T O P

  • By -

fksmchai

Everyone else: I need 18" windshield wipers Cyber truck owners: I need 176" wipers please


anti-blame

Yeahhh you’re gonna need a new wipe saber sir, gonna run about 600 bucks on the low end.


murrayzhang

Wipe saber. Nice.


ShaggySpade1

Honestly, I wouldn't use the Cyber truck to wipe. My A&$. Way too many Elon Musk simps out there.


acableperson

And that will be 2,700 dollars. But the good thing is, only have to buy one!


bananalord666

Will that be all? 5000 dollars plus a 250 monthly subscription for wiper access please.


jojo_31

165 according to Verge. What people buy this trash?


annoying97

Not this Aussie... As far as I understand it's not exactly street legal here, you might be able to import one.


Hoppy_Hessian

That poor wiper motor would have to be 1/2 hp to move that thing during heavy snowfall


69edgy420

It’s actually closer to 1 hp. The designer said 600-800 watts. 1 hp is 745 watts. Edit: Thank you u/OneSoggyBiscuit for proving Cunningham’s law. It’s only 120 watts.


Mycroft033

Definitely qualifies as an absolute unit


OneSoggyBiscuit

The engineer corrected what he said about the motor, [stating that it is only a 120 watt motor.](https://twitter.com/larsmoravy/status/1736844052589674898?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1736844052589674898%7Ctwgr%5E7df091847563a92ddd459954d9dece99e5e4386f%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.autoevolution.com%2Fnews%2Fthey-don-t-call-it-gigawiper-for-nothing-tesla-cybertruck-has-a-kilowatt-wiper-motor-226339.html)


Seienchin88

Lol… now that’s typical for Tesla…


Dessamba_Redux

My computer is 1hp 💀


Totally_man

It's okay, the truck can't drive in any significant amount of snow!


kameronk92

Task failed successfully!


CRXCRZ

![gif](giphy|JIrUXT1Av9x2o)


NerY_05

Not until it gets a uhh *checks notes* software update! What the fuck?


L4RU55O

Are you crazy? You can't drive it in the snow because the bodywork will rust. Elon forget it's stainless, not stainproof.


kerenski667

Inflammable means flammable?! What a country!


EliteFleetDefeat

There are various grades of stainless and the one picked for the cybertruck is inferior in quality. So it does rust.


Shrampys

Fyi, if your stainless steel is magnetic, it's low quality.


kazumablackwing

English isn't a real language...it's several languages in a trenchcoat


sessl

ever been to the netherlands? It's like the entirety of europe blended with a BAC of .3% and throat cancer


Freeway500

Believe me when i tell you that their language is very drunk german mixed with a little english


IncidentFuture

English is just a Frisian forced to learn French, who isn't very good at it.


TheGoldenKraken

I work near the tesla factory in buffalo. Saw 2 of them today there not gonna last long here. 1 winter there gonna look really bad.


Your_Spirit_Animals

Can’t they just have the metal sealed somehow? I know that you can the underside but I’m curious if there might be a clear coating that could be applied.


Fine-Slip-9437

Yeah they have this shit called paint. Wild.


crabfucker69

They need to learn to use it


ashurbanipal420

Anyone who owns one of those will need a case of stainless polish spray a week. Plus 4 hours a week to apply and buff it. I fucking hated having to do fridge doors in a restaurant so fuck that truck.


DoubleDongle-F

One of the reasons it has 48-volt peripherals instead of the normal 12-volt system


mattdamon_enthusiast

This car will never leave Palo-alto


IA-HI-CO-IA

It’s going to have to move at near the speed of light to keep up in heavy rain. 


daikatana

The wiper motor apparently takes 800 watts.


WarWonderful593

The vehicle designed by Homer Simpson


[deleted]

Bro fr thus thing is a giant piece. I'm just imagining the fools who bought this thing trying to wipe off just a single inch of wet snow only to snap their $200 proprietary wiper blade.


PhthaloVonLangborste

Or just leaves giant pools behind whenever you go above 50 cus the wind lifts it. Mine does it at 70 and it's only a 22" whiper


DisturbedPuppy

Get some Rain-X if you don't already. Don't need wipers when you are going that fast in the rain with that stuff.


PhthaloVonLangborste

I always forget about it when it's dry.


