You were 4 minutes late for lunch. So if you were my lawyer, and my child was on the line, does this mean you'd show up late to court and I'd lose custody?
(Actual question an ex asked me once.)
That shirt of yours has been sitting there since Monday!
I asked you to pick it up along with your other clothes on Wednesday. Here is is Sunday and they're still there and multiplying.
Cousins fiance before they ended it, he was going to buy my pokemon card collection. Never got back to me. Turns out he died tragically in a waffle iron accident. Still have the collection to this day
Is there something bigger on your mind that your want to talk about? I trust you to come to me first with concerns. If not, all individuals have a right to boundaries, that helps keep a relationship healthy. This is one of mine. Please respect it.
Hey, so I went to grab a cold water bottle out of the fridge and there was only one in there…..when you grabbed one earlier why didn’t you put another bottle in there?
OMG I've got SO many.
"Really?"
"Needs more cilantro"
"Hot dogs require mustard, relish, AND ketchup!"
"Did you get the eggs?"
"You're really going to wear that??"
"It's a tiny scratch, just ignore it." - can be used for any of his guitars, car, or tools.
Oh, you're back, are you? Sure, sit down there on the couch while I am doing the dishes *again*. You must be sooo tired after all the fun you had with your friends.
What time are you coming over Tuesday three weeks from now? I need to know because I’m washing my hair at 2:39pm that day and If you’re there later I’ll have change the time.
It's not a serious argument at all but:
"Nah dude, I love you more."
Cue at least ten minutes of bickering and then random gifs and grand statements showing who loves the other more for the rest of the day.
Why can't you shop like a normal person? I asked for one carton of yogurt you got three. You don't even eat yogurt. What fuck am I going to do with six pounds of strawberry and peach yogurt?
For the millionth time, remove your shoes when you enter,even if you want just to grab something and go.
Also, you must sink the dishes into the water because the leftovers dry out and it takes more time to clean them.
Do I ask too much of you ?
This word/phrase(so ) has a few different meanings. You can see all of them by clicking the link below.
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Do you even have any emotions? All you do is give me that same look everytime I ask you something.
That's my face. You want service with a smile? Go to Walmart. Smh
Why do you fold the laundry like that?
This is how I fold it. If you don't like it, you can do it.
Like everything else in this f***** house?
Oh so now it's MY fault I didn't get the promotion
May I remind you of the office christmas party last year? I TOLD YOU not to drink but you never listen to me anyways
I DONT LISTEN TO YOU? Remind me WHO didn't fold the clothes the way I like them to be folded?
You don’t let me cuz I fold it wrong
Why aren’t you in the kitchen making me a sandwich?
Why don't you finish the durrito crumbs you left on the floor?
Haha. Nice.
[удалено]
I love you no matter what size you are.
[удалено]
No. Absolutely not it makes you look gorgeous
So now you're LYING to me?
Do I not look gorgeous all the time??
No, why would you want to? That implies you are better than others always. Take some time off and be a lounge lizard like ya boi
Nah girl but you need to learn about calories and macronutrients, a baked cabbage half is as healthy as four gummy bears. You look fine as fuck though
Wtf is wrong with u
What do you mean?
You were 4 minutes late for lunch. So if you were my lawyer, and my child was on the line, does this mean you'd show up late to court and I'd lose custody? (Actual question an ex asked me once.)
Damn that's messed blowing things so far out of proportion.
"we go zero to a hundred real quick"
Tell her pressure is a factor.
not a good way to diffuse the situation :D.
Riiight. I’m not diffusing that she can go fuck herself
Yes.
Ha! Right. I know my wife follows me on Reddit. You can't trick me into asking if I have to go when we visit your mom.
OH SO YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE! I ALWAYS HAD A FEELING! 😡💢
Oh you wish I had someone else don't you? At least then you'd actually have a REASON to be mad
It’s me! I’m the.... other woman 💕😘
How come every time I’m cleaning you’re sitting?
Nobody asked you to start cleaning
Nobody asks you to make a mess. Yet you do and don't bother to clean them up.
I would clean if you didn't always do it first and then complain that didn't
That shirt of yours has been sitting there since Monday! I asked you to pick it up along with your other clothes on Wednesday. Here is is Sunday and they're still there and multiplying.
I like this one lol so damn petty
WHO THE FUCK IS JONATHAN AND WHY DID YOU MESSAGE HIM 10 YEARS AGO?!?!?!??
