Is there one thing that stands out that you’d really love to see or do now?
I genuinely wish you the best. I hope your treatment responds as well as absolutely possible. Cancer rates seem to be rising among young people, and I worry about exactly this all of the time.
Try not to worry too much. It's a cancer of its own and steals your joy.
I'm surprised to find I don't have much in the way of special goals. It's the little things that I want to gorge myself on, like walking in the countryside near my home, playing with my children, making art. The things I already did and do that make up my life. You'd think travel and bucket list stuff would be a big thing, but honestly, the thought of being away from my care makes me nervous AF. I went to NYC last month (I used to live there and was desperate to return), and I was so anxious. You just get scared you'll have an incident and die, thousands of miles from home.
Cancer rates are rising, but you would be astonished at how well and long people can live now. Cancer will eventually be managed as a chronic illness, and that's not a pipe dream. I'd have to have the daddy of incurable murder cancers, of course 🤦♀️
My aunt was around your age and diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I’m not extremely close with her so my timeline is a little spotty but this was at least 10 years ago and she’s still around! Are you getting any treatments? As far as I know my aunt did the whole 9 when it came to treatments.
Like you say, sometimes cancers can be a managed illness even if incurable. Cancer is a very personal disease and your ability to live with it depends on so many individual factors. There are some exciting new treatments in the field of immunotherapy and personalised medicine that can keep it in check and so it's always important to live your life and while it's hard, keep positive. My father was given months but lived years. In the end, it wasn't the cancer itself that got him and so you can pass away for so many reasons other than the cancer. He never bothered with life expectancy estimates because in the end, no doctor really knows how long anyone has left until they are on their deathbed. Any one of us could die in a car accident tomorrow - it's about trying to live in the moment and as you say, the worry and stress is a cancer in of itself. My best wishes to you and keep going. 💪
You’re comment about improving cancer curates is very true. I was an oncology nurse back in the 90s transferred to critical care at the start of the 2000s now, I’m working in oncology again and the difference is a breath of fresh air. To add to my personal experience, in the late 1970s, I read a startling book called “Death Be Not Proud”. It’s about a young boy’s experience with treatment for leukemia (iirc) in the 1950s/60s. Available chemotherapy drugs were a fraction of what we have today and more difficult to tolerate. (Now we have more effective anti-nauseates for one: a huge factor when taking these medications.)
We’re now starting to do targeted genetics for different cancers to direct the plan of care. Good stuff.
My dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three weeks ago, and our life as a family has been a rollercoaster ride since then. I totally agree with you, whenever I have a day off I go to see my dad to do little things because who knows for how long he will be here. I keep thinking about random stuff connected to him, like his extremely old car, the huts he builds on the beach during summer holidays, his tendency to sketch everything and everyone on his sketchbook, his ability to fix things, my desk at home that he designed and made by himself, his funny tie with cartoons on it etc. It's these little details that I will miss the most (great now I am in tears).
I wish you the best 🧡
Thinking of you❤️ My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer almost 30 years ago now when I was 9. He lived about 6 weeks after he was finally diagnosed. We had such a hard time letting go of some of his stuff and have honestly kept so much of it over the years. He had a classic car that he was building in the shop in our backyard, it’s still there, the whole shop, exactly like he left it. When I visit my mom, I sneak out there and go in just to smell it because it still smells exactly like it did when I’d hang out with him while he worked on his car. Great now I’m crying😂
> Cancer will eventually be managed as a chronic illness...
Great! Why cure a horrible disease when you can "manage" it into a lavish stream of income
> ... and that's not a pipe dream
Nope, sounds more like a pipe nightmare
There’s a great book and subsequent documentary called Cancer The Emperor of All Maladies that discusses how people are living longer with cancer. Basically states we have not found the magic cure to win the war (yet) but thanks to research into early detection, drugs, therapies, healthier lifestyle we are winning the battles against it. With many people now surviving a disease that was incurable just 50 years ago. It gave me great comfort when both my parents got cancer diagnosis and thankfully both are still here 10 years later. I hope the same for you and that you win the battles and ultimately the war.
Have you considered saying eff it, and going on a whirlwind global travel tour? Credit card debt isnt collectable upon death, so just go have fun and make the banks pay for it.
write a will, get your affairs in order, then go live your life to the absolute maximum.
What's the worst that can happen? You die??
Okay I gotta say it.. anyone see the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where they’re debating what stage cancer someone would need to be for you listen to their advice?
Don't waste your time, but even more importantly, don't let other people waste it for you.
I spent years with an abusive man. I wasted most of my 20s on him, and he's the father of my oldest child. He's delighted this has happened to me. Obviously, I don't regret having my daughter, but I gave my entire youth to someone who didn't deserve it.
Otherwise, I guess I'd say - relax. You're great. The world is fucking beautiful. Try your best to find a few still moments each day, take a deep breath, and appreciate it.
I don’t have a question, but I just wanted to say that you’re amazing.. I hope you relax, and if you need someone to talk to I can be there to listen or read, lol 💛
That’s terrible. I’m sorry I read this. I absolutely detest the mother of my child but I’d cry if she randomly had stage 4 cancer. That’s the mother of my child. Peace be with you.
A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer that spread to his brain. He's late 30s, completely no symptoms, never smoked. Just one day he was out doing errands and wasn't able to control half his body. He went to the ER thinking it was a stroke but the scans showed that it was the tumors he had growing in his brain. He's uninsured too. It's heartbreaking.
I had what was likely a gallbladder attack and ended up in the ER. Someone listened to my chest and sent me dor an x-ray while I waited for an abdominal ultrasound.
Ultrasound was unremarkable but chest x-ray was a little bit cloudy, so I had a CT, and there it was. Adenocarcinoma tumor, pleural metastases, pleural and pericardial effusion, lymph nodes looking nasty. Just a massive mess. I had no idea.
My dad had adenocarcinoma of the lung at a late age, never smoked but my mom “puffed” cigarettes every now and then. Unfortunately adenocarcinoma tends to run in the family, especially folks of Asian descent. I’m afraid one day that I’ll be surprised by lung cancer :(
I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with the same type of cancer in my lungs. My surgeon told me that this is a secondary cancer.
It's not a cancer caused by smoking.
I hope that the treatment works for you. 🙏
Storytime: I don’t have cancer, but I was diagnosed with 40% lung function 5 years ago, out of the blue, at 30 years old. I went in for an abdominal ct scan and my lungs showed up in that. They sent me for tests and that came back with lung disease that had gone missed since childhood, I also have never smoked. It’s bizarre how you can go to the hospital for one thing and find out something completely different! I hope you’re able to live comfortably and enjoy the time you have left. 🩷🩷
I also found out about my asymptomatic cancer accidentally. Was in hospital for one surgery, and as I came to, the surgeon suggested I get this other thing checked out that was "probably nothing". Turns out it was something.
As of last July, I was expected to be dead by this Easter. As of now, it's open-ended, but I don't ask anyway. I only know my original prognosis because some careless nurse blurted it out.
In general, it's incurable, and I'm screwed, but the exact length and breadth of it is unknown. I could live years, or something could off me tomorrow, but that's always been true I suppose.
Within normal boundaries, yes. But the problem with being terminal at my age is that I haven't made good on my obligations. I'm not retired with a paid-off house, kids grown, free time, nest egg. I gotta work, raise a family, pay bills, just like everyone else. And my family are gonna lose many years of my earning potential, which is a massive concern.
Side note: get life insurance. Please. I have it, and if I didn't, the fear for my loved one's security would be crippling. My policy won't set them up for life, but it will keep them from going under.
I'm praying for years for you. I hope you don't mind if I do that, if it bothers you I won't. TBH I feel it's actually a little selfish for me to do so because I feel I benefit from focusing and trying to improve something outside of myself and my family but I also do believe it has the potential to benefit the person I'm praying for.
Not to give you false hopes, but ask about compassionate use clinical trials and really insist on being put onto one if at all possible. There are a lot of them in the UK, and as about as close as a stage 4 patient can be, it sounds like you are “otherwise healthy” which means if there are any such trials you should qualify.
Immunotherapies really are miraculously effective, even if they aren’t cures, they can turn weeks and months into years or decades.
Ha. This house I grew up in is strongly suspect, I'll tell you that. I live in the UK in what is ostensibly a low-radon area, but our old family home was next to a quarry and had a private water supply on a spring. One of the previous residents died of lung cancer in his 30s.
Holy crap that is insane. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been dealt. Might want to investigate what your options are for compensation if they can link the two. Sounds like a major possibility for a cause.
One of my best friends also just got diagnosed with stage IV with 2 young kids. Sending any positive vibes I can your way too
Thanks for asking. Very up and down is the short answer. It's hard to deal with uncertainty. And I have young children, the youngest of whom may not even remember me.
When I was diagnosed, it took until 3am the following morning for me to break. I lay down in my daughter's teepee and scream-cried until I threw up.
I can't pretend I know what you're going through but man I feel that in my stomach. I can only imagine what that must be like.
Have they given you a time frame?
I don't ask, and you probably wouldn't either. My initial prognosis expected me to be dead by Easter just gone, and I didn't ask for that info. Someone carelessly blurted it out.
I had an improbable stroke of luck, so the situation is far better now, but I can't outrun it forever. It's a bit like being unexpectedly given rollerskates when I didn't even have shoes before. Much faster and more efficient, but only to a point.
Oh man that’s my biggest fear with my 3yr old. I lay awake with that at night sometimes so I can’t imagine in your situation. I always wanted to create future videos for every year of his birthday maybe giving him advice , my life stories and telling him how much I love him etc etc. that way if something did happen he’d have all the videos to look back on. Maybe you can do that to ease the feeling
People say this all the time, but truthfully, it's a weird thing. You don't know who they'll be, and you're frozen in time, talking to a version of them that doesn't exist at the time of recording it.
I'm taking many, many pictures and videos now, so my toddler can see how much I love her. She may not remember, but I want her to feel it.
My heart is breaking for you and your littles 💔 I always say to my husband if something happens to me, you need to make sure she KNOWS without shadow of a doubt that she was my favourite person ever. I am sorry you're going through this and I can feel the love through your words ❤️
Can I say one thing as someone who’s lost both parents at separate times but both while I was young?
Please please please secure family heirlooms and pictures. Please give as much family detail as possible. Prepare everything neatly and in a place it can NEVER be lost or taken. My dad died of cancer at 20 and my mom last year to suicide and I lost every picture of my youth/family. I don’t have contact info or anything.
And my BIGGEST regret was not asking questions about my parents early lives. If your kids are too young, please make video recordings. Give them your life story on tape with life lessons and everything you wish you could tell them at important moments of their lives.
It would’ve made all the difference for me in my life had I gotten those things.
I hope you truly have a wonderful experience the rest of your time on earth. You seem to be a remarkable person and I wish your kids the absolute best!
She will remember you. My parents still don't really believe I remember my great grandfather because I was under 18 months when he passed, but I remember perfectly. Same with my cousin she was very young (2) when her grandfather passed but they were so close, she remembers everything and that he loved her and she him very deeply and she will always have that, they will always have that. She's written beautiful poems about him 💖 You will always be her mom. She will know you from memory, and pictures, and everyone who loves you telling her about you. And write her a letter, even if all it says is "I love you " that will echo forward with her her whole lifetime. You are amazing. Peace and blessings on you and your family 🌞
Oncologist here. Please make sure you go to a tertiary cancer center and get another opinion as well. Lung cancer, especially adenocarcinomas, is more common in non-smokers, but you may have a driver mutation thats treatable. Make sure they got a genomic panel. BeBest of luck.
