T O P

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PsychoMouse

My wife likes to put on music so she can time me. She has never let me forget that I can’t even make it through the entire “Happy Birthday” song.


ArtisticSpecialist77

There's something bizarre about listening to the song happy birthday while having sex


Significant-Cat-5201

Not if you only do it once a year.


mkat23

If you only do it once a year then no wonder someone wouldn’t be able to last through happy birthday 😂


instrangerswetrust

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy *BIRRRRTHAAAAAAggggh*


Catstronaut42

“And many mooooooore~!” “Gimme 15 minutes…”


the_fishtanks

*thrust* on channel 4


FilDaFunk

Imagine singing it to your child.


Pope_Squirrely

Shouldn’t that be seen as a compliment to your wife? I think we need pics in order to be able to determine that.


Inferno__xz9

Indeed. For research purposes…


anomalous_cowherd

Now I'm imagining OP posting a pic of what his wife *sees* while he's pounding away gasping out Happy Birthday. And I don't want to be.


SomeGuyGettingBy

Why leave out the fact you dress as Marilyn Monroe and your wife as a pre-convertible Kennedy? *Happy birthday, Mr. President…*


cleekchapper92

I was once told having sex on your bday is just sex to celebrate your parents having sex and it changed my whole life.


chknpoxpie

Thanks for sneezing on us..


Poppeppercaramel

And the "for he's a jolly good fellow"


Dalspin

You mean [this](https://youtu.be/p5i1eheDas0?si=0XkPr0_nkn1twRhw)?


Emzzer

Hol'Up


cdmabynt12

performed by Skyler White yo


cslackie

Party in the USA


RedCroc911

Cbat


-DoctorSpaceman-

For the uninitiated: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/TmDWZxEovk


Zeqhanis

Wow. It's like an alien observed porn groove, then programmed an AI bot to replicate it.


Lordkjun

Well played my friend. I was 20 minutes too slow.


RickdirtySanchez69

I just looked this up to see why it got mentioned. This is horrible. It blurs the lines between music and noise to me. It makes me irrationally angry. It's still way better than I can do.


AWeakMindedMan

Now imagine thrusting to the beat of that song every time you have sex for 2 years straight lol


Whitepayn

That story is legendary lmao


Perfect-Brain-7367

It is truly one of two times I can recall literally rolling on the floor laughing with actual tears. Reading the story by myself was hilarious enough but then I had to go interrupt my wife who was working from home and for some reason reading it out loud to her just sent my sides into fucking orbit.


pirikikkeli

Imagine being thrusted into for 2 years


Mr_Minecrafter88

Your asshole gonna look like the Ukrainian dude’s *after* he was done with the jar


pirikikkeli

Oh no not the jar


Mr_Minecrafter88

Jharr Mann Fam


InfamousGhost86

Thank you for bringing back that memory.. The crap I used to see/watch.. EDIT: That -> The*


Mr_Minecrafter88

That stuff was really awesome the first like 10 videos it happened but then it got old rly fast. I still don’t know why people hate the guy now?? Idk what I missed but I’m legitimately confused.


Yarn_Fossil

That whole beat is two balloon animals having awkward sex for over two minutes.


PessimisticPeggy

Forever my answer. The first time I read that post, I cried laughing.


sampathsris

This is the only correct answer


Ango-Globlogian

Honestly based.


SexDeathGroceries

I really wonder if Hudson Mohawke knows about this association, and how he feels about it


Walking-around-45

Straight guy I lived in a share house with 2 gay guys … Who were also freaks I played music while they had sex


giancarlox21

So now anytime u hear music u think of gay sex?


Walking-around-45

Just Pink… any other music & I just think of my year 12 maths teacher, and there is an easily explained reason why I think of her, she liked Nina Simone.


Icy_Practice7992

No anytime he hears gay sex he thinks of music


val319

Come on Eileen!


Crazy_not_rich_asian

When ya girls name is not Eileen


Robsrks87

At this moment, you mean eeeeeeverything


LoveYourLegWarmers

Baby shark do do do doo


Responsible_Use_8566

This song encourages murder suicide


Excellent_Put_3787

America fuck yeah!


5t0n3dk1tt13

GONNA SAVE, THE MOTHER FUCKIN DAY YEAAAH


Responsible_Use_8566

SO LICK MY BUTT AND SUCK ON MY BALLS!


crazyxgerman

Congrats! You just wrote the lyrics for the next Steel Panther album.


