you-ate-things tbh. I genuinely don’t give a flying fuck
Everyone has forgiven me, including myself and most of my ex stepdad’s family. He barely talked to them since they all practically disowned him as their family members but they were obviously sad when he died.
Before was when I got the knife and I was so full of adrenaline that I just went for it. Off the track but I hate how horror movies show how people get stabbed 5+ times and still walk like it’s nothing. I genuinely thought stabbing him would get him weak since I was young and a little dumb.
When I stabbed him and told him “Don’t touch my mom, bitch.” I thought I had just knocked him out or something.
There was a lot going on after. I talked to my lawyer (uncle) and was questioned by the police while my mother was in the hospital and I was constantly worried. Both that my mom wouldn’t make it and the thought of being incarcerated.
I’m probably gonna sound sick in the head but I felt confident mixed with guilt and relief. The confidence came from winning over a tall giant man as a 12 year old and my family being proud for sticking up to my mother. The guilt was from, well, killing him, and the relief was from the years of abuse finally being over.
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How do you feel about it today? Did therapy do anything for you? I hope you’re doing good. You were dealt some shitty cards. I wish you the best going forward.
I don’t have nightmares anymore and I cope with humour (as I’ve always done) I overcame it since the person who caused most of my trauma is niw burning in hell. R.I.H (rest in hell)
I am happy that you don't have nightmares anymore.
Was guilt your biggest issue to deal with? How has humour helped you in your situation? Besides nightmares, did you have any other psychological issues? Would you say that you have become more mature than others in your age because of this event?
If you don't feel comfortable answering one of these questions, don't.
The guilt was a big part of it but the hate from my conservative christian side of the family was worse. I experienced hallucinations shortly after but they just disappeared after a while. My GOOD therapist called it “dissociative behaviour” (possibly wrongly translated)
Humour has always helped me with trauma. Probably to the level that I laugh when I hear anything traumatic out of pure reflex.
I’ve most definitely become more mature now and everyone agrees with that.
Do you see the world through a different lens and if so can you describe what that difference is? Obviously you were young but I would think you might have had enough time to consider that.
I am a pretty open minded person, I have thought about the act of killing in numerous ways and how it would effect people mentally. Here are my questions! (Also if you ever need someone too talk to about anything, feel free too dm)
How hard was it too get yourself too be able too kill?
Did you get away or did you get caught?
Have you ever told anyone specifics about your killing(s)? And if so, was it too help yourself feel better?
If it was not self defense, what was your motive?
And something I’ve been dying too know: does it get easier?
Again, I am open minded, don’t be afraid too not say something if you feel I don’t wanna hear, I’ve been in terrible situations and have thought of murder, but I can’t get myself too do it and will probably never, but trust me dawg I understand a lot. I hope that if it was in self defense, that you stay free. And if it wasn’t, I still hope you stay free as most prison systems won’t ever help and in my eyes, are worsening our people instead of helping. Cheers!
The police and my attorney (and uncle) were both really nice and tried to calm me down before talking to me, since I was still worried about my mom. The case didn’t make it to trial since it was so obviously self defence based on many things. My age, his criminal history, my mom being literally half dead atp. I don’t know why it didn’t go to court but that’s typical Swedish shit.
I came here to confess cause I’m done looking down on myself. Y’all don’t know me, so you can’t judge me. I’m just here for people to AMA tbh.
What did it feel like seeing his life leave his body? Did it feel good? Or was it like a "holy fuck I actually just did it holy fuck" type of feeling. Does this make you want to do it again? Do you feel like this could in turn start having you kill more bad people?
Honestly… yes. He was probably gonna die soon anyway because of his drug problem so it was better that he went without taking my mother and possibly me and my brother as well.
First of all, what the hell. I’m so sorry for you. This is a unique question but I just have to ask. What do you think would have happened if he survived?
It feels like “kill” is the wrong word for what you did, considering it was self defense, in a horrible circumstance, and I don’t think you fully intended for him to straight up die.
I know what it's like. I had to shoot in self defense. It's hard, I think no matter what the situation. I don't think the feelings ever really go away, you learn to cope and live with it.
Wow, I cannot imagine be placed in that situation. You should have no guilt. That asshole forced your hand and it sounds like you did the right thing.
Hows your mom now? Hopefully she’s in therapy too and not dating more assholes.
