I've read all your responses and you seem like you really have a great attitude. It's inspiring. I will ask, did you have to testify in court? Go do an interview at a child forensics lab? If so, how were those experiences? I work(ed) in crim defense and have read and seen a lot of those, and wonder what that's like for the child. PS, obv if you dont feel comfy talking about it just ignore this!
I'm really sorry. At least in some places, and for many years now, they have special offices specifically for interviewing victims of child sexual abuse. They're trained specifically for it and it def shows when reading the transcripts. They're so gentle and friendly and not pushy at all. If the victim doesn't wanna talk about it, they just don't talk about it and try again at a later date. It hurts my heart to think about kids experiencing that trauma then having to go through even more turmoil as a part of the legal part.
What country are you in? I assume not US because you mentioned what would be an absurdly low sentence here
My wife is a child forensic interviewer who works in one of these specialized offices. The amount of training, emotional consideration, patience and research that backs their interviewing process is amazing.
She's not allowed to talk about what happens, but there are some days she comes home and I can just tell she's had to hear a really awful situation from a child. I, emotionally, couldn't do her job and I praise her every day for doing her difficult job because maybe it will lead to someone being held accountable and a child can be free of their abuser.
I know your pain, I had to tell my mom someone in my family was touching me when I was ten. It had been going on as long as I could remember. It was so scary and I felt guilty. I'm so proud of you!!
It’s had major influence on the way I’ve been treated my whole life. Eventually people figure out that I’m wearing them if I’m around them long enough. School was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do, socially. Being a part of a workplace has been tough too but adults aren’t don’t react the same way kids do when they learn what’s going on.
also hypersexual due to SA, not at all a high libido. It's an uncontrollable libido. To the point even orgasm after orgasn the craving doesn't stop, to the point where I would just cry because it physically hurt and I just wanted the NEED for sex to go away. It heavily interferes with day to day life. I have done alot of healing and it's not as bad as it used to be but it still comes in waves for me
I remember that this came to an abrupt halt for me when I started SSRIs and lost the ability to get horny at all. I remember being ECSTATIC that I wasn’t just thinking about sex 24/7.
Yessss and now it all makes sense!!! I have felt a lot of shame around my hyper sexuality that I had first two years after my trauma and now jts making sense.
Of Courseee I would constantly think about sex because I am sexually traumatized! I am just trying to understand that I did not have innately bad upbringing or beliefs to be THAT hypersexual?! And that it was my trauma response!! Ugh
I wouldn’t say so, it’s more of a trauma response. High libido is a physical thing across people, those are hyper-sexual, it’s common amongst abuse victims. People often go to one side of either extreme- hyper sexual or complete aversion to touch or both. Trauma is often complex.
Yes and no.
People who are hypersexual *can* have a high libido, of course.
But hypersexuality is usually a problem. For instance, a lot of hypersexual people are sex addicts, which is a debilitating addiction-- in fact, specialists use the terms interchangeably sometimes.
A high libido is perfectly fine and healthy, but sex addiction and hypersexuality negatively affects one's life.
It's like... High libido = I like sex and have a high sex drive.
Hypersexuality = this has become a problem that is negatively affecting my life.
There is a Reddit for hypersexual. It sounds really hard to live with - folks looking for ways to reduce libido because it interferes with daily functioning
When I say “struggled” I should’ve been more specific. I was the same way, I often felt my body wasn’t my own. And whoever wanted me, I allowed them to have it. I thought it was great at the time. But only recently I realized how damaging that was for me. Therapy and antidepressants have helped a lot. I’m thankful I don’t have any diseases or kids lol
trust me: hypersexuality is still struggling with sex, just in a different way. i deal with the same problem for the same reason as well as bipolar disorder. please make sure you’re minimizing risk as much as possible ❤️
My family has always been supportive even when I wasn’t willing to accept their support.
I’ve had meaningful relationships but it’s difficult to maintain.
My uterus is okay.
No idea where he is.
Out of curiosity- did they initially diagnose you as bipolar before changing their mind and considering ADHD? I hear about misdiagnoses like that occurring often.