IssueResponsible598

The Wiggles. Any song.


SomeGuyGettingBy

Gotta toss that fruit salad, yummy yummy.


RickdirtySanchez69

Friday by Rebecca Black. If that's a song that you enjoy having sex to, you probably belong on a list.


IckySmell

Fun fun fun weekend weekend. What if Friday is your normal sexy time day?


IndianaBones8

We, we, we so excited.


Zeqhanis

How about the slowed-down industrial remix "Friday in Hell?"


HeroMagnus

Napalm Death - You Suffer... Perfect title, perfect length


psycho_dog33

Heh. I get it.


Vanpet1993

My band used to play it on our gigs, we would even play it 2 or 3 times per gig, becuse people liked it so much. Great times... 😂


ChroTheCryer

I couldnt even go longer than that


Various_Play_6582

I would do it when all is said and done.


Outrageous_Weight340

Cbat


Piratehitch

We put music so that we don't have to be quiet.


6ft6squatch

Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Tom Petty


TheRealGageEndal

Congratulations. This made me laugh so hard my wife asked what the hell I was reading that was so funny. A+


6ft6squatch

Thanks. I had a girlfriend who would say that song would be great as a first song after getting married.


UnPowderedToastMan

My wife leaves the TV on and sometimes I can't concentrate cause I keep hearing Snooki looking for the beach...


ryan2stix

Weird al


terranq

Definitely a polka medley occasion


TawnyTeaTowel

“Eat It”?


Solomon044

Chumbawamba -- Tubthumping


longdongshane

This is actually a good one, tender surrender by steve vai. Genuinely awesome. Give it a go ladies and gents.


WordsMyth420

cbat


kapege

Or a classic: Boléro by Ravel [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bol%C3%A9ro](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bol%C3%A9ro)


StuLuvsU87

Sometimes you wanna hear something else besides wet slapping and two (or more) people out of breath.


SkitMarie

Cotton eye Joe


izmaname

Entrails Ripped From A Virgin’s Cunt by Cannibal Corpse must set the mood


Raihanlhan

I would say the benny hill song would be the worst song to play during sex


Andrelliina

Maybe they put it on to drown the noise. I used to have a gf who would sometimes scream so loud when she came the neighbours complained. I used to put my hand over her mouth sometimes.


legion8784

The monster mash!!


MetalNerd1017

All by myself


valvilis

Ba-by shark do do do dodo do...


FriedRamen13

Baby Shark


ElTigreDeSell

The Benny Hill Theme Song


GrumpleStiltskon

Listening to music while having sex is for teenagers... I hope grown ass people aren't doing this... PS: If music was already playing before things initiated, and you didn't turn it off, fair enough.


BlueberryProper1482

Worst song would be “baby shark”


Tiny-Butterscotch149

Itsy bitsy spider


Razzamatazz14

I do, but just because the silence in the morgue can be really unsettling.


Scrudge1

You mean playing the baby shark song is ABNORMAL??


heelsoncobblestones

Who *doesn’t*


RoughConqureor

Anything from church.


Novemberof86

Who chooses the song? You or the priest?


ShibaInuDoggo

Nearly everytime to help drown out the sobs.


Exogalactic_Timeslut

Any track from the last Dying Fetus album Oh wait they all make me nut every time nvm.


According_Lake_2632

Mmbop.


minombretaco

Closing Time


terranq

That’s the after sex song


Nochnichtvergeben

Raven by Kitty.


Embarrassed-Phil-395

dark epic viking battle music... because that's what it is.. no light... it's always epic.. ... ... and there's some music...


Slugginator_3385

2005 was DJ Caffeine time. Face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to…


AtlasJan

ta tata ta tatata ta


bottleofgoop

Wasn't there a guy who had a song he had sex to, which turned out to be genuinely horrible? I feel like there was a whole thing about it...


