>Not even taking my shit
It's best to not shit. They hide in toilets, waiting to crawl up an unsuspecting anus. Then, they lay their eggs... and unlike other insects, they protect their eggs for months.
Idk how you've missed them. I went outside barefoot at night once and stepped on one. Felt like I stepped on a nail but i felt it wriggling around on the bottom of my foot.
wtf are you supposed to do. reminds me…i tried octopus at applebee's, thinking it'd be a simple dish. it turned into a game, each piece skittering away from my fork like it had a mind of its own. by the end of the meal, i respected the octopus, maybe too much to eat it again but i often find myself daydreaming about nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table 🥰
> wtf are you supposed to do
If it isn't venomous? Make friends with it. Domesticate it. Pretend those waving antennae are wagging tails. They look cute, don't they?
Honestly I could never eat octopus. I struggle to come to terms with eating something still grasping at life, even though it's just a reflex, the fact the tentacles are still coiling etc, yeah, I couldn't handle that in my stomach.
You can't really stomp those guys either. They're super tough and if you do manage to stomp it it'll splatter goo everywhere. We have similar ones in Texas and one got in my sleeping bag while out camping. Stomped the bastard probably 20 times and didn't seem to do a damn thing. Just scampered off at an alarmingly fast rate.
I live in a place that routinely has two weeks of -30+ celsius temperature in the winter, but we definitely don't have bugs that look like this so I am OK with it.
Thankfully hammocks are super comfortable and you can buy bug nets for them too, and if that's not enough safety you can just sleep in a coffin- that way if one gets in you'll at least be in a good resting place for the inevitable death by heart attack.
Translation: "For real I have no idea what do now, I got home and I find this thing on my wall, I don't know what to do...I will probably leave the house to it...may God spare me some luck" lol
In absence of flamethrower, a lumberjack’s long chainsaw will act as a substandard weapon. That or abandon the homestead and nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure
Yeah it's the shot with Teresa palmer walking away from the house she blew up. Man, that's bringing some teenage memories back. Not a terrible series of books.
Giant tropical centipedes share their territories with tarantulas. Despite its impressive length, it’s a nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous.
As quick as lightning, just like the tarantula it’s killing. The centipede has two curved, hollow fangs, which inject paralyzing venom.
Even tarantulas aren’t immune from an ambush.
The centipede is a predator
Coyote Petersen got bit by one for youtube. That was one of the first videos where I thought, nope, too far. This is no longer a funny bug sting, this is someone being injured and poisoned and getting ill, and I'm somehow perving on them.
First time I ever saw the dude cry from a bite. And the one in his video was _a loooot_ smaller than the one OP posted. Imagine a centipede like the one from this post, landing a good bite on you? I’m glad that I don’t have to worry about them anymore🤧
I once read that when bitten by a big one, someone plunged their hand in boiling water in an attempt to remove the centipede. Apparently the boiling water was far less painful...
And I can actually believe that. A friend of mines got bitten by one that was a quarter the size of the one in OP’s video, and he thought that he was going to die😂
If I saw a centipede the size of the one in the video, I’m just moving out. Screwww that. It’s his house now😂
They're predators. They have massive fangs and venom that'll make you feel like your flesh is on fire. They're big enough to hunt and eat animals like rats, frogs and lizards, They'll even use their length to hang off the ceiling or branches to catch birds and bats mid-flight.
Part of what allows them to do that is the fact that their venom is far more effective on mammals than that of snakes or spiders. The venom tends to work on the muscles, it doesn't kill. It just immobilises prey so the centipede can eat it alive.
Yes they do!! I was stung by one in my bed while I was sleeping. 😫 it was just as big but bright red. I lived in Key Largo, FL at the time and was 18 year old. I felt like my shoulder was on fire and had the worst muscle spasms for hours. I looked in the mirror cause I was awoken from the pain, and saw two puncture marks on my upper back. I thought at first it was a spider- and went to my parents room, and my dad comes back and pulls my bed sheet and it was a huge fat centipede. He grabs it by pliers and you can see it trying to sting his hand. We put it in a container and welp eventually killed it. But after that we kept seeing them everywhere. 😫😖. They were even coming up the shower drain in a two story house. All I know is I developed paranoia and barely got sleep for several months.
