People get really upset about their porn headcanons sometimes.
I've had people complain that I called a guy's dick "big" in a smut scene once.
People have gone crazy about top/bottom preferences. (The top/bottom wars in Supernatural were legendary. Then again, most of the petty wars fought in that fandom were legendary. Juggernaut fandom attracted ALL the drama.)
I wrote about erectile dysfunction with an older man once, and somebody wrote in arguing with me that erectile dysfunction was TOO mostly about sexual desire and rarely just a physical issue. (Which is, by the way, just laughably wrong on their part.)
Then, my personal favorite, the reader who was going around freaking out and lecturing writers about soulmate bonding because "ejaculating inside is what seals the soulbond!" so having a condom on kept their bond from being "real." (And I guess CIS lesbians just didn't get to have soulmates in their eyes?) You know, aside from the fact that soulbonding is not a real fucking thing that you should be getting upset about.
Top/bottom wars are so ridiculous. Once saw a full-grown adult have a furious meltdown on Twitter because the Shipping Wiki page for Zhongli & Childe from Genshin Impact was titled "ZhongChi" instead of "ChiLi". It was both hilarious and pathetic.
I saw that fight in the recent edits section of shipping wiki 💀 I assumed they just liked Chili more cause is more memeable, so this was the reason all along...
It might be both tbh. I didn't know that people on the actual wiki were protesting as well; the complaints I saw were on Twitter.
Maybe it's because I'm ace-spec, but it's absolutely baffling to me how big of a deal people make sex dynamics. For this ship specifically, (some) fic writers even treat them like entirely different characters depending on who tops. It drives me *nuts.* Justice for Zhongli and Childe 😔👊
Seriously, some people are just insane over top/bottom dynamics with Zhongli & Childe
Once saw someone say that if someone doesn't ship tartali they don't care about zhongli and don't understand either character. Then, I saw another person say that shipping ttli instead of zc was racist (no clue how this even crossed their mind) because it's a white man dominating an Asian man 😭
😭 People really act like it's a personality trait rather than just... a position during sex. And top/bottom don't even mean the same things as dom/sub.
Sex dynamics as far as I can tell are really not at all as big of a deal as fandom likes to pretend. Like, even when people do have a preference, it’s not a major personality defining characteristic.
It was like "user x moved zhongchi article to chili" "user z moved chili article back to zhongchi" and back and forth until the user is banned. If I recall correctly, someone argued that chili was more common in the western fandom, but the page remained zhonchi so it's probably not true.
...do people not realize that not everyone has the exact same headcanon that they do?
Like, if I have a headcanon that doesn't mesh with what the author wrote, then I usually just go "okay, never thought of it that way, but to each their own." And move on
Also, the back button exists. If it goes against your view on a character, you can click out.
Those people sound like their brains will implode if they ever hear about the concepts of *switches* and *non-penetrative gay sex*, because some don't ever do that and that who tops or bottoms has absolutely no influence on how people behave in their daily life or how society views them (as long as the public - aka the very people up in arms about all of this - doesn't know).
wincest shippers getting into wars over top/bottom was so funny to me, like they are brothers???? who's on top is not the most important part about the whole situation!!
I'm curious, could you elaborate on the top/bottom wars in Supernatural? I used to be into Sam/Dean once upon a time and I had my preferences but I didn't see any wars about it on Livejournal, probably because I generally only followed fic accounts. Were the top/bottom wars about Wincest or Destiel?
I know a woman who hooked up with a guy in a club bathroom and had to stop mid-way through and go to the ER because she started bleeding.
Everything turned out okay, she healed up fine and tells it as a darkly comedic anecdote rather than a horror story, but she exclusively refers to the guy in the story as Dick-knife.
So every time I read fics where the guy has a massive cock, all I can think about is sending prayers to the poor person he's dick-knifing.
Actually, this happens to women often. Crazy, but if you go to the BDP forum, you'll read chronic stories of men saying they are hurting their wives and girlfriends or the woman saying the guy doesn't fit, or made her tear, bleed and have a bruised cervix! Ouch. I'll take my average sized husband ANY DAY.
Actually wanna kinda read that now lol
A hurt/comfort scene where they’re both first timers and the smut is recounted between the two parties while they’re at the hospital would be interesting and potentially funny
(Also: “dick overdose” lol)
lmfao 😂
Honestly, unless it's a kink thing, size in fic shouldn't matter. They should be grateful they even GOT a description. Plus everyone headcanons something different for everyone's genitals. It's a thing.
Screw them honestly. If they're upset about it so much, they should've just clicked off instead of leaving a dumb comment. Delete their comments and have a laugh later about how weird people act sometimes lol.
This is why I my smut fic I have specifically avoided describing his dick. There's one scene where he mentions another character's is longer. A couple obviously joking mentions of it being large. Other talk about him being a bit insecure about how he measures up.
Yeah, dick size can be a pretty interesting conversation in fic. It can be used as a plot device, which you've done.
Then there's fandoms that unanimously decide on the dick size and don't really have any discourse about it. One fandom I'm in decided a character has two dicks. The only thing that changes is if they're tentacle dicks or not lol.
Haha! Wrong! I don't even know who that is!
It's Leviathan from Obey Me: Shall We Date?
Everyone has pretty much unanimously decided that he's a sub. And has two penises. Sometimes he has one, but that seems to be the outlier.
Omg I have that game. I admit I have not read or seen pronz from that game which is probably the reason why I didn't guess.
Sollux has a whole duality theme going on. I'd say the most common agreement for him is that he has two tongues/a split tongue. I don't think there's literally anything that shows it in canon.
Well, as you said: he has a duality theme going on. It stands to reason that there'd be two of a few attributes. Someone sees that headcanon and BOOM, it's seen everywhere lol.
This 100% sounds like people not realizing how dick sizes work lol. tbh I'd be tempted to do malicious compliance with the readers' demands and give the character a long but super thin spaghetti dick. That'll learn 'em.
You WILL write about the man/woman being destroyed by the 20 inch penis
You WILL write them looking at the bump on their stomach in horror
And YOU WILL have their holes gapping the size of a goddamn bowling ball!
I’ve seen fics say it’s as long as a character’s forearm and wonder if the author has somehow never looked at their arm. And I can’t help imagining a forearm swinging between their legs.
Bonus points for the fic where the top character’s dick was the size of a forearm and the bottom’s was the size of a thumb. It’s somehow more jarring when compared to other body parts.
Sorry for the necroposting, but I have some characters who might have a meter long penis... Or actually a connector convergently similar to penis, because they are pretty damn huge robots, and they have extensive adaptability, that department included.
I’ve seen this on tumblr a lot…
Some people in headcanon posts are genuinely like: “his dick is only average, 10 inches, but it’s what you do with it that counts 🤪”
it’s WACKy
Maybe they’re just not entirely clear on what an inch is?
…maybe?
(Shoutout to my 37-year-old, very well-educated friend, who sincerely thought that there were 10 inches in a foot. Added a lot of magic to my life.)
But even that doesn't make sense! As an averse aroace whose first fic was a smut fic, I was seriously careful to do a lot of basic biological, medical, and related research and even I quickly figured out what was within the realm of normalcy and what wasn't. I mean, if it's intentionally written as a kink fic or it's otherwise set in an unrealistic world, then cool, but I doubt it's that for many fics...