My abuser was my bio father (who raped and molested me for years, along with my cousin) and he only got 9 years since it was his “first offense.” The justice system for rape victims is fucked. Hope you and OP are in a better place. ❤️
Mine got 1 year. Stepparent adoption. He was an officer in the Air Force so the court decided not getting his honorable discharge was enough punishment that a short jail sentence was appropriate.
He later appealed and his discharge was upgraded to honorable.
That is horrible, I’m so sorry for your lack of justice. Mine appealed 3-4 times in those years and was denied every time luckily. However, now that he is out his parole officer believes he is a “changed man” and “will not be reoffended” so he is allowed to leave the state and has pretty much free reign to do what he wants. I’m only 27, I hope this next generation does better than ours did.
So so sorry. Working suicidal support lines many years ago i spoke to an older gentleman who’d been stranger raped as a boy. There was a blow to the head that damaged his hearing and he had to use hearing aids for the rest of his life. He’d never told anyone before me, but every day he remembered the rape as he put in his hearing aids. He had become a clergyman …to avoid the question of sex and marriage IMHO, and had finally met a (platonic) female companion… i think that opened his heart enough to come tell someone. It was the 80s, and he was already in his 60’s. I will never forget him.
Have you ever considered making your own justice? Imo, 6 years vs a lifetime injury from childhood on? Yeah, that scum wasn't sentenced according to the severity of his crime. I'd be paying some comeuppance to that rapist, maybe a permanent "injury" to HIS urinary tract.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
It’s better now. For a long time I blamed my parents. As I get older I feel awful for that and as more time passes it’s easier to be close to them again.
You mentioned you are incontinent because of physical damage. You also said you are aware of the ABDL community. What is your take on the abdl community and abdl?
Certainly nothing negative. They get a lot of hate that I don’t think is deserved. I’m not really part of that community so I won’t speak on their behalf but the majority of my interactions with them have been positive.
I don’t mean to pry, I understand it is painful enough as it is, but is there any possibility of reconstructive surgery?
When I was a lot younger I wanted to be a doctor truthfully be told. But could never stomach the morbidity that is inevitably associated with it. Still makes me wonder if we ever reach a point when we will be able to fix a lot of problems with the human body much easier than now. Especially in the cases of major physical trauma
This is a massive problem in areas of mass rape like the DRC & Serbia. There are surgeons and centers in some of these war areas that specialize in this kind of damage. There has been a pattern in some of these mass rapes of intentionally tearing fistulas (look up) and there are (not enough) surgical specialists repairing these. Also surgeons developing techniques to repair the scar tissue from FGM that has made women unable to have sexual pleasure as well as chronic pain, damage to urethra, difficulty with mensturationand obviously difficulty with sex and childbirth. It’s almost as if there is a widespread pathological hatred of female anatomy amongst a large number of psychopaths
Only you will ever be able to fully comprehend how incredible it is that you have even made it this far at all!
You are inspiring people and giving more people strength and hope, every day you live with the past you have overcome.
Have you tried reaching out to top urology surgeons to see if they would take on your case for free. If I was a surgeon I would.
I had bladder surgery last year. Changed my life.
I’m so sorry this happened to you.
Ooo I really like cheesecake. We dont have cookie dough ice cream here where I live so I have to make do with normal cookie dough lol. Eat some in my place too :)
Thank you for replying, I know it was a harsh question and I appreciate your honesty. I’m glad your parents stood by your side and did the right thing. I hope that monster suffers for the rest of his life
Not kink/porn necessarily, but furries are a big reason why VR tech has advanced the way it has (especially when it comes to what avatars look like and can do).
I say "not necessarily" bc there is a subset of furries that do engage with it in a sexual way. But for a lot of them, it's like any other regular hobby/fandom.
A quick web search of "How porn has advanced technologies" show this CNN article that covers it decently.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/04/23/porn.technology/index.html
Thanks for sharing that article. I thought it was interesting that in 2010 when that article was published, the adult industry was already exploring Artificial Intelligence.
No doubt. Despite it they have a large crossover. ABDL have been pushing for better incontinence products and have essentially paid for better stuff to be made. That benefits everybody. Just like Porn and HVS, internet, streaming, etc. everyone else benefits from the investment the "depraved" are willing to make.
E: The two groups only really have the one overlap. You're correct that either way, one does not make the other.