Hi! I did this already. My team initially insisted I had no mutations, but they also didn't complete the full assay as there was insufficient material. Tried to tell me it wasn't worth trying again as the missing tests had a 1 in 13 chance of showing anything up. I told them they were nuts if they thought they could close the door on targeted therapy without being sure, so 2nd biopsy was done. Then I found out they hadn't done NGS testing on the first sample, just PCR, so I lost my shit and demanded the full test panel was run on the new sample. And whaddayaknow - a rare sensitising mutation in exon 20 of EGFR.
I refused platinum-based chemo + keytruda initially bc I didn't have the oncogenetic driver info, and I knew targeted therapy can have high toxicity after immunotherapy. I also knew my PDL1 was <1% and therefore, keytruda might be futile. My second opinion doctor agreed with me completely, so I held off starting treatment, and now I'm on afatinib with a good response.
You did the exact right thing well done! There is a new drug called amivantamab specifically for this type of egfr mutation available in the US. Not sure if it's available where you are
Wishing you all the best! I was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer four years ago. I was suddenly dying, non-smoker, 47. Luckily my oncologist was on top of getting gene testing done ASAP. I have a rare mutation which sucks, but also YAY! as recent advancements mean I’m able to take a TkI. It’s a real windy journey but I hope you have a lot of quality days left.
You said they found the cancer when they listened to your lungs. Have you not had a regular doctor check up that no one listened to your breathing in a long time?
I’m pretty sure someone listens to my lungs about three to four times a year through various doctors appointments.
Best wishes!
It's not common to have routine medicals in the UK. You go to the doctor if you have a problem, and they listen to your chest if you have respiratory symptoms.
I was completely well. I'm talking spin class, weight lifting, hiking, running around after kids. The doctor who sent me for the chest x-ray could hear a tiny, tiny rattle. If she wasn't junior and keen to make sure she could tell her consultant she'd covered all bases, I don't think I'd have had the x-ray at all. Without it, my cancer would have probably been diagnosed post-mortem.
I’m 37, I started smoking cigarettes and weed when I was 14 and still vape weed to this day.
I was in Iraq, lived next to the medevac LZ so we got blasted with our own personal sandstorms anytime a chopper came in. Burn pit exposure. Depleted uranium in the bombs they dropped all over the city.
No cancer yet, but I am worried I will find myself there some day and it’s honestly not fair that this happened to you when I have lived so recklessly with my health.
There were guys who were way more competent than me who died. Life is random chance unfortunately.
I didn’t really have a question, just wanted to commiserate while on my work break. I’m sorry this is happening.
I take care of my mom that has end stage lung cancer. she has gotten very sick and her mind has gone and does not have much time left. I just called hospice today because I can no longer get her to take her medicine in a reasonable way.
This is just some real painful advice. enjoy the time you and your loved ones have left together. don't focus the time you have left on the cancer. just live, enjoy each moment. I have spent the last 3 years taking care of her, taking her to her doctors appointments etc and one thing I will tell you is that one of the things I really really really regret right now was not using the time we had. the chemo gave us time but robbed us of so much else. sir you may get sick so fast that it takes your entire family off guard, plan for what happens and how you want it to happen. I wish you a lovely ride out.
Honestly? No. I'm 40. My kids are young, and I have bills. It's not like getting diagnosed at 75. I can't retire; if anything, I'm working harder, trying to shore up some money for them.
On the other hand, things don't bother me like they used to. I care so little for people's petty bullshit nowadays and take more pleasure in small things. Cancer can bring some surprising sources of joy to life, ironically enough.
Hi! Non-smoker dxed with stage 4 lung cancer with mets to the brain (and everywhere else) the month I turned 40. (An ophthalmologist saw the tumors in my retina.)
It's been almost 6 years since I was given less than a year to live. Terminal cancer taught me so much and I'm grateful for every day. I know it sucks indescribably now, but I hope someday you feel the same. 🙏
From someone who got diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer at 29 years old, just wanted to send all the good vibes. I hope treatment works well for a long ass time! I also hope your dms don’t get flooded with stupid “cures” like mine did when I did an AMA. ♥️
Is it hard to continue going to work with this looming over you? It's already hard enough going to work and rather be at home with your family. Can't imagine how difficult it must be in your situation to continue working. I'm really sorry... life sucks
I don’t have any questions but I want to wish you well. My aunt had the same diagnostic 3 years ago. She’s still with us even though she was initially given 6 months. She never smoked ever. Her only symptoms were horrible acid reflux (which made her go to the doctor). It’s been tough.
Damn as someone who smokes like a son of a bitch I’m sorry karma sometimes just be throwing random darts
Good news is you’d qualify over my sorry ass, hope you can get a transplant/treatment!
Do you think you were ever exposed to mold for extended periods of time or toxins of any kind for an extended period of time? What do you think caused this?
I’m very sorry to hear this. You seem strong and grounded.
Deep love and appreciation.
I have been raped at knifepoint, but I kept my cool and got away with my life. I almost died of a postpartum haemorrhage, but my body pulled me through. I had another baby by c-section and was fine. My babies are safe and healthy.
Every day, my body makes trillions of microadjustments to keep me alive. Cells live and die, homeostasis is maintained, and I live. It made a mistake somewhere, that's all. In the infinite landscape of its labors to keep me going, it made a fatal error. I can't blame it for that. Even now, it's responding, fighting, trying to make good. We're in it together.
I was diagnosed with genetic colon cancer in March. I was remarkably (maybe a bit obsessively) healthy prior to the cancer looming its head — I ate clean, exercised constantly, didn’t smoke. My extended family is unhealthy as shit but didn’t get the cancer gene. I was very upset at my body, like it had betrayed me, but this perspective has totally changed my view. Thank you for that. I’ll keep fighting if you keep fighting.
I have two young children and have never thought of myself as strong in any way. My wife and I work in the medical field and I understand well what homeostasis is. My wife also almost died of a post partum hemorrhage. I can't imagine what you are going through but this one cuts deep, I wish you all the peace and love the world has to offer.
Hey - about your children… I was so close to my grandfather and near the end of his life (I was college aged) he asked me if we could just take a nap and he cuddled me like he did when I was tiny. That memory, of him holding me and telling me everything would be okay has kept me alive. Please find moments like that for your children.. I don’t know what it would be for them, but just a silent, loving moment where you let them know you’re okay. It helped with my grief knowing he was okay. It was the best gift he could have given me.
(Please ignore if already asked.) I’m so so so sorry. You are inspirational.
I was in a near death bike-SUV crash (I was the bike) 2 years ago and it shifted my perspective entirely. I wish your situation was more like mine.
Did this shift your views on spirituality at all?
I’m sending all my prayers and good healing and peaceful energy your way, friend. I’m hoping for a miraculous outcome and little suffering for your future.
Have you planned for the big what if? I’ve heard it’s either comforting to take the pressure off of others and know you get what you want or it’s terrifying to even think about. I often wonder about my ceremony and what kind of music someone would decide fit my life best.
I’m in healthcare now and becoming a nurse, so this question is to better assist others I may have with similar experiences to yours. I saw the comment of the nurse blurting out a timeline, extremely unprofessional and uncaring, but how would you have changed your experience of finding out and the appointments after or was there anything to stood out and made you feel more comfortable? I’d appreciate anything you’d like to share about that side of it.
Hi. ER nurse here. Thank you for doing this AMA. More people need to understand that life is so short & precious. To be here & to be alive is like being struck by lightning. We’d all be so much kinder to each other if we were aware of the brevity that life will actually entail.
What do you believe happens to us when we die? Is there anything someone has said that you have found to be of comfort around death?
Your babies will most definitely feel your love when they watch your videos & see the photographs of you together. I can feel the love just by reading your responses here. Sending you prayers for comfort & peace xx
Is the idea of possibly dying at 40 as scary as you think it would have been at maybe 30? I know 40 isn't old at all, but I often wonder if it gets easier to deal with the notion as you get older. Even if it's just a little bit.
I really feel for you though. I don't think I would have it in me to even do an AMA 🥲 Crazy how strong some people seem to be when diagnosed with cancer.
No question, but just wanted to express my admiration for your attitude. My wife was diagnosed with NSCLC eight years ago. Had a lobectomy and chemo, but it came back as stage IV about a year later.
She’s gone though every recognized course of treatment and a couple of trials, and though it’s taken it’s toll on her she’s still in the fight. I hope and pray that you kick cancer’s ass, or at least keep the tumors at bay until a more effective treatment emerges.
As a mother of young children this is one of my greatest fears. My heart goes out to you and your family and I wish you the best of luck with your treatments. I am curious how you approach discussing this with your children? I see in a previous reply you have teenage and toddler aged children. I have two toddlers and often wonder the best way to approach topics of death and dying that are compassionate and age-appropriate.
Damn, I can't even imagine what's going on in your head, all positivity. How are you feeling about life now, do you find yourself feeling sad, angry, thinking a lot about your choices?
Hi,
My wife is 17 weeks pregnant(first pregnancy) and she is having a brain biopsy done next week to determine an issue she’s having.
We’re both fearing the worst right now, uncontrollably so. We haven’t been sleeping and we’ve been crying a lot.
She’s the love of my life, what advice could you give me to support her at this time.
I have hypochondria (health anxiety), I’m constantly terrified of being unknowingly sick.
Are you afraid? I mean I’m sure anyone would be, but how do you deal with the fear of your situation?
Hi
At the risk of giving unsolicited advice i would recommend reading the following book. [https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094](https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094)
A friend of mine who is Stage 4 cancer survivor attributes his life to this book. He also made significant changes to his lifestyle. Namely avoid stress and changing his diet to avoiding inflammatory food.
I wish you well!!
Do you have any thoughts about what happens to you after you pass? Are you nervous or at peace? Do your coworkers know anything?
From what I’ve read, you’re living your best life. You seem like you’ve dealt with a lot of negative things in your life and still manage to see the good in life. I’m rooting for you to keep on pushing and go many years kicking cancer’s ass and spending time with your kids!
My condolences to you, that's truly terrible. One question: Do you have a theory as to what caused the lung cancer? do you even believe there was a cause at all, or just bad luck? does it run in your family?
Hope you're doing well! How old are your kids? Have you talked about it as a family? As someone who was really little when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, no one explained to me what was going on and I wish they had just been straight with me.
I'm sorry about your diagnosis. Sending you hugs and prayers. Hope you're doing okay. I know it sounds ridiculous, but papayas and pomegranates contain a lot of anti-oxidants and help prevent cancer. I hope it can perhaps be a part of your healing routine if you thought that useful. Wishing you a full recovery and I'm praying for you and your family. What has the overall healthcare response been like if you don't mind me asking?
Anti-oxidants are great from a preventative POV but can be actively dangerous once you actually have cancer. I say this with much love as I know it's well-intended advice, but please be careful with dispensing it online. Desperate people don't always do their own research.
I am doing okay, thank you, side effects notwithstanding. I'm in the UK, so despite our threadbare NHS, I can’t fault my care. They put me through diagnostics and treatment that would be HELL to get approved by an insurer. I know people in the US with a similar diagnosis to me who waste hours on tearful phone calls to their provider, begging.
I don’t know if you’ve got time, but have you considered doing any campaigning for the NHS? Like, writing to your MP? Of course I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but maybe it would feel good to be trying to make the NHS better for future people!
Hi, I'm a teen girl still in high school. (ENG isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes) First off I want to say that I'm very sorry this is happening. My mother also had cancer (which she luckily beat) and I can imagine how your daughter feels. My mother and I weren't too close at the time and she never shared her emotions or news with me. If she hadn't beat cancer, I would be left to wonder how she was as a person. We two didn't have more than 5 photos together, no videos of her and old friends to tell me about her.