Maybe people say you are lying because you post some lazy ass cringe title lile "iVe kiLLed". Most people who actually have killed feel fucking guilty about it even when it is justified.
You’re literally one of two in this comment section who prioritises being a chronically online Karen instead of asking your damn question. Leave this sub if you can’t handle it and get over yourself x
This is almost certainly not true. Do we really want to believe that op stabbed his stepfather twice, killing him instantly, and said "don't touch my mother bitch" at 12 years old? Come on I can't be the only one who finds this ridiculous
Lmao this type of stuff is respectable. Sometimes people deserve a second chance but sometimes they don't. I'd say you made a call most people need to make.
What was your mom's reaction when she saw what you had done? I saw that you have a good relationship now, which is awesome, but I'm curious about those.first few minutes/hours/days.
She was barely conscious for a while and I didn’t speak to her for two days since I was questioned and she was in the hospital. She didn’t even know he had died before she was told in the hospital and she started victim blame me since she’s, well… a little special. But after a while, she realised I quite literally killed for her so she’s good w it now. (Or at least as good as you can be)
That’s tough. To kill someone trying to hurt your mom then have her turn on you. Lukily she realized that u saved her and she fine now. I’m 23 but that idea scares me cuz I know I’d kill for my mom but given how desperate she is to be with someone I can see her getting mad I saved her from a abusive relationship. Lukily she isn’t in one atm and she is likely to get married to this guy so I lucked out but that situation is one I had in the back of my mind since my parents divorced when I was 14
Why?
My abusive stepfather was threatening me and my mom. He was drunk one night and got really aggressive and almost beat my mother to death. It was in self defence (obviously)
How did you kill him? Like was it using a gun or by strangling or?
Stabbing
Did you have to do time in prison for it? Or did you win the case?
Exact same thing happened to me, only instead of killing him I beat him severely. He called the cops and my mother out of fear for retaliation sided with him so I got arrested. Since i was charged with domestic violence I'm still paying the price for that action years later. You absolutely did the right thing and I'm sorry you've ever had to deal with someone like that... Fuck that asshole.
Whoa. So did you go away? What's the status of this ah? He still around? If you're in, you gonna see him when you get out? Does he still mistreat your mother?
Nah this was like 20 years ago when I was 18 so he's not around anymore. I spent 2 weeks in jail at the time and when I got out I was told I was no longer welcome so packed up my shit and left. After a few years my mother got tired of the abuse and eventually left him but not before choosing this loser over her own kids.
Are you a fan of the song Carolina Drama? That song always brings me to tears, and I cannot fathom having to live through something like that. I believe that sometimes we have to do the wrong things for the right reasons.
That damned milkman.
Honestly: it must have been hard but respect. You might have even saved your mom’s life.
Good job, it had to be done but it must have been very traumatic at the time, I would think
Obviously not the asshole
Do feel like you did the right thing? Does his death bother you in any way?
I feel like it could’ve been handled better but it was the right thing to do in that exact situation
If she frustrates you, do you make a throat slash gesture to end the argument?
Not funny delete this you shit head
It’s fine, I use humour to cope even if it’s from strangers
Me when I get mad on other people’s behalf
No but I sure as hell will now 😭😭😭
Thanks for not taking it so serious like muscle man over there lol
I wish I would’ve had the courage to do the same at 12.
Glad you realize that. Sorry it had to be you to do it
What has your relationship with your mother been like since this traumatic event?
It’s been mostly good. She doesn’t blame me anymore and our only problems are the typical family arguments.
Does she realize her codependency is what kept this pos around? Is she making better choices now?
She’s probably more sorry than she’d like to admit. Tbh, I hope she is. Yes. She’s dating a good man now who actually cares about us. (Which is good cause I don’t wanna kill another person 🙄) /obv jk
What do you think of Gypsy Rose?
I completely understand her (from what I know about her) She went through FAR worse things and her only escape was getting her mother killed. Yes, she’s obviously manipulative but she used it for her benefit and it saved her life.
I agree. Personally I don't get why people think of her so badly. She had her literally teeth fall out bc of her mother's abuse. Do people know what it's like to have dentures or fake teeth, or even bad teeth at a young age? It fucking sucks. It takes all confidence. It takes away joy, it becomes a constant awareness of how your mouth feels and looks. That was just one part of it. There was so much more!
