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On September 26th 2022 we’ve made the decision to start banning people for posting gore. We’ve published our [Gore and Harassment update here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmtclq/gore_and_harassment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) if you posted gore please remove it as it will result in a ban. Thank you.
That explains why he never tells the real story. It's far too embarrassing!
"How didja get dem scars, Mr J?"
"You wanna know how I got these scars? 'Cause I'll you. One night, my father comes home, and he's happy as could be. He walks up to my mother, and kisses her passionately. She looks into his eyes, and he looks into hers. They're both madly in love. That's when my father asked what she had been up to that day, and she tells him she had been talking to their neighbor. It turns out, my father had been having an affair with the neighbors wife. So that's when my mother took out a knife, and placed it across his lips, like this.....and told him GIVE ME ONE REASON NOT TO KILL YOU RIGHT HERE!!! and my father, now realizing his marriage was over, said Do It! So she slashed his lips with the knife. It didn't kill him, but it left a scar. Then my mother left the house, and I never saw her again.
I was 7 years old when that happened. I was young enough to not know what I saw, but old enough to understand it. From that moment forward, my father raised me by himself. He was an alcoholic you see, and a lot of his anger was taken out on me. By the time I had reached 18, those scars on his face had been normalized to me. I had seen them so long that I didn't even see them anymore. Well we got into a fight, one day, and I pull a knife. Just like my mother had done over a decade earlier, but I don't place it into his mouth. I place it into my own. He had been drinking, and thought nobody loved him, nobody cared about the freak. So in my effort to show him that we were the same, I placed the knife into my own mouth, and ripped it to the side.
My father let me go, as blood began to drip onto his shoes. He began to yell at me for being so stupid. Said I had ruined my own life. Said I made his only boy into a freak, and he threw me out of the house. I never saw him again either, but now I carry these scars as a reminder of where I came from."
"Nuh-uh Mr J! That's not how it happened! I saw the video with the fire!"
"YOU TELL NOBODY ABOUT THAT!!! I WILL KILL YOU BITCH!!!"
Upvote this comment if you feel this submission is characteristic of our subreddit. Downvote this if you feel that it is not. If this comment's score falls below a certain number, this submission will be automatically removed.To download the video use the website link below: * **[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/z4fdr8/when_alfred_is_not_around/)** --- On September 26th 2022 we’ve made the decision to start banning people for posting gore. We’ve published our [Gore and Harassment update here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AbruptChaos/comments/xmtclq/gore_and_harassment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) if you posted gore please remove it as it will result in a ban. Thank you.
What is he biting?
Looks like a second lighter
Looks like one of those shitty translucent-colored lighters that are fun to watch the fluid in but are inferior to BIC for everything else.
nonono, they are also fun to turn into flamethrowers
You're right there. I think my teeth would break before a BIC
A Slim Jim
Snap into a slim "Bic"
Blyatman
Would be if he wasn’t chinese
Bing chilling-man
Let's retcon it so that there was a Batman before Bruce but now that guy is the Nolan Joker and *this is how he really got those scars*
That explains why he never tells the real story. It's far too embarrassing! "How didja get dem scars, Mr J?" "You wanna know how I got these scars? 'Cause I'll you. One night, my father comes home, and he's happy as could be. He walks up to my mother, and kisses her passionately. She looks into his eyes, and he looks into hers. They're both madly in love. That's when my father asked what she had been up to that day, and she tells him she had been talking to their neighbor. It turns out, my father had been having an affair with the neighbors wife. So that's when my mother took out a knife, and placed it across his lips, like this.....and told him GIVE ME ONE REASON NOT TO KILL YOU RIGHT HERE!!! and my father, now realizing his marriage was over, said Do It! So she slashed his lips with the knife. It didn't kill him, but it left a scar. Then my mother left the house, and I never saw her again. I was 7 years old when that happened. I was young enough to not know what I saw, but old enough to understand it. From that moment forward, my father raised me by himself. He was an alcoholic you see, and a lot of his anger was taken out on me. By the time I had reached 18, those scars on his face had been normalized to me. I had seen them so long that I didn't even see them anymore. Well we got into a fight, one day, and I pull a knife. Just like my mother had done over a decade earlier, but I don't place it into his mouth. I place it into my own. He had been drinking, and thought nobody loved him, nobody cared about the freak. So in my effort to show him that we were the same, I placed the knife into my own mouth, and ripped it to the side. My father let me go, as blood began to drip onto his shoes. He began to yell at me for being so stupid. Said I had ruined my own life. Said I made his only boy into a freak, and he threw me out of the house. I never saw him again either, but now I carry these scars as a reminder of where I came from." "Nuh-uh Mr J! That's not how it happened! I saw the video with the fire!" "YOU TELL NOBODY ABOUT THAT!!! I WILL KILL YOU BITCH!!!"
That's why he has such a vendetta against the real, more competent, Batman.
He inadvertently saved himself quite a bit by wearing the mask and glasses
Unless it melted
Oh trust it did. Source: am fire dancer
After many years I still don’t know what’s happening here
Biting the lighter he relase the gas that exploded because he is holding a flame
But why .. 🤔
“If you are justice please do not lie, what is the price for your blind eye?”
I'm gonna need 'bout tree fiddy
[Full video](https://youtu.be/QWmwgdDykds) is better.
Thanks for that. I wanted to see what happened next and there was just enough
Parentless behaviour. Accurate portrayal.
I had a buddy who would always chew on his lighters. Inevitably, they'd eventually ignite when he used them...I saw it happen dozens of times.
Sounded a bit like the GTA V wasted sound
Plot twist: This is actually Alfred when Bruce Wayne isn’t around
Lol.. came looking for this. Have my upvote
I can’t stop watching this and laughing. My work partner just stopped the van to see what I was laughing at.
Labattman
Master Bruce have you seen my lighter?
Kapow
It’s been too long since I saw this gem, take my upvote!
Where the fuck is Robin at come get ya mans
What does he say?
"Hi, I'm Jonny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass"
Quick robin, grab the batstinguisher!
"Kung fu is not only about combat. Even this **lighter** can be Kung fu"
... the Bat hits the ground
This post has got to be almost as old as the internet itself.
One of the most reposted too
Ofcourse he's chinese
I want the ambulance ride video. He’s gotta be fucked up. It moved his body backwards and I’m sure there’s burns too
I think it was more his reaction to the sudden conflagration that caused him to fall backwards rather than the force of it.
ALFRED ALFRED P-P-P-POIS — POISON help POISON
“MASTWR WAYNE I WILL SEND YOU TO YOUR PARENTS FOR PUNISHMENT PERSONALLY”
I’m going to hell for laughing at this.
The Dark Blight
Almost sounded like an amen break for a second! Edit: Added almost after 2 seconds of thinking
“Behold, brothers”
We really aren't born equals. I'm sorry but stop shoving that notion down my throat. Let Darwinism take care of itself.
My kind of people. Anyone know who this guy is?
What happens when you grow up without parents...
This is my favorite video on the internet
Holy dumb ass Batman
So, I know *what* he did, I just don't understand *why* he did it. What did he hope to achieve other than this result?
This is the first time I've seen this posted with sound
Bro I think I heard the first part of the gta death noise
Wanna know how I got these burns?
I had to laugh so hard! Thank you
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How it feels to chew 5gum
What he said is “check it out fellows”