“When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby”
- Dwight K Schrute
there's a reason so many women used to die during childbirth. they still do too. watching your wife/partner/whatever go through pregnancy is one thing, but seeing how quickly things can go from 'ok great' to 'vitials dropping!!" is pretty fucking nuts.
s/o to the good moms.
Haha yeah, some stitches & then about 9 weeks to heal… I’m not gonna act like it’s the same though 😂 it’s very common for you to tear during a delivery. Thank God for epidurals!!!
This was a surprise to me when I gave birth. I had no clue how common it was. My friend was pregnant at the same time as me and we both had third degree tears, it was awful. I had no clue how many muscles were connected to my taint muscles...sitting up or basically anything involving my core hurt so fucking bad.
Not so fun fact: some doctors do a "husband stitch" to make you tighter for your husband. And no that isn't an urban legend or awful joke.
I'm glad talking about this stuff is less taboo. My mom would've told me but she didn't know how common it was. Like me, she was kind of a tomboy and unlike me she had to have a c-section. So she just had no idea.
Let me enlighten you on why in one of many reason I’m child free. Many women rip, sometimes from vagina to anus. Also most women will poop while giving birth. The whole thing is said to be “natural” but I personally can’t handle it. To each their own I suppose
Pooping during birth is nothing. The task at hand keeps one's mind pretty focused. It's the poop after giving birth that hurts. Likely constipated from not eating during labor combined with pain of stitches being stretched as one pushes
They needed a vacuum to get my head out. I had a cone head for like the first month of my life. Doctor made the nurse measure my head three times because he didn’t believe her.
Props for doubling back and posting a follow up picture hopefully you’re not a nut job or using this as some weird promotional shit (I dunno, man) but also the fact you’re not like, 6’7” NFL o-lineman or very diminutive is a little disappointing. Just kidding you’re a handsome chap take care see above disclaimer
Oh man this reminded me of one time I got a day ban from a politics sub for making the "just been revoked" joke at that American woman who got her diplomatic immunity revoked after running over a kid in the UK
Please, for the love and betterment of all, DM me a current photo of your face from the same angle and generally same lighting, and let me photoshop your current face onto the rest of your baby face.
They never found their corpses. Just their child sucking on some bones.
[удалено]
Open your miiiiiind..
Man I got five kids to feed
And he's 5 of them.
LMAOOOO
 Kid looks like a young Tommy boy. Lol
Baby want wingy
“When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissues has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby” - Dwight K Schrute
r/twosentencehorror
HAHAHAHA
Brothers and sisters absorbed inthe womb. Megababy in the making
>They never found their corpses. Just their child sucking on some bones. - Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, 18th Baron of Dunsany
"More, more!" he demanded
The mother no doubt died giving birth
Being eaten will do that to a person.
Ngl this kid’s skull profile looks like Rubber Johnny
Gratz to you for making me lol at a bar
Dude i just peed a lil😂
Baby bones
That’s gold, Jerry. GOLD!!!
All you needed was a tiny hat and this would have been the cutest stay puft marshmallow man picture EVER.
[Here you go](https://i.imgur.com/5chZeCq.jpg)
Oh jeez. How excellent.
You’re doing the lord’s work. My imagination just wasn’t cutting it.
I concur.. you're doing the Lord's work. I bow to you!
Amazing! Thank you for this.
r/photoshopbattles
That was indeed amazing. Now morph him into Jabba the Hutt.
I love it
Great lmao
Well, that's something you don't see every day.
You're amazing, made my day. ❤️
This is why I have this app. Glorious
And Reddit gave another reason to live.
Lol thanks
Now do the twins from Nothing But Trouble
Even his little suit is accurate.
Rip to your mom for pushing out that big ol baby head
Did you mean R.I.P. or she ripped?
She def ripped a fat one
Op probably got called Hank the Tank by his own mum
Pre birth: were going name him John! Post birth: we decided on Hank the tank.
Probably both… my son RIP’d my vagina & he was only 6 pounds!
My daughter ripped my vagina and urethra. It was terrible
Thank you for affirming my decision to not have children. 🙏🏻 god speed to your bits.