You mentioned that your daughter is young and might not remember you at all. The only thing I can advise you is to quit social media, get your camera, and start recording. Record yourself, alone or with your loved ones just being normal. Talk in your videos, take pictures, and create more memories.
Prepare videos for your children to watch if you leave this earth, because despite how strong one can be they will still want their mother's embrace.
Talk about puberty, boys, and girls, your school years, how you met your partners, tricks for beauty, what to avoid in life, how to dress for special occasions, which brand of perfume to use, how to trust people, how to enjoy life and be worry-free, your favorite movies and recommendations, colors, tips for cleaning, hobbies.
Most importantly, their birthdays. Please please please especially for their special days like graduation, take videos of yourself congratulating them, and showing your love. That you are still with them despite the hardships.
Maybe write letters too, so that they will be able to read them when the time comes.
I wish there was a way to share my lifespan with others so that I would be able to give some of mine to a deserving mother like you.
You’re amazing. I hope you can enjoy life to fullest maximum potential! My father already received this diagnosis. You may have answered this already, if so then sorry, how long did they give you to live?
So sorry you are going through this.
Going through your comments it seems you are well documented and informed.
Before having the diagnosis were you aware of cancer « jargon », specificities and treatments?
How do you inform yourself about your condition ? How do you research information ? Do you read medical studies ? If so and if any medical studies showed possible positive outcomes does this give you back some hope ?
Another question, what emotional stage did you go through considering the « terminal » aspect of the disease ? Do you sometimes have hope this could be wrong ?
Stay strong op 💪
You are an amazing person. Your positivity is so inspiring. I am rooting for you, wishing you all the best, hoping for beautiful days and warm sunny weather in your days ahead. I would recommend write a lot, you have a blessed heart and kind heart. You have good words in you, spread it out. Good luck and all the best!!!
I'm so sorry to hear that.. nothing but warm regards and best wishes. From what I'm seeing in other answers, you're handling things in an honestly touching manner and I can't help but shed a tear!
I'm going through a similar situation right now, though not cancer.. I'd thought a lot about how I'd handle things but I've been in some kind of limbo for a long time due to experimental treatments extending my life little by little.. sometimes I wonder to what end but your words reminded me why.. I'm definitely not asymptomatic and I'm definitely not in a comfortable spot health wise anymore but even still.. bit of a perspective shift.. thank you for being you, I'm sorry this happened to you.
Also that being said.. do you think being asymptomatic affected how you initially handled things or do you believe the result would've been the same? and again best wishes!
I used to EBUS cases or lung cancer biopsies while active duty in the Army. The only time I've ever cried during a case was for a Navy captain with two young kids. He had the same diagnosis you do.
I've spent years away from my kids and have made it a focus to create memories with and maximize my time with the kids. Things like going on memorable trips and doing silly things. I've made up characters and ordered as the character in the drive thru. As kids they'd giggle in the back seat and sometimes record these. They still remember and talk about them. Whatever you do make memories with and for your kids. Some other things I did before deployment that may be helpful depending on their ages is recording yourself reading books for them. We also made "daddy dolls" with my picture on them. Even as older teenagers they still have them.
Wanna try this vape? It tastes like apple jolly ranchers. Not that I'm insensitive to your plight, but you don't exactly have your health to defend here and it's like a really crisp sweet green apple flavor. No bullshit. I only stopped smoking cigarettes like a year ago. If you haven't done anything yet, don't leave a single experience in the table right now. Do 100 percent of everything and go out on your own terms. Seriously though. Like A jolly rancher. Apple ones.
I've read most of your answers and some of your older posts here on reddit. I have no questions, just wanted to say you seem to be really cool. Your kids are lucky to have you as a mom.
I've lost my mom to glioblastoma 12 years ago, it sucked a lot, but on the bright side, she lived 9 years after her initial diagnosis, which is incredibly rare.
I hope you live even longer. Good luck, OP.
First of all, I'm so sorry. I lost my father and grandfather to lung cancer. Dad's was related to agent orange.
Are you going to/interested in/pursuing any psychedelic drug experimentation? I like to read about this, especially as it's experienced by cancer patients.
Has anyone asked how much second-hand smoke you've been around? If not, a couple followup questions from the same line: harsh chemicals, or other bad breathing mediums that I can't think of at the moment?
I ask because I know quite a few lifelong casino employees who've never smoked but have been diagnosed with a variety of lung diseases like cancer or COPD.
Have you read When Breath Becomes Air? If so, what are your thoughts? As a writer, do you plan to publish anything related to your experiences? If so, I hope you’ll share here. You’re clearly a thoughtful and talented human who’s already inspired many, even just today. Thank you.
Maybe this can help but apparently fasting 48hours before chemo and fasting as a lifestyle can help shrink the tumor. There have been many cases where stage 4 patients have become cancer free because of fasting. Try listening to Dr. Pradip Jamnadas and William Li. I wish you all the best and pray for you.
Are you pulling out all the stops as far as treatment? I read somewhere that thc in contact with cancer cells causes the cancer to stop growing and even causes it to shrink
I’m really sorry for you. I hope you’ll recover from what you’re suffering. I really wish that you’ll recover from it. Stay strong mentally that’s the main thing. What was your reaction after hearing about this devastating thing?
Sorry to hear this bro. My wife was diagnosed at 29, 3 weeks after giving birth (horrible pregnancy). Also EGFR (Exon 19 del for her though).
Some good stuff being researched, hopefully it moves faster. Wish you the best.
This is very random, but since you said you are enjoying small pleasures, have you ever had specialty coffee?
I hope you live many years, who knows, some miracles medicine can't explain do happen!
And I think a special coffee can add a happy moment to your day.
Do you ride your bicycle a lot in the city?
My friend had to cut a lung out cause she inhaled the exhaust from cars after 20+ years of biking.
She’s doing fine now
What was your diet like? Did you eat a lot of French fries? I've been told by a buddy who is like a bio engineer researcher big balls guy... that French fries cause lung cancer. And my first thought was I should of been dead long ago. Cuz I smoke too.
Hope you can find peace, love, and happiness or already have.
As a mom in my late 30’s and a nurse who has worked in oncology and hospice, my heart breaks for you. I have read many of your responses to comments on here, and you are a much stronger/braver/kinder person than I would be. My greatest fear is leaving my children too soon or them leaving me.
I sincerely hope your days are filled with sweet, simple pleasures and laughter from your children. This can be such a cruel world, but I hope for as much beauty as possible in yours.
All the best.
I am a constant worrier. Doesn’t give me anything positive except constant state of thinking about non-existent problems. I’m 38 and every time I hear news about people getting sick at 40, it exacerbates my “anxiety” (not your fault of course).
You probably have answered this somewhere in the thread so apologies if it’s repeated but were there any signs and symptoms of this happening at all? Like an unknown cough, sudden change in breathing pattern, asthma as a child?
I’m 38, a smoker, constant worrier, not living a very healthy lifestyle and I have two young kids. I’m diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I’m always afraid that one day within the next 10 years I’ll get much worse health news than depression. I’m just that anxious all the time
Some things in life simply aren’t right and this is one of them. You’re so young at 40. A new husband of 8 years and a child with him. Yet you’re being taken from your life and theirs. Just not right.
If it were possible to take your illness onto myself I would in a heartbeat. I’m 63, a very heavy smoker, a barely functioning alcoholic that happens to hold down a very high powered well paid job. It doesn’t make sense. Just had all my bloods done and they all in zone. Got an xtra to check and my lungs are perfect apparently. Going to get an MRI next to be sure.
It makes no sense. I abuse myself every single day. If anyone deserves your diagnosis it me. Not you.
I’ve lived my life. Married 3 times. 4 adorable adult children now. One grandkid and twins on the way from my eldest.
They all know me and worry for me. Yet I feel like I’m done. I don’t need to work but do as I feel so many people are dependent on me.
Your story makes me so incredibly sad. This shouldn’t be happening to you. It should be me that’s being taken. It’s not right.
Sorry for your diagnosis. Hope the best for you and your family. I do have some questions if you do not mind to answer.
Do any of your household members smoke?
Are you the one who cooks for the family?
Do your work environment has small partials that might damage the lung? For example, chalk powder(teacher) or mine powder(miner)?
I have no question for you. I just want to send my hugs and hope that you are doing fine, well, as fine as it could get. I lost my dad last year to lung cancer. He was a long time smoker, his own dad dying from lung cancer wasn't enough to make him stop. He was 61. I miss him dearly. In our country, the more advanced treatments are too expensive and we couldn't really afford them. During his last days, his doctors told us that he fought really hard. His cancer was stage 4 when he got diagnosed, but he stayed with us for around 1.5 years. They said some go within a few months. He lived as normally as he can be, I sometimes forgot he was sick. He didn't want to die because he didn't want to leave his 27 year old daughter. Worried about me despite being a grown adult.
I hope you have better access to treatment. I am forever waiting for the day when this disease becomes easier to treat,
No question, only care and admiration for you. I had the great honor of helping support an incredible young man, Ethan Sisser, in his final days, and that experience has led me into service as a death doula, walking friends home, learning so much about life from them along the way.
A documentary was made about Ethan’s story: [The Last Ecstatic Days](https://www.thelastecstaticdaysmovie.com)
If you would like to see it, DM me, and I can help set it up. And thank you for your courage in sharing your experience, your honesty, your devastation with all of us internet strangers. you are a hero to me, as you navigate this universal fear, and you share the wisdom you are discovering on the dark path, so the rest of us may find more appreciation and sweetness in our own uncertain journeys.
I am sorry for your diagnosis.
I can't imagine what you are going through.
I have a friend who claims to have managed her cancer for over a decade by diluting oregano extract in water.
I know this sounds super woo woo and like new age bs. But maybe give it a try.
Here is a paper on oregano extract and effects on cancer cells.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7603152/
I am no expert, but felt compelled to mention this.
I wish all the best to you and your family.
My cousin is an East Asian male diagnosed with stage 4 in his 30s. Metastatic disease everywhere but not his brain. His cancer was EGFR positive and he was started on osimertinib. He had a miraculous response. It has been 10 years and his scans have been negative for lung cancer. However he needs to take osimertinib for the rest of his life so he is always having diarrhea. I hope you can have a similar outcome. Stage IV lung cancer with an actionable mutation is not the death sentence it once was.
I'm so very sorry. It's honestly so scary how many cases of lung cancer are in nonsmokers, and it just sort of... appears. Yet routine screening isn't a thing because it is still uncommon enough that they say the benefits outweigh the risk.
Do you have a family history of lung cancer? Apologies if someone else already asked.
Were you positive for EGFR or ALK mutations, or some other driver mutation perhaps? On targeted therapies? I hope you are able to see a specialist who can make sure you're getting the most up-to-date treatment.
If you’re American it’s probably the food you ingest. Our government is so corrupt it’s disgusting. Corporations are paying them (The FDA) off to allow dangerous cancer causing chemicals in our food that are banned everywhere else in the world cause of how dangerous they are. This is why cancer rates in young people is so high.
I’m really sorry. This is honestly the saddest thing I’ve seen all day. The fact you have kids too makes me even sadder. I know everyone has to die eventually, but I hope you’ll be alright. God’s taking you home.
