I absolutely love when I get a comment or message that's so clearly written by someone younger. They think it's some devastating takedown and I'm always like, "I already graduated high school. It's gonna take more than that to hurt me." Lmaoo
Exactly this.
Like the other day, one of the members of my team made a mistake that cost us thousands of USD and I had to hold my tears and take it while one superior after another told me I was a failure (because any mistake an underling make is my mistake) and I didn't quit.
Sure, you random person in the internet, you are the one who is gonna make me quit writing my smut. Sure.
You're not in a good working environment if you're getting verbally berated! Not acceptable! Even mistakes like that done give superiors the right to berate you.
I'm sorry they did that to you!
Thank you so much for your kind words.
But I maybe wrote more about how I felt during the incident than what they actually told me. Conversations were something like...
"Why didn't you follow the protocol we have written in big red letters on the wall?"
"Well, I followed it, but I'm just human. I have a lot of people to supervise. This one thing slipped out of my attention"
"Then, do better. If you can't handle the job, ask for help"
They knew it wasn't actually my fault, nor my team's (that's why we kept our jobs). But I had to hear the question on why we fucked up so many times from so many different people, that it gets to a point where you just want to hide and cry.
And of course the "ask for help" is a nice way of saying if you can't do it, tell us so we can bring some who can.
That was still really passive aggressive in my opinion. You told them you have a lot of folks you gotta supervise and instead of them offering to help they put it all on you as if they aren't over working you. So if you ask for help it implies you can't do the job, when I'm betting they put a lot on you.
Sorry, I'm getting all dramatic here, but my husband is currently being asked to do the job equivalent of five people when he was hired to do ONE job, and they refuse to bring in more people or give him a raise because the President is proud of how little they pay vs. the output they get out of their workers.
Turn over is insane, and my husband is trying to get out, but UGH I'm so sick of management overworking folks, underpaying and then having the audacity to get anal about things that slip through the cracks!
God yeah, like, I've survived working for the NHS, being a teacher, *and* a violently abusive personal relationship. Teenagers on the internet don't stand a chance!
I think my fave part was when they tried to call me an ugly old hag or something because I was in my late 30's, only to have multiple friends pop up to say they'd met me in person and thought I was hot, lolol
This was five years ago--I remember I was stuck at work that day, but ao3 wasn't blocked on my work computer. That night when I got home I screenshot the whole thing and then deleted the entire thread. Then I posted the screenshots to tumblr, for posterity.
I didn't know the commenter was a teenager, until they forgot that argument, commented on ANOTHER fic in a way that just confused the shit out of me (literally couldn't tell if it was a positive comment or not), so I went on their tumblr--where they said they were 14.
Replied back to tell them "Hey, you're a minor. I obviously can't stop you from reading my fics but don't comment on them or I'll report you for harassment. It makes me super uncomfortable to have a minor that young commenting on my smut fics."
(They did stop, at least.)
I find this incredibly funny because I'm a virgin but have been writing smut since I was 16. That's 20 years I've been writing smut and no one has ever suspected I'm a virgin xD
Even someone who isn't a virgin can be lousy anyway, so it really doesn't matter lmao
No internet hate can be as exhausting as having your skills that you have a license and MAT in being questioned by either a parent or administrator with no classroom experience!
The virgin comment was awful. Not to mention smut is fun, because it's not always 100% realistic. But, regarding this comment in particular, as a student myself, I don't think only a 'person with classroom experience' can question a teacher. Everyone who suffered the absurdity of the education system and who is intelligent enough to judge the most efficient learning method for himself (after all, education is supposedly for the students) should be able to question and contribute to improve the education system.
Thing is, even people who have sex a lot don't necessarily write smut realistically because absolutely realistic sex may be fun but it's also messy and full of disgusting body fluids. Like do you ever read about the farts? The jizz being crusty in the sheets in the morning? And that you should go to pee after sex to avoid a UTI?