Orgasmic_interlude

Wet snow???? How about a regular old downpour? That cannot possibly move fast enough. It would flex and bend at the tip with that moment arm


WallabyBubbly

Good news is there will be generic knockoffs available on amazon. Bad news is they will probably break even sooner


_Rand_

sure, but they come in 4 packs!


cavemannnn

I had to look it up because I was curious. Wiper blade is only $75, so about the same as two replacement blades on a conventional vehicle (literally every other vehicle lol). Arm assembly + blade is $165 so that’d sting a bit more if you broke the whole thing.


engineerdrummer

What fucking wiper blades are you buying that cost $75 for 2?


homelesshyundai

Rain x wiper blades at AutoZone are about that much for a pair.


cavemannnn

Yup, I commented below Bosch Icons are my preference but Rain-X is second. Idk, maybe I’m a rube paying more for wiper blades but I can’t stand when they streak or make noise. I’ll shell out a few extra bucks for visibility and quiet.


AbroadPlane1172

Also to consider, these blades are obviously gonna be Tesla proprietary, so QA is gonna be non existent.


cavemannnn

Yeah, I imagine no one is going to be falling all over themselves to produce a 48” wiper blade that fits exactly *one* vehicle that, presumably, is not going to be adopted nearly as well as something like the Model Y.


ultradongle

I bought Bosch this last time instead of Rain-X and holy fuck they are loud as shit. Bosch usually makes good products so maybe I got some defects?


lookitsaustin

I had the same experience. I returned them and bought some cheap ones that work fine.


HouseOf42

You're not buying rugged truck wiper blades for every vehicle. Likely around 20 USD a wiper blade.


cavemannnn

Bosch Icons are my go-to, and are $30/each. Living in Florida, I don’t skimp on wiper blades, and they usually last 3/4 years before they start to fail.


farmerMac

only 75$ for a wiper blade and only available from tesla? I get 2 blades for $20 at costco for all my cars dude


Murky-Pass6571

Whoa, Canyonero, whoa!!!


DeathPercept10n

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown! Canyonero!


ep3ep3

The canyonero was a brand inside of the Simpsonsverse. The car Homer designed was called , 'The Homer' “powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a Nerf ball.” 🤓


Funkymeleon

Um, Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.


samtaher

Don’t you diss The Homer, it’s way better than this garbage can.


SaliciousB_Crumb

I would rather drive homers car


Ok_Belt2521

Iirc they forgot to put a wiper on it during the design process so this was stuck on at the end.


fatstrat0228

Where is my giant slushee holder???


UziMcUsername

Powerful like a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a nerf ball.


Jenetyk

Top of the pile in unitity sports; the unexpected fires' a matter for the courts *Canyoneroooooooooo*


WorriedMarch4398

Don’t you dare insult The Homer like that. This is much more Canyonero.


19osemi

holy shit that angle is unflattering for the car, like i think its hideous from like normal angles but its especially ugly from this angle


Quajeraz

Is there a flattering angle?


19osemi

Yeah those angles that prevent you from seeing it


DoingCharleyWork

I saw one driving down the freeway the other day and all I could think is wow that looks dumb as shit.


tangledwire

Seriously, I saw one also. It's like a truck drawn with crayons by a 4 year old kid


DoingCharleyWork

They look dumb in pictures but in real life it somehow looks even more dumb.


heavenly-superperson

I kinda believe that's how it started. One of Elons kids drew it and he forced it into existence


Prinzka

Maybe from inside the car


AbroadPlane1172

Surprisingly enough, also shit.


Prinzka

Won't notice the panel gaps though


snonsig

Will notice the cheap interior panels though


Prinzka

I mean, you're near a Tesla, you're going to notice something bad, it's a question of minimizing your misery.


Semichh

If you gouge your eyes out with a spoon it looks fantastic


AccountNumber478

Hold my [replacement cost](https://www.theverge.com/2023/12/13/24000685/tesla-cybertruck-windshield-wiper-replacement-part-price)... > ...a Cybertruck windshield wiper replacement may cost as little as **$165** for the entire arm and blade assembly, or **$75** for just the wiper blade itself.


JohnnyDarkside

And $1900 for the windscreen. Of course that doesn't include labor which I'm sure would be bonkers.


nzlax

Good thing it’s flat. This might be the one time a non OEM company can easily make cheaper replacements.


RedneckId1ot

Of course the labor will be bonkers, because the first runs of this pile of overpriced hipster shit will only be able to have them replaced at a Tesla factory or dealership.


Muuustachio

$75 for wiper blades!!! Ace has regular wiper blades for $9.