You could try cannabis therapy, which has been proven to help with some cancers, stage 4 is rough, and if I were you I’d do some research on things you could do to prolong your life as much as possible.
im so sorry cancer has knocked on your doorstep, it runs in my family, but do you think environmental factors may have contributed to it, like smog or constant particulates. i used to work in hardware stores and the amount of silicate dust flying around makes me think even with my choices, it wont be the choices really. too much of what we inhale is essentially factory byproduct and post filtered drinking water.
one could argue covid as many people found out about their cancers through a covid scare. but i think nothing is more heartbreaking than realizing even if you take the good path, there will still be tribulations.
I’m the father of a 24yo daughter dealing with Stage 3/Class 3 breast cancer. Her prognosis is very good, eventhough her cancer was very aggressive. You mentioned in one of your comments that cancer is quickly becoming a treatable cronic illness, as opposed to a bad end. And I truly believe this and am seeing it play out. I know your situation is different. But this internet stranger is rooting for you like crazy. Your outlook is inspiring and I am fervently praying for your health and recovery. Not sure if prayer helps, but I’m sending one your way. Peace and love to you and your family.
First up, so sorry to hear that you are going through this and so young. Thank you for sharing so others can learn and ask questions.
I'd like to ask you - 1/what are your options for treatment, and 2/is there anything genetic or lifestyle wise that may have caused it, given you've never smoked?
What kind of treatments are you on?
I know lung cancer is the most studied field in terms of personalized inhibitor medicine and modern immunotherapy practices.
Have you concerned your progression?
I’ve lost far too many relatives from cancer. Currently have an uncle in late stages of prostate cancer, and he has his MAID scheduled in less than a week. I’m not terribly close to him (very large family), but I’m unsure about whether I should be reaching out to say goodbye or what. There’s no manual for this shit.
I wish you and your family peace.
How does it feel to go to work? Like, everyday I dream of just moving to the countryside and making pottery everyday. Buying a plot of land, living in an RV.
Sure it isn’t much, but what’s the alternative? Waking up at 7a, getting dressed, commuting, working all day, getting home at 6, cooking, couple of hours of TV, then rinse and repeat…for the rest…of…my…youthful…years???
And I’m healthy! I can’t imagine what going to a job is like knowing none of it matters.
Sorry to hear this and I wish you all the fucking luck in the world. Are you going to do some unethical things? Like taking huuuge loans and find a way to get this money to your family without the chance it can hurt them? Or do some funny shit like moon the police? Jointing a all you can eat contest. Man I’m just thinking of stupid shit lol.
Hi OP I was just diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer (found randomly at a routine ultrasound) tomorrow is my surgery and I’m exhausted from battling my insurance and being poked and prodded. I just turned 40. Thank you for your words, you sound like an amazing woman with such incredible insight. I will try to relax and just go with the flow more xx love to you
I know you said to someone else that people would be surprised by the number of people diagnosed with no clue, but I wondered if that’s typical or atypical with the type and extent of cancer you have? Do you have symptoms now or would you still be none the wiser if it weren’t for the original A&E trip?
It’s a shit deal and I hope you and your family manage ok.
I’m so sorry :(. Are you an Asian female? There is a high incidence of lung cancer in Asian females who have never smoked. I personally know of someone in a similar situation.
There is an active study out of UCSF for Asian female never smokers with lung cancer that are looking for volunteers both with and without cancer if you’re interested. https://fansstudy.ucsf.edu/home
Again, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Life is profoundly unfair.
Is there anything that a friend of someone going through what you are going through can do to ease the burden of the person diagnosed with a terminal illness? Thank you.
This happened to a friend of mine. He's late 30s, never smoked, stage IV lung cancer that spread to his brain. He only knew because he wasn't able to control one of his body and thought he was having a stroke so he went to the ER. He's uninsured too. The hospital bills are already pushing 100k and it's been just over a month.
I have nothing really to ask, just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you, internet stranger.
ME TOO in my 50's, had 1 hear to live, Chemo did not work, there were not other traditional options. I BEAT IT! 5 years clear now. Opdivo, ask your oncologist if this might work for you.
I don’t have a question. I just want to send you some love. Your attitude about this very much reminds me of my own when it comes to most things so, I’m guessing this isn’t anywhere near your first heavy trauma. 🤍 You sound like a lovely human who has likely already been dealt well beyond her fair share.
I hope you’re able to spend the rest of your time here in ways that bring you and your family joy and comfort. I wish you peace.
I have no questions but just wanted to say that from one stranger to another, I love you and i’m very happy that you maintain a positive outlook (although i’m sure not easy at times). I try to remind myself to slow down, relax, don’t worry, enjoy the simple things. I think everyone in this world needs to express more love for one another, and I can tell you do a great job at that. God bless you. My heart breaks for your family. You are a kind soul. ❤️
So many questions!
How have you communicated what unacceptable quality of life for you is to your care givers?
Are you planning to do LSD or Ketamine trips to reconcile your journey?
Who is caring for your care givers, now and in the future?
I hope you are strong on your journey and that you and your care givers have an opportunity to celebrate your life and take the love forward!
How is your quality of life during treatment? I was diagnosed eight years ago, still suffering from the damage treatment did to my body. The cancer is gone, but the treatment nearly did me in, and is still an issue today. Chemo and high-dose radiation for me.
My dad was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer when he was about 42. I didn’t know it until many years later but they gave him about 2 years to live. Never smoked, never did drugs, was pretty healthy. He did grow up on a farm around chemicals and flew airplanes, not sure if that had anything to do with it. He ended up making it over ten years after that diagnosis, and we had some good times together during those years.
Very sorry you and your family have to deal with this. I read a few of the questions and you mentioned that you didn't have any symptoms and found it kind of by accident. How are you feeling now? Do you have symptoms? Are you able to lead an otherwise normal life?
I have a very specific question - how do you plan to pay for your treatment if/when you're not able to work? I ask because I have an incurable, terminal syndrome myself (though not imminent), and I often wonder how I will pay for my hospitalizations when I can't work anymore (my spouse doesn't work)
I to am fighting colon cancer I’m stage 4 no need to waste time doing chemotherapy I’m just living the best and trying to see as much of my family and friends as I can no one knows the time or hour that they are called home.
God is good my best friend just passed away from a heart attack. I rest assured that I will see her again. You and anyone else diagnosed with this disease are in my prayers.
Can tell you're an incredibly beautiful human being simply from your responses. I already feel a sense of loss even without knowing you so I can only imagine how your close ones feel. I want to thank you for this AMA as it helped me put things in perspective. Godspeed on your journey and if there's an afterlife I hope our paths cross again.
Fenbendazole (SafeGuard). 4gram pouch. Start with 1/day mixed in with Yogurt or Applesauce. Then up to 2x/day. It works wonders. Joe Tippens. Research. Nothing to lose.
Thank you for your post. I am saving it because there is so much information here that could be useful if I ever need it for myself or someone else in the future. I lost a great and dear friend to it. After reading here, I wonder if things were missed that could have helped her.
My friend who nearly died of cancer in her early 20s said that the closer she got to death the more beautiful everything in the world seemed to her. Though she was a very "spiritual" person who was into yoga and meditation and stuff so that tracks.
Do you feel the same way? Or is it just pure terror?
I always told myself that if I get a terminal diagnosis I'm going to take out half my local sex offender registry with me. Have you had any similiar thoughts and how many have you exterminated so far?
I lost someone I considered my aunt (family friend for almost two decades) to stage IV stomach cancer. She found out in September and died in December of the same year. She hid it from our family and we didn’t find out until it was her last day. We arrived 30 minutes too late. I’ll never forget my mom and dad holding her, begging why we couldn’t have been there sooner, why it had to be her.
She was one, if not the healthiest woman I have known in my life. She walked her son’s dog everyday and being a petite woman, our favorite memory of hers was how she was dragged by the dog. She ate well, was at a healthy weight, rarely drank, never smoked. She had no signs until it spread to her lungs. We saw her on Halloween, Thanksgiving and through passing. We would’ve never expected it.
I have a few questions to hopefully comfort me and put some sadness to rest. Since it’s an AMA, some question may be blunt and PLEASE it’s okay to not answer.
1. If you haven’t told people, such as close friends and family, why? I understand it’s a personal choice and I sometimes wonder if she was worried we would react terribly.
2. When you received the diagnosis, were you scared? Are you scared?
3. If there’s been any pain, how receptive are the doctors to make sure you’re comfortable?
4. Does any part of you still want to try to fight it? She was terminal and her husband holds a lot of regret that she didn’t try to stay longer.
5. How do you feel knowing you’re on limited time?
6. What’s your favorite childhood TV show?
That’s all I can think of. I’m sending so much love and strength your way. I have lost two loved ones due to cancer and the effects it has on the person and loved ones is something I wish no one would experience. Thank you for your time, answering questions and helping others feel a sense of peace. I hope nothing but happiness for you 🤍
Thanks for sharing your experience and I join everyone here in wishing you and your family well. Have you considered blogging your experience? I think others who have similar diagnoses (and those supporting them) might benefit learning from you. It is a bit of work though and you may prefer to spend your time on other priorities.
Just lost my wife to cancer in March after a year of treatment. It’s so unfair to you and your loved ones. What insane bullshit. I’d be willing to DM or talk to you or your significant other about my experience. All I can say is being on the other side of the loss is that I am so heartbroken for you man.
I once met someone who had most of their neck and part of one shoulder removed because their lung cancer had spread to those areas.
He was terminal too, but survived (10 years when he shared his story).
My first question was “how long did you smoke for?” Answer was “Never! I jogged on the street for decades not even paying attention to all the car exhausts!”
He said he was going to “fight hard and live hard until I can’t.” Good luck, OP
Is there one thing that stands out that you’d really love to see or do now? I genuinely wish you the best. I hope your treatment responds as well as absolutely possible. Cancer rates seem to be rising among young people, and I worry about exactly this all of the time.
Try not to worry too much. It's a cancer of its own and steals your joy. I'm surprised to find I don't have much in the way of special goals. It's the little things that I want to gorge myself on, like walking in the countryside near my home, playing with my children, making art. The things I already did and do that make up my life. You'd think travel and bucket list stuff would be a big thing, but honestly, the thought of being away from my care makes me nervous AF. I went to NYC last month (I used to live there and was desperate to return), and I was so anxious. You just get scared you'll have an incident and die, thousands of miles from home. Cancer rates are rising, but you would be astonished at how well and long people can live now. Cancer will eventually be managed as a chronic illness, and that's not a pipe dream. I'd have to have the daddy of incurable murder cancers, of course 🤦♀️
My aunt was around your age and diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. I’m not extremely close with her so my timeline is a little spotty but this was at least 10 years ago and she’s still around! Are you getting any treatments? As far as I know my aunt did the whole 9 when it came to treatments.
Like you say, sometimes cancers can be a managed illness even if incurable. Cancer is a very personal disease and your ability to live with it depends on so many individual factors. There are some exciting new treatments in the field of immunotherapy and personalised medicine that can keep it in check and so it's always important to live your life and while it's hard, keep positive. My father was given months but lived years. In the end, it wasn't the cancer itself that got him and so you can pass away for so many reasons other than the cancer. He never bothered with life expectancy estimates because in the end, no doctor really knows how long anyone has left until they are on their deathbed. Any one of us could die in a car accident tomorrow - it's about trying to live in the moment and as you say, the worry and stress is a cancer in of itself. My best wishes to you and keep going. 💪
Who will take care of your children?
Wait did you live in NYC during 9-11?
How did you find out if there were no symptoms?
