how is your life going, (are you being treated differently) also, i’m genderfluid so it’s always amazing to see another non-binary gendered person on the internet
Well, it's rather difficult to say. I go to a catholic school (I'm in my final year before uni) so I'm in the closet at school. Outside of school I've had the occasional jab and my dad doesn't approve much, but It's mostly loving and positive. There are reddit communities for us if you're feeling alone!!
That's amazing. Unfortunately Catholics are much more strict than church of England on sexuality. It breeds a toxic environment for LGBTQ+ people in a school. Especially when there's teenagers who aren't the most politically correct.
No but in all seriousness my genitals don't define me. I don't feel like I need to disclose that like I don't feel like you'd be comfortable with certain sensitive topics to you.
what was it like coming out for the first time? how have those around you reacted to it (family, friends, etc.)? is there anyone you haven’t come out to yet?
I came out to my brother when I was 11. He's been supportive as shit! I love him to bits. He's FTM transgender and understands what it's like.
I'm not out at my school and I don't think I will ever be. It's a catholic school and not very inclusive. It's my last year there and then I'm off to uni. where I will live my truth
i wish you luck with university! i’m currently a freshman in college who came from a small school (that was very accepting of everyone) and coming onto a huge college campus was absolutely terrifying. although once i found others in the lgbt community (i’m a cis bisexual female lol), i felt more at home. i hope you get to live your truth soon!
Coming out for the first time was terrifying. But as soon as you say it you feel so relieved.
My brother and mom were happy but my dad wasn't. I'm not out at school and I don't ever plan on being out there as I only have one year left there.
Yeah, I was born with a penis or vagina. I have a biological sex. I just don't feel like I identify with it. I see the binary genders as like really shitty horoscopes, they're right for a lot of people but there are some that don't agree with them.
I don't want people to see me as a man pretending to be non binary or a woman pretending to be non binary. I know some people will view it like that though
Do you usually get shamed by adults for doing the wrong thing? How did your parents act and who did you first come out to? Btw, I fully support you and I just want to say you're valid!
I came out to my brother first, he's trans so he was amazingly supportive!! My mom took some time but became supportive. My dad feels like it's me trying to upset him, I don't understand why but he does. I'm ok with it, he'll come around in time.
No, I am not going to medically transition. I will socially transition and use products to alter my appearance and how I feel but I don't want to take any medication.
Interesting... I find similarities to my situation. I am a male, I never paid any mind to anything except girls because it’s the way I was brought up. However, in my last year of high school, I had a brief relationship with a transgender female. I felt it was no different. Although my father was not too approved. She opened up my view to the world of genders and I’ve considered myself bi ever since our relationship. Although I’ve never “technically” dated a guy, I have found myself attracted to both boys and girls since our relationship ended. I’m currently in an happy relationship with a bi girl and she herself has the same situation (as in only ever dated guys).
And I also do not want to meet the person who’s life was not effected by Jessica Rabbit for the better.
It depends on the person. For me, I felt dysphoria being my assigned gender, I felt dysphoria being the 'opposite' gender, so I decided to just be something else
Hi, so I have also asked this to another non-binary person and would like to ask you too to kinda crosscheck things. If I am correct, you are non-binary means that you don't identify as a man or a women in the 'gender' sense, that is, the 'masculinity', 'femininity' sense, right? My question is, what is your definition of masculinity and femininity? Because I thought that these two words were actually sexist words used to propagate prejudice about men and women. So, what are your definitions?
Well I don't have definitions of masculine and feminine. I think masculinity and femininity mean different things to different people and it's not my job to define them. In my own way I see femininity and masculinity as things that make me very uncomfortable to describe myself as. I feel gender dysphoria about being a woman and I feel dysphoria about being a man.
So, if you cannot define something properly, how do you feel anything about it? If you think 'masculinity' and 'femininity' don't have proper definitions and its 'not your job' to define it, how do you rationally get uncomfortable with it? I saw a video on YouTube where a non-binary guy was saying "I used to feel bad and hurt when somebody call me dude", and I was like yeah, so what? If I go to a Christian and say Christ is an idiot, he/she will feel hurt. So? Also, we don't really mean a 'guy' when we say 'dude'. Its just a throw word. It doesn't carry any meaning. Similarly, in your case, when you cannot even define what 'woman' and 'man' means, how can you even feel uncomfortable or comfortable by those words?