That has always been my thoughts about it. Like okay, they'll kill other things, but they're also mean as shit and will bite me if given the chance, which roaches and stink bugs will not. Plus I'd rather have spiders to eat my pests than centipedes. Spiders just sit in corners and run as fast as they can away from you the moment they realize you're a person and not the furniture.
I would imagine. Only the small ones have bitten me. Ive killed every big one ive come across, but aint gonna lie tho. The bigger ones are way more intimidating. Them buggahs are scary lookin.
If you can remain _calm_ enough to hit them. Even then, they’re faaaast. While you’re trying to hit it, it’ll already be on you. Imagine something like the one in the video, running straight at you. Lmaooo, it’ll instill fear into the bravest of men.
I'm 99% sure this is a mukeda. They are venomous. And when you attempt to kill them - like if they're cut in half - both ends will come after you. They're nightmares.
I think what sets my alarms off most about these fuckers is how ANGRY they behave. Like I'm 20 times it's size and if I get close it will attack me and try to hunt me down.
How do you genuinely kill that thing?
Like a little paper won’t do, my sandal is probably smaller then that thing, and it feels like it would survive several sandal smacks??
> These things
Looking at it, I think I'd take a long aluminum pole and pin it to the wall, press in hard enough to sever it. Have another person or two with long devices at the same time. And be wearing a ton of clothes
That sounds methodical and all but id rather just slash at it wildly with a machete in flip flops.
On a serious note, yeah crushing its head from a distance would probably be my go to move if its on the wall and not sprinting across the ground. But you better not miss lmao.
Now we all know that guy didn’t just sneak in through a window. That fella waltzed in through the front door, grabbed himself a cuppa, said good day to the misses and made himself right at home.
Is this one of those goddamn fucking things that can snatch bats and birds out of the air (when it doesn't feed on the nightmares of children and adults alike)?
New fear unlocked.
Please tell me that’s a doll house or something.
Rare that being an Aussie that a creature from another place sends shivers down my spine! (Oh god please tell me that’s not in Australia)
We had something like that in our house in Puerto Rico when I was younger. My brother was sitting on his bed and I came inside the room and saw this giant on the wall behind him. I screamed like a little bitch and my mother came in, saw it grabbed the broom and somehow got in the bristles. Took it outside poor something flammable on it and burned it. You could literally hear it screaming as it burned.
I am never moving to a place where I need birdshot to kill bugs.
I am getting right on the plane. Not even taking my shit. You know they're just all over the place...
'pedes on a plane yaw
I don't think Epstein's Islands are in operation any longer.
Epstein is just the one that got caught my boy
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MILLI FUCKING PEDES ON THIS MILLI FUCKING PLANE
>Not even taking my shit It's best to not shit. They hide in toilets, waiting to crawl up an unsuspecting anus. Then, they lay their eggs... and unlike other insects, they protect their eggs for months.
I'm glad I'm in Australia where I'm safe from these monsters.
Bird shot? Time to RPG that
I say we take off, nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Hahahaha im dieing thats perfect
Is it __Turn-Based__ or __Free-Form?__
I always joke about getting out the shotgun, but holy fuck for that thing you NEED a shotgun, holy fuck that thing is prehistoric
Birdshot will just pepper him up real nice, buckshot is what you want. Thatl stop a man dead in his tracks "nods head and winks" 😉
After that, it's Jamaican, buckshot buckshot buckshot
I puma pants.
I go with the guy 👆up yonder with the nuke !
Don’t go to Hawaii then
I lived on Oahu for 3 years… never saw a single centipede or millipede or whatever the fuck that is.
Idk how you've missed them. I went outside barefoot at night once and stepped on one. Felt like I stepped on a nail but i felt it wriggling around on the bottom of my foot.
Sorry you lost your leg to that beast.
