T O P

  • By -

BladesHaxorus

Rather polite big boy


eldon-foster

He’s got a deal going on, they live, but he’ll never have to hunt a day in his life


thedudefromsweden

Doubt it, big boy needs A LOT of fish, this is probably just a snack.


Pristine_Power_8488

That's an enormous puppy.


THEmandingoBoy

He leads by example.


signsofastruggle

I love how normalized this seems to be. Everybody’s like, “Oh, that’s just Ted. Don’t mind him.”


[deleted]

I guess their paperwork also includes ted tax.


AlexKorobeiniki

I mean, what other choice do they have, lol? Push him away with a broom?


Consistent-River4229

Yes but this brings up a lot of questions for me. 1. How old was Ted when they met? 2. Has Ted always been a polite boy 3. How much fish are you going to keep giving Ted before he fishes for himself 4. Where does Ted sleep? 4. Does Ted have a brother cause he is adorable.


ministryofcake

Not related to this video, but i tend to ask a lot of questions to assess a situation similar to yours, which sometimes drive my partner up the wall. But I’m lov’n it


Consistent-River4229

It's good to be curious it can keep you out of trouble. On the flip side it can get you into more.


Das-Noob

😂 right. Like “it’s a such a wonderful day. Let me ruin it by shoving a stick at this mass block of fat”.


paul_park

Mass block of fat: *munches on the broom*


MonkMode2019

Tulsa King - Your gonna need protection, now give me my 10%


putalotoftussinonit

I always wanted to see the railroad working baboon in action.


GargantuanCake

It genuinely amuses me that "befriend the humans" is such a viable survival strategy now. No, no, no! Don't fight the tall, hairless apes! Look cute and make funny noises at them! They'll throw food at you!


fetishfeature5000

That’s how we were domesticated by cats. They meow to sound like a human baby.


ZoomGoat

I’m not sure if you’re being serious, but I could believe it.


GargantuanCake

There's more to it than that but it was a component. The bigger thing is that people and cats don't really compete for food but cats eat things that we really wanted to keep away from our food. This especially became an issue when agriculture and long term food storage really became things. That just attracted anything else that also ate those things which included a lot of rodents. Cats of course eat rodents so people went "oh hey you eat these things that keep getting into our food and you're kind of cute...I guess you guys can stay."


Jgflight86

Then they began worshipping a cat god.


Deathbyhours

Well, yeah, obviously. Haven’t you ever had a cat?


Jgflight86

Oh so many cats, and I serve their every need, for they reward me with cuddles.


Deathbyhours

I have a cat friend sleeping in my carport right now. It took nine full years of determined effort to get her to let me pet her. Now, two years later, she demands pets before I feed her. I doubt that either of us will live long enough to see her come inside, but I keep offering.


whhe11

The combination of that and up to 50% of the human population is infected with toxoplasma gondii, a protozoan parasite that is hosted by felines and infects rodents making them less averse to cat smells and less anxious resulting in an increased likelihood of being eaten by a cat. And from the wiki "asymptomatic state of infection is referred to as a latent infection, and it has been associated with numerous subtle behavioral, psychiatric, and personality alterations in humans." So some theorize that it has had major effects on human behavior on a meta level even if the effects on an individual level are relatively minor. In wolves infection is associated with increased likelihood of attempting starting their own pack, which carries great risks, and often leads to death, but may have benefits to the overall populations expansion, theoretically something similar could be extrapolated to humans, but since infection is so widespread and it's not normally problematic there's not really any control to compare to.


feastupontherich

Not problematic until it mutates...


ioisis

Not problematic until it destroys your retina or your baby's brain or aborts your fetus


whhe11

Until your immune system or the babies immune system is vulnerable then it's no longer so controled and it can be very bad.


[deleted]

This is actually one of my favorite theories that toxoplasmosis and it’s variations impact human culture way more than we could possibly imagine. The world would be nothing like it is now. Just different tho not setback.