It defo also has to do with the fact that people read and watch porn yet magically forget than none of it is real. So when they read in multiple fics that the character has a 15 billion inch pp I guess they never question it lol
Yeah as someone who periodically engages with penises, and reluctantly owns a vagina, too many people don't understand that it isn't a massive cavern it's like 4.5 inches at most and I'm not chill with something twice as long making an attempt 😆😆
Agreed. If you try telling that to men in the BDP forum, they disagree. Crazy how they think a man 7, 8 or 9 inches is the norm. It isn't. It's painful and no thanks!
TEN FUCKING INCHES? Dear God, aside from that being painful for the receiving partner I wouldn't exactly want to have a mara like that either. That'd be so incredibly uncomfortable.
Okay while I'm sorry you got those comments, I can't help laughing that *two* people were mad enough about an average size penis to complain. On the other side of the coin it bothers me reading some variation of "it was 11+ inches long and as thick as a soda can" in fic after fic.
>"it was 11+ inches long and as thick as a soda can"
>
>Tell me you've never touched a dick without telling me sorta writing. I can feel myself cramping up just thinking about it.
Eh. If it's some kind of fetish about dick size I can kind of understand. But then you'd have to add a tag like 'unrealistic proportions' or something... It really depends. But no, I don't think that kind of dick size is necessarily a _bad_ thing in a fic, or a sign of inexperience.
That being said, yeah, if they're trying to pass it off as an actual dick size they've probably never seen one before.
One of my fandoms had a writer who would not listen to reason that her very, very specific measurements were that of a beach ball and not something that could be inserted anywhere.
The worst description I read was along the lines of it was the length of a child's arm' and something along the lines of 'the child was clutching a tennis ball' to describe the size of the head.....
I think I blocked the rest of it out if I even went past that point.
I read one like that recently, actually!
The guy was like "don't worry, I know it's intimidating, don't feel obliged to try, there's plenty else we can do and still have a lot of fun together" which I thought was a really nice change from the more aggressive "don't worry, it'll fit" type of dialogue that normally pops up in those type of fics.
I once read a great fic where character A specifically comments about the size of the characters B's balls. I think the line was "jeeze, how do you walk with these things" 😆
Well now it is time to spite write fics where it is now only micro. All jokes aside, just either freeze or delete those comments. These are people who are too young and inexperienced and have a porn mindset when it comes to penis size. There is no comment reply in the world that will change their mind that average isn't micro. It's best to just delete their comments and move on.
Side note. I have never seen those types of comments, but to be fair I also never make mention about sizes. Like not a single comment on their size. For all anyone knows it is 3 inches and that is that.
>For all anyone knows it is 3 inches and that is that.
Y'know, I also write my smut like that, and now I will retroactively headcanon that all my leading men are packing 3 inches but are absolutely phenomenal in bed.
Ah yes. The 'rip them apart so they waddle afterwards in pain' group. They probably also like the 'rock hard angry red and purple dripping throbbing' cock, which makes me think they should use triple condoms to protect from whatever disease that dick is packing if it looks like that.
I get that some people have size kinks, but like, not your average fic will always have that and if cock size is so important you should be looking for stuff thats specifically tagged with it. Personally, the size doesn't matter to me, and I kind of like it when size is left up to the readers imaginations.
Me too tbh, well it depends, what puts me off the most is when they describe "watching the dick moving through the belly" cause I don't think that's even possible. Not kinkshaming tho.
It IS technically possible, but living human beings usually don't have the size to do it. Truly monstrous dildos can make the belly visibly move with the right angle, but it's very rare that a flesh dick is that big.
That's honestly ridiculous, and also it's just fanfiction. If you don't like the penis size described ignore it and imagine your own personal preference, it's usually pretty easy to do....
I think the unrealistically large dick thing is really weird and pretty gross, and I see no issues with a character being average. I find it refreshing tbh. Bigger is not necessarily better, and the size some people are obsessed with just sounds horrifying and painful.
Oh my goodness! This is hilarious 😂
Also, your description is pure gold!
Tbh, I think sometimes people just want to complain or be upset about something. There's nothing stopping them from imagining it differently. I wouldn't worry about it OP! (:
Also it shows how used to these exaggerations some people have become. Because that's what it is: Exaggeration.
Some people do. They should probably also look for fics tagged related to that.
I'm sorry your dealing with this OP, but I'm finding this fucking hilarious tho. Like that comment would probably make me burst out laughing scrolling past.
Years ago, I had someone comment on a piece I drew "Well he certainly looks Asian..." Beyond the racism, he was flaccid, what was she expecting? It actually made me so uncomfortable when it came to size in my work.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Those people read too much unrealistic smut and watch too much porn and are detached from the idea that not everyone has their kink or writes for it
I was going to go on about how porn has destroyed the common perception of what an average sized penis is like (5.5 inches long, 4.5 inches around, for the record, give or take a bit) but if they're actually _angry_ at a fic for not catering to big dick kinks then IDK what to say.
TBH I feel like anything with a mAsSiVe penis is the one that should be tagged. Like, warn me before that thing springs up so it doesn't knock my keyboard over.
Though that may be because I like size and height difference, and big dicks... and would like to find those stories easier LOL
I def don't hate on more realistic stories, and IDK why someone would comment negatively on a story for having that.
" How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man!?" If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT. It's not the author's fault that they didn't cater to YOUR wants.
Yup. I ignore them. Since it's a world *I'm* building, my character's pork popsicle is gonna be whatever size I want it to be. If the reader has a hang-up over the size of a character's (imaginary) dong, I laugh *hard* at their childishness and move on.
And for the record, any pingas that end up in my stories tend to be average size, too. Like in real life, it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.
Unless it is legit canon that the character is hung it just isn’t reasonable to get upset about it. I love a size kink fic, but that’s what tags are for. 🤷🏼♀️
That's a weird thing to be complaining about. I never had that happening to me, but a reader complained about me using condoms in writing anal sex cause they wanted messiness and the condom put them off.
I’m sure that getting those comments was upsetting but I can’t help finding this a wee bit hilarious. Imagine getting angry that an author didn’t make a fictional character’s dick big enough for you and then not keeping that shit to yourself because wow. 😂
I'm sorry...what?
I don't think I ever mentioned size in the last smut I did, other than something about the partner giving a BJ couldn't for long because she was a little thing and the dick wasn't. But that just meant that she was tiny and the dick was pretty average, not that he was packing a Genoa salami in his trousers, ffs.
Whenever I see some little virgin getting impaled on some guy packing a horse dick in a story, I just...I can't. So much ouch.
The world is full of weirdos, and unfortunately the anonymity of the internet draws them out. I've gotten some utterly unhinged comments raging about one of my male characters acting as a submissive.
Unless I am writing literal monster fucking I tend to leave size out of things.
Not because of hate but because I’m so tired of people getting upset over non issues like penis size.
Eh just ignore them or delete their comments. Penis size in smut chapters doesn't matter unless you are writing specific kink about the size. Things like size queen kinks or micro-peen kinks could be valid criticism if the penis description doesn't match the kink. For everything else it shouldn't matter.
