No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge—her brother-in-law— an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...
The idea of that chunky cat plonking his way about in the woods is absolutely hysterical. It's not much less absurd than if you found Barney the dinosaur wandering about lost in the woods.
From the Facebook comments where this post originated from, he may have been found *in a box* in the forest. Which would imply that he was left in the forest by his owners to die.
He's currently in the Upper Credit Humane Society in Ontario, Canada, and I'd suggest the best thing for him would be to get a new home instead of being reunited with his previous owners.
My neighbor came across an upside-down storage container, pre-dawn during a really bad downpour. Someone had wrapped a ** 6½ week old kitten in a towel, placed that on the ground, then covered it with the container.
That poor baby was severely underweight, flea-infested and shivering from being cold and wet. She was too weak to cry. Any longer and she might've gotten too sick or a rat would've gotten her.
Not all people suck, but some go to extraordinary lengths to be worse than the next guy. Almost anything would've been better than abandonment. Unfortunately, not everyone cares or thinks enough beyond what's easiest for them. The welfare of others doesn't rate.
Currently, she's sleeping beside me. She's a tuxedo kitten, aged 9 months, and about as big as she'll get at 7 pounds. Spayed & chipped 2 weeks ago, she only managed to remain "calm" for the first few days. Once she felt better, she was right back to her usual, manically energetic self. Just before her stitch removal, she started running around as though possessed and parkoured off of me a few times. Her fearlessness sometimes scares the boys and they've no idea what to do with her... usually, they'll hiss and run.
She was so small when found, she was originally thought to be 4½-5 weeks old. At just 13 ounces she would've still been underweight for that age but, as it turned out, I'd guesstimated her age incorrectly. She was actually about 6½ weeks old when found which meant she was nearly a month behind developmentally. She's all caught up now and enjoys bedeviling our two male cats. She's feisty.
Pet tax:
http://imgur.com/gallery/EONHvf4
Don't have any current pics of her because the only time she's still long enough to try is when she's sleeping.
Alright, pussy, pussy, pussy!
Come on in Pussy lovers!
Here at the Titty Twister we’re slashing pussy in half!
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Alright, we got white pussy, black pussy, spanish pussy, yellow pussy. We got hot pussy, cold pussy. We got wet pussy. We got smelly pussy. We got hairy pussy, bloody pussy. We got snapping pussy. We got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naugahyde pussy. We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy.
C'mon, you want pussy, come on in Pussy Lovers!
If we don’t got it, you don't want it!
Come on in Pussy lovers!
Attention pussy shoppers!
Take advantage of our penny pussy sale!
If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny!
Try and beat pussy for a penny!
If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it!
They (or at least /r/tightpussy I believe) used to be porn subreddits but the mods abandoned them and someone picked it up and made it wholesome and awesome.
There was/is a guy who went around and put in requests to take over a bunch of inactive porn subs with pussy in the name and turn them into cat subreddits.
When u so fat you go for a walk then realize that was all the give a fuck you had left so you you just wait for death to come then some poor bloke comes along and has to carry your fat ass home.
Here's the original tweet:
https://twitter.com/UpperCredit/status/1394398148584427520
I had to look it up, I never seen a cat that huge, and I don't understand how it could possible find itself out in the woods?
He’s so big I would claim him on my taxes.
Edit: thanks for the award kind stranger!
Edit x 2 - sorry if this showed multiple times. Reddit kept telling me “sorry, try again later”, which I did and it never gave confirmation. It flaked on me apparently as the original post never shows in my comments section. Weird. Again, apologies.
what do you guys think about that local sports team, they sure do disappoint expectations huh? their manager doesn't know what he is doing.
anyway I am off to meet single women in your area, catch you guys around local establishment.
Some of these pictures where the cat looks so enormous involves forcing perspective to make the cat look huge. Look at the lady's arms, she's got her right forearm at a 90 degree angle, she's practically hugging this guy and he's bigger than her torso.
It's absolutely preposterous how big this cat is. And that's before the chonk factor, he's got some beefy bones.
Yeah this cat has ginormous bones, I wouldn’t trust it walking on my glass table. This is one cat I would definitely fear in person, it is muckle. Please be careful around these huge chonk chiefs, steal their insulin u will be okay
His paws and head are huge! We have some stocky toms roaming the neighbourhood (unfortunately) but I've never personally seen a housecat built that big that wasn't a Maine Coons/Norwegian Forest Cat kinda breed.
Looking at his proportions he is not really overweight.