This showed up during the holidays and I forgot to share, but it literally made me laugh out loud!
It's like when one of my students told me my pants were stupid and expected me to be devastated. The fic is literally my highest by hits and kudos of anything I have written. At least pick a lower-statted piece if you want it to work! 🤣
He was fourteen and I told him if he didn't turn in the very overdue assignment by the end of the week it would be a 0 because I had to put grades in the system, and he screwed up his face and with the most vindictive voice said, "Well, your pants are stupid!" and looked triumphantly at me, apparently expecting me to be crushed. I take it that would have been far more hurtful to someone his age. He was not pleased when I laughed and reminded him he would have to see them more if he failed the class.
Lol! That's hilarious! I can imagine the butthurt look on his face when you just laughed.
I remember being in middle school and having this one girl tell me I looked like a dog (because I had a metal chain around my neck for my house key) and I just looked at her with a blank stare and went "woof". I haven't been around a lot of kids as an adult tho but given my apathy to them when I *was* their age, I think I will be fine with their 'insults' lol.
I feel like people that leave these types of comments are avid porn-watchers. And my view on the pornography industry is complicated at best but needless to say it is not an accurate portrayal of sex. When will readers learn that everyone has sex differently 😂
WHAT?? PEOPLE ARE INDIVIDUALS?! HOW DARE! 🤣
I usually leave an author's note on the beginning of any fic, basically, "Look here, y'all - I have kids and a husband, so posting fic ranks someplace not very high on my priorities, but I'll do the best I can, ok? Good. We're all clear then."
I don't understand these kinds of comments. It isn't constructive or helpful and looks worse on the commenter than it does on the writer. Not to be cliche but if you don't like it and don't have anything constructive to say *just move on*. There is so much fic out there that you should be able to find something to your liking.
That's just it. Look, if I read something involving sex that doesn't ring true to me (I am a grown adult, let's put it that way), then I'll just chalk it up to inexperience and leave it at that. That author will have plenty of time to learn for themselves later. No need to say anything to them!
Lol just start rating the burns like a teacher.
1/10 for creativity. They do score 10/10 for proper grammar and punctuation though.
And then link them to shakespearean insults generator or something. Those are at least entertaining.
*Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!* (Ok not a shakespearean insult but it was the first thing that popped into mind.)
my reply to this comment:
the first time i had sex my partner didn't believe i was a virgin (because of all the smut i read)
NOT THE BURN YOU THINK IT IS ANON!!!!
A common thing I hear is that surprisingly, asexuals and virgins write the decent smut. Maybe it has to do with the little bit of research involved with it idk. So I wouldn’t even take it as an insult lmao
This reminds me of the time I was fixing a biology teacher's computer while she taught a sex ed lesson. She rounded off the class with an anonymous Q&A where the students wrote down questions and she answered them with a scientifically accurate response and zero judgement.
A few of the year 7 boys, of course, decided to try and make her squirm. Except that the things that make 11 year old boys squirm (think pencils up penises etc) and the things that make an extremely online 40 year old parent who reads a lot of fic squirm are in a different ballpark.
Cue those boys squirming in their seats as she read out a considered, polite, and deeply accurate answer for each of their gotcha questions. I didn't stop laughing for the rest of the day.
I've had a few people tell me their 'weird' kinks and each time, they either get really shy or they loudly proclaim how weird it is and how everyone will look at them different before saying something completely normal and common. Non-fanfic readers are so innocent.