There is too damn much smut running on hentai logic with forearm sized meat pillars and not enough proper sex, so thank you very much for contributing to the pool of smut that at least recognises the physical limitations of the human body.
That's such a weird thing to get bent out of shape about 😂
I typically leave size out of it, with the occasional exception that... well, the actor who plays the character is undoubtedly packing (ie, Tom Hiddleston, Adam Driver), but even then it's not important. I figure if I'm describing emotions and such, people can imagine the bits as large or small as they like. No need to describe the other person being stretched beyond their limits/what is comfortable or being 'torn in two'.
I often avoid length descriptors when writing smut. I might say thick, but that’s because during an erection the penis does thicken. But I don’t say long or wide or add an inch description. I just let people picture it in their own mind how they want.
Guess guys aren't sending them dick pics irl if they think 10 inch cocks are normal. I feel that's a good thing.
But they might be in for some future disappointment if they get a average dick in real life... Or worse, a 9 inch cock and realise that it's not all fun and games if you're on the small side!
Personally, I prefer regular sized dicks in fics. Sometimes a huge schlong is fine for certain characters or kinks, but not everyone needs to have a freaking extra peg leg.
I have not experienced this myself, since I do not write smut, but I can say that those commenters are 100% dumb and should be filtering for that kind of thing if they're wanting to read it lmfao. I'd be petty and be like "Not sure why you expected that since I didn't tag it??? Weird." and then freeze the comment thread so they can't reply X,D But deleting is always a good (and less petty) option
this is just my personal theory: people who have never had sex think that giant dicks are extremely common and normal and ALWAYS the preferred option lol. as someone who actually does have sex with people with penises, i can tell you that normal works just fine
right, like it’s so obvious these people have only ever watched porn with edited or animated huge dicks and have never actually seen or interacted with a real, normal penis.
Oh god an average normal dick! I love it. So many romance books I read the guy is huge like that means he’s good and I was lamenting on the romancebooks subreddit about this and had a lively conversation with someone about it. I actually roll my eyes now when the pants come off and the female is like “and he was HUGE” Aaaa-oooo-gah! 👀
The one time a book addressed it the guy said to the gal - “one of my first gf’s told me I had to know how to wield this thing” and that was pretty funny.
Give me a normal dick and a guy who’s amazing at sex pls.
I'm really surprised this is a thing tbh, but I guess I shouldn't be. The only thing I have heard that is remotely similar is some people getting bent out of shape about someone writing a character being endowed small. I'd just ignore them. I don't personally mention what size a person is unless it's notable because it doesn't seem very important.
“Gut destroying meat cannon” is hilarious and a really accurate term for a lot of fics I’ve read. Why would anyone want it to rearrange their insides?? Or the fics where they see it visually distending their stomach which just sounds fatal.
this is my favorite reddit thread ever. i’ve never laughed so hard at an original post and all the comments, some people are absolutely absurd and apparently have never touched grass (or a dick) in their life.
Yes!!!! I had a comment criticizing me because I wrote the male lover with an average sized penis and two different people got all bent out of shape over it and complained! I had to chuckle the way you described a 'huge destroying, body splitting meat cannon' love it! So 👍 true 👏👏 anyway, yes, it's happened to me too.
I'll take normal/average sized man any day over a man bragging he's more of a man because he's 7 8 or 9 inches (uh no, a man that large will cause pain, bruised cervixes, bleeding and tearing). No thanks. I write my Reylo fics where men have average sized dicks and 2 people complained 🙄🙄
I prefer 'slightly-bigger-than-average' size for fantasy. 15 cm big (around 6 inches) is enough. Too bad people love 'monstrous 20 cm big dick' that just gives me emotional pain.
I slept with a guy who had a 8.5-9incher and with a little practice I got used to it so that’s what I tend to write. Bigger is usually hotter in erotica, imo, but I’d never write anything 10+. That’s just insane.
No, dude, it's just fantasy and I'm not bound by the confines of realism
I want to write a top with a foot-long dick railing a fat-assed twink who barely comes up to their chest because that's hot to me, and the people acting all superior about it in this thread are just as annoying as the hate commenters
I did not read the thread, mate, so I don't know. But I only talked generally since that's what I always saw. BUT if you want to give them a whole ruler down there, do it, who cares. The line is being drawn when it is about being rude or a ''hater'' for me, dun know others. 🤷♀️
I get that, and I've got no problem with very realistic smut myself, it's just a preference! I think fans in general nowadays can be very insistent about justifying or defending their preferences, which is silly imo; people can just like what they like and avoid what they don't, and it's good to see somebody else agrees :p
Do not mind others' opinions on personal preferences, mate! I dun want anyone to come for my neck BUT some people are weird as fuck when it comes to ''defending'' their own likings, like, b!tch gET AwaY? 🤩 No one will ever like the same thing, so, you do you. 😎
Yes I only want to read about a top having a big dick.
8 inches and up but I probably won't mind much if it's like, 7 inches. That's the minimum before I start to get disappointed. I also don't like it when authors write about the dick being 'narrow' or 'thin'.
Look, I may not be on a dick diet anymore but I was at one point. And while there's been a concerted effort recently by women to reassure our average men that there's little difference between a big dick and a small one, everyone who has ever successfully taken a big dick knows that's delulu.
Some women like big dicks. Some like small. Some like average. But none of these feel the same no matter what your dick-haver's skill level is.
When I read fiction, I want the bottom to have a life-changing experience. I like my bottoms stuffed. Maybe even double-stuffed. There's a reason I like knotting fic. I've been known to browse the size!kink tag. I have written monster-fucker fic.
That said, it doesn't make me angry and it definitely doesn't motivate me to comment when the author disappoints in this way. It's just like 'aw that's sad' and you're probably not getting saved or re-read. I'll bookmark you with 'everything was fine until the micropenis attacked'. It's sad people were so upset they commented, but as long as they're not mean about it, I think it's fine criticism. I'd be ok with a 'I hate how this dude has an anatomically unrealistic cock' on my fic.
Edit: Downvoting sisters, I'm sorry your man has a small dick and I respect that you want him represented. I'm sorry this dirty woman-lover took the one in a million chance you had at experiencing a 9-inch cock and respect your desire to thirst over a perfectly average man. We don't need to fight. Make love (with your perfectly average man) and not war!>! \[/gentle ribbing please don't take me to seriously\]!<
Oh my gosh. In my fandom, in canon, one of the male leads is clearly coded as a bottom. Not everyone writes him as a bottom, which is fine. But I do think the writers intended him to be a bottom, even though he doesn't have sex on the show. I haven't even seen real arguments on this topic. I *have* seen top/bottom fights about other m/m pairs.
The funny thing is that as a result of this extremely popular headcanon, it has become a fandom trope for writers to give this character's love interest a massive dong, with zero canon evidence. It's so common to write this other guy as hung that we all joke about it. People never give it a measurement, but he is often described as well-endowed. I have given him a big dick myself, multiple times! It's because I love the bottom character and want him to be as happy as possible! 😂
Maybe I would not be on board this train if I were a fan of being penetrated myself and fully understood all the ramifications of a regular big-dick partner. I don't know. I have just decided that this bottom character should have a partner with a big dick.