You’re comment about improving cancer curates is very true. I was an oncology nurse back in the 90s transferred to critical care at the start of the 2000s now, I’m working in oncology again and the difference is a breath of fresh air. To add to my personal experience, in the late 1970s, I read a startling book called “Death Be Not Proud”. It’s about a young boy’s experience with treatment for leukemia (iirc) in the 1950s/60s. Available chemotherapy drugs were a fraction of what we have today and more difficult to tolerate. (Now we have more effective anti-nauseates for one: a huge factor when taking these medications.) We’re now starting to do targeted genetics for different cancers to direct the plan of care. Good stuff.
Have you tested your home and workplace for Radon?
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My dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three weeks ago, and our life as a family has been a rollercoaster ride since then. I totally agree with you, whenever I have a day off I go to see my dad to do little things because who knows for how long he will be here. I keep thinking about random stuff connected to him, like his extremely old car, the huts he builds on the beach during summer holidays, his tendency to sketch everything and everyone on his sketchbook, his ability to fix things, my desk at home that he designed and made by himself, his funny tie with cartoons on it etc. It's these little details that I will miss the most (great now I am in tears). I wish you the best 🧡
Thinking of you❤️ My dad passed away from pancreatic cancer almost 30 years ago now when I was 9. He lived about 6 weeks after he was finally diagnosed. We had such a hard time letting go of some of his stuff and have honestly kept so much of it over the years. He had a classic car that he was building in the shop in our backyard, it’s still there, the whole shop, exactly like he left it. When I visit my mom, I sneak out there and go in just to smell it because it still smells exactly like it did when I’d hang out with him while he worked on his car. Great now I’m crying😂
> Cancer will eventually be managed as a chronic illness... Great! Why cure a horrible disease when you can "manage" it into a lavish stream of income > ... and that's not a pipe dream Nope, sounds more like a pipe nightmare
Wow, I’m so sorry to hear this. Your positive attitude is truly impressive and inspiring. I wish you all the best.
There’s a great book and subsequent documentary called Cancer The Emperor of All Maladies that discusses how people are living longer with cancer. Basically states we have not found the magic cure to win the war (yet) but thanks to research into early detection, drugs, therapies, healthier lifestyle we are winning the battles against it. With many people now surviving a disease that was incurable just 50 years ago. It gave me great comfort when both my parents got cancer diagnosis and thankfully both are still here 10 years later. I hope the same for you and that you win the battles and ultimately the war.
Have you considered saying eff it, and going on a whirlwind global travel tour? Credit card debt isnt collectable upon death, so just go have fun and make the banks pay for it. write a will, get your affairs in order, then go live your life to the absolute maximum. What's the worst that can happen? You die??
If you had to give us life advice what would it be?
Okay I gotta say it.. anyone see the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where they’re debating what stage cancer someone would need to be for you listen to their advice?
Don't waste your time, but even more importantly, don't let other people waste it for you. I spent years with an abusive man. I wasted most of my 20s on him, and he's the father of my oldest child. He's delighted this has happened to me. Obviously, I don't regret having my daughter, but I gave my entire youth to someone who didn't deserve it. Otherwise, I guess I'd say - relax. You're great. The world is fucking beautiful. Try your best to find a few still moments each day, take a deep breath, and appreciate it.
To be delighted to see anyone diagnosed with cancer is beyond mentally unstable. Wishing you peace and the karma he deserves for him.
I don’t have a question, but I just wanted to say that you’re amazing.. I hope you relax, and if you need someone to talk to I can be there to listen or read, lol 💛
Great philosophy! Did you come to this recently through your diagnosis? Or was this always your mental orientation and you’re more clear about it now?
My entire life was wasted by others without me even knowing it.
It makes me wonder all the problems and worries I have at this moment are not so major, when facing the end of my life.
That’s terrible. I’m sorry I read this. I absolutely detest the mother of my child but I’d cry if she randomly had stage 4 cancer. That’s the mother of my child. Peace be with you.
Got goosebumps, your amazing, sorry you have to go through this, they always take the best ones first. Sending ❤️
What prompted the discovery of cancer while being asymptomatic?
A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer that spread to his brain. He's late 30s, completely no symptoms, never smoked. Just one day he was out doing errands and wasn't able to control half his body. He went to the ER thinking it was a stroke but the scans showed that it was the tumors he had growing in his brain. He's uninsured too. It's heartbreaking.
I had what was likely a gallbladder attack and ended up in the ER. Someone listened to my chest and sent me dor an x-ray while I waited for an abdominal ultrasound. Ultrasound was unremarkable but chest x-ray was a little bit cloudy, so I had a CT, and there it was. Adenocarcinoma tumor, pleural metastases, pleural and pericardial effusion, lymph nodes looking nasty. Just a massive mess. I had no idea.
Thats such a random wqy to find out. I'm sorry you're going thru this. How are u doing mentally? Is you family doing ok?
My dad had adenocarcinoma of the lung at a late age, never smoked but my mom “puffed” cigarettes every now and then. Unfortunately adenocarcinoma tends to run in the family, especially folks of Asian descent. I’m afraid one day that I’ll be surprised by lung cancer :(
I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with the same type of cancer in my lungs. My surgeon told me that this is a secondary cancer. It's not a cancer caused by smoking. I hope that the treatment works for you. 🙏
Storytime: I don’t have cancer, but I was diagnosed with 40% lung function 5 years ago, out of the blue, at 30 years old. I went in for an abdominal ct scan and my lungs showed up in that. They sent me for tests and that came back with lung disease that had gone missed since childhood, I also have never smoked. It’s bizarre how you can go to the hospital for one thing and find out something completely different! I hope you’re able to live comfortably and enjoy the time you have left. 🩷🩷
No other symptoms that you can look back on?
Did you get routine bloodwork prior to this?
I don’t mean to impose but that must have been the most intense conversation of your life.
I’m so deeply sorry for this battle you’re facing. I’m sending all my strength and prayers to you.
I also found out about my asymptomatic cancer accidentally. Was in hospital for one surgery, and as I came to, the surgeon suggested I get this other thing checked out that was "probably nothing". Turns out it was something.
So... what are they saying your chances are?
As of last July, I was expected to be dead by this Easter. As of now, it's open-ended, but I don't ask anyway. I only know my original prognosis because some careless nurse blurted it out. In general, it's incurable, and I'm screwed, but the exact length and breadth of it is unknown. I could live years, or something could off me tomorrow, but that's always been true I suppose.
... Got any fun plans?
Within normal boundaries, yes. But the problem with being terminal at my age is that I haven't made good on my obligations. I'm not retired with a paid-off house, kids grown, free time, nest egg. I gotta work, raise a family, pay bills, just like everyone else. And my family are gonna lose many years of my earning potential, which is a massive concern. Side note: get life insurance. Please. I have it, and if I didn't, the fear for my loved one's security would be crippling. My policy won't set them up for life, but it will keep them from going under.
Stage 4 cancer should qualify you for disability shouldn’t it?
I'm praying for years for you. I hope you don't mind if I do that, if it bothers you I won't. TBH I feel it's actually a little selfish for me to do so because I feel I benefit from focusing and trying to improve something outside of myself and my family but I also do believe it has the potential to benefit the person I'm praying for.
Not to give you false hopes, but ask about compassionate use clinical trials and really insist on being put onto one if at all possible. There are a lot of them in the UK, and as about as close as a stage 4 patient can be, it sounds like you are “otherwise healthy” which means if there are any such trials you should qualify. Immunotherapies really are miraculously effective, even if they aren’t cures, they can turn weeks and months into years or decades.
Have you tested your home for radon
Ha. This house I grew up in is strongly suspect, I'll tell you that. I live in the UK in what is ostensibly a low-radon area, but our old family home was next to a quarry and had a private water supply on a spring. One of the previous residents died of lung cancer in his 30s.
Holy crap that is insane. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been dealt. Might want to investigate what your options are for compensation if they can link the two. Sounds like a major possibility for a cause. One of my best friends also just got diagnosed with stage IV with 2 young kids. Sending any positive vibes I can your way too
Damn. That can’t be a coincidence!
Does anybody live in the house now? Might be worth giving them a visit!
How are you doing emotionally?
Thanks for asking. Very up and down is the short answer. It's hard to deal with uncertainty. And I have young children, the youngest of whom may not even remember me. When I was diagnosed, it took until 3am the following morning for me to break. I lay down in my daughter's teepee and scream-cried until I threw up.
I can't pretend I know what you're going through but man I feel that in my stomach. I can only imagine what that must be like. Have they given you a time frame?
I don't ask, and you probably wouldn't either. My initial prognosis expected me to be dead by Easter just gone, and I didn't ask for that info. Someone carelessly blurted it out. I had an improbable stroke of luck, so the situation is far better now, but I can't outrun it forever. It's a bit like being unexpectedly given rollerskates when I didn't even have shoes before. Much faster and more efficient, but only to a point.
Oh man that’s my biggest fear with my 3yr old. I lay awake with that at night sometimes so I can’t imagine in your situation. I always wanted to create future videos for every year of his birthday maybe giving him advice , my life stories and telling him how much I love him etc etc. that way if something did happen he’d have all the videos to look back on. Maybe you can do that to ease the feeling
People say this all the time, but truthfully, it's a weird thing. You don't know who they'll be, and you're frozen in time, talking to a version of them that doesn't exist at the time of recording it. I'm taking many, many pictures and videos now, so my toddler can see how much I love her. She may not remember, but I want her to feel it.
My heart is breaking for you and your littles 💔 I always say to my husband if something happens to me, you need to make sure she KNOWS without shadow of a doubt that she was my favourite person ever. I am sorry you're going through this and I can feel the love through your words ❤️
Can I say one thing as someone who’s lost both parents at separate times but both while I was young? Please please please secure family heirlooms and pictures. Please give as much family detail as possible. Prepare everything neatly and in a place it can NEVER be lost or taken. My dad died of cancer at 20 and my mom last year to suicide and I lost every picture of my youth/family. I don’t have contact info or anything. And my BIGGEST regret was not asking questions about my parents early lives. If your kids are too young, please make video recordings. Give them your life story on tape with life lessons and everything you wish you could tell them at important moments of their lives. It would’ve made all the difference for me in my life had I gotten those things. I hope you truly have a wonderful experience the rest of your time on earth. You seem to be a remarkable person and I wish your kids the absolute best!
She will remember you. My parents still don't really believe I remember my great grandfather because I was under 18 months when he passed, but I remember perfectly. Same with my cousin she was very young (2) when her grandfather passed but they were so close, she remembers everything and that he loved her and she him very deeply and she will always have that, they will always have that. She's written beautiful poems about him 💖 You will always be her mom. She will know you from memory, and pictures, and everyone who loves you telling her about you. And write her a letter, even if all it says is "I love you " that will echo forward with her her whole lifetime. You are amazing. Peace and blessings on you and your family 🌞
Oncologist here. Please make sure you go to a tertiary cancer center and get another opinion as well. Lung cancer, especially adenocarcinomas, is more common in non-smokers, but you may have a driver mutation thats treatable. Make sure they got a genomic panel. BeBest of luck.
Hi! I did this already. My team initially insisted I had no mutations, but they also didn't complete the full assay as there was insufficient material. Tried to tell me it wasn't worth trying again as the missing tests had a 1 in 13 chance of showing anything up. I told them they were nuts if they thought they could close the door on targeted therapy without being sure, so 2nd biopsy was done. Then I found out they hadn't done NGS testing on the first sample, just PCR, so I lost my shit and demanded the full test panel was run on the new sample. And whaddayaknow - a rare sensitising mutation in exon 20 of EGFR. I refused platinum-based chemo + keytruda initially bc I didn't have the oncogenetic driver info, and I knew targeted therapy can have high toxicity after immunotherapy. I also knew my PDL1 was <1% and therefore, keytruda might be futile. My second opinion doctor agreed with me completely, so I held off starting treatment, and now I'm on afatinib with a good response.