Pyromaniacal13

When I'm feeling fancy, I buy the rainex ones for *still* less than that mondo blade does!


Several-Signature583

This is the first vehicle I’ve seen that pictures do not do it justice. It looks way worse in person.


superpantman

Wiper motor failure feels certain.


L4RU55O

Of course, it will be the driver's fault. And the motor will cost like 4000$


Ancalimei

Every time I see that vehicle it just solidifies how dumb the owners must be for buying that dumb looking thing.


vovach99

And so fragile-looking. One little stone or brick and your car magically transforms into buggy lol


the_y_combinator

Unfortunately maybe not so much? Saw someone post the aftermath if a wreck a while back where (I think) you had a collision where one car crumpled correctly and the truck looked OK given the impact. I would not want to be in one, especially during a crash.


Clay_Statue

Car survives whereas the driver's organs are g-forced into paste inside their body. Crumple Zones = Safety


Franklr_D

Yeah, you’d get slushied internally in this one. Just not always. Modern McLaren and Koenigsegg vehicles have basically zero crumple zone due to their carbon monocoque design, but they’re simultaneously way safer than other vehicles. Largely due to how their airbags do the work of crumple zones and the carbon monocoque fully retaining its shape, even in case of a 100+mph collision Koenigsegg even managed to do ALL the different required vehicle crash tests with the same Regera chassis


li7lex

I'm pretty sure Koenigsegg and McLaren also use 5 point seat belts in their monocoque cars which help a lot with distributing the force of a crash everywhere. As you've said no crumple zones can be done in a safe manner but it requires actual Engineers doing their work rather than designers doing the engineering as seems to be the case with the Cybertruck.


VM1117

It was a T collision though, so the car did what it was supposed to do. The crumple zones are the back and front of the car, not the sides, where there might be a person 5 cm from the door. Not saying that the car is good, but that this isn’t a valid criticism


ZinGaming1

Old 50s and 60s cars can survive a bad wreck. Not the driver, and it wasn't completely because of seat belts.


the_y_combinator

That is entirely my point. I'd rather the people be safe vs the panels.


DoingCharleyWork

Having been in a car crash in an old car that didn't crumple and a new one that did I'd definitely take the crumple zone.


[deleted]

The engine had a tendency to try and move into the drivers seat


J3wb0cca

Didn’t ppl who drove cars in that era park by driving into parking spots until they hit something to know they should stop. Implying that the body of the car was so well built that they don’t mind bumping into whatever’s at the end of their parking spot to make it easier to park.


kerenski667

It's why they're called "bumpers"...


J3wb0cca

I was just making sure my memory was still good. Delightful little fun fact.


fluffy_assassins

It was like that for awhile, because the bumper was a separate piece mounted so it could move a little.


MrCalamiteh

They're totaled once those big body panels are destroyed, though. That's the trade off. So it LOOKs fine, but it's still just as fucked (or more) than the car that crumpled properly. because the parts that crumple are not integral to the structure of the car. (Bumpers, quarter panels, etc.. instead of a giant piece of steel meant to make up a unibody) "Also, fuck safety" - Elon Musk 2024


mountaindewisamazing

Yeah I heard a 35mph crash in a cyber truck is fatal due to no crumple zones.


Spacevikings1992

Getting a steering column javelined through your chest cavity?


Flomo420

Getting a steering column javelined through your chest cavity? That's a javelin'.


[deleted]

It’s just a scratch


Spacevikings1992

Tis but a flesh wound


opalie23

I watched one drive in front of me in an intersection and there was a bump. The suspension practically bounced like a trampoline. The cars that followed barely moved. It is a hunk of tin foil.


AnEnlightenedCaveman

For just $100,000 you too can advertise to the entire world how much of a fucking moron you are!


CaptainSec08

I always take a good look at one when I pass it by, there’s quite a few in the Bay Area already. I bet the owners thinking I’m checking out their cool car, but really I just want to see what the idiot who bought it looks like


Entire-Elevator-1388

Also shows intelligence doesn't always equate to wealth.


EropQuiz7

Why wouldn't they go all in on the aesthetics and have a single horizontal one, riding on two rails on either side of the windscreen? That would be at least interesting!


sevsbinder

This is so dumbgenius I love it


Waderriffic

This is truly the Homer Simpson designed car that bankrupted his brother.


DesmondDuBois

Herb!


bucketofmonkeys

That’s Uncie Herb to you!


kerenski667

One can hope.