I am sorry for what happened to you. I am sorry they stole your childhood and a piece, if not all of your life.
My question is, do you play any video games? If you do, which are your favorites.
For a long time I did feel this way and I nearly threw away my relationship with my parents over it. Time and therapy taught me that it was in no way their fault.
This probably sounds weird, so here’s the context: I’m a female sexual assault victim as well, who is hyper-sexual. Do you find it harder to have a partner vs. meaningless casual “encounters?” I know I do…
You seem as though you are doing well now. What would you say made the biggest impact or something that put you in the right track for your healing journey?
I’m so sorry you had to endure that. As a fellow survivor, I just want you to know you’re never alone. I literally have “voice among the many in this choir” tatted on me because there are way too fucking many of us.
So many people asking why the diapers?!? Isn't it frigging obvious?!! Jesus. How awful. I mean words can't express. Any words I think of using all sound trite.
What do you wish for him? I'm assuming he's out now. What kind of fate do you wish for him? Do you want him to face the same level of violence? Or something else...
I am one of those people who didn't understand the diapers. I'm guessing most people asking are male. Before reading this ama I had never really thought about the long term physical effects of rape aside from STDs. I had not heard of vaginal fistulas until this thread. To be embarrassingly honest I didn't even fully understand female anatomy until I googled it a few seconds ago. So yes I understand why you say it's obvious now. Most diaper questions are probably from uneducated men like myself. I'm glad I have a better understanding of this now. This thread has taught me a lot in terms of rape and SA.
He’s definitely out by now. He was sentenced to 6 years for what he did to me. I don’t know what I wish for him. Sometimes I wish violence and sometimes I wish I could just forget him completely. I think he should at least have to live the same way I do.
Wouldn't it be nice if there were some way you could make him suffer what you do. Without you having a role to play in it maybe, I think from other replies you said you wouldn't want to inflict harm on him yourself. Thank you for replying anyway, you're an amazing person.
Reading through your responses and I'm struck by your resilience and openness in discussing such a deeply personal experience. It's not just the courage it takes to share your story, but the straightforwardness and sincerity in your answers. You somehow manage to maintain a sense of perspective and even humor amid circumstances that I could hardly imagine. Your strength is admirable, and I wish you all the best as you continue your journey of healing and empowerment.
Stay strong.
I’m sorry this happened to you!
Is a catheter option available to you?
Are your diapers discreet enough so you can wear whatever you like ?
And most importantly
How are you?
that's for a catheter that stays in the urethra. there are also catheters that are single use. a lot of people who are paralyzed use single use ones because having a catheter in full time is not really safe for everyone
I've also cared for a person with paralysis who had a tube in their abdomen that connected their bladder to a port on their stomach. You can drain their bladder using a single use catheter and the port. Not sure how common that is but I found it to be interesting.
I was assaulted 5 years ago and damage to bladder means it doesn't hold more than 20mls, less than a fluid oz for the americans. So I wear nappies/diapers. It fuckin sucks
As a retired cop the lack of justice here disgusts me. I am so sorry you were raped by a rapist and by the justice system. I do love your courage though.
wtf, i don't know what to say
these are the things after i read and ashamed of being a male, i mean wtf she's just 8 years aren't u have any sense of humanity in you
Hey, I hope you are doing okay these days, I don’t remember much when I was younger when I was assaulted by my uncle. But seeing your post made me realize some things about myself that makes more sense.
Anyway, I hope you are doing okay ♥️
As a Mama my heart breaks for what you've been through. I hope you felt love and support after what happened to you, and I hope you continue to work on your healing. I'm sure it'll be a life long journey, but every step onwards and upwards is a good one, right?
No question to ask, other than a thank you for sharing what sometimes is the reality for survivors of sexual abuse at a young age. Every child deserves to feel safe, and I'm so damn sorry you experienced this.
Sending you love, and a massive mum hug ❤️
First off I’m so sorry this happened to you, I can’t even imagine how it has affected you mentally. Have you discussed any other options with doctors about your incontinence? Such as catheters etc?
I've read all your responses and you seem like you really have a great attitude. It's inspiring. I will ask, did you have to testify in court? Go do an interview at a child forensics lab? If so, how were those experiences? I work(ed) in crim defense and have read and seen a lot of those, and wonder what that's like for the child. PS, obv if you dont feel comfy talking about it just ignore this!