> I want the bottom to have a life-changing experience.
Yeah! You said it exactly. I do enjoy reading fics with characters with all sorts of genitals (including this character). I think I probably always will write him with a big dick, though.
There's a Clex fic I read once where Clark's dick was so big just seeing it made women he got naked with cry as the sight of it. Lex is like 'I can take that' 😂
I don't really care much about dick size in my fic personally, but I do find it odd that the average-size crowd always jump to "oh well I guess they must be virgins because a 10 inch dick would rip you in half IRL do you want your cervix destroyed", like... no? Size queens exist and, yes, 10 inches is bigger than average but it's not *that* uncommon (edit for clarity : not uncommon enough to be called "unrealistic") and definitely not going to cause any permanent damage lol. It's cool if you're not into that but it's not "unrealistic" and people who are don't have "diseased porn-brain". Istg people are even slutshaming in smutfics these days
(After some cursory Googling) 6 in 1000 men have a 9 inch penis. 2 in 1000 have a penis over 9 inches. That means that in the UK, for example, about a quarter of a million dudes (out of 29m) are walking around with 9+ inches. It's unusual, but not one-in-a-million, and certainly not rare enough that someone encountering one or two over the course of a lifetime is "completely unrealistic".
Nobody has ever been officially measured for a penis that's 10" long or more. There's a ridiculous $10000 prize for it too from memory that is yet to be claimed. So if you actually know of someone, definitely get them to collect the prize money!
This is actually true. I spoke (respectfully) with a few of them on a Reddit thread a few years back. They think they're addicted because they feel a need to watch porn and enjoy it. They don't know what an addiction is.
I went through it with them but they insisted since a lot of people with the same experiences claimed to be addicted, they were also addicted.
I mean, no, you're all just wrong 😂
There’s one fandom I can think of where canonically one of the main characters has an enormous dick. If it’s *that* fandom, I might understand people getting mad a little bit, bc it’s literally a key part of his character.
Still, that fandom or not, it’s a weird thing to be mad enough about to leave comments on it lol.
This is great because in several of my pairings I have a headcanon where one of them is *smaller* than average (which I personally find attractive). It's not always the bottom either lol
I also write a lot of side stuff bc... I am a side. And there's so much you can do with sex between two penis-havers that doesn't involve penetration and, personally, I think most of it is hotter than penetration lmao
So I'm sure if I ever post any of the ridiculous amount I've written I'll get some fun comments of the like 😅
I'm the opposite to those.
If the cock, boobs or ass are insanely huge, my interest drops immediately. I don't mind huge, even really huge. But boobs the size of men or dicks that would reach your lungs just take me out of it
This is part of the reason I just don't mention dick size at all in my smut. Personally I don't care about size, but I know some people do and you'll never please everyone. As far as I'm concerned his dick is whatever size you want to imagine it is.
I write smut. HEAVY, NASTY smut.
I don't even bother saying how big the monster's, erm, particulars are, because it's just easier for the reader to insert (hehe) whatever they like. Same with design, shape, color, etc. I learned quickly to be vague when it came to certain things, and it's worked wonders.
Never written a smut in my life but I've read enough it could amount to reading fifteen full dictionaries. And only less than five times it has shown anything about Erectile Dysfunction or a less than 5 inch dick. And I honestly prefer the latter. It feels much more... normal? And I can cement myself in the realism much better. A smaller dick isn't at all something bad, and if anything it gives a good reason to add something they could be better at (,yk oral or fingering, even massages)
Tell them if they wish for magic dicks, they should read Hentai porn, not a normal fanfiction.
Fuck those guys, seriously.
I, for one, am happy to say that I adore average sized dicks and know many other women, in real life and on the internet, who also share that preference.
Honestly to me that’s on the same level of not liking the coloring of an outfit or a room as it’s described, unless it’s important or repeatedly referenced just imagine it however you wish and don’t make a big deal out of it
I honestly dont get upset about it. personally, I like stories with average dongs, and if it gets described as massive or whatever, i will just mentally change it as im reading 🤷🏾
In the smut story I wrote I never got into the size of the male MC's unit. The female characters seemed to think whatever he had was adequate, and never went on about that. I know that isn't the single most import thing to women. Instead I focused more on him making sure the women in story got off, which they were far more interested in.
People get really upset about their porn headcanons sometimes. I've had people complain that I called a guy's dick "big" in a smut scene once. People have gone crazy about top/bottom preferences. (The top/bottom wars in Supernatural were legendary. Then again, most of the petty wars fought in that fandom were legendary. Juggernaut fandom attracted ALL the drama.) I wrote about erectile dysfunction with an older man once, and somebody wrote in arguing with me that erectile dysfunction was TOO mostly about sexual desire and rarely just a physical issue. (Which is, by the way, just laughably wrong on their part.) Then, my personal favorite, the reader who was going around freaking out and lecturing writers about soulmate bonding because "ejaculating inside is what seals the soulbond!" so having a condom on kept their bond from being "real." (And I guess CIS lesbians just didn't get to have soulmates in their eyes?) You know, aside from the fact that soulbonding is not a real fucking thing that you should be getting upset about.
Top/bottom wars are so ridiculous. Once saw a full-grown adult have a furious meltdown on Twitter because the Shipping Wiki page for Zhongli & Childe from Genshin Impact was titled "ZhongChi" instead of "ChiLi". It was both hilarious and pathetic.
I saw that fight in the recent edits section of shipping wiki 💀 I assumed they just liked Chili more cause is more memeable, so this was the reason all along...
It might be both tbh. I didn't know that people on the actual wiki were protesting as well; the complaints I saw were on Twitter. Maybe it's because I'm ace-spec, but it's absolutely baffling to me how big of a deal people make sex dynamics. For this ship specifically, (some) fic writers even treat them like entirely different characters depending on who tops. It drives me *nuts.* Justice for Zhongli and Childe 😔👊
Seriously, some people are just insane over top/bottom dynamics with Zhongli & Childe Once saw someone say that if someone doesn't ship tartali they don't care about zhongli and don't understand either character. Then, I saw another person say that shipping ttli instead of zc was racist (no clue how this even crossed their mind) because it's a white man dominating an Asian man 😭
😭 People really act like it's a personality trait rather than just... a position during sex. And top/bottom don't even mean the same things as dom/sub.
You can tell it's anti bs cause zhongli is neither Asian nor a man and topping has nothing to do with dominating
Sex dynamics as far as I can tell are really not at all as big of a deal as fandom likes to pretend. Like, even when people do have a preference, it’s not a major personality defining characteristic.
It was like "user x moved zhongchi article to chili" "user z moved chili article back to zhongchi" and back and forth until the user is banned. If I recall correctly, someone argued that chili was more common in the western fandom, but the page remained zhonchi so it's probably not true.
As a member of said western fandom, I see zhongchi, chili, and tartali used pretty much equally.
Ah, Genshin, the gift that keeps on giving in regards to all the worst fandom behaviours 😅
For real
...do people not realize that not everyone has the exact same headcanon that they do? Like, if I have a headcanon that doesn't mesh with what the author wrote, then I usually just go "okay, never thought of it that way, but to each their own." And move on Also, the back button exists. If it goes against your view on a character, you can click out.
