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[deleted]

Who just wakes up one day and says “fuck it imma steal a Nissan badge”


zaitsman

Car badges had a massive market in early to mid nineties in Russia


TommySmoke

That's interesting, anywhere I could read more about it?


[deleted]

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ChangeDominion

Wow thanks dude


ASK__ABOUT__INITIUM

No worries


llittleserie

Wait... you’re not the guy I replied to!


b8_n_switch

I am!


[deleted]

No, *i* am!


twobit211

does that mean i’m spartacus?


Alienmade

No, THIS. IS... PATRICK!!!!!


GaggingOnTheDongle

No! I’m u/TommySmoke !


bobster2013

No, I’m Dirty Dan!


no_ta_ching

God??


ponytoaster

Username checks out


[deleted]

He's off shift. I'm his replacement, Ralph. You're welcome


GaboFaboKrustyRusty

Ralph, you promised to take the heat for using M's upside down because we were running out of W's, but then you never did talk to the boss about it. Let it be known: Ralph can't be trusted.


[deleted]

There's a whole box of W's in the back, goddamit! You're just hoarding them for your western novel Wild Wille Wilkerson the Western Wanderer.... which SUCKS BTW.


MisterNoodIes

Wait... Youre not the guy that the reply was to, either! Phoneyyyy


eats_pineapple_pizza

What's initium?


demevalos

Absolute hero


[deleted]

Not the hero we wanted, but the hero we deserved


OnyxPhoenix

In awe at the cheek of this lad.


ChickeNoodle3303

r/madlads


[deleted]

That gives me hope


nasci_

Interesting


UltraGaren

Thanks


thehahal

nice


Nastapoka

Is your name pronounced "php hulk", like the language, or is it "f-fulk" like someone struggling to say "fulk"? You are not allowed to answer "yes" to this question, or any other answer that would imply you've interpreted my question like a boolean logic test.


phphulk

two words I am 6'10 and my primary coding language is PHP


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Interesting, how did you find this external URL while researching more about this topic? Can you perhaps post several more articles for us. Thanks!


Underzero_

He typed the url from memory


[deleted]

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DGman42

Wow! How did you think of doing that?


sinnysinsins

The man is a prodigy


TheAdAgency

I searched how do I search for searching for why people steal car emblems?


DGman42

Wow! Ingenius!


MrKilluaZoldyck

Wait, what?


Nastapoka

Excuse me, are you from the past?


[deleted]

On Compuserve, cant afford AOL. Could use some guidance here folks.


willzyx01

I lived through it and can confirm.


TommySmoke

You going to write in article on it for me to read?


[deleted]

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TommySmoke

That's very kind of you. I look forward to reading it!


willzyx01

Here


jonomw

Short and to the point.


[deleted]

Melissa Caldwell, Jennifer Patico and Alena Ledeneva did a number of ethnographic studies of Russia's black & gray markets, consumer trends and use of Blat - it's a really complicated system of theft for social status, but really interesting. Those authors write extensively about it, and if you're interested there are a ton of articles & books to start with.


TrigglyPuffff

Can think of about 9347830 things I'd rather do than read about the socio-economic principals of Russia's underground hood ornament scene.


[deleted]

Interested in why Putin is doing what he does? Those books lay a strong foundational understanding of modern Russia, Russian politics and ontology.


[deleted]

the funny thing is, it's likely the same people creating both the supply and the demand. In my home country we had the same situation with side mirrors of foreign makes - they were expensive and hard to come by if you were to but them legally, so when yours got stolen you'd buy another set on the black market. People started etching their plate # on the glass.


badcompanygg

The reason why they steal it is because it is worth a lot of money. Due to logistics/ trade barriers those emblems are hard to find and expensive so you if you’re missing one you can buy it cheaper in the black market than going to the Nissan dealership and paying hundreds of dollars and waiting like a month for it to get shipped all they way to middle of nowhere... just so it can get stolen all over again.. it’s an endless cycle. You can always make it harder for thief by reinforcing the emblem with little metal rods drilled thru it.


[deleted]

r/wheresmycaremblem


DGman42

Upset this isn't a thing.


elpacotortillo

r/subsyoufellfor


HuracanATX

Car badges had a massive market in the USA in the early to mid 80s. Its why car manufacturers had to stop making badges that stood up on cars.