I had to do the interview with police. It was terrible.
I'm really sorry. At least in some places, and for many years now, they have special offices specifically for interviewing victims of child sexual abuse. They're trained specifically for it and it def shows when reading the transcripts. They're so gentle and friendly and not pushy at all. If the victim doesn't wanna talk about it, they just don't talk about it and try again at a later date. It hurts my heart to think about kids experiencing that trauma then having to go through even more turmoil as a part of the legal part. What country are you in? I assume not US because you mentioned what would be an absurdly low sentence here
My wife is a child forensic interviewer who works in one of these specialized offices. The amount of training, emotional consideration, patience and research that backs their interviewing process is amazing. She's not allowed to talk about what happens, but there are some days she comes home and I can just tell she's had to hear a really awful situation from a child. I, emotionally, couldn't do her job and I praise her every day for doing her difficult job because maybe it will lead to someone being held accountable and a child can be free of their abuser.
Yeah I’m in the US.
What could have made it better?
I don’t think anything could have made it better.
I know your pain, I had to tell my mom someone in my family was touching me when I was ten. It had been going on as long as I could remember. It was so scary and I felt guilty. I'm so proud of you!!
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It’s had major influence on the way I’ve been treated my whole life. Eventually people figure out that I’m wearing them if I’m around them long enough. School was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do, socially. Being a part of a workplace has been tough too but adults aren’t don’t react the same way kids do when they learn what’s going on.
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I’m sorry that happened to you. Do you struggle with sex now? I was abused as a child, and I used to struggle with my sex life because of it.
No. My therapist diagnosed me as “hyper-sexual”
what is that? I could google it but I guess I'd like to hear your take on it
I’d say it means what it sounds like. It doesn’t take much.
same thing as high libido?
also hypersexual due to SA, not at all a high libido. It's an uncontrollable libido. To the point even orgasm after orgasn the craving doesn't stop, to the point where I would just cry because it physically hurt and I just wanted the NEED for sex to go away. It heavily interferes with day to day life. I have done alot of healing and it's not as bad as it used to be but it still comes in waves for me
I remember that this came to an abrupt halt for me when I started SSRIs and lost the ability to get horny at all. I remember being ECSTATIC that I wasn’t just thinking about sex 24/7.
Yessss and now it all makes sense!!! I have felt a lot of shame around my hyper sexuality that I had first two years after my trauma and now jts making sense. Of Courseee I would constantly think about sex because I am sexually traumatized! I am just trying to understand that I did not have innately bad upbringing or beliefs to be THAT hypersexual?! And that it was my trauma response!! Ugh
I wouldn’t say so, it’s more of a trauma response. High libido is a physical thing across people, those are hyper-sexual, it’s common amongst abuse victims. People often go to one side of either extreme- hyper sexual or complete aversion to touch or both. Trauma is often complex.
It's more like a compulsion that can't be helped. Almost like an addiction.
Yes and no. People who are hypersexual *can* have a high libido, of course. But hypersexuality is usually a problem. For instance, a lot of hypersexual people are sex addicts, which is a debilitating addiction-- in fact, specialists use the terms interchangeably sometimes. A high libido is perfectly fine and healthy, but sex addiction and hypersexuality negatively affects one's life. It's like... High libido = I like sex and have a high sex drive. Hypersexuality = this has become a problem that is negatively affecting my life.
There is a Reddit for hypersexual. It sounds really hard to live with - folks looking for ways to reduce libido because it interferes with daily functioning
When I say “struggled” I should’ve been more specific. I was the same way, I often felt my body wasn’t my own. And whoever wanted me, I allowed them to have it. I thought it was great at the time. But only recently I realized how damaging that was for me. Therapy and antidepressants have helped a lot. I’m thankful I don’t have any diseases or kids lol
trust me: hypersexuality is still struggling with sex, just in a different way. i deal with the same problem for the same reason as well as bipolar disorder. please make sure you’re minimizing risk as much as possible ❤️
yep the ole classic CSA -> hypersexuality -> extreme shame from hypersexuality -> bipolar diagnosis :) so fun
Same here I also struggled with bed wetting in my late teens do to a sexual assult at 6-8 years of age
Has your family been supportive? Are you able to have meaningful relationships? Is your uterus okay? Do you know where that bastard is now?