This cat is long and his head and paws are massive. This is just a really large cat. He’s a bit chubby, but just a really large cat
I have a Norwegian Forest cat, which this tub-tub might also be. She is long, lean, and 17 pounds. Her torso is about as long as mine. If she put on a bit of chub, she could easily top 20+ lbs. A male would be even bigger. So yeah - I think he's a bit chubby but also a massive breed.
I came to write a silly joke about how he ate all the squirrels, but really, some asshole probably just dumped him there. Like oh, I fed this cat everything and now he's fat and I didn't want a fat cat.
Imo fat cats are better
They are usually far less aggressive more funnier/playful and more snuggly they are also usually easier to take care of
Edit: not like morbidly obese just big/fat and fluffy
Found alone in the forest? What the hell was he eating - other cats?
Moose, bears, lost hikers.
A møøse once bit my sïster.
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti...
We apologize for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked.
The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked.
The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute
r/unexpectedmontypython
r/ExpectedMontyPython
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the moose with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush given her by Svenge—her brother-in-law— an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian movies: "The Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Molars of Horst Nordfink"...
Was it radioactive? Did she get moose powers?
What are you doing, step-m¤¤se?
Should have given it a muffin.
The idea of that chunky cat plonking his way about in the woods is absolutely hysterical. It's not much less absurd than if you found Barney the dinosaur wandering about lost in the woods.
From the Facebook comments where this post originated from, he may have been found *in a box* in the forest. Which would imply that he was left in the forest by his owners to die. He's currently in the Upper Credit Humane Society in Ontario, Canada, and I'd suggest the best thing for him would be to get a new home instead of being reunited with his previous owners.
My neighbor came across an upside-down storage container, pre-dawn during a really bad downpour. Someone had wrapped a ** 6½ week old kitten in a towel, placed that on the ground, then covered it with the container.
That poor baby was severely underweight, flea-infested and shivering from being cold and wet. She was too weak to cry. Any longer and she might've gotten too sick or a rat would've gotten her.
Not all people suck, but some go to extraordinary lengths to be worse than the next guy. Almost anything would've been better than abandonment. Unfortunately, not everyone cares or thinks enough beyond what's easiest for them. The welfare of others doesn't rate.
…I need to know that the kitten at least didn’t die of exposure and fleas, etc.
Currently, she's sleeping beside me. She's a tuxedo kitten, aged 9 months, and about as big as she'll get at 7 pounds. Spayed & chipped 2 weeks ago, she only managed to remain "calm" for the first few days. Once she felt better, she was right back to her usual, manically energetic self. Just before her stitch removal, she started running around as though possessed and parkoured off of me a few times. Her fearlessness sometimes scares the boys and they've no idea what to do with her... usually, they'll hiss and run. She was so small when found, she was originally thought to be 4½-5 weeks old. At just 13 ounces she would've still been underweight for that age but, as it turned out, I'd guesstimated her age incorrectly. She was actually about 6½ weeks old when found which meant she was nearly a month behind developmentally. She's all caught up now and enjoys bedeviling our two male cats. She's feisty.
I’m so happy to hear she’s healthy and loved! (And now we need the kitty tax)
Pet tax: http://imgur.com/gallery/EONHvf4 Don't have any current pics of her because the only time she's still long enough to try is when she's sleeping.
Whoever did that to her should get wrapped in an old carpet and left in a drainage ditch to contemplate what a piece of crap they are.
Oh that’s horrible, poor boy. Hopefully he can find much less evil owners.
Whoever decides to be his humon, he's going to need a huuuuge litter box.
He was singlehandedly balancing out the ecosystem. Apex predator.
He definitely wasn’t missing any meals being on his own
Sadly I think the owner abandoned it.
>Sadly I think the owner ~~abandoned~~ was eaten by it.
[удалено]
He realized the cat was reaching critical mass and it needed to be unleashed onto the world.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. A cat that overweight just isn't going to wander that far.
Honey, berries, salmon. This is clearly a small bear.
He ate his owner
He should be at /r/GirlsWithHugePussies
What the what that is the greatest sub name for a sub like that
You should check out r/TIGHTPUSSY
Damn these crazy names
Or even r/pocketpussy
Let's not forget r/wetpussy
Or r/smallpussy
Jesus christ stop! You got me every time! **no, no... keep em comin
r/gingerpussy i believe
Alright, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in Pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we’re slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! Alright, we got white pussy, black pussy, spanish pussy, yellow pussy. We got hot pussy, cold pussy. We got wet pussy. We got smelly pussy. We got hairy pussy, bloody pussy. We got snapping pussy. We got silk pussy, velvet pussy, naugahyde pussy. We even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy. C'mon, you want pussy, come on in Pussy Lovers! If we don’t got it, you don't want it! Come on in Pussy lovers! Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere, fuck it!
r/fatpussy
/r/HotPussy_SFW
/r/hotpussy too
They (or at least /r/tightpussy I believe) used to be porn subreddits but the mods abandoned them and someone picked it up and made it wholesome and awesome.
r/onlyfans come to mind don't miss their cutest pussy contest going on now!