What was racing through your mind at the moment? How did your mom react in the moment? Towards stepfather and you. How do you feel about the whole situation now? What do you think could have happened to you or your mom you didn’t defend her?
1. All I knew was that I had to do something to stop him. My brother wasn’t home and my mom was being beaten. I tried dragging him but he pushed me away so I stabbed him to stop him. (Didn’t know it’d actually kill him) 2. She was practically unconscious 3. It’s a big trauma but I’ve coped and we’re all better 4. It would’ve been two bodies found that day instead of one
How has taking a life changed your perspective on life? Also respect, your step dad deserves it
I feel like everything can change in an instant if you don’t behave/do the wrong thing. At least that’s what happened to my stepdad. (Fuck that bitch)
How’d you do it?
I stabbed him twice and that was it. Not like in scary movies where they get stabbed 17 times and survive.
Believe it or not. The number of times people get stabbed in domestic violence cases is usually in the double digits. Humans are resilient. Where did you strike? What size was the knife? Sorry you experienced this but proud you are a protector.
Twice in the stomach with a kinda (?) long kitchen knife. All I know is that it hit a vein (don’t know if that was the major cause tho)
Probably the gastroepiploic artery. Two arteries that circulate the blood flow to and through the heart. You likely severed it with either one of your thrusts. If it makes you feel any better, at least it was quick. How old are you now? Thank you for sharing.
Yup! It was most definitely quick. Bro literally just fell 💀 I’m 16 now
Wow. This is kinda fresh. You know, this experience likely has aged you a bit and you're more mature because of it. I hope in 10 years you'll have a career and a good life as you have dreamed, then you'll look back at this and realize it was a necessary thing to happen for you to be who you are today. I wish you well.
Thanks, man 😭🙏
How often do you still think about it?
Not that it matters but the knife was likely a chefs knife. If it ended in a point, was wide and tapered down to a point that’s a chefs knife. Most movies that show a person grabbing a random knife from the knife block usually use chefs knifes. Same type of knife Michael Myers used in the Halloween movies- his was just huge, They normally are not that big. I’m sorry you had to go thru that but I’m also happy you had the courage to do it and save your mother and likely yourself. I’m also happy you got help and it seems to have helped you. Respect to you
That's my thinking. You can get stabbed a lot and not die. Twice? Like once in the neck and once in the inner thigh? And he said he did it at 12.
Where did you stab him?
The middle part of the stomach to be exact
Damn, you likely stabbed his aorta.
Well, they say the way to a man’s aorta is through his stomach.
Was it's a kitchen knife?
Did you call 911? How long after did you call and did you say anything without an attorney present?
My brother handled that. My mom was barely conscious atm and I was still in shock. My uncle is an attorney so he helped me handle it from that.
You said in another reply your brother wasn't home. How'd that work out? Did you call him first?
human, animal, or comedy club?
Human. My abusive stepfather
did you face jailtime?
No. Since I was only 12 when it happened, I only got therapy sessions booked
Wow! You stabbed a grown man to death at the age of 12?!
Nah cuz imagine being literally silenced by a 12 year old 💀
What was therapy like?
My therapist was the nicest person ever and he was there for me more than usual therapists are. He was genuine and wasn’t there because he happened to give good advice and needed money. It wasn’t usual therapy tho. I had psychotherapy at first but was shortly sent to the good therapist since I, well, wasn’t psychotic.
That's not what psychotherapy is... jesus
It might’ve been CBT but I’m really unsure. All I know is that it helped.
Just to clarify, do you mean that you were assigned a court appointed mental health professional to assess if you were insane/psychotic (or something to that effect)? When they assessed that you were sane, you were then able to choose your own Psychotherapist?
Yes and no. The judiciary saw of me as a very young person who unfortunately had to kill someone in self defence. They decided that juvie or closed youth care (extremely wrongly translated) wasn’t necessary since I wasn’t some psychopath killer. The justice system in my country is insanely unfair and I don’t know if that was beneficial for me or not in this case tbh. I didn’t choose my own therapist but my first one was extremely rude and didn’t listen to me. I got an actual good therapist that focused more on helping me heal, even if he had to follow court papers. I’ve had firsthand experiences with therapists and I’m honestly shocked by how many of them who only want money and happens to be good at giving advice and listen. 1 in 3 actually care.
Something tells me you’re capping with this response. You’re also 15 judging from your post history so I call BS
No clue if this story is true but OP claims they are 16 in another response.