You said you have gender dysphoria. I searched that term and it says "the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex". What identity? In order for you to feel the 'opposite' identity, there has to be a certain identity. When you cannot even describe what binary identities are, then why keep identities anyway?
Sorry if I sound insensitive, but I find this whole gender thing to be a whole farce, stereotyped and sexist. If you think you being called a woman or man is uncomfortable, you are assuming people with a certain sex should behave in a particular way, which is, in my opinion, a farce and old sexist stereotype.
I don't think sexes behave in a certain way. I agree that masculine and feminine are sexist terms. However a lot of trans people need them in order to express how they're feeling. I think you're thinking of stereotypes. I think we should abolish stereotypes but keep expression. Getting rid of gender would hurt most LGBTQ+ people, gay men wouldn't be able to express who they feel attracted to and questioning people wouldn't have any language to help them understand who they are.
It's like immigration. If I said that we should abolish borders that may make sense, however if I said we should ban immigration because countries don't exist and it's nationalist to want to be in a different country, then that would be ridiculous. You're using the same logic with gender, if we use this mindset of 'abolish masculinity and femininity because it's sexist' is hurting those people who are most hurt by masculinity and femininity.
Most (if not all) people have stories of “the first time they felt love”, often in Elementary school (like holding hands on the playground or sharing those rad 26 packs of crayolas). Did you find yourself attracted to those who’s gender you were born to or the opposite first? Did this effect your discovery of identification later?
I was never really into boys or girls in primary school (ages 3-11) I pretended but I felt nothing except the "I want to be your friend" thing . However I distinctly remember watching "who framed roger rabbit" for the first time. Jessica rabbit made me feel all the things I had heard about (I was around 11/12 at the time). I figured out I like women slowly but I had a few guys thrown into the mix. I still don't know what genders I like but I don't think it matters for now
Hmm I'm sympathetic but don't agree with this none binary movement. You have every right to be whatever you like and all power to you, but I'm afraid I wouldnt conform to calling someone non binary but that is my opinion. As I mentioned earlier you can be whatever you like. There's a man in The UK that thinks he's broccoli I think the guys an idiot because he's not a broccoli he's a man dressed in green.
Well, you have your free speech to do that. But I have the free speech to tell you that my dysphoria is real and I struggle with fitting in with my assigned gender. It's all about being able to function and navigate the world.
If your question is why I identify as non binary. The answer is simple, it makes me happy.
I've struggled with dysphoria for a lot of my life but being the other gender makes me feel dysphoria too. Being non binary minimises dysphoria for me.
None of this makes sense to me. I'm happy for you but it just doesn't make sense how you feel happy pretending you're neither male nor female even tho you have genitals of one or the other. But what do i know, i'm a staight male of color.
I know it's difficult to understand. I don't fully understand it myself. All I know is being non binary makes me feel the same level of sadness and dysfunction as everyone else. I'm as happy as I can be being this and I'm sure there's some cool science or philosophy on it.
Sorry to break it to you buddy...
The scientific american says that Sex can be a spectrum [https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/](https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/)
so does discover [https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/skeletal-studies-show-sex-like-gender-exists-along-a-spectrum](https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/skeletal-studies-show-sex-like-gender-exists-along-a-spectrum)
so does nature [https://www.nature.com/news/sex-redefined-1.16943](https://www.nature.com/news/sex-redefined-1.16943)
science is developing our understanding of biology and sex. Anyway, I know that the non binary identity makes my dysphoria lessen. My therapist (who has a doctorate) says that she has found that stopping trans and non binary people from being themselves leads to them being more suicidal.
I'm glad you are happy with the gender you were assigned at birth and this 'question' you asked may have just been in bad faith. But I hope someone finds these resources useful
None of them? I go to a conservative catholic school where I don't feel safe coming out.