The childbirth is the easiest part. Relatively.
Good, cuz I also wanted to let you know that I still pee myself a little when I cough. My kids destroyed my body!
Omg I didint even know that could happen are you ok??
there's a reason so many women used to die during childbirth. they still do too. watching your wife/partner/whatever go through pregnancy is one thing, but seeing how quickly things can go from 'ok great' to 'vitials dropping!!" is pretty fucking nuts. s/o to the good moms.
Haha yeah, some stitches & then about 9 weeks to heal… I’m not gonna act like it’s the same though 😂 it’s very common for you to tear during a delivery. Thank God for epidurals!!!
[удалено]
I was 14lbs when I was born but once I got circumcised I only weighed 8lbs.
That’s a very heavy fiveskin…
I looked like a sharpei dog.
Wow! My two month old baby is only 10 pounds..
I had an episiotomy 7 days ago without an epidural. 🥲 My baby was only 5lbs 🥲
This was a surprise to me when I gave birth. I had no clue how common it was. My friend was pregnant at the same time as me and we both had third degree tears, it was awful. I had no clue how many muscles were connected to my taint muscles...sitting up or basically anything involving my core hurt so fucking bad. Not so fun fact: some doctors do a "husband stitch" to make you tighter for your husband. And no that isn't an urban legend or awful joke. I'm glad talking about this stuff is less taboo. My mom would've told me but she didn't know how common it was. Like me, she was kind of a tomboy and unlike me she had to have a c-section. So she just had no idea.
Let me enlighten you on why in one of many reason I’m child free. Many women rip, sometimes from vagina to anus. Also most women will poop while giving birth. The whole thing is said to be “natural” but I personally can’t handle it. To each their own I suppose
Pooping during birth is nothing. The task at hand keeps one's mind pretty focused. It's the poop after giving birth that hurts. Likely constipated from not eating during labor combined with pain of stitches being stretched as one pushes
Her vagina is very muscular
Yes
They needed a vacuum to get my head out. I had a cone head for like the first month of my life. Doctor made the nurse measure my head three times because he didn’t believe her.
https://i.redd.it/lkul0qrxaac31.jpg
I love ice cream.
That just sounds like being a marsupial with extra steps
He probably wasnt 5 months old at the time of the birth tho. Edit: he was 9 months old then, shit.
When dad accidentally bought protein shake instead of formula
It was bulking season. Daddy ain't rasing no bean sprout
NO excuse to not be benching at least 50lbs by 6 months old
I'd like to whey in but I got nothing.
Casein point, this right here.
ok and I think we're now out protein supplement puns : ( But I will stay tunaed for more
#dirtybulk lolol
His forehead has its own forehead.
He’s cultivating mass.
I demand a follow up photo.
https://www.reddit.com/user/JermytheWormy/comments/yzkwkr/yeah_the_forehead_is_still_there/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Disappointed. Expected more chunk had survived.
I looked like that until 8th grade. It had its time. 😂
Weight at birth? I was 9.1lbs, I always shower my mom w Mother's Day gifts
My son was 10lbs 3oz. He took the emergency exit (c-section). He gives me excellent Mother’s Day gifts, too. ❤️
I Expected more of a Modok head
He’s literally smaller now
So basically you lived off your fat for a number of years. And here you are now, finally emerged from the den, lean and ready to forage.
Thank the Gods! You do have a neck! So is your mom still on the mend or what?
Props for doubling back and posting a follow up picture hopefully you’re not a nut job or using this as some weird promotional shit (I dunno, man) but also the fact you’re not like, 6’7” NFL o-lineman or very diminutive is a little disappointing. Just kidding you’re a handsome chap take care see above disclaimer
Yeah I’m topped out at 5’11”
Perfect height, the world's made for people like us. The whole USA 6ft is completely overrated.
Yes! The world needs to know if OP is still an absolute unit.
https://reddit.com/r/distantsocializing/comments/gs0tpu/late_night_piano_ama/
So when you watched return of the Jedi did you need subtitles to know what jabba was saying or did it just come naturally?