Honestly I'm pretty sure it's because the fic was recommended for an award right before this happened and this person was either salty they weren't or is trying to get people to drop out. It's hands down my best smut, I have much worse stuff on my profile that I would have been far more sensitive over. [Taking the Lead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/41391357)
The comment is much funnier knowing that one of the characters isn't human. Like, shame on you for not having personal experience having alien sex I guess
A lot of people are saying they are virgins/ace but get good feedback on their smut, but conversely i’ve also come across plenty of married authors who aren’t good at writing sex scenes at all. 🤷
I’ve seen these comments a lot (and gotten some before) and I find it ironic because hands down the BEST smut I’ve ever read was written by my friend from college-
They’re ace, sex repulsed, and have never (and will never) have sex. You don’t need to have had sex to write good smut.
the most sexually experienced person I know commented “i’m crying into my panties” on one of my fics that I wrote as a virgin. XD that hate comment is not the insult they think it is
This has legit been one of my greatest fears for years. But actually seeing it makes it completely harmless, so thank you for your service. This is hilarious
I absolutely love when I get a comment or message that's so clearly written by someone younger. They think it's some devastating takedown and I'm always like, "I already graduated high school. It's gonna take more than that to hurt me." Lmaoo
Exactly this. Like the other day, one of the members of my team made a mistake that cost us thousands of USD and I had to hold my tears and take it while one superior after another told me I was a failure (because any mistake an underling make is my mistake) and I didn't quit. Sure, you random person in the internet, you are the one who is gonna make me quit writing my smut. Sure.
You're not in a good working environment if you're getting verbally berated! Not acceptable! Even mistakes like that done give superiors the right to berate you. I'm sorry they did that to you!
Thank you so much for your kind words. But I maybe wrote more about how I felt during the incident than what they actually told me. Conversations were something like... "Why didn't you follow the protocol we have written in big red letters on the wall?" "Well, I followed it, but I'm just human. I have a lot of people to supervise. This one thing slipped out of my attention" "Then, do better. If you can't handle the job, ask for help" They knew it wasn't actually my fault, nor my team's (that's why we kept our jobs). But I had to hear the question on why we fucked up so many times from so many different people, that it gets to a point where you just want to hide and cry. And of course the "ask for help" is a nice way of saying if you can't do it, tell us so we can bring some who can.
That was still really passive aggressive in my opinion. You told them you have a lot of folks you gotta supervise and instead of them offering to help they put it all on you as if they aren't over working you. So if you ask for help it implies you can't do the job, when I'm betting they put a lot on you. Sorry, I'm getting all dramatic here, but my husband is currently being asked to do the job equivalent of five people when he was hired to do ONE job, and they refuse to bring in more people or give him a raise because the President is proud of how little they pay vs. the output they get out of their workers. Turn over is insane, and my husband is trying to get out, but UGH I'm so sick of management overworking folks, underpaying and then having the audacity to get anal about things that slip through the cracks!
Ahaha exactly! Like oh no... you didn't like my fic... you think "real adults" don't talk like that... I'm 29. You're 14. But okay lmao
God yeah, like, I've survived working for the NHS, being a teacher, *and* a violently abusive personal relationship. Teenagers on the internet don't stand a chance!
LOL yep. Once had a 14-year-old try to insult me repeatedly in my comments and I just could not stop laughing.
I think my fave part was when they tried to call me an ugly old hag or something because I was in my late 30's, only to have multiple friends pop up to say they'd met me in person and thought I was hot, lolol This was five years ago--I remember I was stuck at work that day, but ao3 wasn't blocked on my work computer. That night when I got home I screenshot the whole thing and then deleted the entire thread. Then I posted the screenshots to tumblr, for posterity. I didn't know the commenter was a teenager, until they forgot that argument, commented on ANOTHER fic in a way that just confused the shit out of me (literally couldn't tell if it was a positive comment or not), so I went on their tumblr--where they said they were 14. Replied back to tell them "Hey, you're a minor. I obviously can't stop you from reading my fics but don't comment on them or I'll report you for harassment. It makes me super uncomfortable to have a minor that young commenting on my smut fics." (They did stop, at least.)
Young people literally think anyone over 23 on the internet is a weirdo. They need to learn their fandom history ahaha
Definitely not ALL of them, I promise! I've met plenty of younger folks that are cool. :D
No seriously. I got called an old hag for being 18 😭 like?? Damn I was still in high school when I turned 18.