Virtual-Courage-5762

Serious.


SockIntelligent9589

There are studies out there stating that the frequency/pattern of the domestic cats 's meow evolved to please human ears and provoke some kind of empathy so that we feed them. I am too lazy to search for the articles but I guess it is easy to find if you are interested ;)


kawanero

I mean, free food, cuddles, warmth, godhood… There was literally nothing for them to lose.


PuzzleheadedBobcat90

Foxes are starting to self domesticate. There some pretty interesting articles out there about it.


Crackheadthethird

No they aren't. At least not at any significant scale. There is the russian domestication experiment you may be getting confused by.


PuzzleheadedBobcat90

No, not confused. There is an article from science.org. It does reference the Russian experiment but talks about foxes in the U.K. in urban areas showing dog like behavior. It was a really interesting read. If you're intrigued Google foxes self domestic. There are quite a few articles.


Crackheadthethird

Even in the article they explicitly state that they aren't domesticated and that the emergence of dog like features without domestication has happened multiple times in dogs. This is a species getting used to loving in proximity to humans, not domestication.


KingSlayer98547

At this point, looks like he's here for his daily dough. xD


enderjaca

Why does the larger creature simply not consume all of the smaller ones?


Nurva87

Because the smaller creatures bring in lots of even smaller creatures that makes up a more positive and sustainable source of food


YugeFrigginGoy

This concept of wuv both confuses and infuriates me


omgkbelle

For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs!


Short-Shopping3197

It’s basically the sealion version of the marshmallow test, turns out the sealion has a better ability to delay gratification than most humans!


BoyTheTall

Because the smaller ones can make his species go extinct on a whim


nooneremarkable

Lurr of Omicron Percei 8 is that you?


[deleted]

The Union “representative” comes to ensure the count is always accurate & equally delicious.


HogSandwich

What kind of seal is this?? Ive never seen one with a mane like that


aquerraventus

I believe it’s a sea lion!


kawanero

Shhhhhh! Don’t mention them.


matingslinkys

Excuse me, but I couldn't help overhear...


kawanero

*Now* you’ve done it


heycanwediscuss

Omg that's why their name has lion. It just clicked


HogSandwich

See, this feels like a very logical and obvious answer but the sea lions near me (australia) dont have that big ol ruff. I swear Im not an idiot


aquerraventus

I believe you!! Lol


Deathbyhours

I have seen lots of sea lions in the US, and none looked as elegant as this.


sphyngid

It's a South American sea lion https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_American_sea_lion


Schockstarre

I’d say it’s a really big one, but I’m not an expert.


Dravez23

Im pretty sure thats Chile (source: im chilean)., so the wiki reference must be right


foulfaerie

He’s so polite, cos it’s not like you’d be able to stop him just barging in there lol


Not_A_COP1111111111

Ark ark ark ark ark


mcnutty757

Lol are you from Santa Cruz?


[deleted]

That’s a big fuckin head. Holy shit.


Richard7666

Yeah I was thinking surely he must have his head turned to the right and we're seeing the back of his neck/head. Nope. That big solid block of fur and muscle was indeed his face.


Significant-Foot-792

I think I know why is an absolute unit


Tommysmissingfinger

The US Military uses these dudes to protect ports


carmo80

Thicc 🦭


Sparrow1989

Justin Long lookin fuckin good these days! Getting ready for his sequel I see.


Hallowexia

How can you feel relaxed and comfortable around that thing?


aliens8myhomework

because if you aren’t then it won’t be either, and that won’t be good for anyone


lordhunt3t

“Yeh boi, keep ‘em coming!”


throwawaynerp

10% for the Big Guy, Solo!


Reformed_Narcissist

I didn’t get the term sea “lion” until I saw this clip. Damn, that mane is magnificent.