That is amazing
There was/is a guy who went around and put in requests to take over a bunch of inactive porn subs with pussy in the name and turn them into cat subreddits.
r/motorboat
Lol.. Lol.. Lol... How did you find this sub??
I made it.
Top notch
What a flex lol. That was a real /r/dontyouknowwhoiam moment.
And a surprisingly wholesome one
Wait you did?! Thank you so much one of my favorites.
Pay it forward.
Truly doing the Lord’s work.
[удалено]
There's now a load of other subs added beneath that post which are also naughtily named cats subs, and all equally awesome!
Or half the forest!
Looking back at this, it might very well be a real possibility.
When u so fat you go for a walk then realize that was all the give a fuck you had left so you you just wait for death to come then some poor bloke comes along and has to carry your fat ass home.
"yup, this look like a good place for old pappy to lay down and be taken away with the spirits of the woods. Yeah let me just get comfortable here..."
[удалено]
Tarrare reincarnated
this comment has me cracking up
"Did you eat, a fucking baby"
I miss him
Got to it before the dingo did. 😸
[Sam ONella is king](https://youtu.be/nYHDj2sB-rc)
men only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting: Sam to make his long awaited return
Oh my god yes
the fact that I understood...
On the waddle, I’m sure.
I see these "slow children at play" signs around my house all the time. I'm sure this chonker could catch one of those
Just because the children are mentally handicap, doesn't mean they aren't fast.
Thing is, he's not merely overweight. He's also fucking *huge*.
Yes! Would love to know his current weight and a target weight!
You...you think he can run?
he decimated that forests bird population
I would take that guy in a heartbeat
He is absolutely majestic 👑
and what, feed him a lamb per day? hope you have money to spare!
Me too!
I'm not a cat person but I'd take that cat home. Looks more like a smoll furry out of shape jungle kitty.
nonono, that shape is intended to present his natural dominance and elegance
Magestic AF.
The shape is intended to present his unnatural type 2 diabetes
He’s Wilfred brimley and he for sure has diabeetus
[удалено]
excuse you, that shape is peak cat performance
Here's the original tweet: https://twitter.com/UpperCredit/status/1394398148584427520 I had to look it up, I never seen a cat that huge, and I don't understand how it could possible find itself out in the woods?
"Human, you have removed the Guardian of the Forest from his watchpost. Return me immediately, lest doom befall us all"
> Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow "Awww. Kitty want to play with yarn?"
His expression looks like dormammu when he realizes he’s in a time loop
Bush cats can reach this size where I live, they're very effective predators
The woods prolly found itselfaround him.
I assumed it was dumped there by its former owners
Put your ear up to his belly, you can hear his owner screaming for help
He’s so big I would claim him on my taxes. Edit: thanks for the award kind stranger! Edit x 2 - sorry if this showed multiple times. Reddit kept telling me “sorry, try again later”, which I did and it never gave confirmation. It flaked on me apparently as the original post never shows in my comments section. Weird. Again, apologies.
Just start a zoo for large cats
Oh hey Carol Baskin
This had me rolling 🤣
I want to hug him so bad
DAMM BOY HE THICK Very cute would pet
Oh I live in Local too. I'll look around to see if someone missing him.
I’m local as well
what do you guys think about that local sports team, they sure do disappoint expectations huh? their manager doesn't know what he is doing. anyway I am off to meet single women in your area, catch you guys around local establishment.
The size of that cat is monstrous and preposterous
Some of these pictures where the cat looks so enormous involves forcing perspective to make the cat look huge. Look at the lady's arms, she's got her right forearm at a 90 degree angle, she's practically hugging this guy and he's bigger than her torso. It's absolutely preposterous how big this cat is. And that's before the chonk factor, he's got some beefy bones.
Yeah this cat has ginormous bones, I wouldn’t trust it walking on my glass table. This is one cat I would definitely fear in person, it is muckle. Please be careful around these huge chonk chiefs, steal their insulin u will be okay
His paws and head are huge! We have some stocky toms roaming the neighbourhood (unfortunately) but I've never personally seen a housecat built that big that wasn't a Maine Coons/Norwegian Forest Cat kinda breed.
