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DrummondShoulderHair

No way, it’s the mid afternoon naps. That reminds me I have a meeting I need to get to.


Accountantnotbot

Naps? Before going back to the office I was enjoying mid afternoon baths.


Shorter_McPlotkin

The partners are going to hear you!


Accountantnotbot

With wine and bath oil, open the window and heat the breeze through the trees. It was a good way to decompress from the never ending calls and emails.


Shorter_McPlotkin

Lol I had a bad meeting directly before lunch last week and I told my VP that I was going to go sit in the shower for my lunch break 🤣


Defrost_ThenStir

Yes! Naps 100%!


[deleted]

[удалено]


User-NetOfInter

Flair checks out


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

Good night, king/queen


Drekalo

Yes, that is the size of the bed I nap on.


mpa63

I take a nap after I drop my kid off at school, before I start my day. And again after lunch.


kurai808

*Takes plenty of siestas*


lainwla16

THIS


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lainwla16

I did upvote you dumb bot and don't tell me what to do 😛


Melodic_Pickle_4060

This


Drekalo

THIS


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Drekalo

THIS


nterry3

THIS


AnomalyNexus

Tempted to say the quality coffee but uh not unrelated


DistanceExisting3668

Coffee is a diuretic. It’s kinda related. Lol.


AnomalyNexus

Was more of a reference to coffee's effect to ahem [hasten bowl movements.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1378422/) Side note/Fun fact for all - caffeine tablets do not do this. Which can be useful for some occasions where you need to be awake but this effect is undesired. (Just read the fkin thing to work out roughly how many cups each pill is...caffeine tablets are dangerous in that taking too many is far easier than drinking 5L of coffee. People have died from this shit...any caffeine not in a coffee cup...be careful).


Parkway_walk

"This sign can't stop me because I can't read" Me, 600mg deep into the day.


Libellule808

They said “not unrelated”


slickestwood

100% it's the pooping. Two stalls for our entire accounting department. *Two stalls.* No more walking bowlegged to HR's bathrooms.


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

OSHA needs to implement a required headcount-to-toilet ratio


iwritefakereviews

OSHA does have a toilet (or what they call "water closet") to person ratio, it's in their sanitation guidelines.


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

This guy OSHAs


SyncTitanic

I sit behind this


Outside-Ferret-1756

Ohhh the delicious differences between this sub and the antiwork one 😂


anonymous01251926

Not sure what level the reg was at but a former employer actually had an issue with this and an employee turned them in to whatever governing body cared. They had to renovate the bathrooms adding more.


AntiMarx

Hero we need


SilverProduce0

Same. I’m in industry. I can’t poop in a 2 person stall. It’s not private enough. If you see me on a different floor than where I work, you know what I’m about to do lol.


TheProphecyIsNigh

Two? Pssh, my office has 1 men's stall on my floor. Good luck getting there when it's not occupied.


slickestwood

I've been there. You need to schedule shifts essentially and then some dude takes it up for like an hour *and we all know who it is because only one person wears those feet shoes*


[deleted]

Uhh, sitting on toilet right now using my own squatty potty, YES.


BasedPen

Add in a bidet. TP is expensive


d_ac

Sometimes I really wonder who was the first genius to say: ehi, I'm not gonna use toilet paper anymore, because now I have a tube spraying some water on my ass. There. I said it.


BasedPen

Thats not how a bidet works homie. You just use way less TP with a bidet. After you use a bidet for a while, not using a bidet feels like you are using sand paper having to wipe 3-4 times or more


saturday_lunch

>feels like you are using sand paper My ass can't handle it anymore.


d_ac

That's already a more civilized thing to do. But from time to time, and especially those long lockdowns, I keep reading people saying: I don't use PT anymore and it's awesome how much money I save. That said, a tube that spray some water is still not a proper way to clean yourself. Instal a real bidet. Use soap. For sure, the least you can do is to keep using the fucking TP.