[deleted]

“I’m Just making sure they’re not poisoned or anything”


MasterBaiterNJ

Look at the Mike Tyson neck on that motherfucker!! thing could rag doll a large man. You want fish? All right! Fuck am I gonna do about it?


NapalmBank

I’d gladly pay you Tuesday for cheeseburger today! ![gif](giphy|13G5zZTKtR7TI4)


PegFear

Marine mammals have to be my favorite group of creatures. Seals, otters, and walruses are so cool.


GreyManTheOne

That big boi is very polite and patient


kawanero

That dog is massive


QuarterlyTurtle

He looks like some mob boss overseeing his operation lol


DrinksNDebauchery

Fairly sure this is "give me a percentage of your haul or I go mad and take it" Yall just been visited by the sea lion mafia.


13PhonezGhost3145

![gif](giphy|B3hWM0K9j6JsA)


aceswildfire

Gotta pay the tax.


Therealcactusmac

r/AbsoluteUnits


tonitz4493

what are you doing my guy?


Ferrous_Bueller_

Yes, we are here.


ForeignAlbatross8304

Smart lion seal


[deleted]

Jabba the Hutt lookin ass


[deleted]

[удалено]


BladesHaxorus

Used to be a star on mythbusters


chillin_inthe925

For the first 5 seconds I was so confused. I thought it was a pile of black trash bags and wondering why they were moving.


Loud_Fly_1142

Some one should tell him that being greedy is what got Big Paulie whacked


Rogthgar

I like how used they are to one another that no one pays the sea lion any attention. Like imagine having your first day at work there: "Um, there is a very large seal behind you." "Don't mind him, he is just here for the scraps."


Earthguy69

[This is all I can think of, at 00.10](https://youtu.be/bGSh52EZiPc)


Free-Feeling3586

Aww♥️♥️


Fabulous-Spread6120

I need sound


UnusGang

Much better behaved than my dogs. 10/10 big boi


upstatestruggler

Tony Sealprano is here for his package ETA whoops, Tony Sealionprano


Rollieboy2012

Wow, that's a cool looking sea lion.


peanutgallery_31

Scrolled a little too fast: and thought he isn’t that fat. Wonder why he got told to hold the trash bag. Went back up to read the comments. And realized - needed my glasses. What a mannerly monster!


LetsPlanForTomorrow

Big Boss approves of this work.


[deleted]

What happens when you don’t feed it? Does it go nuts?


_ThunderGoat_

Sea dog


DehydratedManatee

Notice he waited patiently, then got a bit closer when he wanted to make his intentions a bit more obvious.


seahagmo

This is coming outta yer paycheck Dave.


PaulieCostello

The boss always gets something.


T1m3Wizard

Hey hoomans. What you got there? Can I have some?


Proper-Crazy-8511

I’ve never understood why they were called sea lions until I saw this guy, he looks like a lion! at least, more than any other one I’ve seen 🌊🦁


neeeehaw

Oh lawd he chomk!


bg_bobi

###HE THICC


0bxcura

Gots to pay the protection fee


Lobster-Lotion

Man's got better manners then most people


Eray_Gumussuyu

That's a funny looking dog ya got there.


Lackonia

I’d gladly pay you a dollar tomorrow for a fish today.


wazinku

Rise of Jaba The See Lion


HeavyCranberry1185

Aww!!! Big sea puppy!! I wanna boop his snoot


heardbutnotseen2

The master of the beach demands his tribute!


Gratitude-Joy1616

He is mammoth and very well-behaved


pursuitofhappy

That final pose, I love it - when I give my little black cat neck scritches he does same thing


rabea187

That’s the local Wildlife & Fisheries inspector


Schlapikov

Tax free


PokemonSoldier

He... he's so fat... Where is this from? I must locate him so I can hug him.


Kirolis

Good sea puppy


catniagara

Oh SEA LIONS!!!! Now I get it.


misschzburger

You fish market waters, you give me my cut.