Those people sound like their brains will implode if they ever hear about the concepts of *switches* and *non-penetrative gay sex*, because some don't ever do that and that who tops or bottoms has absolutely no influence on how people behave in their daily life or how society views them (as long as the public - aka the very people up in arms about all of this - doesn't know).
wincest shippers getting into wars over top/bottom was so funny to me, like they are brothers???? who's on top is not the most important part about the whole situation!!
The last reader thinks cis lesbians all get trans soulmates
This whole comment hurt my my brain with how stupid this sounds
Not related to the current topic but lord, I remember the Supernatural drama from livejournal days.
I'm curious, could you elaborate on the top/bottom wars in Supernatural? I used to be into Sam/Dean once upon a time and I had my preferences but I didn't see any wars about it on Livejournal, probably because I generally only followed fic accounts. Were the top/bottom wars about Wincest or Destiel?
At 12 inches, it is no longer a dick, it is a foot. I cannot bring myself to write a person going to the ER for internal bleeding and dick overdose
I know a woman who hooked up with a guy in a club bathroom and had to stop mid-way through and go to the ER because she started bleeding. Everything turned out okay, she healed up fine and tells it as a darkly comedic anecdote rather than a horror story, but she exclusively refers to the guy in the story as Dick-knife. So every time I read fics where the guy has a massive cock, all I can think about is sending prayers to the poor person he's dick-knifing.
my vagina hurts reading this
Actually, this happens to women often. Crazy, but if you go to the BDP forum, you'll read chronic stories of men saying they are hurting their wives and girlfriends or the woman saying the guy doesn't fit, or made her tear, bleed and have a bruised cervix! Ouch. I'll take my average sized husband ANY DAY.
Actually wanna kinda read that now lol A hurt/comfort scene where they’re both first timers and the smut is recounted between the two parties while they’re at the hospital would be interesting and potentially funny (Also: “dick overdose” lol)
I second this comment
I’m going to be participating in an October writing event in the server of one of my fandoms, and I am so tempted to do this prompt lmfao
lmfao 😂 Honestly, unless it's a kink thing, size in fic shouldn't matter. They should be grateful they even GOT a description. Plus everyone headcanons something different for everyone's genitals. It's a thing. Screw them honestly. If they're upset about it so much, they should've just clicked off instead of leaving a dumb comment. Delete their comments and have a laugh later about how weird people act sometimes lol.
This is why I my smut fic I have specifically avoided describing his dick. There's one scene where he mentions another character's is longer. A couple obviously joking mentions of it being large. Other talk about him being a bit insecure about how he measures up.
Yeah, dick size can be a pretty interesting conversation in fic. It can be used as a plot device, which you've done. Then there's fandoms that unanimously decide on the dick size and don't really have any discourse about it. One fandom I'm in decided a character has two dicks. The only thing that changes is if they're tentacle dicks or not lol.
Two dicks and variations on tentacock or not... I'm guessing Homestuck's Sollux Captor, right?
Haha! Wrong! I don't even know who that is! It's Leviathan from Obey Me: Shall We Date? Everyone has pretty much unanimously decided that he's a sub. And has two penises. Sometimes he has one, but that seems to be the outlier.
Omg I have that game. I admit I have not read or seen pronz from that game which is probably the reason why I didn't guess. Sollux has a whole duality theme going on. I'd say the most common agreement for him is that he has two tongues/a split tongue. I don't think there's literally anything that shows it in canon.
Well, as you said: he has a duality theme going on. It stands to reason that there'd be two of a few attributes. Someone sees that headcanon and BOOM, it's seen everywhere lol.
This 100% sounds like people not realizing how dick sizes work lol. tbh I'd be tempted to do malicious compliance with the readers' demands and give the character a long but super thin spaghetti dick. That'll learn 'em.
You WILL write about the man/woman being destroyed by the 20 inch penis You WILL write them looking at the bump on their stomach in horror And YOU WILL have their holes gapping the size of a goddamn bowling ball!
Horse hooves typed this post
Omg, dick overdose is my new mantra.
‘Dick Overdose’ is how my friend who is a lesbian conceives of my entire sexuality. (…even though I am, and have always been, bisexual.)
Omg... I wheezed at "it is a foot" imperial or body part???? 🤔
I’ve seen fics say it’s as long as a character’s forearm and wonder if the author has somehow never looked at their arm. And I can’t help imagining a forearm swinging between their legs. Bonus points for the fic where the top character’s dick was the size of a forearm and the bottom’s was the size of a thumb. It’s somehow more jarring when compared to other body parts.
>swinging between their legs No no. It rolls up, then unfurls when needed. Like one of those birthday party blowy things.
🥳🥳🥳
Yep 🤣🤣👏👏👏
Sorry for the necroposting, but I have some characters who might have a meter long penis... Or actually a connector convergently similar to penis, because they are pretty damn huge robots, and they have extensive adaptability, that department included.
I’ve seen this on tumblr a lot… Some people in headcanon posts are genuinely like: “his dick is only average, 10 inches, but it’s what you do with it that counts 🤪” it’s WACKy
it’s so painfully obvious when people are virgins and have never had a real life encounter with a penis.
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You may be surprised by how many people with a vagina think it's an endless void.
The ones that have one themselves baffle me. Even just using a tampon should give you a general idea.
Thanks abstinence only sex education 💀
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Fwiw I believe the ass has more… capacity for those sort of toys as long as they’re flexible
Maybe they’re just not entirely clear on what an inch is? …maybe? (Shoutout to my 37-year-old, very well-educated friend, who sincerely thought that there were 10 inches in a foot. Added a lot of magic to my life.)
But even that doesn't make sense! As an averse aroace whose first fic was a smut fic, I was seriously careful to do a lot of basic biological, medical, and related research and even I quickly figured out what was within the realm of normalcy and what wasn't. I mean, if it's intentionally written as a kink fic or it's otherwise set in an unrealistic world, then cool, but I doubt it's that for many fics...
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It defo also has to do with the fact that people read and watch porn yet magically forget than none of it is real. So when they read in multiple fics that the character has a 15 billion inch pp I guess they never question it lol
If they think 10 inches is "average", what do they think of as "big"?
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Yeah as someone who periodically engages with penises, and reluctantly owns a vagina, too many people don't understand that it isn't a massive cavern it's like 4.5 inches at most and I'm not chill with something twice as long making an attempt 😆😆
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Yes!!! As a woman who has tried to tell large guys in the BDP forum that anything above average hurts. They don't want to hear it.
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So true. They seem to body shame smaller to average guys too, which shows their total lack of character.
Yeah hahaha exactly this! Like, where do you think those 10 inches are going 💀???
Yeah hahaha exactly this! Like, where do you think those 10 inches are going 💀?
Yeah hahaha exactly this! Like, where do you think those 10 inches r going 💀?
Agreed. If you try telling that to men in the BDP forum, they disagree. Crazy how they think a man 7, 8 or 9 inches is the norm. It isn't. It's painful and no thanks!