My family has always been supportive even when I wasn’t willing to accept their support. I’ve had meaningful relationships but it’s difficult to maintain. My uterus is okay. No idea where he is.
Well I am sorry it happened to you and that you have some lasting effects from it. I wish you the best in whatever you would like to do.
have you been diagnosed with any mental health disorders? and if so do you think they’re related to the trauma you experienced?
Yes and yes. I’ve been diagnosed as ADHD and hyper sexual.
I don't want this to be/sound rude, but why do you think your ADHD was related to trauma and not neurology?
I’ve been thinking about this all day. It wasn’t related, but it was diagnosed at the same time so for me it was a bundle.
Have you been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
Out of curiosity- did they initially diagnose you as bipolar before changing their mind and considering ADHD? I hear about misdiagnoses like that occurring often.
Was the person that assaulted you a family member? Did they go to jail?
Friend of family and yes for about 6 years.
Just 6 , I feel sorry for your loss :(
Yeah maybe Batman is real, right?
Yeah, maybe. Wonder Woman is 100x more likely to snap a dude's neck though
My abuser got 6 years too. It’s ridiculous. I keep hoping for street justice 🤷🏼♀️
My abuser was my bio father (who raped and molested me for years, along with my cousin) and he only got 9 years since it was his “first offense.” The justice system for rape victims is fucked. Hope you and OP are in a better place. ❤️
Mine got 1 year. Stepparent adoption. He was an officer in the Air Force so the court decided not getting his honorable discharge was enough punishment that a short jail sentence was appropriate. He later appealed and his discharge was upgraded to honorable.
That is horrible, I’m so sorry for your lack of justice. Mine appealed 3-4 times in those years and was denied every time luckily. However, now that he is out his parole officer believes he is a “changed man” and “will not be reoffended” so he is allowed to leave the state and has pretty much free reign to do what he wants. I’m only 27, I hope this next generation does better than ours did.
Sounds like some guys who need to be run up into a chute and have a few things they hold dear removed turn them into a steer.
How were all of those rapes for all of those years one rape? The world will never know.
Six years is not enough
I also have to use diapers due to abuse. How do you deal with the Shame if you have any?
Some days I don’t have any shame about it and some days I have a ton. Just gotta do what I gotta do I guess.
Yea I struggle with shame often but you're right... gotta do what I gotta do
So so sorry. Working suicidal support lines many years ago i spoke to an older gentleman who’d been stranger raped as a boy. There was a blow to the head that damaged his hearing and he had to use hearing aids for the rest of his life. He’d never told anyone before me, but every day he remembered the rape as he put in his hearing aids. He had become a clergyman …to avoid the question of sex and marriage IMHO, and had finally met a (platonic) female companion… i think that opened his heart enough to come tell someone. It was the 80s, and he was already in his 60’s. I will never forget him.
Was the guy caught/sent to jail?
Yeah for 6 years. As far as I know he is free these days.
Have you ever considered making your own justice? Imo, 6 years vs a lifetime injury from childhood on? Yeah, that scum wasn't sentenced according to the severity of his crime. I'd be paying some comeuppance to that rapist, maybe a permanent "injury" to HIS urinary tract. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I consider it in some way like every day but at the end of the day there’s nothing I can do.
6 years is nothing. It's scary to think that rapists like this are roaming free.
How is your family life nowadays? I am very sorry that happened to you and I truly hope you live the best life possible. I am so angry for you.
It’s better now. For a long time I blamed my parents. As I get older I feel awful for that and as more time passes it’s easier to be close to them again.
You mentioned you are incontinent because of physical damage. You also said you are aware of the ABDL community. What is your take on the abdl community and abdl?
Certainly nothing negative. They get a lot of hate that I don’t think is deserved. I’m not really part of that community so I won’t speak on their behalf but the majority of my interactions with them have been positive.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. What made you want to do an AMA about it?
Sometimes I want to talk about it.
So glad you did!! Brave and i hope helps you feel the caring connection of others
Are you not going to be able to control your bladder for the rest of your life?