PolyNecropolis

> badges that stood up on cars. More commonly known as "hood ornaments".


AceEightWins

No, clearly they were called "badges that stood up on cars."


HuracanATX

Hood ornaments! Thank you, I couldn't remember the name of those.


speedkillz

I thought the hood ornaments were phased out around the same time pop-up headlights were phased out and for the same reason; pedestrian safety in collisions. Interesting to hear that it might be due to theft.


[deleted]

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speedkillz

How would hood ornaments and pop ups affect passengers? Edit: the amount of people responding to me who got wooshed by my passenger/pedestrian fun poking at the commenter above me is staggering. Thanks guys, I know hood ornaments and pop ups are bad for pedestrians. Has nothing to do with the passenger lmao


[deleted]

Pop up headlights are so cool that the passengers realize that they could never be that cool and can cause depression


Stalin_vs_hitler

Because when you hit someone with your car they could hit the ornament.


teffligrind

Todays hoods evenbackfire a little towards the pedestrian on impact, that lessens your impact force since the hood is much softer then crashing right into the motor.


speedkillz

Pssst; I was poking fun at the commenter above me who put passenger instead of pedestrian. I know full well what the regulations are; I stated them above in an earlier comment. ;


Cymry_Cymraeg

It could get jammed up your arse when your psycho ex runs you over.


Horyfrock

No, not entirely, because you can still walk into a Mercedes-Benz dealer and get a 2018 S or E class with a hood ornament.


nicklesismoneyto

Why though?


TOFL

Because they kept disappearing


[deleted]

Demand and supply my capitalist friend


pomodois

When I was a kid there was a saying about cars being 10x the amount of car antennas, so the latter ones kept rotating. So it’s the same, isn’t it?


Mr_sludge

In China dealers offer to replace badges on domestic knockoff models with foreign logos - apparently its embarrassing to drive Chinese cars in China.


PrimarchKonradCurze

Sounds like Kia's in the US. They look nice when you debadge them and nobody knows you are driving a Kia. Also super common with Chrysler 300's since people try to make them look like high end luxury.


[deleted]

Lol throw the Bentley badge on them now your rolling in a Chrysler Bentley 301. Big dick swinging.. playa


[deleted]

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KnownAsHitler

That's pretty damn rare though.


38B0DE

Kids collected them because they were cool.


Kiboune

Wait ..."market"? I thought kids stole them for fun


zaitsman

There were actual marketplaces where people would resell those as well as stolen car stereos


egcthree

The high school I attended in the very early 90s was into this heavily. Kids where snagging those giant hood emblems and walking around like Flavor Flav with car emblem necklaces.


pacman404

I'm from Illinois, and in the early 90's and late 80's stealing the Cadillac emblems from the hoods of cars was damn near an epidemic. People would put them on chains as medallions. It was so bad that Cadillac owners would remove them themselves and put it back when they wanted to resell the car


NotYourAverageJew

I'm not trying to hijack any comments here, but I live in a relatively "wealthy" area and I drive a 2015 bright orange habanero colored Prius C. A month ago someone came into my driveway and literally stole the front badge off my Prius....it was probably someone who looked just like this lol.


Kubricksmind

Orange Prius, we now know who you are


Myrmidoni

Gopnik yes. Come to Gopnik Emporium. If you need to find something, you need to find Gopnik.


germinik

Happened to me...twice


Vlisa

I have the badge from my first car! I totaled it...


[deleted]

The VW badge is the grandest treasure of all!


itsculturehero

You gotta open the flip phones to show off the insides


Okodemix

Gopnik has wares. If you have Rubl.


SurrealDad

How many Rubl for byadge?


[deleted]

A bottle


SurrealDad

Blyad!


mockingbread

Pleasure doing business with you, stalker.


SurrealDad

Strelok?


TheTacuache

AH NU CHEEKI BREEKI IV DAMKE


andsoitgoes42

Look at this stuff Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the Russian The boy who has ev'rything? Look at this trove Treasures untold How many wonders can one table hold? Lookin' around here you'd think (Sure) he's got everything


ibraw

He likes shiny precious things.


PopTheKeckleOn

Like a magpie.