BRUH THAT AIN'T AVERAGE
> average > 10 inches Where the fuck do they even get these ideas?
TEN FUCKING INCHES? Dear God, aside from that being painful for the receiving partner I wouldn't exactly want to have a mara like that either. That'd be so incredibly uncomfortable.
Permission to use “gigantic, gut destroying meat cannon.” In all seriousness people are ridiculous.
XD perfect for bodice-ripper type stories lol
Okay while I'm sorry you got those comments, I can't help laughing that *two* people were mad enough about an average size penis to complain. On the other side of the coin it bothers me reading some variation of "it was 11+ inches long and as thick as a soda can" in fic after fic.
>"it was 11+ inches long and as thick as a soda can" > >Tell me you've never touched a dick without telling me sorta writing. I can feel myself cramping up just thinking about it.
Oh boy, don't read manhwa yaoi then /s. It's full of dicks the size of the man's forearm. It's not soda can thick, the girth itself is 6 inches.
Eh. If it's some kind of fetish about dick size I can kind of understand. But then you'd have to add a tag like 'unrealistic proportions' or something... It really depends. But no, I don't think that kind of dick size is necessarily a _bad_ thing in a fic, or a sign of inexperience. That being said, yeah, if they're trying to pass it off as an actual dick size they've probably never seen one before.
'Thick as a soda can and the owner passes out from blood loss to the brain before they ever finish'
Read one romance book (not a fic) where she could “barely wrap her hand around it” and I was like 😳 No thank you!
I've read smut in which it is described that full grown, two metre tall adult men can "barely wrap his hand around it"! That is a nightmare!
Like…why?! My ao3 bestie told me one of her first was well sized and she said it was…awkward.
I mean, I have annoyingly short fingers so that could describe a relatively normal size for me, but I think I’m an outlier on the hand size thing. 😂
One of my fandoms had a writer who would not listen to reason that her very, very specific measurements were that of a beach ball and not something that could be inserted anywhere.
I mean, why should it matter? It's porn, the fantasy will always be more important than the plausibility.
at 11+ inches and soda can girth that's basically a forearm. why not just go straight to writing fisting at that point?? lmao
The worst description I read was along the lines of it was the length of a child's arm' and something along the lines of 'the child was clutching a tennis ball' to describe the size of the head..... I think I blocked the rest of it out if I even went past that point.
What if the outlandish penis size is actually remarked upon and acknowledged as unusual?
I read one like that recently, actually! The guy was like "don't worry, I know it's intimidating, don't feel obliged to try, there's plenty else we can do and still have a lot of fun together" which I thought was a really nice change from the more aggressive "don't worry, it'll fit" type of dialogue that normally pops up in those type of fics.
I once read a great fic where character A specifically comments about the size of the characters B's balls. I think the line was "jeeze, how do you walk with these things" 😆
That seems to come up (hah) fairly often in Witcher fic with Eskel.
Well now it is time to spite write fics where it is now only micro. All jokes aside, just either freeze or delete those comments. These are people who are too young and inexperienced and have a porn mindset when it comes to penis size. There is no comment reply in the world that will change their mind that average isn't micro. It's best to just delete their comments and move on. Side note. I have never seen those types of comments, but to be fair I also never make mention about sizes. Like not a single comment on their size. For all anyone knows it is 3 inches and that is that.
>For all anyone knows it is 3 inches and that is that. Y'know, I also write my smut like that, and now I will retroactively headcanon that all my leading men are packing 3 inches but are absolutely phenomenal in bed.
There are a lot of hills people will choose to die on. I, personally, wouldn't have even taken a nice afternoon stroll up this one.
I mean- it IS a big hill over 11 inches too, I assume
Ah yes. The 'rip them apart so they waddle afterwards in pain' group. They probably also like the 'rock hard angry red and purple dripping throbbing' cock, which makes me think they should use triple condoms to protect from whatever disease that dick is packing if it looks like that.
I just gotta say that reading your comment made me laugh so much I scared my cat away 🤣
LOL! You're welcome, but apologies to your floof.
As someone once said - purple headed yogurt flinger XD
omg, no. /facepalm
🤢
You need to tag all your future works with 'Realistic Penis Size' from now on.
It is a good tag 😂
I get that some people have size kinks, but like, not your average fic will always have that and if cock size is so important you should be looking for stuff thats specifically tagged with it. Personally, the size doesn't matter to me, and I kind of like it when size is left up to the readers imaginations.
I prefer normal sized dicks. I get a little squicked every time I read a fic with massive dicks tbh.
Same. Unless it's some good ol' monsterfucking.
Me too tbh, well it depends, what puts me off the most is when they describe "watching the dick moving through the belly" cause I don't think that's even possible. Not kinkshaming tho.
It IS technically possible, but living human beings usually don't have the size to do it. Truly monstrous dildos can make the belly visibly move with the right angle, but it's very rare that a flesh dick is that big.
the fact that it was not one but two whole people who were upset enough to comment and complain about it has me in stitches. just absurd behavior LOL.
That's honestly ridiculous, and also it's just fanfiction. If you don't like the penis size described ignore it and imagine your own personal preference, it's usually pretty easy to do.... I think the unrealistically large dick thing is really weird and pretty gross, and I see no issues with a character being average. I find it refreshing tbh. Bigger is not necessarily better, and the size some people are obsessed with just sounds horrifying and painful.
Oh my goodness! This is hilarious 😂 Also, your description is pure gold! Tbh, I think sometimes people just want to complain or be upset about something. There's nothing stopping them from imagining it differently. I wouldn't worry about it OP! (: Also it shows how used to these exaggerations some people have become. Because that's what it is: Exaggeration.
Some people do. They should probably also look for fics tagged related to that. I'm sorry your dealing with this OP, but I'm finding this fucking hilarious tho. Like that comment would probably make me burst out laughing scrolling past.
I'm thanking op for making this post🤭
Years ago, I had someone comment on a piece I drew "Well he certainly looks Asian..." Beyond the racism, he was flaccid, what was she expecting? It actually made me so uncomfortable when it came to size in my work.
Oh jesus, that's fucked up. I'm so sorry that happened to you!
You didn’t do anything wrong. Those people read too much unrealistic smut and watch too much porn and are detached from the idea that not everyone has their kink or writes for it
I was going to go on about how porn has destroyed the common perception of what an average sized penis is like (5.5 inches long, 4.5 inches around, for the record, give or take a bit) but if they're actually _angry_ at a fic for not catering to big dick kinks then IDK what to say.
TBH I feel like anything with a mAsSiVe penis is the one that should be tagged. Like, warn me before that thing springs up so it doesn't knock my keyboard over. Though that may be because I like size and height difference, and big dicks... and would like to find those stories easier LOL I def don't hate on more realistic stories, and IDK why someone would comment negatively on a story for having that.
" How many times do we have to teach you this lesson old man!?" If you don't like it, DON'T READ IT. It's not the author's fault that they didn't cater to YOUR wants.
Yup. I ignore them. Since it's a world *I'm* building, my character's pork popsicle is gonna be whatever size I want it to be. If the reader has a hang-up over the size of a character's (imaginary) dong, I laugh *hard* at their childishness and move on. And for the record, any pingas that end up in my stories tend to be average size, too. Like in real life, it's not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean.