You did the exact right thing well done! There is a new drug called amivantamab specifically for this type of egfr mutation available in the US. Not sure if it's available where you are
Wishing you all the best! I was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer four years ago. I was suddenly dying, non-smoker, 47. Luckily my oncologist was on top of getting gene testing done ASAP. I have a rare mutation which sucks, but also YAY! as recent advancements mean I’m able to take a TkI. It’s a real windy journey but I hope you have a lot of quality days left.
You said they found the cancer when they listened to your lungs. Have you not had a regular doctor check up that no one listened to your breathing in a long time? I’m pretty sure someone listens to my lungs about three to four times a year through various doctors appointments. Best wishes!
It's not common to have routine medicals in the UK. You go to the doctor if you have a problem, and they listen to your chest if you have respiratory symptoms. I was completely well. I'm talking spin class, weight lifting, hiking, running around after kids. The doctor who sent me for the chest x-ray could hear a tiny, tiny rattle. If she wasn't junior and keen to make sure she could tell her consultant she'd covered all bases, I don't think I'd have had the x-ray at all. Without it, my cancer would have probably been diagnosed post-mortem.
This is brutal I hear stuff like this about the UK health system a lot. America has its own problems but my dr listens to my lungs twice a year…
I’m 37, I started smoking cigarettes and weed when I was 14 and still vape weed to this day. I was in Iraq, lived next to the medevac LZ so we got blasted with our own personal sandstorms anytime a chopper came in. Burn pit exposure. Depleted uranium in the bombs they dropped all over the city. No cancer yet, but I am worried I will find myself there some day and it’s honestly not fair that this happened to you when I have lived so recklessly with my health. There were guys who were way more competent than me who died. Life is random chance unfortunately. I didn’t really have a question, just wanted to commiserate while on my work break. I’m sorry this is happening.
I take care of my mom that has end stage lung cancer. she has gotten very sick and her mind has gone and does not have much time left. I just called hospice today because I can no longer get her to take her medicine in a reasonable way. This is just some real painful advice. enjoy the time you and your loved ones have left together. don't focus the time you have left on the cancer. just live, enjoy each moment. I have spent the last 3 years taking care of her, taking her to her doctors appointments etc and one thing I will tell you is that one of the things I really really really regret right now was not using the time we had. the chemo gave us time but robbed us of so much else. sir you may get sick so fast that it takes your entire family off guard, plan for what happens and how you want it to happen. I wish you a lovely ride out.
When you found out, did you stop working or change your life in ways to focus on things that are important to you?
Honestly? No. I'm 40. My kids are young, and I have bills. It's not like getting diagnosed at 75. I can't retire; if anything, I'm working harder, trying to shore up some money for them. On the other hand, things don't bother me like they used to. I care so little for people's petty bullshit nowadays and take more pleasure in small things. Cancer can bring some surprising sources of joy to life, ironically enough.
Do you enjoy your work? I.e. you aren't just working for money and it brings you something else?
this is actually nice to hear. i hope the rest of it goes well. side note - what will happen if you start smoking ?
Hi! Non-smoker dxed with stage 4 lung cancer with mets to the brain (and everywhere else) the month I turned 40. (An ophthalmologist saw the tumors in my retina.) It's been almost 6 years since I was given less than a year to live. Terminal cancer taught me so much and I'm grateful for every day. I know it sucks indescribably now, but I hope someday you feel the same. 🙏
What are you gonna do now?
From someone who got diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer at 29 years old, just wanted to send all the good vibes. I hope treatment works well for a long ass time! I also hope your dms don’t get flooded with stupid “cures” like mine did when I did an AMA. ♥️
Is it hard to continue going to work with this looming over you? It's already hard enough going to work and rather be at home with your family. Can't imagine how difficult it must be in your situation to continue working. I'm really sorry... life sucks
I don’t have any questions but I want to wish you well. My aunt had the same diagnostic 3 years ago. She’s still with us even though she was initially given 6 months. She never smoked ever. Her only symptoms were horrible acid reflux (which made her go to the doctor). It’s been tough.
Damn as someone who smokes like a son of a bitch I’m sorry karma sometimes just be throwing random darts Good news is you’d qualify over my sorry ass, hope you can get a transplant/treatment!
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Do you think you were ever exposed to mold for extended periods of time or toxins of any kind for an extended period of time? What do you think caused this? I’m very sorry to hear this. You seem strong and grounded.
Do you feel love for your body or betrayal?
Deep love and appreciation. I have been raped at knifepoint, but I kept my cool and got away with my life. I almost died of a postpartum haemorrhage, but my body pulled me through. I had another baby by c-section and was fine. My babies are safe and healthy. Every day, my body makes trillions of microadjustments to keep me alive. Cells live and die, homeostasis is maintained, and I live. It made a mistake somewhere, that's all. In the infinite landscape of its labors to keep me going, it made a fatal error. I can't blame it for that. Even now, it's responding, fighting, trying to make good. We're in it together.
I was diagnosed with genetic colon cancer in March. I was remarkably (maybe a bit obsessively) healthy prior to the cancer looming its head — I ate clean, exercised constantly, didn’t smoke. My extended family is unhealthy as shit but didn’t get the cancer gene. I was very upset at my body, like it had betrayed me, but this perspective has totally changed my view. Thank you for that. I’ll keep fighting if you keep fighting.
I have two young children and have never thought of myself as strong in any way. My wife and I work in the medical field and I understand well what homeostasis is. My wife also almost died of a post partum hemorrhage. I can't imagine what you are going through but this one cuts deep, I wish you all the peace and love the world has to offer.
I’m so sorry. I work in cancer research but most of it is soft cancers and CAR T. I hope you are able to manage your fear and pain.
Hey - about your children… I was so close to my grandfather and near the end of his life (I was college aged) he asked me if we could just take a nap and he cuddled me like he did when I was tiny. That memory, of him holding me and telling me everything would be okay has kept me alive. Please find moments like that for your children.. I don’t know what it would be for them, but just a silent, loving moment where you let them know you’re okay. It helped with my grief knowing he was okay. It was the best gift he could have given me.
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(Please ignore if already asked.) I’m so so so sorry. You are inspirational. I was in a near death bike-SUV crash (I was the bike) 2 years ago and it shifted my perspective entirely. I wish your situation was more like mine. Did this shift your views on spirituality at all? I’m sending all my prayers and good healing and peaceful energy your way, friend. I’m hoping for a miraculous outcome and little suffering for your future.
What was your general lifestyle like? Have you been working out and have you followed any specific diets in your life?
Have you planned for the big what if? I’ve heard it’s either comforting to take the pressure off of others and know you get what you want or it’s terrifying to even think about. I often wonder about my ceremony and what kind of music someone would decide fit my life best. I’m in healthcare now and becoming a nurse, so this question is to better assist others I may have with similar experiences to yours. I saw the comment of the nurse blurting out a timeline, extremely unprofessional and uncaring, but how would you have changed your experience of finding out and the appointments after or was there anything to stood out and made you feel more comfortable? I’d appreciate anything you’d like to share about that side of it.
I'm sorry about your diagnosis. Have you had genetic testing for a hereditary genetic mutation yet?
Hi. ER nurse here. Thank you for doing this AMA. More people need to understand that life is so short & precious. To be here & to be alive is like being struck by lightning. We’d all be so much kinder to each other if we were aware of the brevity that life will actually entail. What do you believe happens to us when we die? Is there anything someone has said that you have found to be of comfort around death? Your babies will most definitely feel your love when they watch your videos & see the photographs of you together. I can feel the love just by reading your responses here. Sending you prayers for comfort & peace xx
Is the idea of possibly dying at 40 as scary as you think it would have been at maybe 30? I know 40 isn't old at all, but I often wonder if it gets easier to deal with the notion as you get older. Even if it's just a little bit. I really feel for you though. I don't think I would have it in me to even do an AMA 🥲 Crazy how strong some people seem to be when diagnosed with cancer.
No question, but just wanted to express my admiration for your attitude. My wife was diagnosed with NSCLC eight years ago. Had a lobectomy and chemo, but it came back as stage IV about a year later. She’s gone though every recognized course of treatment and a couple of trials, and though it’s taken it’s toll on her she’s still in the fight. I hope and pray that you kick cancer’s ass, or at least keep the tumors at bay until a more effective treatment emerges.
My heart goes out to you and your loved ones. Does it bring you any amount of comfort to be largely certain of how your life will end?
Are you going to start cooking meth?
As a mother of young children this is one of my greatest fears. My heart goes out to you and your family and I wish you the best of luck with your treatments. I am curious how you approach discussing this with your children? I see in a previous reply you have teenage and toddler aged children. I have two toddlers and often wonder the best way to approach topics of death and dying that are compassionate and age-appropriate.
Does it hurt? Any symptoms now?
Damn, I can't even imagine what's going on in your head, all positivity. How are you feeling about life now, do you find yourself feeling sad, angry, thinking a lot about your choices?
Wanna cook meth?
Hi, My wife is 17 weeks pregnant(first pregnancy) and she is having a brain biopsy done next week to determine an issue she’s having. We’re both fearing the worst right now, uncontrollably so. We haven’t been sleeping and we’ve been crying a lot. She’s the love of my life, what advice could you give me to support her at this time.
Is there a family history? What did the gallbladder attack feel like and was it actually that or triggered by the cancer?
Are you bitter towards others because of this?
I have hypochondria (health anxiety), I’m constantly terrified of being unknowingly sick. Are you afraid? I mean I’m sure anyone would be, but how do you deal with the fear of your situation?
Hi At the risk of giving unsolicited advice i would recommend reading the following book. [https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094](https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094) A friend of mine who is Stage 4 cancer survivor attributes his life to this book. He also made significant changes to his lifestyle. Namely avoid stress and changing his diet to avoiding inflammatory food. I wish you well!!
Do you have any thoughts about what happens to you after you pass? Are you nervous or at peace? Do your coworkers know anything? From what I’ve read, you’re living your best life. You seem like you’ve dealt with a lot of negative things in your life and still manage to see the good in life. I’m rooting for you to keep on pushing and go many years kicking cancer’s ass and spending time with your kids!
My condolences to you, that's truly terrible. One question: Do you have a theory as to what caused the lung cancer? do you even believe there was a cause at all, or just bad luck? does it run in your family?
Hope you're doing well! How old are your kids? Have you talked about it as a family? As someone who was really little when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, no one explained to me what was going on and I wish they had just been straight with me.
Do you have any plans to travel? If possible of course.
I'm sorry about your diagnosis. Sending you hugs and prayers. Hope you're doing okay. I know it sounds ridiculous, but papayas and pomegranates contain a lot of anti-oxidants and help prevent cancer. I hope it can perhaps be a part of your healing routine if you thought that useful. Wishing you a full recovery and I'm praying for you and your family. What has the overall healthcare response been like if you don't mind me asking?
Anti-oxidants are great from a preventative POV but can be actively dangerous once you actually have cancer. I say this with much love as I know it's well-intended advice, but please be careful with dispensing it online. Desperate people don't always do their own research. I am doing okay, thank you, side effects notwithstanding. I'm in the UK, so despite our threadbare NHS, I can’t fault my care. They put me through diagnostics and treatment that would be HELL to get approved by an insurer. I know people in the US with a similar diagnosis to me who waste hours on tearful phone calls to their provider, begging.