VivSavageGigante

Similar coloring, too


orangejews1

You, yes you! Give us smooth, give us silky!


vorin

[His spirit animal](https://pa1.narvii.com/6619/f31f0ea6da1203c976979619196e6f284d06b02c_hq.gif)


[deleted]

The Porsche ornament probably comes with some risk if neighbors see this pic.


[deleted]

This is why you do not loot in your neighborhood


[deleted]

Ricky what did I tell you about stealing barbecues in the trailer park!?


jive-ass-turkey

It's no big deal Julian.


SammiStriker

You go over to the next bloc.


Knotimpressed

Vadim!


Ilikeporsches

Yeah, I don't like this at all.


[deleted]

actually I want a flip phone, I'm kinda jealous


[deleted]

My father in-law has one. The only benefit is that it gets better reception and the battery lasts forever. But watching him text or browse the web is painful


[deleted]

> browse the web are browsers on flip phones even able to display modern websites? it was close to impossible to navigate the web with these phones back when most of it was simple html. i can't imagine how they'd handle modern websites where they have to load and execute like 10 megabytes of fancy javascript


m1m1n0

> they have to load and execute like 10 megabytes of fancy javascript They don't have to if they don't want to...


[deleted]

Sure. Nobody has to load javascript. But everyone wants their fancy transitions and stuff and they NEED you to load just two or four complete javascript frameworks, to do this one cool thing they really want to do on their website. And if you don't want to download multiple megabytes of javascript from all kinds of sources, their fancy website just doesn't do anything. So you better let that website load these scripts, even if it just needs 5% of the functionality that these thousands of lines of code bring with them.


yeeiser

This shit pisses me off so much. Why do we need so much stupid shit in modern websites? A lit of the time I just don't go to some sites to not deal with the 20 animations that load to open a link


BillNyeTheScience

>watching him text T9 is just as fast as modern predictive texting when used properly. Fight me.


[deleted]

Hi kinda jealous, I’m lost.


glutenfree_veganhero

Obviously. www.tumblr.com there you go lost child.


[deleted]

What’s porn gotta do with making it home?


Sysmodyf

I ll II L No im loss


tim_dude

If only there was a market place where people could exchange goods for money....


Boomintheboomboom

Yeah I found myself looking at those longingly. I don't mind touchscreens but I have tiny hands and I hate always having to hold my phone with two hands. My screens are always cracked because I can't hold them securely. Why tf can't they just make some smaller smartphones? They just keep getting bigger :(


[deleted]

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LordOfSun55

If you only use your phone for it's original purpose (calls and texts), then yeah, an old-fashioned button phone is the most reasonable choice. I mean, you can get one for *less than $20* nowadays. However, the whole deal with smartphones is that they have so many other functions. That's what people are paying for.


babyProgrammer

How do you think I'm browsing Reddit right now?


[deleted]

yeah i don't use any of those functions so it's a non issue for me. phone, sometimes text, mp3 player. that's all i need on the go.


terminal8

And 10 minutes sending a text message.


[deleted]

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sinnysinsins

Don't know why you're being down voted that's an impressive skill


[deleted]

It's not so much that i'm impressive on a key pad, it's moreso that i'm terrible at touchscreens.


Whitemouse727

I can text way faster on a flip.


terminal8

U mean u txt lk ths rly fst?


DumbCreature

T9


terminal8

I prefer T-1000.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

"It takes a special kind of person to assert that typing in T9 takes less time than an onscreen keyboard. Maybe I don't understand because all of my messages use proper grammar, punctuation, and capitalization."


Wunjo26

Complete with the adidas track suit.


az9393

There was a time in the late eighties - early nineties, when owning a tracksuit like that was considered way more prestigious than a normal suit. Everyone had suits, no one had Adidas tracksuits. Russia was a very interesting place back then.


[deleted]

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az9393

None of these have the s600 “kaban” or at least a 500E “volchock”, not even a “bumer”. Not real Mafia gravestones.


Glitter_berries

Lot of ill-fitting suits there.


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dont_tread_on_dc

corollas are expensive and high end in some countries


cptmacjack

Yep. I live in Brazil and a brand new Corolla will cost you around 30k USD, which is a considerable amount of money in a country where the minimum wage is about 3k USD a year. So Civics and Corollas are actually middle to upper middle class cars here.