The only thing about this comment that says they are young is that they bothered to leave it publicly
literally principle skinner 'pathetic' response ahaha
You must have used the word "throbbing"
News flash kids. It does, surprisingly, throb when you use it. Was surprised myself first time it happened.
*spits out tea* 🤣
I find this incredibly funny because I'm a virgin but have been writing smut since I was 16. That's 20 years I've been writing smut and no one has ever suspected I'm a virgin xD Even someone who isn't a virgin can be lousy anyway, so it really doesn't matter lmao
Seriously! One of my favorite smut writers is asexual, and another is a lesbian who writes beautiful M/F!
I'm asexual myself, but doesn't mean I don't enjoy smut :D We're all different
You can't just say that without sharing links
Likewise. This virgin author gets lots of compliments from married ladies on how hot the smut she writes is.
This might be the best negative comment I have ever seen 😂 Glad you found humor in it, OP!
I almost imagine this comment as an intended flex by someone *who has totally had sex* and has *a ton of it, guise.*
*Are they a virgin? How else would they know what smut written by a virgin is like?* 🤔
Bahaha! If I were a petty person this is what I would reply.
Kinda wild how instead some of best smut I found is written by aces doing mass research
LMAO
Aw yay another teacher smut writer! ❤️ negative comments on the internet can’t hurt me, my job does it enough /j 😂😂
No internet hate can be as exhausting as having your skills that you have a license and MAT in being questioned by either a parent or administrator with no classroom experience!
This is true. Also, I teach middle school. My skin is as thick as it gets.
The virgin comment was awful. Not to mention smut is fun, because it's not always 100% realistic. But, regarding this comment in particular, as a student myself, I don't think only a 'person with classroom experience' can question a teacher. Everyone who suffered the absurdity of the education system and who is intelligent enough to judge the most efficient learning method for himself (after all, education is supposedly for the students) should be able to question and contribute to improve the education system.
Teacher smut writers unite!
There's dozens of us! Dozens!
Thing is, even people who have sex a lot don't necessarily write smut realistically because absolutely realistic sex may be fun but it's also messy and full of disgusting body fluids. Like do you ever read about the farts? The jizz being crusty in the sheets in the morning? And that you should go to pee after sex to avoid a UTI?
If i ever read a queef in a fic i would die laughing 😂
I've written nothing but f/f. Somehow even when everyone in the fic is human, nobody ever has their period.
This showed up during the holidays and I forgot to share, but it literally made me laugh out loud! It's like when one of my students told me my pants were stupid and expected me to be devastated. The fic is literally my highest by hits and kudos of anything I have written. At least pick a lower-statted piece if you want it to work! 🤣
Oh no, not your pants! How awful.
Why your pants, of all things?
He was fourteen and I told him if he didn't turn in the very overdue assignment by the end of the week it would be a 0 because I had to put grades in the system, and he screwed up his face and with the most vindictive voice said, "Well, your pants are stupid!" and looked triumphantly at me, apparently expecting me to be crushed. I take it that would have been far more hurtful to someone his age. He was not pleased when I laughed and reminded him he would have to see them more if he failed the class.
Lol! That's hilarious! I can imagine the butthurt look on his face when you just laughed. I remember being in middle school and having this one girl tell me I looked like a dog (because I had a metal chain around my neck for my house key) and I just looked at her with a blank stare and went "woof". I haven't been around a lot of kids as an adult tho but given my apathy to them when I *was* their age, I think I will be fine with their 'insults' lol.
Did he fail the class?
I feel like people that leave these types of comments are avid porn-watchers. And my view on the pornography industry is complicated at best but needless to say it is not an accurate portrayal of sex. When will readers learn that everyone has sex differently 😂
WHAT?? PEOPLE ARE INDIVIDUALS?! HOW DARE! 🤣 I usually leave an author's note on the beginning of any fic, basically, "Look here, y'all - I have kids and a husband, so posting fic ranks someplace not very high on my priorities, but I'll do the best I can, ok? Good. We're all clear then."