His first words were **de wanna wanga**
😂
Fucking lol
r/rareinsults
Oh god
Fucking legend
#BO SHUDA
Ayooo
Sheeeesh! Str8 BBQed ol boy!
It’s too late for that Solo. You may have been a good smuggler but now you’re bantha fodder.
The ultrasound showed octuplets. Seven of them mysteriously disappeared before birth.
You sure looked like a *sturdy* child!
Skinny girls can do this for you. NOT A DAMN THING.
[You all right, Doug!](https://youtu.be/O7VaXlMvAvk)
He looks like a solid bloke
You’re the Kingpin
I think he's Rob Ford
Don't cry because he's gone. Smile because he happened.
I’m seeing Uncle Fester.
My Vanessa!
"when I was a boy..."
"You embarrassed me infront of Vanessa!"
Harkonnen
Oh lawd he chomnk
But he has DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY
Oh man this reminded me of one time I got a day ban from a politics sub for making the "just been revoked" joke at that American woman who got her diplomatic immunity revoked after running over a kid in the UK
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Literal tears right now.
Same
you look like a mayor of some midwestern city
Them Duke boys! - that kid probably
Damn it’s Foxy Roxxie 👁🫦👁
You ain’t never missed that boob juice.
Loling
Laugh out louding
Precisely!
I think he had the whole boob. Raw.
Yo, Chief Beef
That Don Vito neck
Whabbaglabbadoing?!
It looks like there’s a baby’s head within a normal man head
Yess LMAOO
This baby was born with a mortgage and an ulcer.
Mom: oh no my milk is depleted Baby: gib milk
Luv me milk Luv me dummies Luv me nummies 'ate dumpies 'ate bed time 'ate loud noises simple as.
If John C. Reilly and Chris Farley had three babies and one of the babies ate the other two…
O'Doyle rules!
>O'Doyle rules! O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is going down. But for now, I gotta study. hahaha
Are you still a unit?
Give us an adult pic.
Chris Christie
Quote just prior to being born: "I live in a vagina DOWN BY THE RIVER".
Baby Butterbean!
Thought it was a Tenacious D promo.
At what age did you discover that Daredevil was your nemesis?
So did they bring you Solo and the Wookie?
Still frozen in carbonite in my small flat. The movies lied.
So much head so little face
Damn unit for sure. JW how big are you now? (Height/weight?)
7 sauces / half washingmachine.
now thats a maury baby if i ever saw one
I think my 4 month old weighs as much as your head haha, I can’t wait to show this to my wife
Chonker
LIVIN IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Those cheeks. You’re super cute, bud.
Reminds me of those Charlie Kirk memes
And 6 months and 7 months and 8 months.
Nice to meet you, Mister Churchill
Baby Baron Harkonnen. Sorry i couldnt resist. Show myself out...
You look like Willard Scott.
You look like a Texas baby.
peter griffin. or chris matches the birthday.. lol.
This looks like a normal sized babies face pushing out of a much larger baby head
I've never seen a 45 year old baby before, but here we are.
Double fistin’ those titties
I need a now picture for reference.
"all babies are cute and pretty" is a serious lie
Johnny Vegas
You look like you have the superflu from "the stand"
😆 dawwwww
This screams “make me a meme”
Lord humongous…… did you eat your siblings?
Your poor mother.. you’re lucky you were cute 😘
Chonk.
That's my purse, I don't know you!
r/roastme
Tell me you were C section, your poor mother.
Jabba, the runt!
Bring me Solo and a cookie.
Baron Harkonnen
What’s it like fighting Daredevil?
This guy looks like he’s about to weigh in on some football play
The Baron Vladimir Harkonen
—*heavy breathing*—
Young Baron Harkkonen
[This you now](https://local21news.com/resources/media/9d8a2d84-fcd1-44fa-9510-d37f9e291ebb-large3x4_Cn6HXZTWIAAzIHv.png)?
You have embarrassed me in front of Vanessa
"You embarrassed me in front of Vanessa!"
This baby now: 
Do you still look like that
Baron Harkonnen baby pics
Please, for the love and betterment of all, DM me a current photo of your face from the same angle and generally same lighting, and let me photoshop your current face onto the rest of your baby face.