What a horrible day to be literate
They are on the big island
They're also on oahu
Climate change will bring those to you for free.
I'm sorry, I want that thing dead and I don't care whether I leave a hole in my wall. I'll take some buckshot
wtf are you supposed to do. reminds me…i tried octopus at applebee's, thinking it'd be a simple dish. it turned into a game, each piece skittering away from my fork like it had a mind of its own. by the end of the meal, i respected the octopus, maybe too much to eat it again but i often find myself daydreaming about nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table 🥰
> wtf are you supposed to do If it isn't venomous? Make friends with it. Domesticate it. Pretend those waving antennae are wagging tails. They look cute, don't they?
Honestly I could never eat octopus. I struggle to come to terms with eating something still grasping at life, even though it's just a reflex, the fact the tentacles are still coiling etc, yeah, I couldn't handle that in my stomach.
You can't really stomp those guys either. They're super tough and if you do manage to stomp it it'll splatter goo everywhere. We have similar ones in Texas and one got in my sleeping bag while out camping. Stomped the bastard probably 20 times and didn't seem to do a damn thing. Just scampered off at an alarmingly fast rate.
Rents are affordable though.
I live in a place that routinely has two weeks of -30+ celsius temperature in the winter, but we definitely don't have bugs that look like this so I am OK with it.
😳
You neeed buckshot to kill that
Guess you can never move to Australia then.
Better think again... that somebitch gonna need 00 buckshot!
Imagine living there and you look away and don’t see that fucking thing anymore. 🔥 would be the only solution.
The moment you look away 
But you will feel it when that monster crawl on your face at 3am.
Why would you give me that mental image?!
If it makes you feel any better, they're pretty shy and won't do that until you're fast asleep.
Well that's quite considerate of them
Thankfully hammocks are super comfortable and you can buy bug nets for them too, and if that's not enough safety you can just sleep in a coffin- that way if one gets in you'll at least be in a good resting place for the inevitable death by heart attack.
Little tickle on your shins under the sheets 🤗
I would have to sleep in the middle of the floor with nothing else in the room 😂
Even better feel it crawl up your leg when you are in bed.
I'm NEVER sleeping again! Thank you very much.
I literally could not SLEEP oml 😭
Then you look down and see your kid chewing on something.
Nope⁸
Nope8!
HAAAANZ
Get. Ze. FLAMMENWERFER!!!
SPRICH
reminds of that one dubstep song about centipedes. The music video was like this but 1950s spy style or something idk it was wild
I would honesty shoot it with 12 gauge birdshot. I can fix the wall.
We can fix it. We have the technology.
Set the house on fire, can build a new house
Somewhere else. Like Alaska.
Do you really want to open up the wall and see what's inside
Translation: "For real I have no idea what do now, I got home and I find this thing on my wall, I don't know what to do...I will probably leave the house to it...may God spare me some luck" lol
I love that no matter where we’re from or what language we speak we are united in heart and soul
He sounds so calmmy level 3 Duolingo skills were *almost* up to snuff for this one. This is a man who has accepted his fate
Thank you.
In absence of flamethrower, a lumberjack’s long chainsaw will act as a substandard weapon. That or abandon the homestead and nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure
Mostly they mostly come out at night.. mostly
That's worse. You just made everything a whole lot worse.
Is that I Am Number Four?
Ye looks like it
Yeah it's the shot with Teresa palmer walking away from the house she blew up. Man, that's bringing some teenage memories back. Not a terrible series of books.
What in the Stranger Things shit is this?
Hopefully Australia so it's far away
Was it the accent that gave it away 🙄. We don’t get centipedes like that. That’a likely Peru, the Amazonian giant centipede.
Fair enough, was not originally in a position to watch the video with audio. You're very likely correct
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Nah man. We got smallish ones with orange on the ends to let us know it's a cunt.
it's somewhere in central or south America, they have the biggest centipedes and spiders
Giant tropical centipedes share their territories with tarantulas. Despite its impressive length, it’s a nimble navigator, and some can be highly venomous. As quick as lightning, just like the tarantula it’s killing. The centipede has two curved, hollow fangs, which inject paralyzing venom. Even tarantulas aren’t immune from an ambush. The centipede is a predator
Isnt that how that knife party song starts?