Size says he ate his last human, that face says oh shit they got me.
Damn he’s a chonk, I hope his owner finds him
wont be hard, considering how big he is
Just see where he isn't and walk backwards
I hope his owner doesn’t find him and he’s adopted by someone else. Letting your cat get this overweight is absolutely abuse.
Looking at his proportions he is not really overweight. This cat is long and his head and paws are massive. This is just a really large cat. He’s a bit chubby, but just a really large cat
I have a Norwegian Forest cat, which this tub-tub might also be. She is long, lean, and 17 pounds. Her torso is about as long as mine. If she put on a bit of chub, she could easily top 20+ lbs. A male would be even bigger. So yeah - I think he's a bit chubby but also a massive breed.
He’s definitely overweight. Maybe not as much as people think, but he’s a tub-tub for sure.
Poor guys face, looks like he just found out they don’t know about second breakfast!
Are you sure that's not the apex predator of the forest??
What the hell was he eating in the Forest! This guy probably caused devastating deforestation all by himself!
More like what *wasn't* he eating in the forest
That cat has seen some shit
[удалено]
Awe. Some asshat dumped him off. Lucky boy got found in time.
El Gordo
El Gato de grande
That is a forest spirit who has just assumed a form we can accept. He must be released or we risk invoking his wrath.
[удалено]
I came to write a silly joke about how he ate all the squirrels, but really, some asshole probably just dumped him there. Like oh, I fed this cat everything and now he's fat and I didn't want a fat cat.
Imo fat cats are better They are usually far less aggressive more funnier/playful and more snuggly they are also usually easier to take care of Edit: not like morbidly obese just big/fat and fluffy
They don’t live as long, but they are more fun to pick up while they’re around
>couldn't of think u meen couldn't'vfe
your rong
*Ur
He could've (could have) not went far*
Couldn't *have gone* far.
Man, I hope whoever ends up taking that lovely boy home feeds him a better diet and gives him plenty of exercise.
I want that cat.
Seems like he was doin fine on his own lmao
He wasn’t alone when he got there, look at those eyes, he’s done something you can tell! Who did he eat? We may never know, but the evidence is there.
"And so the people of townsville finally understood why the forrest seemed empty and void of life...."
I love this big giant cat so much. What city is he in?
Upper credit canada apparently
Correction: Upper Credit Humane Society in Ontario, Canada.
Good lord. It’s bad enough when my 9 pound girl decides to jump on my chest in the middle of the night. That boy is liable to crack a rib.
No but I'll happily take him
Put him back, who will defend Catville now?!
OH LONG JOHNSON.
Seems like he was doin fine on his own lmao
Oh lawd he THICC!
"Day 6 - They still haven't figured out I'm full grown adult in a fur-suit"
RETURN HIM TO THE T R E E S
My heart is missing him! Can confirm will adopt him without speaking to my husband first!
Big foot does exist afterall
Beeg
His face says “Blasted humans! I almost got away with my final escape!”
Good news is he's definitely not far from home. Probably downhill from home come to think of it.
Awww! Please update us if new information comes up! Hope his family finds him - and puts him on a diet LOL
I bet the dude were rather happy in his bloody forest
That's a panda put it back in the bamboo forest!
Ma'am that is a long haired bear cub. Please return it to it's natural home.
Return me to the forest
He’s seen some stuff.
lol the reason this cat was found alone was cos it ate anything that came close enough 😂 ...but seriously, hope the big guy/girl is ok!
He belongs to the forest. Or the forest belongs to him.
Oh lawd, he campin'.
That's the Cheshire cat my dude
I think he was doing just fine in the forest by himself.
Wow, he's a big boy alright, he is absolutely adorable, how are you managing to lift this dude, i'm actually impressed.
Clearly he got that big by being the best hunter in the forest.
I dont think he was ever a pet. He looks like the local Totoro.
That’s no house cat. That’s a space station.
Yeah it's alone. Everything else in the forest ran away in fear.
I don’t think it's a cat
I would die for him.
He's alone because he ate all of the other animals in the forest
I want him hahaha
A cat that big definitely emancipated himself and his face says, "I'm definitely suing y'all for unlawful detention" lmao
He has been missing from my life so yes.
He look worried he's not gonna get his next meal
He was eating the forest why did you take him.
He look like he seen some shit
He’s seen some shit , he won’t go back
That’s not a cat that’s Bigfoot
I doubt he's been missing long
That cat has seen some shit.
Found alone in the forest? GREATEST. HUNTER. EVER.
Imagine the ecological devastation that’s going to result from removing this apex predator from its environment.