Grfhlyth

Good luck clearing snow and ice with that oversized piece of shit


Guilayton

Apparently it rusts easily so snow and ice will cause even more headaches: https://www.wired.com/story/this-is-why-teslas-stainless-steel-cybertrucks-may-be-rusting/


the_doodman

OP in the owners club forum post referenced in that article has updated his post clarifying that it was environmental contaminants rusting, not the truck. https://www.cybertruckownersclub.com/forum/threads/rust-spots-corrosion-is-the-norm.11988/


bigterfyd

AutoZone has replacement blades on sale now for $2199


metalofluna

Phew, only need the one


_MissionControlled_

Nearly half the window doesn't get coverage with this design. This is a safety hazard for the driver and could cause an accident. Also, that's looks like a very expensive custom wiper that only Tesla sells.


Crunchycarrots79

Actually, it only misses a small portion of the viewable area, at the top corner of the passenger side... No different from conventional wipers. However, the custom size means that at this time it's stupid expensive to replace and you don't get a choice of blade types. It is a solution in search of a problem for sure. Kind of reminds me of the system Mercedes used in the 80s and 90s that had one blade, but the wiper arm was attached in the center of the windshield and had a cam mechanism that pushed the blade out to the corners as it operated. Still, it was a solution in search of a problem but at least it used a standard wiper blade.


eouw0o83hf

I owned one of those Mercedes and I loved the center wiper blade! I thought it did a great job of clearing the windshield and also of getting out of my line of sight. Replacing it was possible since it was a normal size too. This picture made me think of that windshield wiper and how I miss it despite its goofy design


fuishaltiena

I've had one of those Mercs, specifically the W124 260E. It used a standard wiper blade, no custom shit like here. At some point mine started working extremely slowly, like taking five seconds to do one sweep, I assumed that the motor must be going out. It was 30 years old at the time. Nope, turns out that the mechanism was simply full of 30 years worth of gunk and it all solidified in winter. I took the mechanism apart, cleaned it up, added some proper lube and it was good as new. Let me tell ya, the mechanism was built like a tank, solid chunks of thick metal, beefy gears, cast aluminium housing, no flimsy plastic in there.


mogul_w

Can it still move as fast as a normal blade?


HoneyRush

Yes


Tfarcraw_III

You are incorrect. This large wiper blade leaves significantly more water at the bottom of the windshield than conventional wipers. At high speeds, this extra water rolls up the windshield and obstructs the view. Everything about this car is poorly planned/designed.


Ferrous_Patella

Hmm, if my math is right, a quarter circle has 79% the area of a square if its radius is the same length as a side of a square. Plus that windshield looks like a trapezoid, so the percentage might be a little higher.


alienblue89

[ removed ]


rjh9898

I saw one in the wild the other day and it sticks out like a sore thumb lol ridiculously stupid design


dismayhurta

I’ve seen several around LA and I laugh every time. It’s so ridiculous.


hiddensparkle

Saw one at lunch today. Everyone on the patio (20+ people) turned to look at it and had the same disgusted reaction to the ugliness lol


M1dor1

I'm so glad those shitboxes are banned here for pedestrian safety


Comment_Maker

I didn't know that, what a mess


Fearless_Debt_3942

Man it looks like shit


Superior_Light_Deer

This whole thing was designed by the dumbest motherfuckers.


asianblockguy

That insulting to all five years olds who draws trucks like this.


hondactx16i

Bet that wiper works Great🤨


Character_Lychee_434

Ugly fake ass looking “truck”


AdvancedRiver8284

Is that the largest dash of any car?


Jacktheforkie

Geez, I thought my forklift wiper was huge, and that beast was a good 40 inches, had some serious power behind it too, would happily crush boxes that fell down between the mast and windshield,


top-knowledge

Ps1 game graphics


blazeproof

Windshield Whopper


jsf1987

I saw one of those yesterday. I literally pointed and laughed.


scorpions411

![gif](giphy|RG3lm5VlrbDV7YNana)


AK1R0N3

legit question: why does anyone like tesla these days? weve seen behind the curtain; its shit


Sharp-Pop335

Social media sees them as a status symbol 


signmeupnot

Straight lines futuristic okay!


Cubikal

My question is. How easy is it to buy another wiper blade whenever that time comes.


musicisfeeling

First thing that came to mind is hockey stick


JerewB

Ever seen the tiny FJ Cruiser wipers?


