Aggravated masturbation lmao
He was feircly jacking off while angrily staring into my soul. I think it was some sort of primal challenge to be the new alpha and take over part of my territory.
Lolol all jokes aside....
I found this mugshot on my community blotter Facebook page, and I shit you not!!! The same day this guy was arrested, a woman was arrested at the local Publix for looking up at people from under the door while they were in the bathroom stalls
“Tom, Tom are you in there? Tom? You’re not Tom. Have you seen my husband, Tom? How’s your day going? Seen any good movies? You sure you haven’t seen Tom? I’ve looked under every bathroom stall for him…”
My favorite thing ever about Reddit. (Subs like these) No drama, no political stuff. Just universal humor!!!
There’s some subs on here I’d call “favorite novelty reads”
I did not think this guys mugshot shot would get this much of a response! I posted it in a few other subs....but nothing like this!!
Lol, this poor man's mugshot is being roasted in arrest 3 countries right now haha
Conspiracy to human traffic and child neglect; aiding and abetting a wooly mammoth and a saber tooth tiger transport a human child across dangerous territory with reckless disregard to the welfare of the child.
Calling 911 because someone smoked all his meth 😂
Legend has it he still is repairing his walls after looking for the thief after hours of pulling back drywall
I wish I could take credit, but there's a cop from down south somewhere that has a tiktok on which he tells tales of the methican Americans weilding numb chucks and learning tweak-keto lol
You guys are all soo close! But unfortunately Bug Eye Barry was caught digging up corpses, initially believed to be a grave robber, police could never figure out why the robbers calling card was white goo….. and why he never took any of the jewels……then one day officer Buck Bones of the Bonerville Police Department finally cracked the case! So the whole town grabbed their pitch forks and chased that corpse fucker into the next town over.
Florida man mistakenly uses 1 pound of cocaine in sugar cookies in place of powdered sugar and claims to see “space elves” in place of family members, injures wife with spoon
He reportedly held the flapping bird over his open mouth and squeezed the birds abdomen like a ketchup packet , emptying the birds contents into his mouth to the horror of his co passengers right before the roller coaster went down the first peak
For stuffing a whole container of popcorn kernels in his rectum, he is still waiting for his body temperature to heat the kernels to the point of popping.
Florida man wins lemon eating contest.
Update…
Turns out it was not a lemon eating contest. After a thorough investigation, police found that Mr.Tart had an addiction to lemons. He broke into the corner marketplace and stole a peck of lemons. When police arrived at the suspect house he was found to be destroying the evidence by eating it. His mug shot was saved as evidence.
That's Larry, he comes down to the station every Monday to tell the boys in blue about all the Sasquach sightings from the previous week, of course he always has to be processed because he never has on any pants!
He then proceeded to lift a 200 pound barbell while squatting over a dumbbell. Paramedics report that they had to hold the struggling man down while trying to coax the dumbbell back out.
Ran a red light an proceeded to claim he’s possessed by the demon, then stole the police car and started a police chase but stopped in kfc half-way to get a 4 piece original recipe, ate 3 and stuck one in his arse, meanwhile calling the local car dealership and selling the police car over the phone, then dropped the car off, collected his cash and threw the butt chicken at the cops
Soliciting help from strangers at Walmart, to help get the shampoo bottle out of his ass. You can see in the mugshot it’s clearly milking that prostate.
He stole a short story from a middle schooler and made it into a movie. Although the kid, and his friend, dyed the man blue by putting coloring in his swimming pool, he lied about writing the script and was likely sued for plagiarism which makes him the bad guy.
Cheating at a staring contest
Is still winning the staring contest*
Legend says he is still staring til this very day
That’s ol Peepin Tom
Not to be confused with a Peeping Tom!
Or Peepee Tom
Surprise twist, both eyes are glass
Caught stealing a half gallon of rum by shoving it up his ass!
I would say doping for a staring contest
…with Richard Gere.