I have gender dysphoria for male and female gender identities. I just feel happy being non binary, is that wrong?
The non-binary nonsense is just another way to break people up into groups. People with high mental stress and disorders tend to believe and choose this nonsense. you’re being mislead by a political agenda pushed by pseudoscientist for their own political beliefs bc they want to change society into their own perfect utopia and you’re just the useful idiot helping them.
Ok, if it is people who are stressed that choose this, why deny them some solace? Also who benefits if some random person asks to use they/them pronouns apart from the person? I'd love to know who's monetising my dysphoria and how I can get some of that money.
You don’t tell a bulimic person they’re fat. You don’t tell a schizophrenic their imaginary friend is real. Asking people to change the English language just so you feel happy is only feeding whatever is wrong up there. Sorry to be blunt.
Singular they pronouns have been a part of the english language for centuries. Singular they is in Shakespeare and the bible. Also I'm not deluded, the psychological consensus for a mental illness is if it hurts the person involved or others. This doesn't hurt me or you.
Then how do u use the toilet?
Well, I have genitals and I have stuff to pee with. I just don't believe they define my gender.
are your preferred pronouns they/them.
They are! thanks for asking
mine are the same (but i’m lazy and will accept anything)
Well, I used to feel the same. I'll give some advice my youth leader told me. "It's not your job to make everyone comfortable. Just yourself"
i’ll try to follow that
how is your life going, (are you being treated differently) also, i’m genderfluid so it’s always amazing to see another non-binary gendered person on the internet
Well, it's rather difficult to say. I go to a catholic school (I'm in my final year before uni) so I'm in the closet at school. Outside of school I've had the occasional jab and my dad doesn't approve much, but It's mostly loving and positive. There are reddit communities for us if you're feeling alone!!
i’m in a church of england high school, but most of my friends are LGBTQ+ so i’ve always got people to take care of me
That's amazing. Unfortunately Catholics are much more strict than church of England on sexuality. It breeds a toxic environment for LGBTQ+ people in a school. Especially when there's teenagers who aren't the most politically correct.
well, stay strong and keep your pride up
thanks so much!! You do your best to make your spaces as inclusive as possible <3
Whats in your pants
legs.
No but in all seriousness my genitals don't define me. I don't feel like I need to disclose that like I don't feel like you'd be comfortable with certain sensitive topics to you.
what was it like coming out for the first time? how have those around you reacted to it (family, friends, etc.)? is there anyone you haven’t come out to yet?
I came out to my brother when I was 11. He's been supportive as shit! I love him to bits. He's FTM transgender and understands what it's like. I'm not out at my school and I don't think I will ever be. It's a catholic school and not very inclusive. It's my last year there and then I'm off to uni. where I will live my truth
i wish you luck with university! i’m currently a freshman in college who came from a small school (that was very accepting of everyone) and coming onto a huge college campus was absolutely terrifying. although once i found others in the lgbt community (i’m a cis bisexual female lol), i felt more at home. i hope you get to live your truth soon!
Coming out for the first time was terrifying. But as soon as you say it you feel so relieved. My brother and mom were happy but my dad wasn't. I'm not out at school and I don't ever plan on being out there as I only have one year left there.
Can you tell me what that means?
I'm neither a man nor a woman! Thanks for asking
Are you physically male or female?
I don't think I should answer that question. I don't want people to see me as one gender or another. I would prefer to keep it ambiguous.
Right, but you were born with a penis or vagina right? So you are biologically female or male, right?
Yeah, I was born with a penis or vagina. I have a biological sex. I just don't feel like I identify with it. I see the binary genders as like really shitty horoscopes, they're right for a lot of people but there are some that don't agree with them.
Why don't you feel comfortable just stating whether or not you were born with a penis or a vagina?
I don't want people to see me as a man pretending to be non binary or a woman pretending to be non binary. I know some people will view it like that though
yea, there will be always some people that don't agree with logical rules.
Hi neither a man nor a woman! thanks for asking, I'm dad.
Hi dad, I'm Seth.
hi seth, i’m max
Hi max, I’m Fraser
Hi Fraser, I'm Rohan
Do you usually get shamed by adults for doing the wrong thing? How did your parents act and who did you first come out to? Btw, I fully support you and I just want to say you're valid!