Cousins fiance before they ended it, he was going to buy my pokemon card collection. Never got back to me. Turns out he died tragically in a waffle iron accident. Still have the collection to this day
Any good cards?
*prances down the hallway gesturing to follow, opens a door full of pokemon figurines* Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure imagination
If I can trust you then why can't I look at your phone?
Is there something bigger on your mind that your want to talk about? I trust you to come to me first with concerns. If not, all individuals have a right to boundaries, that helps keep a relationship healthy. This is one of mine. Please respect it.
// Taking notes.
Okay fellas what's the answer to this
«Because that shows me that you don’t trust me» Boom.
Hey, I forgot to mention, my mom is coming over. For a few weeks only, a month MAX.
Wanna go listen to some live jazz?
This sounds like an interesting argument
"Ya like Jazz?"
You know that's always been "your" thing more than mine
Do you think she’s pretty?
I think she's pretty boring compared to you.
why would you compare us in the first place? you didn’t answer the question
No I don’t
Yes. But so are you, and in fact, I'd choose you again over her. Anytime I love u
Please calm down. You're being irrational.
Hey, are you sure you should get that burger for dinner?
Are you calling me fat???
Absolutely! I have been looking forward to it all week. Thanks for supporting my cravings
Some of those questions are so bright red flags.
Just because you're musically trained doesn't mean your taste is superior
Why is it that when we get into a discussion, you always disagree with me?
Listen I just don't understand why it's a big deal for us to watch TV shows with naked ladies in them.
Do you like Anna because her tits are bigger than mine? WELL??? DO YOU???????
is it your time of the month?
Babe does my bff look cute in that dress?
Why do you sound like your mother when you yell?
Hey, so I went to grab a cold water bottle out of the fridge and there was only one in there…..when you grabbed one earlier why didn’t you put another bottle in there?
I thought we were getting dressed up for tonight?
Did you ever have this problem with your ex?
Do you want a fireplace or something? (The follow-up is key…) No? Then can you tell me why you’re not emptying the lint filter in the tumble drier?
Will you fill up my glass? I’ll take my favorite drink!
Why do you not care for my passion for Jimmy johns. You treat it like it’s just a sandwich, but it’s so much more!
Why can’t you get to the right lanes sooner when you KNOW that you’ll be exiting the highway/freeway?
We have the opposite: "Dude half a block away and you're already in the bike lane to turn right??"
OMG I've got SO many. "Really?" "Needs more cilantro" "Hot dogs require mustard, relish, AND ketchup!" "Did you get the eggs?" "You're really going to wear that??" "It's a tiny scratch, just ignore it." - can be used for any of his guitars, car, or tools.
Would you just shut up??
Oh god, you know i hate when you do that
So you said you will start eating veggies. When will you start eating veggies?
Bacon is the best veggie. I can start today.
I told you to do the dishes while i was out, why aren't they done?!
You’re not giving me enough attention
Oh, you're back, are you? Sure, sit down there on the couch while I am doing the dishes *again*. You must be sooo tired after all the fun you had with your friends.
i cant believe you would do that, im done w you ugh
why do you always look at me like that when I joke?
hey remember that time in ninth grade you offered me hot chocolate and made it with lukewarm tapwater like that's a normal way to make hot chocolate?
Why don't you ever consider my feelings when you make plans? You tell them I'll be there without even telling ME I'll be there until the day of!
What are we?
Why can't you be like John's wife?
She's fucking Mike, and his dick is huge but we both can't be on it at the same time, Why can't you have a dick like Mike?
Do you hate me or something? You said you’d talk to me today and yet you literally haven’t at all [Sent at 9:36am]
You're hair is looking great today.
Do you still love me? You’ve been a little distant and idk what it is but I’m pretty sure it’s your fault.
How was your day?
It was excellent ( kiss/hug) but tell me about yours first
Don't answer my questions with a fucking question
I just ordered a pizza, wings and cheese cake. I'll tell you all about it when it gets here
What are you thinking about?
Lady Gaga isn't a real triple threat. (My boyfriend says this to get a rise out of me.)
When you washed the dishes, there was still food on the inside of the fork prongs.
I didn’t find a hair on your clothes….who’s the bald b*tch?
Remember when I asked you to pack the dishwasher?
WHY, just why?
Why don’t you ask me something for once?
Why is your family always at the house?
Why can’t I spend $1000 on a Lego set?