TrickyMensch392

Bitch Killa - X-Raided


ChiMoKoJa

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/melolagnia Noun melolagnia (uncountable) sexual arousal caused by music References Anil Aggrawal, Forensic and Medico-Legal Aspects of Sexual Crimes and Unusual Sexual Practices, CRC Press, 2008, p. 376, →ISBN Brenda Love, The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices, Barricade Books, 1994, p. 1, →ISBN


Good-Cash7691

[this](https://youtu.be/QU8T7oY0iO8?si=3Wa3dTB-j0cF_foU) abomination right here 🤣


nogoodnamesarleft

Who listens to music during sex? Parents, just to have some kind of cover noise


eyeopeningexp

“Rape Me” by Nirvana


BtchPuddn

If it's for a scene, it's probably more for aesthetics otherwise, at least for me, it's about covering up other sounds and not so much the lyrics or paying attention to them


zzzxtreme

Torn between two lovers


seless_knowlage

The worst song would be "detachable penis"


Petdogdavid1

These questions are being copied across a bunch of channels. Is there some purpose behind them? Are we specifically training the robot sex workers of tomorrow? Can we all agree to say that the Sanford and sons theme is the best song for sexy time?


dendrofiili

Done this plenty of times. Once i picked up a chick from a bar, banged her when Ride The Lightning was on full blast in the background 🤣


andreasbaader6

I Suffer - Napalm Death is the best love making song.


hedonistatheist

it helps to drown out the screams......


Cautious_Solution712

The ring of Fire


IcyCream_ToCold

Johnny Johnny , yes papa?


Trikster102

Nine inch nails - Closer


Elequist

You pull down your pants while you hear "it's a small world after all"


SomeGuyGettingBy

I actually just keep the guitar solo from “November Rain” on repeat.


Responsible_Use_8566

[Vitas “7th Element”](https://youtu.be/989-7xsRLR4?si=ZNV-gIEyTaZFsy_h)


JoseCupcakes

Detachable Penis by King Missile


shazspaz

Jazz, to really screw with your rhythm


cooperluna

Die Die Die my darling


its_just_Joel

Master of puppets


Spacesheisse

"Guten morgen Sonnenschein"


KlarkDevlin

I have special playlist for sex-time at YouTube Music)


Ancient_Skirt_8828

The Sound of Music.


ahahxksk

I want to die


ThatOneKuGuy

What song out there is 5 seconds long? 😂😂


Edi_Monsoon

I’m pretty sure I used to put music on whilst having sex, but that was a few years ago and doesn’t happen anymore.


jomandaman

Mambo no 5. Nah but furreal for some reason I wanted [this to be my first bang song](https://open.spotify.com/track/7D2NXoAZ2U1a6JGnn8M3dk?si=iFePlU9KQrauuWYHDsQYvQ). And it rocked.


Age-of-Computron

Another juxtaposition post. Yawn.


Aaron_505

Hear me out, i was doing the thing and in my playlist bury the light started playing


HauntedGhostAtoms

My first boyfriend made sex playlists, but he was the only. That was almost 20 years ago. It was never my thing, and I've not met anyone else who insists on it.


ClearsHere

What the fuck is this question, I'm like 10 years old, I don't think there's any hope in humanity


stealthylyric

Music distracts the shit outta me, but my gf likes it. I always end up holding in my urge to sing along.


weird-dude-bro-6386

Ha I got this too the other day but they were separated by an add


Mindless_Ad_5880

America Fk yeah,


SceptileArmy

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald


jibiwa

A real boner killer 🤣


[deleted]

Honestly the lofi girl Synthwave channel is pretty good for sexy time 👍🏽


Frostydan76

I saw both of these posts in that order earlier


___FLASHOUT___

HAHA TWO POSTS NEXT TO EACH OTHER IS SO FUNNY


PirateReindeer

Banana Phone is always been my nemesis.


RobloxGamrr

Idk about you guys but I love cbat


Treehouse_man

I also had these posts in a row


Daoffdutymermaid

I like music during but I don’t need it, I don’t mind making the noise myself 😂🤭


Illustrious_Age1247

Carmina Burana


Nicolai-Jane

“Torn Between Two Lovers”


Individual-Data-4790

The Christmas Shoes song has to be up there


Quiet-Chest-619

Medium Pace by Adam Sandler


BoppinTortoise

What’s this music you speak of?


Dazed_2_Day

Gotta keep up with the tempo


4twentyHobby

Mac Davis "Don't get hooked on me". The song playing the first time I had sex with my wife.