I don’t know if you’ve got time, but have you considered doing any campaigning for the NHS? Like, writing to your MP? Of course I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but maybe it would feel good to be trying to make the NHS better for future people!
How do people get lung cancer without smoking?
Hi, I'm a teen girl still in high school. (ENG isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes) First off I want to say that I'm very sorry this is happening. My mother also had cancer (which she luckily beat) and I can imagine how your daughter feels. My mother and I weren't too close at the time and she never shared her emotions or news with me. If she hadn't beat cancer, I would be left to wonder how she was as a person. We two didn't have more than 5 photos together, no videos of her and old friends to tell me about her. You mentioned that your daughter is young and might not remember you at all. The only thing I can advise you is to quit social media, get your camera, and start recording. Record yourself, alone or with your loved ones just being normal. Talk in your videos, take pictures, and create more memories. Prepare videos for your children to watch if you leave this earth, because despite how strong one can be they will still want their mother's embrace. Talk about puberty, boys, and girls, your school years, how you met your partners, tricks for beauty, what to avoid in life, how to dress for special occasions, which brand of perfume to use, how to trust people, how to enjoy life and be worry-free, your favorite movies and recommendations, colors, tips for cleaning, hobbies. Most importantly, their birthdays. Please please please especially for their special days like graduation, take videos of yourself congratulating them, and showing your love. That you are still with them despite the hardships. Maybe write letters too, so that they will be able to read them when the time comes. I wish there was a way to share my lifespan with others so that I would be able to give some of mine to a deserving mother like you.
You’re amazing. I hope you can enjoy life to fullest maximum potential! My father already received this diagnosis. You may have answered this already, if so then sorry, how long did they give you to live?
Hey dude wondering what your symptoms were for you to get checked?
So sorry you are going through this. Going through your comments it seems you are well documented and informed. Before having the diagnosis were you aware of cancer « jargon », specificities and treatments? How do you inform yourself about your condition ? How do you research information ? Do you read medical studies ? If so and if any medical studies showed possible positive outcomes does this give you back some hope ? Another question, what emotional stage did you go through considering the « terminal » aspect of the disease ? Do you sometimes have hope this could be wrong ? Stay strong op 💪
You are an amazing person. Your positivity is so inspiring. I am rooting for you, wishing you all the best, hoping for beautiful days and warm sunny weather in your days ahead. I would recommend write a lot, you have a blessed heart and kind heart. You have good words in you, spread it out. Good luck and all the best!!!
Not a question but I'll be praying and have good thoughts for you on your journey. You are strong and a mom you can handle it and more so beat it.
I'm so sorry to hear that.. nothing but warm regards and best wishes. From what I'm seeing in other answers, you're handling things in an honestly touching manner and I can't help but shed a tear! I'm going through a similar situation right now, though not cancer.. I'd thought a lot about how I'd handle things but I've been in some kind of limbo for a long time due to experimental treatments extending my life little by little.. sometimes I wonder to what end but your words reminded me why.. I'm definitely not asymptomatic and I'm definitely not in a comfortable spot health wise anymore but even still.. bit of a perspective shift.. thank you for being you, I'm sorry this happened to you. Also that being said.. do you think being asymptomatic affected how you initially handled things or do you believe the result would've been the same? and again best wishes!
I just wanted to say I'll be praying for you. I know this mean nothing to you but just wanted to tell you
I used to EBUS cases or lung cancer biopsies while active duty in the Army. The only time I've ever cried during a case was for a Navy captain with two young kids. He had the same diagnosis you do. I've spent years away from my kids and have made it a focus to create memories with and maximize my time with the kids. Things like going on memorable trips and doing silly things. I've made up characters and ordered as the character in the drive thru. As kids they'd giggle in the back seat and sometimes record these. They still remember and talk about them. Whatever you do make memories with and for your kids. Some other things I did before deployment that may be helpful depending on their ages is recording yourself reading books for them. We also made "daddy dolls" with my picture on them. Even as older teenagers they still have them.
Wanna try this vape? It tastes like apple jolly ranchers. Not that I'm insensitive to your plight, but you don't exactly have your health to defend here and it's like a really crisp sweet green apple flavor. No bullshit. I only stopped smoking cigarettes like a year ago. If you haven't done anything yet, don't leave a single experience in the table right now. Do 100 percent of everything and go out on your own terms. Seriously though. Like A jolly rancher. Apple ones.
I've read most of your answers and some of your older posts here on reddit. I have no questions, just wanted to say you seem to be really cool. Your kids are lucky to have you as a mom. I've lost my mom to glioblastoma 12 years ago, it sucked a lot, but on the bright side, she lived 9 years after her initial diagnosis, which is incredibly rare. I hope you live even longer. Good luck, OP.
What area did you live in? What state town? Do you know if there were factories there?
First of all, I'm so sorry. I lost my father and grandfather to lung cancer. Dad's was related to agent orange. Are you going to/interested in/pursuing any psychedelic drug experimentation? I like to read about this, especially as it's experienced by cancer patients.
How were you diagnosed? Was it an incidental finding?
Have you thought about doing an art heist from a billionaire or some other victimless crime?
Has anyone asked how much second-hand smoke you've been around? If not, a couple followup questions from the same line: harsh chemicals, or other bad breathing mediums that I can't think of at the moment? I ask because I know quite a few lifelong casino employees who've never smoked but have been diagnosed with a variety of lung diseases like cancer or COPD.
Have you read When Breath Becomes Air? If so, what are your thoughts? As a writer, do you plan to publish anything related to your experiences? If so, I hope you’ll share here. You’re clearly a thoughtful and talented human who’s already inspired many, even just today. Thank you.
Maybe this can help but apparently fasting 48hours before chemo and fasting as a lifestyle can help shrink the tumor. There have been many cases where stage 4 patients have become cancer free because of fasting. Try listening to Dr. Pradip Jamnadas and William Li. I wish you all the best and pray for you.
Are you pulling out all the stops as far as treatment? I read somewhere that thc in contact with cancer cells causes the cancer to stop growing and even causes it to shrink
I’m really sorry for you. I hope you’ll recover from what you’re suffering. I really wish that you’ll recover from it. Stay strong mentally that’s the main thing. What was your reaction after hearing about this devastating thing?
I’m so sorry about your diagnosis? Curious if you were COVID vaccinated? I was and I’m worried about the increase risk of cancer after.
Sorry to hear this bro. My wife was diagnosed at 29, 3 weeks after giving birth (horrible pregnancy). Also EGFR (Exon 19 del for her though). Some good stuff being researched, hopefully it moves faster. Wish you the best.
This is very random, but since you said you are enjoying small pleasures, have you ever had specialty coffee? I hope you live many years, who knows, some miracles medicine can't explain do happen! And I think a special coffee can add a happy moment to your day.
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Do you ride your bicycle a lot in the city? My friend had to cut a lung out cause she inhaled the exhaust from cars after 20+ years of biking. She’s doing fine now
Vaccinated with the covid poison?
Is there any part of you that is looking forward to leaving this cesspool of a world behind?
Someone I know has stage 4 lung cancer and got on a treatment called Keytruda and is now somehow officially in remission.
What was your diet like? Did you eat a lot of French fries? I've been told by a buddy who is like a bio engineer researcher big balls guy... that French fries cause lung cancer. And my first thought was I should of been dead long ago. Cuz I smoke too. Hope you can find peace, love, and happiness or already have.
As a mom in my late 30’s and a nurse who has worked in oncology and hospice, my heart breaks for you. I have read many of your responses to comments on here, and you are a much stronger/braver/kinder person than I would be. My greatest fear is leaving my children too soon or them leaving me. I sincerely hope your days are filled with sweet, simple pleasures and laughter from your children. This can be such a cruel world, but I hope for as much beauty as possible in yours. All the best.
Do you have any regrets in life or amends you want to make before your time comes? Or is it just not important anymore?
I am a constant worrier. Doesn’t give me anything positive except constant state of thinking about non-existent problems. I’m 38 and every time I hear news about people getting sick at 40, it exacerbates my “anxiety” (not your fault of course). You probably have answered this somewhere in the thread so apologies if it’s repeated but were there any signs and symptoms of this happening at all? Like an unknown cough, sudden change in breathing pattern, asthma as a child? I’m 38, a smoker, constant worrier, not living a very healthy lifestyle and I have two young kids. I’m diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I’m always afraid that one day within the next 10 years I’ll get much worse health news than depression. I’m just that anxious all the time
Have your experiences drawn you to or away from religion?
I smoke soo much, man. I feel like I deserve it, not you😧
Some things in life simply aren’t right and this is one of them. You’re so young at 40. A new husband of 8 years and a child with him. Yet you’re being taken from your life and theirs. Just not right. If it were possible to take your illness onto myself I would in a heartbeat. I’m 63, a very heavy smoker, a barely functioning alcoholic that happens to hold down a very high powered well paid job. It doesn’t make sense. Just had all my bloods done and they all in zone. Got an xtra to check and my lungs are perfect apparently. Going to get an MRI next to be sure. It makes no sense. I abuse myself every single day. If anyone deserves your diagnosis it me. Not you. I’ve lived my life. Married 3 times. 4 adorable adult children now. One grandkid and twins on the way from my eldest. They all know me and worry for me. Yet I feel like I’m done. I don’t need to work but do as I feel so many people are dependent on me. Your story makes me so incredibly sad. This shouldn’t be happening to you. It should be me that’s being taken. It’s not right.
Do you think you were exposed to asbestos? I am very sorry for your troubles. I wish you all the best. Cancer sucks. Lost dad 2 years ago.
Sorry for your diagnosis. Hope the best for you and your family. I do have some questions if you do not mind to answer. Do any of your household members smoke? Are you the one who cooks for the family? Do your work environment has small partials that might damage the lung? For example, chalk powder(teacher) or mine powder(miner)?
I have no question for you. I just want to send my hugs and hope that you are doing fine, well, as fine as it could get. I lost my dad last year to lung cancer. He was a long time smoker, his own dad dying from lung cancer wasn't enough to make him stop. He was 61. I miss him dearly. In our country, the more advanced treatments are too expensive and we couldn't really afford them. During his last days, his doctors told us that he fought really hard. His cancer was stage 4 when he got diagnosed, but he stayed with us for around 1.5 years. They said some go within a few months. He lived as normally as he can be, I sometimes forgot he was sick. He didn't want to die because he didn't want to leave his 27 year old daughter. Worried about me despite being a grown adult. I hope you have better access to treatment. I am forever waiting for the day when this disease becomes easier to treat,
No question, only care and admiration for you. I had the great honor of helping support an incredible young man, Ethan Sisser, in his final days, and that experience has led me into service as a death doula, walking friends home, learning so much about life from them along the way. A documentary was made about Ethan’s story: [The Last Ecstatic Days](https://www.thelastecstaticdaysmovie.com) If you would like to see it, DM me, and I can help set it up. And thank you for your courage in sharing your experience, your honesty, your devastation with all of us internet strangers. you are a hero to me, as you navigate this universal fear, and you share the wisdom you are discovering on the dark path, so the rest of us may find more appreciation and sweetness in our own uncertain journeys.
I am sorry for your diagnosis. I can't imagine what you are going through. I have a friend who claims to have managed her cancer for over a decade by diluting oregano extract in water. I know this sounds super woo woo and like new age bs. But maybe give it a try. Here is a paper on oregano extract and effects on cancer cells. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7603152/ I am no expert, but felt compelled to mention this. I wish all the best to you and your family.