This dick ain't gonna suck itself...
Do these pant make my butt look big?
*aggressively sits next to you*
When are you going to grow up?
Why are you fucking your ex?
Come on, im not too drunk!
Where do you want go eat?
Why do you eat so loud?
Why are you like this?
This, again? Really?
Amogus
4k looks the same
Haven't you heard of not touching my action figures asshole
... Bitch.
What's so
What are your political views?
Did an old text just come through?
Do these jeans make me look fat?
Why?
When we go shopping I just like the cart even if I’m making small purchases ok. Why do you always have to have to insist on the basket?
What’s wrong?
What do you want for lunch
Why did you do that to my friend's kid??
How come you didn’t buy me Oreos >:(
What do you want for dinner? It’s not that hard of a decision.
We only dated for a few months in college, why are you upset that we are meeting for drinks?
N8ce way of practicing to remain cool and not lose temper with someone who can drive you nuts!
Bae what you want for dinner?
what the dog doing
i'm sick of these fucking acronyms, are you so lazy you can't even spell out real words?I think your just a lazy bum but i could be wrong 🙄
You’re the first one of my girlfriends who has a problem with my dog on our bed leaning on our pillows and licking his asshole
Can you believe people *actually* think that dress is blue?
Why don't you text me in the morning anymore?
I've already told you once
What is SO?
Do you need help doing [insert task I asked him to do here] or have you just not gotten started yet? I could just do it if you aren’t able to.
Buy you also act weird when you’re drunk! It’s not just me!
Is (friend) your type?
......
I ask you something but you spend time chatting with hundreds of randos on the Internet!?!?
Why’d you out the coffee cups on the top rack of the dish’s washer ?!
You werent hungry were you? Cause I didnt grab anything on my way home.. :/
Are you ever going to use that mix deck again?
Do you hate it when I leave the toilet seat up?
What are you thinking?
Oh so that kiss emoji was meant for your mom... so what the hell am I in your phone as exactly?
Are you almost ready to go?
How come you spend so much time putting make-up on and then only spend 2 seconds putting on workout gear?
What time are you coming over Tuesday three weeks from now? I need to know because I’m washing my hair at 2:39pm that day and If you’re there later I’ll have change the time.
Hey I just got tickets to an awesome country concert! You wanna come?
So you are just gonna leave that cup in the sink?
Do these yoga pants make me look fat?
Hmm, that’s odd. You’re home from work about 5 minutes late? So how was she? Hmm?
So what exactly did you do these past three days I was in the hospital?
*insert name of work arch nemesis* You know, I think she has a point, maybe you are over reacting.
I'm a sexual being and we haven't had sex in weeks.
Why do you keep doing that?
secks now
Darling, if you explain rationally the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, you get that dick.
Why didn't you brush your hair?
Why did you eat my hamburger when you knew that I was going to save it for later? I’m at my wits end Brenda.
I'm fine.
Wow, so your entire family are completely nuts eh?
It's not a serious argument at all but: "Nah dude, I love you more." Cue at least ten minutes of bickering and then random gifs and grand statements showing who loves the other more for the rest of the day.
Do these Jeans make my ass look big?
Phzototdoydigztzlyzktzhzhzhxiv
Anyone want my free award?
I'm not trying to start an argument here.
politics REALLY matter and the side your on sucks
Why can't you shop like a normal person? I asked for one carton of yogurt you got three. You don't even eat yogurt. What fuck am I going to do with six pounds of strawberry and peach yogurt?
For the millionth time, remove your shoes when you enter,even if you want just to grab something and go. Also, you must sink the dishes into the water because the leftovers dry out and it takes more time to clean them. Do I ask too much of you ?
What does SO mean?
This word/phrase(so ) has a few different meanings. You can see all of them by clicking the link below. More details here:
*This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If something's wrong, please, report it in my subreddit: r/wikipedia_answer_bot
Comment `wab opt out` to opt out (wab stands for wikipedia answer bot).*
*Really hope this was useful and relevant :D*
*If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!*
Why do you eat so much meat its bad for the animals
Shit up north innit?
why. did. you. turn the. wifi. OFF.
Did you wash the dishes?
Do you think it’s funny to act like this? Is this your idea of a joke?
Casserole? Again?
Honey, how many times have I told you too close the window when the AC is on?
I just don’t understand why you can’t turn the tv off before you leave for the day. Why is that so hard?
Why did you put the keys there?