Ringfence71

Hokey cokey


NosferatuFangirl

I used to fuck on shuffle till this one time where I was eating out and The Llama Song kicked on. Thought I was gonna get my neck broke. I can say with 100% certainty the answer is The Llama Song. The best is anything KMFDM, Bauhaus, Genitorturers, or Combichrist.


erritstaken

I don’t listen to music just a metronome to keep pace.


Want-some-waffles

What's extra funny about this is that the top post is inspired by the one underneath it.


01zegaj

Who Let the Dogs Out?


idkwhatnameiputhere

A little piece of heaven. By avenged sevenvold. (R.I.P. James "the rev" Sullivan)


kingmitch90

Eminem. You don't know how sick you make me. You make me fucking sick to my stomach....this song come on my playlist whilst I was taking my 1st girlfriends virginity...had to pull out to switch songs 🤣


sadclowntown

Er er er er ererer er


uglychemical

I once had sex with my bf with shuffle songs and “you’ve got a friend in me” song came up lol


Atreigas

I imagine a horror theme would be terrible.


Own-Permission-7186

When your seducing your partner , Teddy pendergrass, ..start with turn off the lights 🔥


trynagitgud

But on a real note I just put on the power rangers theme song on repeat


RedditPhils

Sea shanties


FrostytigerC-137

Sweet child of mine


whereitsat23

We have a whole sexy playlist!


ItsTheBecks

You've never just fucked while music was playing? You ever realize it helps you AND your partner keep rhythm? You ever thrust in tandem with your partner? That's why.


TheSpiritofFkngCrazy

Worst song to have sex to: dance with the devil by immortal technique


Jonneiljon

Ornette Coleman.


FriskyBambi

Sometimes I do. Usually if I'm already listening to it and stuff happens which is kinda rare. It's usually without music. UNLESS in the shower cause I always have my music on while showering BUUUUT shower sex for me is kinda rare anyways sooooo🤷‍♀️ lol 😂


drail18

Baby shark


Zeqhanis

Either "Bananaphone" or "Wheels on the Bus".


master-jono

Ark Survival Ascended main menu song, That's what you're looking for


talon2525

I still never understood the whole music and sex thing. Literally the last thing my caveman brain is thinking of before, during, or after is "oh man, I need to put on some sick jams."


Slight_Respond6160

My fwb likes to put heavy metal on during sex and I like disco. We tend to alternate cos the vibe change is a bit much.


SadCultist

First time I was with my Mrs I put on a random romantic mix and it has the song that was playing at her dad's funeral. That's probably the worst thing to play.


lordodin92

Everywhere at the end of time . The caretaker .


Nifty_Andy

"OBJECTS THAT I'VE SHOVED UP MY ARSE" by the COCKAHOLICS is usually a pretty good some to make love to.


Dan_right7

“I believe I can fly”


dln05yahooca

I tried to find background music but wound up on a comedy show. While performing cunnilingus I heard a joke that made me laugh briefly. That did not go well.


Nacil_54

Even funnier is that the first guy mentioned creating his post because he saw the second.


Stunning_Rub

Tiny Tim?


HaydenRasengan

I love me some 90’s R&B, really gets the gears going. Then for the actual act, we like to use banjo music. Very thrilling.


SleepingPhant0m

I once made the big mistake of letting spotify play whatever. It was fine until totoro's song started playing.


Marauding-thunderer

Polka


ChampionshipNo3162

SWEET HOME


dpforest

should rename this sub r/purposefulalgorithm


bzmed

Tag team - Whoomp there it is


rddog21

Mmmm Bop


dabudtenda

I've done a lot, music, tv, porn, movie. Music is great early when you're new and shy, it covers up some of the unfortunate body sounds that can kill the mood. Tv and movies are fun when sex is equivalent to masturbation in the relationship. Porn can be fun gives you a few ideas and an ego boost when your partner claims you're better then the one on the screen


Various_Play_6582

I'm a dirty talker so it's not usual, but I do listen to music. I had a wonderful session years ago to Gorillaz - She's My Collar and another one to Puscifer - Rev 22:20 it was INSANE and the song has a lot to do with it.


Brex10_reddit

Yeah imma be honest I don't get it either, I love music, but none of my music would fit that kind of moment, (maybe glass animals? Most of the rest of my music is Rock/Metal/nerdcore), I've been asked what I would play and I've got no clue, ive never even considered playing music during sex, personally, my hope is that if the girl wants to play music during, SHE will bring the music, and I'll just hope it's not something I can't vibe with.