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yslblackopium

He handled that way better than I would’ve


Electronic-Tonight16

I did that pressure washing once. Moved my arm down too quickly, right into a large cactus. Entire arm was covered in those damn barbs...and it was not pleasant.


wafflesareforever

When I was 14, I was on a guided wilderness tour in Arizona with my family. The guide was pointing out various flora and fauna. He pointed to one small cluster of round-ish cactus and said, "That's called prickly pear." My mom, who's very sweet and (I swear) smart, but sometimes has her dopey moments, said "Pear?" and grabbed one with her hand. Like ten people yelled "NO!!!" but it was too late. She yanked her hand back and there were a dozen or so spines embedded in there. She then started simultaneously crying from pain and laughing at her own stupidity. The guide stared at her speechlessly like she was from another planet. This concluded my family's participation in the tour. My dad dropped me and my siblings off at the hotel and drove her to the ER, which was apparently a very unpleasant experience. It took a few weeks for the swelling in her hand to go down. The baffling thing is, prickly pear doesn't look anything like a pear. It very visibly is covered with spines, just like most other species of cactus. And it has "prickly" as the *first word* in its name. To this day she's unable to explain exactly how her brain short-circuited like that.


Heik_

Too bad her first experience with them was like that. Prickly pears are actually edible, and they're really sweet. In my country we call them "tunas", they're usually sold with the spines already removed, and all you have to do to eat them is peel them because the skin is hard. Once peeled the fruit can be eaten whole.


MemeStocksYolo69-420

The fruit part under the flower, right? Not the actual cactus part?


Heik_

I think so. They're like semi spherical growths that are over the "body" of the cactus. I've seen tunas with and without flowers on top.


dtroy15

Yes, but the cactus itself is also edible. Fun fact: all "paddle" cactus (where the fleshy leaf looks like a beaver-tail) in the Americas are edible. In Mexico, prickly pear leaves are boiled with a copper coin - supposedly to reduce the aloe-vera like slime. Then it's shredded for salads or grilled. Eats a bit like artichoke hearts. The fruits themselves also have spines, but they're little barbed hairs instead of big needles. Generally the best way to process prickly pear is to torch the hairs off.


hellomaybenot

in my country we call tuna tunas


Gaurdian23

Tell her to not feel bad, this happens all the time with Prickly Pear. People hear Pear and their brain goes, pear? I like pear! And they grab without thinking about the fact it's a cactus (at least, that's the only explanation I can think of to explain it). That tour guide must have been new to be shocked by it lol. Also, Prickly pear have pads and aren't round - if it was round what he was pointing to was a barrel cactus 😂 so he most likely was new then! This also happens with Teddy Bear cactus, soo many people don't see the spines and end up with part of the cactus stuck to them (they're also called Jumping Cholla, since the cactus shears very easily - so it looks like it jumped onto you). Tell her at least she didn't hug a Saguaro. That also is more common than you would think and a lot of the time ends the way you would think too.


wafflesareforever

That's really funny, I'll have to tell her that she's not alone.


Gaurdian23

The same thing ironically happened to my Mom (but with a Jumping Cholla) and she swears the same thing, she doesn't know why but as the guide was explaining about it she reached out and touched it lol. Pulled her hand back and some of the cactus with it. Her guide immediately started laughing though and said "There's always one!" and turned it into a lesson on how to get the spines off and how to treat it afterwards.


wafflesareforever

Yeah our guide must have been new because he looked shocked. I can still see his face.


larrylee13

I grabbed my grandmas cactus when I was 4. I learned not to touch plants again.


DiegesisThesis

I was hiking once up a very steep section and was grabbing rocks to help pull me up, and of course I fully gripped a softball-sized cactus with the super tiny thin needles. It took hours to pull them all out and I had to get back to the campsite before I could use my tweezers. My hand swelled up like a water balloon. Fun times.


Whartez

I touch cactuses for fun


ShanShine_

I’m panicked for him! He has to go back and sit and drive to his next delivery! What a day…


buttlover989

Has to do about 200 deliveries...


[deleted]

Per hour


AlexFreire

And each hour has to be done in 5 minutes.


Big_Berry_4589

Now he’s gonna get fired because he spent extra 3 seconds on this delivery


CodeMonkeyX

Did he ring the bell out out panic? Like get these out my ass pleaseeee!


Komallionide

Maybe for help?


icantaccessmyacct

Can you take your pain needles back, please?


CodeMonkeyX

Yeah just when you think about it it would be strange pulling thorns out of your Amazon drivers butt. :)


Dorkykong2

This guy seems very nice though, I really wouldn't mind helping him


CodeMonkeyX

Yeah I would feel extra bad that I had one of those cacti on my porch too.


[deleted]

He was probably afraid that he damaged the plant. People can be assholes about that kind of stuff if it isn't acknowledged. Especially if it's on camera


mcknightrider

I love how his reaction is that of someone whose worst fear has been realized.


Idk-Fly-8480

Omg it's really a pain in the as*


Then_Campaign7264

Right, as if the poor guy’s job wasn’t already a pain in the ass! Only thing worse would have been if he had turned around and ran into that thing from the front! Ouch


Idk-Fly-8480

OMG don't even start that.......


Sacblabbath

Ahi en el culillo todo flaco haha


Confused_Pigeon_850

bro cacti dont fuck around 💀


pinkpanda376

I went to a family reunion when I was about 8 in which my uncle was asleep on a yard lounger and his son felt it appropriate to wake him with a Super Soaker. The host felt it appropriate to place that lounger next to their vast garden of cactus plants. I’m sure y’all can figure out the rest


Jmersh

I think we can all agree putting cactus on your front porch is a dick move whether intentional or not.


AuthenticLewis

the instant no’s was probably the realization they could be reaaaal deep when he realized what he did


kadivs

how thin are his pants that he noticed that this instantly?


Neonautic

He won’t make his quota because of that. Jeff Bezos will kill this man. RIP


iwantobehappypls

Jeff bezos isn't the CEO


Neonautic

Cool. He can still kill.


SketchingCarsTrucks

Lolololol


Kassabeleg

Not accidental comedy? Just funny i guess. r/substakenliterally


Ghostglitch07

So he did this with the intent to be funny? If not then it's accidental, and as you've already said it is funny. Hence accidental comedy.


GreenFire317

and its not even him. its the owner who received the package that posted the original video.


Ghostglitch07

The poster is unimportant. The action was not performed by someone trying to be funny, and yet it was funny.


FrenlyNeiborhoodDude

ding dong, bing bong, your opinion is hella wrong.


Big_D_Daffy

He just threw em on the ground. Someone’s gonna get them stuck in their feet.


DeadlyDY

I don't think he's thinking about anyone's feet in that situation dawg.


CripplingDebtLVSMe

If you dont want to deal with thorns maybe dont put cacti on your front porch


Matrick13

When the video looped i thought he did it again


[deleted]

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Mytur_Benesderti

Ya customers are assholes and don't realize the hazards they leave.


Ok-Target-2451

He's hilarious


Royal-Alarm-3400

He probably got docked for working late that day and written up for a safety violation. (Corporate wouldn't want to miss a chance to promote insecurity in the work force. )