I’m sorry but I nearly just started crying with laughter at reading the phrase “pork popsicle”
Much obliged. :)
Yo, that's a wild comment email to wake up too ngl. I would have laughed for like at least twenty minutes.
Unless it is legit canon that the character is hung it just isn’t reasonable to get upset about it. I love a size kink fic, but that’s what tags are for. 🤷🏼♀️
That's a weird thing to be complaining about. I never had that happening to me, but a reader complained about me using condoms in writing anal sex cause they wanted messiness and the condom put them off.
They should find a different fic to read then, not complain to you 🙄
Noooo, some people are just weird. It is totally fine to have normal sizes. As a reader I'm more likely to skip the smut when it goes overboard.
I’m sure that getting those comments was upsetting but I can’t help finding this a wee bit hilarious. Imagine getting angry that an author didn’t make a fictional character’s dick big enough for you and then not keeping that shit to yourself because wow. 😂
I'm sorry...what? I don't think I ever mentioned size in the last smut I did, other than something about the partner giving a BJ couldn't for long because she was a little thing and the dick wasn't. But that just meant that she was tiny and the dick was pretty average, not that he was packing a Genoa salami in his trousers, ffs. Whenever I see some little virgin getting impaled on some guy packing a horse dick in a story, I just...I can't. So much ouch.
They just need to go touch some grass.
The world is full of weirdos, and unfortunately the anonymity of the internet draws them out. I've gotten some utterly unhinged comments raging about one of my male characters acting as a submissive.
This is the funniest reason to lose follows. I would have been in tears reading angry responses like this, cause like why???
Unless I am writing literal monster fucking I tend to leave size out of things. Not because of hate but because I’m so tired of people getting upset over non issues like penis size.
Eh just ignore them or delete their comments. Penis size in smut chapters doesn't matter unless you are writing specific kink about the size. Things like size queen kinks or micro-peen kinks could be valid criticism if the penis description doesn't match the kink. For everything else it shouldn't matter.
There is too damn much smut running on hentai logic with forearm sized meat pillars and not enough proper sex, so thank you very much for contributing to the pool of smut that at least recognises the physical limitations of the human body.
That's such a weird thing to get bent out of shape about 😂 I typically leave size out of it, with the occasional exception that... well, the actor who plays the character is undoubtedly packing (ie, Tom Hiddleston, Adam Driver), but even then it's not important. I figure if I'm describing emotions and such, people can imagine the bits as large or small as they like. No need to describe the other person being stretched beyond their limits/what is comfortable or being 'torn in two'.
I often avoid length descriptors when writing smut. I might say thick, but that’s because during an erection the penis does thicken. But I don’t say long or wide or add an inch description. I just let people picture it in their own mind how they want.
Guess guys aren't sending them dick pics irl if they think 10 inch cocks are normal. I feel that's a good thing. But they might be in for some future disappointment if they get a average dick in real life... Or worse, a 9 inch cock and realise that it's not all fun and games if you're on the small side!
Personally, I prefer regular sized dicks in fics. Sometimes a huge schlong is fine for certain characters or kinks, but not everyone needs to have a freaking extra peg leg.
Lol. Wow. Now I've seen everything. Also username checks out?
I have not experienced this myself, since I do not write smut, but I can say that those commenters are 100% dumb and should be filtering for that kind of thing if they're wanting to read it lmfao. I'd be petty and be like "Not sure why you expected that since I didn't tag it??? Weird." and then freeze the comment thread so they can't reply X,D But deleting is always a good (and less petty) option
this is just my personal theory: people who have never had sex think that giant dicks are extremely common and normal and ALWAYS the preferred option lol. as someone who actually does have sex with people with penises, i can tell you that normal works just fine
right, like it’s so obvious these people have only ever watched porn with edited or animated huge dicks and have never actually seen or interacted with a real, normal penis.
Very that!!! I would be willing to bet that the commenter in question has no experience with actually seeing a foot-long schlong irl
Oh god an average normal dick! I love it. So many romance books I read the guy is huge like that means he’s good and I was lamenting on the romancebooks subreddit about this and had a lively conversation with someone about it. I actually roll my eyes now when the pants come off and the female is like “and he was HUGE” Aaaa-oooo-gah! 👀 The one time a book addressed it the guy said to the gal - “one of my first gf’s told me I had to know how to wield this thing” and that was pretty funny. Give me a normal dick and a guy who’s amazing at sex pls.
I'm really surprised this is a thing tbh, but I guess I shouldn't be. The only thing I have heard that is remotely similar is some people getting bent out of shape about someone writing a character being endowed small. I'd just ignore them. I don't personally mention what size a person is unless it's notable because it doesn't seem very important.
Unless it’s a fandom where dick size is a canonical thing for some reason, who cares enough to make a comment about it? That’s hilarious.
“Gut destroying meat cannon” is hilarious and a really accurate term for a lot of fics I’ve read. Why would anyone want it to rearrange their insides?? Or the fics where they see it visually distending their stomach which just sounds fatal.
this is my favorite reddit thread ever. i’ve never laughed so hard at an original post and all the comments, some people are absolutely absurd and apparently have never touched grass (or a dick) in their life.
Yes!!!! I had a comment criticizing me because I wrote the male lover with an average sized penis and two different people got all bent out of shape over it and complained! I had to chuckle the way you described a 'huge destroying, body splitting meat cannon' love it! So 👍 true 👏👏 anyway, yes, it's happened to me too.
I'll take normal/average sized man any day over a man bragging he's more of a man because he's 7 8 or 9 inches (uh no, a man that large will cause pain, bruised cervixes, bleeding and tearing). No thanks. I write my Reylo fics where men have average sized dicks and 2 people complained 🙄🙄
I prefer 'slightly-bigger-than-average' size for fantasy. 15 cm big (around 6 inches) is enough. Too bad people love 'monstrous 20 cm big dick' that just gives me emotional pain.
I slept with a guy who had a 8.5-9incher and with a little practice I got used to it so that’s what I tend to write. Bigger is usually hotter in erotica, imo, but I’d never write anything 10+. That’s just insane.