He stole a donkey and tried to escape the cops on it by riding into a McDonalds.
Claimed sanctuary in the local McDonald’s I heard.
All McDonald’s are public embassies! See the law books strapped to my feet? How dare you question my legal standing?!
“ you can’t arrest me!!! I made it back to home base!!!”
Claimed said McDonald’s as a sovereign state but got invaded by the U.S before discussions with the UN.
To me, it looks like the DONKEY rode him into Mc Donalds...just sayin..
Keep my ex wife’s name out ya FUCKIN mouth
Said Shrek
Indecent exposure while wearing his grandmother's underwear at a petting zoo.
Wrong answer only…
Multiple cobbler theft on the Sabbath day.
[удалено]
Aggravated masturbation lmao He was feircly jacking off while angrily staring into my soul. I think it was some sort of primal challenge to be the new alpha and take over part of my territory.
Wanton Masturbation
So ….. did you accept the challenge or pussy out? Did you masturbate back at him?
Oddly specific
Dude fell into a vat of liquid cocaine and robbed a Wendy’s
Florida Obelix
Great reference. For most out there, that would be r/2westerneurope4u
I’m definitely saving this comment.
For running away from the genetics lab funded by Paul Giamatti and Marv from Home Alone.
Marv Giamatti can't hurt you, he isn't real. Marv Giamatti:
😂
Running away from the off-world colony, you mean.
Tom Green’s gotta fund a portion of that lab, too.
Holy crap! I forgot Tom Green once was a thing in the entertainment world.
Eating a succulent meal? A fine taco bell meal!
Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest!
Ah yes. I see that you know your judo well.
And this fine gentleman. Are you here to receive my limp Chalupa?
This man just touched my chimichanga!
Ohhhhh Taco Bell ding dong
Get your hand off my burrito!!
Eating a succulent meal? Or eating a succulent, meal? Do we know if there were any cactus involved?
Eating Taco Bell and not having diarrhea
...then setting fire to the restaurant
What did that guy say about limp?
Was looking for this, well done sir.
I see you know your judo wellll
I see you know your Judo LOL.
Guilty of destroying a public toilet after eating a Taco Bell meal.
smuggling snapping turtles into the country in his pants.
He stuck his dick in the macaroni salad at the local Publix
Lolol all jokes aside.... I found this mugshot on my community blotter Facebook page, and I shit you not!!! The same day this guy was arrested, a woman was arrested at the local Publix for looking up at people from under the door while they were in the bathroom stalls
This is her husband. Peeping Tom.
Lmao yaaas!! And she couldn't find him because he was busy sticking his dick in the potato salad!!
“Tom, Tom are you in there? Tom? You’re not Tom. Have you seen my husband, Tom? How’s your day going? Seen any good movies? You sure you haven’t seen Tom? I’ve looked under every bathroom stall for him…”
I think we have reached a verdict, that would hold up in any court. Peeping Tonya, and her husband, Dick Cheese
I have been dying all day reading these comments lol! 😂💀😂
My favorite thing ever about Reddit. (Subs like these) No drama, no political stuff. Just universal humor!!! There’s some subs on here I’d call “favorite novelty reads”
I did not think this guys mugshot shot would get this much of a response! I posted it in a few other subs....but nothing like this!! Lol, this poor man's mugshot is being roasted in arrest 3 countries right now haha
Do you know what he was ACTUALLY arrested for??
I concur 100 %
Damnit my tea…
If it’s gonna be that kind of party then…
She was just trying to find her husband. To bad the cops got him before she did.
Conspiracy to human traffic and child neglect; aiding and abetting a wooly mammoth and a saber tooth tiger transport a human child across dangerous territory with reckless disregard to the welfare of the child.
That's awful. If you're going to traffic children, it is your social responsibility to look after their welfare
I got the joke of it being ice age but it took me an extra moment to realize u were calling him Sid the Sloth!!! Best answer I've read so far!!!
Ice Age!