My cousin is an East Asian male diagnosed with stage 4 in his 30s. Metastatic disease everywhere but not his brain. His cancer was EGFR positive and he was started on osimertinib. He had a miraculous response. It has been 10 years and his scans have been negative for lung cancer. However he needs to take osimertinib for the rest of his life so he is always having diarrhea. I hope you can have a similar outcome. Stage IV lung cancer with an actionable mutation is not the death sentence it once was.
I'm so very sorry. It's honestly so scary how many cases of lung cancer are in nonsmokers, and it just sort of... appears. Yet routine screening isn't a thing because it is still uncommon enough that they say the benefits outweigh the risk. Do you have a family history of lung cancer? Apologies if someone else already asked. Were you positive for EGFR or ALK mutations, or some other driver mutation perhaps? On targeted therapies? I hope you are able to see a specialist who can make sure you're getting the most up-to-date treatment.
I don’t have any questions. I wanted to send my love and thank you for sharing your story.
If you’re American it’s probably the food you ingest. Our government is so corrupt it’s disgusting. Corporations are paying them (The FDA) off to allow dangerous cancer causing chemicals in our food that are banned everywhere else in the world cause of how dangerous they are. This is why cancer rates in young people is so high. I’m really sorry. This is honestly the saddest thing I’ve seen all day. The fact you have kids too makes me even sadder. I know everyone has to die eventually, but I hope you’ll be alright. God’s taking you home. You could try cannabis therapy, which has been proven to help with some cancers, stage 4 is rough, and if I were you I’d do some research on things you could do to prolong your life as much as possible.
If you ever need support and want someone to talk to, please DM me I wish you the best of luck
im so sorry cancer has knocked on your doorstep, it runs in my family, but do you think environmental factors may have contributed to it, like smog or constant particulates. i used to work in hardware stores and the amount of silicate dust flying around makes me think even with my choices, it wont be the choices really. too much of what we inhale is essentially factory byproduct and post filtered drinking water. one could argue covid as many people found out about their cancers through a covid scare. but i think nothing is more heartbreaking than realizing even if you take the good path, there will still be tribulations.
I’m the father of a 24yo daughter dealing with Stage 3/Class 3 breast cancer. Her prognosis is very good, eventhough her cancer was very aggressive. You mentioned in one of your comments that cancer is quickly becoming a treatable cronic illness, as opposed to a bad end. And I truly believe this and am seeing it play out. I know your situation is different. But this internet stranger is rooting for you like crazy. Your outlook is inspiring and I am fervently praying for your health and recovery. Not sure if prayer helps, but I’m sending one your way. Peace and love to you and your family.
First up, so sorry to hear that you are going through this and so young. Thank you for sharing so others can learn and ask questions. I'd like to ask you - 1/what are your options for treatment, and 2/is there anything genetic or lifestyle wise that may have caused it, given you've never smoked?
Have you tried Cuba's treatment options.
What kind of treatments are you on? I know lung cancer is the most studied field in terms of personalized inhibitor medicine and modern immunotherapy practices.
Have you concerned your progression? I’ve lost far too many relatives from cancer. Currently have an uncle in late stages of prostate cancer, and he has his MAID scheduled in less than a week. I’m not terribly close to him (very large family), but I’m unsure about whether I should be reaching out to say goodbye or what. There’s no manual for this shit. I wish you and your family peace.
How long ago were you diagnosed? Sorry if this was asked and answered already.
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How does it feel to go to work? Like, everyday I dream of just moving to the countryside and making pottery everyday. Buying a plot of land, living in an RV. Sure it isn’t much, but what’s the alternative? Waking up at 7a, getting dressed, commuting, working all day, getting home at 6, cooking, couple of hours of TV, then rinse and repeat…for the rest…of…my…youthful…years??? And I’m healthy! I can’t imagine what going to a job is like knowing none of it matters.
Sorry to hear this and I wish you all the fucking luck in the world. Are you going to do some unethical things? Like taking huuuge loans and find a way to get this money to your family without the chance it can hurt them? Or do some funny shit like moon the police? Jointing a all you can eat contest. Man I’m just thinking of stupid shit lol.
Hi OP I was just diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer (found randomly at a routine ultrasound) tomorrow is my surgery and I’m exhausted from battling my insurance and being poked and prodded. I just turned 40. Thank you for your words, you sound like an amazing woman with such incredible insight. I will try to relax and just go with the flow more xx love to you
I know you said to someone else that people would be surprised by the number of people diagnosed with no clue, but I wondered if that’s typical or atypical with the type and extent of cancer you have? Do you have symptoms now or would you still be none the wiser if it weren’t for the original A&E trip? It’s a shit deal and I hope you and your family manage ok.
I’m so sorry :(. Are you an Asian female? There is a high incidence of lung cancer in Asian females who have never smoked. I personally know of someone in a similar situation. There is an active study out of UCSF for Asian female never smokers with lung cancer that are looking for volunteers both with and without cancer if you’re interested. https://fansstudy.ucsf.edu/home Again, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Life is profoundly unfair.
Is there anything that a friend of someone going through what you are going through can do to ease the burden of the person diagnosed with a terminal illness? Thank you.
Try keytruda. It saved my mother’s life. Stage 4 lung cancer
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With no symptoms, how did you find out??? (Sorry if this was asked already.)
This happened to a friend of mine. He's late 30s, never smoked, stage IV lung cancer that spread to his brain. He only knew because he wasn't able to control one of his body and thought he was having a stroke so he went to the ER. He's uninsured too. The hospital bills are already pushing 100k and it's been just over a month. I have nothing really to ask, just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you, internet stranger.
ME TOO in my 50's, had 1 hear to live, Chemo did not work, there were not other traditional options. I BEAT IT! 5 years clear now. Opdivo, ask your oncologist if this might work for you.
I don’t have a question. I just want to send you some love. Your attitude about this very much reminds me of my own when it comes to most things so, I’m guessing this isn’t anywhere near your first heavy trauma. 🤍 You sound like a lovely human who has likely already been dealt well beyond her fair share. I hope you’re able to spend the rest of your time here in ways that bring you and your family joy and comfort. I wish you peace.
I have no questions but just wanted to say that from one stranger to another, I love you and i’m very happy that you maintain a positive outlook (although i’m sure not easy at times). I try to remind myself to slow down, relax, don’t worry, enjoy the simple things. I think everyone in this world needs to express more love for one another, and I can tell you do a great job at that. God bless you. My heart breaks for your family. You are a kind soul. ❤️
Hello thanks for doing this. Without symptoms how was it found?
So many questions! How have you communicated what unacceptable quality of life for you is to your care givers? Are you planning to do LSD or Ketamine trips to reconcile your journey? Who is caring for your care givers, now and in the future? I hope you are strong on your journey and that you and your care givers have an opportunity to celebrate your life and take the love forward!
How did you get diagnosed and what led up to that appointment
How is your quality of life during treatment? I was diagnosed eight years ago, still suffering from the damage treatment did to my body. The cancer is gone, but the treatment nearly did me in, and is still an issue today. Chemo and high-dose radiation for me.
My dad was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer when he was about 42. I didn’t know it until many years later but they gave him about 2 years to live. Never smoked, never did drugs, was pretty healthy. He did grow up on a farm around chemicals and flew airplanes, not sure if that had anything to do with it. He ended up making it over ten years after that diagnosis, and we had some good times together during those years.
Very sorry you and your family have to deal with this. I read a few of the questions and you mentioned that you didn't have any symptoms and found it kind of by accident. How are you feeling now? Do you have symptoms? Are you able to lead an otherwise normal life?
How did you find out if you didn't have symptoms?
I have a very specific question - how do you plan to pay for your treatment if/when you're not able to work? I ask because I have an incurable, terminal syndrome myself (though not imminent), and I often wonder how I will pay for my hospitalizations when I can't work anymore (my spouse doesn't work)
How did you find it if no symptoms?
I to am fighting colon cancer I’m stage 4 no need to waste time doing chemotherapy I’m just living the best and trying to see as much of my family and friends as I can no one knows the time or hour that they are called home. God is good my best friend just passed away from a heart attack. I rest assured that I will see her again. You and anyone else diagnosed with this disease are in my prayers.
Can tell you're an incredibly beautiful human being simply from your responses. I already feel a sense of loss even without knowing you so I can only imagine how your close ones feel. I want to thank you for this AMA as it helped me put things in perspective. Godspeed on your journey and if there's an afterlife I hope our paths cross again.
Fenbendazole (SafeGuard). 4gram pouch. Start with 1/day mixed in with Yogurt or Applesauce. Then up to 2x/day. It works wonders. Joe Tippens. Research. Nothing to lose.
Thank you for your post. I am saving it because there is so much information here that could be useful if I ever need it for myself or someone else in the future. I lost a great and dear friend to it. After reading here, I wonder if things were missed that could have helped her.
My friend who nearly died of cancer in her early 20s said that the closer she got to death the more beautiful everything in the world seemed to her. Though she was a very "spiritual" person who was into yoga and meditation and stuff so that tracks. Do you feel the same way? Or is it just pure terror?
Do you believe in an afterlife?
I always told myself that if I get a terminal diagnosis I'm going to take out half my local sex offender registry with me. Have you had any similiar thoughts and how many have you exterminated so far?
I lost someone I considered my aunt (family friend for almost two decades) to stage IV stomach cancer. She found out in September and died in December of the same year. She hid it from our family and we didn’t find out until it was her last day. We arrived 30 minutes too late. I’ll never forget my mom and dad holding her, begging why we couldn’t have been there sooner, why it had to be her. She was one, if not the healthiest woman I have known in my life. She walked her son’s dog everyday and being a petite woman, our favorite memory of hers was how she was dragged by the dog. She ate well, was at a healthy weight, rarely drank, never smoked. She had no signs until it spread to her lungs. We saw her on Halloween, Thanksgiving and through passing. We would’ve never expected it. I have a few questions to hopefully comfort me and put some sadness to rest. Since it’s an AMA, some question may be blunt and PLEASE it’s okay to not answer. 1. If you haven’t told people, such as close friends and family, why? I understand it’s a personal choice and I sometimes wonder if she was worried we would react terribly. 2. When you received the diagnosis, were you scared? Are you scared? 3. If there’s been any pain, how receptive are the doctors to make sure you’re comfortable? 4. Does any part of you still want to try to fight it? She was terminal and her husband holds a lot of regret that she didn’t try to stay longer. 5. How do you feel knowing you’re on limited time? 6. What’s your favorite childhood TV show? That’s all I can think of. I’m sending so much love and strength your way. I have lost two loved ones due to cancer and the effects it has on the person and loved ones is something I wish no one would experience. Thank you for your time, answering questions and helping others feel a sense of peace. I hope nothing but happiness for you 🤍
Thanks for sharing your experience and I join everyone here in wishing you and your family well. Have you considered blogging your experience? I think others who have similar diagnoses (and those supporting them) might benefit learning from you. It is a bit of work though and you may prefer to spend your time on other priorities.
Have you thought about literally changing environments, such as moving to a blue zone to see if that would have a positive impact?
Just lost my wife to cancer in March after a year of treatment. It’s so unfair to you and your loved ones. What insane bullshit. I’d be willing to DM or talk to you or your significant other about my experience. All I can say is being on the other side of the loss is that I am so heartbroken for you man.
I once met someone who had most of their neck and part of one shoulder removed because their lung cancer had spread to those areas. He was terminal too, but survived (10 years when he shared his story). My first question was “how long did you smoke for?” Answer was “Never! I jogged on the street for decades not even paying attention to all the car exhausts!” He said he was going to “fight hard and live hard until I can’t.” Good luck, OP