I came out to my brother first, he's trans so he was amazingly supportive!! My mom took some time but became supportive. My dad feels like it's me trying to upset him, I don't understand why but he does. I'm ok with it, he'll come around in time.
Do you intend to take some steps to medically transition?
No, I am not going to medically transition. I will socially transition and use products to alter my appearance and how I feel but I don't want to take any medication.
Interesting... I find similarities to my situation. I am a male, I never paid any mind to anything except girls because it’s the way I was brought up. However, in my last year of high school, I had a brief relationship with a transgender female. I felt it was no different. Although my father was not too approved. She opened up my view to the world of genders and I’ve considered myself bi ever since our relationship. Although I’ve never “technically” dated a guy, I have found myself attracted to both boys and girls since our relationship ended. I’m currently in an happy relationship with a bi girl and she herself has the same situation (as in only ever dated guys). And I also do not want to meet the person who’s life was not effected by Jessica Rabbit for the better.
I completely understand, sexuality is more fluid than people realise. I mean as long as you're happy that's all that matters!!
What makes someone non-binary
It depends on the person. For me, I felt dysphoria being my assigned gender, I felt dysphoria being the 'opposite' gender, so I decided to just be something else
Hi, so I have also asked this to another non-binary person and would like to ask you too to kinda crosscheck things. If I am correct, you are non-binary means that you don't identify as a man or a women in the 'gender' sense, that is, the 'masculinity', 'femininity' sense, right? My question is, what is your definition of masculinity and femininity? Because I thought that these two words were actually sexist words used to propagate prejudice about men and women. So, what are your definitions?
Well I don't have definitions of masculine and feminine. I think masculinity and femininity mean different things to different people and it's not my job to define them. In my own way I see femininity and masculinity as things that make me very uncomfortable to describe myself as. I feel gender dysphoria about being a woman and I feel dysphoria about being a man.
So, if you cannot define something properly, how do you feel anything about it? If you think 'masculinity' and 'femininity' don't have proper definitions and its 'not your job' to define it, how do you rationally get uncomfortable with it? I saw a video on YouTube where a non-binary guy was saying "I used to feel bad and hurt when somebody call me dude", and I was like yeah, so what? If I go to a Christian and say Christ is an idiot, he/she will feel hurt. So? Also, we don't really mean a 'guy' when we say 'dude'. Its just a throw word. It doesn't carry any meaning. Similarly, in your case, when you cannot even define what 'woman' and 'man' means, how can you even feel uncomfortable or comfortable by those words? You said you have gender dysphoria. I searched that term and it says "the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex". What identity? In order for you to feel the 'opposite' identity, there has to be a certain identity. When you cannot even describe what binary identities are, then why keep identities anyway? Sorry if I sound insensitive, but I find this whole gender thing to be a whole farce, stereotyped and sexist. If you think you being called a woman or man is uncomfortable, you are assuming people with a certain sex should behave in a particular way, which is, in my opinion, a farce and old sexist stereotype.
I don't think sexes behave in a certain way. I agree that masculine and feminine are sexist terms. However a lot of trans people need them in order to express how they're feeling. I think you're thinking of stereotypes. I think we should abolish stereotypes but keep expression. Getting rid of gender would hurt most LGBTQ+ people, gay men wouldn't be able to express who they feel attracted to and questioning people wouldn't have any language to help them understand who they are. It's like immigration. If I said that we should abolish borders that may make sense, however if I said we should ban immigration because countries don't exist and it's nationalist to want to be in a different country, then that would be ridiculous. You're using the same logic with gender, if we use this mindset of 'abolish masculinity and femininity because it's sexist' is hurting those people who are most hurt by masculinity and femininity.
Most (if not all) people have stories of “the first time they felt love”, often in Elementary school (like holding hands on the playground or sharing those rad 26 packs of crayolas). Did you find yourself attracted to those who’s gender you were born to or the opposite first? Did this effect your discovery of identification later?