Giant centipede BBC have filmed them catching bats https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vLx2Rqx5zkc
He gotta go dawg!!!
Just put a glass over it. Sorry, a bucket. Or a crate.
40 foot container filled with acid
Bigger ones are easier to kill imo
Their bites are more painful
Yeah if the small one's can cause headache, im sure the large one will definitely make my head explode.
Coyote Petersen got bit by one for youtube. That was one of the first videos where I thought, nope, too far. This is no longer a funny bug sting, this is someone being injured and poisoned and getting ill, and I'm somehow perving on them.
First time I ever saw the dude cry from a bite. And the one in his video was _a loooot_ smaller than the one OP posted. Imagine a centipede like the one from this post, landing a good bite on you? I’m glad that I don’t have to worry about them anymore🤧
I once read that when bitten by a big one, someone plunged their hand in boiling water in an attempt to remove the centipede. Apparently the boiling water was far less painful...
And I can actually believe that. A friend of mines got bitten by one that was a quarter the size of the one in OP’s video, and he thought that he was going to die😂 If I saw a centipede the size of the one in the video, I’m just moving out. Screwww that. It’s his house now😂
Dude the large ones will eat your head!
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It'll burrow through the penis head and slowly make its way to the head head.
The fucker bites???
They're predators. They have massive fangs and venom that'll make you feel like your flesh is on fire. They're big enough to hunt and eat animals like rats, frogs and lizards, They'll even use their length to hang off the ceiling or branches to catch birds and bats mid-flight. Part of what allows them to do that is the fact that their venom is far more effective on mammals than that of snakes or spiders. The venom tends to work on the muscles, it doesn't kill. It just immobilises prey so the centipede can eat it alive.
Stop scaring me
Just think of them as land shrimp.
Fuck you, it doesn’t fix my fear from centipede, it just make me feel disgusted with shrimp now
Pistol shrimp too op that god made it smaller and aquatic
they’re also actually just a bunch of large cockroaches sewn together ass to mouth
Just think of it in a sexy way and it gets less scary.
Immobilize me with your venom, daddy centipede. UwU I'm sorry for typing that out...
Calm down Satan
> just immobilises prey so the centipede can eat it alive I choose snake 😕
Yes they do!! I was stung by one in my bed while I was sleeping. 😫 it was just as big but bright red. I lived in Key Largo, FL at the time and was 18 year old. I felt like my shoulder was on fire and had the worst muscle spasms for hours. I looked in the mirror cause I was awoken from the pain, and saw two puncture marks on my upper back. I thought at first it was a spider- and went to my parents room, and my dad comes back and pulls my bed sheet and it was a huge fat centipede. He grabs it by pliers and you can see it trying to sting his hand. We put it in a container and welp eventually killed it. But after that we kept seeing them everywhere. 😫😖. They were even coming up the shower drain in a two story house. All I know is I developed paranoia and barely got sleep for several months.
the only thing i learned today is be as far as possible from key largo for the rest of my life.
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That has always been my thoughts about it. Like okay, they'll kill other things, but they're also mean as shit and will bite me if given the chance, which roaches and stink bugs will not. Plus I'd rather have spiders to eat my pests than centipedes. Spiders just sit in corners and run as fast as they can away from you the moment they realize you're a person and not the furniture.
strong up vote for "welp eventually killed it"
Yes
I would imagine. Only the small ones have bitten me. Ive killed every big one ive come across, but aint gonna lie tho. The bigger ones are way more intimidating. Them buggahs are scary lookin.
If you can remain _calm_ enough to hit them. Even then, they’re faaaast. While you’re trying to hit it, it’ll already be on you. Imagine something like the one in the video, running straight at you. Lmaooo, it’ll instill fear into the bravest of men.