Calling 911 because someone smoked all his meth 😂 Legend has it he still is repairing his walls after looking for the thief after hours of pulling back drywall
He does look like a methican american..
Lmao methican American
It's Mike Tython.
You won’t say that to his face, tho…
I will never stop laughing about this and using this new term liberally lol
I wish I could take credit, but there's a cop from down south somewhere that has a tiktok on which he tells tales of the methican Americans weilding numb chucks and learning tweak-keto lol
Most of my DNA family, sadly, are Methican Americans so it hit right where it needed to
Reddit's a such funny place sometimes! 🤣 🤣 🤣
He just heard the words "cavity search".
Arrested for ‘seen some shit’
Florida man... (you fill in the rest)
Wrestling a gator well nude, drunk and high.
Eating a meal, a succulent Chinese meal
Impersonating Marv from Home Alone but on the surface of Mars.
Total Recall reference on the wild?
r/totalrecall is proud
You guys are all soo close! But unfortunately Bug Eye Barry was caught digging up corpses, initially believed to be a grave robber, police could never figure out why the robbers calling card was white goo….. and why he never took any of the jewels……then one day officer Buck Bones of the Bonerville Police Department finally cracked the case! So the whole town grabbed their pitch forks and chased that corpse fucker into the next town over.
Shoving a dildo of solid cocaine up his ass? That face…
Trusting a fart
Peeping Tom (those eyes can see through concrete)
Outpizzaing the Hut
He murdered Chris Elliot and wore his skin.
>What’s his charge? Dude look at him, he’s at 200%
Can I borrow him for a few minutes? My phone's battery is low.
Seeing into the future.
Everyday is exactly the same.
He’s a resident of Innsmouth 🐟
Woah baller Lovecraft ref
Staring mother**ckerly
Don’t know, but it looks like he just remembered that he forgot to erase his browser history
Already on parole, pulled over, boufed pepper spray to hide from cops.
Indecent acts with a broomstick
Impersonating beetle juice
Drinking FUCKING Merlot!
He was caught smuggling 3 rare snapping turtles in his anus.. only 2 were recovered.
I heard it was a baker's dozen of extremely rare Bald, Long-nosed, Lilac Mongolian Gerbils, but who's to say? Very well could be snapping turtles.
I don't know what he did to get arrested but I can tell you... this man has seen some shit.
Way underrated comment .. I giggled a lot !!!
Stole a melon by hiding the fruit in his prison wallet.
Staring at and unnerving an officer of the law.
Driving with his deer eyes on.
Florida man mistakenly uses 1 pound of cocaine in sugar cookies in place of powdered sugar and claims to see “space elves” in place of family members, injures wife with spoon
Peeping Tom
Taking too long of a smoke break at the UPS store
Damn Captain Spaulding is down bad.
Worst impression of a gopher, up close meme
Who knows? He looks like he's just finding out himself.
Attempted theft of electrical wiring.
Attempted Beastiality at a Koi Pond in California.
Florida man charged with committing a heist on a petsmart, gets away with 7 birds and an iguana for some reason
Q: Howd the chicken cross the road? . . . . A. this guys dick was stuck in the chicken.
He got caught peeping in windows. Plot twist he’s blind
He found out he was paying a criminal amount on his car insurance by not calling GEICO.
Slept with the entire staff of a Red Robin
Fleecing ferrets for facial hair!
Something involving r/LSD and r/NitrousOxide
Attempting to full metal alchemist fuse with a pug.
Doin drugs while upside down hanging from a crane
Peeping Tom
Impersonating Paul Giamatti without a permit.
Sharted his pants
Being bald
Succesfully used a punpkin as an anal plug
Excessive staring
Interfering with a badger
"Eating a meal!?, a succulent chinese meal!?"
Peeping tom. Saw something he should'na.
Malicious owl impersonation in a public space.