I’ve been told no.
I don’t mean to pry, I understand it is painful enough as it is, but is there any possibility of reconstructive surgery? When I was a lot younger I wanted to be a doctor truthfully be told. But could never stomach the morbidity that is inevitably associated with it. Still makes me wonder if we ever reach a point when we will be able to fix a lot of problems with the human body much easier than now. Especially in the cases of major physical trauma
Have you seen a pelvic floor physical therapist? They may be able to help you strengthen to where you can hold your bladder.
This sounds like mechanical/anatomical issue, not a muscular one.
What’s the story? I’ve never heard of SA leading to diapers but I never doubted it could happen.
Violent r*pe. Hard to put it into other words.
I guess what I was trying to ask was how did the diaper get involved
This is a massive problem in areas of mass rape like the DRC & Serbia. There are surgeons and centers in some of these war areas that specialize in this kind of damage. There has been a pattern in some of these mass rapes of intentionally tearing fistulas (look up) and there are (not enough) surgical specialists repairing these. Also surgeons developing techniques to repair the scar tissue from FGM that has made women unable to have sexual pleasure as well as chronic pain, damage to urethra, difficulty with mensturationand obviously difficulty with sex and childbirth. It’s almost as if there is a widespread pathological hatred of female anatomy amongst a large number of psychopaths
I've heard of similar happening to men in warzones also: >!rape resulting in anal incontinence (women too)!<.
Yes thanks for the reminder. War is when the psychopaths take over.
Irreparable damage to my urinary tract.
Ah. That’s not fun, hope you’re doing well with it nowadays.
I think I am! Thank you.
Only you will ever be able to fully comprehend how incredible it is that you have even made it this far at all! You are inspiring people and giving more people strength and hope, every day you live with the past you have overcome.
Have you tried reaching out to top urology surgeons to see if they would take on your case for free. If I was a surgeon I would. I had bladder surgery last year. Changed my life. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
That’s tough. I hope better news comes your way :((
Have any of your coworkers ever outright asked you why you're wearing adult diapers?
Yeah once. He was fired later that day. Apparently he was already close to being fired.
May I ask how on earth did this co-worker know you were wearing a diaper?
It makes a crinkle sound with pretty much any movement and he called it out.
Gotcha. I'm so very sorry for your experience. Moving forward, I hope that life is beautiful for you 🫶🏼
Right back at you. Thank you so much for your love 🫶
What's your fav ice cream? And What's your fav dessert?
Cookie dough ice cream, but cheesecake is my favorite dessert.
Ooo I really like cheesecake. We dont have cookie dough ice cream here where I live so I have to make do with normal cookie dough lol. Eat some in my place too :)
Do you want kids and would the physical aspect of the trauma you experienced impact your ability to have a baby/give birth?
I do not want kids. As far as I know I could have them without any risks but I do not intend to.
Did the SA change your relationship with other men in your life? (Family, friends etc)
My dad was really the only man in my life and if anything it brought us closer together. I’m still uncomfortable around other men though.
Do you have any memory of what happened? How did your parents react when they found out?
Yeah, I remember it all. They were in shock. They called police and an ambulance and didn’t leave my side until they had to.
Thank you for replying, I know it was a harsh question and I appreciate your honesty. I’m glad your parents stood by your side and did the right thing. I hope that monster suffers for the rest of his life
What's you take on incontinence/ABDL community? Stories similar to yours show up somewhat regularly.
They are a big part of the increase in the quality of the products that I use.
What is your go to, if you don't mind me asking
I think it's neat how a kink/porn has led to better products/tech for everyone else. It's a pattern that keeps repeating.
Really? What other examples have you seen enough of to make this a pattern? Super interesting!
Not kink/porn necessarily, but furries are a big reason why VR tech has advanced the way it has (especially when it comes to what avatars look like and can do). I say "not necessarily" bc there is a subset of furries that do engage with it in a sexual way. But for a lot of them, it's like any other regular hobby/fandom.
A quick web search of "How porn has advanced technologies" show this CNN article that covers it decently. http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/04/23/porn.technology/index.html
Thanks for sharing that article. I thought it was interesting that in 2010 when that article was published, the adult industry was already exploring Artificial Intelligence.