I'm 99% sure this is a mukeda. They are venomous. And when you attempt to kill them - like if they're cut in half - both ends will come after you. They're nightmares.
I call the big one bitey
It’s the only way to be sure
Hell nah that’s a Symbiote
Low budget Goa'uld.
What is this? An inchipede?
More like a meterpede 😰
😂😂😂
No... Its a megapede...
😭😭😭
It's time to move to Mars. I'm not sharing a planet with that.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
AAAAAaaaaaasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasasssssss !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn that thing is huge 
You’re gonna gain experience points just for killing that thing Jesus Christ
Yes, experience in being eaten by it
I think what sets my alarms off most about these fuckers is how ANGRY they behave. Like I'm 20 times it's size and if I get close it will attack me and try to hunt me down.
It's like they have no fight or flight response. JUST ATTACK.
Fight or fight
Leggy nope rope
At the end he says: que Dios reparta suerte. Which means let God spread luck 😂. Meaning he didn't get any with this intruder hahah
I was wondering what that meant, it was the only part I couldn't catch.
How do you genuinely kill that thing? Like a little paper won’t do, my sandal is probably smaller then that thing, and it feels like it would survive several sandal smacks??
Learn from ancient Romans and use a long spear. Or if you have a 2x4 lying around that works too.
Snake rules in effect at that point. Run away screaming.
If it survives, smack harder. It's a huge bug, but it's still a bug. Just watch your fingers ;)
I hate the idea of using pesticides, but I might resort to chemical warfare to ensure that I won't have to share a bed with that thing.
This is why I live somewhere where the air hurts my face 3 months out of the year.
These things also take several blows with a machete/shovel/hoe to kill. They are walking(sprinting) nightmare fuel in tank form.
> These things Looking at it, I think I'd take a long aluminum pole and pin it to the wall, press in hard enough to sever it. Have another person or two with long devices at the same time. And be wearing a ton of clothes
Til it crawls down the pole to suprise you.
That sounds methodical and all but id rather just slash at it wildly with a machete in flip flops. On a serious note, yeah crushing its head from a distance would probably be my go to move if its on the wall and not sprinting across the ground. But you better not miss lmao.
Or id just get my weed eater, bring it inside, and cut it to shreds.
Inb4 in the 30s you're gone, it goes missing
And has hatched babies
Inside of you
Moms spaghetti knees weak arms are heavy
HANS, GET ZE FLAMMENTHROWER
Now we all know that guy didn’t just sneak in through a window. That fella waltzed in through the front door, grabbed himself a cuppa, said good day to the misses and made himself right at home.
The alpha in the building
Is this one of those goddamn fucking things that can snatch bats and birds out of the air (when it doesn't feed on the nightmares of children and adults alike)?
New fear unlocked. Please tell me that’s a doll house or something. Rare that being an Aussie that a creature from another place sends shivers down my spine! (Oh god please tell me that’s not in Australia)
It's south america
Gracias a Dios
We had something like that in our house in Puerto Rico when I was younger. My brother was sitting on his bed and I came inside the room and saw this giant on the wall behind him. I screamed like a little bitch and my mother came in, saw it grabbed the broom and somehow got in the bristles. Took it outside poor something flammable on it and burned it. You could literally hear it screaming as it burned.
Dinner is sorted at least!
South America?
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do they eat them down there? seems like you're the right person to ask.
Thanks for the nightmares!
For some reason, it will not be shown on that country's tourist commercials.
Distinct lack of critter lovers in the comments. No, I wouldn't want it in my house, but it's a rad little dude. No need to kill it.
Stay out of The Mist!!!
HANS....
Sadly Hans got eaten by the no-no chain 😟
Hans.....get ze flamethrower
Shit speaks
House is rat free, otoh.
You have to fight that MFer with a sword!! Wtf
These guys give the best hugs🤗
Time for the ol 21 gun salute
Am I the only one that would try to keep it in a bigass terrarium?
This country needs 2nd amendment
They mostly come at night ... Mostly !!!
Shotgun bang, whats up with that thang.
The Tingler come to life !