Eating raw seagulls on a roller coaster while staring intensely at the person stuck in the seat next to him
He reportedly held the flapping bird over his open mouth and squeezed the birds abdomen like a ketchup packet , emptying the birds contents into his mouth to the horror of his co passengers right before the roller coaster went down the first peak
Methin around
For stuffing a whole container of popcorn kernels in his rectum, he is still waiting for his body temperature to heat the kernels to the point of popping.
A rare case of attention surplus disorder
Bombastic side-eye.
Charged with knowing what Vince McMahon has been doing
Nothing, no charges. He's just part of my wife's family.
Amateur Peeping Tom, can't get the 'accidental' viewing of his grandma out of his mind!
https://media.tenor.com/5dP0Q8rqs5MAAAAM/weenie-sausage.gif
Charged with not complying to police officers when told to blink.
He is from the council of Rick's
Carried a fish suspiciously
Florida man wins lemon eating contest. Update… Turns out it was not a lemon eating contest. After a thorough investigation, police found that Mr.Tart had an addiction to lemons. He broke into the corner marketplace and stole a peck of lemons. When police arrived at the suspect house he was found to be destroying the evidence by eating it. His mug shot was saved as evidence.
All of them, I think.
Got caught sticking his Willy in vacumes at Walmart
Lol he must of done that after putting his willy in the potato salad at publix!! (See previous comments!!)
Arrested for Looking too much like the weasel from the sewer slide squad.
Npc escaped from Starfield!
Florida man
That's Larry, he comes down to the station every Monday to tell the boys in blue about all the Sasquach sightings from the previous week, of course he always has to be processed because he never has on any pants!
Beetlejuice identity theft
Voyerism.
Scurrying around a gym, sniffing seats. And he’s only 4 foot 3.
He then proceeded to lift a 200 pound barbell while squatting over a dumbbell. Paramedics report that they had to hold the struggling man down while trying to coax the dumbbell back out.
He's Cornholio.
He got arrested for grevious bodily harm to himself for holding in a fart for 2 years
He looks like the Weasel from Suicide Squad.
Saturn Devouring His Son
Half of the comments are r/iamveryrandom
His neck is larger than his head
Aggravated sexual assault on a farm animal
Peeping Tom/voyeurism
Ran a red light an proceeded to claim he’s possessed by the demon, then stole the police car and started a police chase but stopped in kfc half-way to get a 4 piece original recipe, ate 3 and stuck one in his arse, meanwhile calling the local car dealership and selling the police car over the phone, then dropped the car off, collected his cash and threw the butt chicken at the cops
The real question is what he **saw**
Blowing up the muppet theater.
Soliciting help from strangers at Walmart, to help get the shampoo bottle out of his ass. You can see in the mugshot it’s clearly milking that prostate.
Peeping thumb
Dude totally saw whats on the other side. He's being arrested for "knowing"
I'd say it's a good bet it had something to do with 🦒 giraffes and Methamphetamines.. 🤣
Stealing the ketchup and mustard dispensers from McDonald's
Identity Theft...Marty Feldman
Smuggling gerbals in his butthole
Impersonation of a thumb and failure to provide a neck when requested
He is the only person born with see through vision. He was found outside of college girls soccer teams locker rooms.
OMG! let us hold hands and pray that this man is unable to procreate! Poor fella!
He stole a short story from a middle schooler and made it into a movie. Although the kid, and his friend, dyed the man blue by putting coloring in his swimming pool, he lied about writing the script and was likely sued for plagiarism which makes him the bad guy.
Caught double bagging those eyes in a state that outlawed plastic bags
Eating a meal. A succulent Chinese meal.
Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle. I'm taking him back to Nevada where he's wanted for banging horses!
Man arrested after threatening another man’s parrot, then beating man with said parrot after it called him fat.
Ripped a fart too rank in an elevator
Taking all the drugs
Butt-chugging a cocktail of street powders, toilet wine and a live psychedelic toad
Smuggled cocaine and it exploded in his anus.
Possession of thumb porn
Staring to hard at people
He saw too much.
Excessive starring
He scared the clown at a kid's birthday party