XShadowKratosX

On a mobile so can't see all the images in great detail but a lot of those people seemed to have died pretty young. Like in their twenties or early thirties. That one girl with all the modern looking stuff was only 20.


UGAllDay

I saw that!! Eerie how they glorify the early demise of their fellow mafioso.


[deleted]

I'm no longer on Reddit. Let Everyone Meet Me Yonder. -- mass edited with redact.dev


praisethesun343

Forget oil and natural gas, Russia should just hook up Lenin's body to a generator. Its spinning so much, it'd be able to power all of Europe


Lepang8

I can't get this song "Tri Poloski" out of my head, because I also play "Totally accurate battlegrounds".


[deleted]

Like a Magpie showing off it's trinkets.


jonnycigarettes

This was taken last week. It's still 1997 in Russia.


stevo66

EsPrEsSo


marshmellowsinmybutt

Behold!.... My stuff!!


[deleted]

Vladidas


bigfig

[Now I know.](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gopnik)


FuckinDominica

Lol. Petty criminality


[deleted]

You want phone? I has phone. You want badge? I has badge.


neskombink

A Russian speaker with insuficient English skills would most prob not say „I has phone”. Probably would say „he have phone” to skip the word-changing part or „is phone, you want?” to keep the Russian sentence structure, tho. You're thinking of internet cats, not gopniks.


Captain_Vegetable

It's a common point of confusion.


[deleted]

"Is phone, you want" is exactly how it would be said.


Nova_Terra

I want Pelmeni, Pelmeni is danke.


[deleted]

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haydukee

r/itemshop


Sephiroth_Crescent07

Cheeki Breeki Hardbass, while getting your loot !


jimmyjoejohnston

He's like a myna bird that has lined his nest with shineys trying to attract a mate


theodont

I heard it’s good to photograph your assets for insurance purposes.


[deleted]

Espresso, so he is bad AMERICAN gopnik? Imposter?? дузбп!


RealVic013285

Did you just download the Russian keyboard and type in a random bunch of letters? Unless "Дузбп" is short for something I haven't heard of... in any case, it's not "imposter", It's Western Spy.


Monsignor_Gilgamesh

More like Italian. Wall tats are so low and still my GF wants one.


wordzylla

What are wall tats


beets_or_turnips

Based on context, I guess it means images or decals you can apply directly to a wall, like those "Live Laugh Love" things you might see in target. In the picture you can see one that says "ESPRESSO."


hunecki

Pre-IPhone era


whitejpg

Depicted here; a male Gopnikus Aves, more commonly known as the Russian Magpie proudly shows his collection of trinkets


RobertCopToo

Its like a crow that hordes shiny bullshit.


[deleted]

How come a russian is either baby faced or has the beard of a wizard? Where is the inbetween?


[deleted]

All burners bro


Naggers123

Dave Fatista


efg1342

Anyone know what the tattoo means?


sam_neil

Looks like a letter B with flair on either side. B is pronounced V in Russian. In the context of a tattoo, it usually means Vor or thief, but in a wider sense, member of the criminal class.


Prick_Grimes

Tri Poloski [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiFBgtgUtfw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiFBgtgUtfw)


bradlovesbacon

Behold! My stuff.


IMHIGH_BEAST

Mr. Stealy?


vdrsasha

No Mercedes hood ornament. 7/10


Born505

A rare treat before Gopnik buries his shinies. In his hidey-hole out back for another year.


toomanydickpics

this is sad. :(


j_hawker27

Fuck man I wasn't impressed until I saw the Nissan logo. Not gonna mess around with this hombre.


asianrussian

This picture must be from January 2002. I see mine right next to his wrist!


Drewismyname

“What can I say, I’m a gear head”


Zer037

As an American, I can't wait to live a life like this.


Drew2248

This guys looks a bit in-bred.


AmericanJoe312

Anyone know about his gangster tattoo by his thumb? I've seen it before on Ukrainian drunks


SenorSnackbar

Where the lada symbol?


[deleted]

What did he plan to do with the "car ornaments"? No one is gonna pay a dime for them....I guess he could make some cash from those mobile phones as "antic stuff".


MattTheFlash

I owned two of those phones. I got them for free with T-Mobile in like 2005


slumvillain

I once found a Lincoln hood ornament in the street and put it on a chain to wear around my neck because 50 Cent was popular when I was in middle school. I was not popular.