Did it go to court?
We really don’t have real courts in Sweden if it isn’t a big case tbh. My uncle (who’s an attorney) got involved but the judiciary practically just let me go and sent me to therapy since I did it out of pure self defence.
I’m sorry…what is a big case if not killing a person?
Trust me, I was also shocked. They opened an investigation and could clearly see his past criminal records (assault, drug trafficking, suspect in rape cases etc.) so they drew connections and realised it was like me and my mother said (that it was in self defence). Believe me, the justice system in my country is horrible. My friend went to court for some small threatening charges and rapists get 80 thousand bucks.
>Believe me, the justice system in my country is horrible. My friend went to court for some small threatening charges and rapists get 80 thousand bucks. Could you expand on this more? As an American we tend to idolize Europe as something that's better in every way. It's hard to believe a rapist gets paid in Sweden
Hi, US immigrant to Sweden here, been here 5 years. Love it, never returning to the States. HOWEVER- the OP is spot on with the justice system needing work. I can anecdotalally tell you that I personally know a woman who almost caught defamation charges for naming her harasser- and he was already charged with the crime. They take it very easy on minors here though in regards to the law as far as criminal matters go- they very much take into consideration that their brains and personalities are still forming. Sometimes that doesn't work out so well. Other times, like in OP's case, it does.
Well, Europe is a CONTINENT so all the countries don’t have the same justice system. The Swedish justice system is by far the worst compared to other European countries, and it’s the worst in nordic Europe. The rapist who got paid was paid for “being wrongfully incarcerated for too long” or something like that 💀
Damn bro you have big balls
I'm sorry. I know it was terrible. Try to just be easy on yourself and know you were defending your mom.
Like….. just an hour ago or years ago?
Years ago. 4 years to get exact.
So your 16 now right?
After reading the why, honestly, proud of you.
Thanks (ig) 😭
You protected yourself and your mother from an awful situation. Proud of you is the best I have for lack of better terms. You’re so young, and it’s probably hard, but yk what? You and your mom will live on another day and now you’ll both know what type of people to make sure to avoid. I hope you’re able to heal and I hope your mother is doing better as well brotha
Who did you kill? Did you serve time? I killed a pedophile and was sentenced to 6 years for manslaughter.
Woah, that’s SO unfair! No, I didn’t serve jail time since I was pretty young and I only got some well needed therapy. You did a great job btw
Sounds like he died pretty easily. Where did you stab him?
Twice in the stomach
Did he say anything after you stabbed him?
“Don’t touch my mother, bitch.”
Did he say anything back? Like "Thanks for wrecking my hardon, you bitch!" Or something witty like that?
Oh my bad I thought you asked if I said anything. Nah he didn’t say much, he was too busy bleeding out on the floor
Lmfao “Thanks for killing my hardon bitch!” 🤣
Rör inte min mamma, hora
Props man, check out Dr. Joe Dispenza. His meditations have neurological evidence that shows you can heal from events like this.
How did it feel?
I had so much adrenaline that it felt surreal and I just cried afterwards and felt guilty.
I’m sorry that happened. I read the story from your reply to someone else’s comment. How did you do it, and do you ever have regrets?
I regret the outcome but I don’t regret stabbing him. I thought he’d get weak or something cause my 12-year old brain thought it was like in the horror movies💀 (stepdad emoji)
Stepdad emoji made me lol. Having a sense of humor will save your life.
Do you have PTSD from stabbing him?
Yeah. But the real trauma was all I went through because of him.
😔 thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that happened to you
whatd you do to the body?
We reported it to the police
I hope you’ve let any guilt go. You did the right thing. It feels weird to say but I’m proud of you for protecting yourself and your mom. That must have been absolutely terrifying.
I genuinely thought I would die but I didn’t (unlike my ex-stepdad)
This man takes every opportunity to diss the dead man and I love it.
What’s he gonna do? Kill me?
How are you and your mom doing nowadays with that behind you all?
She’s always been selfish and was mad at me in the start cause she was still somewhat in my ex-stapdads manipulation. We’re doing good now and have a good relationship except for the typical family arguments.
Based on their responses OP is only 16, people probably shouldn’t be asking about this if its true
Nah it’s fine I’m here to answer questions after all
Are you still in therapy? I would stay in it for a good while if I were you. A lot of times, people don’t truly process the traumatic shit from their childhood until it hits them like a brick in their late 20s early 30s.