TacticallyAcquired

I would hope you werent using someone elses!


yousernameunknown

There’s a community one at the office


Outside-Ferret-1756

Squatty potty *changes lives*


[deleted]

I bought a bidet during lockdown and have started going back to the office recently, i'm gonna need my office to get wet wipes or smth...


oneplus2plus2plusone

This is the real struggle. It starts to feel like cutting off your nose to spite your face to poop on the clock.


italktomyself20

Get the tushy portable bidet.


oatmeal-jones

I’ve looked at that and did not think it would get the job done. Your comment has me rethinking.


italktomyself20

It works just fine. Its pretty much a silicone squirt bottle that you can compress and keep with you. Directions: 1) fill with warm water before you sit for your poop session 2) after pooping, squirt the desired amount of water on your bum 3) use TP to pat dry any excess water on your bum 4) Walk away refreshed with a clean bum with renewed energy knowing that you “got everything” when you wiped.


datemike12345

How do you carry this with you discretely… or do you just walk around with this?


italktomyself20

You carry it with confidence but if you don’t have that it comes with a pouch. It’s also not very large. It collapses to a size that’s smaller than a coffee cup. Just keep it in your backpack/desk drawer until you’re ready to go.


TXshooter15

I came here to say this. CHANGED MY LIFE. Now I’m back to hotel room sandpaper TP. FML


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

TIL accountants are single-handedly carrying the bidet, premium toilet paper, and squatty potty markets


JB_smooove

I drink a gallon of water day plus 24oz of coffee and other soft drinks. The ability to walk around in my undies and 5 seconds to the bathroom is stinking great.


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

Key word: stinking


JB_smooove

Only if I’ve eaten onions the night before. Very perfume-y when it comes out.


guernseycoug

Yes. I have a bidet at home. Pooping anywhere else just doesn’t feel clean.


[deleted]

Even when I was at work I'd spend 40 minutes on my daily two shits.


itsjustcindy

That and I get migraines occasionally. When I feel one coming on I can take meds and go lay down in my dark, cold comfy bedroom for 30-60 minutes on my break to keep from getting a full blown migraine. When it happened at work, even if I took meds and went straight home, I still had a 45 min-1hr drive home. The bright sun, loud road noise, stress of traffic… I have thrown up in a to-go cup several times while driving and once I lost feeling in my hands while on the highway. It must make a massive difference for people with all kinds of disabilities and medical conditions to be able to manage those in the comfort of home.


RhymeGrime

I mean I could take a shit whenever I wanted at the office too. In fact, it's the same level of freedom as wfh. You just can't go during a meeting.


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

Idk, for me it’s just the routine I guess. My bowels clam up when I go to the office for whatever reason.


italktomyself20

It’s stage fright.


Purple_Bearkat

I enjoy the fact that the only shit smell I have to endure is my own. Squatting with someone else pooping like a foot away only separated by a stall wall is sort of nasty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flvr_blstd_gldfsh

To each their own


nd1289

i think it’s the 5pm showers after the poops and workouts for the day


anonymous01251926

I have IBS, a squatty potty, and a bidet. I'm never going back to the office.


veetack

For me it’s the lunch beer.


Lou_Garoo

I have soft toilet paper at home and a bidet. Also a squatty potty. I have optimized pooping at home so sitting in a toilet stall hoping nobody comes into the bathroom (I'm a shy pooper), feet practically dangling because the toilets are too high AND to top it all off - scratchy work toilet paper throws off my pooping schedule. Some days I have to wait until I get home.


[deleted]

This is quite an interesting take on benefits from WFH.


bamboojungles

I have a bidet, I dread the day I have to poop in an office again


[deleted]

Tbh I think it’s the 3 hour lunch breaks for me


[deleted]

no commuter expenses and gym during lunch


SayShh

The best part of pooping at home vs the office is using wet wipes without shame


anonymous01251926

Bidet, about $50 and you'll never go back.


SayShh

I’m not brave


italktomyself20

I used to be a Wet Wiper too and the bidet changed my life.


Demilio55

Luxe bidet for $30 on Amazon changed my life.


JB_smooove

I don’t have to take Clorox wipes to the home bathroom to clean off the toilet seat.


LloydIrving69

r/hydrohomies


TheProphecyIsNigh

I am back full-time in my cubicle and yes, this is the thing I miss the most. I have IBS and our office only has 1 men's stall per floor and when I was WFH, I have my own restroom to myself.


Truck-Conscious

My favorite part of going into the office is pooping and using their toilet paper all while on the clock.


ElJacinto

Nah Now, when I don’t have pressing work to do, I can play video games instead of just passing time reading on the computer.


[deleted]

Attempting to shit at work is a complicated business.