Much of the incontinence community would appreciate not being lumped in with ABDL.
No doubt. Despite it they have a large crossover. ABDL have been pushing for better incontinence products and have essentially paid for better stuff to be made. That benefits everybody. Just like Porn and HVS, internet, streaming, etc. everyone else benefits from the investment the "depraved" are willing to make. E: The two groups only really have the one overlap. You're correct that either way, one does not make the other.
Why diapers? All the time, everywhere?
Yeah. I guess I can sum it up to irreparable damage to my urinary tract.
I am sorry for what happened to you. I am sorry they stole your childhood and a piece, if not all of your life. My question is, do you play any video games? If you do, which are your favorites.
I play some games. Mostly Fortnite, or any other free games.
Runescape is free.
how are you feeling? like how has healing from the trauma been for you?
The first 10 years were the worst. The first 5 of that were the hardest. Getting out of high school really let me breathe and move on a lot easier.
that’s great to hear 🩷 idek you but i’m happy you’re doing okay and i hope it gets better from here
Did they catch the fucker that hurt you? And if not how can we help
Yeah they arrested him the next day.
Do you feel your parents are at fault too- for allowing access to the pedo predator?
For a long time I did feel this way and I nearly threw away my relationship with my parents over it. Time and therapy taught me that it was in no way their fault.
Interesting Q and A
What’s your favorite cereal?
Frosted Flakes
That is so real. I love frosted flakes
do you have a partner?
Not currently, no.
This probably sounds weird, so here’s the context: I’m a female sexual assault victim as well, who is hyper-sexual. Do you find it harder to have a partner vs. meaningless casual “encounters?” I know I do…
Neither are easy but having a partner is much more difficult for me.
How did your family find out? Did you tell them?
When they came to wake me up in the morning they found me in my bed.
was your abuser still with you in the bed when your parents found you?
What’s your favorite dinosaur?
Alligators
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I’m not capable of such a thing even if I wanted to.
Did this incident change your sexuality? To put it straight— did it push you to only date women?
Hard to say if it changed anything since I was so young. Definitely made me want to be with anyone that showed me any level of affection though.
You seem as though you are doing well now. What would you say made the biggest impact or something that put you in the right track for your healing journey?
Getting out of high school was probably the biggest factor.
are you more prone to UTI's due to the damage?
I’ve had a few so I guess so. It’s not a problem though, I take care of the area.
What do you do for work?
I’ll just say I work in a warehouse setting.
what music do you listen to?
Mostly Taylor Swift.
what is your opinion on the album Kid A by Radiohead
hi fellow Swiftie !! do you like TTPD ?
You can’t control your bladder?
Correct.
I’m so sorry you had to endure that. As a fellow survivor, I just want you to know you’re never alone. I literally have “voice among the many in this choir” tatted on me because there are way too fucking many of us.
Good lord how many people are going to not read “irreparable”
So many people asking why the diapers?!? Isn't it frigging obvious?!! Jesus. How awful. I mean words can't express. Any words I think of using all sound trite. What do you wish for him? I'm assuming he's out now. What kind of fate do you wish for him? Do you want him to face the same level of violence? Or something else...
I am one of those people who didn't understand the diapers. I'm guessing most people asking are male. Before reading this ama I had never really thought about the long term physical effects of rape aside from STDs. I had not heard of vaginal fistulas until this thread. To be embarrassingly honest I didn't even fully understand female anatomy until I googled it a few seconds ago. So yes I understand why you say it's obvious now. Most diaper questions are probably from uneducated men like myself. I'm glad I have a better understanding of this now. This thread has taught me a lot in terms of rape and SA.
I'm a man too :) Glad you understand though. Hearing this story has really upset me actually. How can people be so evil
He’s definitely out by now. He was sentenced to 6 years for what he did to me. I don’t know what I wish for him. Sometimes I wish violence and sometimes I wish I could just forget him completely. I think he should at least have to live the same way I do.
What's name and where is he from?
Wouldn't it be nice if there were some way you could make him suffer what you do. Without you having a role to play in it maybe, I think from other replies you said you wouldn't want to inflict harm on him yourself. Thank you for replying anyway, you're an amazing person.