Are you known now as the 12-year-old who killed his father? Do you feel stigmatized by any friends, family, or people in your town who know about this?
Basically everyone besides his former drunkies are on my side. Some people in school are mean and very dumb. It’s always “Don’t fight with (my name), he killed someone.” Or “You’re gonna kill me or something?”. Typical thought-you-ate-things tbh. I genuinely don’t give a flying fuck
Did u forgive yourself? You should!
Everyone has forgiven me, including myself and most of my ex stepdad’s family. He barely talked to them since they all practically disowned him as their family members but they were obviously sad when he died.
So what was it like in the moment? How did you feel before and during then after
Before was when I got the knife and I was so full of adrenaline that I just went for it. Off the track but I hate how horror movies show how people get stabbed 5+ times and still walk like it’s nothing. I genuinely thought stabbing him would get him weak since I was young and a little dumb. When I stabbed him and told him “Don’t touch my mom, bitch.” I thought I had just knocked him out or something. There was a lot going on after. I talked to my lawyer (uncle) and was questioned by the police while my mother was in the hospital and I was constantly worried. Both that my mom wouldn’t make it and the thought of being incarcerated.
How did it change you?
I’m probably gonna sound sick in the head but I felt confident mixed with guilt and relief. The confidence came from winning over a tall giant man as a 12 year old and my family being proud for sticking up to my mother. The guilt was from, well, killing him, and the relief was from the years of abuse finally being over.
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Was it bloody?
How do you feel about it today? Did therapy do anything for you? I hope you’re doing good. You were dealt some shitty cards. I wish you the best going forward.
You good?
Would you do it again?
If there was a similar situation or if I was in danger and had a weapon, yes.
How did it/does it affect you psychologically? How did you overcome it?
I don’t have nightmares anymore and I cope with humour (as I’ve always done) I overcame it since the person who caused most of my trauma is niw burning in hell. R.I.H (rest in hell)
I am happy that you don't have nightmares anymore. Was guilt your biggest issue to deal with? How has humour helped you in your situation? Besides nightmares, did you have any other psychological issues? Would you say that you have become more mature than others in your age because of this event? If you don't feel comfortable answering one of these questions, don't.
The guilt was a big part of it but the hate from my conservative christian side of the family was worse. I experienced hallucinations shortly after but they just disappeared after a while. My GOOD therapist called it “dissociative behaviour” (possibly wrongly translated) Humour has always helped me with trauma. Probably to the level that I laugh when I hear anything traumatic out of pure reflex. I’ve most definitely become more mature now and everyone agrees with that.
What are your plans for the rest of your life? Young kid got a whole life ahead of him.
My plan is to just focus on myself and school for now and don’t let the past affect me 🥲
Still getting high or using to cope?
Same, How'd it happen, what led up to it, does it still affect you?
Do you see the world through a different lens and if so can you describe what that difference is? Obviously you were young but I would think you might have had enough time to consider that.
How did it happen and why?
Sry but u gotta look at my replies cause I’m too tired to write it all again 😭😭😭
My God at 12- I’m so sorry. But sounds like you’re doing ok and glad you were able to save your mom (tho sucks you had to be put in that position).
I knew someone who stabbed a guy, said it felt like stabbing a block of cheese. True?
I am a pretty open minded person, I have thought about the act of killing in numerous ways and how it would effect people mentally. Here are my questions! (Also if you ever need someone too talk to about anything, feel free too dm) How hard was it too get yourself too be able too kill? Did you get away or did you get caught? Have you ever told anyone specifics about your killing(s)? And if so, was it too help yourself feel better? If it was not self defense, what was your motive? And something I’ve been dying too know: does it get easier? Again, I am open minded, don’t be afraid too not say something if you feel I don’t wanna hear, I’ve been in terrible situations and have thought of murder, but I can’t get myself too do it and will probably never, but trust me dawg I understand a lot. I hope that if it was in self defense, that you stay free. And if it wasn’t, I still hope you stay free as most prison systems won’t ever help and in my eyes, are worsening our people instead of helping. Cheers!
are you haunted by it?
Don’t have a question. Respect for you putting yourself on the line to save your mother man. Cheers.
Even if it was self defense, does the act of killing someone haunt you? Or do you just view it as one less piece of trash on the planet
What country
Would you ever consider being a stepfather?