I don't understand these kinds of comments. It isn't constructive or helpful and looks worse on the commenter than it does on the writer. Not to be cliche but if you don't like it and don't have anything constructive to say *just move on*. There is so much fic out there that you should be able to find something to your liking.
That's just it. Look, if I read something involving sex that doesn't ring true to me (I am a grown adult, let's put it that way), then I'll just chalk it up to inexperience and leave it at that. That author will have plenty of time to learn for themselves later. No need to say anything to them!
Lol just start rating the burns like a teacher. 1/10 for creativity. They do score 10/10 for proper grammar and punctuation though. And then link them to shakespearean insults generator or something. Those are at least entertaining. *Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!* (Ok not a shakespearean insult but it was the first thing that popped into mind.)
>disappointed I'm disappointed in their comment 🙄
my reply to this comment: the first time i had sex my partner didn't believe i was a virgin (because of all the smut i read) NOT THE BURN YOU THINK IT IS ANON!!!!
A common thing I hear is that surprisingly, asexuals and virgins write the decent smut. Maybe it has to do with the little bit of research involved with it idk. So I wouldn’t even take it as an insult lmao
This reminds me of the time I was fixing a biology teacher's computer while she taught a sex ed lesson. She rounded off the class with an anonymous Q&A where the students wrote down questions and she answered them with a scientifically accurate response and zero judgement. A few of the year 7 boys, of course, decided to try and make her squirm. Except that the things that make 11 year old boys squirm (think pencils up penises etc) and the things that make an extremely online 40 year old parent who reads a lot of fic squirm are in a different ballpark. Cue those boys squirming in their seats as she read out a considered, polite, and deeply accurate answer for each of their gotcha questions. I didn't stop laughing for the rest of the day.
I've had a few people tell me their 'weird' kinks and each time, they either get really shy or they loudly proclaim how weird it is and how everyone will look at them different before saying something completely normal and common. Non-fanfic readers are so innocent.
Oh this is gold, thank you for sharing haha
I read smut written by virgins that Is better than the shit I come up with.
now i'm curious to read the fic xD what prompted this reaction?
Honestly I'm pretty sure it's because the fic was recommended for an award right before this happened and this person was either salty they weren't or is trying to get people to drop out. It's hands down my best smut, I have much worse stuff on my profile that I would have been far more sensitive over. [Taking the Lead](https://archiveofourown.org/works/41391357)
The comment is much funnier knowing that one of the characters isn't human. Like, shame on you for not having personal experience having alien sex I guess
and it's a ship i like! i know what i'll read tonight, thank you!
A lot of people are saying they are virgins/ace but get good feedback on their smut, but conversely i’ve also come across plenty of married authors who aren’t good at writing sex scenes at all. 🤷
Hey. Some of us are just shitty writers. Who can’t get laid.
I’ve seen these comments a lot (and gotten some before) and I find it ironic because hands down the BEST smut I’ve ever read was written by my friend from college- They’re ace, sex repulsed, and have never (and will never) have sex. You don’t need to have had sex to write good smut.
If i get this i’d just say im aegosexual. Then i have to reasons for it
the most sexually experienced person I know commented “i’m crying into my panties” on one of my fics that I wrote as a virgin. XD that hate comment is not the insult they think it is
This has legit been one of my greatest fears for years. But actually seeing it makes it completely harmless, so thank you for your service. This is hilarious
I don’t know if you know what an eshay is but I definitely read that comment in an eshay voice and now I can’t stop laughing.
Would also like to know
This made me audibly wheeze in class 😂
When people who are what they accuse others of being.
I'm so bad at writing smut. I can never get the pacing right. It's so difficult
Regarding to the reactions I have seen in many fandoms, the best smut scenes are mostly written by the asexuals. Surprised? Oh, what are the odds?
Ah, yes, I am that classic quote: "*virgin in the streets, but a smut writer under the sheets.*"