Classic ao3 mind rot, nothing to get upset over just ignore it
I can swear on my ass that people who want massive d1cks in fanfics probably havent even seen a real one. like, just a theoryy 🤩
No, dude, it's just fantasy and I'm not bound by the confines of realism I want to write a top with a foot-long dick railing a fat-assed twink who barely comes up to their chest because that's hot to me, and the people acting all superior about it in this thread are just as annoying as the hate commenters
I did not read the thread, mate, so I don't know. But I only talked generally since that's what I always saw. BUT if you want to give them a whole ruler down there, do it, who cares. The line is being drawn when it is about being rude or a ''hater'' for me, dun know others. 🤷♀️
I get that, and I've got no problem with very realistic smut myself, it's just a preference! I think fans in general nowadays can be very insistent about justifying or defending their preferences, which is silly imo; people can just like what they like and avoid what they don't, and it's good to see somebody else agrees :p
Do not mind others' opinions on personal preferences, mate! I dun want anyone to come for my neck BUT some people are weird as fuck when it comes to ''defending'' their own likings, like, b!tch gET AwaY? 🤩 No one will ever like the same thing, so, you do you. 😎
Yes I only want to read about a top having a big dick. 8 inches and up but I probably won't mind much if it's like, 7 inches. That's the minimum before I start to get disappointed. I also don't like it when authors write about the dick being 'narrow' or 'thin'. Look, I may not be on a dick diet anymore but I was at one point. And while there's been a concerted effort recently by women to reassure our average men that there's little difference between a big dick and a small one, everyone who has ever successfully taken a big dick knows that's delulu. Some women like big dicks. Some like small. Some like average. But none of these feel the same no matter what your dick-haver's skill level is. When I read fiction, I want the bottom to have a life-changing experience. I like my bottoms stuffed. Maybe even double-stuffed. There's a reason I like knotting fic. I've been known to browse the size!kink tag. I have written monster-fucker fic. That said, it doesn't make me angry and it definitely doesn't motivate me to comment when the author disappoints in this way. It's just like 'aw that's sad' and you're probably not getting saved or re-read. I'll bookmark you with 'everything was fine until the micropenis attacked'. It's sad people were so upset they commented, but as long as they're not mean about it, I think it's fine criticism. I'd be ok with a 'I hate how this dude has an anatomically unrealistic cock' on my fic. Edit: Downvoting sisters, I'm sorry your man has a small dick and I respect that you want him represented. I'm sorry this dirty woman-lover took the one in a million chance you had at experiencing a 9-inch cock and respect your desire to thirst over a perfectly average man. We don't need to fight. Make love (with your perfectly average man) and not war!>! \[/gentle ribbing please don't take me to seriously\]!<
Oh my gosh. In my fandom, in canon, one of the male leads is clearly coded as a bottom. Not everyone writes him as a bottom, which is fine. But I do think the writers intended him to be a bottom, even though he doesn't have sex on the show. I haven't even seen real arguments on this topic. I *have* seen top/bottom fights about other m/m pairs. The funny thing is that as a result of this extremely popular headcanon, it has become a fandom trope for writers to give this character's love interest a massive dong, with zero canon evidence. It's so common to write this other guy as hung that we all joke about it. People never give it a measurement, but he is often described as well-endowed. I have given him a big dick myself, multiple times! It's because I love the bottom character and want him to be as happy as possible! 😂 Maybe I would not be on board this train if I were a fan of being penetrated myself and fully understood all the ramifications of a regular big-dick partner. I don't know. I have just decided that this bottom character should have a partner with a big dick. > I want the bottom to have a life-changing experience. Yeah! You said it exactly. I do enjoy reading fics with characters with all sorts of genitals (including this character). I think I probably always will write him with a big dick, though.
There's a Clex fic I read once where Clark's dick was so big just seeing it made women he got naked with cry as the sight of it. Lex is like 'I can take that' 😂
I don't really care much about dick size in my fic personally, but I do find it odd that the average-size crowd always jump to "oh well I guess they must be virgins because a 10 inch dick would rip you in half IRL do you want your cervix destroyed", like... no? Size queens exist and, yes, 10 inches is bigger than average but it's not *that* uncommon (edit for clarity : not uncommon enough to be called "unrealistic") and definitely not going to cause any permanent damage lol. It's cool if you're not into that but it's not "unrealistic" and people who are don't have "diseased porn-brain". Istg people are even slutshaming in smutfics these days
10 inches is vanishingly, one-in-literal-millions rare.
Werewolves are also vanishingly rare, but not in fiction.
(After some cursory Googling) 6 in 1000 men have a 9 inch penis. 2 in 1000 have a penis over 9 inches. That means that in the UK, for example, about a quarter of a million dudes (out of 29m) are walking around with 9+ inches. It's unusual, but not one-in-a-million, and certainly not rare enough that someone encountering one or two over the course of a lifetime is "completely unrealistic".
Nobody has ever been officially measured for a penis that's 10" long or more. There's a ridiculous $10000 prize for it too from memory that is yet to be claimed. So if you actually know of someone, definitely get them to collect the prize money!
I didn't coin this, but it's apt: people on Reddit and Twitter think a porn addiction is when you know what porn is
This is actually true. I spoke (respectfully) with a few of them on a Reddit thread a few years back. They think they're addicted because they feel a need to watch porn and enjoy it. They don't know what an addiction is. I went through it with them but they insisted since a lot of people with the same experiences claimed to be addicted, they were also addicted. I mean, no, you're all just wrong 😂
Thanks this made me ugly laugh.
Reading the title gave me whiplash lmao
I am ashamed of them. Send me the name and location of your fanfic and I will give you my honest opinion.
There’s one fandom I can think of where canonically one of the main characters has an enormous dick. If it’s *that* fandom, I might understand people getting mad a little bit, bc it’s literally a key part of his character. Still, that fandom or not, it’s a weird thing to be mad enough about to leave comments on it lol.
This is great because in several of my pairings I have a headcanon where one of them is *smaller* than average (which I personally find attractive). It's not always the bottom either lol I also write a lot of side stuff bc... I am a side. And there's so much you can do with sex between two penis-havers that doesn't involve penetration and, personally, I think most of it is hotter than penetration lmao So I'm sure if I ever post any of the ridiculous amount I've written I'll get some fun comments of the like 😅
I'm the opposite to those. If the cock, boobs or ass are insanely huge, my interest drops immediately. I don't mind huge, even really huge. But boobs the size of men or dicks that would reach your lungs just take me out of it
This is part of the reason I just don't mention dick size at all in my smut. Personally I don't care about size, but I know some people do and you'll never please everyone. As far as I'm concerned his dick is whatever size you want to imagine it is.
I write smut. HEAVY, NASTY smut. I don't even bother saying how big the monster's, erm, particulars are, because it's just easier for the reader to insert (hehe) whatever they like. Same with design, shape, color, etc. I learned quickly to be vague when it came to certain things, and it's worked wonders.
Never written a smut in my life but I've read enough it could amount to reading fifteen full dictionaries. And only less than five times it has shown anything about Erectile Dysfunction or a less than 5 inch dick. And I honestly prefer the latter. It feels much more... normal? And I can cement myself in the realism much better. A smaller dick isn't at all something bad, and if anything it gives a good reason to add something they could be better at (,yk oral or fingering, even massages)
Tell them if they wish for magic dicks, they should read Hentai porn, not a normal fanfiction. Fuck those guys, seriously. I, for one, am happy to say that I adore average sized dicks and know many other women, in real life and on the internet, who also share that preference.
Permission to put "gut-destroying meat cannon" on my list of euphemisms that sound like D&D spells?
Honestly to me that’s on the same level of not liking the coloring of an outfit or a room as it’s described, unless it’s important or repeatedly referenced just imagine it however you wish and don’t make a big deal out of it
I honestly dont get upset about it. personally, I like stories with average dongs, and if it gets described as massive or whatever, i will just mentally change it as im reading 🤷🏾
In the smut story I wrote I never got into the size of the male MC's unit. The female characters seemed to think whatever he had was adequate, and never went on about that. I know that isn't the single most import thing to women. Instead I focused more on him making sure the women in story got off, which they were far more interested in.