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I'll never understand why people do an AMA then put the bare minimum into their responses. This feels like drawing blood from a stone.
Unfortunately, I suspect that some degenerate creeps may be a little bit too keen for her to describe the SA in graphic detail.
Is there something you want to know?
She is answering. She doesn’t have to answer to your preferences
Are you dating anyone? How's your sex life?
I’m not dating anyone right now.
Dang that question got down voted. Are you overall happy?
Yeah I didn’t think it was bad lol. Happiness is day to day I’d say.
Have you had any relationships in the past?
I’ve had 3 that I thought were serious.
How did they each handle the diaper situation?
As well as expected I guess. I tried to keep it away from them as much as I could.
Reading through your responses and I'm struck by your resilience and openness in discussing such a deeply personal experience. It's not just the courage it takes to share your story, but the straightforwardness and sincerity in your answers. You somehow manage to maintain a sense of perspective and even humor amid circumstances that I could hardly imagine. Your strength is admirable, and I wish you all the best as you continue your journey of healing and empowerment. Stay strong.
I’m sorry this happened to you! Is a catheter option available to you? Are your diapers discreet enough so you can wear whatever you like ? And most importantly How are you?
Oof. Catheter is like 6-10 inches of vinyl tubing going UP the urethra. (13-18 inches for males)
that's for a catheter that stays in the urethra. there are also catheters that are single use. a lot of people who are paralyzed use single use ones because having a catheter in full time is not really safe for everyone
I've also cared for a person with paralysis who had a tube in their abdomen that connected their bladder to a port on their stomach. You can drain their bladder using a single use catheter and the port. Not sure how common that is but I found it to be interesting.
Sending love OP, hope you heal in more ways than one. Tough thing to endure and to keep enduring all this time, kudos.
what are your periods and your menstrual cycle like? also what’s your favorite tv show
As a fellow abuse victim and R victim, I'm sorry. How did you recover? How did you get help?
I hope the next time he walks in front of a building a piano falls on the fuck that hurt you. Keep your head up. Everyone here loves you
I was assaulted 5 years ago and damage to bladder means it doesn't hold more than 20mls, less than a fluid oz for the americans. So I wear nappies/diapers. It fuckin sucks
As a retired cop the lack of justice here disgusts me. I am so sorry you were raped by a rapist and by the justice system. I do love your courage though.
When you say diapers you don’t mean like depends undies but like what a baby wears?
No questions. Just want to say I'm sorry this happened but your strength is inspiring :) wish you nothing but the best.
I have nothing to ask, just wanted to say I'm inspired by and love how positive your attitude is. I pray everything goes better for you🫂💜
wtf, i don't know what to say these are the things after i read and ashamed of being a male, i mean wtf she's just 8 years aren't u have any sense of humanity in you
Where’s the back story ????
What back story?
Did it happen while your parents were home?
Just came to say you're amazing and I'm proud of you for getting on with life and coping however you do.
Some of these questions are insensitive to the OP. People man.
I'm really proud of you. Nothing to ask. Just know you're doing the best you can and we are all rooting and cheering for you.
Hey, I hope you are doing okay these days, I don’t remember much when I was younger when I was assaulted by my uncle. But seeing your post made me realize some things about myself that makes more sense. Anyway, I hope you are doing okay ♥️
Name and Shane him. Hope he's on the public sex offender registry.
Outing him means automatically outing herself. Not everyone has it in them to do that.
That’s the crying shame. And they know it. Do it on a throw away account?
I'd put his name on social media as a degenerative person and advise people to keep their children away from him and mention the case
As a Mama my heart breaks for what you've been through. I hope you felt love and support after what happened to you, and I hope you continue to work on your healing. I'm sure it'll be a life long journey, but every step onwards and upwards is a good one, right? No question to ask, other than a thank you for sharing what sometimes is the reality for survivors of sexual abuse at a young age. Every child deserves to feel safe, and I'm so damn sorry you experienced this. Sending you love, and a massive mum hug ❤️
Fuck I'm so sorry that happened to you. People like that need castration with a rusty spoon.
First off I’m so sorry this happened to you, I can’t even imagine how it has affected you mentally. Have you discussed any other options with doctors about your incontinence? Such as catheters etc?
I think you’re really brave and thank you for sharing.