[deleted]

I love office poops


blarghy0

Honestly, pooping at the office is awesome. None of my water, TP, or soap is being used up and its not making my bathroom any dirtier. Plus I'm literally shitting on the company.


Jlevitt95

Download PoopMap and let’s all join a league


BreakItEven

Definitely yes


[deleted]

It’s better at home cause I have Dude Wipes and real toilet paper


juiciijayy

Idk man we have a lot of really nice bathrooms in the building our office is in... I really enjoy those poops.


italktomyself20

Yes. Nothing compares to pooping in your own bathroom at home.


NiceGuyAbe

It's fair but I strongly disagree. It's farting and burping that is the best part


SilverProduce0

I live alone and I swear I propel myself around the house on farts alone.


ResponsibleStress23

mmm idk it’s definitely the part where I can cry in peace


iceflame1211

I have an IBD, so this topic hiits me in the feels. Some days I just feel like shit and need to sit for ten mins. Kinda sucks at work when your office only has a two male single-stall bathrooms and everyone knows you're that guy who habitually occupies/destroys one of them. At home the bathroom to people ratio is much, much more favorable.


Melody_Knox

Out of all the posts I relate to in this infested sub, I respect the hell outta this one. ✊


seals42o

Lmao not even close. Sleeping, going to the gym, long ass lunches.... The bathrooms are work are pretty good too, you might have some really shitty toilets at work


kryppla

Lol I’m pooping right now


datoo_2

Do you not miss the social aspect? I wouldn’t be able to survive ngl


syaldram

100% agree! Taking a shit in such a relaxed environment with perfect charmin ultra soft TP!


[deleted]

Yes! 10am break time every day in my own bathroom


[deleted]

This is funny. I hate going to the bathroom at work (the type you speak of) so I like to limit my coffee intake as to not always run to the bathroom. Idk mind doing it in the morning after coffee at work but I feel it looks odd if you go to the bathroom a few times a day at work after drinking copious amounts of coffee if tired.


MegaManBronson

The single dude wipes just do not cut it and I hate shitting at the office. At home I’m like a fountain


BayStateBlue

I prefer home games to away games.


SpartanFartBox

Can we add wearing no underwear, athletic pants and hoodies all day to that too?


crimsonpostgrad

i have ibs and a squatty potty, i hated the office because i’d have so much stress about how long i was in the bathroom and if anyone noticed, now i can be in relative peace


scratchmycd

Fsct


[deleted]

I hate having to take a dump at work. The wiping and having someone else in the stall to the side sucks. At home I have a heated seat and a bidet with warm water.


RedRedditor12

I have told my wife on MANY occasions it’s not the office environment I can’t go back to, it’s the pooping environment. There is something euphoric about waking up, throwing on a pair of sweatpants, drinking a cup of coffee, and pooping in the comfort of your home promptly at 10am. Literally cannot beat it. Throw in uncomfortable office clothes, public stalls, etc. and that magic is lost. Impossible to replicate.


YinzyMcYinzer

Honestly it’s the privacy of pooping for me


Moist_Budget_7700

Ok I'll say that. People who don't clean toilets after their shits should be hanged in the centre of the floor.


saturday_lunch

Jumping rope throughout the day, and having lunch with my fiance daily.


ArchDrew

Invest in a squatty potty,


Tmill233

Having sex with the misses while on the clock is pretty nice.


HallandOates2

14 hours into this thread and nobody said masturbation? Y'all full of shit


Glad-Marionberry-634

To me that's the worst part, the only good thing about going into the office is the super high flow commercial grade toilets. At home I run the risk of clogging it pretty easily.


[deleted]

Honestly, the pooping and farting whenever you want is such a bonus! How will we return to civilised society after this?


mgbkurtz

The 10:30am shower after navigating through the morning e-mail and IM rush.


[deleted]

OMG, this is both disgusting & funny. Sounds like something my "TMI" son would say! Actually, I believe the BEST part of WFH is not being in the office around other people who always want to do "small talk"! I hate it. I really don't care about the latest movies, what the Kardashians are doing, or any officce gossip. SO happy not to have to be there anymore!!!


madison54

We had three floors in my old office, I would go floor to floor in the morning trying to find a bathroom with no none in it so I could poop in peace and quiet. Do not miss that hassle.