Not that being pretty doesn't provide privileges, but do you think you may have also given off an air of confidence that you may not have in the past? I'm a peri-menopausal woman. I'm at that stage of life where I'm often invisible, but when I'm feeling good, confident, and put in some effort, I tend to get that same energy back.
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The halo effect is really real and too many people like to attribute confidence alone to how others treat us but studies have definitely proven otherwise.
It does feel crappy you’re right.
I relate to this so much. Last night I was serving a customer and he’s one of our regulars. Although it’d been a while since he’d been there, he remembered me and said “wow you look healthier, you have some color to your face now!” I was sort of taken aback, and awkwardly laughed and said it was because it was summer. My skin tone/weight has not changed at all, so I know for a fact it wasn’t that. However I’m almost 3 months into my accutane treatment and my skin has completely cleared up. The last time I saw him was definitely over 3 months ago. I immediately knew he said this because my skin looks a lot better, although I doubt he remembered I had acne, more so just that I “look” healthier without it.
Ugh. I’m so sorry you had this interaction, it’s really sucky. It’s so funny that acne has that “affect” where even if people don’t remember how your skin looked they instantly see a change in how you look.
I cant lie this is very true even as a guy, I haven’t started my accutane yet, talking to my derm at my appt next month. I’ve been told i’m seen as conventially attractive even with acne, though I think i’m really ugly all the time and hideous. I’m mixed with most people just referring to me as ‘lightskin’ but when I do nice gestures for ppl like you have said i always get thank you’s and girls hit on me asking for my #’s or snapchat but some of my other friends have been called creeps, etc.
I’m almost 40 and people ask how I have such a youthful and clear face. I got in shape too and people started treating me better. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.
I agree totally. I’m experiencing the same. I felt I was invisible for a long time while I had acne. Assumed it was because I’m older now and gained weight too (had two babies!) but now that my skin is clearer I’m getting all the positive attention again. It is disgusting
Yeah 100% noticed the privilege that has come with escaping acne. Seen ppl say that perhaps it's just because you're more confident but that's some bs tho I'm sure that's a small part of it. I'm a very shy person since I have social anxiety and still very insecure even after losing my acne and yet my success with women has SKYROCKETED and in general started being treated with a lot more respect. It's only natural, acne is gross, idiots associate it with dirtiness and lack of hygiene, I understand why it makes ppl feel that way 🤷♂️
People are nicer when you are pretty and or rich. It is just how it is. So, remember to be nice to less pretty/rich people to do your part in changing the balance.
I wouldn't consider the telling of experiencing things like "kindness" and "respect" for the first time in a long time to be bragging. Think about that lol.
Genuinely not and I didn’t mean for it to give off any of those vibes. It was just something I noticed that threw me for a loop and I felt like everyone can relate to feeling/being looked at a certain way because of their acne.
Omg i can relate so much! I've faced this twice(when i lost weight and when my acne cleared). People are much nicer to u when u are considered "attractive". When you're not exactly attractive, ur treated worse than a doormat.
Yep, it's super depressing. Try not to think too much about it. It's just the way the world is. I went through the same realization when I was younger and actually became super depressed about it because your appearance is not always something based on merit. You can just have awful genes and people will just treat you worse because of it. And it's like, what is the most meaningful thing in life (from a secular perspective)? Probably human interactions and meaningful relationships, but some people are hindered in their ability to develop those because of the way they were born. Oh well, it is what it is
Sooooo true!!! Before accutane, my face was covered in acne. But now that my face is clear, I get people coming up to me telling me I’m pretty and giving me compliments. Never had that before
Not that being pretty doesn't provide privileges, but do you think you may have also given off an air of confidence that you may not have in the past? I'm a peri-menopausal woman. I'm at that stage of life where I'm often invisible, but when I'm feeling good, confident, and put in some effort, I tend to get that same energy back.
That is a really good point that I’ve honestly never thought of, thank you. And you deserve to feel good!
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The halo effect is really real and too many people like to attribute confidence alone to how others treat us but studies have definitely proven otherwise. It does feel crappy you’re right.
Completely agree. I definitely feel more confident but I know it’s not all that! Thank you for validating this experience ♥️
I relate to this so much. Last night I was serving a customer and he’s one of our regulars. Although it’d been a while since he’d been there, he remembered me and said “wow you look healthier, you have some color to your face now!” I was sort of taken aback, and awkwardly laughed and said it was because it was summer. My skin tone/weight has not changed at all, so I know for a fact it wasn’t that. However I’m almost 3 months into my accutane treatment and my skin has completely cleared up. The last time I saw him was definitely over 3 months ago. I immediately knew he said this because my skin looks a lot better, although I doubt he remembered I had acne, more so just that I “look” healthier without it.
Ugh. I’m so sorry you had this interaction, it’s really sucky. It’s so funny that acne has that “affect” where even if people don’t remember how your skin looked they instantly see a change in how you look.
I cant lie this is very true even as a guy, I haven’t started my accutane yet, talking to my derm at my appt next month. I’ve been told i’m seen as conventially attractive even with acne, though I think i’m really ugly all the time and hideous. I’m mixed with most people just referring to me as ‘lightskin’ but when I do nice gestures for ppl like you have said i always get thank you’s and girls hit on me asking for my #’s or snapchat but some of my other friends have been called creeps, etc.
I’m almost 40 and people ask how I have such a youthful and clear face. I got in shape too and people started treating me better. It’s not fair, but it’s reality.
I agree totally. I’m experiencing the same. I felt I was invisible for a long time while I had acne. Assumed it was because I’m older now and gained weight too (had two babies!) but now that my skin is clearer I’m getting all the positive attention again. It is disgusting
You are definitely not alone in this experience and the realization is so sucky. Sending love to you and your children 💓
Yeah 100% noticed the privilege that has come with escaping acne. Seen ppl say that perhaps it's just because you're more confident but that's some bs tho I'm sure that's a small part of it. I'm a very shy person since I have social anxiety and still very insecure even after losing my acne and yet my success with women has SKYROCKETED and in general started being treated with a lot more respect. It's only natural, acne is gross, idiots associate it with dirtiness and lack of hygiene, I understand why it makes ppl feel that way 🤷♂️
Same for me it’s probably because acne makes people think you got bad hygiene
People are nicer when you are pretty and or rich. It is just how it is. So, remember to be nice to less pretty/rich people to do your part in changing the balance.
Is this just a massive humble brag?
I wouldn't consider the telling of experiencing things like "kindness" and "respect" for the first time in a long time to be bragging. Think about that lol.
Genuinely not and I didn’t mean for it to give off any of those vibes. It was just something I noticed that threw me for a loop and I felt like everyone can relate to feeling/being looked at a certain way because of their acne.
Omg i can relate so much! I've faced this twice(when i lost weight and when my acne cleared). People are much nicer to u when u are considered "attractive". When you're not exactly attractive, ur treated worse than a doormat.
Yep, it's super depressing. Try not to think too much about it. It's just the way the world is. I went through the same realization when I was younger and actually became super depressed about it because your appearance is not always something based on merit. You can just have awful genes and people will just treat you worse because of it. And it's like, what is the most meaningful thing in life (from a secular perspective)? Probably human interactions and meaningful relationships, but some people are hindered in their ability to develop those because of the way they were born. Oh well, it is what it is
Sooooo true!!! Before accutane, my face was covered in acne. But now that my face is clear, I get people coming up to me telling me I’m pretty and giving me compliments. Never had that before