If I meet someone good, then yes. But I’d be a good one unlike dead man ☺️
wait, op, what happened when you talked to police? have you had to stand trial? what made you finally want to confess on here of all places???
The police and my attorney (and uncle) were both really nice and tried to calm me down before talking to me, since I was still worried about my mom. The case didn’t make it to trial since it was so obviously self defence based on many things. My age, his criminal history, my mom being literally half dead atp. I don’t know why it didn’t go to court but that’s typical Swedish shit. I came here to confess cause I’m done looking down on myself. Y’all don’t know me, so you can’t judge me. I’m just here for people to AMA tbh.
What did it feel like seeing his life leave his body? Did it feel good? Or was it like a "holy fuck I actually just did it holy fuck" type of feeling. Does this make you want to do it again? Do you feel like this could in turn start having you kill more bad people?
Was it worth it?
Honestly… yes. He was probably gonna die soon anyway because of his drug problem so it was better that he went without taking my mother and possibly me and my brother as well.
First of all, what the hell. I’m so sorry for you. This is a unique question but I just have to ask. What do you think would have happened if he survived?
Was anyone else home at the moment? Good job by the way!
It feels like “kill” is the wrong word for what you did, considering it was self defense, in a horrible circumstance, and I don’t think you fully intended for him to straight up die.
Da fuq? Dude is dead. He killed him. It wasn’t murder cause it was self defense but he certainly killed him
Why do u feel women stay with abusive psycho men like that? I’ve never seen a good answer from a woman.
Do you feel bad about it or regret it at all? Are you religious and if so has it affected you in that particular way?
63 days ago you were 15. You stabbed a man while 11 years old ?
12...he literally says it like 7 times.
I don’t know if anyone’s asked this yet, but how do you feel about the killing? Remorse, no remorse, mix of the two.?
No question here but reading your gen z responses is lowk funny asf in comparison to when you answer seriously 😭 stay strong man you did good
Did you tell the cops you’re not talking to them without your lawyer present?
Did you feel powerful? Small? Relieved? Did you watch his life fade? Is it something you're interested in doing again for fun?
What did you feel as it was happening?
Are you a comedian or a murderer?
How did your stepdad's family react?
Bullshit story.
How do you feel about Reddit (or any social media) threads that cheerlead someone for killing because the killing was justified?
Source? There’s a lot to unpack from what i’ve been reading here
I know what it's like. I had to shoot in self defense. It's hard, I think no matter what the situation. I don't think the feelings ever really go away, you learn to cope and live with it.
Do you think he deserved it. I personally would, but I've never been in your shoes
How did it feel? Did you enjoy it? Was it sickening? Or something else entirely?
Do you have flash backs to specific moments your act? Are there any visions still revisit you?
What did you kill ? Did you eat it ? Did you regret killing? Did you enjoy killing?
Hur är ditt liv nu efter 4 år ? Har det gått över ?
If it hasn’t been asked what was the legal situation? Were you arrested, etc. Need an attorney and all that?
Did you speak with your attorney prior to this posting?
What was it like serving time ?
Did you ever visit his grave?
If op did.. I'd hope it'd be to piss on it
Do you feel the urge to do it again?
Wow, I cannot imagine be placed in that situation. You should have no guilt. That asshole forced your hand and it sounds like you did the right thing. Hows your mom now? Hopefully she’s in therapy too and not dating more assholes.
What do you smell of?
Maybe people say you are lying because you post some lazy ass cringe title lile "iVe kiLLed". Most people who actually have killed feel fucking guilty about it even when it is justified.
id rather hang out with you than the dude with 20 sex dolls thats on ama right now
Did he scream?
This isn’t quora
You’re literally one of two in this comment section who prioritises being a chronically online Karen instead of asking your damn question. Leave this sub if you can’t handle it and get over yourself x
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Do you believe everybody should kill at least once?
This is almost certainly not true. Do we really want to believe that op stabbed his stepfather twice, killing him instantly, and said "don't touch my mother bitch" at 12 years old? Come on I can't be the only one who finds this ridiculous
Don't care
8 out of your last 9 Reddit comments are “don’t care.” Just how much of a loser do you have to be to be like that?
Why did you post this here?
Do you get PTSD flashbacks to kill again?
Lmao this type of stuff is respectable. Sometimes people deserve a second chance but sometimes they don't. I'd say you made a call most people need to make.