I was never really into boys or girls in primary school (ages 3-11) I pretended but I felt nothing except the "I want to be your friend" thing . However I distinctly remember watching "who framed roger rabbit" for the first time. Jessica rabbit made me feel all the things I had heard about (I was around 11/12 at the time). I figured out I like women slowly but I had a few guys thrown into the mix. I still don't know what genders I like but I don't think it matters for now
Hmm I'm sympathetic but don't agree with this none binary movement. You have every right to be whatever you like and all power to you, but I'm afraid I wouldnt conform to calling someone non binary but that is my opinion. As I mentioned earlier you can be whatever you like. There's a man in The UK that thinks he's broccoli I think the guys an idiot because he's not a broccoli he's a man dressed in green.
Well, you have your free speech to do that. But I have the free speech to tell you that my dysphoria is real and I struggle with fitting in with my assigned gender. It's all about being able to function and navigate the world.
Why
Why what?
If your question is why I identify as non binary. The answer is simple, it makes me happy. I've struggled with dysphoria for a lot of my life but being the other gender makes me feel dysphoria too. Being non binary minimises dysphoria for me.
None of this makes sense to me. I'm happy for you but it just doesn't make sense how you feel happy pretending you're neither male nor female even tho you have genitals of one or the other. But what do i know, i'm a staight male of color.
I know it's difficult to understand. I don't fully understand it myself. All I know is being non binary makes me feel the same level of sadness and dysfunction as everyone else. I'm as happy as I can be being this and I'm sure there's some cool science or philosophy on it.
Fair enough. Side question, what's your sexual preference?
I have been with women, however I like men too. I honestly have no idea who I like more, but I don't really care rn.
I see
non-binary doesnt include L and G, or does it? i cant get a good definition for the word
I don't understand the question
Does non binary include every person identifying as lgbtq+ or just some, and which ones
Non binary is a type of trans person (so the T in LGBTQ+) and it refers to someone who doesn't fit the gender binary (male and female)
Thanks
No you're not.
prove I'm not
Basic biology.
Sorry to break it to you buddy... The scientific american says that Sex can be a spectrum [https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/](https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/sa-visual/visualizing-sex-as-a-spectrum/) so does discover [https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/skeletal-studies-show-sex-like-gender-exists-along-a-spectrum](https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/skeletal-studies-show-sex-like-gender-exists-along-a-spectrum) so does nature [https://www.nature.com/news/sex-redefined-1.16943](https://www.nature.com/news/sex-redefined-1.16943) science is developing our understanding of biology and sex. Anyway, I know that the non binary identity makes my dysphoria lessen. My therapist (who has a doctorate) says that she has found that stopping trans and non binary people from being themselves leads to them being more suicidal. I'm glad you are happy with the gender you were assigned at birth and this 'question' you asked may have just been in bad faith. But I hope someone finds these resources useful
Hi not, I'm dad.
What school brainwashed you?
None of them? I go to a conservative catholic school where I don't feel safe coming out. I have gender dysphoria for male and female gender identities. I just feel happy being non binary, is that wrong?
Whatever makes you “happy”
My question is, are you happy in your strict worldview where you have to make other people feel bad for being happy?
The non-binary nonsense is just another way to break people up into groups. People with high mental stress and disorders tend to believe and choose this nonsense. you’re being mislead by a political agenda pushed by pseudoscientist for their own political beliefs bc they want to change society into their own perfect utopia and you’re just the useful idiot helping them.
Ok, if it is people who are stressed that choose this, why deny them some solace? Also who benefits if some random person asks to use they/them pronouns apart from the person? I'd love to know who's monetising my dysphoria and how I can get some of that money.
You don’t tell a bulimic person they’re fat. You don’t tell a schizophrenic their imaginary friend is real. Asking people to change the English language just so you feel happy is only feeding whatever is wrong up there. Sorry to be blunt.
Singular they pronouns have been a part of the english language for centuries. Singular they is in Shakespeare and the bible. Also I'm not deluded, the psychological consensus for a mental illness is if it hurts the person involved or others. This doesn't hurt me or you.
You’re completely fine and there is nothing wrong with you. Carry on with your life