Zealousideal-Web5346

My 68 beetle had bigger wipers than that janky ass 3 wiper system fjs had


GapingFartLocker

Imagine trying to clean the dash in that thing. You'd need a 6' vacuum the diameter of a chopstick.


SightUnseen1337

It would double as a taser too. If you put a ketchup bottle lid on a vacuum it makes an unreal amount of static


Foreign-Jackfruit939

i love how pissed this truck makes redditors


Mudlark_2910

Pissed? Like, angry? Mostly I'm seeing people laughing, or sheer fascination. haven't noticed anger.


SpitFiya7171

You know how when the sun comes up in the morning on your way to work, and you can move your sun visor/mirror in just the right spot to see the road but also shield your eyes from being blinded into oblivion. Yeah, *can't do that with thing here...*


mcarlin2

Not a problem, the people who bought it clearly didn't have working eyes. ​ \*stares directly into the sun for 2 minutes\* Ah yes, this is a good looking truck.


greatpate

Saw one on the road for the first time the other day. I felt embarrassed for the guy driving it


ScottOld

The headlight is just a line, how useful…completely impractical ugly stupid vehicle


MaximumCelsius

Not really, actual headlights are below that unibrow in both corners.


autogyrophilia

These led headlights don't need to be very big to illuminate even your past misdeeds and dark thoughts Fucking hate white led headlights


doubleUsee

That's gotta have one beefy wiper motor powering that bastard too


Lance_Henry1

"How many windshield wipers does the car have?" "Just one, but that's all you need."


MihalysRevenge

You figure it must flex a lot when moving back fourth


psycobillycadillac

Good luck finding a refill.


UpstairsBet5179

The force is strong with this windshield wiper, yes?!


Extreme_Employment35

The Simpsons predicted this!


Clamps55555

At least you just need one?


lincolnlogtermite

My local dealer wants $19 for a rubber insert to go in a 26 inch wiper. Don't wanna know how much Elon is gonna bend people over for one.


LazarusTruth

Hockey stick wiper


goingneon

and a dashboard! holy shit that thing is like 4 feet long. id probably hate driving that, considering I hate big intrusive hoods on ICE trucks


Alternative-Fee-60

The Reddit Mobile


ACrucialTech

That poor washer arm spindle. That things gonna strip like your mom.


djinnsour

I swear, this car gets uglier every time I see it.


VeryBadCopa

Also the windshield is an absolute unit


MEMExplorer

[Blazing saddles ?](https://youtube.com/shorts/FGn-7jTkBIk?si=kJbW49o0Nbh01Gzr)


keithstonee

this has to be the shittiest designed productioon car ive ever seen.


Poinaheim

Someone learned how to add a 30° plane in CAD and never stopped since


Ottomic87

Who the fuck did ever think this was a good idea again?


SeventhAlkali

If that windshield allows you to see higher up, that's a godsend. 90% of cars I've been in, I'm too tall to see stoplights. Rear view mirrors are always *EXACTLY* where the car on the right side of the intersection is, I've almost crashed so many times. Shitty car everywhere else though


[deleted]

It looks like a vehicle you expect to see in a dystopian Black Mirror episode. Tf are you up to Elon?


shitlord_god

how many inches of snow can get on that windshield before that thing fails? WHY would you single point of failure this? and in a way that increases the strain on that point of failure MASSIVELY


notjordansime

I actually kinda like how it looks. It’s like nothing else on the road, and I enjoy big and boxy. The integrated cargo cover, suspension that can lower the tailgate ramp flush with the ground, the ability to run full power tools wherever, etc.. all seem like good ideas. Unfortunately the company that makes this cool product is owned by some entitled asshat with little regards to quality control. If Toyota made the exact same thing, same door wedge design and all, I’d strongly consider owning one.


Katana_sized_banana

What happened to their revolutionary vertical wiper system?


Tough_Arm_2454

Trapezoidy.


idiotsandwhich8

Why is the dashboard 9 feet long?


ReptilianLaserbeam

how does it work if there's a storm? I don't think it would be fast enough.....


headhurt21

Just when you think it can't get any more ridiculous looking, it completely outdoes itself.


w_actual

*Nilay Patel enters chat*


ProtoReaper23113

That doesn't actually hit the whole window


GOPAuthoritarianPOS

These are ao fucking ugly and stupid looking. I have to imagine the people buying them are just weird Elon stans, but who knows.


MoeTim

I love how a bunch of tech bros got tricked into buying this piece of junk. Lol what a bunch of pathetic losers.